I Spent 24 Hours in Britain’s Most DYSTOPIAN City

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today I am here in Britain’s most distopian City Milton kinges it’s the only British City built in a grid system a series of straight line roads connected together by mini roundabouts this means that supposedly most people travel around by car and very few people are supposed to walk around here leaving the city looking dead and very dystopian but today I want to give this place a chance is it really the dystopian and soulless City that I’ve heard about or could it perhaps be the future of our cities could it actually be a more efficient and better way of living let’s find out it does feel like the sort of place that’s been set up to sort of simulate a zombie apocalypse or something which is kind of fun I guess I don’t know if I want to live in a place that feels like a zombie apocalypse simulator but you know it’s fun just rows of what feel like empty office blocks how bizarre we do have a weather spoons now we’re talking a weather spoons lots of people outside having a drink already look at that sign it says upper Fourth Street I mean this is just basically an American city isn’t it this is one of the most bizarre places I’ve ever been by a long long way it’s just so weird I feel like I’m on some sort of business campus is very weird this is very much like a corporate hell hole just big offices everywhere just looks exactly the same I’ve lost count of how many of these Bridges have been under now okay finally we’ve reached civilization this is their shopping center here so far we’ve just seen a loot of corporate officers now let’s head into the center of consumerism and you know what this isn’t bad for a shopping center look at this absolutely massive down here you got an upside down house we’re heading in okay so This Woman’s going to help me take some pictures inside this oh this is weird this is very strange I never been inside an upside down house before Oh this is my first oh look at this this is lovely and so I just spin this upside down and yes it looks weird yeah into the toilet bath mat toilet seat we got a shower this is lovely how much would you get for rental do you reckon on this place uh you need to call the head office maybe 6 or 700 I reckon per month rental per month yeah I we don’t do per month can you go upstairs yeah you can go upstairs oh cool look at this stairs as well spacious upstairs wait is it actually on a slant then this place a little bit slanted this does feel weird in the kitchen my utensils cook something up it’s very nice and spacious into the bedroom wow this really this is so unusual I love the decor I love what you’ve done with the place looks great looks really good do the outside door that’s great thank you so much thank you okay so we just been inside the upside down house The woman there was very helpful she took loads of pictures for me I wasn’t expecting her to do that um she just thought yeah I’ll take pictures I’ll film for you that kind of thing so that was great um yeah I’ll put on screen all pictures that we took I have not a clue where I am where I’m walking to I’m just going to walk but so far I’m actually very impressed as shopping centers go it’s a pretty good one I mean you may as well just live in here to be honest cuz outside’s a bit Grim it’s a bit depressing never mind dystopian it’s it’s damn depressing out there to be honest we have got a toble tennis center if only I had some friends I do like a bit of ping pong it’s just not really a oneman sport as it also this is one of the best known tourist attractions in Milton it’s the Frog clock now I’d argue that when a frog clock is your biggest attraction it’s never good it’s literally a frog that on top of a clock as the name suggests right just popped into River Island and Zara can’t believe how much better the stuff is down here having said that went into River Island opened up to see some of the t-shirts moth flew out so maybe it’s better up north it is right just sat down for some lunch I am at Pratt yeah someone’s doing well and now I just like the sandwiches here got myself a tuna sandwich and then a chicken and bacon baguette oh two sandwiches I like them that much and also trying this raspb lemonade tastes like diluted juice but you know you put it in pretam mandra charge 5 quid for it or whatever and people say oh that’s good it’s not actually it’s really disappointing you get a platter here which is a bit pretentious isn’t it I mean just a sandwich when without a booking in Palace anyway let eat I’m starving okay just finished up lunch and now we are going going to leave this shopping center and continue to explore the rest of this city there’s supposed to be a lake there’s supposed to be quite a few different things here and we got to walk through a a haunted Market to get there this looks like a map on Call of Duty is this another shopping mall as if two weren’t enough we’ve got another one just one shopping mall leads to another leads to another there’s no need to go outside here you just travel everywhere through the air conditioned shopping malls this is just getting seriously weird now why is there a big open space with nothing in it I feel like I’m at the airport don’t get me wrong it looks nice but this is just it’s weird trees inside this