WEEKLY VLOG: early 20s struggles, valentine’s day, trader joe’s haul, lack of motivation, hair care

WEEKLY VLOG: early 20s struggles, valentine’s day, trader joe’s haul, lack of motivation, hair care

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Today is a day for nosy People hey guys it’s ke and welcome back to my channel welcome to a weekly Vlog I have some food in the microwave it’s going to be hot I need to let this cool down here’s the thing that’s going on right now I am actually shaking like my

Whole body is shaking because I drink energy drink on an empty stomach cuz I have no food cuz I didn’t go grocery shopping this weekend this past weekend was the Super Bowl it was also the Waste Management Phoenix Open which is a golf tournament in Arizona if I’m talking

Really fast it’s cuz there’s a lot of caffeine in me and that’s why I need to eat something I’m hoping that will like calm the caffeine down I’m not usually a big caffeine drinker so whenever I do drink caffeine and like it was a lot and on an empty stomach essentially what I’m

Trying to say here is I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack not really but I feel like I’m almost living like out of my body like I’m having like an out of- Body Experience like I’ve been on calls all morning for work and I just

Like don’t feel like mentally I’m there we’re going to try this food this is the green chili chicken bowl from Trader Joe’s frozen meal it was the only thing I have to eat so of course like I’m going to eat it I didn’t have time to go grocery shopping this week because I

Have to recap it but first I need to eat everyone was saying this was really good too I posted a Tik Tok haul when I bought this and everyone was like this is amazing it actually is pretty good I will give them that it really good this

Gets four stars for me I would order this again or like pick this up the grocery store again but I didn’t really sleep much this weekend because I just had back to back to back plans I did film a little Tik Tok Vlog if you guys

Are curious about it go check out my Tik Tok there was this golf tournament my friend ran a marathon so I woke up really early to go watch her run the marathon immediately got ready went to the pregame we were at this golf tournament all day and then we went out

At night and then the next day Super Bowl out really late hung over woken up this morning I’ve been really trying to live life in my 20s my early 20s to the fullest which means I’m constantly tired that is where we’re at this is kind of

Like a weird start to Vlog it’s noon right now it’s 12:33 p.m. because I I’ve just had meetings all morning but I’m working from home today this is really good just trying to eat some food so I can survive I do want to fully recap

This weekend for you guys I kind of like go in more I have a bunch of cleaning that I need to do because I like really didn’t clean at all I feel like this weekend I put off every single thing that I need to do this morning when I

Woke up I immediately were like making a thumbnail and like putting the links for my video that was going to go up like in an hour 2 hours cuz I didn’t do it over the weekend like I just didn’t prep at all this weekend which kind of stresses

Me out for today and the caffeine on top of it making my anxiety a lot this is a really weird start to this video I just don’t even feel like I’m like living inside of my body right now I feel like I’m living outside my body I really

Didn’t clean my apartment this weekend I did a Sunday reset but I actually did that on Friday instead of doing it on Sunday because of the Super Bowl so I haven’t cleaned my apartment all weekend and it’s a mess so let me show it to guys I’m still on my little lunch break

Right now so I’m going to like do all my dishes and hopefully be able to pick up all of this also waste management was so muddy cuz it rained look at my shoes do you guys see this disgusting I want to like rinse them off like soak them more

Than rinse them off I want to give them a bath I also have my favorite pair of like pants look like that so I’m really scared that the mud’s not going to come out or it’s going to stain I don’t think mud stains but I guess we will find out

Over here me trying to figure out what I wanted to wear I bought a bunch of different options and so this was everything that I was like possibly going to wear so I need to go through this as well it’s just everything’s a mess I also did my laundry but I didn’t

Put it away so it’s probably all wrinkled so I might throw it back in to kind of like fluff it all up my bed is also like a mess and we don’t even want to talk about my pile of clothes in my closet I always think about this like I

Am one person and imagine if I had family like children and a husband I can’t imagine how messy it would get I don’t know how like I can barely manage this for myself I don’t know how people do with children moms are amazing I don’t know how they do it literally like

Superhuman people not real cuz there’s no way that I would able to do this but maybe you know if I’m a mom maybe I wouldn’t be partying all weekend but still Superheroes Oh I just realized that I forgot my reusable bag I was going to I’m going to go grocery shopping and I just realized I forgot my bag but I don’t want to go back up cuz I don’t have that much time but we’re going to go to Trader Joe’s

