Biden’s Executive Action on Border & Trump Hesitates on Declassifying Epstein Files | The Daily Show

Ronny Chieng dives into President Biden’s executive order to close the border ahead of the election, which has both sides of the aisle up in arms. Plus, Trump stammers when asked if he would declassify the Epstein files and X, a.k.a. Twitter, announces it will allow porn. Plus, Desi Lydic joins Ronny to discuss North Korea sending trash balloons to South Korea. #DailyShow #Biden #Trump #Border

00:00 – Ronny Chieng’s TDS Welcome
00:29 – Biden Announces Sweeping Executive Order on Border
03:39 – Trump Hesitates on Declassifying Epstein Files
05:46 – X Officially Allows X-Rated Content on Site
07:14 – North Korea Flies Trash Over South Korea
09:05 – Desi Lydic Weighs in on the Trash Flying into S. Korea

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[Applause] Welcome to The Daily Show I’m Ro Chang we got so much to talk about tonight North Korea is waging the world’s dirtiest War spelling be is a scam and finally there a place to see porn on the Internet did you know that cuz I didn’t uh but first Joe Biden has decided to start trying to win the election so let’s get into our latest installment of indecision 2024 let’s kick things off with the southern border it’s the line where America stops mowing its lawn and border security is one of President Biden’s biggest weaknesses it’s why he tried to make a border deal with Republicans earlier this year it’s also why Republicans refused to make a deal with him they’re like how can we blame you for this if you fix it you idiot so now with his polls taking uh with his polls tanking 5 months before election day Biden is finally saying f it I’ll just do it myself President Biden taking major steps to sim the flow of migrants crossing the US border illegally with a sweeping new executive action Biden’s new executive order will allow us immigration officials to deport migrants without processing their Asylum claims when the number of illegal border crossing surpasses a specific threshold sources tell CBS news that number is likely 2500 a day which means it would likely be activated immediately in May border patrol recorded an average of 3,800 100 Crossings daily we must face the simple truth to protect America as a land that welcomes immigrants we must first secure the border and secure it now and if the United States doesn’t secure our border there’s no limit to the number of people may try to come here because there’s no better place on the planet than the United States of America hey I get it dude but if you don’t want people to come like maybe stop saying how awesome America is it’s the best you can’t come like start complimenting Canada for once you know let them take s sh yeah but that’s right Biden is shutting down the border and if you watch uh Fox News you’re probably like but I thought Biden wants migrants to flood the country so they can murder my whole family well guess what there’s already enough migrants now to murder your whole family okay so Biden doesn’t need you anymore and if you watch uh MSNBC you’re probably upset about what Biden is doing because some migrants do legitimately need Asylum but I got to give uh liberals a bit of a reality check it’s not very popular to have no control over who immigrates to your country okay just ask the Native Americans now look the fact is that immigrants are vital for America’s economy and its culture and also let’s be honest America needs a better World Cup team okay but if you want to come to America you got to do it the right way okay like I did smuggled inside trevan Noah colon no I’m just look no I’m I’m just kidding I’m I’m kidding obviously I just told ice that I’m Jackie Chan all right I understand the words that are coming out of your mouth but if you’re really upset about this don’t worry like everything else Biden does it’ll probably get knocked down by the Supreme Court so if America really wants to lock down the southern border they should put Ticket Master in charge of it okay these guys are the best at making sure nobody can actually get into the thing they want to okay everyone will be waiting on the queue for 3 hours yeah and then they find out that America’s already sold out and yes there will be massive un unexplained fees but uh let’s move on to the other candidate okay because with Joe Biden struggling in the polls Donald Trump is already making plans to once again take on the Washington swamp in a recent interview with Fox News he promised to stop by exposing all the things the Deep State doesn’t want you to know well almost all the things some people think that one way to build trust is to declassify things if you were president would you declassify you can answer yes or no to these would you declassify the 9/11 um files yeah would you declassify JFK files yeah would you declassify the Epstein files yeah yeah I would all right I guess I would I think that less [Applause] so that that was a bit suspicious right right like 911 yes JFK yes Epstein man let’s no I mean look at the panic in Trump’s eyes I’ve seen more relaxed people on the exit row of a Boeing flight but and why though like why you so weird with the Epstein stuff it’s not like Donald Trump has any particular reason to not want the ab files opened up I mean let’s hear him out here is full answer I think that less so because you know you don’t know you don’t want to affect people’s lives if it’s phony stuff in there cuz there a lot of phony stuff with that whole world okay he’s definitely in that foul he is in the EP files he’s already like look there going to be a lot of phony