Mike Basset England Manager (Full Movie)
e [Music] good afternoon what a couple of days it’s been if you didn’t know manager Mike Basset when the Mr Clutch cup for Norwich at Wembley on Saturday then you just couldn’t have been in East Anglia deep into injury time you could really see what this trophy meant to Basset the final whistle marked a crushing 3-2 victory over Leicester and saw the canaries crowned Champions since then it’s been one big Norfolk party and today hundreds of fans packed a High Street for a ticket tape style reception this was Mike bassett’s first trophy after 3 years at the club and he certainly seemed to be enjoying the carnival [Applause] atmosphere however Joy turned to confusion when the driver of the team bus took a wrong turn into the oneway system you’re heading for the fuel Carriage R they going the wrong bloody way 20 minutes later and the team were still braving the chil conditions hey you’re coming up to the roundabout now take a little slip head back after a lengthy detour at the a11 it was back towards the city center for a Repeat [Applause] [Music] Performance Lancaster gate the home of English football following the team sudden dip in form England manager Phil cope has suffered a near fatal heart attack with only three World Cup qualifying games remaining the board must now find a replacement over the next year our cameras will have unprecedented access to the new manager the hopes dreams and aspirations of the nation are about to be placed on the shoulders of one man as he attempts to take England to the World Cup finals in Brazil gentlemen I’m sure you’ll join me in sending our best wishes to Phil cope his wife Diane and his two children Lisa and Tom Tim in the meantime we need to find a new manager to take us into the World Cup now I phoned around Italy France and Spain but no one wants the job so you know where we’re going to have to start looking Scandinavia England oh Christ so fellas any bright ideas first chice has got to be Ali Mavis is he you know he’s won the premiership five times cut three times Champions League twice yeah the problem is he Scottish about young Jackson over at Liverpool well no question of great talent Captain England 50 times won European football a year twice work Wonders on Mery side he is a bit biger Yeah I was rather liked thingy at Villa well we’ve had a word with him but he says he’s a bit busy at the moment maybe next time maybe Martin an leads not interested Archer over atland he do a good job well he’s in prison listing Goods with Menace but he was at the Everton game last week all I know is what his wife told me so that accounts for every English manager in the Premiership I mean there’s got to be somebody out there that wants their job isn’t it rumors are such ulating in the national press that Norwich manager Mike Basset is in line for the England job to appoint a manager from the lower leagues would be seen as an unprecedented move that’s one at a time one at a time is it true you’re the New England manager Mike if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a 100 times L I’m the manager of Ned my Futures here in nor so for get the rumors in the title tattle okay anything else you’ve got the England job come on the England [Music] jobra I first met mik back in 1975 when he was with crew Alexandra and he was on loan From Doncaster at the time so I remember thinking they might ask for him back but luckily donc cter told crew they could keep him and then about a year later he got a free transfer to Plymouth from there he went on to Hall at Grimsby and Darlington he played for 14 clubs in nine different positions including goalie so once again the all pump long there it’s a back pass here to Mike Bass it you oh he’s missed it it’s gone in what a how and then finally he got his big break the assistant manager’s job at CER United and what was it that attracted you to him the glamour he’s on the books at nor under 14s he’s got a lot of talent he just needs to up his work rate but what’s it like having a dad who is the England manager it’s brilliant with his bags fully packed Mike Basset travels down to London for his first day in the new [Music] job s man’s just going to put the the M on I thought we’d um we just talk a little bit about EUR Point Mike Bassin you’re the the New England manager but for some people you’re something of a of a controversial Choice well some people ask the question Mike bastard how did he get a job and other people ask the question Mike bastard who is he I’ve never heard of him and I’ve I’ve got to answer them people and I’ve only got three games to do it in in your book what is it that makes a successful manager well there three things a you’ve got to pick the best players b you’ve got to motivate them and C you’ve got to use the right tactics and D which is probably most important of all you’ve got to get some luck really so so luck is is that important yeah the ball it’s the post goes one way you’re a winner it goes the other way pleas all right Mike hello Tony thanks very much you well done with the uh the England job oh thanks L onlyy puller used to be the assistant manager in cry tickets please Mike’s a man of principle he has a simple set of beliefs and he sticks to him he’s a big fan of Kipling the poet not the cap man so his dad gave him an embroidered poem when he was a kid and he always keeps it close by yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it and which is more you’ll be a Mason unfortunately that’s an embroidery [Music] error hi Mike I’m Mar a oh hello let me show you it I’ve got a big responsibility for a lot of people the England team is more important than their work more important than their marriage more important than the Telly ma one or two bro when we went take a look out of your window people are going to work with smiles on their faces they’re talking to each other at the bus stop in the pub on Theus itself football touches many people’s lives and it makes a differ a big difference have a the like but s would have loved to have greeted to himself with Tuesday is his dialysis Day come on in we’ve got three games over the next few months beginning with the Polish match in two weeks time you’ll be able to choose your own assistant manager and Coach