Andrej (Kirk Douglas), a smuggler of microfilmed Russian manuscripts, uses the luggage of unsuspecting travellers to transport the contraband out of the country.

    Film: Catch me a spy (1971)
    Studio:The Bryna Company, Ludgate Films, Capitole Films, Les Films de la Pléiade
    Director: Dick Clement
    Writer: Dick Clement, Ian La Frenais
    Cast: Kirk Douglas, Marlène Jobert, Trevor Howard, Tom Courtenay

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    Coming Home [Applause] No no no no give It [Applause] [Applause] ready over here come on P give it to me come [Applause] on Miss he hit me [Applause] First no no no no no kick off kick Off [Applause] N W [Applause] She’s really very pretty lucky fellow thank you what does she teach French French and football uh of course she is French and the uncle’s English yeah she’s lived with him since her parents died they done with him yes don’t know how you got to be a minister well I like

    Him ah the happy couple you look very good together can’t have been unpleasant it’s been fine where’s it all leading where does three month courtship usually H congratulations he wants to marry me last Fabian how could you over 8,000 and a free ball to come who Wants to Marry You John does John

    Fenton Fenton marriage I’m not sure I like the fellow of course you do he’s too what’s the word smooth us like a television commercial I see him riding out of the sea not a hair out of Place smoking a menthal cigarette that’s because he always beats you at this new a England versus

    France the crowd tense with excitement do you love him I don’t know it’s so sudden he attracts me makes me laugh with talk and it’s very good in bed yes yes yes England one France no in bed whose’s bed when my bed tonight but I was having dinner I had guest for

    Dinner the Argentine Ambassador and you were making love just a floor away sh right against the Run of play well here we go now down the wing shoot gold England two France one Fabian you have no defense I know it was always been my [Applause] Trouble good luck SMY where are they going for their honeymoon or or is it a secret no secret Romania he’s got business there or something oh how original gaming a Neu [Applause] Yes CH it looks funny like Paris a long time ago well the food taste of it came from Paris a long time ago Fenton uh Mr and Mrs uh for how long sir for I hope uh no madame I mean for how long just two or 3 days ah Mr fanton

    Welcome back again hello nice to see you what does that mean that means nothing but the best M that’s nice very Sexy and just coming to turn down the beds perfect Timing Waiter coming sir waiter coming sir yes sir we’d like something to drink what can I offer you champagne French Bulgarian there’s nothing sacred I think we’ll just have two of your genuine Romanian Irish coffees but not for 1 hour or two 118 want two copies but there’s no

    Hurry I’m sorry it’s an odd place for a honeymoon as soon as I’ve cleared up this business we’ll go to crto somewhere get some sun it’s a perfect place [Applause] John Fenton what the hell do you want you you are under arrest I want to see the Ambassador good God Almighty you wake the whole damn household I do not to see him it’s my right 2:00 in the morning poing you not live in English you got a

    Fine accent I’m French and also English I demand my right as a French British subject you people barely have the most fightful cheek I suppose you lost your money or your passport or or or or or or you’ve been raped by some Gypsy bis my husband has been arrested by the secret

    Police from hotel we hyon that just bued in middle I do apologize I I didn’t mean to sh at you like that I I was a bit upset myself all that noise at the door I thought being stormed again please let me Ambassador we’re leaving no stone

    Unturned I’m going to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs at once and in London the foreign secretary is sending a note sending a note sending the me your husband has been arrested on charges of Espionage against the Soviet Union my husband that’s what it they claim to have found evidence

    H when can I see him he’s already been taken to Moscow I’m sorry we must get her back to London there’s a plane at noon well I got and it’s see um you um you check in for London over there but actually we’ve got half an hour been very kind please don’t

    Wait I can manage perfectly way all right you sure yes uh well um look um goodbye you know um Good Luck thank you and um thank you yes when’s an explain to Moscow oh there is not one now until this evening this evening how far is it can I run the car

    You cannot dag to Moscow a train then where’s the next train there is one at 3:00 but it’s still quicker to wait for the plane [Applause] good morning Mrs F we met in the hotel oh yes he was a waiter hello it’s a long wait for the Moscow