stuff in there names pictures my DNA you can’t believe any of it uh he’s obviously not worried about protecting other people I mean this is the same guy who said Obama was born in Kenya and Ted Cruz’s dad killed JFK okay now now all of a sudden he’s like look if you put some inaccurate information out there it could really destroy someone’s reputation okay we need to air on the side of caution here besides it doesn’t even matter you don’t need to ask Trump to declassify anything he’s he’s just going to leave it at the buffet table at Mal Lago all right let’s move on to Tech news because the greatest website in the world is about to get even better X the website formerly known as Twitter is now embracing its new moniker in a way that we have not seen before officially allowing ex-rated content on the site as of today users may share consensually produced and distributed adult nudity or sexual behavior in other words porn is now officially allowed on Twitter that’s right Elon Musk is no longer the biggest ass on Twitter now obviously Twitter had porn on it before this but nobody looked at it because it was against the rules okay and now we can guilt free basically instead of fixing the porn problem Elon just decided hey it’s not a problem anymore and uh hey I’m not hating that’s how I handle issues in my life too I mean those aren’t bed bugs they’re my new roommates so Elon surrendered and porn will be everywhere now and honestly like who cares like the the way Twitter is now video would Elevate the discourse but if you think about the company as a whole Twitter’s trajectory like the story of it it’s pretty wild when you think about it like as a company it started as a place where you could follow the news in real time and now that pitch is hey do you love reading Nazi while jacking off and being called a slur oh finally that’s a website for you but let’s move on to a story out North Korea which has raised trash talk to a whole new level South Korea is warning the public to watch out for objects falling from the sky after North Korea flew even more Balloons with trash and filth over the Border today thousand thousand of the Airborne waste deliveries floating into the country since last Tuesday littering places with things like cigarette butts paper and pieces of cloth look at this typical communist all right hey North Korea you don’t stick trash in a balloon and float it over to your enemy okay how about you join the Free World and put your trash in the ocean where it belongs it does show you how clean South Korea is though because if Kim Jan flew trash into New York City no would even notice okay this this trash would land on trash that was already there and we’d be like oh great the neighborhood garbage pal has a fancy balloon now now obviously everyone is pissed at North Korea for doing this but to be fair the South started it groups in South Korea and the South Korean government for years now have sent flash drives and deliveries via Balloons with kramas with uh K-pop music attached to flash drives and sent them to North Korea as an example of like hey this is what life is like outside of North Korea North Korea is now saying this is filth to us so we’re going to send you filth back wow South Korea is uh really getting the short end of a stick here I mean they got the best music and the best TV shows and they’re sending it to North Korea in exchange for garbage I mean that’s a terrible deal um at least demand something North Korea is good at like those videos where cute kids dance in perfect synchronization so the parents don’t get killed uh for more on the trash fight we go live to South Korea with senior Asia correspondent Desi Li Desi Desi what’s the situation over there uh it’s intense Ronnie no one knows when this trash barrage will stop just moments ago this landed mere inches from me look at this look at this a half eaten hot dog disgusting I mean who doesn’t finish their hot dog uh Desi Desi come on you’re supposed to be doing serious reporting here that’s that’s gross you’re gross Ronnie look as a journalist it’s my job to report on these important International conflicts oh my God that was like a direct hit oh I’m fine as a season War correspondent I am prepared I am prepared for anything are you sure you’re okay because it looks like he getting dangerous Ronnie what are you talking about this is great Kim Jong-un is a nuclear armed madman but now he’s just tossing trash over the fence like some weird neighbor you read about on next door this is the best case scenario in fact this is the way every war should be fought usually front lines are Barren mud zones but this just looks like a divorced Dad’s apartment okay okay okay but isn’t this at least bad for the environment oh isn’t this bad for the environment no no you know what’s bad for the environment nuclear war okay a trash war is much better the closest thing I’ve seen to a biohazard here is a double loaded diaper plus it’s much easier for America to support its allies in a trash War we don’t have any money left but you know what we do do have a lot of garbage we got everything we got food waste Plastics all the artwork my kid makes in school it’s endless I mean do you know how many Amazon boxes I throw out every day if trash is weapons I’m basically Ron okay okay well I I I guess a trash War sounds pretty good then yeah I mean well it’s like a little irritating CU you have to step in coffee grounds and old yogurt but still it is way better okay you know what God damn it all right we’ll talk later I have to go fill a diaper so I can return fire okay Des lighting everybody be safe [Music]