Today, I’m helping a new writer edit the first chapter of his fantasy novel.
Want me to coach you? Apply for my Fantasy Outlining Bootcamp: http://jedherne.com/outline
⏲️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 – Introduction
01:05 – Ethan’s goals for the call
01:49 – Correct manuscript formatting
02:57 – The opening sentence
03:23 – Character backstory
03:41 – Ground us within the setting
04:56 – How can substances impact the magic
05:37 – Scene transitions
06:36 – Dialogue formatting
07:41 – Paragraph spacing
11:40 – Action beats with dialogue
12:33 – Speaking names in dialogue
13:24 – Understanding punctuation
16:04 – Fix foreshadowing later in the edit
16:48 – How to describe coughing
19:24 – The importance of intention
20:06 – The Emotion Thesaurus
23:02 – Back to expressing coughing in dialogue
24:21 – Lean into the apprentice trope
25:59 – Formatting interjections
26:32 – An industrialising fantasy world
29:55 – Writing accents
31:29 – Creating a culture inspired by leafcutter ants
32:52 – An easy worldbuilding win
34:09 – Be cautious about this
34:47 – Learning from The Name of the Wind
36:03 – Writing songs
36:38 – Where the chapter becomes interesting
38:22 – Shortening the chapter
40:11 – Conveying the magic system
43:13 – Dealing with a tone change
47:12 – Picking the right character for exposition
48:16 – Establishing promises
48:41 – Series or standalone?
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26 Comments
So." Beat washing" feel like this should be an h word.. and then i thought of tuning.. that looks wrong but like you tune instruments so musical conotations but change t to h an add an e to evoke colour which is attached to emotions.. " Huenning".
Or
"Hearding".. using that both words sound the same.. heard or herd..one associted with sound the other with control..
Sneaks in the old Pokemon joke. "Coughing. Weezing." 😅
Should an aspiring writer work on short stories until he has a bit of practice, or is a novel just fine? A bit of history for my question here.
A number of years ago some people on AOL (that might give a clue on how long ago) some people in a reader's/writer's area suggested that I try writing a short story based on a profile that I had made for a purpose other than I was using that screen name for at the time. After I started I found that it took me in directions that I hadn't intended. Some of those directions included a possible novel and when trying to cover backstory for my protagonist a small series. While trying to write I wrote a couple of flash fiction stories that were totally unrelated and possibly not worth trying to get published.
Then a couple of things happened in my life that caused me to not be able to work on any writing. Now I'm 69 years old and have the time and means to try again, but I'm wondering if I should try to work on the earlier larger works, or if I should work on short stories, possibly even flash fiction. Any advice here?
Damn that is a cool story
Rob is talking. It seems confusing bc you broke his perfectly fine formatting and separated Rob's dialogue across 3 different paragraphs when there was no need for it. Long paragraphs are ok, especially if the same dude is talking smh you confused this man for no reason other than your own aesthetic taste.
Hey Jed, I wanted to ask this. I really want to write my fantasy novel, but since english is not my primary language, I always lose motivation since I feel like my book will be riddled with mistakes even after I finish all the editing, I also don't know how to stylize the book for an english audience. Any advice?
Absolutely fantastic content. Thank you, Jed! This kind of thing is so helpful for me. I've done a lot of research on the principles of editing, but I haven't seen a lot of practical examples. Hearing your thought process is awesome.
It’s so great to see aspiring authors get the help they need. Do you have any videos, or plan to make any, on marketing/advertising your work? I just got my first novel published through a smaller company and I’ve been looking into ways to share my work with as many people as I can. Any advice would be really helpful.
Beat matching, beat leading (alliteration!) beat subversion, beat syncopation, beat channelling… so many options. Beat stealing ! Beat theft ! Beat flogging! Beat seduction ! Borrow, lend. Beat-setter, beat powerhouse, beat sprinter… Have fun writing your story dude :o)
This is awesome great coaching advice!!! Love it 🖊️ 📄 📝
Only 15 minutes in, yet it is already very enlightening. I know Jed is early in his career, but he does have some great advice. He isnt mere hours into this. It takes thousands of hours to write his back catalogue- there is gold in them hills.
Hi Jed, hello from a fellow Aussie! (Melbourne) thanks for putting out this video, I found your process very interesting! Been following and really liking your stuff! Especially because I love fantasy! Cheers!
Good example of how to brainstorm and what things new authors do not think about when writing. One thing is that I don't agreed with is that he should spend a year on a 2nd draft. You will not be a better writer by editing 1 piece over and over. 80/20 rule applies and if you write another book, then you'd be able to edit or write a better version of the previous book. If he sits on the draft and write book 2, then goes over book 1 sure.
Otherwise, write under a pen name first, get it to the best of your own current ability and then publish. Don't spend years on a single book.
I would be weary as it pertains to the whole notion of show don’t tell. It seems like you want everything to be shown. You should look for show and tell. You don’t need to go through every eye twinkle and motion they make. It’s okay to tell.
Moreover, I’d be careful about making everything “easier” for the reader. If it’s a grammatical error or clunky sentence, sure. But I’ve seen so many writers dumb down their prose and lose their voice and style in the process… just my two cents.
Other than that, great video Jed
He has some good tips, but also a ton of bad ones. Guys like Jed are just grifters looking to capitalize on the dreams of amateur writers. There is only one sure fire way to become a good writer: read, write and live your life. Do these things everyday and you’ll be content with yourself as well as your writing. It’s really not that hard. I understand wanting to find a way to be published, but these writing gurus and “On Writing” books don’t actually progress you towards that goal. Sure, there are technical aspects to it that should be learned. However, this can be achieved through your reading diet and writing regimen. After you learn that, it all comes down to you and how comfortable you are with your own style. Don’t take advice from these silly videos and figure it out for yourself. Writing isn’t something you learn through courses. Good writing comes from the desire to write, not the desire to get published.
Bet his evil charisma politician is based on Trump.
Ethan looks like a nice and kind guy not only that he's also giving me friendly vibes.
Jed is a better businessman than a writer it seems. Listen, I don't mind people teaching others on writing, even being paid to do so, but it should at least be done by someone competent, and I wish this wasn't a space occupied by people who either don't write themselves or can't.
A lot of this was just general advice about formatting and grammar, which, I'm gonna be honest, is something you should probably learn before you decide to write a novel. Other than that, there's almost nothing of substance here.
Half the pieces of advice he gives are just cliches and have nothing to do with producing quality work.
Show don't tell, for instance, is BS. If you can tell well, that's fine. Good writing is almost always a mix of both.
I have a question. Is it really necessary to use end-of-line hyphenation when writing a book? Why not simply justify the text?
Hi Jed, just found your channel recently, watching through a lot of your stuff. Has been very helpful so far. Awesome to see another Aussie (Brisbane) quitting his job to be a full time author. Gives me hope.
I have to admit, I write in block paragraphs, but I usually leave a double space between the paragraphs … which is actually how block paragraphs work. and I know how to reformat into manuscript style before I share it with anyone. <chuckle>
Oh, so you wrote the Siege of Trebulain? Nice. I wouldn't call it a videogame though.
JK Rowling does not write good dialog, her writing is terrible
Having to teach bro about basic punctuation gave me lots of confidence in my own abilities
String tugger.
That’s odd I could tell Tepel was a older man when he was telling the stories and knew the accents and it also called him a man once or twice