    Plane sorry to hear about what happened to your husband you speak English very well thank you could I buy a drink oh no thank you got a lot of time come on what does your husband do business imports and exports with the Eastern block mostly drink here Romanian style bring your luck like

    This that’s good is he inocent of course he is sometimes it makes no difference if it’s it’s their purpose let me tell you a story a few years ago they found a mummy in Egypt none of the world’s scientists could agree how old was so the Russians said

    We’ll take it back to Moscow and submit it to a secret test they came back in two days with a full report The Mummy was a man he died of pneumonia at the age of 38 and he was a prune and raisin Merchant everyone was astonish how’d you

    Find out they asked easy said the Russian the mommy made a full confession [Laughter] [Applause] [Applause] where This m is kidnapping me I’ve been draged and kidnapped take no notice well are you taking me please a secret police I suppose please not speak English where are we going are we going to Moscow Moscow I hope not we you back in Manchester at 4:00 are you

    Feeling better Miss we’re just starting our approach to London would you fasten your seat bels please no sign of the moment Mrs John Fenton wife of the British businessman detained by the Russians on charges of Espionage arrived back at he late this afternoon Mrs Fenton was met by her uncle Sir

    Trevor Dawson the shadow foreign secretary there is feeling amongst diplomatic sources the charges against Mr Fenton will be serious is hold in here in the library sir help B them with a luggage and get rid of those bloody press people very good and bring the whiskey with you very

    Good sir I’m sorry but I’m afraid you holdan going be to come my dear this is Commander holdan who’s going to be be a great help to us he’s in a position to haven’t you got a drink got oh Beach did leave you drop did he the commander

    Knows things my dear I should hope so he had of bush intelligence who told you that you you’re not supposed to know that did you tell her I didn’t mention knew God everybody knows it’s supposed to be a closely guarded secret PA’s come a hold I’m going to get my husband back

    Y see only a handful of people know prime minister my wife Mandy she would H how are you going to get my husband back ah well nothing to worry about there John’s arrest is a typical saviet tactic some months ago we arrested an extremely important agent of theirs his name is

    Web amongst others obviously the Russians want him back very badly they’ve offered to exchange him for John you mean all the charges against John well met up quite monstrous but effective if we don’t accept John fled to end up with 15 years you see the Russians are relying on the fact that

    Because John is married to you I used my position to accelerate an exchange which I must say I regard as an insult to my professional Integrity sir but you will pull ups you must do strings strings oh I’ll pull whatever you like but I want John B don’t worry it’s all arranged for

    Next Thursday well he’s here sir can I see oh yes where’s The Wretched Russian I’m BL dark i’ could have been in Berlin now with Hilda careful with that my more whisk is in there there’s my number six my number six and watch my LPS huh I don’t want them

    Scratched Now where’s the sound of music that was for my mother I am not leaving the West without the sound of music please hurry I’ve been waiting for hours you’re the wife yes ah delighted your web one presumes certainly not who told you that oh yes yes of course I am

    Excuse me force of had I’m glad that it is me that brings you and your husband together if it wasn’t for you we wouldn’t have been a part not me my dear lady politics may we get on my feet of freezing yes yes yes now have I got everything ah

    Thank you thank you just a few Souvenirs of Western decadence yeah split this between the two of you let’s get this unbearable man out of here beckyy belongs yes just that I seem to have misled the movement or are you sure you want miss the

    Diadent wor good Lord no at home I shall be a big star they’ll give me me a penchion than go a flat near Red Square girls and a to get to the [Laughter] bull farewell filthy imperialist swine A soon be all [Applause] Ever Unfortunate of course from your point of view But A fitting end wouldn’t you think Reds the ball in off the side how’s you taking it oh quite calmly quite did I disturb your game just relaxing M pressures of the day would any of those pressures have anything to

    Do with my husband we’re leaving no stone un Noone and sending notes anding MOS you Lo to spy so you another like nothing better but we haven’t got one at least no one that important you haven’t got one that’s a disgrace what do you do all day been very quiet recently

