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ADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK’s most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world.
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the biggest thing we’ve ever done will be going out and before that we’ve got some banging specials coming up you do not want to not be a patreon over the next few months sign up enjoy the episode patreon.com SL have a word pod 3 quid access to more stuff than you can shake a stick at wagwag leads you’re listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam Dan Sensei car and Finn this is the one and only have award brought to you by manscape the very best product on the market for below the waste gr go Ed get on me episode 285 is it yeah I just know that off the top of my head I keep you know lovely knocking up some stats here and Adam is away uh doing a FF finding mission of the Amazon basin so in his place the young Legend Michael rice hello I’m not that young though 33 you old you old than ad yeah I think I am lad and wouldn’t and I really see him as older and he’s achieved so much and I feel like a child around him I’m like you’re you’re a an old wise man the most outest age as well yeah 33 33 and a turd and everyone’s just like say it again go on say it again you dirty little bastard women love saying that 23 you uh Jesus gave up the coward oh he died at 34 didn’t he actually gave up 33 lad no he gave 33 33 he [ __ ] he gave up and the Romans [ __ ] had a wicked way with him it sounds like they sex used it well sure they probably did they’re not going to put that in the Bible but they were putting nails in his hands what do you think they were putting up his flute they’re cocked think about it do you know what I mean that would make Easter so different wouldn’t it oh lad absolutely you get them kinky content at M in you stigma involved in that but I the smma involved so you’ve been doing all right kid you’re all right yeah I’m back I’m I was back in Ireland there um I’m just kind of back now I was uh uh did you come back more Irish yeah yeah defin well CU when I’m back when I’m home on the farm and you’re around cows and cow [ __ ] and my father’s depression you know what I mean and you come back feeling like a sad poem you know what I mean but then I was also going to come down cuz I uh I went to [ __ ] uh I want Bruce Springstein was in on SE yeah and uh the boss would you know him now yeah yeah yeah we get him over here it’s not just a limic thing but where are you from kill Kenny oh sorry kill Kenny so he came to K Kenny right and I love like I you know like I love Bruce I’m not in loveed him but I love him and uh he so I was like you know what I was coming over from London so I was like I’m going to I’m going to have the best time my brothers are are going to be there going to do some MDMA at Bruce going to bring some MD to Bruce and then uh so I was like I’m going to bring the drugs and I had them here so I was like I bring them through the airport uh but in my head I was like right I’ve got this method for bringing the MD true I’m going to put it in my wallet right never going to think it’s going to be in your wallet would they no drugs are but then I’m going wallet fold over the wallet the wallet has coins in it and fold the coins on top of the MD the machine can’t see true coins the coin method famously right did it work well this is it I went through put my [ __ ] uh bag through the thing it goes through do don’t that second or like that like 30 seconds that it comes through and it’s like is this an evil bag or is this oh the little hover where it can go left straight I I genuinely had the the biggest mental breakdown like internally I’ve ever had in my life for that very important that you don’t visualize any of that breakdown cuz they they know don’t they L I was literally there like this I was like you stupid [ __ ] why would you think you can bring drugs through the airport that’s the dumbest [ __ ] you put it in your the coin method that’s not even a thing you’ve just made that up you stupid bastard to bring MDMA to Bruce Springstein it’s not an MDMA act right it’s not a v what are you going to do [ __ ] finger a 7-year-old you stupid [ __ ] prick you’re 33 right Jesus d right and I was just i l i Wasing and then my [ __ ] Trey went straight on you didn’t Che though lad I was like you’re a criminal genius that’s it the you can if you want anything smuggled into Ireland speak to Mike he’ll have he’ll have 2273 and change and he can get you anything through lad weapons the coin method is flawless I I thought I was just like I’m like Pablo escar time 10 I just couldn’t I like how much by the way how much Mandy was it was like where’s a nice little bag andang on we talking a nice little bag or a nice little how is enough for me and and me and my lovely Brothers all the brothers not all the brothers name out no it wasn’t like a block no way huh wasn’t like a block of it no no no no no no but no Nim no need a clear head um he wouldn’t want to be he’s in charge of the farm isn’t he he’s Inge farm he can’t be can’t be mean not reached Island yet is that why you had to bring it over no l it has but I just didn’t want to haveing no we have electricity there as well tell us about Island have you got drugs yet oh no just have the marijana it’s a it’s a new thing it’s exciting no that we have we have loads of drugs that uh no we’re mad about drugs like we’re like the cocaine capital of Europe at the minute like we’re flying it we’re doing really well kill Kenny huh kill Kenny is the cocaine capital of Europe I am not [ __ ] having that well I I kind of meant uh General Ireland but I’m going I might go with Kenny yeah but they do love it like the Ken we’re we’re called the cats the Kenny cats and we’re all like you know what I mean just getting [ __ ] up and acting like cats that’s what we’re know foror Gallow huh yeah yeah yeah yeah George Gallow you little maggot I don’t know who George Gallow is he’s an MP he blocked me on Twitter and wel fell no who loves Putin no he’s Scottish oh he’s Scottish and he loves Putin he he wears a stupid hat and he’s like poting his sound I kind of thought he was and he famously did an impression of a cat on Celebrity Big Brother and he’s never lived it there oh really and he blocked me on Twitter without ever interacting with me never that’s nasty before even have a way this is like years ago Carl’s an online elephant he never forget youve had some you’ve had some social media beef since we you were last in well Conor McGregor called me inbr and retied and I’m only saying that word cuz that’s a direct quote y yeah when makes it fine yeah so he’s he called me uh an inbred rarded fellow why um hang on did he retweet it huh no he just commented oh Instagram what a sh yeah yeah he just commented well he called it to me cuz he just saw he saw one of my clips one of the clips of me doing standup and then he just that’s what he felt in his heart was that I was inbred and retired it and you just have to give it like to be fair like I’m not [ __ ] am I do you know what I mean no no no I’m not not even on MDMA at Bruce Springs day no oh lad though I will say afterwards after the concert we had to go back we forget that it ends at 10:00 and we’re living in in my uh [ __ ] in the house with my go back to your mom and dad’s yeah so we just had to go back just but we’re all just like you know and then like you know my my beautiful mother just there baking some bread and believing in Jesus Christ is she like the mom off is she like Joe pes’s mom off go fellas yeah when they get there late and she just makes a lasagna at like 4:00 a.m. SC says his actual mom is it yeah SC all unscripted that whole scene at the kitchen table I love he went just act like a mom and the whole thing it’s like the Huff the hu the hu God that’s how we see your mother oh Jesus M you come in look at the [ __ ] eyes on you like [ __ ] saucers have some sourdough that’s exactly what you want no she you think sourdough now is is bollocks like oh really it’s just old school it hasn’t reached Island yet yeah have you got souro yet we have it there but you’re smuggling it in in in coins we they would take it off your customs in Ireland they don’t we don’t believe in that what’s this [ __ ] satanic [ __ ] I was kind of weak and Godless yeah but uh no my mother’s there she was baking brown bread and we all came in just [ __ ] Jaws like pendulum just and she’s like oh the concert good and we were like we love you so much you know and uh it’s the first hug she’s had since 2004 yeah I I apologized to her I was like sorry I was a difficult teenager you know oh no I was like sorry and she was like what’s wrong with your head and I was like You Made Me This Way know you Bruce and the classo drugs yeah oh that yeah oh my God I can’t imagine a worst place to be I know kitchen with someone’s mom when you’re off your biscuit in I know and then like by 11 she just had to leave cuz we started playing Bruce in the in the living room just like you know what I mean it’s like everyone had to get up the next day they were just like Jesus Christ um how how many people where where was it at the stadium or Kenny the Nolan Park Stadium so was like 40,000 people yeah Jesus oh yeah K Kenny love BR cuz you know Bruce’s stuff is all like I worked in a factory and now I’m not working in a factory you can do that too and everyone he’s like you know yes bro is he still doing five hours he did three and a half hours lad he was what is going on with he was sweating like a hor in church he was up there he was [ __ ] you what I mean just coming down so oh and he’s touching the crowd he was like he’s a bit like Christ himself he has a [ __ ] nail up his flute the same Bruce what I mean any special guests huh did you bring any special guest no just Bruce and then surprise more [ __ ] Bruce he walks back out yeah in a different suit well at one time he he does crowd work for the first half hour then there’s a break then he you know yeah and and and he he kind of uh he at one point he just like he he sends the band off he’s like you [ __ ] off they just want just me now do you know what I mean so you get off I think that’s a baller move though yeah yeah I like a to just go hey let’s have you know three actic pull the acoustic out for did that they genuinely she sat down the guitar [ __ ] the band [Music] off she was me she was so fit by the way oh my [ __ ] me old mate she’s nearly as old as test da who 111 test so old I couldn’t even say the number that’s how old she’s she had underwear on and a coat and that’s it lad in she’s dead oh me she was playing for those [ __ ] to Northern Tes she must have had so much work done when she dies she’ need to be recycled i’ say but you got some feather up called Ken so this guy been watching her for like 30 years more all over the world and like he’s a famous fan she went I’ve Ken’s here he’s from near lthm she got him on stage just some proper Lancer fell Cowboy at on leather jacket she like hi Ken was like hello she’s like uh so you only live 10 minutes away or did you get it he like on the bus there like 30,000 people just buzzing off Ken and then um he’s just being Ken like he can tell like his wife’s getting leathered that night and he’s thinking of sh like she was in the crowd [ __ ] me he had jeans Margaret when when I come can I shout Shia this one time I know you’ve never let me in 30 years I just want to [ __ ] Le you the next song she did was that don’t impress me much and instead of saying Brad Pit she said Ken no oh oh so put him down yeah what that’s putting him down that’s an egg yeah it is no so Brad Pit cuz Brad Pit’s at the top yeah so you can that doesn’t impress me pick an ugly con did she she picked one of the most beautiful men ever yeah but but the thing is when you when it’s Brad Pit that makes sense cuz it’s ironic cuz it’s like you’re that you’re that famous and goodlooking that don’t impress me much but when it’s Ken it’s like you’re just hitting the nail in the head it’s you came here on the bus that don’t impress me you’re poor you’re poor you’re have yellow teeth that impress me much yeah but he got a he gets a wank for that for the Last 5 Years of his life whatever oh my God is he dying won he’s on his way in he than so he started watching sha in his 50s he went H he went I was at your your show in 1999 in wemble she I don’t even remember that he went I do oh when she said Ken thatone went yes but then I was sad because I didn’t get to say say blad pit I was looking forward to that line do it again do it again but properly I went to watch uh how CDs that I went to watch The War on Drugs last night um in Liverpool I wouldn’t like that flashbacks what’s and someone saw me and chanted PUO at me which was fun P yeah his mom loves P that you the fell the fat little [ __ ] with the mustache Sol that’s not what how we talk about his mother me that Rond gentleman I I defend heate fat little I just say can I just say I didn’t realize Finn was already doing the joke as I started doing the joke so to be fair I is it play on I don’t think advantage defend and also make sure she sees this and also I am very close with big Lizzy kualo Kola yeah we’re close yeah you knew her name you know her name so he brought her to my show in roncor because you know got to show that lady a good time was her birthday I knew how to treat it’s her birthday Mom put something nice on we’re going runor we’ve got VIP guest list at Dan show 96 tickets and um I was like oh brilliant of course I’ve met you more probably 15 times at this point you’ve worked for the company for four years she is a lovely wonderful Supple womanle she oh God every SM skin phenomenal she’s a wonderful woman she’s a wonderful woman that’s what we when we’re noeds we just like that’s the what what’s the opposite prefix suffix nice oh suffix right so she’s a wonderful woman however yeah we’ve called the PUO tits so much for the [ __ ] year because she’s watched P maybe twice in her life but now the thing is are she loves Pirro so it became PUO TI and I was like brilliant so Finn’s bringing his moment and I to go i’ see you there Finn just a quick reminder because I’ve forgotten her name I know and I don’t want to go happy birthday Piro tit um what would she have done it’s big Li laugh she’d have been fine she [ __ ] sound I’ve met her I’ve fin s with her by the way if on Mandy and you’ve been to a gig Finn’s kitchen with his mom I think would be one of the sound of mom formations there she’s she’s like Co kind of a Godless woman that that wouldn’t she’s very Godless she a she married a Muslim she sh would she say the word [ __ ] like she like oh my [ __ ] itchy stuff like that no I don’t know she does she does say that quite often actually but you know what me I just we found we found fin line I just saw I just saw to be honest but I’m just asking is she like is she you know is she a woman Unshackled yeah she swears right but she doesn’t say like oh but mom swears she’s not like what’s happening [ __ ] you know what I mean she’s not like all my [ __ ] she’s a [ __ ] she’s like who asshle steaming here right yeah or you know what I mean she doesn’t fart she wouldn’t fart on you she wouldn’t fart on you or something like it was mom fart I don’t know I just he says she’s cool to me cool people F I think she’s just like yeah go play on do what you want she’s cool she’s sound she’s not degenerate she’s a good woman just cuz we just cuz we haven’t you know we don’t follow our Lord and savior like you do no it’s just cuz my mother’s afraid to she’s like afraid of fting so and I cuz she’s that repressed Let Jesus out well that I think so I think she feels the holy spirit is leaving her body if she FS Jesus you stinky little bastard no Jesus needs some Fiber but when we were growing up like if my mother like like f by a him like Let One slip she nearly start crying she’ be like I’m so sorry for doing that oh no and she had a shame man to the first time I SW him from my mom was on stage at the arena really yeah I’ve never SW him once your mom and then obviously at the arena I was doing she like never had to swear far as like I do do it to you God I sometimes I could like the the arena was so up and down for me I had bits of it that I didn’t enjoy I had bits where I was having the time of my life but basically was a bit of a roller coaster there was one point where I thought of a joke about Carl and then remembered that his mom was in the arena brother and I yeah but I your Paul sound yeah I think we me and him have gotten enough yeah I like same birthday a joke a joke I think I’ve got enough credit in the bank with your with your Paul that he’ go yeah all right it’s a joke it’s not like he doesn’t like me and then he’d be like that little [ __ ] no no but I pull the punch and I’ve never been so happy to like I think you clocked it and after was went yeah thank you yeah yeah I’ve got to be nicer to you today why someone messaged and went what why are you so pissed off with car been a running thing for years is though wasn’t does it hurt your feelings does what hurt me feelings that Dan is cruel to you no I’m much worse to him than he is to me no the thing is with Carl it’s it’s out of this studio yeah I don’t think i’ get on with I get on with everyone really well but I get on with Carl so well like I’m the [ __ ] minister at his W not real Minister he’s Maring me and me fiance I love the when’s that word none April but he’s a [ __ ] wind up it’s like getting marked by Park G Sun he’s [ __ ] everywhere and you’re PL trying to run the game than you I’m you I’m not py [ __ ] you’re up my asso and you and you’re a wind up and he loves it like you can’t see it when you’re watching at home sometimes he negs right and then I can just look over and his eyebrows are going he’s having fun with his eyebrows and then I get testy and everyone’s like [ __ ] hell lad don’t know what’s going on between you and Carl [ __ ] murder there and it’s because I’m getting wound up and he’s trying to W me up so I don’t want to be that guy cuz I love him we’re best he’s marrying us how is the let me be nice the whole episode today is just going to be a [ __ ] loveing between you and me kid I don’t like that tell them about how good is thick isi hair I don’t like pity and I don’t like fake ni it’s not it’s not F you look and this is genuine you look verile you look you seem fertile I don’t know yet I haven’t we’re not having kids so I don’t know how I could be impotent right well no impotent is if your Willie doesn’t work lad believe me I know about that infer was the word sorry was that after the Monday what the Imp no I was imp for about six years there couldn’t get it up six yeah six years 18 to 24 I’d just have panic attacks and I’d run away 1824 yeah no you have you getting boners when you didn’t want them but when you did need them you couldn’t I I would just get afraid when I was woman on my own and I just and I’d freeze and be like Oh and then so you can’t get hard when you’re afraid do you know what I mean is that true if a lion came at like you’re not going to be like who look at that 100% so I mean you’re afraid are you trying to get hard in front of the lion though huh maybe if it’s a [ __ ] it’s got a lovely thick man a lion a lion you have to be a proper shagger for a lion to enter the room and then for you to be like I’m still going to finish yeah yeah yeah fact six years well yeah no it was rotten out I tell you that it was nasty do mean you were [ __ ] at sex you impotent no no my Willie I would just get my Willie wouldn’t work cuz I get I’d have panic attacks but then I wouldn’t tell anyone cuz I was too shamed and then everyone would say I was gay I wasn’t gay I would love to be gay the girl parade for people whose Willies don’t work you know what I mean that isn’t actually no it’s [ __ ] [ __ ] as well no cuz who’s turning off I’ll be there impotent Bri [ __ ] there you could have a little you’d have a little float with an inflatable [ __ ] that hadn’t been inflated you know you like a [ __ ] L with a hole two lot trying to play pool with a r like oh you know my father be there as well that’s my favorite time for soft Willie as well trying to play pool with a ro I know that trying to ring a doorbell with Lish yeah how did you uh how did you get through it how I I let I to go to do you know it was the love of an African-American woman this an African-American woman in America told me uh that she loved me and she’ like rub my hair and my back and my belly oh so you just need connection you needed Mumy in yeah connection that’s very important for a lot of people well no it was an African-American thing don’t try to make it about connection it was racial now uh it was the love it was love African love from that originated in that continent and then she’d rob me she’d my head and stuff but she was she was very drunk all the time so I don’t even know you know what I mean she’s I love she’s like I love you I where did you meet this woman huh where did you meet her we worked in a restaurant an Italian restaurant run by Iranians called The Bay a leaf in Chicago it was a little [ __ ] it was a money laundering operation to be hon sick life is M if this is a lie that’s one of the most incredible detailed lies ever like if it’s it’s not [ __ ] I know it’s not but if you are going to lie that’s the level of detail you want no it was Shawn and his mother Mila she’s this little Iranian she’s like a little dor going around because she came from Iran so she was just like she just she’d come up to me and she’d be like she’s like you smell bad she was very mean to me quite cruel the Iranian mother and then sea the son was just a kind of bit of a fat egy you know what I mean and um but that that’s where I met why did your lady work she work she worked with me we were both that wasn’t her name your lady what was what was her name what was why would have called her my because it was in America so it was my hoe I mean that’s illegal is it sorry what was her name gone uh Kayla Kayla yeah so uh and Kayla so she she kind of like she kind of sensed the sadness and then she kind of took me under a wing like I said she was pissed a lot of the time but then she like uh then she kind of We Were got together and then I was having sex and my Willie was working and I was in my head I was just like it’s that’s what I meant to be with an African American much older huh much older I think she was 52 or but child she was like there wasn’t there wasn’t much bounc you know what I mean it was it was there was a lot of swinging and uh but she was very she was like so tender and nice with me and stuff like that but then I don’t know then she she was a mean drunk so then one time she like she [ __ ] hit me and uh were you in an abusive relationship with an old African-American woman yeah I think so and then you when she hit you that’s when you came well that’s when it got oh I was like I’m flying Daddy just a boy from Kilkenny who loves to be abused by African-American women right in Chicago that’s right T us all this time and it was romantic and uh and then one time she got sick from the bed on the floor and then sure again I was like a rock and uh and then then another time then she said uh she she pretended she was pregnant oh she was like she’s like I pregnant and then she I remember she just she toppled out of the bed onto the floor and just smacked it on like on the floor like a sack of Spuds and then she looked up at me and she was like and she was like you don’t even care and my your son is inside me I like you couldn’t know the gender do you know what I mean like there’s no way that you know the gender do you know what I mean or assume it or and the Assumption I actually yeah point I was like they you have them inside you you horrible unprogressive woman on the floor yeah but uh P FL P FL but do you you your little rivalry do you ever did you ever do you ever wrestle or anything do you ever physicalize it never with an African-American woman but right I’m up to it well no do you ever like get cuz like me and my brother have that same thing ye have for like he like we got on well but he’s started doing Jiu-Jitsu so he always want to wrestle now cuz he knows he can win and do his M like his Asian tricks on me should have asked Conor what could have asked Conor for some tips yeah no I [ __ ] well he was actually he’s so it’s just and I was back [ __ ] when I was back he was telling me the story that I completely forgotten and this makes sense actually with a few of the things that I’m thinking about the progressive stuff when we were younger me and my brother Pat and my cousin David so we kind of grew up together on the farm we were all like best friends David was a little older we used to worship me is like our hero but um we used to go spying on the farm down the road the O’Brien’s oh cuz we had a rivalry my father and them like who was better farmers and stuff and uh but when we used to go so we would go through the fields to go down spying but we would get in Disguise so we would draw on mustaches on ourselves right but then also we used to go into my mother’s room and get lipstick and put like lipstick on and like blusher and these stuff and then we used to have these like Patty caps and we were like overalls which are like Freddy yeah jumpsuits well looking back we were trans children but like now if that was today we’d be probably put on hormone replacement or stuff like that but back in the day you just asked to get off the O’Brien’s Farm well well see here was the thing we would go down then and we were in Disguise who were you disguised as though did that person exist in the town or was it not just That’s Mike dressed insanely well like like obviously if you put it like that we weren’t we weren’t seeing the full picture cuz we were obviously dressing up as a man with a mustache but then a man who wants to be a woman to really uh kind of throw them off but we just thought they they wouldn’t be able to know where we were but one day we were going down through the field cuz we were trying to catch them doing stuff like their Farm like maybe they were like doing weird [ __ ] like eating cow [ __ ] or like doing some Nazi [ __ ] you what I mean milking dogs milking dogs or something ungodly yeah but do you know what I mean you can’t do that like or it’s not legal so like is it Lou no dog milk right wanking dogs off not that’s I don’t know who’s wanking them off how’ you get the milk out from the nipples yeah remember and meet the parents I have nipples Greg yeah can you milk me go on sorry oh no you’re good Deno how do you milk things I mean I only milk myself right and that’s all you and that’s all you’re ever going to milk what’s that from can you milk I kind think what’s Meet the Parents you milk me yeah sick can you milk me gra did you see the O’Brien’s doing anything wanking up dogs no they all we saw him doing was telling us to get the [ __ ] out they saw you oh like they were just the most inconspicuous kids ever well we were kids and we had these little hats on it we had Patty C caps cuz we thought we like the wind of Shaker barley was like the Irish war of independence but dressed like with makeup it was very bizarre um but you know when you’re y your kids you’re doing all sorts of weird [ __ ] kissing each other on the bum everything but anyway you know it’s it’s it’s the countryside as well there’s nothing to do so all you can do is explore your gender and sexuality and everything and your brother’s also uh well come on now but yes uh but so one time we were going through right so we’re going down through the field we had all this stuff on and walking down the road was like four Hardy cons from town cuz they would walk out our country road sometimes like just [ __ ] tough conss cuz they’d be coming down to like try like [ __ ] tr rocks or fight cows big like older Lads older Lads townies but like I’m talking they’re from an estate called Hein just tough serious tough con so they come out and they’ have dogs with them and [ __ ] and they be just coming to like trample flowers and travelers huh are they Travelers no they weren’t Travelers no no no to are different aren’t they yeah but they they wouldn’t have been a Million Miles Away now um and the Halton site was close by but um so they were walking down and I recognized one of them cuz I used to play hurin wh him right he was a younger guy with the older fellas right so I in my mind there’s a hedge between us we’re on the field there on the road it’s like this hedge is an insurmountable barrier right so I just shouted right I shouted Joey fat is’s a [ __ ] right now that’s not a good thing to say what’s a [ __ ] it kind of is alluding to Travelers like right but it’s not a nice thing or a politically correct thing to say but I was you know I was young I was in I was about to invade a man’s Farm you know like I wasn’t of good nature at the time so I shouts that right and next thing I think uh and see the thing is that as well at this time when we were going up uh my brother P had brought a a [ __ ] a super soer oh cuz for going to a brien’s farm just in case he had to shoot his way out like that right so he was had he was he was kind of armed with that so next thing I swear to God like the Terminator this [ __ ] right uh Mar OWI jumps over the I swear to God he jumped over the hedge he just leapt over it like this look but like this now me and my cousin go [ __ ] Sprint I never ran fast do you know when you’re running from a baon like you’re going to get the head slapped off you and you’re just like [ __ ] you same ball just we were just gone right it’s true that’s the fastest you ever run adrenaline oh the adrenaline we I’ve never run from a fight but I know what it means oh sorry yeah yeah no sorry I’m being nice yeah you are hard yeah but so love you so much I actually do think you you would like be capable of murder if it came to it I’m capable of murder cica definitely thinks am but I’m not a fighter at all MOS right but you could order like get it done have them clipped kind of thing probably you’ve never run from a gangal Lads I was the gangal lads mate [ __ ] sick I am the danger Terry there’s no reason to run is there just got what lad game of Megs and beats whoever wins wins yeah yeah yeah we did some fogging running back in the day yeah so uh so me and my cousin we go like it this guy that that came over uh the head that jumped over is a literal he’s dead now like a literal dead P murderer oh like someone who this is the level like scary [ __ ] right he jumps over the hedge me and my cousin run my brother P doesn’t move a muscle stands there smart with the [ __ ] super soer I swear to God now your man stops for a second right cuz he’s confused cuz he’s seeing this young trans woman is what it looks like with a hat on like just so bizarre staring him down with a water gun and I swear to God he stops in front of him just like like what the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] and just like Scarface my brother was like Sayo to my little friend just sprays them up and [ __ ] down and like your man like just go like that and then just goes over and just knocks my brother out like no like flattened like apart from that it’s a great moment or being knocked unconscious yeah or like like he just folded like a deck chair like just [ __ ] right and like I mean what did your brother expect to happen he honestly thought that your man is like going to be like platoon like smelt like the Wicked Witch of the West yeah you done mess with the wrong people [ __ ] you’re guys don’t jump over he’s got a gun he’s [ __ ] up he’s armed Lads no he genuinely thought your man was going to [ __ ] just like literally it’s a 3,000 it’s a super so 3,000 like a 50 c people have ever run from with the parkies in the park the what the parkies all right okay the reason I said it in that accent was so you all heard right are yeah yeah yeah we what we call them the parties cuz they hang around the park no the par he work there so the Cy Park what’s this oh it’s like when they say workies it’s just someone that works in par you mean that Park Rangers like in yeah literally yeah so the park by ours KY Park look at up they they close the gates at depending on the time of the year six or nine I think someone them winter and you had to get out the park cuz they locked all the entrances to it so if you’re in the park they have little Vans and you come go you need to go out the park now this is a big country Park as well but like we okay didn’t want to leave the park so we’d stay and just like ride off somewhere else but the rumor was and this was believed by everybody that if they got you they throw you in the back and like bomman batter you bomman batter yeah B&B yeah baby yeah like you would want book The Wrong BB online it was totally it wasn’t like oh yeah but but you’re still in the park at 5:00 p.m. yeah I live I live on the edge don’t worry about it no but like be like yeah me Brothers mates got battered one like everyone knew someone who got bummed and battered bomed and battered are you talking about they got shagged up the ass and and and battered on top of that yeah and we believe this so if the parties came here you like oh [ __ ] I mean that’s rude how do you think a boming goes like a candle lit and everything well no but you think if they’re buming them that they at least were maybe in love with them or no they were in love had some affection yeah so we were on toes then that’s during time we were on toes is when oh [ __ ] the parties are there bom on your bike parties are chasing you you’re Whi into a place the parties can’t go you safe that lad I would beat I would beat the 100 meter record running from the BM and battered Lads we always have bikes BM and batter crew it was the original park run right yeah that’s how got going yeah the park is me lad that’s [ __ ] ridiculous do you did you you you you’ve obviously got a dog you see these I don’t know if you had the same the bum and batter crew cuz those ads down my road they would have the nicest [ __ ] dogs of all time the most beautiful dogs and I always think that in general like there’s Lads that just be punching with their dogs you know what I mean like it’s like you can be the most horrible decrepit [ __ ] and pull the most beautiful you’re talking about women no oh dogs lad they get to buy them though yeah hang on what you’re saying that Monsters can’t buy Huskies oh no lad I know what you mean do you know what I mean I actually think if you’re a dog Breer in some absolute troll turned up going I want a beautiful dog you be like I don’t think you deserve a beautiful dog I’d love a sh little smooth dog no you’re not a shiny little smooth dog if I was selling dog the woman I got my dog from she was choosing who she was selling to right yeah yeah she wasn’t like yeah you can have one she was like oh yeah if you’ve got a runty pug who’s like yeah that can go anywhere right like you’re not you’re not going to if one of the lads comes up and says hey I want a dog I’m in the the bum and batter gang you’re going to be like hey do you know what no no they were in a gang they worked for the park the BM and batter gang there was three were employed by the park the park approached the bum and batter gang and like can we employ you city council mate they don’t they were the park they their job was like all they were doing was empty in the park they probably lovely fellas but in more than empty in the Park oh you’re hold on now my think people my thinks actual Scout’s children have been bummed to death he’s taking this Jesus they worked for the park hold on a second are you telling me that the bom and batter gang were not boming or battering no this was just in the this was just when we were k like and there was a bush where Pet o Pete lived no one ever saw him but lived in this bush Don’t Go Near it cuz you get dragged in and shagged and he was a the paring is a bum bum and B you but were was the idea that Pete is just a pedo he won’t batter it it’ll be nice well the rumor was Pete actually got grabbed by them and that’s why he has to live now CU he can’t what it’s one in one out yeah but yeah these these work for the park L how we how old were you oh you talk like like early teens yeah yeah probably like to 13 the Park’s like the best in it yeah right yeah because we we had a guy his name was Joey Lowry right who went around and and this is what I think about like people like with their do with the most these terrible people with the most beautiful luscious dogs look my dog right your dog is gorgeous but you’re gorgeous and you say hey that’s a count and you say that’s a perfect [ __ ] match that’s what I said when I saw it first um but does Wallace deserve you that’s why not count it uh but so Joey Lowry he had this big [ __ ] beautiful like snow husky or some kind of a wolf thing husky but it was lad is it I think all huskies are snow huskies aren’t they right I don’t think there’s ever a Caribbean husky is there not would you not have like a tiporary husky or the old Tippy husk the old tip husky uh up the tip up the tip um up the ace so did mention G no that’s where Bruce got it where oh he got yeah nail up nail up his flu tell me about the dog in a second I just want to say hey to to um uh Allan sock get the a get the a shirt down our our boy that we did the ga special with yeah um uh they won the quiddit World Cup they won the World Cup of GA for for w League the county killed a division 4 area what’s his name name Garin is ital’s his brother well done a Garin you’ve done your paren in in your community proud the a why take it up the a take it up the a um a play Oh mate I’m going back to a g I love that yeah I said we should go back anyway and he’s like yeah come back well they’re all um they’re all coming to see me on October 20th so if you’re in Ireland yeah we’ll come over seeing um Jimmy SWS Jimmy I’m not going but I’m going to be in between both right I probably come with you there’s a country event yeah but you’re in fact this is a great place for an advert right I’m doing these Dan and girl and fiend they’re all sold out apart from Darwin York and Southport they’ll get there we’ve sold uh we’ve got about 60 tickets left in Dublin for Sunday October the 20th it’s a show format that I am [ __ ] loving now we’re in our stride and all the big dogs are coming out to play in Dublin which I think we’re filming aren’t we will we’ve got uh hoglin uh Mike rice young Legend Mike rice and isan oh [ __ ] naar and then afterwards we I’m having a spice bag and and then we’re going out because Adam and Jack and you are over to some country event yeah no Chris Stapleton I’ve been invited but if you’re there I’ll choose you oh so we are having a mother of all nights out in Dublin on that Sunday and I’m not coming back on the Monday right I might never come back F that I might I I think it’s I’m going to come back on Tuesday Morning we’ve got to I want to stay yeah and we can talk about it on the Tuesday that’s the Sunday we’re doing in Dublin is it that is the Sunday tell me about your ugly mate with his beautiful dog well no there was just this [ __ ] Jimmy um Lowry Jimmy Lowry he uh he’s this [ __ ] baly fell he’d always be in the [ __ ] handball alleys in Kil Kenny there he’s like handball there’s a an Irish sport called handball we have a bouncy ball we hit it off a wall but it’s also where you do like you know if you want to do heroin or finger or something what like no turn alley yeah in har Potter yeah there were places where you could play handball or you could do like you could if you good at smoking [ __ ] you go smoke [ __ ] there or which is smoking a cigarette in