Update#1 (thanks for all the support and messages and advise, you all really helped me feel a lot better)

I got a bike for 10 dollars at a pawn shop nobody wanted it so I decided it’s mine.
It’s a Nishiki Colorado, I got it with no breaks and no friction shifter that worked.
I went to the Boise Bicycle project and I worked for parts and while I was cleaning and sweeping up the store, they really worked magic, both breaks fixed, they even matched the paint with the lines blue and yellow.
They replaced the friction shifter and that’s the yellow cable, and even threw some new pedals on her.
I’m going to keep working for parts until it’s 100% then I’m
Going to re paint it by hand to look original, it’s a steel frame no rust.
The next upgrade will be the seat and tires/tubes. I might paint the rims blue in the centers and work it into yellow outers haha.
Im feeling a lot better mentally. The shelter here is helping me tremendously and I want to say thank you to everyone who had supportive thing to say and good advice. I’m listening and I’m learning.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart <3
I’m ditching the trailer idea and I think a basket, and or the little rack over the back tire will be enough for me.