Because we haven’t gone in a while we need did groceries also I have my sign 1 2 3 let’s run [ __ ] that I made for my friend for her Marathon that I was like holding up we’re going to head off to Trader Joe’s really quickly Apologies that you can hear my dishwasher but I have a Trader Joe’s haul for you here’s what we got I love the chicken wrap all these like little pre-made things from Trader Joe are expensive I probably don’t need something pre-made like I could make it but I’ve been talking about recently how

I haven’t been bringing food to work like lunch to work I’ve been getting really laded and like all this stuff from and it’s just like affecting my brain functioning and I need to start bringing lunch and I didn’t prep anything over the weekend so I was kind

Of worried about it so I was like okay this is like a nice lunch that I can bring like right away I don’t have to plan anything out but for the rest of week I want to make stuff I also got my tried andrue the everything Bagels I

Think this is the best food on planet Earth I do think that I’m going to make that Crock-Pot chicken with the marinara sauce again cuz it’s just it’s good it’s easy that’s what I can break for lunch for the rest of the day so I think I’m

Going to prep that now after I also got some Sriracha because I ran out last night last night I was drunk I came home I made myself a bag of the Trader Joe’s jasmine rice and then I used mayo and sriracha and that was my drunk snack cuz

That was the only food I had here great drunk snack I also got two of these frozen meals which I also think these are overpriced however it was really convenient today when I had no food so I’m like okay out of convenience it’s nice to just have these in my freezer so

I have the green chili chicken bowl which is what I had today for lunch which I thought was delicious and then I’ve also tried the orange chicken before and I thought that was really good so these are just super nice convenient overpriced yes but whatever and I also have some salmon and then

Some chicken breast and that’s everything that I got honestly really weird haul I want to start getting snacks so I don’t know like what snacks from Trader Joe’s to get that are like healthy and I also feel like Trader Joe’s is just not like a snack kind of

Store I don’t know why I just feel like they never have snacks so I feel like I never eat snacks but then I get really hungry I’m like what’s going on so anyways I do have some food left over kind of like I have a chicken breast

Left over and then I have some broccoli left over from last week but I am going to make the marinara Crock-Pot chicken which is just a chicken breast sliced in the colets and then half a jar of marinara sauce on low for like 4 hours that’s what I’ve been doing and I really

Like it so I’m going to make it after I put all this stuff Away set a timer for 4 hours also I meant High not low so high for like 3 to 4 hours and then just really easy and then I shred it when it’s done so easy so simple okay now it is time for our meeting let’s do it I’ve been sitting at

My desk that I get ready in the morning and I really like working here a lot more than I thought I was going to I would like to have an office but that’s expensive to have an extra bedroom so this little desk in my bedroom works

Perfectly fine I just had a meeting that was supposed to be half an hour long and it was like 2 and 1/2 hours long so I’m pretty tired now I feel very exhausted I like need energy but that caffeine this morning really was way too much for me

So that’s just not something we can keep doing I did it and I knew it was not going to look good or not going to look good but just not going to be good also I self taned using the S Trope self tanner was my first time ever using it

If you watch my last Vlog you guys saw I was really the only one available I love it I feel like it looks so natural I like the color I’m like no wonder this thing is so expensive I have Pilates tonight I’m going to leave about an hour

My friend canceled so I’m just going to go alone which is going to be fine I’m so tired from today I have so much I need to do as well it’s all good life is good we’re all fine we’re we’re all good I want to look at the chicken and how

That’s doing let’s walk over there and see how my crockpot chicken is doing oh perfect it looks like it will be done like right before I leave for Pilates which I typically like to just put it on the warm setting so o hot hot hot don’t

Ow ow don’t burn yourself like me but low and high cook it warms keeps it warm so I’ll probably just eat it for dinner tonight that’ll be so nice obviously I got that salmon which I’ll probably marinade after so I can have it but my fridge is looking very bare right now

It’s slightly sad I also need to respond to your guys’s comments from my video today I have like a lot of things I need to do today I also need to go through all of this stuff and figure out what I want to return and what I want to keep

Most of it I’m returning it lots to Do I just got out of my pilates class my leg are literally shaking I don’t know if I’m getting better which I hope it is but they’re not as hard as they used to be but I was told like the better you are at Pilates the harder it is because

You’re like pushing yourself more and you’re doing things like slower and more controlled which makes it more hard harder I don’t know but I do feel myself improving on things like there were times when I would normally have to take breaks that I’m not having to take

Breaks on and things like that so feel really happy today I honestly just feel very low vibrational it’s a low Vibe day on the way here I just drove here with no music on in silence and that’s how I feel and I haven’t felt this way in a

Really long time normally there’s like thoughts in my head I feel like today I just like my brain hasn’t had thoughts in it the world just feels quiet and I feel like I haven’t felt that way in a long time which is a good thing cuz I