of course um so if you’re good at that or you liked uh to be with a woman alone with a woman you’d bring her there as well um but this fell used to be always down the alley with this beautiful big white husky and everything as a nicest dog ever silky like friendly ever he was a pedo oh [ __ ] what that’s what I’m saying I think dogs can see the Badness in people cuz Wallace barks at people randomly you know right Wallace barks at pedos Wallace barks are people with no threat to him nothing and he just doesn’t like them he I think dogs can see or well then all post Postman or pedos because Wallace does not like a highz does he no that’s because of the builders in the right right sorry right sorry sorry to all the posters but this guy what I’m saying is you can be a a deplorable the worst kind of human being and you can still pull a lovely lovely dog and it’s the one thing where you can really punch above your way but I did see I was in Dublin one time and there was these two heroin AIT coming across them on the road it was at night and they had this like bulldog and the bulldog did not look happy and whatever they’re like [ __ ] fighting over a bit of her and he like it’s mine Sarah give me that and they like no it’s not shut up Derek they like go the dog as soon as the dog got loose killed himself jumped in front of a bus he was like I’m out here swear swear to God he was like there is no [ __ ] way I’m staying living with these two [ __ ] clowns committed suicide I didn’t see that coming I swear to God as soon as he got one bit of Freedom boss coming he dived in front of it he was like [ __ ] oh no get me out of here knew what that meant [ __ ] bster and in it yeah oh wow yeah lad I swear to God and I just looking me dog me dog no that was you or them that is a very good doublin heroin it’s me dog you have to hit me dog and the bus driver just like I you know he kept going Eed to bring the people wherever and then I’d say they were sad over the dog for about 30 seconds and then they where’s me heroin here and then they forgot poor dog oh no dead on the road and I went over and I just closed its eyes give it a kiss yeah just may may you rest in peace oh my God you’re free from you’re free from the hero I need a break R rip Buster and up the ass what’s happening Lads time to tell you about our absolute favorite sponsor the OG manscaped.com promo code where 20 20% off and free delivery worldwide the best in men’s groom and not just below the belt anymore but for your face as well all sorts of manscape you use all the stuff don’t you I genuinely love it since we’ve been sponsor sponsored by manscape this is exclusively what I use for my balls my PS my chest air and my head they are amazing I used to use cheap like Shavers and razors and it nicked I hated it this stuff is so good very difficult to snag your ball bag when it comes to manscape skin safe technology a little safety light on the ball Shavers you’ve got these performance packages where you can get all sorts of stuff including the nose trimmer they come with the croper and the the underwear that they do as well really comfy very very comfy stuff manscape.com promo code we 20 20% off and free shipping worldwide it is the best stuff you can buy for mail groom and do yourself a favor get yourself some or get a present for someone else yeah these are such good gifts men get [ __ ] gifts I’ve said it before I’ll say it again but not with manscaped shave your bowels for the summer oh nce you won’t be as sweaty and we are back with episode 285 noise here with a hell of a team and Carl regler what was that put me above the team or below it I think above for me nice oh yeah wonderful woman yeah H we’ve got some oh my favorite podcast has ended after 11 years it made me sad oh the around the NFL podcast R oh oh awful I tell you I promise you Lids if anything major happens with this podast we will not leave you hanging like there will be an explanation there will be some sort of counseling offered yeah because they just went quiet miday it just dis they out of nowhere I will be back on Monday and then they weren and everyone went radio silent and it’s hurt my heart I’ve listened to those guys at least twice a week since 2003 and it has right killed me however it’s just a contractual thing NFL media owned by the NFL are pretty [ __ ] tight on the pear strings when it suits them and they just go through these contract like cuts and they’ve done it to these guys either offered I we can’t I haven’t worked out what’s going on but basically one of the guys Greg has gone I need to stay there’s obviously health benefits with medical and all sorts so he stayed and the other two Dan well no because I I still like Greg but the new vehicle that hasn’t been announced yet with Dan hes and Mark I swear to God I hope they start a patreon and I will it will be the first ever patreon that I pay for [ __ ] me I’m so up for them I was genuinely like a I sent you at straight I was like a sorry yeah when uh one of them died Chris wesling died uh three years ago and uh you know that thing of like people feel involved even though they’ve not met you and you’ll get this and we get this a lot like I I got it I get it regularly at shows where people are like oh [ __ ] you’re here and it’s weird at the m out and they feel involved cuz we’ve talked to them even though they’ve not been able to talk back for now nearly 5 years and people get invested and when Chris passed oh my God we’re going nowhere by the way don’t worry um if you did if you did break up what would it be that that did it I think greed no I think we’ve all I think Carl just been a massive Gob oh no um probably car getting offered something else because prob me out growing this yeah I just where car went we’d probably quit the podcast and then just restart why is that funny mik what why is that funny Carol gr it yeah cuz like Carl’s doing well come on Carl’s flying at like I love it here this is the greatest job of all time honestly whatever happens you are like I hope it’s [ __ ] 15 years in the future but uh you know everything if if the podcast finishes in a decade whatever we’ll still exist as an entity doing stuff forever I think we do our own stuff like genuinely I’m going to listen to both new podcasts I’m fine with it I might have my preference I’ve got an idea of you know which one will be my preference but that’s fine not the Greg one maybe not the Greg one but like I I listened to the first episode a snake he not a snake he’s a snake he’s not a snake he is he’s a little snake he’s a weasel he’s a coward it felt all very familiar yeah um but the new one has got that like rebellious element on it what they’re like giving the middle finger showing their [ __ ] or something I hope of us fall out like if it if it if it what what it felt all very familiar you said what’ you mean what Greg being a snitch yeah what was that about sorry no they put out the the new the NFL daily on the old feed which is a little bit it seemed like you were making a d no no I listened to the episode there’s no I’m not today not not today orever or maybe next week when I forgot so yeah I just hope we don’t fall out we will have already fallen out what could we I mean we’ve had some fallouts but not really there’s been what two arguments and we’ve had some [Laughter] spot oh in Nashville what happened oh [ __ ] that was a bit stinky that was the biggest one did someone hit did did anyone did did anyone get like a who what about that no they they all be dead if it was me and me that got that got toxic real quick and to be fair everyone’s good at sorting it out quick because we’re all get own adults who who was it who got no we we were all we all I think it was just it was eight or nine days of being with each other we’ve had three arguments in this company we have one in runor one here and one in Nashville uh one in leads as well oh yeah in leads yeah again sorted out really quick I don’t remember the leads one me me and Adam had a little tiff in Le remember that at the at the bake off me and Dan listen to ad D on the way back oh well then we’ve had a million someone like you oh you’re not counting that as I’m not counting that no cuz we’ve had they up and all the time I’m talking about what a person left here yeah there was a another Welsh guy the other one wasn’t this Welsh guy oh yeah that was a a cker we deal with it pretty well you know you know I think part of it is because no one’s pretty I’m I’m probably the prettiest by a mile prettiest pretty pry than you mate he is the Prett I think he is quite as Skin as actually really nice reddish Hue it’s nice you’ve got a good Irish complexion you’ve got a reddish H you’re like a little la lamp over there your liver is failing think I I’m the prettiest I’m I’m the prettiest by a m i fre I’ll be pretiest yeah but everyone just calls everyone a [ __ ] on the EGS so it makes someone actually go and shut up your [ __ ] less impactful that’s right cuz you’re like oh yeah it’s fine that happens every [ __ ] sometimes you get a bit defensive I’m I’m bad for getting defensive we’ve all but then half an hour later it’s like not like yeah but not last but the word cun is depend like it’s affectionate is it like I called my father a c on the phone the other day he loved it but like a little bit too much he’s like say it again but um uh yeah I that’s my daddy that what you me is like I don’t know it’s part of the course what you meant to you meant to I think we’ve built something and that is that’s got an element of like brother Roman Empire yeah we’re trying to we’re all pushing the same same way but sometimes people want to push you who’s the emperor if it’s Rome who’s Nero gu who gu Adam R yes Jesus Christ do you know hear do you know this fell Nero and the Roman do you ever hear what he did by the way you deserve this and it’s valid but it’s happening cuz if we’re going from that to Nero if we’re going to Classics that quick I’m having a scree it’s just a very quick aside cuz it’s a he uh so he was Emperor anyway he was he was an uh a pup he was a nasty little man killed his mother killed his brother kicked his wife pregnant wife to death kicked her to death the bow Nero yeah he was a pop very bold oh he was as bold as brass and uh next what a nice way of summing that up next thing I he had a slave boy called uh sporus his little slave boy he cuts the [ __ ] and balls off sporus throws a wig on him and marries them yeah sounds like you by the I’m just being spores yeah just being little spores he’s very Progressive I watch his time looking back he was Forward Thinking yes I watched Gladiator for the first time to the day well it’s it’s good yeah but it’s nowhere near the like the this is the greatest film ever made that people make it out Troy is a better Roman film but it was 24 years ago car you know what I mean at the time Troy is a it’s it’s a simplified I think it’s Roman Empire for stupid people Gladiator it’s quite liia it’s like he’s the bad guy he’s the good guy will he meet at the end yes whoa yeah I know yeah but it but it works yeah it’s good but Troy is a better sorry for doing film club in the middle of this Troy is a better representation of that a I think Carl what about Walk Phoenix W than the Shaga sister he does do that don’t he that’s class huh yeah Sor is I mean I what I meant old old people that’s old that old right but do you not think the with walking Phoenix being a little pale creep trying to finger a sister’s class yeah yeah and then and then Russell cow my name is Maximus desus Meridius but I’ve seen that quote that much that it felt like a meme when I saw it right you you again it’s that thing that we talked about is it if You’ got Nostalgia for it I think I I think Groundhog Day is one of the best films ever I don’t know if that stands up but because I’ve watched it so many times throughout my life you’ve watched it so again and again like the movie over and over like when when did you first watch Home Alone Oh when I was young l so you think it’s the best Christmas film ever made I think it’s a wonderful film I watched it like 28 and think it’s one of the worst films and he watched it in July at a barbecue that I still think it’s Joe pes’s best performance as one of the the wet Bandits it it’s got to be up there he’s pretty good he gets hit with so much [ __ ] on the head I mean it’s so hack it’s so pesy hack to be like Good Fellas Casino funny funny house shut up when he gets hit with an iron on the head about my cousin Vinnie oh lad club we do film club go and check out film club by the way if you are not a patreon if you’re on our patreon sign up at patreon.com wordp we’ve got nearly 27,000 lids for a [ __ ] reason join the lid Army the extra content the hour and a half of this [ __ ] every [ __ ] week and then the specials there’s now 40 45 specials we’re going to Amsterdam again again the Soap Box special is coming out next week again maybe it’s coming out next week yeah it’s coming out next week it’s unbelievable and now there is another sub podcast not one that Finn started and [ __ ] off it’s no one was listening to mine so I just sacked off oh it was nice to do though it was yeah it was fun was it a music one it was yeah I did the first one and now there’s film club uh so go and check that out we love film club film club watch alongs lots of different things my cousin Vinnie Marissa to in that film oh hey what am I not joking up over here right we’ve got some good God where what someone talked over it this is this is oh put him put the headphones on him just give new crown jewels jingle it’s for questions oh oh that’s it thank you I felt like Snoop Dogg in the booth you I mean Hey where’s the snare head it’s the [ __ ] um C says oh Cam you’ve put so many questions through really appreciate it yes Lids have you seen that Lily Allen has started an only fans called Lily Allen’s footsy 500 to sell pictures of her feet even better she’s putting up premium toe content for only a tener if you Lads had an only fans what would your price list for different parts of your body be before we answer the content based question which was beautifully set out by Camp lilian’s got banging feet Lilian Lilian yeah Ohan she’s the daughter of the O’Brian who Allen who he uh the who he’s a k isn’t he he’s an actor an actor yeah yeah he’s in train spotting and he’s done some I know was the Sheriff of Nottingham from Robin hood7 didn’t her brother get her his [ __ ] [ __ ] cut off in Game of Thrones Alie yeah yeah he got he got castrated like sporus he’s from before was that a brother yeah yeah that was a brother who got his one of my least favorite characters in the whole of Game of Thrones reek reck yeah but he’s meant to be a little BL oh he’s horrid Ramsey Bolton oh he was a he was a pup so bad he’s good oh unbelievable bad guy yeah wow whenever was like I hated Joffrey You Were Meant to yeah yeah Ramsey that guy’s had to like retire from acting I’ve not watched Game of Thrones people were giving him [ __ ] in the streets Joffrey yeah he did retire and he came he was at a gig of mine in the international in Dublin one time and he left during my set oh he’s a Gob shot and I thought what an awful actor I said harsh terrible but no he did retire but but I don’t know the money’s after running out and he’s he’s he’s back looking for a greasy little pound again but he did his job yeah he was the most one of the worst bad guys most hateful little [ __ ] in in TV and film history yeah he nailed it everyone hated him that’s right and it’s sco at his career is is is aan GNA be the new one haven’t seen the end of the episode yet got 15 minutes to go right how’s your dragon uh I haven’t I haven’t I’ve watched half 40 minutes i’ like come on come on come on pay off mate jeeez Louise I’m excited they’ve got 15 20 minutes to go I stopped watching after halfway through the first season when they changed the actress for your one yeah but that’s T I didn’t like that I didn’t I don’t care it can’t just put you know I like the first one she was really hot 15 or something she was [ __ ] maybe but it doesn’t the actress wasn’t I looked it up I Googled it so the actress is like 19 it’s good Lily Allen banging feet little cutie I’m not a I’m not a footman yeah never been a footman a lot of uh porn is like oh she got wanked off with your feet I’m like what are we doing here like monkeys no yeah yeah it’s a monkey thing they that would be a better hand job a foot hand job from a monkey monkey monkey little look his littley hands on your dick making it look bigger I’d love to get wanked off by a ringtailed lemur have you ever put a put pair of feet in your mouth and sucked on them yeah yeah not a PA at the same time huh that’s a small person I can’t with my wife a quar uh you shouldn’t have put a bun on it toes yeah I’m into I I to havee my wife’s got like almost deformed levels of large big toe yeah oh something like really are they he real [ __ ] troll thumbs really oh yeah yeah yeah is the are they is it it’s I’m not even joking it’s it’s just been a running thing she’s got [ __ ] CLA Hoppers and would you not give them you can’t knock her off balance but would you not say there’s would you not say there’s no more than more strong showing of your love than to kiss these wretched Paws yeah you know what I mean she’s a size six but she’s got size nine toes right it’s it’s difficult to watch she like half toe oh yeah half foot yeah she like when you know this when they feel where your toe is when you’re a kid yeah like it’s it starts then she’s long can she like pick things up does she are they dous Talons unbelievable has she ever touched your knob with her feet no cuz she’d hurt me she’d hurt it she she stubbed her toe once in the house and broke a door frame clip it how much you it’s not I don’t even need it to go on the internet I just want to send it to Laura can we work from the top down from you done yeah right like your head well that’s got to be the big one inin it cuz I don’t like getting the Hat offact the older I get the less I like my Dome yes I’m watch your charge people to see the head um the head of the dick and the head of the man I think they’re the absolute I’ll give most of the rest of me away for free I think the first entry level little uh pick would be runy my tattoo on my bum how you paying for that you can have that for a fiver yeah that might even be one of the previews on on only fans you know they give it away for I’ve not researched it I don’t know the website right is a website only fans a website oh cool um I don’t think anyone needs my shins I mean my shoulders they get in there honestly I’m a lat pull down man yeah a latman I’m a I’m a lat pull down I’m a latzman um but I don’t think I’m making much money from all of this are you charging different for a rectum fled I thought you said my rectum I I’m never putting my bumo I don’t I haven’t seen my bumo I’ve never seen my bum I don’t think you should sell a picture of a part of your body yeah that you haven’t seen yourself they can’t sign off on yeah uh Carl your AR had surely fetch a bit of money few we’re going Sizzler be ass for this I’m talking to Grand right cuz you’ve got a hoop on you you’ve like a little Nicki Minaj hoop on you are you up to your total on for Zoe’s place because you could build a conservatory with that Bund I’ve already surely fins nipples then I’m my hands isn’t it is it yeah yeah my hands I reckon just fingering a woman or just like out just holding different [ __ ] oh yeah I’m going to put them away now Money Maker no I’m not Hey Oh away for free you realize there a profile camera oh your index finger and my wife’s big toes middle finger middle finger the have you seen his fingers no just show them there quick you edit it just CAU it away can you tickle me at a break all right I described it as he can carve his initials in tomorrow’s shite he can check for all