you’ll also get a company car plus free petrol so long as you keep the receipts yeah but no monkey business apparently that venables was chucking down his trips to and from the supermarket you’re right I want you to know Mike I’m always here for you and if I’m not around just slip a note under the door this way M this must be a very proud moment for you it is I just wish my dad could see me now you know he was he was like a father figure to me well obviously but uh he was also a professional footballer himself wasn’t he oh yes he was a great footb Bell he played for Preston North End for just on 20 years never in more than 10 BB week what do you think your dad would say if he could see you now what would he say I don’t know he probably quote kippling you know something like walk with Kings but never lose the common touch ladies and gentlemen it’s my privilege to introduce the New England manager Mike Basset by the way Steve International Football is a big step up from the first division Mike to many you may seem underqualified is that fair no not at all a lot of very highly qualified people have done this job before me and I look how badly they’ve done I’ve got just as good a chance as anybody back yeah um now that you’ve got the job what’s your ambition to win the World Cup you seriously think you can do that why not you believe we’re better than the Germans the Brazilians the French the Argentine excuse me the people like you always running our country down I mean you forget what a great nation we are I mean we invented Parliament we abolished slavery we defeated Hitler and then we came up with the well the the computer the singing telegram the bessas melting process we’ve we had people like Wordsworth and Shakespeare and Dickens you know once more into the breach their friend once more and you know what else we done we invented football and we gave it to the world well I’m going to go out there and I’m going to bring it back that lady there please that’s it first job is to appoint a coach and an assistant manager I worked with Dave Dodson on the airart on and enough for over 10 years over at Colchester we adopted the system not being copied by clubs up and down the third division no I understand what can I say about Dave dods great coach always positive never says no none unless you want or two so are you in I did offer good lad okay what do want me to do concentrate on Fitness Fitness set pieces set pieces and basic skills to start with okay brilliant B flashing on me back since I got the Cho at Forest then there’s my assistant manager Lon airart really says yes more likely to say maybe or possibly even no and you need that balance just all you want to do sell secondhand cars don’t knock it Mike we offer good Motors at affordable prices take this the deu Nexia now you wouldn’t know it but basically it’s your rebadge Rox all asra alloy wheels ABS twin airbags Central locking air conditioning that’ll be the deal I’m talking about the assistant manager’s job here the World Cup Lonnie Jules Ry manadon Ellie she is an absolute Beauty what do I have to do to get you to take the job Basset can afford to be pleased with himself his coaching staff are in place and he’s acquired a new car now he makes the long drive north to Sunderland to visit footballing Legend Kevin tonkinson we came together about about 12 years ago I was a cult Chester and he just signed on a lot of money on the table off the big boys and he could have walked but he never he stayed hey Andie took us up I believe in repaying my debts that’s why I’m here I also believe this lad can win us the cup I’ve got it are you sure you’ve got it because you don’t look to me as though you’ve got it I’ve defitely got it I’ve got it it’s in the pocket I watched you recently and everyone was saying that you’d lost it I haven’t lost it I’ve just missed L I know where it is going get it you promise me that I’ll promise you what okay get off the booze get down the gym and you’re back in the England squad okay Basset gathers his Squad together at bisham Abby training ground to to prepare for their first [Music] encounter catch him up catch him up come on catch him up come on D I’ve got this group of lads for one week it’s my chance to see you can do what where how and when harnessing and motivating that’s what my game’s about it’s about getting the best out of people you know turning good players into great players or at least converting bad players into mediocre okay pay attention we’re going to split up into two teams all those born in the first half of the Year stay where you are all those born in the second half of the year that side of the line on your talks Lads come on first half the Year this side second half that side come on boys two teams do know when were you born February boss wo January boss Alan March boss Danny February as well boss no one born in the second half of the Year boss right uh all old born in the first half of the month stay where you are all old born in the second half of the month other side of the line okay I don’t believe this I’ve got to pick 11 men from this squad good lad and of course some Lads almost pick themselves you know take my captain Gary wackers and all old fashioned Center back but he takes no prisoners well nonethless he’s going to torture them first and kill them later you want to [ __ ] train like Wellington once said I don’t know what he does to the enemy but he scares the [ __ ] out of me the only problem is red cards out 26 International games he’s he’s only completed five a lot of people call me a psycho Nat and Ed case there’s a lot more to my game than just kicking people I mean it’s all Welling good be comp passionate but you got no how to control it so how come you’ve been sent off 25 times then you trying to [ __ ] War me upenders rof for Smalls a real life Roy The Rovers England’s alltime top goal scorer and he used to be a captain on the question in of sports winning jockey Richard guest is our regular team captain and England’s top goal scorer Rufus Smalls and two years ago he missed that penalty against Portugal in the quarterfinal shootout overnight he went for from hero to zero hasn’t scored since in midfielders Dino and Danny Tweedle D and TW day I call them they’re like twin brothers