Don’t like feeling this way but yeah my legs are shaking from Bates going to go home we’re going to make some Dinner happy Tuesday oh that was the first time I’ve spoken today my voice just cracked happy Tuesday everybody this is me getting ready for the day obviously this is the first time in months if not over a year that I’ve looked at my skin and been like my skin

Is clear like I still have some breakouts here but like when I look at my skin I’m like my skin is clear which I wish you could tell that to me 6 months ago cuz I wouldn’t have believed you shout out Accutane oh my God also as

I shout out acutane another side effect from acutane that I’ve been noticing I know that everyone always talks about joint pain and I never understood that I was like oh I like I don’t get joint like I just I don’t think I’m like aware enough about how my body is functioning

To really understand how Accutane is affecting me if I’m being honest I never took Anatomy or anything like that I took physics so I I don’t really understand parts of the body I probably should have but every time I like bend my fingers they pop like if I don’t bend

Them every minute or so they all pop and so my fingers are popping like 55 times an hour every time I do anything it’s like it’s a little excessive it’s a little much that is a side effect and apparently that’s a joint thing cuz like I said I don’t really know bodyless

Stuff well but I was told that’s a joint thing and I was told I should take Omega-3s so I will be oh gosh you know when you drink water and you can like feel it go down your body that’s just what happened normally I like that

Feeling but that kind of shocks me one of the best purchases I’ve ever made was this bodysuit it’s from Amazon I wear it multiple times a week if not just once a week but I wear it every single week it is just it’s so soft it’s so flattering

It’s so comfortable I really like it I wear it all the time I think I want to wear my chunky belt from Amazon today because I wore this outfit with like a short sleeve the other week and I just really liked it I feel like the belt

Does a lot these jeans are from ABY they’re honestly like the only jeans that I have no actually I take it back but these are really the only jeans I wear to work that don’t have holes in them so other jeans that have holes in them I don’t wear to work obviously duh

Honestly I do make my belt pretty loose cuz these jeans fit me well so I don’t really need it for it to cinch my waist and it’s just kind of for decor and I used to never be a belt girly but look at me now also I’m debating if I want to

Keep my hair kind of I mean it’s kind of curly so I kind of want to keep it but I also have a little claw clip that I could use also my morning meeting got cancelled so I’m like I’m in no rush today like I don’t need to be there at a

Certain time which normally I’m rushing I also have some to-do list orders that came through in the night that I need to package up and then ship out on my way to work if you guys ever order a to-do list I have the link in my bio but I’m

The one who packages all of them I I’m the one who does everything honestly my hair recently has been so staticky every time I brush it and I thought it was my hair brushes but my friend let me use one of hers and my hair also got

Staticky when I brushed it so I was like what is that about okay I don’t know if I like like this cuz like this side of my hair is much curlier than this side of my hair so we might we might claw clip it I got these claw Clips recently

I forgot who this is from I need to go through cuz this was sent to me in PR when something is sent to me in PR I like I have to like really make an effort to remember where it’s from cuz like I want to say thank you and

Everything they sent me other things that I need to go through and look at so I’ll do that tonight hopefully and I’ll be able to find the name for it but it’s a huge claw clip it’s like the biggest one I own and I like it going to take

Down some little framing pieces what do I think about this is this like messy looking honestly I feel like this clo CP might be too big like I just don’t have a lot of hair so think maybe I need like a smaller one this one is from Amazon

But that feels more secure okay we’re going to do some earrings these little Amazon Hoops you guys know my favorite if you’ve been watching me for Anytime I’ve been wearing these hoops since I was like Junior in college and I’m in love with them I used to never wear

Earrings either I actually have my doubles pierced but I think one of the holes like kind of closed up and I don’t know if I need to get it repierced or if I can just like use an earring a really strong earring and poke it through but

That does sound painful and one thing about me is I cannot sleep with earrings in because it just it hurts too much like the little poking of it I can’t do it like I just can’t sleep at night if I do it so I don’t like the way the hair

Looks see this is what happens when I have time I have time to redo my hair a million times I’m thinking half up half down AOW of bow I see tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I really wanted to add a bow for Valentine’s Day but maybe

I’ll just do it both days in a row we can bow every day of the week I finally found my little brush I don’t know if that made it worse or better possibly worse I wish I had do you know that day styling cream I’ve never owned that but

I want to cuz my hair it does its own thing what if I wet it cuz there’s just like a little piece that wants to stick up but if I wet it will it stay down or will it pop back up once it dries I

