Exploring the Worlds of HG Wells | Classic Radio Dramas

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00:00:00 – 08 Kipps

welcome to Golden agero.com rumble.com c/g brand new episodes every week visit veterans radio ministry.com to listen to more episodes like [Music] this Kips by HG Wells dramatized by Michelin wer music by Alona seash with Mark ster as Kips Nicholas Grace as Cho Katherine hbert as Helen and Paul Damon as HG Well’s the [Music] Storyteller episode one The Making of Kips until he was nearly arrived at manhood it did not become clear to Arthur Kips how it was that he had come into the care of an aunt and uncle instead of having a father and mother like other little boys he had a vague feeling that a certain Wiis face that looked out at him from a plush and guilt picture frame was the face of his mother he knew that she had provided for him to be sent to a certain rather smart school in Hastings and he vaguely thought that perhaps she was dead and that was why his uncle and Aunt never spoke of her but like many boys concerned only with the moment he did not worry about what he did not know meanwhile his aunt and uncle were the immediate gods of his work world with arbitrary injunctions and high if sometimes inscrutable standards can have more P when you finished what’s on your plate what Dr and rabbit what on Earth is that noise for oh don’t Goble Ary it’s not nice and don’t talk to your mouth fo you heard your uncle now hold your knife proper or I’ll wrap your knuckles you don’t want that do you I won mind your maners then and yet his uncle always finished up his gravy with his knife very strange there were however small compensations his uncle kept a shop which held a mine of treasures China and stationer needles and Cottons bathing suits tents and even trumpets which he was allowed to hold but not to blow I’ll finish my te can I go to play please as long as you ain’t going to play with that little Sid pornic from next door no that old pornic a bling jackass I swear he waits to beat his M until the wind’s in the right direction to blow the dust right in my shop car then oh all right go out the back way and you’ll avoid the poric you’ll have to say your catechism later man oh that boy Gibs always thought of his aunt as lean rather worried looking and prone to a certain obliquity of cap he thought of his uncle as massive many chinned and careless about his buttons they neither visited nor received visitors being suspicious of everyone according to the English ideal they kept themselves to themselves Kips being of a sociable disposition could only only make friends through the sin of Disobedience Lo P it oh you keeps I brought my sister an and she’s bought her doll hello sth sister hello Auntie what are you doing Sith watching them goats look at them they gone off scrap yeah that girl looks like you’re dead he don’t he do you just watch it do you know what a bluring jackass is no it’s what my uncle called your dead did he that’s nasty is it sounds right to me you better swallow that our fight you you couldn’t fight me I could we we want be on me back couldn’t could could good will get your fist out now would you want to fight for you keep having can [Music] yeah you got a black eye you got one and all my nose is bleeding that was mine whose’s one then I don’t know perhaps we both won a yeah that’s it we both won I won and you won friends friends Shake on it right there R what you think of that I think fighting’s really stupid oh yeah does your doll think fighting stupid of course she does well give her a chance to be for there oh leave us leave my doll alone you get a black eye like we got leave off Sid I’ll tell Dad a new work here will you D work here oh yeah but I put newspaper damy trous really don’t hurt at all here I hope you ain’t T me jacket let’s have a look no it’s not to it’s just to bit dirty yeah I’ll brush it off seemed enough little mess so do you you want to fight about it no enough fighting for that if we was real soldiers you know we’d look a mess all the time me m wouldn’t like that no my aren’t we best not be soldiers then eh what are we going to do now then eh let’s go down on the beach play Smugglers and wanted men we can go on that old wreck on the sand right [Music] all this was possible of course only during the holidays during term time Kips attended the Cavendish Academy for Young gentlemen a middleclass establishment in Hastings whose principle was a creature of indifferent digestion and temper and who succeeded in teaching the boys very little indeed Beyond reading aloud from the Bible and learning long passages of obscure poetry Kip had to to endure dreary walks when the boys marched Two by Two in dismal wet weather the holidays were very different from school they were free they were spacious and though he never knew it in these words they had an element of beauty W’s give me dinner Co pudding in plums oh yeah me I have some of course in the memories of of his Boyhood these days Shawn like strips of stained glass window in a dreary waste of Scholastic wall hey what’s that K it’s the original uron war cry how’ you know it’s a deadly secret or till T night up State TR in the lane beond the church up St it is in the lane beyond the church TR the tra was considered to render this sentence incomprehensible to the uninitiated [Music] small boys are so dambly loud here don’t swear sorry GS how’d you know my name who are you Mr HG Wells At Your Service Master giips oh I’ve seen you before you’ve been foll me around haven’t you I’m interested in you get off I know all about you oh yeah indeed possibly more than you know yourself you off at that moment there appeared Along by the churchard wall a girl in a short frock brown haired with dark blue eyes an pornic she whose doll Sid had broken don’t you know that never you mind but you sh she’s going to say something to you ay I can’t tell us it’ll be late father’s made him dust all the boxes in the shop what Earth for I don’t know oh Sid left school now you know I know you left school just about to S going to be a sea captain what you going to be what uh sea captain look I can hop nice I can run as well can you run I can run fast oh I can run I’ll run you any day right then run you now far as that tree over there right you ready I’ll give you a start from here right then you ready ready right off I won t we got here together I’ll got you first I’ll touch the tree first you never run it again then I don’t mind you don’t run bad you know well I suppose did you give me a head start hello sh oh you better look out young man mother wants you to go home help with the dishes no I better go then here what about that race I’ve got to go home toar you ain’t been racing her oh it wasn’t a proper race I’ll give her a star she can’t run anyway she’s a girl as the summer passed Kips found himself thinking more and more of Anne you left school what you going to be he couldn’t explain why but every detail about her face her hair her every word remained with him even when he was engaged in far more important activities such as joining Sid on the old wreck washed up on the beach now hold on Arty this ship has been taking Provisions to war and it’s got shot at and it’s sinking fast we are Sailors Brave to the end your sister ain’t a bad sort I CL a lot oh yeah don’t it stink rotten must have been the weat the ship was carrying yeah watch out yeah Pirates there on the horizon grab his masket how about you you lousy Pirates [Music] he take that now we’re Shipwrecked floating along without food or water hagged upon stagnant ocean Isn’t it nice having sisters no ain’t why not I they know too much they get out doing things sisters is rot that’s what sisters is girls if you like but sisters nah but ain’t sisters girls no well of course I didn’t mean well I wasn’t exactly thinking you got a girl well sort of well not I got a girl no I have but you don’t know who she is who is it then tell us secret secret dying solemn D solemn swe by Neptune I swear by Neptune begins with a name yeah M Jaris get out she ain’t no girl siony she’s the vica’s daughter she is true truth truth but she’s got a bicycle cross my heart and out to die well does she know she’s your girl I die for that girl art Kips if she was to ask me to check myself in this sea for her I would well I read this book see it’s a love story now there’s a chap in it just like me a baronet he is a person of volcanic passions concealed beneath a demeanor of icy cynicism have you noticed how I have habit of gritting me teeth course I have well I have and as so does he I’d like to have a girl just to talk to her NE well I’m getting angry got any Ross pudding Le no we finished it all I’m off for me to what about us being Shipwrecked we’ve been rescued can as he and Sid walked home Kips thought how he would like to live happily in a wrecked ship with Anne and run races and eat chocolates and fried sprats see you later ay bye as Gibs passed the church there was Anne herself her hair dark against the vast masses of flaming Crimson flowers Kip stopped with a Resolute shyness hello an hello art giips I’ve been thinking I like you a I like you ay I wish you was my girl then I say will you be my girl would you like to be my girl well yeah all right if you like ay all right then then you are all right then what you going to do now you left school I’m going to be prenti this to a draper in folon when next week oh I’ve got new trousers and a black coat and four new shirts and I got this idea I read in the magazine tibit actually that lavs give each other tokens what’s a token well you take something and divide it in two like you might take six and break it into two why should you do that it’s no good if it’s broke you divide it in two and then you keep one bit each that’s what a token is look I’ll got a six here I’ll show you I’ll use my knif oh careful I’ll jamy finger oh it’s no good see the idea is I have off and you have off and when we’re separated you look at yours and I look at mine and we think of each other tell you what I know when your father keeps a file well I can have a go here I’ll easily do it all right there you are and I do love you really I’ll do anything for you and I and I wish she let me can I kiss you that be silly aren’t you kiss come on no it’s silly but what could it you be my girl if I can’t kiss you it’s silly I don’t want to well we might as well go home then suits me right then goodbye an see you Auntie I do love you a [Music] py then came a time to during which Anne was altogether inaccessible Kip saw her on Sunday but she pretended not to see him because her mother was with her as the days went by he began to believe she had given him up forever he became feverishly anxious to see her but still she was hidden then came the day he was to leave for folkton in his new suit and Bowa with his uncle and Aunt he went to board the horse bus he was desperate at the thought he might not see an again there your sandwich is out oh look after yourself bye lad so you do your told right then all aboard we’re off goodby uncle aunt hey wait a minute a I got you know I’ve done it Hey Driver hold on for a gif just a gif you got your redl yes no just a tick here I done it this morning the six take your off oh Wayne I’ll keep the other off hurry up lad we haven’t got old t look after it ay I will don’t forget me an right then off we go get up there friend Kips left new Romney he was 14 thin with smish features and eyes that were sometimes dark and sometimes very light he was by Nature confused in his mind and retreating in his manners inexorable fate had appointed him to serve his country in Commerce dear what you going on about you being Apprentice to a draper why don’t you just say so why’d you use all them long words it’s my style you still going to be following me around I expect sir I sh can’t get in your way two yards of white kry 45 hooks eyes no trouble I show you 5 yards of butter buling what can I have for pleasure your change M no trouble I sure you the indentures that bips to Mr shalford of folkton were antique and complex they forbad kipster Dice and game they made him over body and soul for seven long years to his new employer Mr shalford in return for which Mr Kips I shall teach you the old heart and mystery of the drapery trade thank you Mr shord sir we expect you to work you know and we expect you to study our interests our system here is the best system you could have I made it and I ought to know I began at the very bottom of the letter when I was 14 and there isn’t a step in it I don’t know now this is Mr carot he will give you the cards of rules and PS sir you have to do whatever Mr K tells you here’s a blotting pad and ink pot for you to carry oh don’t fumble Come Along come along now gloves and ribbons baby Linens here ah this is bins sir you’re to do whatever Mr bins tells you see don’t fumble buin now here is the overhead chain carrier I can tell you exactly how many minutes per year are saved by this change carrier pounds you take my word for it system system and efficiency efficiency and system [Music] yes now this here has the door to the yard locked after 1030 by hard Edwin shalford see say so on that sign there Mr shalford always wrote by order though it conveyed no earthly meaning to him he was one of those people who collect technicalities upon them as a bug collects dirt he was an erasable energetic little man with hairy hands for the most part under his coattails a long shiny bald head and a neatly trimed beard he walked lightly and with a confident jerk and he was given to humming his establishment was now one of the most considerable in Folkston and and this despite perhaps because of a very strange and peculiar use of the English language which he believed was essential to business efficiency can you write out hoer skips oh don’t know Mr shawford well look here for example I’ve written one piece Lin hot black Hass what do I mean by that eh a denosa and then two each silk net as per Pats here with doosa ah de there P you couldn’t get some more commercial education at your school St of all this literary stuff uh well my boy if you’re not a bit sharper you never learn to write orders proper for now you best stick stamps and all them letters and mind just STI them the right way up yes sir and try and profit a little more by the opportunities your haunt and Uncle have provided can’t see what will happen to you if you don’t yes sir now lick the envelope lick the envelope like this see it’s the little things that mount up that’s how you learn Mr sh set himself acidious to get as much out of Kips and to put as little into him as he could what he put into Kips was chiefly bread and margarine infusions of tea and chory dust Colonial Meat by contract at TH a pound potatoes by the sack and watered beer repeat after to me what can I have the pleasure what can I have the pleasure no trouble I show you no trouble I show you mhm you should learn to block and fold and measure material of all sorts and to lift your from your head when you pass me in the street in return for these benefits he worked so that he commonly went to bed exhausted and foot sore and at halfast 6 in the morning he would descend unwashed in old clothes and a scarf dust boxes take down wrappers and clean windows till 8 Kip ship these boxes for me roll that CR up Kip it seems to have a mind of its own Mr bugging oh my AR and Li I never seen such a boy now they Kips look Lively hold up them curtains they’re very heavy Mr car of course they’re heavy oh my I AR live rarely much later than 9 at night a supper of bread and cheese awaited him and that consumed the rest of the day was entirely at his disposal for reading Recreation and the Improvement of his mind tired good night buggins good night good night [Music] my art and liver come along Kips and your stock taking hurry up Kips bring the tickets in the ink pot you make my toothache tips you got no more system in you than a bad potato where’s that damn ink by your foot sir by my there no I’ve kicked it over why can’t you hold it till I need it cuz I’m holding the tickets sir I don’t know no more system than a bad potato oh dear here Arty take it I done it this morning the six when you get too old to work they Chuck you away can’t a draper get a shop of his own how’s a dra shopman to save up the capital of £500 it can’t be done we’re in a blessed drain pipe and we’ve got to crawl along it till we die I’d like to hit that begger shred slap in the face and see how his bled system met that oh oh oh my feet are that sore have I got to stay here till my day’s end no Adventures no glory no change no Freedom what are you going