though of course they’re not 110% 120% yeah 120% and then we’ve got Steve hary best Crosser with the ball in the world always on the mobile to his wife the boys tell me you’re something of a Playboy no not at all I’m not interested in the Glamour Girls the fast cars and the champagne lifestyle I play football cuz I love football It’s My Life sorry Hello darling yeah there’s a magnum in the Ferrari and approach in young Alami on the wing he’s a Shyer but he’s brilliantly gifted and he’s not stupid either he’s got five o levels under his belt got a B in technical drawing H got a C in geography and human Sciences a place L University I love ex ton he’s a genius what he can’t do with two legs isn’t worth knowing give me that lad’s legs in someone else’s brain you got to win it right there’s a lot more to me personality than just doing stupid things stupid voices I mean when I’m at home I’ve got a lot of different personal things I get involved like stamp like Dy Betty swall was ducking this Gusty G nicking the a wasn’t hard had cooking few TOs and H B on don’t you start with me oh we drink I you know I want to be a butcher but I didn’t meet the criteria I got the chip but music I love music you know all right boys s down here we go pay attention now most of you don’t know me but you’re going to get to know me I’m an old fashion manager I let the team down on the back of a [ __ ] packet and I play a simple 442 system okay MSI yeah sorry here we go here’s the lineup for Saturday Bei and goal ma Pari Wacko and SM in defense Midfield we got Dano Tonka Dino and Ellen AB SE and SMY up front Okay but we’ll put this on his feet after lunch off you go come on boys that’s back to excuse me boss can I have a word small X ABY up front small X ABY yeah and in field we got Dan ton Dino and Alan you’re on the left yeah well what’s the problem why can’t I have a nickname WI 3 N Easy J ton is going to go straight down the middle 1 n third minute come on England Poland bunch of [ __ ] Muppets weapon 31 easy way and what do you think of the new manager oh it seems very nice I’ve seen every home game last 15 years we’re going to walk it it’s a packed Wembley and a tense England dressing room for the new manager’s first game you know Johnny right you ready for this boys you know the score if you’re in trouble he’s there for you okay if you’re in trouble you’ve got him come on look at each other you got that okay have you seen my ass anywhere that’s Al baby I do care how you feels you can have wear that’s it you all right there SMY yeah yeah you got the best part of the desing me you know it’s ch’s lucky Peg oy get that boys I got Bobby charon’s lucky Peg no Jackie Jackie Charon come on okay let’s come on quiet and down please let’s have a bit of quiet for a minute okay just remember to keep your shape hey and if the goals don’t come early don’t panic keep you cool okay you got that okay wacko lead them out let’s [ __ ] kill him bit’s first game in charge and he adopts a traditional 442 system that’s four players in defense four in Midfield and two in attack many critics of this system say that it’s too inflexible for the modern game Basset sets out to prove them wrong [Applause] he 30 seconds into the game and Captain Gary Wackett goes for the ball and accidentally takes the man good decision referee nothing wrong with that he [Applause] with 20 minutes to play Englander one up then disaster [Applause] strikes Basset has now got his work cut out [Applause] go go go back back come on short sh passes back to be it m m m they’re going to score let’s go well done Poland England go on to lose 2-1 for Basset the honeymoon is over what went wrong what don’t push right there wasn’t any width both of your Strikers were marks out of the game you had no one coming up from Deep what do you say to that um in some respects that’s a fair comment in others no I totally disagree about Fitness Tonka look completely knacked after 20 minutes that’s true yeah but what are 20 minutes hey do you really think the 442 system is going to continue to work at this level oh come on now you’re talking through your bloody ass if that system was good enough for saral Ramsey it’s good enough for me now come on boys try be a bit positive there was a lot of pluses coming off the game but we didn’t pick up any injuries for the kickoff did we but listen Hey listen we’re second in our group we’ve only got to win one of our last two games and we’re threw to the World Cup so come on lad how about getting behind the team for a [Music] chame how do you think the manager doing well International football’s a big step up for my pass it no disrespect to Norwich the big question is can he handle it do you think he can get you to the World Cup finals I don’t know I’ll put it this way if we don’t get a result in the next two games we’ll be spending the summer as guest presenters for Channel 5 and no one wants [Music] that D look tired oh I was knackered Tonka had all the pace of an Austin Allegro and I’m not talking V in class oh well there’s no use putting it off let’s have love in the video got Honda are releasing a new Accord this summer mik what your a oh very nice there we go right here we [Applause] goass from what what’s happening here what’s going on oh you know what’s happened last video change rooms over it to you’re joking no no you’re all right Mike it’s not changing rooms it’s Ground Force you don’t get many Jeffrey Jeffrey I’m sorry mate I got a meeting yeah I’ve been trying to get all of you for a few days I’m very busy at the moment I’m hoping to get all the ls together down at that new sports lab thingy you know look Mike I’ve just got in you got a question jot it down on a piece of paper slide it under the door but I’ve done that about 3 days ago Jeffrey well there’s no no de Mike there it is I was one from nor Greenwood how about drop and MC Channon uh okay if he’s happy with that that’s a good boy the team look in pretty good shape good shape yeah yeah good shape good team looking very good couldn’t be better having said that we we’re not actually playing very well at the moment no no terrible terrible terrible shape terrible team looking very bad then again the Omens do look good for England well looking good very good tucked away deep in the