    All right if you don’t want prepare to help I’ll find someone myself Fabian there’s no possible way why not I live in the house of a government Minister you go to parties you give receptions I have to do something while you’re sitting in here playing Billiards P John

    Is fishing to death starving to death in some subon prison got a lot of spirit that girl certainly Bugg it up h game there was a certain irony about his death caused by his own greed he’d been corrupted by your Society I could be in London now a nice

    Restaurant and my loving bride eager to make up for lost time don’t think I’m not upset of course I am I’m as upset as you are he was bringing me six bottles of mold whiskey claim Grant well haven’t they got anybody else they could swap for me PTI small fry dispensables what

    Do they do all day they’re very incompetent they only caught we because you got careless he was supposed to be a welder at a missile Factory well what went wrong he was living in a suite at the Hilton so uh Stefan when when do I get

    Home I mean how long are you going to keep me here don’t complain for a man with a 15year sentence you’re very comfortable we don’t even torture you have you seen Russian television John John you came into this with your eyes wide open focused firmly on the £50,000 we’re

    Paying you we’ve had a setback it’s an occupational hazard yes but this isn’t my occupation I’m not a war spy I’m a a corrupt businessman yes what’s your hurry we look after you cigars vodka girls girls h two civil engineers and a discus thrower bronze Medalist I’m not happy faan a third rate champagne I should have to drink the people I’m going to have to meet oh how good you very nice I can’t see how a reception for the Hungarian State MIM and dance company is going to attract Sinister figures from the world ofage Uncle cultural attach

    Ministers of Tourism it’s a wellknown fact they’re all spies happan really and watch out for homosexual I pick up it’s all so welln fact that most people involv in Espionage are homosexual there what I’m not surprised they well in my grandfather’s day they used to horse with homosexuals then they

    Accepted them now they’re fashionable and before long they’ll be compositive champagne cherry or Spirits Victoria I need your excuse us mommy I’ll take care of Heria how wonderful what a wonderful part isn’t it’s perfectly Gastly but you may have saved my evening where’s your George I’m getting sosed somewhere Beach we’re going to slip away I’m going to show you the greenhouse what better

    Time Tomatoes by Moon champagne sir and I don’t care much for this caterer stuff have you got anything in your stolen Reserve Beach firsto 64 I need Russian po Czech Romanian Bulgarian it’s German or Hungarian no Chinese no I wouldn’t think a Chinese if you see someone who looks um suspicious the only person who looks suspicious is your uncle with my mother H keep your eyes open I am for Daddy please Victoria

    Oh really faban the sort of person you’re looking for it’s hardly likely to turn up at your uncle’s party you’re not [Applause] helping close it man an Albanian Miss how can you tell one can always tell an Albanian it must be their Bandit upbringing it’s the way they enter a

    Room taking advantage of the natural cover it’s a li I never touched her even if I did a ple diplomatic immunity please I must no where is the bathroom a lie I never touch who’s in here open the door what are you doing locked in my friend’s

    Bedroom I was waiting for your friend my friend’s downstairs looking for Eastern Europeans who you want Hungarian if it helps yes that’ll do do you work at the embassy or something I’m the naval at a you’ve got one too oh Victoria Victoria you’re not helping if you’ll excuse me where are you going Dy calls thank you Mrs Fon for a lovely party e stop wait a minute I want to talk to you wait no for Victoria I wanted that man I rather did Myself wait uncle uncle did you see him some idiot threw this through the greenhous roof and see this of Me all that but I really don’t see what you can do I know you were say I’m imagining things that we are being followed men like that are always following girls he’s been with us all morning I’ll prove it you go this way and I’ll go that way and we’ll see who

    He follows all right but I’m having lunch at San Lorenzo shall I see you there if I’m not there in half an hour you’ll know what to do yes order your canone N N Got anybody SE it yeah I’ll help yourself haven’t we met somewhere before you are following me in the bark oh God I probably look different for dark glasses I told them I warned them I said don’t p put me on outside jobs don’t put me on following and things like that

    I’ll only make a mess of it see I’m a behind the scenes man I deal in Broad Concepts but I’m not cut out for this outdoor man in a trench coat stuff I catch coals and bicycles knock me over and people put you apparently mhm do you always wear about