Guess we’ll find out I’m going to do a pink bow my little pink bow that I’m doing and I try to catch that hair oh is it cute I can’t tell I think it’s cute right we’re going with it this piece of hair is bothering me though but I’ll

Just I’ll deal with it no one’s going to care I think I might put an oil in my hair to make it less frizzy this is the Olex oil I’ve had this for years and I’m almost out of it like this thing is almost gone if anyone has like a hair

Oil that they recommend I obviously have the meel hair oil but that’s more like a scalp hair growth oil not like an oils make your hair less frizzy oh okay I might bobby pin these side pieces because they’re already falling and I don’t want that to happen ow ow ow I

Have my suitcase there because I wanted to see if my like puffer coat was in there it wasn’t but I still haven’t put it back up yet cuz I’m lazy okay what do we think and now I need to eat breakfast I just finished up with work for the day and now we are heading home home I had a really good day I feel like I’m like losing my voice or something this is actually really funny I was in a teams chat and I was helping somebody who

Wasn’t on my team and people who were in my team were in this chat as well on teams and the person who was in my team was like can I steal you for my team and then everybody who was on my team was like No And they were like fake fighting

And I was like I know this is clearly a joke but like it felt great I just feel like I did a good job today like this is like this is a really good feeling just in every aspect I feel like I did good today so I’m like Yay normally I feel

Like I like mess up something or like I’m still learning I haven’t been doing this job for so much that there’s still some things like writing copy for things like knowing like the right tone of voice like sometimes it just takes practice and time to like get to know

The right tone and I just feel like everything I did today I did it right this is such a good day okay now we’re going to go home and I wonder if it’s because actually today I did bring lunch and I wonder if that’s because I

Like had the brain power to do a good job because I had food in my system I don’t know tomorrow they’re catering lunch which I’m really excited about great day so far you guys oh it’s dark I just got done with therapy I’m going to throw these pink

Pants into my washing machine I’m a little worried because I wore them to the Phoenix Open which is like Waste Management golf tournament it’s a golf tournament thrown by waste management and it was really muddy and so these are stained with mud everywhere and I really want to wear these tomorrow but I’m

Afraid they’re going to be stained so I’m going to wash them now I want to wear them tomorrow cuz tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I wanted to wear pink like I want to go cute for Valentine’s Day I want to dress the them so I have to make sure these are like

Professional I’m really afraid that the mud permanently stain them I don’t think mud permanently stains but I tried washing them with just water like rinsing out the mud and I don’t know if I just waited too long to do it I need to throw something else in there we’re

Going to throw my dish towels in there as well but fingers crossed and then I’m going to air dry them so they don’t stain you know I feel like there has to be like some things in the washing machine you know I’m just going to do a

Towel cool I’ll do this towel and we’ll throw it in there and then it will wash while I’m that Pilates and then I can air dry it but I’m just so scared that they stained please don’t stain is there like a stained option normally there’s

Like a how stained is it is this heavy this is like the stains right okay we’re going to just try this wish me luck Guys good morning everyone and Happy Valentine’s Day clearly I dressed the part if I’m being honest I’m a little insecure that it’s a little a little too much and I’ve almost changed my outfit a few times but I decided I’m sticking with it I also I we’re bowing out all

Week this is a bow type of week I also ordered some more bows tomorrow or actually they’re coming tomorrow or they’re coming today I ordered them yesterday aside the point today’s Valentine’s Day and I love Valentine’s Day I was filming a little get ready with me for Tik Tok if you don’t follow

Me on there do it ha but I was talking about how I love Valentine’s Day I just think it’s like the cutest holiday ever it celebrates the idea of love two people being in love with each other is adorable and whether you have a valentine or not it’s like cute to be

Happy for other people who are in love also on a slightly I don’t want to say bitter note but maybe like a hater note I was also talking about this I get ready with me I try not to repeat myself between content sometimes it’s hard but I do feel very passionate about this

Topic okay and that’s why I’m repeating myself I love when couples post little paragraphs for like Valentine’s Day their anniversary birthday it really gives you the status of their relationship it’s the stalker in me and I know it’s bad like I’m not really booting on the downfall of anyone’s

Relationship don’t get me wrong all I’m doing is thoroughly enjoying finding out if people are still together if they broke up and then the couple that posted paragraphs about the ups and downs and highs and lows of being together you know the type I live for that stuff I’m

So nosy I just I love it like thank you to the people who do that for me I can’t wait to check on everyone’s relationship status today today is a day for nosy people and just like that I’m home from work I will say a lot of people were