Staffordshire Countryside is the recently established Sports Science Institute Mike Basset is gambling that this state-of-the-art multi-million pound training facility will transform the performance of the team bit more room now I’ve got one word to say to you high on die how is that motor why don’t you come and see me your Shockers have G on that H that is the car of the future what happen the paintwork yeah this color you know is not right for you hiai there you need I say more alarm will sound if you don’t back away how’s it going tuy yeah great boss looking good loads of Gadgets in his most oh definitely boss loads of them Mr Bess ah how you do I Dr shugard nice to meet you yes let me show you around we at the sport Science Institute believes that positive energy and good mental health plays a vital role in maintaining an athlete’s overall effectiveness you see when a striker is going through a Le period he needs to be reacquainted with the soccer ball here we have the gyos faere hello SM how you doing son yeah I’m okay both good lad oh yes see in order to be at one with the B oh you must ultimately become the bo ah yeah bring it up increasing speed get me way I think I’m going to be safe how long will he have to stay in there uh any after 2 or 3 hours depending on you be all right in there this is perfectly noring speed here we have S feere behavioral intervention room fear is a soccer players vers enemy it stifles creativity and causes errors in play all right wacko fear program activated wo fear very good see this man has achieved a level of of cognitive behavioral Harmony where fear no longer dictates his actions good very good put the next one in please yeah this way over here we have the skill replicator SK how you feeling lad skill 100% boss dribbling is all is about balance and control this machine replicates the body movement of the greatest driers of all time p p Maradona maradon and over here Mark Lon markon Mark lenson well we R out of money to defeat the best we have to become the best let’s play simulation commence maradon Tri h mark laon concentrate what you don’t we [Applause] the following morning Jack Marshall the England team physio has got his hands full what’s the problem Alan rest all right get your pant off Jack give us the rest back problems wacko broken jaw smallsy unsettled unsettled what sorts of bloody injury is that I don’t know he just a bit I Mass’s got problems with his growing rest Danny and Dino are not 100% the Sports Science Institute has been a disaster’s about 80% boss but’s only 60% with seven of his key players injured Basset is forced to pick a new squad for the Belgium game squad list we’ve already given several copies to the Press oh well done M thank you there 28 names now yet they only picked 26 that’s the list you gave me only edges York City I didn’t pick him love he must have Mike I wouldn’t have put him down otherwise a bloody Ahad of him have I and it was just clown Ron Benson Plymouth our I copied the list you gave me oh come on Margaret tell me where it says Benson and hedges on that Ron Benson and Tony Hedges B yeah I said there’d be a few surprises they third division players one of them’s 46 I know but I’ve always said if you’re old enough you’re you’re good enough who else you looking at Mike Lambert and Butler very funny I understand Peter serson available can we get back to the football please yeah uh are you happy with the squad size Mike that’s more like it thank you Tomo um yeah I’m quite happy with the squad size it’s not too big and it’s not too small it’s uh it’s just right all right so you won’t be choosing 20 players then Belgium versus England and Mike bassett’s second game in charge Rufus Smalls attempts to put his acute psychological problems behind him Basset has the players really fired up for this one even Captain Gary wacket shakes off a broken jaw to pull on the white shirt sh come come on boys let’s get into it no fair boys [ __ ] go for it oh EV take it easy talk to hedes [Applause] England go on to lose 3- n ex extt extra EXT we don’t seem to be playing with any confidence a cohesion I mean uh one or two Ls of started that whe we qualify some are even checking to see if you got Irish grandparents jump [ __ ] like um got room for one more lads the last few months have been difficult for us obviously when you see your husband card names like clown loser liquid Char Sal liquid Char Sal it gets you down has it affected you it’s bound to we can’t walk down the street without someone shouting drop tonker or drop smallsy drop the 442 yeah yeah a lot of people say drop the 442 but we don’t let it bother us much do we love we’re throwing eggs now it’s disgraceful I thought I told you to clear off [Music] yesterday Jesus Christ M used to be able to switch the football off when he came home nowadays it’s all he thinks about even now Jason sto going to the football man united on the Telly last week a couple of lads from school tried to set to his trousers it going to be it isn’t easy go have a word with him will you mate it’s yellow it’s got to be a red card referee open up some come on Jason open the door watch that on your face felt tip what are you liting swear words on your face for oh Dad I don’t come clean it off what’s the matter with you lately eh not me Voice last night Mike dreamt that a giant Bobby Moore was chasing him around Wembley Stadium shouting look what you’ve done you bloody idiot can’t stand you when you like this mik I’m going out to be honest I’ll be pleased when this whole thing’s over and this better be bloody good news hello the left it wasn’t my fault boss we had to swe to avoid the traffic only because you were on the wrong side of the bloody Road how many milligrams did you have 88 88 bloody piss you B that the build to boy you’ve really let me down this time can I’m tell you I wrot an apology boss Fu the apology you can go to jail for this what sort of system am I going to play then three across the middle and one in bloody Pentonville hey you dropped on no no don’t don’t drop me boss please don’t drop me no no no no I give you a chance you blew it but don’t drop me I get better me NE this is how your bloody I’m sorry how are you coping with the pressure don’t make me laugh this isn’t pressure my