    Hot it was part of my disguise it looks ridiculous was you to follow me I can’t tell you that is more than my life’s worth these lips are sealed it was that Hungarian wasn’t it not necessarily are you going to follow me all day I’m supposed to I was just

    Writing my report but you lost me well I’m making it up ah did I have a nice time not bad H I’d never buy shoes there and you miss out lunch may I I’m going to S lenzo okay see you later thank you Wa seora Fanton had a word with the Home Secretary today yeah about that other matter oh did you H any Joy seem quite optimistic two seats Center Court women’s doubles quite optimistic good if you couldn’t get a big spy what about a few little ones oh really Fabian you might just as well put

    An advertisement in the times wanted suspicious looking Eastern European homosexuals no come on we’ll get John back through the normal channels I can’t wait that long I hope she’s not going to do anything foolish don’t worry I put someone on her really you mean some sort

    Of Shadow yes been with her two days now just in case invite him in M into the house Across the Threshold as it were yes but give me a moment to change oh where was a brandy in your room I suppose only because I’ve been dusting the decanter Mom oh of course Mrs Fenton will receive you upstairs sir third floor should I take your pant sir I brought it with me because I didn’t want it stolen it will be quite safe with us sir I assure you come in close the door you must be freeing out there have

    Some Brandy oh thank you very nice of you I’m not do off too late I was going straight home to have a hot bath if you like tomorrow night you can follow me to the pictures oh uh can we go to the classic it’s the mommy’s Curt

    And attack of the crab people if you tell me who you work for you can’t out of the question what is your name Backer back to Clark you’re obviously English don’t jump to conclusions not in this game could just be part of the cover a cunning device I’m nothing like I appear to be buxer come it down beside me you must be tired we weary in cical sometimes I can hardly live with

    Myself can I come and live with you you tell me things you’re not trying to Weedle things out of me are you I don’t know I don’t know what I want but when you sit near me I feel so alive inside I have this effect on women there was this friend of my

    Mother’s why don’t kiss me I think I will this isn’t just work you now I mean I do want you so do I from the first time I saw you he been wearing your heart I feel quite excited why don’t you take a shower you are so tense it’ll help you

    Relax as long as it doesn’t dampen my [Applause] AR right I shall return wet and safy and then we Away Bon where are you Mrs Bon allow me please good [Applause] night I’ve got one no thanks to you come and see had a double six Clark sir I can explain no I can’t but really it all came out for the best because I’m back in filing Where I

    Belong I enclose a photo of myself as a momento it was taken on a cycling holiday when I cut my knee hence the bandage I wish you the best of luck please ring me if ever you need anything decoded sincere wishes is Yours Faithfully back to Clark PS I love you hit it [Applause] now [Applause] get on with it it was a gold k m are you with the referee go KCK who are you time we had a little talk I’m listening on here we go again why did you drug me at vport and you had something to do with my husband’s arrest that was just

    My bad luck your bad luck how did I know he was going to get arrested oh I’m sorry if he made things so difficult for you I don’t want apologies I just want what I put in your suitcase I should and it’s not there

    Now go on go on where do I make an offer I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about I guess it better be a pretty large offer I must think about this very carefully where do I get in touch with you you don’t I get in touch with you

    Tomorrow you too do you think you could follow that man without being seen who is he I don’t no but you may be just the man I’m looking [Applause] For here sorry Wa 1644 pleas [Applause] thank we want to see Mrs Fenton about what we have information of a confidential nature I give you confidential get off those steps get out out out Madam it’s all right let them in into the house Madam yes them in hey what you bleeding feet it’s 1644 pleas thank

    You I’m all always forgetting mik key and it’s such a long way down thank you that’s right Madam I thought I heard you go out oh there’s something in my room I want time for a drink no no not tonight Madam Madam that’s rather formal after last night on the other hand perhaps we will have that drink where’s your husband out of sight out of

    Mind it’s good news we he’s not out for a week just an hour you know I was expecting another French girl tonight she also has a husband out of sight oh I hope she doesn’t disturb us she better not what’s she like freckles everywhere she hasn’t got legs as good as yours I’m