Wearing pink which made me feel better I went all out you know like I think I went the most but a lot of people were wearing pink it made me feel better I got a lot of compliments on my outfit which made me feel great also we had

Like a little like lunch in um like a Valentine’s Day lunch thing and I helped set it up I almost caught the whole building on fire yeah the entire office building almost caught on fire cuz of me no kidding but I had like light these little warmer things for the food like

There’s like the trays and under a little flame that keeps it warm and it was sparking and smoking and it really really really scared me and it didn’t catch on fire but I thought I was going to so this is I think what my mom got me

From Valentine’s Day let’s see what it is what is this Bonnie and pop mom what is this a this is so cute mom you shouldn’t have oh Mom you really shouldn’t have it’s a bunch of Chocolat oh my God thank you Mom pretzel Cloud peacan Snappers French chocolate sea salt caramel peanut butter

O we’re going for the peanut butter got chocolate cover pretzels maple cream peanut clusters cookies and see see normally there’s like gross things this looks fire Pooky looks absolutely fire today let’s do this the peanut butter one and you guys know I love peanut butter and

Chocolate M thank you so much Mom I’m going to text her right now thank you for the Valentine’s Day gift bunch of exclamation points I’m a big voice of text Girly okay so a while ago I returned something from Amazon and I just got a notification saying that they

Never got it they’re not refunding me and I’m like what the heck so I need to contact them I hope they refund Me Hello it’s after work right now I feel like this Vlog has been a little bare because there really hasn’t been much stuff going on for me to even talk about like my life is just it’s not going very exciting right now I’m not mad about it

I just feel like eh you know but I do have some packages so I just got home from work and I have an Amazon package and then I ordered something from Tik Tock shop first time ever ordering something from Tik Tok shop I am a little scared but we’ll see how it go

Cuz I wanted to order it on the regular website but it was so much cheaper on Tik Tok shop and I was like okay we’ll see how this goes it said free return so let’s hope it means free return from Amazon I got some hair bows and I got

Some big hair bows one of my co-workers actually told me that she was shopping like online on Target and she saw hair bows and it made her think of me and I was like the people are noticing the hair bows I don’t really care if the hair bows are like unprofessional I

Think they’re so cute so I wanted some like big ones like I wanted some oh these might be way too big I know I said I wanted big ones but these these are Big Boys I don’t know if I want ones that are that big I’ll link these down

Below it was like $5 for a white one and a black one also these clips are a little I don’t know how you use these clips I might return these cuz this is not I’m sure I could figure out the clip but like what the clip is weird how do

You do this is there instructions there’s no instructions I don’t really know what to do here I just wanted like some cute bows but I’m I’m thinking these might be like too big I feel like I’ve been contradicting myself a l I’m like oh I don’t care I’m professional

I’m afraid this is like a little unprofessional the issue is I think this is going to be like longer than my actual hair so I do like a little half up like this and I putp it here is it longer than my hair is right I the issue

Is I can’t see cuz it’s where’s the B maybe not okay maybe potential I can’t see it but the issue is I don’t know how to open this it doesn’t say you would think it’s just like oh no I don’t want to break it so I might return these I

Don’t know also got some trousers they’re from halara I’ve been see a ton of Tik Tok ads and I was like [ __ ] it I’m going to buy it it came faster than it said it was going to so these are essentially browers but they have a stretchy waist and I’m a little worried

That I got a size too big because I got them medium and typically I’m a medium but I’m like with the stretchiness sometimes I could be a small one okay these are very soft very nice as is like very nice quality maybe these might for

Me I feel like these might but they have a stretchy waist and so it just like I just want it to be like more comfortable cuz I’m sitting all day so you know you don’t have like a zipper and a button I am very curious about these hair clips

Should I look on the website maybe there’s on Amazon maybe they have instructions on how to clip your hair I don’t know I feel stupid oh okay maybe there are instructions okay we’re watching these they just open that so easily like like wait do it again oh

Okay so maybe oh I just knocked something in my maybe you just oh okay and then do you just yeah okay got it got it let’s try this hair toe hair toe you just yeah just okay see I needed the instructions cuz I would have never

Figured that out on my own I want to try in the pants and put the hair bow in that’s what we’re doing today that’s priorities I’m not that talented at a half up half down yet yet being the keyword practice makes perfect so I always have to use like a little elastic

But I think I’m going to use a scrunchy today because this is like a bigger bow so I don’t think I’ll need anything like too crazy big you know I mean maybe not we’ll see I’m afraid it’s going to be like a little much scrunchie as in I

Always say this but I kind of want to get like the day styling cream or something just to kind of help lay the bumpy Parts down cuz I feel like they are just so bumpy okay ready how do I do this wait I’m like huh okay I don’t know