dad raised five kids single-handed and there me m who was bedridden for years and years and years with arthritis and done a full-time job then he go out on a sa and score three with his head that’s pressure TR stor in a Japanese gun placement with only three bullets in your Tommy Gun and taking one in the chest and going on to win the VC that my friend is what you call pressure is that actually what your father did no no he never ever went to Japan but somebody bloody did and compared to them fellas bloody hell this is a walk in the park many of the press are suggesting England’s problems lie in bassets Antiquated 442 formation in recent games the front two players have been manm marked and unable to find Space while the back four have been static and easily caught by the ball over the top various alternative strategies have been moted the German 532 system incorporating two Wing backs and a sweeper and the popular 352 system in which the team swamps the Midfield either way pressure is mounting on Basset to change his tactics for the Slovenia game so tell us the latest team news please Mike well yeah I’ve uh I’ve had a long talk with Tom and um I’ve decided to give him another chance however I’m sure you’ll all be pleased to hear that I am dropping the 442 and uh we’re going for Something Completely new we’re going to try the 3511 which is very similar to the Tedd Venable’s Christmas tree but with the wing backs here holding in Midfield it’s more of a Christmas pudding in it mik well if you like yeah with the tonker in the middle as the uh six it’s D-Day England plays Slovenia while second place turkey are at home to Luxembourg England must win or hope that a minor mathematical Miracle will see them through wacket Begins the game in a typically robust fashion pleas Let It Go wo don’t do that oh Christ Almighty me that was never a red car defense oh come on [Music] [Applause] referee what to fill in for wacko what set defense bus not in the center in the thick of it you know backwards and forwards up and down in and out and I I don’t know you just do what you want come on come come on less than 10 minutes to go and England pile on the pressure referee penalty yes okay small take it son yeah you go [Applause] [Music] on are you sure oh no problem put it away son [Applause] [Music] trouble trouble is The Lonesome Town trouble is a lonesome Town England can only manage a nil nil draw sh sh trouble is Bel longsome [Music] time trouble’s little and it’s longsome come on let’s keep your chin up come on that roof look small it’s coming at the side of a Renault espass look you getting closer come on on five Luxembourg are winning taking the turkey luberg one up and if they can just score again Englander through the ball’s knock wide right to little Vin FAS the tiny Hotel manager from mering with fman into the area oh he’s and got fantastic goal someone pinched me I must be dreaming fmer right to the rescue and England are on their way to [Applause] [Applause] Brazil look at this we got azi m Mike Mike you’re on the way to the World Cup yes are you pleased with the lads pleased I’m bloody delighted the boys were super fa especially that when fleed him out he is first class brilliant congratulations cheers another oh Bullocks I’m [ __ ] myself Monday the 13th of May and the team make the traditional Pit Stop on route to the finals the recording of the World Cup song this one will be performed by the England squad and UK chart Toppers Atomic kitton who sadly today are one kitten short of a full litter Natasha is laid low with aggravated cilo bacterial gastro interius otherwise known as food poisoning fortunately the song’s comp actor comedian andate Hellraiser Keith Allen does not let them down what it’s on me son not off me son very sharp football song yeah of course it is the lad’s voice is our voice it’s boun to goh number one [Music] [Applause] England and England have qualifi for the World Cup finals in Brazil won Get No Satisfaction from the fin if you want to get ahead in this a little B more for and that’s what [Music] n l y [Music] Ning on to brail [Applause] we to hip hop dancing in the streets all day night it’s we get [Music] you keep your ey on the lads I’ll go and sort the transport out I’ll go the all right boss okay lad to me down now come on hey look Lads it’s the jocks all right lad make sure you get in the hold the plane cuz you’ll be going back in the we sober get the cameras out Costa Rica got handy side this year yeah right looking a bit tasty and all is that right are the hand of God Squad of I don’t believe it here come the patties let’s hit for the England B team is that why we always kick your Arison yeah yeah you put the accent on for you’re a company you m shut your M you py bollocks who you call ay bollocks youan TW hey I’m aan who you [Applause] fuing [Music] [ __ ] P who do you think will win this world cup listen every World Cup people want to know who going to win it’s very difficult to say who going to win but uh normally you have uh Italy Brazil Argentina Germany uh Spain France normally those team come to the final apart from them oh yes maybe you have some surprise because now we have a you know good team like Yugoslavia you have a United State they very good apart from them land have been drawn in group six alongside Egypt Mexico and their old enemy Argentina could on arrival in Brazil the team decamped to their hotel on the outskirts of Rio De Janeiro I asked for a Vox all Omega they give me this an opal I mean what’s a [ __ ] opal when it’s home all right Pedro keep your hands on okay now you all got the right key yeah right well as the rules there’s no late nights there’s no gals and there’s no drink and just remember you are in someone else’s country so let’s treat them with respect eh yeah I think what Mike’s trying to say here Lads is keep an eye on your luggage these wops will rip you off as soon as look at you thanks a lot L ex me [Music] [Music] [Music] this is it it’s here 32 teams playing 64 games in temperatures of up to 38° we’ve got 96 hours of football over the next 4 weeks which is 28 days and with me to watch all this and provide expert analysis former Newcastle and England International Barry venison welcome Barry Gabby first though we’re going to go