    There not there Dary here my wife’s in here isn’t she me not it’s no good tonight what kind of a man do you think I am that’s her perfume isn’t it that’s ridiculous I’m not new to this you know I’ve sniffed her out of many a hotel bedroom Simone

    Ah I’m terribly sorry you should be I thought you were my wife and I thought you were my husband that’s why I’m in a wardrobe I think I had better to go darling I’ll go with you D I don’t know how to apologize you know how with my is

    It’s my wife you see he has scy young blood on his mother’s side it happens all the time I hope I haven’t ruined your evening don’t follow me he say goodby forever forever never she been had an affair with our marriage guidance Council go away leave me alone you can’t

    Mean that tell him not to come my husband may be in the lobby her husband may be in the lobby a man has to do what a man has to do I hope I haven’t uh uh mother was right I should never have married a Convent girl what were you doing in my Wardrobe what were you doing in my wardrobe hiding I was a woman at Le she had an invitation you knew I was there of course you knew I was there but you were still going to make CL with that woman look I didn’t complain when you were

    Seducing that boy in the bicycle while I was hiding in the shower contiki Lounge your floor sir contiki Lounge no no no drive on do I sense a lack of trust why should I trust a spy first you’re a weter then you’re a diplomat you drug me in Bucharest break

    Into my uncle’s house and how F you was a man’s wife and no one’s complained about my legs before ground floor She said he was a spy lot of him about this time of year just a minute our Affair is making progress we’re in complete Harmony neither of us trust the other an

    Inch we don’t like each other very much sure I knew you were in the wardro but let me tell you the point of that exercise whenever you think he wouldn’t do that you would you know what I want yes do we have a deal yes yes definitely I’ve got

    What you want the price 1,000 pound when do I collect I’ll go you tomorrow I need time to arrange things call me at 7 at this number and remember I Would I see you’re up to three a day well what news from the outside world news from England it seems the conscience of the nation so stirred by your arrest has turned its attention to the garbage stag but your little wife has been very active well how do you now we have

    Someone watching her what for because she intends to catch a spy herself to exchange for her loved one they care perhaps not do you know this man yeah no can’t see Ona yeah that’s taken in the park that’s where I met her what’s he up to with my wife I don’t

    Know we can’t follow her everywhere who is he a man we would be most willing to exchange for you an enemy of Russia but the uh the British aren’t going to change me for an enemy of Russia uh I’m not missed that much they might if they

    Think he’s an enemy of Britain just a question of making things seem what they’re not you’re the experts so your wife may solve all our problems with a Little Help from her friends I found a spy bu would you like some banana I found a spy a real one no F

    Well I’m very pleased for you have you weeded anything out of him yet I don’t need to I’m going to frame him it’s a bit dirty isn’t it it’s a dirty game B as you should know true none of us are clean in this business how are you going

    To frame him there he thinks I have something you wants I’ll use it as bait to get him out of London and while he is away evidence can be planted in this room what sort of evidence oh government papers secret files anything you can get your a perfect person you have

    Access to all sorts of things all you have to do is Ste something secret and plant it in this men’s room is that all yes Oh I thought you wanted something difficult no all you want is for me to steal something top secret from government files for which I could get

    25 years but with remission for Good Conduct I should be out by my early 4 he the one who go to prison you can be the one to give the tip you’ll get all the credit for C him we’ll be a hero Boer do you want to be a filing clock

    All your life just a number and a grade at the ministry or whatever yes you said you loved me well I do in principle who else can I turn to who sent me a letter foring help if a voice you need it yes now when I need it who’s turning me

    Down rejecting me my blood hello it’s me are we in business yes listen to me very carefully I have what you want I’m in Paris Paris yes there is a plane to O at 8:00 I will be waiting for you why par we’re in no position to ask questions hello how’s it work

    Par this is a recorded announcement is not in at the moment please leave your name and your number and she’ll ring you when I get back I mean when she gets back who’s there I came as soon as I could bit W up wake up I’m being attacked

    B beer time to take a seat in the drawing room Young lady it seems to take a long time for anything to S of your pretty French there are a few things you’re going to tell me first have you got my package have you no no not here well who has what was all this Paris crap what was