types of cancer prostate lung he gets right in there good God Almighty they’re piano fingers you would have been good on the twinklers har flinched that’s not a good sign what I just saw Harry Robinson go Jesus he’s like got oldest listener that now works for the company he just went [ __ ] poor old Finn’s paw he can played pause Mike he can play the piano through a letter box I say can I say you’re good to play the old upside down piano you devil huh [ __ ] Stevie no wonder uh yeah I don’t think uh I I think your Bund would make my [ __ ] not your [ __ ] though come on no but if that’s an extra do you want to spend another grand you you can see [ __ ] hell it’s a grand to see my bom Harry Harry could you just whip on to Lily Allen’s um Lily all’s only fans quick Carl just said it’s a grand C but so if someone SL into your DM went I’ll donate a grand to Zoe’s Place send him a picture of their ass to my me my bank oh oh right it’s a selfish thing I’ve already raised uh Zoe’s Place yeah they they those dying kids have had enough aren’t they well I’ll show them your ass then that’s what they want do you ever feel like sexy walking around with a big ass like that do you feel like people are looking stupid um well apparently I’m not allowed to be naked in my own house Mike why because it’s it causes a no Dan told me no hang on whoa what right they are [ __ ] great feet look at them feet cracking have you signed up for that cracking little feet all right okay ah yeah guess who’s going through a divorce Lily ah Li um this is my thing with house nudity you can be naked wherever you want to be but if your front room curtains are open I’ve got shs and you’re front of course you have t and the shutters are foke oh white venan bespoke [ __ ] I you CH the only house in Spanish Spanish heighton right if you can’t just be like curtains open dick out it’s [ __ ] 20 to9 the school runs happening and every kid’s like Mommy so you were doing it to children no no but they could do and his argument is it’s my house why you looking in to that’s so you’re saying curious children should see your [ __ ] kind of thing no okay I am usually naked in my house right the only time I gown up is if the Pokemon knocks you gown up I’ve got I’ve got I’ve got four dressing Cinderella yeah four dressing guns but spoke I’ve actually one we name on cuz I’m AI oh yeah right um and I I walk around naked and make most of the time it’s my house right but sometimes I’ll like oh [ __ ] I got to walk into the living room so I’ll run in and run out again I find nudity OD like I did a massage have you ever had a proper massage yeah pants I’m a pants on man jeans for the massage I this fill Henry and he said pants off and then I was like all right okay but then and he was giving me theage anyway he had rough hands in him like a builder or something you what I mean was it where was it what in London place in shage Henry horrible Henry so I was there and he’s giving me the massage and I was so strong he was so strong that I felt like very quite vulnerable like you what I mean but then like and he was putting on the muscles and in my body every I felt was like ah you like that like kind of a just oh but I didn’t want to do that cuz I felt he was a builder so I was like oh no never make that sound so I I turned down on a male massage recently in Spain right because i’ clearly I’ve got some issues lad I tell you what he did then right he came he came down towards my ass yeah my bomb that’s not for Henry next thing comes down puts his elbow into my glute I I had two glutes one he say and he puts show off elbow in Vladimir gluten and gluten K and he puts the elbow in and he just moves it out to the left like this on my glute and my AR cheeks just gently spread apart and don’t that little cold wind hitting your assle just my AR is like your father he was your ass’s Moses yeah it was the first first person first white person to give him an erection ever like an accordion yeah it was honestly and my art so parted like that and I was like I felt like so vulnerable I was like Henry spread my ass cheeks apart here he’s clearly worked on the SES for years he’s you know a red blooded man to was there a towel huh but the towel he had pulled put down so the crack of my the AR it was down the crack so now it was all opening like you it was Moses it was the Bible it was Judaism and uh so he’s open it up and then he you’re just like [ __ ] hell and this is what you didn’t want now to his eternal credit he did not molest me that’s good right to his eternal credit and I wrote that review but if I if if I had an ass like yours Henry couldn’t he’s only flesh and blood do you what I mean so you were smart you I just I just felt weird and that might be some deep-seated from school homophobia but I was like it’s a man I just don’t want him to be sensual with me I don’t know why not would an ass like that girl yeah I didn’t want to get naked in fronts of and be sensual he’d forget you were a man he would just you think this is Kim Kardashian on my table I’m fine I’m fine if the man’s Chinese oh yeah yeah because he can beat him up no a Chinese man it’s part of the wi he’d be claiming on top you and he’d be yeah like yeah I think so your are old my precious um they’re born with the Special Touch did well do you know what it is they’re just like you can see in their they’re all business you know what I mean the they’re just like there’s nothing Central no they’re getting the knots out I I had a tie one once a woman and she climbed up on me like a little cat and she was up and top and down my back now what if Henry did that huh what I would have died Henry was a [ __ ] chunky monkey like I don’t even think he was a licensed massuse to be honest I don’t know how this L he’s like you’re all right mate I was like where was shouldn’t you be from Taiwan or something was in the back of a Transit van where was it where did he have a shop there was a park it was behind he said something about uh bom and bar I used to be a Parky yeah I used to be a Parky no it was just in this place in shortage and I don’t know I’d say he’s after he was maybe a h a plumber or something and it’s just maybe his wife left him he had a midlife crisis and he was like I’m going to [ __ ] touch people now I mean what Chipman did yeah did he yeah he was a licensed Miss and then he and then he just started killing all women right but there comes a time when you’re like cuz in my mind there comes a time when where does beina massuse le to you have to go to the next level and that’s usually not killing pensioners well listen it’s happened to one person yeah Harold Chipman Harold Chipman and that’s the only one we know of exactly but that’s you know could be Henry Shipman for all you know his dad dastardly little brother is dastardly but you know do you get this do you have a thing with your BM hole I can never be sure if it’s clean do you know what I mean that’s why I’ve got a Japanese toilet seed right it’s been a while yeah but even if I clean it I think fully half an hour later it could be it could be like Gaza down there well it probably is do you know what I mean I jet wash it huh I jet wash it and dry it and dry it he’s got a C got to dry it on it yeah and would you have your lady would you tell her hey go have a look at that now me ask yes [Laughter] no would you say you can check yourself though can’t you what you a finger oh yeah yeah but risky game that it well it’s an awful place to send a full- grown woman she’s gone to University got a job you know what I mean she you know takes care of her parents and then send her around to your [ __ ] it’s an awful thing to do to it’s always spotless we’ve always you know You’ got to have a lot of hand wash talking about just in case yeah don’t do it like on the bus no there’s nothing less edifying than seeing someone rooting around their bum around your buo no that’s on a bus that is oh that’s out of order is it oh yeah this is but I just think cuz because we have a [ __ ] like God gave us God gave us a [ __ ] up our ass right so he wants us to be penetrated by things and objects is it real isan I’ve never enjoyed the bumol come because she’s not finding your she’s not going anywhere near it it’s a miracle getting it to touch my dick like trying to feed a [ __ ] wild deer very jumpy she’s jumpy she’s frightened the the the prospect of getting a digit up my well put your own finger up there while she’s wanking you off about a toe oh yeah from next door that’s me dead yeah put your own one up show don’t tell kind of like look at that I’ve tried the I’ve tried the bum all it’s I don’t know I’m too Anglo Saxon to enjoy suon on my ass I’m think I’m the same but what I’m saying is we have a [ __ ] up there and women are I wouldn’t mind but they’re always like oh men can’t find out oh they should all be burnt alive most most of them aren’t even looking for our one the lazy [ __ ] we don’t hear us complaining yeah but our is really well hidden in a dirty dir I mean it’s the they he’s put it in the worst place he possibly could yeah it’s like a it’s a hor Crux op R what I mean yeah what CRA isn’t it m vort got Voldemort’s got a [ __ ] huh isn’t it mad that Voldemort’s got a dick he does have one Ray fin what Ray F Ray fines got a dick but Voldemort’s got a dick he’s only a man right I just think it’s m he has needs he’s hasn’t it dropped off with all the evil like his nose I think make more Ser no I no but I think bits have fallen off aldort because of the all the evil I think his dick went on the on the 20th murder it happened to harle Chipman this dick just fell off cuz all the evil called all the evil ort Voldemort was a massure right little know fact but that’s where it starts that’s where it starts the Gateway if you’re touching if you’re lading up and touching people for money all that where do you think that’s going to lead to taking on Dumbledore in a Do or Die battle I don’t know about you Lids but I’m having a great time today this has been absolute vintage podcasting right let’s have a break we’ve got the young Phenom Victorio angelone nasty little man nasty little greedy little man um noise oh hey did didn’t see you there there you are it’s it’s my favorite sponsor time now it’s not VPN well down if there’re your favorite sponsor you my friend must know exactly what a VPN is no because you’ve never explain what it is I feel I’ve done this for very consistent am time well I choose to forget here’s what a VPN is it’s a way to up your internet security whilst also tricking your laptop computer or whatever whatever device you use into tricking you are anywhere on the planet you can take a little digital holiday to bots SW it if you like me yeah you want to go to New Zealand don’t get on a plane get a VPN tell your laptop you’re in New Zealand and you just have to believe it if you can dream it you can believe it and that means you can achieve it and if you go to nordvpn.com havw and sign up for two years you’ll get four extra months free that’s nordvpn.com have aw and here’s the thing you get loads of stuff with this the stuff that’s on Netflix in different countries that aren’t in this country you know what I mean just tell your laptop you’re in Nigeria get a bit of Nigerian filming your life you know what I mean oh yeah can’t wait to watch Disney plus from Greenland nordvpn.com four months free and you sign up for 24 months do it and we are back episode 285 nice God what part is it though part three of seven it’s an extended bumper episode because Finn loves editing you’re going to upset them now and it’s just um future household name Victorio angelone is here who you must be a household name in some houses mom my house the pap phen on woo yeah papen we know your name in my house that’s papist comedians this papist Phenom this papist scumbag did did English people cuz Mike and I have been spending a lot of time recently doing Ian Paisley Impressions did you were you like cognizant from Dar I will not relinquish me is that is that kind of you know like William Olman you know that Harry anfield character oh [ __ ] brilliant I have a made a peaceful and legitimate request for cheese and pineapple on a stick who’s the guy that sung in the glasses at Jerry Adams and now am J Adams yeah he had the glasses with beard when I was a kid I didn’t interrupt you so don’t interrupt me that’s I mean we never heard him growing up because he his voice wasn’t allowed on on UK television yeah they’d have a little and I really think they missed a trick just making it sound normal yeah they it would have been so good if Jerry Adams was like no listen to me you know we want what we want Shin they mask his voice did you not know this so they like Jerry Adams like they didn’t want his like they thought his voice was so potently Catholic or something like I still don’t really understand the rationale for they will be hypnotized by the people undertones of his devilish voice also how [ __ ] was TV when I was a kid that I remember what like Jerry Adams one I was like well there’s nothing else on let’s watch someone talk pretending to be Jerry Adams and I still watch it voice act he was dobbed over and it wasn’t was a we Mexican dude he okay he okay we won to United Ireland we didn’t do nothing hey you guys are crazy 800 years you take the same voice actor as spedy Gonzalez I was never officially in the I who the [ __ ] is that that you just did oh you just did Mo from Madagascar you absolutely nailed that and that is a niche reference but you accidentally nailed more I don’t even know what one in my oh my God have a little a little check yeah such such a bad flashback um so from Jerry Adams to Victorio angelone the using his real we’re using his real voice we’ve decided maybe the two most controversial Belfast men to ever enter the public eye that’s a high angeloni and Adams that’s a high bar I would say great podcast though two men two men behind a lot of bombings oh nice oh good F yeah it’s lovely to be here I haven’t been it feels like I haven’t been here in a while I’ve also had a different haircut every time I’ve been on this podcast I’ve realized that’s right you’ve got hair you treat it badly see what happens he’s getting very cool he’s into getting trendy and doing drugs now oh I haven’t done any drugs that’s you have done drugs you were [ __ ] high as a kite there Alfie Brown gave me a gummy bear that was more potent than I was expecting were you who was there it was at one of Adam’s Lester Square Theater gigs and Jack was there wherever he is the [ __ ] bastard and Jack said no to your gummy bear and I dove in front of that gummy bullet that [ __ ] me you convin saying no you need to say no that should be a rule for Life how many milligrams are we talking I don’t even what’s the strong what’s the strong strong one half a kilo strong I think gummy bear was like this big it was a real life Bear yeah so B we we finished we finished at L Square theater and we’re just wandering through like we’ve gotten a pint maybe or something and I think Jack Alfie has these gummy bears and um H Jack was going to the next Pub but I was just going home and uh Alie like offered a gummy bear to Jack being like Oh I want a gummy bear and Jack was like no I’m going to the next Pub so that’s a bit much and then Jack turns to me and goes but if you’re just going home to like go to sleep that’ll be perfect for you and I was just like in a good mood so it was like okay um and then walking over to get a taxi with Alfie and Alfie goes Alfie goes is yours kicked in and I went no I don’t really think so and Alfie goes it looks like it’s kicked in and then I turned to Alfie and went yeah yours looks like it’s kicked in as well and then I get into the Uber and I close the door and I swear to [ __ ] like do you know in Star Wars when the Millennium Falcon like goes into like and all the stars go past that’s what like I turned to like wave at Alie out the taxi window and that’s what it looked like I was like oh no no no no no no Uber on the way home and the Uber driver sounded like chewbaca easy chewy bring you home I will but so and we had we had a McDonald’s in our hand and I immediately got so paranoid that I wasn’t allowed to eat the food in the Uber I was like oh oh [ __ ] what did I do so I I and I couldn’t speak I knew I couldn’t speak the guy was like oh you going to this address and I was like and just holding my little bag of chips and we’re on the way everything’s Grand it feels like I’m in the Uber for maybe 3 days something in and around that maybe and then pulls in he goes I just need to pull in here for a second pulls into patrol station doesn’t doesn’t go to the pump just parks in the petrol station and goes into the shop and I have no idea what’s happening I’m just satting in the back of the car he’s not there anymore I’m still sneaking chips so he doesn’t find out that I’ve eaten in the back of it I’m like like a little [ __ ] like Speedy guns out just [ __ ] don’t look at me I don’t know anything and then he’s in there and then over the course of him being in the petrol station getting like a sandwich or whatever which I don’t think should be allowed no that’s Madness nah isn’t it like if you need to fill up a petrol that’s okay that’s I need the petrol as well go in the shop if you got a passenger is insanity isn’t that so I mean there’s a chance that I hallucinated all of this yeah but I think that he just went into the shop and I’m sat there freaking out and I convinced myself that he’s gone home and I’m just in his car now and I’m like he’s he’s forgotten that I was there cuz why would he go to the shop if he knew that I was there so I convinced myself that he’d gone home and then again two to three working days later he gets back into the front of the Uber with his big shop with a full like like com back with with a trolley there’s the detergent in there you know drives up to the house which is like probably 5 minutes away from whatever petrol station that turned out to be I get out and I’m like freaking out with my little McDonald’s and I walk down towards the block of flat that I live in and I’ve been having like a real like um like a territory like a kind of cold war with the foxes outside my flat right they’re getting ballsy do you have foxes near you little Russian foxes they’re getting mad they’re they they’ll walk out into the middle of the path piss in front of where you need to walk and then walk off just on two legs smoking [ __ ] you mate piss right so I’m I I’ve decided in my [ __ ] gummy bear land that I’m going to make a truce with with the foxes love that so I started an olive branch and I’m extending an olive branch to the foxes I think this is a nice like garbev and Reagan had to be you offered your chips I didn’t offer I started scattering them around the garden right of the block of flats yes and and the foxes can only hear like really high [ __ ] so I was at like 3: in the morning at my own block of flats scattering chips going w and then like whistling every so often cuz they can hear like a big [ __ ] and just throwing that was nice throwing chips around that was sick the dance in my RO when I was a kid could do that and I was always jealous there was one could do it without his oh just that my cousin do that he’s my cousin does that what’s he doing he’s just an Arab what is this he’s Lebanese he do with his own teeth Carl grew up next to them but he got like and it was like the loudest whistle ever foxes everywhere but he could do it with like his elbows you you know you’re you know you’re not whistling right right okay I just T in your head you might have thought no yeah Carl grew up next to the Taliban like if he just touched his face he whistle like a proper Pro whistle yeah that is a boss that is a boss move that’s mad yeah um did the foxes come did you draw out the foxes I have no idea because then I got really worried that I