If I know what I’m doing is it cute oh you can definitely kind of see it from the front which like honestly is kind of what I wanted now I’m like you know see do you ever have like an idea of something in your head and then you’re

Like am I second guessing it okay this is what it looks like I have no idea if it looks cute or not I’m going to go run and get my phone we’re going to figure it out also you guys might think I’m gross for this which is like so valid

Wait I think I kind of like it no I kind of like it it’s like big but like cute I feel like a little girl but like in the best way you guys might think I’m gross for this which is you know whatever I haven’t washed my hair since Friday

Night or may no maybe Saturday morning because my Accutane I put some dry shampoo in and I’ve showered every day since so like it’s not like I’m not showering I’m just not washing my hair but like it’s so nice cuz it’s just convenient maybe that’s why it’s kind of

Been staticky CU it’s like not freshly washed [ __ ] strands are out these are [ __ ] strands if you don’t know apparently that’s what they’re called that’s what Tik Tok told me is what they’re called yeah kind of cute okay now next up we’re going to try on the

Pants Z pants this is them this doesn’t have the best lighting so let me go to my other mirror the issue is I don’t have a full length mirror over here that has good lighting okay I like them a lot I actually think they fit my waist

Pretty well they don’t have any back pockets they only have front pockets and then there’s not actually like a zipper or button here but there is like a little flap to make it look like it the material it’s very soft it’s like I don’t know how to describe it honestly I

Don’t know if I’ve ever had something that’s this material it’s like kind of stretchy but it’s like the outside material is different than the inside it does smell like you know if you shop at those cheaper stores like Sheen or something it kind of smells like when

You would get something in the mail it also has belt shrp so if I want to wear a belt with it I actually like it I’m not mad about it what do we think what do we think I think I’m going to keep them I’m curious to see how they look

Like with a bodysuit or something cuz like I don’t know but I do I do like it so yeah I’m keeping them so far success this little trip not trip this little haul hair bow trousers th driving I also have a huge bag of returns this bag is

All of Amazon returns from stuff from Waste Management last weekend that I ended up not liking and needing to return I always tell myself that if I don’t like something I can just return it but then I’m like oh my God I don’t want to return this but I do I will not

Keep something if I don’t like it I’m really big about that also let’s have a talk you’re not in trouble whenever someone would be like let’s talk I’m like what did I do wrong what am I in trouble for oh my God like am I in

Trouble like what did I do no one did anything wrong the only person that did anything wrong was me I feel like I’ve touched on this in a couple of my Vlogs Maybe this Vlog maybe in the last Vlog but like I’ve just been feeling so unmotivated recently that last month I

Was just getting [ __ ] done I was accomplishing all my goals doing everything I told myself I was going to this month so far and like we’re halfway done with this month like it is February 15th now I have not wanted to do anything I haven’t wanted to run walks I

Haven’t wanted to go to the gym I haven’t been wanting to drink gon of water today I haven’t been wanting to achieve anything the mindset that I had in January where did that go I don’t know if I just overdid it which honestly is probably what happened but I’m like

How do I get back to a neutral State cuz like I got home to today and I have dinner plans with my friends we’re doing like a little galentine’s Day dinner I totally could go to the gym before we go but I’m sitting here scrolling on Tik

Tok laying in my bed rotting all I’ve been wanting to do is just rot in my bed recently that’s all I’ve been wanting to do I have been posting more on Tik Tok which like I’m proud of myself for that but at the same time there’s so many

Other goals that I want to accomplish like I want fitness goals I want health goals I want to be not eating out as much I want to like there’s just so many things that I’m like I want to accomplish this and I’m just not and It’s upsetting me that I’m not doing it

My Apple watch just died cuz I forgot to charge it last night so I’ve been feeling very frustrated with myself and I find that the more frustrated I get the less likely I am to actually do anything about it too which is also the worst part about it we’re working on

That I’m hoping that maybe this weekend or next week I can just kind of put myself in the right mindset I do think how this past week and how I was saying was just like honestly like back toback partying and like drinking and like go

Go go it didn’t really set me up for Success this week I really struggle with this concept and I feel like this is a flawed way of thinking but it is the way that I’m thinking I feel like right now my my life for the first time ever I

Living the way that I should at my age I feel like before I was always feeling like I wasn’t doing the things that I can only do at this age I don’t know if this makes any sense and I feel like saying it out loud doesn’t make any

Sense and I’m kind of like backtracking from it cuz I feel like it doesn’t make any sense but before I feel like when you’re in college people go out and party a ton and they you know do all these crazy things I didn’t do any of those things because I was in a