to do about it giips I’ll run away to see Mr Wells oh yes I’ll set far to the Emporium I’ll drown myself no you won’t not you well here what time is it oh Lord I’ll be late putting the shutters up it’s all your fault keeping me here chatting and Kips consoled himself with the thought that it would soon be Christmas and he would be home and see and and by hook or by crook he would kiss her then everything would be perfect and he would be perfectly happy but an too had happened on evil things more tea ay T and another bit of Stak and kidney please help yourself dear T then I think I’ll go for a walk visit an old friend oh Sid maybe oh they’ve cleared out the pornic good riddens to bad rubbish I say cleared out yes s’s gone off as arand boy somewhere to one of these ear blasted new cycle shops has he and what about your sister an she’s gone as help to somewhere in Ashford help slavy more like one of they didn’t say ladies help while I was about it but I see a’t you going to finish your pie ay no I ain’t as hungry as I thought you happy at shalford’s then oh it’s all right they don’t see much prospects there’s times AR when I think I’ve given it up you can’t do that ay do you want the pornic to say you ain’t good enough to be a draper no Uncle I suppose [Music] not four years passed and Kips cleaned Windows no longer he was serving customers and taking Goods out on approval presently he was third apprentice and his mustache began to be visible Mr Kips I do believe you need some sorial help what’s that when it’s at home the car shop I suggest you go to a tailor and replace your short jacket with a morning coat and Tails should I what and get some standup collars like yours you’ll see Mr Kip’s other young ladies will notice you oh go away I mean it look flow bait’s the cash G is looking at you very hard morning KS my you do look smart see what a nice boy you are I never noticed till now do you think so miss bites giips what it is painful to me to see how your Fidelity to an’s memory fails at the first onset of admiration from another young lady go away you did you say something Mr Kips I I was just thinking out loud looking forward to Sunday yes well now would you like to go for a walk with me on Sunday then would I well I don’t mind if I do oh I can see you’re a gentleman I hope you’ve got some gloves a gentleman should wear or at least carry gloves and you know that a gentleman always walks outside a lady on the pavement oh yes yes I know all that Gibs took to these new interests with a quite natural Zeal before two years were out he had been engaged six times a series of events which were taken very lightly by all concerned he learned also to conduct conversations in a light and modern style at least that was how Flo Bates described them a style which gave both parties a strong sensation of being deeply meaningful you see flow bites you mean exactly what I mean well what do you mean d now that would be telling well tell me then D that’s another story I don’t know Mr Ary Kips you are a one for being roundabout well you’re not so plain yourself you know not so plain no are you saying that I’m roundabout I wouldn’t dare you’re quite slim oh and you ain’t plain at all you’re pretty there I’ll get out no really I say what where’d you get that ring on your finger wouldn’t you like to know I dare say I could guess I seen you checking to the under manager I’m not telling I could guess it in three you couldn’t not the name a a but despite this rather enjoyable flirtation with Flo a vague dissatisfaction with life drifted round Kips and every now and then enveloped him like a sea fog he felt great bogs of ignorance about him there must be more to life they walking outside a lady on the pavement Mr Wells isn’t there something else like what like knowledge real ladies and gentlemen they got knowledge they know things there’s a girl in milary what can speak French and German she taught me a bit poly V frony well done you know I’ve forgotten all me rivers of England what I learned at school but I’ve got to do something I suppose some such phase of discontent is a normal thing in every young man the ripening mind seeks something upon which its Will May crystallize upon which its discursive emotions growing more abundant with each year of life may concentrate I don’t know what you’re on about in that case I think a little visit to the Folkston young men’s association is in order you see my friends before you a very sound example of that which I’ve been propounding to you a man who has benefited enormously from self-help a man of semi-independent means who has the Good Fortune to inherit a part share in a housing agency but who is not rested upon such Laurels oh no I have read Mrs Humphrey Ward I take an interest in social work I sit at the last count upon 13 committees I’m happiest when I can be useful upon social occasions and such I trust TR has been my function here today thank you very much indeed my friends may I thank you all for listening so carefully to my little paper on self-help self-help is is by far the noblest of all our distinctive English characteristics and since talking about it is as thirsty work as listening I suggest we all adjourn and help ourselves to some tea and sandwiches in the other room please thank you very good evening haven’t seen you here before no it’s my first visit delighted Chester cot At Your Service Kips are e Kips please to meet you I hope you’ve enjoyed the evening oh yes what do you think of my little paper now that’s just it I must find out how to get a little self-help on my own account have you considered the local science and art classes not school no no I say you could come with me to wood carving wood carving you’re fancy the Sounder that it’s taught by a lady called Miss Walsingham wood carving taught by a girl there a bit rough she’s all right my dear fellow she matriculated at London University and she can do marvelous things with bits of wood in no time Mr Chester coot who took a great interest in social work and lived with his sister had taken Kips under his wing and had begun to introduce him to higher things [Music] welcome Mr Kips to our little class Mr coot will show you [Music] around Miss Walsingham had a pale intellectual face dark gray eyes and black hair which she wore over her forehead in an original striking way that she had adapted from a picture by Rosetti in the South Kensington Museum she dressed in those loose and pleasant forms and those soft tempered Shades that arose in England in the socialistic aesthetic Epoch and which remain with us today in those who scorn science fiction and think on higher Plains she was as beautiful as most beautiful people and this is Emily how do you do Mr K and Miss LX maybe Lady of rper yours how young man uh yes come on I’ll show you where you can work these people came and went with a sense of absolute Assurance against an overwhelming background of plaster casts diagrams and tables benches and a Blackboard saturated with recondite knowledge I’ll bet they know etiquette these people and eat complicated meals as the weeks passed he was convinced that they held the secrets to Art and the higher life Mr C do you remember the Scandal at last year’s Royal Academy opening yes M indeed I do what are they talking about you feel like an intruder in an altitudinous world no just left out Kips felt even more uncertain after one class when confidences were shared over coffee on this occasion Mr Henry Walsingham Helen’s brother was present Mr waringham when will you be moving to London when I have taken my final examinations in law miss Emily Henry is going to become a solicitor Mr Gibs we are very proud of you no nonsense Helen it’s nothing terribly clever It Sounds Clever I never took any examination where’d you take it to it’s more like where he takes you Mr giips it’s taking me to London thank goodness and I should be able to visit you and go to concerts oh Helen perhaps you could give a concert yourself one day I’ve always wanted to play a banjo I could never be a professional pianist Emily this extraordinary self-confidence shown by the others spurred Kips to seek an opportunity for some kind of action which would make the others notice him one day in summer such an opportunity arose and Kips put his fledgling manhood to the test how are you getting on with your carving Mr Kips let me see oh now don’t jab so hard your intersecting circles will be all angular and crooked let me show you overboard in your left hand like so but that’s right I’ll see me we see him no you do it that’s very good isn’t it warm today Mr Kips I’ll just open a window and come back and watch you oh let me do it missingham oh thank you that is most kind no trouble EAS I think it’s a bit stack do be careful no trouble perhaps the sash is broken odies no trouble one more year should do it there oh dear I’m tremendously sorry I didn’t think the glass would break like that oh Mr Kips I don’t believe you’ve cut your hand Emily do come and help oh well you cut your hand Mr KS it looks bad Miss LX got you young man you’ve cut your wrist it’s bleeding he’s cut his wrist and it’s bleeding Dreadful I ain’t the slightest idea the glass is going to break like that you must tie it up we must tie it up it ought to be tied up don’t me blood stripping all over the floor Miss wum look I’ll lick it off pleas all right uh miany Now where’s miany I should think it’s very bad cut to bleed like that have you got a handkerchief Mr Gibs I don’t know I manag not to have one not having a cold I suppose I didn’t think oh dear more blood I am sorry here use my handkerchief oh no you must be careful how you tie it I’ve done ambulance classes twice and I know you bleed one way if it’s a vein and another way if it’s an artery but which way it is I here I’ll bandage it just pull up your cuff lucky I’ll put on me shirt with good cuffs as you see how Frid me other are I’ll hold your hand oh not hurting you am I not a bit oh we’re not experts I’m afraid oh you’re taking a lot of trouble I’m sorry about the window but can’t think what I was doing of course it isn’t so much the cut at the time it’s the poisoning afterwards I’ll pay for the window the bleeding should stop soon there nothing really could you put your finger on the knot please Helen oh of course how do you feel now Mr Gibs uh fine I knew someone once whose arm was mortified and had to be swn off S off S right off there that should do it’s not too tight not a bit you should have washed the wound first oh well if there’s nothing more I can do I’ll return to my carving come along Emily I’m afraid you won’t be able to do much more tonight Mr Kips I’ll try I don’t want to waste any time the fell like me has much time to spare well call on me if you need any help I will miss roing he’s got ever such an interesting face Helen he’s so sweet when he blushes I think it comes from a natural delicacy I reckon he’s a little in love with you Helen don’t be silly Emily well look at him he keeps sneaking little looks at you he simply adores you he would abandon himself absolutely upon your altar but my dear what have I done to deserve it that’s just it you haven’t done anything I think you’d make a good match I’m going over to have a word with him oh Emily how’s the bandage Mr Kips oh fine you did a good job how will you manage at work tomorrow oh I’ll be all right do you like your job not very much I don’t seem to get one with the customers a well that’s because you’re far too sensitive for a job like that do you think so I feel so ignorant I get this feeling that education is just passing me by I think you owe it to yourself to develop your possibilities Mr Kips there are all all sorts of interesting people you could know very nice Mr cou there’s uh Miss Walsingham Now isn’t Helen the most lovely person in the world but look at her oh yes yes I think she’s lovely too really you what are you going to do in the summer oh well I thought I could improve Myself by reading the trouble is I ain’t got no books oh you could get books from the public library could I really oh Henry how nice of you to come and collect me well Mr giips that’s it end of class well everyone thank you all very much I shall hope to see you all again in the aut you certainly will uh Mr KS shall you stay in Fon through the summer oh yes yes and I do hope you will come back to the class your work is very promising oh I will I certainly will you may count on that Miss walting I’ll do anything Helen goodbye then Mr Kips goodbye good class Helen very stimulating yes we had the most extraordinary drama Mr wallingham oh yes one of the students cut himself I have always thought wood carving to be a dangerous sort of occupation perhaps you should give it up Helen no it wasn’t in the course of the carving he was being helpful opening a window for me Juiced car then just an accident it could have happened to anyone wouldn’t have happened to me when I open a window I open a window there was lots of blood wasn’t there Helen yes Pips no do stop I’m not fond of blood it took us minutes to stop the bleeding like a fleet of Florence Nightingales we were who is this fellow who has merited so much undeserved attention he’s a dra rather young and rather sweet on Helen what Don’t Be Cruel Emily I’m not cruel merely factual he likes you and you like him is this true is this true Oh Henry don’t sound like a heavy-handed elder brother the sooner I pass my examinations and start practicing as a proper solicitor the better you should be in London hel not stuck away in some silly provincial nowhere with Drapers winking at you only one Draper so far Henry oh Helen you Shan move to London we couldn’t manage without you I don’t plan to stay here forever you know but it may be years before our fortunes change till then mother and I will continue with our little lives while Henry makes our fortune in London without the prospect of his weekly wood carving class the summer seemed very Bleak indeed to Kips the visits home to his aunt and uncle on his half holidays also held little Delight since Anne was not there perhaps it was something about the bright sunny weather but discontent given voice at meal times seemed Rife at shalford’s morem Mr kid tough wouldn’t mind walking around the sand take the day off car shot I dare you oh and who’s my place no fear but I tell you I ain’t going to stay here all my life oh no what you going to do then go to politics how about you kid I want to be a norer see what I think is these writers can Bridge the classes I mean they’re low but they can climb to where they’ll tip Battlers almost like gentle e writers are all failed something else Dickens was a label of blacking Zachary was an artist who couldn’t sell a drawing Samuel Johnson walked to Landon without any boots Earth did he do that his fate must have killed him Pride he threw away his only pair of shoes out of Pride it’s lck with these writers they just happen to hit on something that catches on there you are nice easy life they have of it though right for an hour or so and done for the day there more work in it than you think I bet I think they copy from each other a good deal yeah they get the pictures everywhere just like royalty oh Mr Kips yes Mr shafford Mr Kips some of your tickets have been placed upside down in the window oh go and change him sir make sure you do oh god look sh yes Mr shord if I had a penny I’m blessed if I wouldn’t go and Tra myself off the end of the pier a penny it’s t to go on the P I’ll best go and do them ticket I shall go for a walk tonight after work at least it don’t get dark till late [Music] who’s that I are you at all hurt me was that you just hit me well not me exactly it’s these handles you know they’re too low and when I go to turn if I don’t remember why Biff and I’m into something a bicycle well you give me a right wner old leg oh these little Hills and folston are a fair treat I was back pedling for all I was worth honest I you believe I’m bleeding and me trouser legs all torn down you really ought to be more careful holy smoke you really are a bit chewed up I say come to my diggings and I’ll sew it up of course I’m entirely to blame oh L there’s a copper don’t get on I ran you down will you might be a bit awkward for me he’s all right he’s going the other way oh good come on I’m just around the corner Kip’s new friend was a figure with slightly anterior plumpness progressing buoyantly on nicker buered legs with quite enormous carves legs that contrasting with Kip’s own practice were even exuberantly turned out at the knees and toes on his head he wore a cycling cap from beneath which protruded straight wisps of dark red hair accidents will happen