does not look like the UK this is Milton ke they got trees indoors you won’t get that up North this city is basically just one big amusement park lots and lots of different ways of spending your money again though looks quite nice this is unusual to find new looking stuff here in the UK I a really awkward moment then I looked to the side of me someone was looking at me from uh inside a restaurant I thought they waved the touched the rear and I wave back and it wer even waving what a nty it’s going to take me a few minutes to recover from that one there’s literally nobody here everyone just travels around by car is that the largest indoor ski slope I can see in the distance sure hope it is I mean would you look at that absolute monstrosity in the distance what an eyesa that is Christ how you got planning permission for that you can’t even get planning permission for an extension these days they’ve built a massive Mountain just look at this place place just just everywhere’s a carp I don’t think you’re supposed to actually walk around here are you you do stand out like a sore thumb because you usew your legs I mean look at that he’s stuck that there another shopping mall there’s no shortage of things to do Jesus you can never moan about that in Milton Kings right I’m in the arcades cuz I’m an absolute Menace to Society um I’ve got myself a play card you don’t use money nowadays you use a prepaid card so I’ve stuck a tener on it don’t really know how it works and never never done it before feels so old now 35 tokens remaining I’ve just used five okay here we go with one hand oh it’s moving come on yes I’m doing terribly yes there’s nothing more tragic than a man at the amusement by himself at the age of 25 yes make me look good on the internet yes thank you yes I’m dominating this game get me in the NBA I bet it with one and then I am with two come on no we’re still playing we added on time Jordan okay so apparently tickets will be added to my cards I don’t know whatever that means what do I have to do here lob Stu at a clown any day of the week die die oh two out of two die three out of three oh no die you stupid clown oh I once had a nightmare where I walk out of bed went to my brother’s room and there was a clown in the back Garden ruining the dandelion and all all the flowers and stuff and I was like I will forever hate clowns how dare you how dare you get rid of the Dandy lions in the backyard you the disgrace it’s that 30 tickets I’ll be able to buy a pen at this right okay next we going to play this driving game a police game woo it’s me how am I single the chase is on isn’t that a different TV show what nitrous that seems highly unrealistic I got beaten as we went over the line Second Place always the bride’s made never the bride okay let’s play the Monopoly game turns out you can make anything into a game these days okay you’ve got to spin something do you spin this I’m running out oh I’m SP it I have spun it this is fun look at it in rot and everything how exciting I don’t know what that means what that’s it okay so you literally just get 30 tickets for that what a fun game guys possibly the worst arcade game i’ ever played in my entire life okay up next we’re going to take on the Cab’s machine we’re going to try and get one of these large chocolate bars go on go on oh I get it now oh oh does that mean anything oh no Oh I thought I nailed it how didn’t that move by the way okay this time go on go on I know you want to give me it I know he want to give me no Jesus I near brought the old machine up with me look oh oh you’re such a teas it’s a fix oh is actually a fix look at the machine it’s got that underneath it I’ve been G I’ve been G what’s the point anymore right okay I have finished I’m going to see what prizes I can get yet that’s great thank you much you that’s great thank you so we achieved a lot today uh just spent £10 there in the movements and got four packets of har BOS for [Music] £10 but look you can’t put a price on having fun you can you can it’s St pound that basically sums up this city uh just waste your money what I love about these h more than anything is they’re not even the big packets they’re the small packets just to make even funnier okay we have left that’s commercial hell hole Alo the best of all the ice creams as everyone should know by now refreshing nutritious delicious fruity like me and now we’re going to head away from the commercial stuff and toward supposedly a park and maybe even a lake I’m looking for some natural beauty and less commerci commcial nonsense with a flashing lights I’m dripping everywhere right okay we are going to cycle a line bike over to the river lake area and through the park see what it’s like hopefully uh don’t fall off been a little while since I’ve ridden a bike so I guess we’ll wait and see how this goes here we are we’re cycling in Milton keing not much traffic on the roads so you can basically do whatever you want I’m pretty sure that’s the law o that’s going to H the testes don’t go oh pothole there a pothole this is giving me far too many memories of being back out delivering Uber Eats and I don’t like it what the hell is that I think it’s a pyramid I got literally no idea caution bikes yes yes caution bikes I’m here nearly crashed it I will not try ride this one hand what a lovely View getting