Long-term relationship I was doing YouTube like I didn’t have the free time to really be parting and doing that stuff and now that I like can do that and not that I’m like partying going crazy like I go out and drink once twice Max a week and I don’t ever like black

Out or anything but like you know like staying out till midnight type of thing and I know this is flawed thinking but in my head I’m like this is what I should be doing in my early 20s and this is really going to be the only time in

My life left that I can do this maybe my mid 20s maybe my late 20s but who knows where I’ll be and I feel like I’m just getting stuck between I’m trying to like live my youth to its fullest while also trying to like grow and Achieve I feel

Like it’s such flawed thinking I keep saying this over and over that I feel like it’s flawed thinking it doesn’t make any sense and it’s so contradictory of it and I know like in my head that it’s not true but at the same time I

Feel like it’s true I feel like I have to jump on these like social opportunities and things like that that like 10 years from now I’ll be like laughing about and like still remember and telling stories but then I get upset with myself for doing those and not like

Achieving my like Health Fitness personal development goals but then if I do these I’m like oh I’m like missing out on this I feel like no matter what I do I’m missing out on something and I feel like for a really long period of my

Time I was kind of focusing on this over here of like career personal blah blah blah and not so much like this like social experience type of experience in my life and I want this and I want this and I feel like right now it’s hard to

Have both the same time cuz there’s only so many hours in the day well also and I feel like this part of my life is kind of causing me to want to do absolutely nothing when I’m not being social like I just want like rot and be to myself

Which is making me put off these goals I don’t know if this makes any sense I feel like it doesn’t I just feel like I’ve really been struggling and getting upset with myself about it and I need to not but it’s so much easier said like

It’s so easy like don’t be upset but like okay okay I’m not upset anymore you know it’s like when you’re overthinking and someone’s like just don’t think about it you’re like I’m cured thank you so much why did I think of that so I think that’s kind of the crossroads that

I’m at that I feel like for the first time in my life I’m having these experiences that people my age have but I feel like it’s forcing me to give up something else and it’s trying to find the balance of both and I just feel like I haven’t been able to balance both

While also being able to like relax and enjoy my life so hopefully I’ve chilled enough this week tomorrow I really want to start in going back and getting into my goals I think that I want to fill up my gallon water bottle or my half gallon

Water bottle right now cuz I think when I see that half gallon water bottle it kind of like clicks something in my head of like you need to start doing your goals like my goal spreadsheet that I have I haven’t even like checked any of them off really I have honestly been

Forgetting to check it off and last month I was so on top of it I just think I maybe went to extreme last month I don’t know but I want I just I feel like I’m constantly in a cycle of going extreme to extremes like I’m doing everything that I’m doing nothing then

I’m doing everything then doing nothing and I kind of want to be in the Middle where it’s like I’m doing something but I’m also balancing in my life cuz it’s better to do something than to do everything than do nothing I feel like this has been like a constant theme in

My life recently just going too high too low too high too low I need to charge my Apple watch I keep like trying to turn it on but it’s it’s dead but tonight I have dinner plans with my friends like I said we’re going to get sushi I’m

Actually really full like I don’t think I want sushi my work catered lunch yesterday and they had leftover so I was eating the leftovers for lunch cuz I was like free lunch 2 days in a row don’t mind if I do but now I’m really full

From that also oh I’m so I just realized I have Monday off next week cuz it’s president day I believe and so I think that I really want to take Monday as an extra reset day like a day of like just a mean day where I just really focus on

Kind of getting back into the swing of things I think that will be good I feel like there really needs to be a 3-day weekend if I’m being honest here just saying it would solve all of my problems personally like I feel like I need two Sundays I feel like whenever I’m feeling a little overwhelmed the way that I’m feeling and when I I want to be more organized and stay on top of my goals is really making my to-do list so I don’t know if you guys can see I have all my

To-do lists all of them but one three to-do list here finishing out planning this week I want to plan Sunday to be a super productive day and then planning out next week as well this just always gets me in like the right mindset and it

Just helps me like know what I need to do when I need to do it and like stick to it when it’s written down I did write down the stuff that I want to do this week but I feel like I haven’t been paying attention to my to-do list I

Filled out one for a Sunday as well I just feel like this helps me so much just in a mental state to I’ll link these to list down below I actually made them so definitely a self-plug but I made them because I find them so helpful

To me I got my video back from my editor hello to you editing this he rough cuts my videos and then I go on top and like edit take things out or make the montages and music and text and just things like that so I need to do that