live to Mike Basset he’s enjoying life by the pool in Rio Mike I’ve got your old pal Barry venison here with me Mike how are you doing buddy how are you doing soon I’m just saying Mike how you doing are you keeping well hello are you looking forward to the tournament then are you looking forward to the tournament then you know confidence s quietly confident I tell you what you look as if you’re enjoying yourself don’t you what’s what’s that you’re drinking no no they’re looking after it’s fine thank you I bet you’ve got your fishing rod with you as well haven’t you yeah it’s a pina colada a large one Mike tell us what’s what’s going to be Tac us for the Egypt game couldn’t get us into the suitcase um we’re going to have back to leave it there I think we’ve got some technical difficulties Mike but thanks ever so much yeah it’s Saturday and England face their first challenge they’ll be playing Egypt the softest team in their group want me you SMUD and I think of might have you here so much so thousand re to see you Mr and M just relax go ch B ferero Russi CU I’m going it’s the ambassador’s russan I I sense there’s a a new mood of confidence in even C that’s right yeah well we’re confident we can go all the way I think you’re going to see a few surprises in this time [Applause] sh [Applause] [Music] I [Music] [ __ ] idea you think it’s big clever do you swear and shouting at people can’t you think it’s something constructive to say because if you can I’d like to hear it get right why don’t you play two people up front instead of one two okay anything else yeah you can switch Rob out in the Left Flank to the right cuz he’s a lot yeah go back into the attacking Midfield roll right Dan he dropped back and he shows off defense easy be nice to see Messi Mak some of his jinking runs into the box like he does for his Club brother alongside each other up front you’ve got an effective partnership strength and [ __ ] [Applause] off here we go again look to who aren’t they they’re not real football supporters then obious they’re bloody psychotic thugs a lot of them look the way they Behavior you shouldn’t be allow to travel what’s their National side should he look them old women are pet side look at that lad lashing out with their feet look golden and Poli they want the passports taken off and they want bloody locking up the lot of them hang on that’s wack what’s he doing look he’s right in the thick of it [Applause] hello love oh so show did you did about wo not too good broken leg dislocated shoulder fractured skull and a couple of broken ribs no that was just a Brazilian place no wo’s fine but the de he could get up to 3 months you know but but you never know down here do you anyway how was Jason what they’ve shaved his eyebrows off because we drew with Egypt oh [ __ ] hell just give us a bit of privacy a minute please boys just a minute Love Don’t Cry No they’re growing no they grow back in no time just get of a bloody B CL for now back in London the pressure on Karine is beginning to show enough’s enough look at his eyebrows he’s going to have to wear a hat for the next 6 months I’ve told Mike that we’re going to move in with my sister for a while it’s not worth it chins up hey Lads come on chins up Lads come on chins up hey big smart come on forget about the Egypt we’ve got a new plan for the Mexico we’re going to drop the Christmas pudding we’re going to go for the 3121 121 formation now look you’re going to have to pick this up as we go along because we haven’t got much time so come on Lads let’s go away come on let’s go come on on your feet nice and bright come on Lads come on Lads let’s move it up come on the ball come on Lads where’s the balls e come on get the balls Lads come on Lads dad you where’s the balls I don’t know us Alan alanzo Al where’s the balls Lonnie’s got them in the back of his opal where is he went in the town duction shopping BS Jesus Christ get over there and get the B off them kids when you dty hurry up okay lad this is what I want you to do I want you to say to yourselves we’re better than the Mexicans we’re better than the Mexicans small Z better than a Mexican good good now look some of you Lads on 50 Grand a week these fellas they got a pocket full of pages and a funny hat so let’s go out there and show them our Superior skills our techniques you know dribble and set pieces one two stuff like that ehy what class class where’s the ball I tell you what bu took it around me like I W even [Music] [Music] [Applause] there the [Music] [Music] half timee in laboman stadium and England trail Mexico by two goals to nil have you what the shouting they sh be shouting at me it should be shouting at you and you know why because it’s half time we’re two down to the Mexicans wrong with you get your fingers out with your bottle gun pay attention when talking to you if you don’t want way to sh there thousands of kids out there die put that [ __ ] on back on the field do up home on plane you got that England lose 40 Mike it’s the worst game of football I’ve ever seen in my life oh come on what about the game we played against the Belgium 6 months ago no no it’s worse than that there was no skill no shots no passing no onews no inspiration there was just no ideas what about the set pieace playe there were none of them either Mike you’ve got three days till we play Argentina do you think you can win that game well I don’t want to predict that well why not you’re the England manager yeah I know but obviously I want them to win but but I can’t say if they will you think we can beat Argentina I can’t say can I I mean what do you bloody think well you’re the England manager m not me I no but you’re asking me to project the future so I’m asking you it’s not for me to save no come on now smile that you put your bloody neck on the line can we beat them yes or no no we can’t what do you think no do you think we can win somehow it’s not what about you bloody too no no don’t there go say you you’ve all made your own bloody mind so what the hell you’re asking me for wankers you can’t say that you get that with just two nights to go before England’s last group game Basset tries to get some much needed sleep get that all right all these SLS are blocks go help anybody El hey hey it’s 4:00 what’s going