away from that hell hole that’s the indoor ski slope and now here you just got grass some water over there you can’t really see it I don’t think and here is the uh the light pyramid just looks like a teepe to me but um yeah guess all right not sure what the point of it is it’s quite peaceful out here actually the birds are tweeting the cars are driving what a lovely place this part I don’t mean Milton Keys is an absolute dump I mean this part ow I mean this is rural Britain at its finest these got quite quick I know they’ve got brakes and everything but barely makes you proud of this makes you proud tear to the eye here we have the Crooked Pavilions pav pavil I don’t know how you pronounce Pavilion uh nobody playing it quite rightly it’s a terrible sport instead we use it for football and that’s exactly the British mindset if you see a cricket pitch have a kick it about on it you see a tennis court play tennis football where that go there we end up on the motor away in a minute I don’t actually know where of course we’re at a car park all roads lead to car Parks here in mil milon Kings it’s a lovely little cycle path I just hav a clue where I’m going okay we are actually have to legitimately turn around I’ve came here to slag this place off and this actually isn’t too bad if you come to Milton Kings just arrange for it to be 25° and get yourself on a little line bike first 10 minutes to free and just go for a little cycle even if it’s just 10 15 minutes go for a little cycle there’s nobody around obviously not everyone’s in a car this is what life’s all about isn’t it cycling on a line bike Cricket pitches oh have a look at them again why doesn’t every city have this why is it just the ones that are cons humorous hell wind in my face just getting sunburn it’s the dream this they really is like in those C ofh films where everyone’s goodlooking in a complicated relationship trying out homosexuality you know it’s one of those films at the moment I’m just on the bike I haven’t got to the homosexuality part but there’s still time okay anyway I’m now going to go head towards the hotel and check in it’s an easy Hotel it’s my first time one of them does they look great okay this must be us easy Hotel let’s check in see what it’s like I can’t see oh there we go all right then I thought someone was in my room for a second which would have been awkward anyway we have got no that’s the one this is the room I’m staying in for my night hair Milton King look at this into the bedroom yeah this is it correct it does not have any windows I thought since we are in the home of dystopia I thought i’ get a dystopian bedroom now of course hotels have started doing rooms without Windows uh in this case it was an extra £6 I think it was for a window and I went no no give me one without Windows please I don’t want to see daylight I don’t want to see a reminder of the hell that’s out there into the bathroom let’s see what the bathroom’s like I’m imagining oh it’s a p oh quite a nice toilet actually there’s only small in here as you’d expect but we do have a reasonably good shower that’s actually quite good this is not too bad at all how muches it cost me £78 it’s not even cheap Is It Anyway here we have got matat Hand hair and body it do everything it does absolutely everything cleans out your internal organs probably as well two pretty thin pillows to be honest lifeless that but look you’ve got to embrace the dystopia when you’re here you know don’t try to live the high life I mean you can’t there’s not really high life to be had here so I just thought I’d sit down on the bed and just wait for things to charge went to sit down it’s like rock there is this mattress is ridiculously hard there’s virtually no bounce in this at all Le we just sleep on the floor oh I need a rest and then we’ll get some food okay we have just left my little box room and we’re going to head off to go get some dinner and we are going to be going to suppose to be just is it feels right in this dystopian City I’m sure these birds get smaller and smaller every time I buy them this one’s tiny supposed to be the ultimate burger or something like that it’s tiny look at this we have got a chocolate brownie ice cream strawberries and blueberries oh what a combination of food that is right K just finished up in weather spoons couldn’t believe how busy it was in there actually sun setting this place is very bizarre part of me is like this is kind of nice like where we’ve been on the bike you know today lovely sort of green area PO is like no actually knock the place down it looks right I don’t even know if it looks a mess a lot of it looks quite new but it’s just odd it is just odd I don’t know if I like it I’m still figuring that part out uh we’re currently at half s let’s go for a little evening cycle shall we I quite like cycling earlier right here I got myself a bike a guy just came past me as I got on and went there’s a scooter down there mate I don’t like those bikes bik’s a bit dangerous I find I was like okay feels we were confidence thank you let’s go for a little cycle let’s see where we end up oh it’s a lovely day for a bike ride they go a lot faster than you think though you don’t have to Pedal much you go zooming off cyclist Dismount really world’s gone W isn’t it we shall Go a different route God it’s nice isn’t