you know especially when you get me on a bicycle you aren’t the first I run down not by any manner of means most men after a bump like that would have been spiteful but you were a fair bit of all right about that policeman the least I can do is stand you a needle and thread there isn’t many men would have acted as you did cool as a cucumber a real gentleman now here we are come in come in make yourself at home I’ll get us a drink gips took in the chabby on sble of the little room a round table covered with a torn red cloth an extinct fire a number of Dusty postcards and memoranda stuck around the mirror a table littered with papers and cigarette Ash here we are then whiskey good old mathusa Canadian Ry there we are Cheers Cheers nice have a good look around what do you take me to be I don’t know these photos that lady in tou that’s a bit OT is this you in that funny costume you an actor getting warm here read this letter Dear Mr Cho if we’ll send the player you spoke of I can’t read the rest I don’t know what’s on them papers writing lots of writing those are manuscripts my dear fellow have some more whiskey oh um here oh tell very much the truth is I’m a playright well I never of course I’ve been everywhere and done everything practically I’m an actor too of course I’ve acted abroad you know had my name in reviews why I can remember the time I was getting 30 or $40 a week really in America that was I’ve been around the entire civilized world come to that you right place well of course I’m not quite up to the standard of Shakespeare or Ipson I have to be truthful about my talent a real writer chappie you know it’s curious how one runs up against people out bicycling I was just wanting someone to talk to a bit half an hour ago I didn’t know you existed and here we are talking like old friends have a cigarette oh don’t mind if I do this old methusa is going into my stomach like a burning torch Lovely isn’t it some people like soda with their whiskey I don’t no more do I that’s my man here you know you are a fellow of great promise you’re the sort of chap a chap like myself can sit and discourse with let me tell you most of the Coes I come across in the course of my theatrical wanderings no that’s not 10:00 is it must be don’t worry it’s early yet I’ll best be going now the fact is Mr shawford that’s my boss at the Emporium he shuts the ass door off past 10 hold on old chap hold on you can’t go back with your trouser in that state here I’ll s up the tear won’t take a minute you fill up your glass while I get a needle and thread go on take me half a minute I’m an expert with an needle ah found it now you just put your foot on that chair so I can see what I’m doing oh my Heavens wouldn’t this just make a bit of business in a FAL comedy actually it reminds me of the first scene I’ve written in a little play of mine this will make you love it’s a man wait for it wait for it a man with a live beetle down the back of his neck trying to seem at ease in a room full of people this it sounds fortunate oh sorry old chap oh it makes me shake just thinking of it it’s a killer that scene I tell you damn fine chlo damn fine may I say in all frankness that I have never met a finer intelligence than yours stronger there might be that I couldn’t say with certainty yet seeing how little after all we have seen of each other but a finer why never it really is a shame that such a fine not to say discriminating intelligence should be nightly locked up at 10 1030 and they won’t lock you out you know I’ve half a mind to recommend a friend of mine editor of a London Daily paper to put you forth with as dramatic critic in place of the current fool you do right I take it well I don’t think I’ve ever made up anything for print I’d have a thundering good try though mind you I’ve written window tickets after enough made them up and everything you’d be all the fresher for not having done it before I don’t suppose You’ be very literary but I don’t believe in the literary critics anymore than in literary playwrights plays Ain’t literature I don’t suppose they are really exactly plays is place no you’re all wasted down here I say and I’m hanged if I wouldn’t like your opinion of these first two acts of this tragedy I’m onto it wouldn’t take more than an hour to read well there’s the time there is let’s go then you all right oh something stabed me in the leg bless me if I didn’t leave the needle sticking in your trouser leg here I’ll just bite the cotton off there how does it feel I’ll try walking yeah I don’t seem to be able to walk as straight as I used to oh dear what up it’s too late I’ve been locked out what am I going to do now you can’t go and knock him up now can you you better try and sneak in in the morning with the cat no point worrying here have a night cap come to that I don’t care if I am locked out that’s the spirit drink up Cheers Cheers yeah I don’t feel very well here oh come and stick your head out of the window then oh look the moon’s spinning round and round very inspiring is Moonlight ah Love In The Moonlight have you much experience of love in the Moonlight little I remember once a Moonlight lovers quarrel with the daughter of a clergyman in York they say you can’t love two women at once but I tell you it’s rot oh yes I know all about that you can love two women at once I know all about that one you feeling better now yes thanks I’ll close the window then people say that loving more than one woman interferes with work not a bit of it artists must do it the work couldn’t go on without it artists haven’t the temperament for the work if they’re not in love with at least two women that’s just it however it is sometimes true that the morals of the theater do leave a little something to be desired adventure and the flesh that’s the thing you know I’ve sown my Wild Oats one has to but now I’m happily married to a born Lady her father’s a prominent solicitor in kinsh town mother second cousin to the wife of Abel Jones fashionable Portrait Painter almost Society people in a way is that so oh that doesn’t count with me anyhow I’m no snob Mrs Chito possesses and I say this without fear of contradiction the very finest completely untrained contralto voice in all the world to hear it properly you want a big Hall what is her family no think of my playwriting oh they see it as unmun no money in it but you and I both know that success and wealth are there only patience and uh perseverance are needed I have a little methusa certainly help yourself ah see character has you you can’t get away from character it’s that what makes tragedy psychology it’s the Greek irony ibson and all that I I’ve mentioned ibson haven’t I you do know ibson oh yes not exactly he’s a personal friend but well there’s one or two points where he is how shall I say a little defective who’s a little detective and by chance they happen to be points I am strong in of course I have no desire to place myself on an equal footing with him but honestly now do you think Ipson has ever seen a decent fight in a bar of course not my new tragedy in my opinion it is as well constructed as anything Ipson ever did shall I read it to you well no you’re quite right I’ll tell you about it that’s simpler because most of it is still Unwritten it’s a complicated plot all about a nobleman who’s seen everything and done everything and knows all about women damn fine old man damn fine I knew you’d see it oh boy that’s just the sort of thing the literary critic can’t see my hero you see is strong and ready for anything you got a talent chillo you an old mausa and just before he gets the girl my hero Kips by name what I said myo that what’s that you say this chap Kips I’m telling you about what cap chips you’re telling who about I just told you told me what the chap in my play the man who kisses the girl I never kissed a girl these words I can’t remember if I ever kissed down Pony or not she used to live next door I meant to kiss but no no it ain’t me what ain’t me my name’s Kips but ain’t kissed a girl never but he has in my play he does I tell you I haven’t my name is Kips that’s me look here chill you got no business putting my name into your play you mustn’t do things like that you lose my job straight away I haven’t got your name old chap I get my names from all sources like William Shakespeare did mostly I get my names out of the newspapers I got your name out of a newspaper my name ain’t even no newspaper it’s on me no no no no you’re missing the point look look look I’ll find it it’s here somewhere must be somewhere I swear look chlo I’m already in enough trouble for stopping out all night without my name put in place Mr soul will make the devil of a fuss and hand’s gone off to be your help and I shall see Miss W oh dear look here my good fellow you’ve probably drunk a little too much I’m not drunk you can sleep on the sofa got no springs but you won’t notice that I dare say have a little shut eye and stop talking rot I’m not talking rot can’t listen to know more help yourself to the sofa good night old chap oh bother good night I suppose and so the two friends parted Chito to retreat to his Slumber in bed punctuated by delicate if somewhat noisy exhalations Kips to sample that rare treat a sofa without Springs and to ponder in a rather hazy fashion whether his conduct to the night would lead him into unimagined troubles [Music] Paul dman played HG Wells Mark strer Kips and Nicholas Grace Cho in the first episode of Kips by HG Wells which has been dramatized in five episodes by Micheline W Helen Katherine hbert Emily rosin AES Kip’s Uncle John Hollis his Aunt Jane Wenham Sid Michael Jenner and MOA Leslie Mr shalford Michael Bilton buggins John Webb carshot Christopher Biggins Flo Helen Atkinson wood driver John Strickland Chester CPS Christopher good Henry wallingham Spencer Banks and Miss LX Margo Boyd the music was composed by Alona saat Kips was directed by Martin Jenkins [Music] [Music] Kips by HG Wells dramatized by Micheline wander music by Alona seat with Mark ster as Kips Nicholas Grace as Cho Christopher good as Chester coot and Paul danman as HG Wells the story [Music] tell episode two Kips lears something to his Advantage young Mr Arthur Kips Arty to his friends has completed an apprenticeship as a draper in the town of folkton here he has become enamored of one miss Helen Walsingham a lady teacher of wood carving this infatuation has somewhat put into the shade his childhood love for for one Miss Anne pornic the girl next door to the shop where he was brought up by his uncle and Aunt Kips you see is in the dark about his true parents after a somewhat unfortunate encounter with the bicycle driven by Harry chelo a member of the theatrical profession Kips has repaired to chito’s diggings to recover with the companionable help of a bottle of old methusa whiskey My Name by the way is HG Wells and I take a fond and particular interest in the fortunes of Mr Kips who I am very much afraid is this morning somewhat the worse for where Pap Papo philosophers missing he a leg Mr Kips hey what who’s that leave me alone it’s me chlo come on Rise and Shine dear oh dear what’s up I feel terrible oh my head you got a head and a mouth I’m stiff all over you put away a fair few stiff ones last night what oh are you saying I was drunk I wasn’t drunk I’ve never been drunk oh I don’t think I’ve better move too much hold tight then I’ll get you something for it in Kip’s head was one large angular idea if he moved his head the angular idea shifted about in the most agonizing way this idea was that he had lost his situation in Mr shelford’s Emporium and that he was utterly ruined here we are an egg cup full of Brandy to deal with that head and mouth it’s all right it’s neat and go along with that I’ll do you some anvy paste piping hot on buttered toast that beats all other remedies for head and mouth I’ve ever encountered you’ll be as right as rain I’ll have to go into work good idea fresh air will do the world of good little stroll if I can f my legs again you’ll be as right as rain hot buttered toasts coming up as Kips went up the High Street to face the inevitable Terrors of the office a faint Touch of pride in his depravity tempered his extreme self-abasement after all it’s not an unmanly headache I’ve been out all night drinking but what will Mr shord say oh Lord Mr Wells are you here well I’d be a proud man if it wasn’t for him there’ll be the juice of a r do you want to talk to you Kips I know I so was run down by a wild sort of bicycle and I took some whiskey to restore me and the fact is sir I can’t for the life of me understand how it got into me headed I don’t think so no no oh hey look out we’re here hello Kips Mr shellford wants to see you what now buckings yes before you go into the shop oh Lord good luck Kips Kips never in my life quite quite disgraceful moral welfare of my staff always said there was no system in you than a bad potato I can explain this no alternative gives me no pleasure shock to the very core oh my head up fol never like the way you wrote your tickets she was all an accident untied cut up your mustache crooked shopman not back they month’s notice oh what happened Kips swapped sacked month’s notice got given the key to the streets oh dear well I don’t care anyhow I’m sick of shafford and his draperies and systems and his loud voice but what have you done well actually I wasn’t in last night no where was you with an actor chappie I know very old friend one can’t always be living like a curet you know no fear oh no and this morning well wasn’t my mouth in there bad before I had to pick me up what’d you have an are not butter toast it’s the very best pickme up there is I never take no other and I don’t advise you to where’d you go with your friend oh Fair around the town you know what did you do oh well what’ you think uh don’t know well there’s some things best not talked about where others might hear you know what I mean oh yes I know what you mean I’ll be wanting to change you know if he hadn’t sacked me I’d have likely sacked him a curious thing but whenever I’ve left a post I’ve never believed I should get another but I have always so don’t lose heart whatever you do no I won’t lose heart not me and whatever you do keep hold of your collars and your cuffs don’t porn them porn your shirts if you must but always keep your collars anyhow it’s summer now so you won’t want your coat you got a good umbrella I’ve definitely got a good umbrella my advice to you is to go straight up to London London get the cheapest rooms you can find don’t eat too much many of chaps put his prospects in his stomach get a cup of coffee egg if you like but remember you got to be tidy the best places I believe are the old cabman’s eating houses thanks buggins I remember that astonishing lot of chaps you see all sorts look like Duke some of them high hat Payton boots frck coat all there others call their a caution Kips Boots Been Inked in Reading rooms hat wetted black ties spread over the chest shirt gone you know no shirt at it Mr Kips kindly take those curtains down into the packing room yes Mr shawford come in Mr shafford I got5 in the post office Savings Bank and I got 4 and six cash but I’ll have to buy a new Tim box for me belongings and then there’s paper and stamps for answering advertisements for a new job down Railway face when I go for interviews I’ll have to write letters and then there’ll be spelling to consider I suppose if nothing turns up before me month’s notices out I’ll have to go home to me uncle and Aunt in new Romney I’ve being a victim of Fate that’s what I’m disgusted with myself I really am here you down there Kips there’s a couple of customers two ladies just come in one of them was to speak to you where over there says her name is missingham oh Lord and me with a patched trouser go on she’s asking for you here he is Miss Mr Kips I thought I might see you here how are you very well thanks how are you fine I’ve been buying some ribbon with my mother it’s nice it’s very pleasant to see you on the holidays yes I I expect you’ll be going abroad for your holidays oh I expect we’ll go to Bru for a time I have plenty to do here though reading and that sort of thing uh that’s nice well I hope to see you when the Autumn when the wood carving starts you promised you’d come back I see my mother is waiting for me goodbye then uh goodbye miss wolsingham I shall never see her again never never never and Kips rushed for the darkest corner of the warehouse where on the lowest shelf the sail window tickets were stored he drew out the box of tickets with trembling hands and upset them on the floor and so having made for himself a justifiable excuse