on I nothing boss I was just there just sleep walk you had anyone in your room of course I I’ve never seen that fell before in me life you’re dropped oh no oh don’t drop us boss oh please don’t drop us no please don’t drop [Applause] us with his Midfield Maestro sidelined for at least one game Basset calls his Squad together in a bid to get the show back on the road missing your tack you [ __ ] where 211 system where was it supposed to be will you [ __ ] off right that’s the honest points out of the way so let’s talk through the positive Point shall we okay Dy well uh on the positive side then Mexicans were bloody brilliant weren’t they I tell you what if that Ramirez didn’t win play of the tournament then there’s no justice hey three cheers for Ramirez hi he shut up you’re sharing the bloody Mexicans where’re England all right all right keep your air on mate keep me air on Bloody H the newspapers are calling me a [ __ ] the wife’s about to leave me we’re going to get knocked out the bloody whale cup and you sing it three cheese for remainers so Wonder have got any bloody air left no need to take that attitude I’m going out of me mind here lad what are you doing to me apart from locking all the bloody footballs in the opal you got a bit of resentment there mate might as well get it off your chest I thank you well as a matter of fact thank you very much indeed see you you’re just a waste of space that’s how you feel is it yeah and I’ll tell you something else you’re a small-minded bigot anything else in the locker then well just the one you know what a bloody dayare you car you told me well it’s an absolute [ __ ] disgrace right that’s it Lonnie urart is sacked with immediate effect leaving Basset without an assistant manager and a nose broken in two places with just one day to go before the final group match bassett’s plans are in tatters look um I’m sorry I let you down that’s okay son foret thanks thanks a lot hey how about I get your drink H put a smile back on your face best not to I’m on the anti-depressant on a couple of sharpers with they any har with it come on just a little po one will be all right po yes two paints and a pair of FL and sers yes sir hey get it up get it [Applause] you theous striker in the history of football and you still miss the bloody cting there in the World Cup in 1917 you only 3 out bloody Ed it AI TI it over the bloody take a tip of me it’s all about up what the only thing you’re doing Mike get down at once come on Jeffy come on Jeff red C [Applause] the England manager Mike Basset has been caught on film in a bizarre incident at heroes and villains and it’s clowns this time it’s the turn of Mike Basset head coach of the english team caught downtown in a Brazilian bar with a belly full of liquor you’re supposed to be the England manager tech Mike as English Mike Basset okay Basset has shot himself in the foot the storm clouds begin to gather above Rio and the Tabloid press sharpen their knives you think this is the end for my pass I don’t know when the fat lady sings to pull the C down get the fat lady off the stage what do you think your dad would say if he was here now press waiting for you Mike thank you thanks uh ladies and gentlemen I’ve had a long hard think about the events of the last few days and I’ve had to make one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make in my life um I’ve decided to carry on as the England manager you cannot be serious Mike come on you have to realize your situation it’s completely untenable no it’s not necessarily so I’ve had a word with the appropriate bodies and told them I very very sorry I am M if one of your players acted in the same way he’d be on the next plane home and you know it yeah but I I’ve I’ve been on anti-depressants and along with some loggers and a few zambuka Chasers te and the old glass of wine this time to step down no not at all i’ I’ve had uh I’ve had words with Mr Mr Lightfoot and he’s be he’s behind me all the way mate Jeffrey Lightfoot doesn’t want you you know the team doesn’t want you the fans don’t want you we don’t want you yeah no Mike even your wife’s left you it’s not as if you’ve got anything keeping you here have you you time to pick up your coat I think have a whip the in God’s name just go away it’s finished it’s over isn’t it BL if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you and make allowance for their doubting too if you can dream and not make dreams your master if you can think and not make thought your aim if you can meet with Triumph and disaster and treat those two Impostors just the same if you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by naves to make a trap for fools watch the things you’ve gave your life to broken and stoop and build them up with worn out tools if you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss I love you boss lose and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your lusts if you you can force your heart and Nave and senu to save your Tain long after they are gone and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them hold on if you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue or walk with Kings nor lose the common touch if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you and all men count with you but none too much if you can fill the unforgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance run yours is the A and everything that’s in it and which is more you’ll be a man my son ladies and gentlemen England will be playing 44 [ __ ] [Music] two apologist to our viewers for the colorful choice of language there football as you know is a passionate sport where profanity and exclusives they never condone are nonetheless common place better the Romanians are at it so are the sweds daring on the end of it what about the Nigerians this lad can really move his football’s not bad either here come the Italians these two go together like spaghetti and bag mouthwatering Inc they did it in 74 they did it in 78 can they do it again Yep looks like the Scots are going out in the first round but what about England they have to beat the old enemy Argentina to stay in the tournament games just don’t come e you know he’s shaming us in front of the world and can we beat Argentina I tell you what if we