it golden hour this I mean you get this in literally every city when there’s Sun this is not unique to build some G but still take it in Jesus you move the pedal down a little bit and it goes I want to go faster I want to go faster no no I just I don’t want to go as fast as that it just does whatever the hell it wants you can’t move for car Parks here I tell you there just something about them I’m now very much time to question where this is taking me I don’t know but look the sun’s setting it’s lovely weather just pretend you’re in a film and shut up yeah I might get jumped okay cares who cares you die in Golden hour that’s a good thing you about people who died in war zones and stuff and I’m dying golden hour take that over the wone Apparently heading back to the city center now but uh I don’t really know what route I’ve done this is the lovely view across Milton keing yes now that’s one thing that I do respect about Milton keing they do separate you from the cars they let you have a little look at them but they never let you too close to and I respect that anyway let’s get to with the cycle maybe even the worst places can be nice it definitely helps that it’s sunny weather today if it was Tipp it down this place would be awful the sun just improves everything though doesn’t it let’s face it right let’s head back to the hotel now the sun is well and truly going down but a nice of little cycle round see the sights see the sort of dogging hot spots in the area I’m not saying that’s what it was happening but you can tell that you know if that’s what you’re into I found some places don’t you worry home sweet home look at that perfect just going to find a parking spot now this is much time I got to kill I’m on as far as I’m conern in my head now I’m on holiday I’m in the south of France goodbye bike you serve me well let’s go back to the room now I think we’ve seen most of the stuff in milter keing there’s not that many highlights I think the Frog clock is one of the one of the biggest uh things for you to look at right okay it’s getting late now I’ve just been watching the football and relaxing for a bit in my windowless room which feels more like a prison Cale uh look I’m going to go to bed now I’m going to get ready and then in the morning we’re going to try find somewhere for breakfast cuz they don’t do breakfast in this hotel we’re getting distopian so we’ll try to find someone nice for breakfast if we can and then I’m going to conclude about what I think as to whether this really is a dystopian City or not so see you in the morning okay morning morning it’s the next day uh what a terrible light sleep I’ve just had I mean the bed in that room it’s honestly like you’re just sleeping in the road with your head on the curb side the pillows were rock hard the bed was rock hard honestly no chance I was having get h a good night’s sleep it felt like I was doing some sort of Guantanamo Bay torture style sleep it was ridiculous it was like they actively didn’t want you to sleep you know like I was some sort of prisoner would not recommend that stay even just for a night it’s terrible clean enough and all that kind of thing but absolutely horrific in terms of trying to sleep anyway I’m now going to head off to have some breakfast I think I found a little uh coffee place little coffee shop type thing and then I am going to give you my full thoughts on this place is it really just opening is it really a sess as it seems from the outside uh but first let’s have something to eat look at this this is amazing we got two poached eggs here although you can look more fried than poach but I’m not an expert uh we’ve got myself a Quant I got myself a breakfast smoothie it’s got like oats in but also raspberry and I don’t know whatever else this place is amazing I’ve Haven tried the food yet but I can just tell it’s going to be good look at that look at the first look at the it’s everywhere we’re doing well for ourselves now we’re eating sourdough it tastes as good as it looks £3 for those eggs on sourdough I think that’s pretty good maybe I’m wrong but I think it’s pretty good I’m going to stop filming and just enjoy it wow wow wow sometimes you just got to hold up your hands and say you’ve got great eggs you have got fantastic eggs thank you for letting me swallow them because really that was special one of the best breakfasts I’ve ever had one of the best breakfasts one of the best breakfasts one of the best breakfasts I’ve ever had truly incredible even the breakfast smoothie which was a bit like you know could be could be a hit could be a Miss smashed it absolutely smashed it it’s made me view Milton ke differently I’ve got to be honest I’m starting to think maybe this isn’t just a corporate hell hole it also has the occasional nice calf and I actually think the people there are quite nice is it PR most to stoping City I don’t think it is it’s different it feels almost like a Americanized I want to say yeah okay we’ve been helped by the weather it’s looking pretty pretty sort of grim today but you know what I think this is actually quite a nice place won’t want to live here but it’s got it it’s got it upsides I don’t think it’s as to stop in as some people say so on that note guys give places a chance just give them a chance right get to the train station get me out of here quick