for being on the ground with his head well in the dark he could let his poor heart burst and have its way with him for a space keeps keeps forward Kips oh dear oh dear oh dear Kips customer gentleman customer wants in particular to be served by you can’t think why he’s waiting by the baby Ling seen by daylight Chito was not nearly such a magnificent figure as he had been by the subdued nocturnal lighting and beneath the glamour of his own interpretation there was a quality about the yachting cap an indefinable finality of dustiness a shiny finish on all the s surfaces of the reefer coat the red hair and the profile though still forcible and fine were less in the quality of Michelangelo and more in that of the merely picturesque but it was a bright brown eye still that sought amidst the interstices of the baby linen what can I do for oh it’s you Kips very man I want to see Hello Cho very man tell me Kips how old are you wait one and 20 what talk about coincidence and your name now wait a minute is it Arthur yes it is then you’re the man what man it’s just the thickest coincidence I ever struck half a gif and I’ll tell you your mother’s Christian name what did you say it’s in my pocket here somewhere oh no that’s my washing book uh here we are this bit of newspaper now then eia how about that what’s euphemia oh don’t say her name wasn’t euphemia our Kips and spoil the whole blessed show whose name your mother of course let me see what it says in that paper there you are under Wy or kips search for ala Wy or ala Kips son of Margaret euphemia Kip you see when I write my plays I go down the newspaper columns and if I like a name I take it I don’t believe in madeup names you see I’m with Zola in that document wherever you can I like names hot and real now who was Wy I never heard the name in me life never not W never what does it mean don’t stand there gaping man read what’s in the paper right um um it was born at East grinstead yeah I was born at East gred I’ve heard my aunt say I knew it I knew it on September the 1st 1878 well I was born then that day that year that’s right then it’s all all right now all you have to do is write to Watson and bean and get it get it you got to write to the solicitors and get it whatever it is it means so far as I can make it out that you’re going to strike it rich see that bit at the end you will hear something to your advantage now I believe in coincidences my dear chap I took up that newspaper by sheer chance and then I met you by chance everything’s coincidences seen properly incredible not a bit of it it’s you Kips Wy be damned don’t you worry about the Wy you’re about as right side up as as a billiard ball whatever you do do you think so it may be a million quid eh if so where does Harry Cho come in eh there’s the fun of it look there’s the governor I best be off think about it goodbye Kips Mr Kips an elliptical Bard Bo coming Mr shafford my aunt always said not to ask any questions about my mother I’m an orphan that’s what she told me no to ask about this a your keeps no it would upset the old apple cart I’ll just forget about the old thing tip’s customer wants a Remnant no trouble I ass you Rio can I help you madam no trouble I assure you but Kips could not forget the ADV verment try as he might that night in the dormet his preoccupation with chito’s information would not leave him you euphemia eia isn’t a name common people will give to a girl is it bins hey it isn’t a name any decent people would give to a girl common or not have you seen my other green sock what’s wrong with euphemia as a name it’s giving girls names like that that nine times out of 10 makes them go wrong it unsettles them if ever I was to have a daughter If Ever I was to have a dozen daughters I’d call them all Jane every one of them you couldn’t have a better name than that good Lord is that one of my cers there under your bed so it is well I don’t see no gray arm in eia I’ll wrap all me washing in me shirt I wonder where that other sock got to can I borrow your pen buggin certainly what you going to write a letter yes I no uh yes some letters for another job father what else buggins what what do these ear advertisements mean what say so and so will he is something greatly to his Advantage debts more often than not isn’t money left and that sort of thing no they just make you think that so they can get old of you deserted wives try to get their husbands back that way well couldn’t it be Legacy sometimes perhaps if someone’s left1 by someone hardly ever what sort of job you going to look for I ain’t sure yet ah you’ll be all right maybe that other sock is Stu me to on the damn bed here I hope I haven’t broke nothing well well I found me other sock it’s an ill wind eh glad you got your sock old CH good night then don’t keep the gas on too long I’ll just finish this letter if if it should happen to be1 well I could hold out for a whole year buggin I say buggins what now now suppose you saw one of these advertisements saying you did something to your advantage I died now good night old chat good night buggins a t v e r t i see yours obligingly Arthur Kips I’ll post the letter [Music] tomorrow Mr Watson and bean bean At Your Service old Bean do sit down young man I’ve come about the advertisement keep some Wy oh Splendid Splendid young man no the pap see here somewhere a bit Dusty I’m afraid now here we are property let’s see money quite some thousands of pounds I do believe fortunate young man portrait of your mother dead spitting image I must say exact resemblance you poor dear departed mother house in folon funny name yon congratulations my dear CH well you can knock me down with a feather but would you mind going back over that again sir a little more slowly perhaps if you don’t mind what oh very well clear as day a forward if you insist young man some days later Kips arrived to inspect his house on the seafront he was carrying his umbrella although the weather was fine and dressed in his breast clothes I say just look at that a green balcony and red curtains a bronze knocking Two Bells I’ve got to tell someone here you are you addressing yourself to me sir listen would you think that house there belong to me I’d have you arrested young man it’s too hot to talk to fools but Ione to tell you oh B he’s gone I’ve got to tell someone he was aware of someone crossing the road far off ahead of him someone curiously relevant to his present extraordinary state of mind it was Chito chlo of course in what told me about all in the first place the playright was marching boyant along his nose in the air the yachting cap on the back of his head and the larged freckled hand grasped too novels from the library a morning newspaper and a net bag full of onions and tomatoes chillo I’ll say that chillo chill oh bother again yes ner me bad luck KBS oh it’s not bad luck Mr Wells I’ve had wonderful luck but there ain’t no one to tell that’s me don’t be dared you know already well there are others others who oh I get it I’ve got to tell everyone in the Emporium now I should never have thought of that that’s it that’s what want’s doing this think this money well it won’t be real to I’ve told someone I’m all right Mr Wells I’m all right you ain’t such a bad fellow Mr Wells thank you very much Mr Gibs oh sry buggins what do you think where you been Kips you slipped out cuz has gone to London ain’t something more like what been left a fortune yeah I’ve been left £1,200 12200 a year a year well I never did you hear that car shot Mr Kips has been left £1,200 he hasn’t my heart and liver straight well I never here here flow baits have you heard Mr Kips has been left ,200,000 oh God has he really that’s right oh congratulations Mr K to very much it isn’t that much only £26,000 Al together it’s true and I’m leaving I Shan stay here any longer W you work out your notice no well this is something we all got to celebrate we certainly have sh what shampers shampers it is Kips you ought to stand us all some champers some what champagne Kips champagne oh just what was in my mind this very instant champagne I’ll pop next door and get some here’s a sovereign I’ve got four more of them in my pocket why you thinking of marrying anyone Mr kid get home with you flow P oh back in a JY I’m sure if anyone deserves it it’s you Kips I’ve got it £35 and9 a day a day I’ve worked it out my heart and liver £35 and9 a day when he sold Bean the solicitor chapy told me you could have knocked me down with a feather it was a relative what died you’ll be quite a swell now you won’t hardly know yourself many real gentleman’s families have to do with L you’ll go to London I reckon one of them gentleman’s Flats gentle CL and about town violets in your button all down the Burlington arcade oh best champers use your change Mr Kips now someone get the cups yeah what about the shop hang the shop who’s got a cork screw thing to cut the wire here by Lucky chance I have a wire cutter right here stand back everyone quick the cups catch it catch it to Mr Kips Mr oh I bet you wouldn’t stay here now not if Mr shord offered you ,000 pound no fear me I’d go to the Rockies and shoot Bears I’d certainly have run over to bology and look about a bit he’s very good the shampers they say it cheers you up but you don’t get drunk oh it isn’t hardly stronger than lemonade they drink it at dinner some of them every day what a three and six p a bottle oh they don’t stick at that not the shampers S well this is a lovely send off tell everyone I don’t know what to say oh you do me honor really you do you deserve it oh couldn’t happen to a nicer chat wish it had happened to me though he if you ever get tired of all that money Kip well everyone we we best be getting back to work we we Shan Forget You Kips all your good fortune very attractive land new season sunshades markable thing all of our sisters Legacy 1200 this chicken strong mam strong where it all is stronger the lemonade the bus that pies between folston and new Romney is painted a British red it is a slow and portly bus even as a young bus it must have been slow and portly this bus it was this Ruddy and venerable bus trundled down the folston hill with unflinching deliberation with Kips and all his fortunes Seated on the highest seat he was on his way to bring the good news to his aunt and uncle he was disguised as a common young man but held a banjo septer Fashion on his knee and many a king has ridden into a conquered city with a lesser sense of Splendor than Kips you Romney everybody off thank you my man I’ll just get my p man down you bling n Uncle ay Kips what you doing here it in early closing is it I got some news for you you ain’t lost your situation have you what’s that a banjo spending your money on banjos I’m BL if I ever saw a boy such as you here let’s get your Port man to the shop here Molly look who’s here what you got a port man for Anyway come through to the back room then ay what never brought you home I’ve got something to tell you I’ve had a bit of luck oh come and sit down dear you ain’t been backing Godless soures have you no fear it’s a Dred raffle look he’s won this trashy banjo and he’s thrown up his situation on the strength of it that’s what he’s done going about singing you ain’t thrown up your place I have I throw it up but what for so is to learn the banjo Lord I’m going to dress up and play and sing on the beach I’m going to have a tremendous luck and earn any amount of money I’m going to earn 26,000 pounds is easy as nothing he’s been drinking it’s all right really a I ain’t mad and I ain’t really been drinking I’ve been left money £26,000 £26,000 that’s it and you thrown up your place yes rather bought this sper some smart new trousers and come right on here well I never oh these ain’t my new trousers my new trouses ain’t done I’ve never heard anything like it it’s really true I got all that money and an house on the sea FR of I didn’t think it of you ay what do you mean they’ve been having a lck with you someone’s been having a lck with you I dare say that Sid pornic what used to live next it’s got nothing to do with it h it’s someone after your place at shawford very likely un Co I saw this advertisement in the paper then I wrote a letter I went to an office and I saw an old gent and he told me all about it said his name was Watson and bean well heast way he was Bean Watson was the other one he said the money was left me by my grandfather good Evans the old gentleman’s name was Woody it was his son was my father Wy Wy she’d never say she never told us euphemia would never tell us eia was your mother’s name I know that it said so in the newspaper ay there was this young lawyer chap that was around here a while back asking questions this explains it all now I suppose it must be true then how much did you say he left you me boy £1,200 a year £26,000 all together just before he died my grandfather made his will Mr Bean said he’d never forgiven his son not till then his son my father that is died in Australia years and years ago but just when he was ill and dying my grandfather seemed to want someone of his own and he told Al Bean that it was him what prevented my mother and father from marrying well NE oh poor F me what a turnup what do you think of it all then I oh you must be starved after that long ride on the bus fancy and Ice Welsh rabbit yes please with two weeks well you’ll have to be careful Arty precious careful old Ban said I got to be careful oh you got to be precious careful of this old Bean I’ve heard a thing or two about solicitors you keep your eye on Old Bean my boy Pary matches will you he look very respectable a bit untidy but very respectable how do we know what he’s up to with your money though he was very nice to me Uncle well we best drink your health in a bit of whiskey boy have you ever drunk whiskey well you’ll have to learn a lot of new ways aarty for instance it’s your duty to marry into a County family now you mustn’t marry beneath yourself well I thought I might buy a bicycle I’ve always wanted a bicyle you could ever been a shoo in somewhere there’s lots of noblemen the glad to hang around you I read all about that if you’re really starved ay you can have two wellsh rabbits oh that’s a real tree on well here you are Molly oh you’re Health in me boy to you Arty Kips to you Arty at the end of this most pleasant evening replete with rabbits and whiskey Kips carried his flaring candle up the narrow uncarpeted staircase to the little attic that had been his and refuge during all the days of his childhood and youth his head was whirling a terrific multitude of plans came crowding into his brain I shall go into the wood carving class and I shall say that I’ve always loved miss Helen Walsingham and I’ve brought only 26,000 in an envelope and I shall give it to her I want nothing in return I shall keep my banjo and buy a little present for Lan and a bicycle oh what a l what will they says po KS curtains Goods Goods Goods get away from me away go away his quilt slipped off his bed the cold woke him for a moment he had a curious fancy that the world had been swept up like a carpet and that he was nowhere buggins I say buggins you there you’re in your arm uncle’s house Gibs oh l l all that money and he fell asleep again dreaming of a gentle shower of banknotes inexplicably mixed with silver half sixpences which floated light as feathers through the air and among them Anne porn’s lovely face half a six for you Arty and half a six for me you keep yours and I’ll keep mine two ARS of the same coin and then more and more banknotes covered the sixpences in his dream it was suddenly clear to him that he need never trouble to get up punctually again the fact Shone out upon him like a star through clouds he was free to lie in bed as long as he liked he could have eggs for breakfast every morning or rashers or bloater paste he was going to astonish Miss Walsingham astonish her and ason her soon the whole room was flooded with warm Golden Sunshine I say bird I got 1200 a year 1,200 a year I say I say I say he jumped out of bed and began dressing very eagerly he didn’t want to lose any time in beginning the new life [Music] a week later Kips took delivery of a new suit of flannels a Panama Hat and a red tie attired in his new outfit he decided to enter the Palace of local learning the public library to this end he chose a silver mounted stick with a torto shell handle and as he contemplated himself in the glass he decided he looked very smart just as he was about to enter the library with some trepidation he caught sight of a familiar figure mounting the steps in front of him a refined and amiable figure equally aware of society and the serious side of life