beat Argentina how about I chop my job in I’ll become a dman England versus Argentina could this be bassett’s last game in charge with Gary wacket in jail Basset gives the captain’s armband to Alan Skipper Massie out skip finally he has his nickname [Applause] come on boys just play the system it’s not system come on [Applause] keep [Applause] going England take the game to Argentina it’s a classic confrontation where one slip up could decide the match with 5 minutes left to play the score remains firmly deadlocked final substitution you still got it t a I’ve got it boss send me pocket take it out your pocket and put it on the pitch I love you boss well there’s some activity down in the England Dugout and maybe this is the last roll of a dice for Mike Basset some of you see this fellow as a Talisman for England Kevin tonkinson it’s time for Tonka it’s just [Applause] [Applause] theim come on boys last five go for it Ste give it to D it’s still nil nil and tonkinson is on now and he gets the ball from savager throw that’s a brilliant turn do marad come on do marad and it’s still tonkinson good luck hold it hold it he’s taking artina on he’s pass by St come on come [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] on what a wonderful goal let’s see it again conon one-on-one with bastardo rounds him like he wasn’t there chips the keeper back off the bar and look at that fantastic header h of the hand ball there mark against Argentina no chance [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] oh yes my [Music] [Applause] the game represented a glorious Vindication of bassett’s 442 system and a Triumph of faith in the face of [Music] [Applause] adversity watch where it going we’re going to pH the [Applause] wife following their remarkable victory over Argentina England progressed to The Knockout stage of the tournament successfully seeing off Romania and former Champions France in the following rounds England were eventually knocked out in the semi-finals by the host nation Brazil who went on to lift the cup but for Basset the great Brazilian Adventure was [Applause] over oh no not really superstitious I just promised to you that if we got through the qualifying rounds I uh I wouldn’t shave you know like but specker did you know thank sorry Mike just a quick question you got us to the the World Cup semi-finals how does it feel well we gave it our best shut didn’t we Dy oh I B Best Shot no question but I have to accept that I failed you know promised all them people in England I’d be bringing the World Cup home and I’ve uh I’ve let them all down but don’t you think you’re being a bit harsh on yourself I mean you’ve equaled our best performance since we won the World Cup in 1966 yeah but that’s not good enough for our country that no no I’ve had my train and maybe it’s time to move over and leave it to a younger man or I don’t know even one of these foreign coaches you know so what does the future hold for Mike Basset I’m going to consult with the family and I’m not getting any younger maybe it’s maybe it’s time to retire you know I have been called the last great foot Bing dinosaur so maybe I should just gracefully sort of become extinct yeah yeah thanks Dy yeah how do you feel now that the okay thanks very much thanks ladies and gentlemen if you could return to your seats please and pass your seat bels as we will shortly be making our Final Approach into thank you this is how I pray for the summer time this is how I pray for the summer come on let’s go downstairs let’s go got my glass of Shandy now I feel fine this is how iay you PR the more you stay the less it’s getting you down if the more you pray the more you st yes it’s [Applause] good all the time leaves falling on the winter time follow [Music] suit little bues free theow went to such an ugly [Applause] bruise Mid City Blues getting it down take a break from the stream get out your [Applause] car this is how I feel the summer time this is how I [Music] feel I’m staying off glass of SH now I feel fine this is how I play yeah this is how I feel in the summer time this is how I feel in the summer got my glass of Chandy and I feel fine this is how of yeah and if you love s anybody else maybe Korean Japan Japan yeah what about England England qualifi yes yes England have qualified this is how we feel the summer time this is how we feel in summer watch my is yours watch yours is mine this is how I play yeah this is how we feel in the summer time this is how it feel in the summer take it back to the summer 18 I this is how I play yeah [Music] [Applause] oh this is how we feeling the Su the monies the Roses blocking all your noses wearing baggy clothes in a buffalo poses bang ters dropping little fers love up in the clubs of football fxs No Malice I dig your dreadlocks I’m buzzing off your socks Big Fish Little Fish cardboard box give me French kiss I love you vood I dream of Santa Anna on the road to manday in the summertime where the weather is hot in the summertime I got women I got women on my mind on my mind in the summertime with the weaer is high in the summer time I got shivers down my [Music] spine what the hell you playing if baby you don’t play to [Music] will why did you take possession if you didn’t want to put it in [Music] first is first and fair is [Music] fair but second place is nowhere well they say God loves to try well they Li it’s just the TR is pose no threat to him and if you don’t [Music] deliver no one’s going to give a [ __ ] for you my [Music] friend but everybody loves the under do everybody loves the under dark all that it’s the winning the counts not the takeing part better get that straight right from the start a everybody everybody loves the young the [Music] dog but every dark must have it [Music] day so come on I’ll make it play [Music] take your chances if you can so the wise you go down going down you’re going down you’re going [Music] down going down going down yeah yeah going down [Music] [Music] it’s everybody loves the the [Music] do everybody loves the doll everybody loves the do everybody loves the do hey yeah yeah yeah [Music] yeah yeah everybody loves the other everybody loves the other everybody loves the other everybody loves the other yeah yeah yeah yeah [Music] yeah everybody Lov [Music]