couldn’t bring my McDonald’s rapper upstairs cuz my girlfriend would be annoyed if I’d had a McDonald’s so and she wouldn’t be but I was just freaking out so I was like I can’t bring this upstairs and I ran across the road to somebody else’s skip who was having like work done threw the rest of the McDonald’s in there but still had my cup and then as I got to the door I was like looked at my own cup with the big am and was like [ __ ] I’m an idiot I’ve given it away so I get the lift back down to the ground floor of my block of flats and set it on the wall outside the block of flats and go I’ll drink it in the morning makes sense did did you sleep well I yeah I think I lost a day and that’s Jack that should have been Jack’s McDonald’s yeah weed weed sleep’s good sleep I think isn’t it I don’t think it counts do you know what I mean like you don’t rest you’re not you’re not like as sleep you Swit but it’s not yeah you get to sleep but you don’t get a deep sleep no it’ll yeah you’ll can’t go out very very quickly but when you wake up in the morning you feel like you’ve like been running right rather than sleeping make sense your brain does too much sleep’s what like recovers you doesn’t it so you’re not right this is where we are now as a I mean personally this is where in my battle with addiction anything that his actual textbook looks like drugs I I am not allowed to touch we’ve had there’s been a pretty pretty strong edict given down from my wife about the future of our relationship you’re not allowed to be a dry anymore no more druggies however there’s there’s technicalities there’s technicality drugs in there like gummy bears and [ __ ] chocolate dinosaurs that’s where I’m all at now put Leo in like a sheer but lemon yes exactly it’s a sh cocaine fruit pastels hey cocaine dust fruit pastels is a good idea that’s a dip dab but it’s just a big bag of cat yeah nice I’ve never done the cat you’ve done cat the cat can I have three cats please I’ve never done the Cat my father’s an architect and I ref I’m a d I’m scared of everything and rightly I I was in a good mood and took a gummy bear and thought I’d been kidnapped by driver edes are dangerous scary biscuits yeah yeah catman’s well worse so much worse if you when people go oh I’ve not done that you can avoid that one that’s not one you’re like ah come on give it a try it’ll be a laugh you don’t have to take cat off you’re get locked in a disabled toilet that you can’t get out of it’s [ __ ] hard work one of my favorite like little internet things that goes around every so often have you seen it where a guy leaves a bag of cat in his hotel H room and comes back to find the clean the cleaner thought it was coke and he’s just [ __ ] like a little Mex guy and he he can’t move cuz he’s done a bag of a little man just a little Jerry Adam oh yeah I’m in a Kole okay I can’t free a country in this Kole man St can’t get United island with this K home pretty good Chico I I I I would Mexican be the best Cherry aam’s voice to come in Chinese Jerry Adams Come on listen everybody wants everybody’s leaving his career is on fire let’s not ruin that one I’m just keeping eye I think you should tag team in for Jerry Adams for Chinese Jerry Adams all yours the whole country as us the whole country that’s Japanese you know give me back to six counties six counties very Japanese yeah yeah well that’s in the trailer have you ever seen Carl as a Japanese guy have you ever seen David mcsavage is very very funny joke which is online so I’m not like like giving away material that he’s doing about Asians you no you can do there’s only certain like you’re not supposed to just do accents anymore like on stage that’s bad or whatever I mean bad podcast to make that point maybe and going need the lead of Scientology huh no you’re thinking mavage which is close yeah very very close David mavage who was in Calvary and also had a sketch show in Ireland very funny comedian and he had a really funny joke of like accents that you can mix together and the best one is Scottish and Japanese and then for like three minutes on stage he goes abely just fuckingass it’s so good isn’t it lad speaking to Max M scavage the Scientology lad the V was only telling me dur day she about what Tom Cruz does on his birthday thought you put a bat do you know you’ve got the bat in your hand I do have you’ve forgotten what’s you lad I’m so in love with holding it’s unbelievable got a h you know huh got a h got a h i love a h if I could hold a h i feel like it’s putting attention into the room Michael huh it’s putting attention into the room I think that’ll make us all perform our best don’t give him a [ __ ] hell I think I think we’ll all perform our best if there’s a little bit of a fear of if you if if you [ __ ] throw in a clanger you get bit of that back to the South kill Kenny under n’s days that’s right have your rules podcast oh lad that is so sick the grip the grip’s going quite high that I will say allad custom that is so beautiful from the AF boys for the for the audio listeners we uh yeah I’m gripping this hurl now like a big [ __ ] juicy have you seen kak man uh dude have you seen Brave heart yeah it feels like that it feels like the Mad Irishman with the weapon oh Jesus we we talked about it before me and uh V po but the the way you get fired up in the ga before a game is like nothing you’ve ever seen in your life like they’ll bring in like hundreds of years worth of Family Feud it’s like do you want this John do you [ __ ] want it we act like you want it your father was a coward are you going to let your whole family be seen as cowards Jud Patrick you’re not L to be just [ __ ] wasn’t one of them called like bastard O Sullivan and he was like the Avest kid ever bastard O Sullivan the best J player yeah bastardos have you heard of bastardo solivan I’ve not I know if you were siiv who would have been bastards I get the vibe of them but the G he’s a big boy and he ate like the longest ever shot ever is that not the rock yeah the rock not bastard you know oh you’re thinking dear suvin the rock yeah yeah the rock oh it’s not the rock no I know who he’s he was thinking about there was that famous video where he like was a and like almost the full length of the so he was he was a cork fullback I of think of Brock Lesnar yeah played full back his name The Rock The Rock he was known as the RO Bard I just thought there was a a big bastard O Sullivan big [ __ ] it also works it I know and he was a bastard like he was a he was an absolute Dien wool [ __ ] but and there was a nastiness to him I wouldn’t be surprised now like he’s someone who’s just killed men with with his hands just crushed any of those preh helmet hurlers terrify me well they were kind of hoping to get brain damage make them like have less fear and so they didn’t have a coward’s legacy that’s right is a great player 100 if you came out back in say the 70s and ‘ 80s if you were like finished your hurling career and you had full mental faculty you were a [ __ ] coward he you were a [ __ ] the man’s 44 he doesn’t even have dementia yeah even it’s like Trump talk talking to John McCain about being like captured he was like I think real heroes don’t get captured yeah like that was left one arm can’t he you know he can only lift either arm to that high yeah you can’t do ymci yeah he can’t do which is a real that’s the big you can do the MC you can do the MC maybe not he can do like a low M but it does just look like he’s kind of gesturing towards his deck and then the C kind of becomes like a like a g like a lowercase G and then the a very weird very Japanese yeah namaste United Ireland we need no yeah but it’s that thing of like you had to actually I just I felt the regret just on that last one he’s like oh jesz we’ moved so far away from the accents he just brought it all just brought it accents is equals Talent if you do jod coma huh is the perfect example jod coma yeah the actor she’s can do every accent she told she’s always doing Mexican Jerry Adams that’s her big thing we’ve kind of taken that off her a little bit today but I think I think she would she would it’s like in her Legacy we’re doing Mexican J also the best game ever people who can’t do accents loads of fun like no one wants to see you do it fine kind of fine you either have to be exceptional yeah shout out Kev Finn who I worked with for the first time on Thursday who’s a who I mean he is unbelievable his dad’s from Huddersfield he’s Canadian and and then his dad move to Liverpool his York West Yorkshire accent and his Scouts accent he does a bit about theout scousers that if I wrote as a as a wool essentially like I’m from Preston would never have been accepted by scousers they’ have been like lad shut the [ __ ] up what are you talking about because he’s can because he’s Canadian they’re like he’s [ __ ] nailed it here it’s brilliantly when it’s done well but when when we force call to it it’s so fun I’ve never got it rolling but when Carl rolls into one and it’s so wrong it’s so [ __ ] beautiful love an absolute car crash accent Liverpool’s got to be like one of the highest bars for when they’ll accept you doing that accent like most people are like okay if you’re like like I don’t get that bothered if people do like most people who try to do a northern Irish accent on the circuit at all do it really really badly so but it’s always with the same joke in it friendly Irish and scary Irish like oh cool cool like like not that I haven’t been The [ __ ] that probably did that early doors great job but that’s time Mike’s being called friendly with a [ __ ] yeah this really disproves the friendly Irish scary Irish thing yeah um but yeah to to do a scout accent two scousers got to be pretty good it Milo is incredible Milo does it Milo is very good at it and his mom is Scout Alfie’s mom is from Liverpool it’s unbelievable I have spent every waking hour for the last four and a half years with these guys in my life mind’s getting there but it’s still a caricature isn’t it yeah like yeah Newcastle I just watch so many comedians because I started out in Newcastle just wander up learn one place name oh re Hunter like I’m not from around here I’m from middle bro nice slly hell been unbelievable that’s a [ __ ] joke that’s a [ __ ] J massive black L it’s clearly [ __ ] not and that’s where the comedy lays unbelievable understand if you met mention the [ __ ] Metro I will lose my [ __ ] [ __ ] quality Finn’s got a SC I yeah what go on Finn give it a what are you doing why not yes you are I can’t believe in yourself you can’t it’s like iffy some days it’s all right go on say just give it a give it a [ __ ] lash I’m better at doing scal woman do um Freedom Brave heart Freedom B turn off I either [ __ ] Sky Man sound like what a minute I got get into it honestly I need my ear need a warm line what is my so so you’re brave your M Brave do you need like a word to get into it just say the N word I think we always say you can take our land but you cannot take our freedom and really give it give it sucks it’s going to be [ __ ] now no it won’t no it’ll be good lad sometimes it’s good down [ __ ] game lad he [ __ ] H you can take our land but you can’t [ __ ] take our freedom Carl’s the judge in the room on this that was like you didn’t you’re in Spain and you go where where are you from from Liverpool and they go h no you’re not go I’m actually from New Brighton but you know so that was a good New Brighton so that was a good wall good wall I’ll take it that’s not a compliment it does not mean I don’t care that’s a good wall but they were yeah from Liverpool about well you know just like about half an hour out [ __ ] off like I don’t mind that when people do that loads of people do that from Bast if they’re from like near Bast they’ll just tell everybody they’re from Bast because who the [ __ ] knows what lesb bur is yeah exactly do you know what I mean but you guys get real angry about it they CLA rules yeah but what what do what haven’t they earned do you know what I mean what you mean like what they no you can’t claim it’s cuz they claim it right but that but people from outside live but Bast claimed to be from Bast and you like these people I don’t mind I don’t have a [ __ ] problem with it who would you pick to come to your house if it was between like a local Belfast guy or like one of these Lisbon people well the Belfast is maybe a slightly more divided city than Liverpool is are they called lisans lisbians lisbians lisbians they are lisbians they have a parade every year yeah different different parade thebian lesbian shame but it is it’s bonfire marching time in in Northern Ireland at the minute oh is it big big bonfire get the flut out somebody fell off one recently there’s a police car on top of one of them for the first time that’s big excitement that’s in the news today top of what’s the one that’s being made with the is that it’s like it there’s houses near it that’s so many of them but it’s it’s colossal that’s so many of them again W this the one that like has the four entryways up the top like could fall on a house get a picture up of the big like can you explain what this I don’t know what this is so every year uh on the 11th of July the night of the 11th of July like all the Protestants in Northern Ireland boo boo Bo they get together and they H celebrate the battle of the bo which is basically when o uh which is basically when you’ve got one of them TVs that I’ve got sorry to get so distracted immediately the Samsung TVs that have the channels ADH are on there last for no but the channels but it’s not channels it’s each TV show has its own channel yeah like Dragon Den’s got one there’s a channel that only shows Dragon Den like like just at all times there’s a Condy with me channel there’s I really thought I was being [ __ ] like pranked by the prank Patrol when I which is also a channel on the so hang on is this the the the orange the orange Mark bastards sorry the orange Mark is that is that same time is it this that’s a good old joke what’s the difference between an apple and an orange there’s no such thing as an apple bastard nice and so what’s this T I don’t know anything so they do bonfires on the 11th of July and then they march on the 12th of July so they just build these enormous bonfires out of pallets like right next to their houses and loads of houses get burned down every year people die every year falling off them and this year they’ve put a police car on top of them so why did they do do it if people are dying cuz cuz it’s their culture Carl lad I tell you what try and get a pallet in Northern Ireland in August you’re going to really struggle that’s right [ __ ] incredible stru guy FKS yeah but I mean it is the similar anti- Catholic sentiments but instead of like a a thing of guy Fox they’ll put up like shin fan politicians or like what would be the guy would that be sh Shin politicians or like there was one time they love an old Pope burning yeah they put the pope up there and they’ll also put like like uh terminally ill there was a young terminally ill Celtic fan yeah and they put a little dummy of him yeah up there they’re good lads they’re good lads the humor can go the humor can go too far when I was a kid I thought shim Fame was a person wow yeah like lad zaplin like Shen yeah I thought shim Fame was like the leader of like Aron venger for Arsenal right you thought that that was yeah ARS Banger really like do you think that’s why he went to Arsenal for all those years I just got a yeah I got a nobody nobody else has that I say we never got I’ve probably said this before but we never got any Irish history in school at all yeah nothing that’s weird even in Liverpool you would think like you’re getting some yeah yeah like that be because it’s not a it’s doesn’t reflect well on us really but also like you know what to be fair to you like you know you’ve got the whole empire if you go into Ireland you have to go into [ __ ] Africa you have to go into IND do you know what I mean let’s keep it we won the world C cup 66 Bobby Charlton that’s all you need to know that fat H Churchill two loal box Hitler one two world wars One World Cup that’s that’s the end of History sick yeah so cool but it all ENT links did I ever tell you about I went to see a play about uh like the Indian Revolution and the guy was really inspired by the IRA like he was reading books about the IRA when he was trying so there was like Gand Gandhi was inspired you mean no Gandhi wasn’t Gandhi was like the peaceful side of it doing like the marches and touching kids and stuff but then the um the there was like a violent faction to the Indian re of the Indian kind of that but like Prema malcolmx like aggressive kill the white man type thing and they were very inspired by the IRA CU they were seen as people who’d like taken on the British and like won 20 years before they’ [ __ ] done it was like R down in the valley I love the r d represents India in this yeah but uh this place this guy was really buzzing about the IRA and he was like but he was talking to his mom and he’s like but Mom this is like it says that Shin fan did this Shen fan did that and his mom goes but you’re not Shen fan and I was the only person in the theater to laugh at this next line at Shakespeare’s Globe but I promised the guy who was my mate was playing the part turned to his mom and went we are the shin fan of India Jerry Adams voice say that again say that again what the the we are the shin fan of India yeah I just wanted to UNC count uh that was a good accent that my of India um yeah nobody else laughed I felt so stupid in the theater just like pissing myself laughing at what I thought that’s the funniest line maybe no one else yeah true the accent that was sick what did he say yeah I tell you the the Irish and the I think the Irish and the Indians get get on well one of my uh ex lovers the Irish and everyone get on well mate you’re loved internationally the Irish and the Irish don’t get on hm no I mean the home fixtures are a nightmare but they away they call themselves British though the ones that don’t get on with the other ones involved I’ve backed off yeah you don’t even talk about the old firm now we’re talking about the actual troubles K-pop old FM and Taylor Swift don’t touch [ __ ] Taylor Swift don’t attention in the room you don’t like cruel Kpop and the old FM you didn’t like Cruel Summer you didn’t think that was a good song what the [ __ ] we need to make no we need to make the we need to make the old fir a person and then we can do an actual shag Mario void so we have Taylor Swift We have what’s that what’s the K-pop band what’s the big one uh black BTS they’re men and Neil lenon yeah well they’re like but they’re Asian men which is like women adjacent right the closest yeah don’t start a war on podcast and who Island sh Mario void you’ve got BTS Taylor Swift and like Neil Lennon it has to be Neil lenon right a 100% wait now you you’d like to so you want to kill Neil is what you’re saying no no right but then and then what’s it so shag Mar kill right yeah yeah yeah that’s the Val oh you actually want to do it yeah because well we’ll call this the Guide to Parenting section right but no so but you will you you I’m shagging the Korean boys well you’re going to those those [ __ ] silky soft bums you’re going to then you’re Maring Taylor for the mul aren’t you exactly and then you throw her off a boat somewhere she doesn’t get boat also beat it that’s four so you can marry her and then kill her yeah yeah yeah oh nail died for nothing yeah maybe you Mar NE Enon but he’s got nothing no lad he’s got stories he’s got no tactics he’s a great P he’s got stories’s a great P but he has too many of them right but but then his dick vide of immediately post resigning from Celtic sad oh really sad State like just your dad and [ __ ] in his pants but he’s but he’s at least he’s home you know