    That a setup for I was scared of you of dealing with you alone and had to get someone to help me in Paris it’s going to be a long hard night so much I want to know so much you’re going to tell me what about the good girl can’t leave

    Her here to talk take her with you hey don’t draw the Gams [ __ ] hey it’s time for Madam to get up oh my head I feel terrible I feel sick chloroform where are we going I don’t know but I don’t intend to arrive there come on I can’t we’ll kill Ourselves all they dous well at least they don’t have Guns Just hippie Cat A All together thanks for giving me a hand get rid of these I won’t out I won’t I can’t go any further oh shut up and keep walking where are we where SC lck how do you know highly recommended I’m cold the start a fire do you know who those men were you’ve been trying to set me up for something and I’m going to find out what I’d never seen them before honestly let’s get this straight all I want is what I put in that suitcase I was making it

    Up I was making it all of why no hurry we’ll hold up for the winter you’ll tell me I’m no used to you and we’ve got till May 4th let’s get some heat in here you can’t keep me here like this find me my uncle is a very important

    Man they’ll be on outcry it’ll be not newspapers with my picture politician sneeze abused abducted all the police will be looking for me and the Air Force and be all may with helicopters oh Well trout now I like mine Grill on the bone with a little uh par in let that one was yours they keep a real fine seller here this is from the lir that’s a good french wine ought to remind you of Home hm H you want some no thank you you know

    I like France I travel all around it Normandy Britany cross the kar following someone I suppose I had a girl with me how wonderful for her yes I think it was I’m sure your a great loger this with was every’s wife I’m very particular they have to be

    Awake with you I would find it hard to be awake you had a lot of experience huh be enough say tell me you know when your husband was arrested on your honeymoon was it before after dur our marriage was consumed thank God it wasn’t consummated you have a dirty mind well

    That’s better than having a clean record I have not got a clean record I have had many lavas how many 87 name the last two I can’t remember names anyway it was hours ago now you better clean up now get your mind off sex you’re such a child I’m not a child

    I’m a woman with a will on my own strong will I’m very determined I’m getting up now and I’m living and nothing is going to stop me especially you what’s the matter it’s Raining I’m not sleeping in here with you sleep in there and freeze today I rather do that then then then then what girl with your experience hey I could be number 88 it could be nice and warm you only have one bed to make up in the morning good night Mrs Fenton For Hey you forgot something I forgot a [Applause] new good try but don’t try it again sorry about keeping you here but it’s up to You what Suffering from shock and exposure I’m suffering from Something oh yes of course it’s been hours since you took a lover Days this much of a Truce why not those questions not Now I going to see the headlines now politicians need Subdued what’s the matter nothing why are you shaking I’m shaking nothing I’m just called nervous I’m not nervous I’m just called what why you move your bed from the fire stay right where are That mhm much you know we could be friends I’d like that told each other a lot of lies but that isn’t [Applause] come That was an even better try you’ll never give up I have now why things have changed is that why it came back he h truce what about truth yeah guess it’s about time I started telling you the truth E No you don’t 35 P please here you are keep the change and could we leave now please oh we’ better just wait for those two men running down the hill oh we’re in an awful hurry you’re in a hurry as well please it’s very ENT oh why why didn’t you say [Applause] so why did those men want you well first of all let me tell you I’m not a spy no you see what I do is a smuggle manuscripts out of Russia you know political Memoirs novels works that are banned by the Soviets I help to get them

    Published in the west is that’s what you put in my guess yes the whole manuscript well I micro show them of course why well I thought they’d caught me in Bucharest with a hotel full of secret police well how did I know they were there to arrest your

    Husband why didn’t you tell me that before what you do is make money I’m not a Boy Scout doing good deeds I get paid very very well well or I used to now what’s your angle I thought you wear a spy you see that’s why I pretended to have what you

    Wanted I was going to get you arrested and swap for John don’t worry about it how can you get me arrested I’m not a spy you may be know oh it’s you boxer I must know did you do it well you see the thing is uh my

    Mother came down last Tuesday and she’s not been at all well she’s had this right down her side and me a phone up she’s not that’s what we call and there was the night Porter did you or don’t you no you you didn’t mind have faved me you’ll

