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    1. Here’s what ChatGPT has to say given the image and the prompt, “roast this.”

      >So, you really brought a track bike indoors for a photo shoot? I’m assuming this is your “trophy” bike, and it’s living that cushy closet life instead of tearing up the velodrome. This *Look* frame is looking a little too clean, like it’s been hanging out on Instagram more than it has been riding. Not a single smudge on those tires—are they still virgins to the pavement?

      >You’ve got that pink logo on a black and white frame like the bike couldn’t decide if it wants to be cool or quirky, so it just threw on everything it could find. And what’s going on with that seatpost? Is it trying to take off into space with that angle? You might as well call NASA if you’re going for that kind of height.

      >Honestly, though, the only thing it’s racing toward is probably the nearest mirror for another look at itself.

    2. I have a theory where you can guesstimate how long someone has been riding bikes based on their front light lumens. The “please don’t kill me light” is a vibe.

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