from amateur theatricals to science classes few things are able to get along without him why Mr Chester cot My Dear Mr Kips coming into the library just thought I’d look around come along then Mr Chester coot walked with a curious rectitude of bearing he had a great big head full of the suggestion of a powerful mind well under control and he was carrying a large official looking envelope in his white and knuckly hand in the other he carried a gold handled cane he wore a silken gray suit buttoned up he had a prominent nose slate gray eyes and a certain heaviness about the mouth which hung breathing open with a slight protrusion of the lower jaw his Straw Hat was pulled down a little in front and he looked each person in the eye as he passed them and directly his look was answered he looked away I thought you left folston my dear chap heard about your good fortune congratulations sir I’ve been back 3 days in my house I can El here you know it must mean a tremendous change for you oh rather change why I don’t hardly know where I am you know quite believe it I’ve got an housekeep on everything fancy me be rich eh what kind of books are you looking for well I haven’t got a ticket yet but I shall get one and have a go at reading I’ve often wanted to good idea rather first class idea I’ll just have a look at one or two here you doing anything because yeah well would you care to come back and have a look at my house and have a cheat I’d be awfully glad if you would if it wasn’t n the wrong hour or anything delighted my dear fellow oh come along then oh this is me gosh nice not to have to whisper eh you your throat Whispering do you smoke sometimes I say isn’t the view lovely Over the Sea hey what view it’s a beautiful sunset is it perfect light for painting do you paint oh not since I was boy I don’t believe I could now my sister’s a painter I sometimes wish I could find time to paint myself but one can’t do everything that’s just it just look at the harbor the squat dark masses of the harbor station crouched against the Twilight gray of the sea if one could capture that yes it would take some doing don’t you think oh yes it needs an eye well it would it’s very calm a good sea for crossing have you been over the water much not much but I think I’ll run over to belog soon well you must visit a little bar restaurant I know just behind the guard the where just behind the railway sidings it is you’ll have all the time in the world now yes to be frank with you I don’t know I’m going to fill it all sometimes well you can take an interest in local Affairs now for example there’s lady punet she’s very keen on private theatricals and hospitals Ben is my good friend Mr denmore a curate you know you’ll be bound to get on will I oh yes some people get on and some people don’t some people are in everything and some people are out of everything oh I’ll get you yeah let’s go on to my house I think you’ll like it this was the old gentleman’s study my grandfather he used to sit at that desk and write just there books oh no letters to the times and things like that you got them all cut out and stuck in a book it’s in one of these book cases very nice I say KS I’ll have that smoke now yeah have one of these fine case you’ve got there thank you pig skin with real gold decorations I have one myself come in yes uh Mr Kips yes that’s me the housekeeper told me to come in what for I’ve come about the post of housemade oh Lord anything wrong uh no uh sit down my dear clean forgot I’ve got to interview her what on Earth do I say don’t worry I’ll help now um my dear yes you’ve come about the post as housemid yes I need an housemid you see yes well well would you like to ask us anything yes that’s it you ask us something well the wage oh my housekeeper will take care of that ask her anything else will I have a half day I dare say the housekeeper can fill you in about that and when do you want me to start well we ain’t got a mouse made just at the moment that’s why I’m looking you see straight away then well yes straight away that’s it well I’ve brought my references that’s excellent my dear yeah oh just give them to the housekeeper now yes that’s a very good idea go and give them to her now she’s in the kitchen all right is that all then oh yes I think that’s quite all I can start then well what do you think Chester well I think so yes my dear just sorted all out with the housekeeper thank you very much sir I’m very grateful oh that’s quite all right goodbye then oh thank you goodbye oh by the way what’s your name my dear Mary sir Mary very nice very unusual oh thank you sir sir my dear C what would I have done without you turn mention it my dear fellow oh you’re in for such a good time I don’t know there’s mistakes of course people make mistakes that’s just it but one can’t help being interested in what you will do of course for a man of Spirit come suddenly into wealth there’s bound to be Temptation oh I’ve got to go carefully I know that yeah sit down on that LEL chair there thank you you must watch out for pitfalls betting companions bad Companions and then there’s doubt I knew a young fellow once handsome gifted and yet you know utterly skep L not a naist I fear so really an awfully fine fellow but full of this Dreadful modern Spirit nature and all that the Uber men utterly cynical I knew a chat once always scoffing one of our apprentices he left never wrote for his references enlisted and often it’s just the most spirited chat just the chats ones like best who go wrong Temptation you get tempted before you know where you are modern life is so complex it isn’t everyone who’s strong half the fellows who go wrong aren’t really bad of course not one gets a turnone from one surrounding you do I picked up with a chap a while ago in actor least ways he writes plays clever fellow of course it’s seeing life but is it worth it that sort of life eh exactly one gets talking then it’s having a drink old mausa freestyle whiskey and then where are you I’ve been drunk you know lots of times dozens of times in fact lately one thing’s led to another really oh yes card say girls but one can’t tell Tails out of school it was bad enough when money was limited but now oh I’ve got a steady down you really must old chap yes I must actually I didn’t mean to say I’ve been really bad or really drunk an headache perhaps three or four ttimes but there it is do you know I’ve never tasted alcohol in my life never no it isn’t that I feel I should get drunk oh no but once I start taking it then that means that there’s another person in the world who doesn’t know when to stop you see that’s just it I smoke of course one doesn’t want to be a total Philistine and of of course companionship counts for so much you know in my new position what they really want is refinement a bit of culture know what I mean now is a chap to get it the chaps in the shop where I used to work are all very well but not what one wants understand you well you could do something about your name how’ you mean well you spell it k IPS consider this c u y PS c u y no never heard of the fellow it’s you cyps spells Kips do it have I been spelling it wrong all these years no no that is one small way in which you’ll immediately impress someone with your signature so I’m still me of course but instantly smarter I think about that and there’s another thing that Miss Walsingham the wood carving teacher I’d like to talk to her but a Chap’s afraid of giving your away you see I went to a school a middle class school but it wasn’t really a first class Affair the teacher didn’t pain pains with us we wore Mor Boards of course but if you didn’t want to learn you needn’t see now I’ve got all this money now practically speaking I’m a gentleman but I don’t know what to do indeed a gentleman has responsibilities calling on people for instance oh I read about that in a magazine if you want to go on knowing someone you got to call on them that’s refined but I’m a real fish out of water with all this what about your friends well the shop chaps I told you about they come around to have supper and a bit of a sing song afterwards I bought this banjo you see and I sing and vamp a bit you know a company I got this book ad a vamp I haven’t got very far with it yet but I’m going to you want to get on I do I feel I’ve got behind with everything I want to get with educated people who know how to do things in a regular proper way well if I can be of any use to you but you’re so busy all your committees only 13 not too busy I could help you if you’d like me to would you really your cases are very interesting one it’s fascinating listening to you talk is it I confess I’ve rarely talked to anyone that I found so easy to draw out I seem to be able to say things to you somehow I’m glad I’m tremendously glad what is you see I want a friend let’s it straight my dear CH I hope that isn’t too forward my dear Kips I I want a friend too really yes really you know I’m rather a lonely dog myself and tonight why why I haven’t spoken so freely to anyone for months well I never and if there’s anything I can do there is there is it’s all these things I don’t know for instance clothes I don’t even know if I’m dressed proper now you can trust me to guide you on clothes and if say you was introduce me to your friend lady pet what do I call her and it might not end with Lady pet suppose I met royalty by accident of course indeed how might you address royalty did you suppose your Majesty’s goodness something like that and on the knee and you going wear velvet breaches and a sword at court everyone walks about backwards at court we’re not actually on their knees well right there well as far as lady pet goes you’d say and so they became friends intimate confidential highth thinking soov V friends Mr Chester coot was responsible for taking Kips to his very first concert during which Kips found it very difficult to concentrate since there were no words however for some mysterious and inexplicable reason as the music went on he found himself picturing the face of a certain young lady a certain Miss Anne pornic who used to live next door to him when he was a boy and whose sweet face smiled at him through the [Music] sound I’ve been thinking I like you a I like you AE I wish she was my girl then I say will you be my girl would you like to be my girl well yeah all right if you like Arty all right then then you are all right [Music] then he I got this idea I read in the magazine tibit actually that lavs give each other tokens what’s a token well you take something and divide it in two like you might take six and break it into two why should you do that it’s no good if it’s broke you divide it in two and then you keep one bit each that’s what a token is [Music] see the idea is I have off and you have off and when we’re separated you look at yours and I look at mine and we think of each [Music] other wasn’t that absolutely delightful oh yes I never knew that music had so much in it you see my friend everything is possible I think that music is the most marvelous thing that’s ever been invented except for sixpences of course what’s that uh nothing just thinking that’s [Music] all the next morning Kips came down to breakfast looking grave a man with much before him in the world good morning sir would you like your breakfast now yes please Mary what is there today well there’s hadock or Kipper or Whiting or fishballs then when there’s eggs boiled or scrambled or eggs and bacon there’s kidneys and the cook may have some liver such offerings contrasted brightly with shalford’s generous indeed Unlimited Supply of bread and margarine for breakfast at the Emporium you could have sausages black pudding or white pudding bubble and squeak no fried cabbage today I’m afraid and then there’s potted meat German sausage Brawn marmalade and two sorts of jam nice well I’ll have what I had yesterday and lots of toast oh we got plenty of toast sir shall I bring up the post as well yes please Mary very well happy Kips oh good morning Mr Wells yes I think that I can say that I am happy in anticipation of my breakfast long word what breakfast anticipation in anticipation of I got off a letter in anticipation of your reply it said there’s some begging letter of I think they wanted T Bob to put down socialism sounded very cheap to me did you send it to them of course not I thought it’ take a lot more than 10 Bob to put down Socialism or any of them political things and if I start sending them money where will it stop nah I like this picture of them waiting in a room for me letter sort of anticipation room hey well like waiting room never mind excuse me orange juice bacon egg sausage devil kidneys brwn tomato fried bread toast marmalade coffee and your post under my arm thank you Mary parcel post oh bless me what now hardly holding together nails and Knots everywhere oh thanks Mary dead heavy and all now then I’ll use me knife it’s not working try the poker right there we go look at this little lot and he’s not even be birthday a copy of Punch’s pocketbook for 1875 you carry on reading them out MOS is in ly an illustrated work on spinal curvature the Scottish Chiefs a little volume on the language of flowers coer kle PA candle snuffers brass new hor a tea C two decanters one with a stoper well I never here let me look at that book Kirk’s human physiology I’d like to know more about all this I say look at this young fell all cut open you can see his insides Mr Wells so you can well this is a new view of humanity all together you just look at that tubes tub excuse me again well come in a gentleman to see you sir a Mr chido no show up Mary by means certainly oh hello there Kips thank you sir not busy I hope mey smells Choice come in and sit down my dear fellow help yourself don’t mind if I do what’s this devil kidney h M I’ve been thinking and I wanted to come straight around and share it all with you can I have some of this Brawn T remember that play I told you about what play the one I told you about the night we met the one that could teach Ipson or trick or two well I pulled it all to pieces and put it together again my word well when we were talking you said something I don’t know if you meant it about buying my play did I not the tragedy mind I wouldn’t sell my own twin brother a share in the tragedy you got a twin brother oh that’s my witty old Kips no no that’s a serious work that’s an investment it’s that new F I was telling you about the thing with the business about a live beetle on a man’s neck oh yes I remember that knew you would pass the coffee please right thanks well now a quarter share of £1 I think you suggested a quarter I’ve changed the title see what you think of it it’s called The pested Butterfly well it’s not please finish up with devil kidney St see instead of the hero getting a beetle down his neck and rushing about in the first scene I made him a collector of rare butterflies so anyway this butterfly comes in at window Center and Popple waddle that’s the hero he rushes around after it forgets he mustn’t let on he’s in a stranger’s house classic fast stuff after that he tells them it’s a rare butterfly worth lots of money some of them are you know butterfly can’t get out of the room if every time it tries Rush Scurry well what do you think of it so far how can you get a butterfly to do acting that’s the Ipson touch like the wild duck my heroin when they’re chasing the butterfly she’s onto it she looks that’s me she says she’s the pested butterfly do you see Biff the pested butterfly oh it’s much more legitimate than the wild duck where there isn’t even a real duck on stage oh knock them knock them it knock I’ve been working like a horse on it you’ll have a gold mine in that quarter aips how will he I mean I don’t mind it suited me to sell and it suited you to buy Biff I say you you haven’t any Brandy in the house have you just an egg cupful to pull me Steady I got some whiskey oh whiskey will do oh here we are you see whenever I have a serious change in a play I’m thinking about I always take a day off like today in the end it saves time there’s no point in doing well when you might have to do it all over again Cheers Cheers presently Chito and Kips went for a great walk not a long one but a great one they clambered up to the crest of the cliffs by a precipitous path that Chito endowed in some mysterious way with suggestions of Alpine Adventure he talked of his great Obsession of plays and playwriting and that empty absurdity that is so serious to its kind his art that was a thing that needed a monstrous lot of explaining you see my dear Kips art is a fine unble thing and I myself am interested only in the Practical realization