    Never speak to me again I don’t blame you I’ve let you down I’m pathetic of course you’re not you’re wonderful am I backer oh do something one of the netball players we were just about to kick off I go good who was that pardon who was that yesterday’s Woman hey now look you do not have to stay you are a woman with a will of your own and very determined ah you’re getting up now and uh leaving nothing’s going to stop you especially Me but it may be Raining Andre Fen what do you mean barging in here you are under arrest how can there rest an innocent man it’s as bad as over there the secret police baring in the middle of the night we don’t have secret police we have the special Branch to m to the faan evidence

    Was found in his room conclusive evidence that the man’s a Soviet agent planted evidence Uncle isn’t it obvious that’s why the Russians got him out of the way I was with him we were forced to go to Scotland good grief girl the Russian embassies already admitted it he’s a spy

    That’s because they want him I’ve told you what he does prove positive and don’t go on about that story of lost luggage I’m going to read the sporting page morning Trevor morning faier Splendid news what ch arrested last night the Russians have agreed to swap him for job I

    Know whyever not this man means nothing to us he does to Me At least the bloody ice has melted by something there he is still don’t like the fell still looks too smooth look look John suitcase huh I forgot there was another one he must have taken it to Moscow you put the microphone in that you guess don’t you

    See soon as this is a film they’ll know who you are when the case is here I’ll be there you must be the first Soviet prisoner to put on weight when they take the photographs suck your chicks in come along sir Uncle you must do something nothing I

    Can do Wheels in Motion don’t you want John back yes of course I do but for the white pron and for the white man welcome home com yeah now great to be back welcome home time good to be back what have I missed oh nothing much really sir weather’s been pretty awful in

    England oh princess an’s taking her pilot’s license good to get you comrade but you didn’t get the manuscript but we stopped the flow I must tell you only in the interest of self-preservation that at this very moment the manuscript is making its way toward the west with my

    Partner here he comes what are you talking about Bon was my partner and he has a manuscript in that case ridiculous he made quite a fool of you absurd worth a [Applause] look stop father stop open the case I can’t open the case you know why open it I’m sorry this

    Isn’t on my operational schedule why don’t you open the case Jones K is full of money let me see what does it mean Lord what the hell’s going on close it up please what does this mean means he exchang is off take him back I’m afraid it means he’s been paid for his

    Hardship unless he’s done an awful lot of overtime in the salt maret sorry about this sir appears to be some sort of hitch I really must pretend I’m in Charge get after get after get after we’re not sure if we sort it out when we get there let Out [Applause] [Laughter] La Ch BL Oh thank God thank God oh my God Nice of you to drop in got a lot of spirit that girl could almost be English Look shouldn’t you both be exchanging Insurance notes or Something H [Applause] Allall Zor The getting away and it’s all your fault I’ll could you ever marry a guy like that in the first place what the hell are you doing no time for fireworks a you can’t hit him with that that’s used for distress signals don’t you understand it’s a flare gun don’t

    Point it at me point it at here now look what the hell you’re doing here Tomy I got him I got Him here take this how did it Work Let me take it out Help come on we better get Back I think you’ve lost a husband you’ve lost a manuscript it wasn’t much of a book he wasn’t much of a husband I wonder what we’ll do with him depends on who they arey wait a minute which bank are we on to it of course sure Naturally it’s obvious I

    Hope you’re right because you’re not the whole thing starts all over again double help you are sure this is a west of course huh Okay Oh Oh

    18 Comments

    1. The first hour and about 20 min of this movie was superb – intelligent and funny – and that pretty girl with that French accent – a cross between Melina Mercouri and Mary Ann of Gilligan's Island. And although Kirk Douglas may have gotten top billing – it was her performance (and good looks) that made this movie a good one.

    2. Not bad. Very early seventies. Back when they still made movies fun and innocent. Douglas was certainly bigger than life, and not afraid to show it. Acting that carries a film. Even in a light-hearted spy spoof like this, his personality makes it interesting, I think! I can't say I ever remember seeing the girl before, but she did a good job.

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