Don’t really want to I just don’t feel like I have the motivation here I am back with my lack of motivation but it’s okay and then I’m just uploading some files as well just doing some like YouTube admin stuff I’ve just been like rotting in bed so much lately that I

Need to not I need to just get back into the swing of doing things and I think that’s my issue is when I rot for too long I kind of get out of my groove and my motion of working the way that I work

And I think that I need to go back to it it always takes some time to get back but we’re we’re back we’re back we’re fine it’s going to be fine this I just messed this up great no I didn’t I think I got it did I I’m uploading files from

This video into my hard drive to send to my editor oh I need to put that on my to-do list send him the clips once I’m done filming this video okay we’re getting somewhere you Guys happy Friday everybody I haven’t wash my hair in a while I think I was talking about that and so I want to do all my hair stuff we are going to Hair Oil my Neil hair oil which helps I kind of grow out my hair I don’t want my hair

To be long lengthwise I want it to be Fuller so I’m trying to grow out like my little baby hairs and it has grown out my baby hairs so much is that not insane that used to be like to hear these little baby hairs they’ve grown out so

Much like really thickened out and like full fold out that’s not a word but like kind of filled up my like sparse scalp area that I have and I also think I want do a hair mask I’ve never done this one before so let’s try this one this one is

From Bondi boo how do we use this oh you can just use this instead of conditioner like you use it in place of conditioners this isn’t what I want I want like a deep hair mask I think I’ll use this and a deep hair mask we’re really going to

Go for moisture I just set it in my shower this is a hyaluronic treatment how do we use this where’s the instructions there’s so many words on this there’s not like a how I use okay it’s supposed to be after you shower so I’ll we’re going to go for like a hair

Day we’re just going to go with what I know and that’s Olex number three so in the meantime we’re going to Hair Oil my hair I try to do this every time I wash my hair it doesn’t always work out like that like sometimes I forget but if I

Can I try to do it and I try to focus it kind of on my I think this is called like a Widows Peak area this like area right there and then recently I’ve also been trying to add it kind of like here I’m almost out of this I do have a

Backup though cuz I love it so much I always wor about this product you guys this is one of my favorite products I think I said this before I think this my favorite product that I discovered in 2023 it is incredible I used to be very

Insec I still am kind of about I like a very receding hairline and it’s really filled it out so it’s not as receding anymore and honestly I find that the longer I leave this on the better it works and I know some people are like no

Don’t do that I do it when I was researching hair oils a bunch of people are like no this isn’t going to like work for like your hair type it works just fine and then what I like to do you can use your fingers but I don’t really

Like my fingers getting oily so this is an extra step and add a cost that you don’t need but I have this little shampoo scrubber brush I’ll link it down below I don’t like using this with shampoo in my hair because it just puts my hair into like knots when it’s wet

And like having knots on your scalp is the worst thing to get out ever but I like it for this hair oil I kind of just rub it in until I get bored I will say it like kind of makes my ears hurt like it kind of like rocks my ears doing it

I’m going to brush this out and then what we’re going to do is wet our hair and then add our hair treatment I have this spray bottle so I don’t really want to wet my hair like I don’t want to get get in a shower and like you know drench

My hair you just want damp hair I’ll link the spray bottle down below the Mist is so like fine all that’s in here is just water I originally got this because I thought with the hair oil you needed Rosemary water or something with it but I found that didn’t do anything

Just the oil by itself worked really well it’s so low maintenance and it just makes a huge difference in my opinion you would think they’re sponsoring this by how much I talk about them but like I like invested money into their product I’m going to brush this

Out now we’re going to add in treatment ends to not scalp but like kind of ears is where I like to apply it to the ends is really where it needs it the most cuz just being on acutane and everything it dries out my hair and probably the fact

That I don’t wash it that often probably dries it out a little bit too I also want to like kind of focus it on these front pieces cuz I feel like those front pieces are the ones that get the most damage I just like always me styling

Those okay what do I think I’m deciding if I want to put it in a braid or if I want to put it in a bun I’m thinking I’m going to bun it I read that you can leave the leave-in treatment longer than it says but once it dries is when it

Stops working so as long as it’s still wet it’s still working the more you know I I’m going to do like a two ponytail bun you know cuz I want to go to the gym during my lunch break today why I love working from home cuz I don’t have to

Just like sit in an office during my lunch break I can like clean my apartment or run a quick in end go to the gym feel like it’s like my time is more of my time when I work from home I do like going to the office cuz I do

Like being social and I feel like you know some things are easier in person however I love being home too okay here we are I’m going to wash my hands and and then like make a bagel for Breakfast