of high ideals about the drama I have a very fine understanding of these things you know I haven’t toured for nothing oh no along they went sometimes AB breast sometimes in single file up the little paths and down the little paths and in among the bushes and out along the edge above the beach and Kips tried ever and again to get an insignificant word in edgeways and the gestures of Chito flew wide and far and his great voice voice Rose and fell and he said this and he said that and he biffed and banged into the circumambient inaine I my dear Kips and embarked on nothing less than the reform of the British stage and you my friend stand in a long line of noble amateurs who are interested in such a worthy Enterprise between you and me I am doing you a very great favor which I am sure you appreciate well how’s that chill Why by letting you have a small share in my gold mine indeed if you will let me advise you as a purely impartial friend it would be no bad thing at all to buy half actually and this is no more than just a suggestion you could do worse than purchase the entire play and produce it forth with producer of course of course quite right to ask there would be a royalty system of course actually as we talk I wonder whether a fce is the best way to revolutionize British drama perhaps it might be better to take the tragedy as yet unfinished which displays all that I know about women and which centers on a Russian nobleman I have it you could back both play play and then who knows what may follow you might produce several plays you could even found a National Theater what is it lost at any rate I am glad at least that you and the comedy and I are settled oh do excuse me for waving my arms around it happens when I get excited about my work my wife is always scolding me about it oh D that sort of thing I hope I’m not too overwhelming a personality for you oh no I knew you were a man of discernment when I first met you only 00 to purchase one quarter of a Sure Fire successful play oh all right then done my dear chap my dear matey oh you finally managed to persuade me let me shake you by the hand you won’t regret this not for one second and now I can’t stay chatting all morning The Muse calls goodbye my dear fellow goodbye goodbye chlo what’s wrong Gibs I don’t know Mr Wells yes I do I think I should have to tell C he’s taking too much for granted why didn’t you tell him when he was here it’s very hard to do in his presence I can think about it easy enough when he’s not here I don’t know about this1 well it is only £100 and it was Chito who in a manner of speaking brought you to your fortune in the first place that’s true he did point out an advertisement what got me something to my advantage you’re quite right you and so and so oh I’ll let him have that money what do I care eh what do I care that’s the spirit Mr Kips after all the whole world is in front of you now the whole world [Music] Paul danman played HG Wells Mark Staker Kips and Nicholas Grace Cho in the second episode of Kips by HG Wells which has been dramatized in five episodes by Michelin Wonder buggins John web carshot Christopher Biggins Chester coot Christopher good Mr sh Michael Bilton old Bean John Strickland Flo and the maid Helen ainson Wood Kip’s Uncle John Hollis his Aunt Jane Wenham Helen Katherine hbert and Anne MOA Leslie the music was composed by Alona seat Kips was directed by Martin Jenkins ah [Music] [Music] Kips by HG Wells dramatized by Michelin wander music by Alona seat with Mark ster as Kips Katherine hbert as Helen John Hollis as Kip’s uncle and Paul danman as HG Wells the [Music] Storyteller episode three Kips gets engaged Arthur Kips once a draper by trade has come into a fortune living now a large house in Folkston with a housekeeper and maid’s mind he’s been worrying that education and learning have passed him by in particular he is rather anxious to be able to do the right thing when he calls on Kips has learned that refined persons call on other refined persons when he calls on a miss Helen Walsingham a teacher of wood carving whose careful prite Beauty has caught his heart as someone who takes a close interest in the young man’s welfare I am a little concerned that this infatuation has quite put out of his mind Anne pornic the girl next door and his childhood sweetheart still Anne has gone into service somewhere and Kips is ignorant of her whereabouts so I shall not judge too harshly My Name by the way is HG Wells I am what Mr Kips would call uh Norther at this moment Kips is about to make a call on a Mr Chester coot a young gentleman who is easing him into the ways of etiquette you look very smart today Mr giips oh hello Mr Wells do I really tell very much a very smart silk cette if I may say so use is it it was clean when I put it on no I mean the color sort of red I reckon never mind now are you very clear about what you must do upon calling knock on the door no I mean should there be no one at home you will have to leave a card card you mean yeah I’ve got a pack of cards at home but why should I want to leave playing cards a calling card a card with your name on it with your compliments oh l oh dear what am I going to do well it seems a shame to waste your cat on the world should you decide to turn back let’s see it first if anyone is at home fortunately we’re nearly there yeah but we’re right outside it yeah well done off you go do I not double or single neither there’s a bell right yes sir Mr Kips call in on Mr Chester coot very well sir would you care to come in don’t mind if I do just a moment sir yes of course Gams look you can see into the drawing room a black and gold piano a glazed bookcase a Moorish Cozy Corner on the mantle shelf a number of cards of invitation to meetings and recital yeah Mr Wells what’s that that’s a bust of Boven just look at all them pictures H probably done by Miss C oh yes his sister what paints who what his sister who pains that’s what I just said shh Mr Wells right Mr Kips how very kind of you to call I’m Chester’s sister how do you do how do you do Miss coot I’m afraid Chester has just gone down to the art school to see about some drawing or other he’ll be back soon will you wait I don’t mind if I do I’ve been looking at your paintings do you paint not really where are all these views of well this one is of the cliff stunn from the sea front no I would never have recognized them isn’t it funny how things look in a picture oh oh but they’re awfully good thank you Mr KBS wish arip pain that’s what Chester says but I tell him he’s got better things to do ah Chester I was just Entertaining Mr Kips with an account of my painting brother glad to see you my dear CH well I’ll just go see about te if you’ll excuse me what capital timing my dear chap come into my study it’s rather cozy in there good study was a little bedroom put to studious uses over the mantle he had an array of things he had been led to believe indicative of culture and refinement a Swiss carved pipe with many joints a phenological bust a picture of what’s painting minor a table under the window bore a little microscope some dust in a saucer some grimy glass slips and broken cover glasses for C had gone in for biology a little the longer side of the room was given over to bookshelves neatly edged with pinked American cloth and with an array of books Lord what a lot of books you’ve got oh yes yeah why have you got lots of copies of the same book that my dear fellow is the encyclopedia britanica oh then there’s Tennyson Charles Kingsley Rosetti some HG Wells modern writer and this is a photograph of amuel Cathedral nothing enlarges the mind like travel and books well I’ve often wanted to have a good go in at reading well so long as you avoid trashy reading you ought to make a rule Kips to read one serious book A Week of course we can learn from novels nice novels that is but it isn’t the same as a serious book here’s one such Pond Life by Mrs tadl toone they look very difficult not really ah this will interest you manners and rules of good Society yeah oh by a member of the aristocracy I say Bor it Mia chap may I really of course what’s that that’ll be tea Oh Come [Music] Along ah there you both are and look who else is called Helen [Music] oh here was Helen Walsingham solid and real the Easy Flow of the dark hair back from her brow over her ears the shapeliness of the white hands that came out from her simple cuffs the delicate penciling of her brow oh dear Mr Wells what should I do just relax and be yourself Gibs right oh good afternoon Miss W Singham well done Mr Gibs what a very pleasant surprise are you back in folston with us uh just here on a bit of business I thought you was on holiday in bru tea with milk Mr Kips uh tough thanks my mother and I decided to wait until my brother takes his holidays solicitors are such busy chaps and he’s qualified now you know very important we shall go to Bru when he is free to accompany us now where are you staying in folon oh actually I’ve got a house of my own it’s called huon oh but of course I heard all about your good fortune from Miss coot sugar Mr Kips I don’t mind just as you like some bread and butter I am a bit hungry just a slice thanks don’t I get a plate for the bread Mr Wells no you’ll have to balance it on the edge of your sorcerer when are we going to sit around the table this is a migratory method of taking tea to which you will have to become a customer careful oh sorry I seem to have dropped me bread oh it’s all right I don’t mind eating off the floor did you go to the concert last night har oh yes a Divine rendition of the Moonlight sonat I thought quite Heavenly bread kids no best not I do hope you will all come to the next concert who is giving it pki it should be superb quite superb I recall a concert he gave somewhere in London so exciting Mr KBS now that you have altered your station shall you remain here in Fon with us I don’t really know yet I’ve got an uncle and Aunt in new romley I might go back there for a bit I just don’t know yet well I expect the world is now your oyster my what you will be able to go anywhere you like Paris Florence there’s a girl called Flo works at the D’s Emporium where I was before I come into my money well I could visit her why you York even I thought of popping over to belog but just for a look around at any rate if you stay in dull old folston with us you must go to the next recital oh yes I’m sure you will enjoy it if you do I dare say I shall I don’t know much about music but I do know what I like I got banjo oh and you must very definitely call on mother and me before we depart for broue oh rather that would be delightful Miss coot may I borrow that drawing board from you but of course it’s in my studio thank you goodbye then goodbye goodbye miss Walsingham don’t forget to call well I’ll best be off and all hold on a moment I’ve got another book to lend you Raskin Sesame and lies is that about food it’s about art Mia oh tough and be sure you read manners and rules of good Society very carefully thanks C you’re real friend next time I’ll let you have a book on Vitality that you might find helpful on his way home Kips began to wonder about the precise effect of his behavior at tea on Miss Walsingham by the time he arrived he was full of anxiety that he might have offended or otherwise upset her once in the privacy of his study he took out the book which Chester coot had lent him here we are manners and rules of good Society a cheap magnificent cover of red and gold 21st edition whatever that means go on then what read it turn over the page now start there those individuals who have led secluded or isolated lives or have hitherto lived and moved in other spheres than those wherein well-bred people move will gather all the information necessary from these pages to render them thoroughly conversant with the manners and amenities of society is all one sentence now go on the art of conversing go on you read it having thus acquired possession of an idea the little ship should not be abruptly launched into deep Waters but should first be permitted to Glide gently and smoothly into the shallows that is to say the conversation should not be commenced by broadly or roundly stating a fact or did did didactically expressing an opinion as the subject would thus be virtually or summarily disposed of or perhaps be met with a really or indeed or some equally brief mon monic reply I don’t think much of this carry on if an opposite opinion were held by the person to whom the remark were addressed he might not if a stranger care to express it in a form of a direct contradiction or actual descent to Glide imp perceptibly into the conversation is the object to be attained I don’t get a word of this do you want to learn or don’t you of course I do then go back to the beginning and read it all through again having thus acquired possession [Music] [Applause] when gips finally made his call on the wallingham it happened rather differently from the prescriptions set down in manners and rules so differently indeed that he was rather lost from the outset instead of the footman or maid servant which the book had said was proper to these occasions Miss Walsingham opened the door to him herself Mr KBS what a pleasant surprise I thought I called oh do come in you won’t think it unconventional of me to invite you in mother is out just at the moment I don’t mind if you don’t mind the Walsingham dwelling struck Kips as being smaller and rather less emphatically colored than that of the Coots and in which at first only a copper bowl of white poppies upon the brown tablecloth caught his attention I’ve told mother all about you she’ll be delighted to meet you come into the drawing room I’m looking forward to meeting her well she’s gone out to make some Duty course I didn’t go I had something to write I write a little you know really oh it’s nothing match one must do something what do you think of our view Mr keeps we look straight onto the square it’s Pleasant in early spring like bright green laid on with a dry brush and it’s very pleasant in autum I never thought of it like that the colors in eh yes I like it is that your garden out there it’s only a little garden are you interested in gardening well I’ll grew a penny worth of nerian once my uncle’s desp we’ve just got that little patch of turf and my narcissi and yellow wall flowers it’s nice it’s small but this is the day of small things oh if you were writing when I came in I must be interrupting you oh no I’d finished were you making up something well I try quite vainly to write stories one must do something I don’t know whether I shall ever be any good at it it seems so hopeless and of course one must study the popular taste but now my brother Henry has gone to London I get a lot of leure he’s luckier than I he has a chance is he a good solic oh excellent he’s frightfully clever he’s involved with so many people and ideas no doubt he has a wonderfully busy life in London well you got your wood carving classes and things they ought to satisfy me but they don’t don’t I suppose I’m ambitious but I’ve never had much of a springboard I should think you could do anything you wanted as a matter of fact I can’t do anything I want to but you’ve done a great deal what have I done Mr Kips well Chester Tom you passed one of these University things um oh I matriculated well I should think I was no end of a swell if I did that I know that for sure Mr Kips do you have any idea how many people matriculate into London University every year I don’t know between two and 3,000 W you think how many they don’t oh they don’t count oh the fact is I’m a discontented person folston is simply a seafront and it values people by sheer vgar Prosperity now mother and I are not prosperous and we live in a Backstreet I can tell you it’s a mercy we haven’t had to let rooms one simply feels one hasn’t had had opportunities oh I understand that all right that’s just it no I believe you could do anything you wanted to if you tried I watched you when you were teaching in that wood carving CLA and you got something oh it’s very evident that you are one of those rare people who believe in me Mr kids oh I do I do as Mrs Walsingham appeared in the doorway bonneted and ladylike Kips felt a certain apprehension at First Sight she appeared rather jaded and hay but then she held out her hand he took it and she responded to his touch with a friendly pressure he felt a little less apprehensive just a little less apprehensive there you are mother look who was come to call on us Mr Kips how very very kind of you you Mr Kips new people really call on us nowadays how do you do uh how’d you do have you had de not yet