Taylor’s always on tour that’s true if you want companionship Mar Neil Lennon are we can’t yeah I can’t believe that was a valid sentence yeah it was beautiful th lon’s going nowhere he’s got no offers that’s right where to go yeah you have to deal with the occasional bullet in the post but that that’s fine it’s of the that’s fine you got the BTS boys to do security on the door those sweet sweet BTS boys but we’re killing Taylor Swift just to clarify whoa I don’t know you’ve got a beef you’ve got a beef with Taylor that’s just it’s is nasty and not Swifty beef misogynist to be honest I just I hate this I hate this you like you criticize her and all of a sudden you’re Mis why you criticize though I just think her she can’t sing her dance how would you get lost she’s not boyone it’s Taylor Swift who’s your favorite artist ever my favorite artist like van go May Musician musician artist ever oh you’re going to say some classical [ __ ] no no I’m actually not if you go to one show ever they alive are you going to do I get to choose like their set list or do they play the full ah the 19th century percussionist Lucas van quim yeah Lucas van quim oh oh van quim was a master Dutch trailblazing triangle player Vander schlo go he managing Liverpool he could you going with v I think like the first two or first three albums of Artic Monkeys is like going to be the best G they can’t dance they don’t purport to you know what I mean like they don’t they don’t they therefore they don’t dance because they can you bastard you can’t [ __ ] with the Artic monkey first two or three albums like that’s just un undefeated that’ll be the best gig of your life right you know what I mean you’d go Springsteen you’re a big Springstein I like Springsteen I’d also I might I like you know West life I think or there’s the next there’s the next Mandy trip first three albums lad 15 number one Elvis Beatles West Life top Tre UK number ones of all time Louis Walsh talk about great managers Wanger feren Louis Walsh managed Louis Walsh managed West Life to 15 number ones none of them can write a song and none of them can dance that’s a manager Brian mcfat is there mate what Brian mcfaden Brian mcf left like do it all though huh he could do it all he could do fight the Taliban with his bad could me he wanted to fight Isis he twe he tweeted it he said I’ll take the [ __ ] on and you know the last thing they want to see is him coming over the hill singing I’m flying with girl oh yeah uh but uh did he really tweet that he said why don’t he fight man to man rather than dropping bombs on kids that’s right and has there ever been a terrorist attacking sgo [ __ ] no you see because they know they wouldn’t get away with it no cuz he let them know do you hear Anon from take that about ises not a [ __ ] word very little [ __ ] weas in the pocket of big ises yeah they’re Pro you reckon West Life the hardest boy band ever then they West Life are very very tough yeah no E7 look like nasty little boys from the ends like five five your man had the the eyebrow pierced [ __ ] Jay or whatever his name was he looked like he might trow you dig do diversity count as like a boy band I know they didn’t sing but they were a dance troop no I’m not they’re not in tro blazing Squad I’m sorry right BL squad’s a good sh so solid crew [ __ ] duchane they had duchane from Top they’re not a boy band right come on Lisa Mafia yeah you can’t put NWA in this conversation like that’s not a boy well see this is what people might not know right now Brian mcfaden and Keith Duffy so Keith Duffy’s from boy Zone Boys Life Bo M they’ve come together cre Boys Life the two hardest [ __ ] from either band have come together to create a like a double like they’re two bouncers like Patrick Vieira and Roy Kane yeah in September they have 23 number ones between them for the concerts between Boone and West life it’s an embarrassment to riches wow it’s an embarrassment malgam groups I’m all for it Romeo done [ __ ] ice cube so solid NWS let’s let’s get it going yeah M was M yeah they still going I think so I they know MF they’ve g a separate way Annie Lennox and The Prodigy they’re working together now did they come together ke Flint died took over yeah yeah yeah right she’s the five star you know did I did I did any read that [ __ ] article that [ __ ] call playay are funding Isis no I read that no like that felt like a quiz blank no I’m not even Jing show me Isis I read an article that they’re like uh giving money you can’t press the [ __ ] Bell when you’re about to make a point it really invalid did anyone read that you know I’ll do this now cuz this is [ __ ] no but I I read an article that they that they’re funding the uh IDF Israel they’re sending money Google je to be fair to be fair the Middle East was not on your list of things not to talk about no you said Kpop and Taylor Swift you did not you did not mention Gaza I just read I read this I I read this article and then there was something that in glenbury when they played viiva lva that apparently Netanyahu was like playing like not the drums but he was like on the base or something in the back does how does Co Play support for the Palestine Palestinian I think you’ve you know right right Battlefield wrong team right yeah well maybe they’ve probably got taken down but super injunction they probably got a taken down but Chris Martin is funding the IDF and what and are you just getting is this like a conspiracy theory are you like if you listen to Yellow backwards it’s well I I haven’t done that yet but I’m pretty sure it might make things pretty clear about what’s going on the music video backwards H is the music video backwards just rewind yeah there you go forward forwards it’s just footage of uh go on just uh just good just good stuff Chris Martin though you know like he’s up to he’s up to know more [ __ ] good I heard him Day saying he only eats one meal a day what’s that about calorie control called apple one meal bastard one meal I go on that for a little while one meal a day I’m not on it at the minute right but I that is certainly something I’ve been into for a while right you’re not you make it a big one but yeah that would be wild if I had one meal in a day was like 6 o00 okay it’s just an old fashioned way of saying intimate and fasting in it but that’s okay so the meal thing is fine but then he’s making his wife make candles out of her vagina what about that he broke up ex-wife what ex-wife yeah cuz she broke up with him cuz he kept forcing her to make candles out of her [ __ ] that’s some strong labor I know she has got [ __ ] candles she does did you not know this this is not this is true oh what’s it called goop yeah it smells like her vagina and she sells it on her website goop yeah goop’s the website isn’t it goop’s like the magazine brand yeah yeah she’s like Jordan Peterson for women right but she lad she has her own [ __ ] candles and she’d have them around the house apparently can we buy one yeah yeah oh I’m not I’m listen I’m I’m the one who’s usually pretty yeah SP sensible about the business card you should have a vagina I really want a [ __ ] candle please they sold out but I just don’t understand like the appeal of having a candle that smells like a vagina like just have surely you just have this SM yeah it’s a bit on the nose it’s big well one would hope right get a roll on if you want to wear no I want that I want a a candle that says this smells like my vagina which that like for the audio listener right that’s what it’s called and that one smells like her orgasm specifically right buy it apparently like it caused a lot of problems in the relationship cuz Chris father’s uh Chris Martin’s father kept buying him you going to buy it now like he bought like 50 for Christmas that would be brutal if your dad kept buying your wife’s vagina candles oh lad you be like Dad for Fu gets everybody one for Christmas right but why do you want a candle that smells like a vagina just have a like made just have a little tub of like coins in your house oh that’s how you get You’re A N A Change B you know that’s how you get drugs into other countries isn’t it much yeah the coin method coin don’t tell everyone about that L he knows course I know he know sniff a dog at Dublin Airport like I can just smell funny you’re you’re just walking through like it’s your [ __ ] communion like that’s that’s the genius of the coin method if they sniffer up it’s just it’s just someone’s under period that would be such a prank when I have kids going to have the uh their communion candle be a [ __ ] gr palro vagina candle yeah lad the priest going to be like H doesn’t smell like a little boy exactly doesn’t smell like a little boy bum what body part could me like what [ __ ] in you can’t do you can’t do a [ __ ] [ __ ] flavored lollipops [ __ ] flavored lollipops yeah but then you need like a scientist to like your [ __ ] okay yeah what is there a bad thing about that just just some little Point next well I guess for the for the result hind Dexter Dexter I like it hind Dexter is good isn’t it there’s a guy called John po Dexter he’s a scientist yeah actual name yeah it is the last name that probably where it comes from like just biggest nerd of all time happen to have that last name right could happen I’m sick of these [ __ ] nerds L you sick of experts science ah no but all of them you mosque and [ __ ] zck and uh Bezos and they own everything [ __ ] that what about the big strong men but all all the Nerds are learning Jiu-Jitsu huh all the Nerds are learning Jiu-Jitsu and it’s as well seen him with his little KY afro and and that and he sa now yeah [ __ ] yeah know but if Society breaks down and there’s no electric and Bitcoin isn’t worth anything you can do Jiu-Jitsu but if you are 5 foot n in your way 12 stone you’re just going to get twatted by the biggest [ __ ] I have a Hur I’m going to kill zuberg H would disagree UFC won jju beats everything Mark Zuckerberg versus a 6′ five defensive end right it’s over well yeah a going to bejitsu if he’s like a pro it now it isn’t over he just go to the ground like break his leg wouldn’t he that’s the point of that’s what the UF that’s what they say my brother does JJ that’s why the UFC started it was to prove that JJ like I’m hang on hang on I’m not talking about I’m not talking about the greatest I’m talking about Zuckerberg yeah everyone’s too scared to [ __ ] beat him cuz he’s worth 160 billion do you think anyone who’s sparring with Zucker and he’s like I really want you to go at me you know just really hell for leather because I want to learn they’re all they’re holding back yeah they’re not getting them in a triangle choke cans aren’t E A lot of them triangle choke is a triangle yeah body part would you use to throw that in a triangle choke oh you’d be using your leg yes is it there is it is it make a triangle yes that you do that yeah that’s weird when you’re rubbing it in he’s rubbing it in and he’s tapped but Carl in on a serious note why do we let why have we let a system come up where all these little smart little fellas can have all the stuff and then there’s big strong fellas don’t do you want to be back like medieval [ __ ] England should be the king of the world yeah Mike think’s the strongest boy who carries the chairs after assembly should no but Brock Lesnar or like but like why have we let a system come up where you can sit over there and you’re a little fellow and you’ve got oh I’ve got this money and stuff and I I’m a big strong fellow and then I can’t why can he keep it cuz they’ve deviced this little system with money and ownership and it’s [ __ ] and it’s all deviced to keep the big strong men down smart fell do you know you’re not a big strong fell benefit from this you’re just getting bummed by The Rock Mike’s a big boy yeah Mike’s a big boy he is taller than you think if we’re going to give compliments make him sound less like homeo strong boy a f boy as well that’s right I’ve grew up in combat with beasts animals the land the wind dairy cows dairy cows yeah I fought a sheep no I literally have I punched I have punched yeah a cow in the face have you ever have you ever Wrestled a go no but it was only cuz they were they wouldn’t they backed down they backed down they knew yeah they knew no but like I just think that the system that we’ve all agreed to in this whatever capitalism and stuff is we shouldn’t have agreed to it and we’ve let these little nerds have most of the stuff what the [ __ ] party did you vote foring why why can’t we just pillage and you know imagine back in times of this little magget was like no it’s the [ __ ] that’s Carl’s on my side on this no no you need to go further back little maggots ran the game back in the and Henry the’s in yeah Henry VII’s son was a sickly ill little boy who was King Edward yeah he was and he was a little he was a little like religious nerdy person really yeah he was really like Jesus is the savior kind of thing go he so a little loser but lad I was just thinking cuz I just went through a break up there and then and then the the pictures come up on my Instagram stuff with the my ex and now I’ve muted it now but then I was thinking back in Henry the’s day you break up with a girl [ __ ] off with her head you don’t have to see her again I have to see pictures of my ex her head couldn’t be more attached to her [ __ ] body that was and it’s just yeah that was the original muting and it’s just [ __ ] it’s [ __ ] you break up with a girl you [ __ ] Loop the head off and you call it a day you move on and everybody and every and that works out best for everyone well it did work out and people would want to talk about that she didn’t have to see you either no she didn’t have to see an ever again she’s in Bliss it’s a clean breakup went to hell day you reck Henry the E went to hell Henry VI e m um you’re asking the wrong side of the fancy no no did Henry J well if you think about it um he himself was so he was the head of the church here and he brought England from being Catholic pedos into being Protestant non pedos right so that’s a big in that’s in the Pro column yeah Conns all the women that he killed yeah but they were [ __ ] given it a lot they were [ __ ] Mountain leg they were full of gossip and all that [ __ ] that they were telling everyone oh he didn’t make me come all this oh yeah we’ll see yeah I’ll make you go yeah treason he killed killed three of them didn’t he no two divorced oh yeah two oh the hor he only killed two the horse the the horse C people you’ve killed more than that what point and I don’t want to because it’s what’s divorced beheaded died divorc beheaded survived so divorced beheaded died divorced behead that fifth wife that got beheaded yeah she was only a young thing like like we talking now about like r Flags but if you were about to marry a guy and somebody was like oh you know he killed one of them you’d be like ah but he didn’t kill the last three right but lad so I no one gets him like I do that was just a feas he R through lad I’ll change him head on the Cho block I I think he can chance lad she had an attitude on her that one she did was she again very bad was she Aran no cther Aran and Berlin yeah Jane Seymour Jan Jan Seymour died in child birth wasn’t it Jane Seymour isn’t a name for a person from that time know what I mean Jore was a co-star in an American Tech but the second one he killed was j p uh K par now Kine par came in she was 18 and she was like like hot big boobies and bummed the whole shebang and then Henry at that time was you know just gout ridden he had like leg and he was drooling and bald and just rotten his dick had leprosy it was the whole thing and then she couldn’t just keep it together and Nosh him off she was like oh what the [ __ ] you’re you are gross and that and then he was like I am the king you know he was like hurt his feelings which one bled him from a painting like filed on that was an of caves on it yeah she was an absolute monter and uh yeah that that cost she was Cromwell his head she was his cousin she was his German cousin and then it it he was like sure she’s my cousin she must be good-looking and then it was the original Tinder she had was catfish she had yeah yeah she got catfish he got draw herself bigger tit she did yeah I love that yeah and a massive cliit like right big big harry wants to see a picture don’t worry I’ll do it I’ll do it [ __ ] massive knockers on me yeah I’ll suck your dick clean up I am sound yeah it’s just an emoji smiley face at the top but he’s not even have a look at that who drew this her well she would she knows what she looks like you know I’m [ __ ] I’m buying this I’m getting involv he was so he was so angry about that that it was the end of Thomas Cromwell who would basically run the Gaff for 15 20 years Tommy C killed him beautiful little Tommy C I love Tommy and Tommy loved the [ __ ] behead and like cuz cuz I it when Henry had to get the the ladies killed he’d have to have a reason so he’ be like hey tell everyone ellin a [ __ ] witch lad and then Tommy C be like no but he’d be spread in the world he for Romano is he like a little finger oh he lad he was such a little finger lad Tommy C here we go I love it I love it [ __ ] Romano tweet before you get beheaded nightmare nightmare God just typing it with you’ve got 12 seconds while you your head’s still there you’ve ruin this church you yeah so what did Tommy C do he was Thomas Cromwell was the son of a [ __ ] prach like a son of a preach man and he was the only one that could make him come is he he was son of like Oliver K no no relation no relation well he he at that well OE was The Next Century yeah I don’t think there’s any relation are you sure no direct line no I think they are related oh okay he was he was poor he’s from Putney I mean everyone who’s read Wolf Hall is like oh D but he rose up and by the by the peak of he was like Chancellor wasn’t he like he ran the whole Court he was the number one guy little finger little and hated by the landed gentry like the Duke of Norfolk and he was so hated because he was a commoner and he had total power under Henry and an of cleaves was the end of him yeah she like because he’s the one who passed on the big booby picture he was the one who was trying to secure that marriage yeah and he was getting he’s like the agent yeah like like he was going like she was there for a medical on the deadline she ped all them wingy turned up turned up turned turned up at Westminster Obby for [ __ ] medical just to look at her TS but he Henry only saw her on the wedding day so he literally apparently his reaction was like he literally was like like it’s the very first episode of Married at First Sight yeah some Stumpy little German going they are quite big let me push them up if only someone would invent a bra fores that’s why the Wonder has little hands in it wonder wonder wonder poor old Tommy Cromwell must have been [ __ ] sweating when he saw the cut of van at leaves cuz he M off the boat like here she goes gemms are always fit they don’t have any socks are only teeth they don’t have any socks just stuff some socks we’ll be okay are they your only teeth are they your only teeth yeah she like it’s just a shark she’s another robot and her eyes crossed she I’s like wouldit you’re joke hello Tommy that’s is this England I’m ready for my wedding there’s my cousin Henry I’m going to suck his [ __ ] this AR now get look out see he should be put the just Arnold schz Ander shows up to Mar and he’s like girl oh that’s right that’s why I like Arnie as a politician he’s a big strong fell yeah and he California yeah who’s the biggest strongest PM of all time o bars probably [ __ ] tou thater maybe Gordon Brown was a big lad Gordon Brown big lad obviously we had Deputy fighting Prescott like joh pres the hardest he’s [ __ ] hardest politician yeah well he’s probably not the hardest politicians there certainly um um