I was going to give up cycling and Youtube…

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So good morning hola uh today I I’m not cycling we’ve got a quite a big ride tomorrow Val the tears today’s video I wanted to share something that I’ve not really talked about before I’ve mentioned it briefly um but it was the reason why I I’ve never actually told you this I

Thought I was going to end up stopping cycling and stopping YouTube I’m heading to the beach I’m actually walking I’ll be honest with you I’m actually walking way but the sun’s too bright so I’m having to walk this way to film it so that the sun’s not like glaring in my

Eyes so I want to turn around and actually go the way I’m going things we do for YouTube how pretty is this I’m about to go on that beach but I thought I would sit here in the shade and chat to you before I actually go and sit on the beach where it’s going to be way too bright to film anything this time last

Year I was in Grand Canary I stayed here for a month and basically that was the point that I thought is like the end of my cycling now um am I going to have to give up YouTube because basically I just didn’t enjoy it anymore and I don’t know what

It well I’ll tell you what it was um but that was like the culmination point of me being here was because I didn’t get up early like I would normally do to go out riding I just wanted to stay in bed I didn’t not stay in bed all day but I

Just didn’t want to get up and ride like I would normally like I have been this trip I’ve been on YouTube it’s 10 years this year and although it’s not been as intense for those 10 years probably the last probably since lockdown I really upped how many videos I was doing I was

Trying to make the videos better quality I wanted them to be more interesting I was trying to get more variety so doing like gravel and road as well and then training for those events and things that I wanted to do and actually let me just interject this by saying I’m so

Grateful for this as a job but I’m just wanted to share like my experience I guess because I think it can help some of you sorry it’s a bit windy yeah I’ve just been doing it for a long time and I do it on my own and again I’m not saying

This to be like oh poor me I know this is a very privileged job it’s an amazing job and I love it and I wouldn’t want to change it for the world genuinely I absolutely love it but I do everything myself so I film I edit I plan I do all

The invoic and I do contracts I do I think there’s a lot that you don’t necessarily see on YouTube you think oh it’s just shooking up a camera putting a video on and that’s it but there I feel there’s a lot more to it that I guess doesn’t really get shown

So I was trying to do all that and it’s just like and also just having a life outside of YouTube as well so like having a social life being um like with my family relationships friends like it’s just it felt like it was a lot and

How I look back on it now I just felt and this is maybe like warning signs for you if you are doing a lot I just felt highly stressed for long periods of time and I felt like I never had any free time that I would was always doing

Something so I was either always riding I was always training I was always editing I was always filming or I was always coming up with the next video idea or I was sorting out contracts or talking to brands or I just felt like I never had any downtime and because

Cycling was my hobby before it became my job I felt like I never had any time away from that and it definitely took its toll yeah and it was this time last year that I realized I was like wow this is this is not good like what is going

On and even when I was here I was like normally I’m someone that gets up I wants to get up early like I’m I’m I’m an early bird um I like getting up early and doing things and I just didn’t and it felt all all I

Can describe it is is do you know when you’ve had like a really busy week at work say for example and you want the weekend just to like recharge and have a good sleep in and then you by Monday you just feel better again you’re like right I’m ready to go

Again no matter how much sleep or time off from videos I had it just wouldn’t go away I just felt drained and I felt like I wasn’t enjoying and it actually really upset me because I I wasn’t enjoying the things that had always made me happy

Because in the past if I’d had like a tough time i’ thought I’ll just go to bite I go like a little Adventure but that wasn’t working anymore and I was like and I genuinely thought like is this it because I’ve been doing YouTube and cycling for so

Long have I done everything that I wanted to do with it is this just not a thing that I want to do anymore and it really worried me cuz I like I love Cy I was like I don’t want to have worn out it’s all like exhausted my cycling my love of cycling

And Adventures and filming and this being my job and I was genuinely thinking like maybe I’m going to have to look at maybe doing something else what else would I want to do and yeah it was this time last year and so it’s just it just reminded me of how different those

Years have been because now this year I’m like I want to get up early I want to do all the big rides I’m just so excited about again and almost feel like just as an example last year I did two ooes I love Odo I love long distance and

Last year I just did two I was just so drained and so exhausted and so what I would say for any of you that are in a position now because and this is a thing it doesn’t matter what job it is I love my job this is not anything to do with

That I don’t I love filming I love riding my bike well I didn’t for a period of time I was struggling with it um well that sounds really dramatic not struggling with it but I just didn’t love it as much as I had done it can be

Any job if you overwork yourself too much in any job even if if you love your job there is potential that you’re going to get burnt out from it so what I would say the warning signs were just not loving the same things or enjoying the

Same things that you had done in the past if you are just constantly on like a level of anxiety or stress or just not having I think the main thing for me was just not having any downtime to like decompress from it I managed to start

Doing that I think it’s because I I think that was the problem because I love my job too much but I loved it I wanted to do the best of it and I wanted to make the best videos and go on the best rides and share like information

And things that I’ve learned with you it’s almost like the detriment of it because it just burnt me out and so I’m making it a priority to rest and that is why I’m doing this video today I’m going going sit on the beach I’m reading a book actually I’ll show it you called

Nutrition and athletic performance by Doug Graham um and in it do you like when you just read something and it just makes more sense than anything has done before cuz I I knew I needed rest like friends and family and people telling me to rest and in it it says rest is an

Activity a valuable Pastime and should be respected as such and I’ve never prioritized rest has been an activity in itself it’s always been rest has always been whatever’s left at the end of the day after I’ve done all the stuff that I need to it wasn’t a thing that I

Actually focused on so now I’m actually planning in time to actually to not do anything B related to not film to not edit and it just took quite a while to do that so I’m like I’m so excited now though because I have got that excitement back for cycling I have got

That excitement back for filming and doing things and I just needed to find a better balance for it and I hope that has helped any of you that are in a similar situation and so I just took more time out as you’ll notice that I’ve not filmed I didn’t film anything for

Quite a while last year towards the end of last year um but now I I feel like I’ve had a full on when you wake up and you’ve had a really good sleep and you’re like H I am just ready to go that’s how I feel now and I’m so excited

Just to film way more stuff this year and I just want to say thank you as well just for like sticking with me even though I had a bit of time off and thank you for watching the videos and thank you for your lovely comments and just being there and being kind supportive

And lovely and nice to me hello right I’ve just been SED thinking about what I’ve said in the video and I don’t ever want it to come across like ironic that that like I was complaining that like oh I’m just so busy and stressed and then I do get time

To go away and on holidays and have time now to go on the beach but I am prioritizing this if I wasn’t in glan canera I would be relaxed and having down time doing other things I’ve actually got a bikini on it doesn’t look like I’ve got one look like I’m naked on

This Beech but I’m not um and so yeah like with the holidays and stuff and things when I’m away they all work like I don’t ever not take my bike or not film when I’m away um this trip I am I’m going to have um a week off you’re not

Going to know this um because I’m filming extra stuff this week to go out next week um so yeah I just I just think that I guess YouTube and content creation I guess it’s different for everyone but like for me like I spend more time than I ever did in a full-time job

Because it’s all on me and I want it to be good and I want it to be interested and I want to do the best I possibly possibly can I’m going to go and read my book for a bit and enjoy this beach okay all right see you next video bye bye bye

Bye bye bye bye