mother I’ll go and see to it it was nearly ready when Mr Kips called I’m sure you can entertain each other I say don’t trouble my account no trouble I’m thirsty on my own account went to one of Helen’s pupils yes that’s how I had the pleasure of meeting her she takes great pleasure in that wood carving class she is so energetic and it gives her an outlet oh I think she teaches something Splendid everyone thinks she does very well Helen I think would do anything well she undertook to do she is so very clever she throws herself into things do you know she told me all about your poor cut hand when you would open the window for her V are telling you that oh she tells me everything she told me how Brave you were she said you didn’t seem to feel the cut a bit even though it was bleeding terribly oh it was nothing oh here we are then oh lovely Mr Gibs um would you mind pulling out the table for tea I don’t want if I do thank you then milk and sugar Mr Kips yes please oh he looks lovely I must say there we are this time Kips took no bread and butter and managed his teacup creditably then he began talking he talked quite modestly and simply about his changed condition about his inherited Fortune his early apprenticeship as a draper his aunt and uncle in new Romney he confided he submitted and he remained for about 2 hours having forgotten how terribly incorrect it is to stay such a length of time fortunately Miss Walsingham and her mother did not seem to mind at all within 2 months a near 3 and 50 days Kips had clamored to the battlements of his heart’s desire it all became finally possible when the Walsingham decided not to go to Bru for their holidays but to stay in folkton one day there was a water party organized by Chester on the nearby Canal Kips had learned to paddle when he was a boy and it has to be said that Kips did not paddle at all [Music] badly the trip was to culminate in a visit to the local Castle Kips removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves to take charge of the boat he shared with Miss Walsingham muscles hardened by lifting pieces of creton in his former place of work gave him a perfectly respectable figure also in the party were Chester coot Mrs Walsingham and Helen’s brother the young successful solicitor down for the weekend from London here we are everyone Ro to the bank Kips o chip bump how you jump Henry Now Catch hold of this yes of course there we are then what fun help me out of the boat Mr kid certainly take my hand Miss Walsingham there we are thank you so much Mrs Walsingham thank you Mr K oh there’s the castle over there now then young Henry you can take your mother onto the castle we’ll follow the long way around across the field I said that’s a rather fearsome looking Beast oh dear just look at that boot it’s all right mamama I should merely wave my hat at it like so I’ll vult you silly creature Fortune had favored Kips by placing a small convenient field entirely at the disposal of an adolescent bull the field was adjacent to the landing place and was directly between the Boating Party and the castle I sh walk past that never fear I shall protect you all there toror matador pck aor oh dear it is rather large he’s only a little bll I sh walk past it mother first this is waringham they I escort you around by the park to notion Mr K come on mat we’ll leave this stupid animal to get on with its dinner you aren making a fuss about nothing come along then will you be all right h of course I will Mr Kips is going to escort me aren’t you Mr Kips goodbye dear bye see you all at the castle see you bye byebye oh isn’t he sweet hello chip oh perhaps he’s not that sweet oh he’s only a Litt come on I’ll help you over the style come on there we are are you sure of course I’m sure come on if you’ll say so Mr Kips there there’s a good fellow easy do it it was not an affair of the bull ring exactly no desperate rushing and gorings but the bull came resolutely towards them oh Mr Kips he regarded them with a laugh large Wicked bluish eye opened a mouth below his moist glistening nose and booed and shook his head and showed that tossing was in his mind he looks awfully Fierce just stay very calm and we’ll get to the gate that’s a ticket that’s fine come [Music] on now look here you bull you just mind your manners and be off yeah that’s more like it go on Miss wsam open the gate he won’t harm you oh stand God if necessary I’ll have another word with him there now and you you behave yourself next time you see a [Music] lady oh Mr Gibs How brave how very brave you are thank you it was nothing the company had planned to climb the castle keep and Survey the low Blue Hills by winel sea and Hastings to the east hung France between the Sea and the sky and round to the north bounding the wide perspective of farms and houses and woods were the Downs with their chalk pits sustaining the passing Shadows of the sailing Cloud isn’t it absolutely marvelous oh come on let’s get to the top I don’t think I can CL any more of these horrid Little Steps well all this fresh air is making me feel quite faint I must have a cigarette come on coot let’s toble down to the Village right her coming Mama I shall sit on the stone I’ve done quite enough toddling for today oh come on then Mr Kips let’s go right up to the top glorious quite glorious oh isn’t it quite glorious Mr Gibs oh yes always been very fond of scenery mom there is a lot of senery up here isn’t there one feels one owns things standing up here miss W them I’ve been thinking about what about names names what sort of names well C was saying to me a while ago the perhaps my real name isn’t spelled k i PPS but CU PS I’m not too sure about it well it’s an interesting proposition I don’t know I was just thinking Kips had intended to lead from this question to the general question of surnames and changes of names it had seemed a light and witty way of approaching what he had in mind a proposition of a marital nature he decided to try another approach when I see scenery and things like that it things that are beautiful it makes me feel what silly like oh you needn’t you know Mr Kips you hold yourself too cheap you mean you don’t hold me cheap oh no but for instance you don’t think of me as an equal right why ever not oh but really if I thought what you know so much oh that’s all nothing I know what I am if I thought it was possible if I thought that you I believe I could do anything missingham is it possible that you could care for me enough to help me Miss Wasing do you care for me at all I think you are the most generous the most kind most modest of men and this afternoon I thought you were the bravest oh there’s mother she’s signaling we have to go down yes but you must know Miss Walsingham you must tell me what if you care for me it was as if everything in the world was drawn to the breaking point and in a minute must certainly break yes I do know promise me something Arthur promise you what if I do not hold you cheap you will never hold yourself cheap if you do not hold me cheap you mean yes I hold you dear well me yes of course who else I mean will you would you marry me Helen oh but of course you silly what else could I mean yes yes yes Kips felt as a Praying hermit might have felt snatched from the midst of his quiet devotions his modest sackcloth ashes and hurled neck and crop over the glittering Gates of paradise smack among the iridescent Wings the brigh eyed Cherry he felt like some lowly and righteous man dynamiting into Bliss his hand tightened on the rope that stead as one upon the stairs of stone he was for kissing her hand and did not he said not a word more he turned about and with something very like a scared expression on his face led the way into the obscurity of their descent [Music] the tea was spread on a white cloth under the trees Kips handed the wrong things to the wrong people and killed wasps as if he were in a dream Helen was carefully not looking at him but he knew that the goddess had come from her Altar and had taken him by the hand I say it’s old man snap out of it pass the sandwiches oh perhaps in olden times they jousted here on the grass these castles are such Melancholy places but I feel quite cheerful here with my children and our good friends mother do know Mr Kips Henry is very like Helen they very so quick so artistic so full of ideas you know even when Helen was a little girl she wrote first well I don’t bother with versifying in London it’s just more and more clients Henry is taking on more clients to solicit for every day I don’t think that’s quite the right word m but I am looking for clients that is true how about you Mr Kips need a solicitor well I’ve got one whatson and bean old Bean in fact but he’s a bit of an old Cove I’ll say an old has been I must say I wouldn’t mind someone a bit near in my own sort of age done Mr KS I can tell you’re an honest man I would be delighted to take you on you know Mr Kips that are bright days and dark days and mine have not always been bright until today I know just what you mean Mrs Walsingham as the afternoon continued Helen now and then threw a private glance across at Kips when they all went home the sky was a vast Splendor and close to them with the dark protecting trees and The Shining smooth Still Water behind Kips was and opportunity Freedom he was indeed at his heart’s [Music] desire the following day Chester called on Kips come in my dear chap Mar letan I said why are you sitting alone here in the dark I didn’t notice I was thinking and I bet I know what about or rather about whom do you oh yes she’s Splendid isn’t she oh yes congratulations my dear chap I couldn’t help noticing the radiance on her face at the picnic did you oh yes my dear Kips this is better than a legacy I don’t deserve it you can’t say that and you say it All Began before your money oh yes when I was in her class it’s a County family you know she’s connected with the bopr family you know Lord boprey I don’t believe I do distantly related of course still oh it’s all too much C what should I do now you’ll have to call of course you must speak to Mrs wam tell her you mean to marry her daughter oh I dare say Ellen’s told her by now oh she’s guest she ain’t stupid that’s not the point the point is you must tell her ask her permission oh I see then there’s the ring what must I do about there oh yes uh of course you must buy a tasteful engagement ring go to the shop and ask them they’ll show you some rings and then what do I take it to her no send it my much better and this call on M W how one ought to be dressed rather a ceremonial occasion I think what like a front coat I think so light trousers and yes how about a rose I think you might run to a button hole and of course when you see her you’ll have to ask her to name the day oh there’s no hry oh but there’s no reason to delay a year sir a year is rather a long time is it I have to think it over I say C what’s a Tatar ah you mean a t that’s a conversation alone together well he said in his book you borrow me that strictly we w’t enjoy a Tata T not seek together walk together ride together or meet during any part of the day well that doesn’t leave us much time to talk does it the book says that I read it before you came I thought he’s a bit rum well let me see you won’t find missingham as strict as all that they’d only do that in Old aristocratic families the washams are fairly modern advanced you might say I expect you’ll get plenty of chance to talk there’s a tremendous lot to think about I suppose i’ better go over and tell my uncle and Aunt about it all but Kips soon became caught up in other preoccupations and the idea of telling his aunt and uncle receded into the background he had to call on Mrs Walsingham he had listened to his friend coot and for the occasion his trousers were a dark gray he wore a deep skirted frog coat patent leather boots and he carried a silk hat he had generous White cuffs with gold links and his gray gloves one thumb of which had burst when he put them on were held Loosely in his hand his small umbrella was rolled to an Exquisite tightness the world smelt of his rose bud I am delighted Mr KS this is a great thing to a mother a daughter is so much more than a son marriage is a lottery and without love and Toleration well and my son is delighted that he’s handling your Affairs oh that wasn’t anything they’re both so clever I call them my twin Jewels oh that’ll be Helen I’m sure you’ll want to talk to one another alone you young people mustn’t be shy of one another hello mother oh why Arthur hello Helen I’ll leave you have you been speaking to mother oh yes we didn’t sit in silence how you mean about us oh that yes oh Arthur oh I don’t know Helen what is it Arthur everything’s has changed I feel like someone else look I don’t know things I’m not refined the more see me the more you’ll find me out but I’m going to help you you’ll have to help me a fearful lot then I’ll help you a fearful lot other if you don’t mind if you will let me tell you things I wish you would then I will for instance sometimes you’re a little caress with your pronunciation oh I know you mean hates I know about them I know CH nectar he’s told me all about hes and that of course on the stage they got to look out they take regular lessons they requires a little care well I dare say I shall soon get into it and then this dress you don’t mind oh no well you mustn’t be too dressy it’s possible to be over conventional over elaborate it makes you look like a shoers well like a common well of person there a sort of easy that is better a real gentleman looks right without looking as though he’ tried to be right just as though he put on what come first not exactly that but a sort of ease I see and you must accustom yourself to be more at your ease when you’re with people you mean not pled with fringes on this cushion that sort of thing yes I’ll try I’ll really do my best I know you will one has to learn exactly Arthur one has to learn Kips walked home sober and [Music] thoughtful Mr Kips what oh it’s you Mr wels giips you forgot something you forgot to get Helen to name the day oh I’ve got to leave something to talk about next time have I so you have and there’s something else what else when are you going to tell your aunt and uncle about your engagement they’ll have to know it’s only fair oh stop nagging at me I got a lot on my mind you must all right all right I’ll go tomorrow satisfied just leave me alone for a bit the following day Kips dressed with a certain quiet severity and meditated over his Kipper and bacon then after an early cold lunch he proceeded to hire a motor car and a driver he purchased a cap and coat and thus equipped he entered the motor car to drive to New Romney to visit his aunt and uncle here we are my man this toy shop just here right sir I’ll say make the thing out a bit will you that’s it go on that’s it right rabbit who the Dickens is making that that only R outside my shop yeah is that you ay it is hello Uncle thank you driver you take yourself off for an out and then come back and get me thank you sir rabbit ay what is a thing like that cost I ain’t bought it uncle just di it you want to be careful they ain’t no further than experiments them cars you could get took in by them they won’t last you know come on come in the shop hey Molly look who’s turned up why oh what a surprise yeah come and sit down I just boot a cup of tea here Uncle how’ you like that whiskey I sent you well me boy I haven’t the slightest out it’s very good whiskey and cost you a tidy price but Dash it suits me it catches me just here in the chest heartburn it’s what all the actor manager chaps drink in London I to know that for a fact I dare say those actra chaps might but then they’ve already had their livers burnt out my stomach’s always been a bit delicate but but I tell you I like them cigars you can send me more of them if you like easy done yeah yeah to there you can’t thank you Molly here have you two ever thought of moving moving moving from here I could provide for you you know and then you could retire from business I could buy you a little cottage somewhere with flowers all around the door oh oh yeah well we don’t want to move in and AR as of when we move we want to be sure about it we’ve been here for so long we could be here for a bit longer you let me look about a bit first yeah but if we have a large house we we should want a servant and I don’t want no girls in the place laughing and snickering and going all large well you need to have a large house yeah but if we have a smaller house we won’t be able to swing a cat oh you ain’t got no cat and then there’s the stock I don’t want to sell it all off for nothing