Tommy Robinson you know like Jerry Adams and all I’d say they’re probably slightly harder than than John Prescot used to be a box he yeah yeah Jerry Alam us have in the ira was he a boxer though he’s killed women and children Carol with his fist children Carol with his fist that’s the only people he fought he’s bet them to a pulp that’s for snitching you little bollocks but do you think that from Thomas Cromwell to that Thatcher’s up there biggest biggest there’s the biggest cuz not not politician because there’s there’s too many like Rogue independent politicians who would just be like mad C running boat pump in face yeah he’s probably the hardest but like PM Prime at like right truss truss would do some damage she would know her own strength I think she’s mental yeah she’s got to have something yeah she’s five foot six syndrome or something she’s got she’s got something what did he say I missed that yeah yeah keep going keep going go back go back she’s got something that doesn’t exist yet you know I mean it be trust trust yeah it’ll be that she’s got she brings a knife she brings a knife yeah she brings the knif got yeah she brings a knife to a soup party she brings a knife to any type of fight gun she’s [ __ ] bat [ __ ] yeah it’s just her with a btter knife I think she showed up first day of being PM with a bottle knife like is this going to be helpful yeah turns up with a spoon to a knife fight yeah check me that’s not a knife this is a knife this is a knife that’s not a knife it’s a spoon yeah I see you played knife spoony before trust must be the dumbest person that’s has is she the dumbest prime minister become the leader of like a major Nation she’s stupider than Trump like CU Trump espe I think that the problem that like trust is just a uh symptom of that like actually not being elected because you have to be a bit smart to get elected because you have to know how to like play the electorate and like do that sh that’s why like Trump isn’t actually stupid Trump’s one of the smartest he the smartest cont ever you know what I mean to be him and get where he got he’s so smart and got white people around him I’m on people are like Trump is stupid I’m like he’s not stupid and a Despicable [ __ ] anyone great politici but intelligence talk about politics you don’t know anything about politics I must comment on every YouTube video with my opinion I disagree with you therefore I like the Thomas Cromwell thing I don’t give a [ __ ] about it that’s when I tuned out when you brought up Trump I don’t like that ah trust is a mad old [ __ ] yeah it’s fun as Mike rice ah she’s mad mad as a [ __ ] mad as a box of frogs richy know he look like quite trim didn’t he he small but he’s trim he looks like a you know yeah but if you punched him he’d cry punch him in the air and his balance is just [ __ ] man he was a dumbo looking [ __ ] wasn’t he but he’s a little fell wasn’t he rishy yeah he was a little small fell 5 this is back to your thing no well this is back to my point the only little fellow on Earth who I’d give any kind of power is Tom Cruz and that’s Tom Cruz but we never said what he does on his birthday lad listen to this tell him what T crw this is his big birthday celebration every year I heard that every year Tom Cruz on his birthday goes to a forest and has four guys chase him in the forest and whoever finds him first gets to [ __ ] him yeah he’s like I’ll be behind the first tree you’re nice how’ you know the H but Tom this is a car park rumors friend of a friend right Tom Cruz is a friend of a friend Nicole Kidman is it Nicole Kidman told me no David mavage told me no yeah so apparently T Cruz is off through the woods and he has five Huntsman coming after him yeah and the one who catch him get the guess to [ __ ] him yeah and I don’t think he tells the rest of them that he’s already been caught I think he just gets probably F by all that’s my theory thing but it’d be hard to cats in the woods he’s under the grass he’s he’s little have you seen his tooth the one that’s in the middle of his face does my didn’t there yeah Mike loves Tom Cruz so be wary of this his middle tooth is teeth is in the middle of his Z as in it’s up around no see the way you’ve got two teeth yeah he’s got a tooth in the middle one tooth in in the middle of his head little [ __ ] one of his front two teeth is in the middle lines up with his nose yeah and they he’s had a lot of work done to them cuz when he first made his debut as a kid in cinema he had some bad TS on he’s got a metal tooth he’s a beautiful man I tell you if I caught in the forest I’d have this hurl halfway up him are you a big cruy boy yeah huh you a big Cru I love him I think he’s the finest actor that’s ever lived and I think that you love the mission impossible but you just love like [ __ ] action films that’s if you think Mission Impossible is a [ __ ] action fil you really have more autism lad let me tell you it’s got op syndrome you’ve got oh that’s what he said yeah lad lad Mission Impossible they’re the finest action films like ever made like the last couple of Miss he [ __ ] we they’re the best bad action films B action what’s a good action film if Miss impossible is a bad action most AC films are bad yeah die’s good Mission impossible’s Good Die hard’s better than all the mission Impossibles maybe put together you haven’t even seen [ __ ] die hard I bet you hav the bones [ __ ] on Mission Impossible never seen the B what oh the bnes are well better than the mission imp I think I’ve only seen one of them but I would agree I think Mission Impossibles are wildly overrated because they’re like they’re inflated by their budget so they have like big stunts but it’s not actually a good film lad the stunts are did [ __ ] like transend you to different time and place Tom does him himself he’s he’s actually am I the only told he’s not told anyone about that he’s never he’s never he’s never like shown off about the fact that he does his own stunts why would he keep that to himself he’s trying to inspire the world Dan so he’s he wants the world did he what jump off cliffs he wants to let us know anything thing is possible je [ __ ] listen if you’ve got a motorbike and a parachute just was it off just was it off the [ __ ] cliff live a little be alive get off you know why does it matter that he does his own why does that improve the story that he does his own stunts this is the thing with these action films you’re like enjoying it a step behind watch the behind the scenes and [ __ ] off this why he’s Tom Cruz and you’re autistic because he cuz Tom knows the viewer can tell the [ __ ] difference if you see that con There’s No 5 fo2 stunt man huh that’s the only reason he does his own stunt you’re a nasty you’re a nasty man there’s no small enough body doubles War Davis was busy you’re so what what happens if he dies doing a stunt would he be happy if if Cruz he dies to stun why would you want to lose him to a stunt I wouldn’t want to lose him stunt and I won’t lose him to a stunt because his his technique is Flawless so that’s not happening he knows his stunt so does he hang off the cliff with one finger is that him yes there’s an app him maybe and maybe not it’s none your business and that’s not something you even need to be asking just know he’s doing it and it’s class so that’s enough but like let’s be honest like topcon Maverick is the greatest sequel that was ever released of any movie in the history of time I saw that but I hadn’t seen Top Gun is that bad it’s not bad it’s lazy but I just like it was Grand Civil War that came out recently that’s a good action film that was good that’s good [ __ ] it’s interesting not Massive Action it was no it wasn’t the trailer was a lot more Acy than yeah they kind of catfished theyes Casino Royals are better than any Mission imp cin Roy is a great film most of the Bond films are better thanm the are you telling me no one’s on the Tom Cruz train here [ __ ] H Jerry Maguire oh yeah that was that was you don’t like that post yeah coming back in and he’s just like where’s my wife anything after collateral I I sort of lost interest lad collateral that is a [ __ ] is that Fox what a film mate that’s a [ __ ] Banger Tom Cruz gray hair killing people nice such a I haven’t watched that for years I might watch that soon it was good in Tropic Thunder as well was good fat he’s dancing he can do anything th anything so who do you prefer James Bond or what’s his name Mission Impossible John impossible John impossible yeah what the [ __ ] is this Ethan Hunt you [ __ ] bad action guy name Ethan Hunt what you mean Ethan Hunt he’s getting haunted in the forest getting [ __ ] up the ass it’s all he’s leaving Clues for us but Ethan’s not a good action hero name Athan you know it’s like James to be fair though Jimmy Jimmy Bim Bond yeah but it’s not isn’t it he doesn’t introduce himself but High as My name is Jim Jimmy everyone making up Jimmy B Jimmy B Jimmy B no Jimmy Bond sounds like he plays left wing for Sheffield Wednesday Jimmy Bond Jim Bond’s Co yeah Jim Bond that’s right but James is a [ __ ] James is good Santiago huh that’s San in Spanish is it yeah James is Santiago he’s Santiago Michael in Spanish is Miguel Everton’s good in Spanish you’re the only person I know that when you say your name in Spanish you also translate your last name and I don’t think you’re supposed to do that miguela [Laughter] Rose but I don’t think you’re supposed to do I don’t even think you’re supposed to translate your name at all miguelos and boys can I call an end to that section because I think we just broke a how long was it hour and one what of my [ __ ] podcast over here lades do us a favor yeah you love us don’t you you love this podcast it’s why you’re listening to it and especially if you’re watching on YouTube helps us immeasurably if you go and leave a comment like subscribe and turn the Bell on it it sends us through the roof with the algorithm it costs you absolutely not on a path from half a second of your life and helps us no end and you can follow us on socials can’t d yeah have a word pod I nearly said my handle then have word pod just give us a follow and comment and don’t just like something retweet it share it put it on your stories just be sound c not to be nice be a good egg episode section four of four with uh Victoria angelone and Miguel Ro Miguel Ro you guys have a little podcast don’t you yes Mike and vorio Guide to Parenting this is the merch that isn’t out yet sick I’m only [ __ ] about it’s uh your Clips are so [ __ ] funny so good of all the people I’ve seen go hey we’re going to try this podcast in Lock and I remember the phone call we had a few years ago when I was like find someone Dead funny and [ __ ] do it with them but they weren’t available so yeah diry dog you’re nasty little man it right settle down boys we’ve all had fun nice we’ve all had fun and now because Adam’s not here we’re going to do one of the features he doesn’t like y [Applause] I say I say he do like it it depends what day you [ __ ] get him on oh oh yeah oh it’s been a while [Music] hear [Music] IM yes big shout out to guy to bar and crew nice one so solid edws not say that simple pleasure says we got first one in Ben Jordan says you’re on a busy main road with your misses or mates in the car and nail a parallel park first time with cars waiting behind you ice in the [ __ ] veins you never parel parked I’ve never done it first time in my life right could you get out and you’re like I’m the dad of this car this street I’m the daddy yeah everybody’s pregnant with my kids oh yeah yeah you expect nods like if I see a good parallel park I’ll go yeah wow yeah W best to avoid it I don’t remember the last time first time under pressure I’ve I’ve I’ve bitched out of a lot of them where I’m I’m doing it and then there’s a cube building up and I just [ __ ] like a weasel I just no dried awfully exactly you drive up to the wing M of the car you driving P what right no no you just get your dick out and spin that wheel with your dick D the so you you should be level with the wingmen of the car you’re parking behind the front of your car should be level but so many variables that aren’t going to be true about that no there isn’t I mean I can’t drive at all you should you should be level with the wing meta you as a person or use a car you use a person use a person and then you start turning but surely the back of there’s but different cars have a different car making it less sexy you just do it and you’re the [ __ ] you got a camera you though you guys are you guys are doing well you’ve all got cameras in Italy I didn’t have a camera and I felt wrong because I don’t pal roll it Palm roll it your wife in the front but are you doing the are you doing camera or are you doing like Luke Skywalker like turning off your guidance system I’ll gaffet tape the [ __ ] screen I don’t the force it’s Instinct I’ll open a window I’ll close my eyes and I’ll sniff my way in it’s Instinct it’s craft you have to let people know cuz if you’re in a fancy car and you’ve nailed the parallel park people are going to assume all cameras are like automatic parking or something you have to like scream out the window the whole time and that’s why cameras no ceras not Austin Ambassador Harry Norman says wagwag boys hope you’re all doing well we are thank you Harry got a simple pleasure for you turning off the EXT not a turning off the extractor phone once you finish cooking you don’t realize how loud it is until you turn the [ __ ] off cheers Lads yeah get but then you hear your own thoughts yeah right is that what you go to sleep with I sleep I sleep on the hob did you sleep with your own thoughts hm I’m trying to Raw Dog Life at the minute are you raw doging sleep yeah yeah wow I’ve always raw dog sleep see people who go to sleep with something in the background I sleep really surprises me I read a boring book until I cannot see anymore yeah you listen the Quran or something the Quan kran Kuran on you know I said a boring book not the the only book of Truth ever written um I I think this is absolutely valid because we’ve got an extractor fan that I don’t think is connected to anything I’m pretty sure when the kitchen went in it just it wasn’t connected but still it feels like you should turn it on yeah so you’re just getting the hovercraft level noise no it sucks it off and pushes it along the CE your dinner’s getting sucked off yeah I am as well James Aon says a simple pleasure when you peel the sticker off something you just bought and it comes off clean first time no scratching at glue for 10 minutes please use easy peel stickers everybody who owns a company stop this [ __ ] Kev says squirt in the squirty cream directly in your mouth unreal simple pleasure as in like Qui cream yeah jez you have some fat [ __ ] listeners I used put it in me when I was a kid squ into me I’ve never my household have never had squirty cream in the house like no double pouring cream with amoretto lad you’re an idiot you [ __ ] fool he said you’re a were you to were you too poor for squirty cream or no no no cream that whipped cream is so nice it’s unel it’s unbelievable on everything but he doesn’t like like an apple tart am I mad in saying that’s mental I have a real issue with cooked fruit are you are you coming for me about not liking certain foods when you’re sat next to that man apple pie is and apple crumble are up there with some of the go foods but they’re cooked food so they can [ __ ] off I get what you mean but it has to be a softt if it’s a hard apple pie with hard apples I’m going bit yeah it has to be cooked like no but sometimes it’s undercooked and the apples a bit crunchy oh you get no you get a good one I like a lot of crumble I like a big crumble ratio to but do you know what I like which is do you know what I like which is probably basically the same thing is a slice of apple on buttered toast oh you’re a to what that’s the best thing youate have that today A Pink Lady apple or a jazz Apple available Jazz Pink Ladies are the only Apple worth talking about drug Granny Smith can suck my dick and I mean changed you kid yeah not to be a contrarian but have you ever ched a Jaffer cake on an onion oh beautiful red onion of course I mean not a I don’t like jaff cuz that’s cooked fuit as well Harry Ogle says when the last person to use the butter doesn’t put it back in the fridge so when you come to use it it’s soft and perfect for spreading put don’t put in the fridge don’t put back in the fridge best it’s like cement keep it in the cupet summer butter you need hang on hang on Mid mid summer but Mur I love summer butter when it’s that to me is the sign of winter when I can’t instantly do that then you get depression right yeah summer but never put it in the fridge there was a house at in my house this weekend and I was like I’m have a chis booty when I get home so excited the butter was in the fridge I basically rubed cement on the bread and cut it open carry gold oh gold who’s buying anything else L pack over here not butter that’s our Christmas butter C it’s unbeliev goes your Christmas butter you know you can get it all year round I know but it’s like feels like a treat I used it as can have Bailey’s all year round I I do have you used to only drank Bailey when I started drinking that was like the only thing I drank you must got so fat yeah yeah yeah yeah what’s your excuse ah yeah Dirty Dog yeah but Bailey’s Bailey’s every single and it’s such a weird request at like a teenage house party you guys have B I’ve used butter as lube you the cool kids yeah band camp has anyone has anyone smuggled in Sherry did you wear that Mayo story what county not the county mayonnaise Jared greish you won’t have sex for a couple of days come on that’s okay I’m not having it anyway lad you be all right so uh laur’s been chugging don’t worry about that this girl went to the doctors and said every time she like sted not joke by the way every time she like moves and stands up she keeps orgasming keeps having an orgasm like right yeah this isn’t normal it’s not like her this sounds like the setup to a proper working man she kept coming up coming the doct found maggots oh on a G-spot you need to work you need to work on the payoff because a guy she’ SLP with use mayonnaise instead a Lube all right so she have maggots on a G-spot tickl a g- spot kept coming maggot on a GP funny it’s an artic monkey song isn’t it yeah isn’t it a but so but so what you’re telling me is if you want to make a girl come all the time fill her with maggots no mayo this is the this is the takeaway from that story but so are you telling me maggots know where the [ __ ] is but men don’t yeah crazy so you come into to a girl like you’d be like oh she be like hey how are you and you just pull up a little bag of maggots and you’re like you’re about to be pretty good helmond I’m sticking these down in your d uh Mitch says or down in your D Mitch says all right lad simple pleasure here taking a bite out of both corners of a sandwich to leave a cker of a third bite in the middle big third bite sandwich third bite if I could just have if there was a shop that just sold the third yeah unreal wow now I’m just playing Devil’s ad aut right but you take abbreviation there if you if you take the middle bite first not as satisfying cuz you got the corners at the sides of your M you also got butter all over your face exactly and that can [ __ ] off and then you might like have a mouth orgasm cuz of the maggots right corner corner middle corner corner corner corner middle and then the Little Triangle my Nano my granddad he throws away any part of something that he’s been eating that he’s been holding that goes in the bin he holds the corner of something and then that’s gone that’s just for holding okay like a pizza or something yeah yeah yeah he’ll just like that corner has he not heard about the children dying in Africa no no no what’s that there they what are their names name three of their songs uh there’s a Jimbo oh yeah Jim Bond Jimbo jaboi and Jerome lito and they’re all children and they’re all dead lito lit and they love they love pizza crusts yeah your n was a bastard yeah Stephen alteron says enjoying that can’t be his name what’s wrong with alteron I don’t know enjoying a meatball meal by the window seat in Ikea whilst watching couples below argue to the brink of divorce as they struggle to load a hemness wardrobe into the back of their fear Panda that they have grossly under grossly underestimated the cubic capacity of so just basically laughing at people having a bit of fun at Ikea Ikea is unbelievable watching someone else have a row I can agree with that that is entertaining it’s me because I’m Raw Dog and I’m not I’ve got no headphones on no matter where I’m going I walk along a bus or a and try and find the most interesting conversation to sip aside and so I’m listening to arguments all day now that’s my podcast I raw dog outside the outside world I never have I never have music on but like even like if I’m I’m [ __ ] with no no stimulus oh I have your phone yeah I’m my phone’s no how’s your creative process you have you got more time to think or is it just like a cacophony of I was hoping that really good ideas would pop into my head but so far literally not you’re just hearing racist Chats on a bus yeah yeah yeah I heard I know like why Crystal Palace is called that no that’s it like an old lady was explaining to an American why it’s called that so they invent this is so boring H but I listen to women talk about it for ages on the tube the other day so they invented plate glass they could make much bigger bits of glass than they ever could before so Queen Victoria and uh Prince Albert they built this big [ __ ] Conservatory but big is in like three times the size of St PA’s Cathedral and it was just in the south side of Hyde Park and then trains had just come into like popular use they were like cool again and um the people from Liverpool and all around the country would come down and look at this big [ __ ] conser raised loads of money that money was used to build the Alber Hall the VNA Museum and the Natural History Museum on that area they deconstructed the big conservatory and moved to Southeast London Crystal Palace sick I love that nice which was well out of town back in the day London that was in was in the countryside fully know but now it’s just where like Elliott Steel’s from [ __ ] what a what a horrible turn of events for Crystal Palace what what a fall from grace for Crystal Palace Ikea is the one shop I’d like to get locked in overnight yeah yeah you can have a bit of fun mate you getting locked in there with the boys would be unbelievable right what are you doing what can’t you do I mean a lot mini dime bars are getting smacked there’s load of SC there’s loads of beds there’s kitchens that like Play House the pick mix in Ikea is legit Scandinavian pick a mix I’ve said it before that the nordics know how to do [ __ ] pick a mix right it’s great stuff there’s no better shop to get locked in overnight than Ikea I can’t think of any and Summers what what you what you going to dress off they’re not even dirty underwear that you could sniff they’re clean underwear yeah but you got dildos and stuff you can do all for your we’ve read there’s lots of things in Ikea that you could yeah you have there’s nothing you can you can’t you can do in an Summers that you can’t do in Ikea yeah Ikea got everything it’d be so fun if I ever get rich rich rich like silly rich I would go to IKEA I’m having that for the weekend you’re closed and I’ll pay for all the damage and it’s just me the boys in Ikea for the weekend you could you’re just doing an adult soft play in an Ikea Carl stag is going to be in an Ikea there’s a chance it is you know yeah unbelievable pillow fights and all yeah there’s loads of beds to stay in there’s all different Comforts of beds there’s Foods there’s kitchens there’s mirors right the mirrors are nice yeah they got like the plant section with all like the noises and the steam it’ be so fun last simple pleasure Elliot sharp says looking at the roads and seeing all the little little cars driving about when you’re coming in for landing on a plane yes so every time Jo what I think a it cute that one the first time I can see a person is that just me I land AG go I can’t see cars yet impossible now I can see cars I got I wonder what height I get to where I can see people ah I always play that game yes yes yeah I got I’ve been afraid of flying recently just for some reason like I’m like Dennis bur camp now do you drive huh drive everywhere well I do Drive I do I’m able to drive um un like you’re not able to drive no I’m I’m going to learn soon but I’ve got a real like of my friends are arguing because I just want to learn how to drive automatic but some people think that’s really cly and like I land in a manual and always said oh it’s better and I drive an automatic and I don’t understand why you’d ever drive do you think you’re a bit dis praxic no well then just I’m quite well coordinated well then just Le I’ve just literally never driven a car yeah but unless there’s a like a a reason like there are some people that aren’t very well coordinated you know like the ones who couldn’t ride a bike till they were like 17 you’re like signs are but if there’s no reason just manual laying the manual drive an automatic yeah cuz then you’ve just got it in the bag but then it’s just like time just takes longer to learn a manual doesn’t it not really like how much longer we talking vioral you’ll get it it’s meant to be a lesson for every year you are old I’ve I’ve got to do 28 lessons so that’s what the old 28 jesz you’ll be gr 12 year olds are driving I was driving when I was [ __ ] six but that’s easy cuz they’ve got spongy brains huh you got spongy brain when you’re sex and you can like learn stuff there quick I’m stuck in my way no you’re your brains there’s stuff going on there there’s room got a little bit of sponge there’s room for well there’s your head’s so fat that it’s like there’s room yeah you’ll get it in you can tell they’ve been podcasting with each other a lot yeah you’re [ __ ] heads your big fat [ __ ] head fat I bet no one in the world can guess what this next feature [Music] is hi DJ Dan and we play the hits it’s h a word Classics underrated overrated say what it is nice we don’t [ __ ] around when naming our features cam says underrated overrated Lids the Euro has been absolutely wanked this year ruined by tactical knob EDS playing chess football fact well I agreed until I watched the best first half of International Football I’ve watched for ages last night yes spay or class what a lot of fun that was SP have just been classing that guy so that little boy so Beau 11 years old magic sweet and he’s such a lovely boy he’s a little wizard lovely beautiful sweet boy yeah little magic boy right off his mother’s tit into the top Corner oh you see he’s wiping the bit of milk by breast milk he’s he’s ped by brass milk has it has it been a wee bit po you’ve been starters I love International Football is okay good Euros is always blle and this has been a bad Euros it’s been so everyone’s tired everyone it’s it’s a really fatigued tourn did you see belsa talking about how like football is is in its like death throws almost like more people are watching football than ever but it’s like an artificially inflated number of people who like just watch all the highlights and like the every so often good bits but football is about like the whole game being entertaining the whole time but everybody’s so risk averse like all the managers are just like parking the bus hoping for the best will na a goal here and there like southgate’s the epitome of it and he says once this kind of bloat of fans who are kind of just like not really there in it properly they don’t actually care about the full game once that’s gone football’s [ __ ] I’ve said the games football is near its end it’s I’m popular what the point where it’s like the it’s the number one sport in 80% of the world you’re like it’s on the ropes because I tell you what hering’s coming once the Brazilians pick up one of these no it’s not happening football’s fine it’s the biggest sport in the world what do you mean it’s on is in like people most football fans are this illusion with football most I can’t there’s not many football fans gone yeah it’s great everyone’s like [ __ ] nobody’s buzzing like nobody’s buzzing to like if if I had a kid to be like I’ll take you to the match like let’s get you passionate about this as well you just be like yeah don’t who cares why is that why is that what’s gone wrong Pep Guardiola pep hang on did you did you us to young kids as the example of people who aren’t there there’s no seven-year-old Lads getting taken to the first match going [ __ ] game’s gone it’s shy tactical football they’re absolutely in love get to enjoy the thing that we did when we were seven and absolutely are enjoying it they love it the Premier League so you’re saying you kids going into a Premier League match going to a City match they win 2-0 the other team don’t touch the ball it’s the best day of their young lives yeah the the event not the game but I think Guardiola is actually the problem with this gu Guardiola still plays like attacking like it’s a good brand of football it’s disgusting people Southgate who like and it’s maybe caused by how good Guardiola is that you just have to play that [ __ ] [ __ ] house football and I’m calling the end of the football chat thank you come on uh we’ll have a chat when it when football capitulates it’s on its way right yeah right I give 40 years which is like actually like football one this could be contentious Le says Sun beds underrated overrated never been on one of my life I don’t have any like inclination to go on a sunbed like I don’t get why would you I don’t get why if you’re going to do a kind of artificial t why would you twice a week in win for a tan and then you look but it it tends to make people look [ __ ] mental I know Mike you look like you’ve never even seen a suned oh what the he what kind of a thing is that to say me back from GRE I’m just back from Greece got he’s got a sick watch tan I love a watch tan line look at that what what why would you say that to me now mother said this to me this is Miguel Rose Miguel Migel see see brown skin why my mother says this my mother says to me on the weekend that she of the [ __ ] she was like she’s like oh you’ve skin like mine you don’t really tan I said keep that to yourself you pale [ __ ] you I do tan word for word that what that yeah I did I gave it to her I said You [ __ ] wh no I will say you tan but it fades very quickly like a week ago you were very tan just look dirty well that’s not a nice thing to that’s Dan Dan what you need to understand is that is that he is dirty I just don’t think you should wash every day I just if you grw up on a farm you learn listen some stink is good stink Ella says Ella says underrated overrated lollipop ladies I don’t think they get the credit they deserve these [ __ ] out here saving lives I don’t not to turn you on I think I prefer a lollipop man to lollipop was a man in school he a [ __ ] Liz I think my idea is Lollipop ladies are quite like Stern but lollipop men are like oh come on it’s all fun you know what I mean no good just good lads oh sorry well no well it depends what kind of lollipop man it’s like a different like I understand that like like in terms of definition it is child trafficking but it’s not yeah it depends if you if you’re ushering them into a school all good on Island yeah yeah is it illegal to be one without being a pointed one as in if you just get a big head there a big stick if you just go to a busy road you like you could probably Amazon like can you just buy a lollipop lady you’re I’m trying to help the kids that did that in real is oh of course there was they used to be a lollipop lady they got sacked or they got the budget cut and they just used to and they put traffic lights in instead and they just used to stand and press the button for the kids so sad and then and then walk across with them and then walk into the middle even though it was GRE it was Green Man and they’ walk into the mid go no do the Christ the Redeemer yeah genuinely when I was a kid we had there was a lollipop lady outside the school in my head that’s what you did when you retired that was the job I might do that it was a really competitive market one job per school and you better get it at you get o on if you just do that are the police come and going you can’t do that what’s the crime that’s what I’m saying J walk constantly jay walking you are I guess Jay walking misdirecting misdirecting the youth impersonating a impersonating yeah yeah but I don’t think they’re getting enough that I think that like they should be like maybe upgraded to like the fourth emergency service like if you call 999 it can be like fire police ambulance this Road’s [ __ ] busy right give us a hand love and then a lollipop person oh by the way do they have lollipop the yet just lollipops they’re called they’re just lollipops can we genderless if we do the Red Bull sot box again can we all be lollipop men and ladies and just stop everybody else so so so when you see Red Bull sot box the with the special you’ll see that we we were surrounded by people who got what they were doing and we had sort of like outfits KL nearly didn’t wear it cuz he was like L it’s going to be hot so and was short there was hundreds we we like being in a zoo hundreds of people will comeing to see the soap box and really you need outfits and I can’t like I want to do this again and I want to smash it and I want to do so well but there’s there’s there’s an outfit that I I I can’t put my finger up but I think lollipop ladies would be good I mean I’ll do any me m that’s a good Halloween costume to go with all your mates as lollipop people yeah like a group Halloween costume of loads of Lollipop people zombie zombie zombie lollipop ladies you think there’s a union oh zombie lollipop ladies is good but also like do you think lollipop people meet where do they get the stuff what’s happening I think it’s too who controls we might have blown the whole of the party you know what’s going on with who’s in charge of the Big L lollipop choer chop Salvador Del designed the logo for that did you know that he’s such a nerd The Cho choa chops logo was designed by Salvador Del what isn’t that such a good little fact no I bet you 50 Quid I have 50 Quid oh well my facts have been all over the place because Oliver Cromwell was descended from a junior branch of thewell family why have you got 50 Quid you’re such a [ __ ] toy A50 N I swear to God put that [ __ ] 50 nut away you better whip out some cocaine with it you absolute goo I just did a g did a gig did you for your uncle at Christmas K now anyway Tommy Cromwell was uh the great great grand Uncle of Oliver Cromwell and Salvador darly uh CH really he designed can’t even be us typing in you’ve got £50 you obviously know what you’re talk call play funded BF do you are you cons confusing with IVF no the Israeli Defense Forces netanyahu’s LED Israeli Defense Force I really I really gave you an out I give you a way out of talking about the ID done it in SE oh it’s been big Gaz no that’s what they need over there a lollipop lady sry right out well just on the it wouldn’t hurt what on the West Bank lollipop lady on the West Bank um boys what it’s been amazing we are because we went so thick we’re running out of we had to run through yeah we running out time on theard yeah we’re literally going to run out of podcast right um it has been Michael Migos Mig it’s been ABS superb where can we follow you online and go and see your specials and all that things oh YouTube I have a special up uh an Irish descript race um uh Instagram mik R comedy Twitter Tik Tok I’m going to be on tour I’m doing a tour extension in the Autumn October November Mike RC comedy.com get tickets I’m going all around the UK come get tickets and and see that and um genu I know it seems like I joking Chris Martin has been giving money to the IDF you’re also at the Ed Fringe and I’m at The edber Fringe for the whole month but the most important thing Victorio angelone I’m at the adur French for the whole of August I’m doing an improvised like crowd work show every day which will be good forun we have different guests all the time and then I’m doing two like one offs of my tour show and then an Autumn extension of my tour show going to Dubai and Bar in on the tour as well bit of fun bit of a laugh bit no bad stuff going on over there that sound they’re good guys H but yeah all over the UK and Ireland and it’s like the second extension to the tour and I I feel like I’ve over stretched Myself by the look of ticket Sal so please do come along to the UK and Ireland dates of the uh of the tour in Autumn and all that [ __ ] and yeah find me on Instagram and listen to our podcast Mike and vctor parting lad that has been one of my favorite ever Adams not here podcast that is well up there with uh As Good As It Gets for the big man not being here he will be home from tenar next week we are then in Amsterdam [Music] hey it’s so this comes out post post obviously post tonight is for the semi-final oh that’s so exciting you like you either have oh yeah it’s I mean it’s it win it’s a win-win if england are through that’s great if Holland are through that’s probably more fun in Amsterdam definitely more because I’ll be on I’ll be on cocaine curly wh’s having a great time um yes we have a song have you got a song Yes this week it’s from Ryan Rooney and it’s his song called it is it is what it is it is noise oh
33 Comments
Vittoria & Mike together? gonna be another banger
02:33:27 What was that noise? Was Dan playing with his soundboard?
Mike's 100% right about Tom Cruise and the Mission Impossible films
Mike Roice. Noice
Love Mike rice
as a listener to Mike an vittorios pod when Vito said "I went to see a play" I nearly screamed "I saw a play… and I cried" like I was Mike
my brain is mush
Mike and Vittorio, true HAW royalty. Another amazing episode!
Weirdos duo are deffo Pitbull and dolly parton
There's no parade for ppl who's willys don't work 🤣😂🤣
Carl, you need to grow up, Gladiator is fucking belting. As if Dan is being nice to Carl the week he says "Troy is a better Roman film"; howling.
Love how whenever Mike Rice is a guest on any podcast its a longer than usual episode.
Vittorio repping the merch
What an episode
I'M LOYD GROSSMAN up the Dubs
sheffield wednesday getting a mention
I love Mission Impossible btw Mike, but the Bond films do kinda leave them in the dust
Btw talking about parallel park, I still remember one a guy did in a Merc about 10 years ago where he pulled up to the space, arm over the over seat and he did it in 1 with a palm turn into the space. I’ve never seen something so impressive since
"They're not even dirty underwear you can sniff, they're clean underwear." 2:31:47 😂😂😂
Mike and vittorio…I clicked so fast!!!!!
easily the funniest episode ive listened to yet
Noice
Tomorrow Morning..
I love Dan
Very very interesting video. Thanks for your efforts <3🐶
When the Irish and scouse (and Dan and Finn) combine no one is safe
Basically the best two guests
Long live The Coin Wallet Smuggling Technique !!!
Thankyou lids need a laugh after that from England😭
Fuckin hate when Adam’s not here and that Irish guys a twat nice one for the disappointment Adam ur slacking
the best Adamless pod ever. Carl needs to get onstage though, he's the funniest one there and carries every episode
Morning Mehts
Don't waste y our money go up is normal scented candle it's a marketing tactic
I was with you guys until you brought up Tom Cruise…