took years to acculate I mean it might might take years and years to sell there some people come in and look around and go away without buying anything right all what do you think about it oh anyway tell us what you’ve been doing with yourself these days we must come over and visit you one of these days hey Molly of course well I got something well you see the way I look at it ay is when you know a place you know a place and I know this place you know what I mean what’s that well that’s Church belt s ringing out someone’s wedding being Saturday you haven’t forgotten the church bills no no of course not look I’m off for a bit of a stroll just to look at the old places [Music] does this remind you of being young oh yes Mr wels play by a church chck to to whom Gibbs oh nothing nobody you’re not thinking of young Anne pornic by any no I ain’t she belongs in the past here’s someone else from the past oh s aie art K well I never I see poric I ain’t seen you since I was 14 oh I you me old mate I was just this very moment wonder if I ever see you again turn up oh CH all right actually I’ll be you changed match I I KN you directly I saw you even all that funny and coat yeah you got my St I have you having your holiday well partly but actually I’m taking a bit of holid the fact is I have to give myself holes these days I’ve set up by myself you know what down here oh no here I’m not a turnip I’ve started up in ammosmith manufacturing Dy no engineer or manufacture bicycles bicycles well I’m learning to ride a bicycle oh well I’ve got just a thing for you here I have a hand built oh that’s my mate there it’s called the Red Flag I got a transfer with me name on it best machine at Democratic price in London no gu no discounts on his trade I’ll build them to order really I made seven in so far come down here to visit mother now again you married KS well no not yet I am married these two years got a Nipper proper little chappy is course actually I got engaged day before yesterday W who’s the fortunate lady solicitor’s daughter in folon rather a nice set related to the Earl of Bo prey see I’ve had a bit of luxid been less money have you how much £1,200 a year 12 well never my grandfather it was I knew I had a grandfather 1200 a year approximately that’s a blooming Stoke Al L I’m glad for you better you than me though I don’t envy you I couldn’t keep it if I did have it why not I’m a socialist you see I don’t know with wealth what is wealth labor robbed out of the poor I don’t get it but when you look at it rationally the present distribution of wealth is damn foolishness dear you have a job you Kips and you get paid hardly anything then suddenly you get 1,200 a year yeah it’s not your fault old chap it’s a system still better you than most people eh yeah you’ll be a swell Kips oh sh you can’t have money like that and not swell out you’ll soon be too big to speak to a mere mechanic like I ain’t that Sal sh you know me money will be too much for you besides you’re caught by a swell already the girl you’re going to marry oh you don’t know her she’s not like that at all keep so happens to you being rich yeah do you remember [Music] this the original hero War C and remember that old wreck on the beach that we used to play in oh no you see how’s your sister in oh she’s all right I expect where is she in the place Ashford actually the fact is we ain’t been getting on too well I don’t know with service we’re common people I suppose I just don’t like it I don’t see why a sister of mine should wait at other people’s tables no I raced her once she didn’t run B for a girl I wonder what you’ll do with all that money well what would you do well it’s no good giving it to the state I might start an overnight profit sharing Factory perhaps or a or a socialist paper we need a new socialist paper oh dear I’ll best be getting back I had a motor com for the afternoon he’ll be waiting for me how much it cost you5 5 keep five families for a week well come out have a look at it at any rate oh well I don’t mind if I do just before I catch the train back how fast can it go looks good enough here’s your coat ay and you got there real fur is he of course he gets very nippy sitting with a wind whistling past you you don’t need all this gear on a bicycle but You’ got to work on a bicycle keeps your mind occupied that does oh the motor’s not bad I would mind having a look at this motor in my workshop on my word Arie I have a good mind to come with you would you want to come for a ride then no no it’s too late ay some other time all right then well I’ll be off goodbye thene see you say now then said poric If you could get to own something like that little machine then you’d have something to talk about I’ll do a lot better than that before I’m done Mr Kips not you how many bicycles is it you made 17 oh that’s very good don’t make near as much noise as one of the other things you got a long way to go s pornic oh well I’ll best be off to see me mother say goodbye give him me best head right oh goodbye I told you didn’t I them pornic would never amount to much show a bit of Charity eh only if you got some tea left come on yeah get your by as he was being driven back to Folkston Kips remembered a sudden glimpse of Anne pornic as she had been when he told her how lovers gave each other tokens and the memory was so strong so bright that it seemed to breathe before him and I’ve got this idea I read in the magazine tip baates actually that lavs give each other tokens what a token well you take something and divide it in two like you might take a six and break it into two why should you do that it’s no good if it’s broke you divide it in two and then you keep one bit each but that’s what a token is why on Earth didn’t you tell your uncle and a tell him what Mr about your engagement of course oh I don’t know I just somehow didn’t have you had your first inking of certain incompatibilities lying about the cause of true love you are well let’s put it this way being engaged to Helen is sane and excellent in folkton but might be regarded with suspicion in new Romney I don’t know getting cold feet oh no I’m really proud that someone like Helen likes me cuz she does she kissed me three times on the forehead the other day I didn’t kiss her mind but then I didn’t kiss s PA it neither Helen took Kips in hand in perfectly good faith she told him about his accent his costume his bearing his way of looking at things she found his simple willingness to listen a lovable thing there was it must be confessed a touch of motherliness in her feelings towards him Kip’s education continued without pause at home out walking and in cafes and restaurants no really Arthur I don’t think you should sing to the banjo but I like it anyway bugging set up who is buggins Chap I used to work with in the shop what ho Kips oh hello chillo thought it was you old chap where the devil have you been hiding yourself uh chlo this is Ellen and missingham how do you do Mr chlo my dear At Your Service here keeps your ear for just a moment about that play what play my play what I wrote you recall well it’s all right there’s a strong smell of Syndicate in the air oh good good you needn’t tell anybody but I think it’s coming off mustach right you are goodbye my dear Goodbye Mr Arthur who was that that was chlo sort of a friend of mine run into me once on his bicyle and we got talking he’s an nature chip these ways he writes plays what was all that about a Syndicate search me he sells shares in his plays Pap sexi have you seen any of his plays well no he hasn’t actually head on the stage yet that’s all coming I bought a qut Shar his play for 10000 it’s a go mine he say Arthur you must promise me something promise you won’t do anything without consulting me like buying shares in place and that sort of thing well in a sort of way he did help me to my money he pointed out the advertisement in the newspaper telling me there was something toor one can’t know everybody you know which reminds me I think we should do a little work on the elusive aspirate the what your hes oh I’ve got a lot of difficulty with them you know like with eie I should say hair’s here shouldn’t I but what’s the difference well hair is a verb and as has is a conjunctive I know that but when he’s has a conjunction and when he’s is a verb well it’s hasir when one means one has meaning having but if it isn’t to do with having then it has as for example one says he has I mean he has but then one says as he has oh I see so I ought to say is he no if you’re asking a question you say has he I mean has he oh Lord right now I’ll get it clear as he has he as yes that’s it well it does help if you remember about having I will I [Music] will miss coot sister of his good friend Chester specialized in Kips artistic education Mr Kips do look through this book of the hundred best paintings in the world I say that one’s rather nice that little thing there that color picture that’s a print a color print oh [Music] he was impressed by Mrs Walsingham Gibs was not a big man but with Mrs Walsingham he always felt as though he had been rolled in clay that his voice was strident she did not so much teach him as tactfully guide and infect him do you know Mr Kips I was in the Omnibus the other day and a man passed my change to the conductor he was quite a common little man but I will say something for him he lifted his hat [Music] Helen’s brother’s share in the educational Syndicate was just as important you order Hawk for lunch and sparkly Melle for dinner and make sure you get these cigarettes with gold tips don’t pay more than a penny a minute for a handsome cab don’t talk like a fool on the train sit quiet and thoughtful oh it will be jolly when you come up to London ay when we move to London we shall spell your name see you yps we shall be Mr and Mrs keeps oh oh you’ll soon get used to [Music] [Applause] it so in their several ways they all contributed to enlarge and refine and exercise the intelligence of Kips and presiding over all these influences was Kip’s nearest friend Chester cot a sort of Master of Ceremonies one day walking in the park he launched into fome praise you’re improving daily Kips my dear fellow s you cute you’re pretty well completely a gentleman now you know we took you up just in time you’ll soon get S I hope so next year perhaps if there’s a good extension literature course you should go in for that savwa fair is more than half the secret of s you see there are the big people and the modest refined gentlemanly people like me who may dabble in the professionals there are Lords and there are gentle folk who have to manage but they can all call on one another they constitute Society of course t here in poer one doesn’t see much of it but there is still local society and that has the same rules my li kids I so it is hello there kid who on Earth are there bugging and Co from the clothing P where I used to work before coming to me money that man is smoking a Brier pipe I’ll leave them to you evening CH hello car short Bu you’re a proper gentleman in them clothes enjoying it are you it’s all right how about you oh holidays next week if you don’t look out I’ll be on the Cotton On before you eh you going have to belog FR come along Kip chap I say Kips have you seen anything of her leip lately she was along as Sir William in the shop and she asked me remembered to you William suffers a lot from his gout don’t you know come along Kips we ought to be moving on oh sorry sir didn’t see you there got an appointment in a manner of speaking oh we should come along with you some company car we’re late kits oh well we won’t keep you will we baggies oh I’m so sorry did I flick some ash on your sleeve how clumsy of me I don’t think we’re at all in need of your Society thank you very much come along Kips I think that was the most awful cheap I expect it was charitable as one is one must admit that there are people who do things impossible things these people must be cut the cut in society is no joke it’s excommunication it it is so tragic that entire novels have been written about it you will have to cultivate a certain distance it’s difficult I admit but you will have to lose certain old friends the true gentleman you see Kips is patriotic he lifts his hat to the national anthem he does not talk of passion Finance politics birth and death I see profundities get me one does not talk but on the other hand one is punctilious to do remember this kids I will I will the whole event in the park was an interesting little object lesson and it stuck in the front of Kip’s mind for a long time he was so preoccupied that when later that day he went to hear Helen playing bed home sonatas he forgot to say how perfectly lovely the music was he felt as though he had struck carot and buggins in the face in circumstances that gave them no power to reply he felt Disturbed uneasy he loved Helen he had entered Society but he could not quite forget Anne pornic Sid pornic carshot and buggins all his oldest friends perhaps one day he would [Music] Paul danman played HG Wells Mark ster Kips Katherine hbert Helen and John Hollis uncle in the third episode of Kips by HG Wells which has been dramatized in five episodes by Micheline wer Kip’s Aunt Jane winham Miss coot Helena bre Chester coot Christopher good Mrs Walsingham Penelope Lee Henry Spencer Banks Sid Michael Jenner and MOA Leslie carot Christopher Biggins buggins John Webb and Cho Nicholas Grace the music was composed by Alona seat Kips was directed by Martin Jenkins a [Music] [Music] Kips by HG Wells dramatized by Michelin wander music by Alona seatch with Mark ster as Kips Nigel anony as masterman Michael Jenner as Sid and Paul danman as HG Wells the Storyteller episode 4 Kips finds the course of true love a little muddy since Arthur Kips came into a fortune he has become more refined day by day more carefully dressed less clumsy in the uses of social life we have seen the gulf widening between himself and his former Associates in the drapery Emporium in folston we have seen him become engaged to miss Helen Walsingham a refined lady teacher of wood carving we have also seen a certain reluctance in him to tell his uncle and Aunt about the said engagement however he is now about to set out on his bicycle as a newly accomplished cyclist to go to new Romney in Kent and break the Glad Tidings to his only living relatives I must say that as someone who likes things neat and tidy I cannot help but be relieved that Kips is about to set his life in order My Name by the way is HG Wells and I am as Kips would say a Norther and Kips is by way of being something of a prote of mine [Music] as he neared the scenes of his childhood he turned suddenly he didn’t know why into the lane beside the old church where once years ago he had sworn to love Anne pornic his mind swimming with memories he saw in front the figure of a woman walking along the lane there was something bright and familiar about her oh so excuse me aren’t you please in he’s pornic ay Kips riding a bicycle you taken your holidays well sort of I got my holid dayss I’m in service here in New Romney now it’s near mother you going for a walk yeah look I picked these flowers don’t they smell nice oh yes can I walk with you if you like it’s a long time since I se didn’t you seven or eight years maybe it don’t do to count here you got mustache yes I’ve had it for years now almost part of me you might say coming back here reminds me of being a kid again not off yeah remember when I left to get Apprentice to a draper in at six I got six in half and we took half each you still remember that oh yes I still got mine Fanny isn’t it you still got yours rather I haven’t looked at it for a bit I didn’t think you keep yours I thought often it was silly to keep mine it didn’t mean anything all that stuff about Lover’s token childish childish didn’t mean anything really you still in the drapery business actually I’m living in folon in an house now hasn’t Sid told you no I haven’t seen him for a while oh I ran into him down here a week or so ago he’s gone got his own shop he told me and he’s married with little boy sorry said it was fine and Grand to have 1200 year thought giips it was fine to go about on trains and omnibuses it was fine to order this and that and not to have to do any work and it was fine to be engaged to a girl distantly related to the Earl of BOE as Helen Walsingham was but yet there had been a zest in the old time out here a rare zest in the holidays in sunlight on the beach and in the High Street that was somehow absent from all these new riches well I’ll best take these flowers into me Mom that’s her Cottage just there back at the church yes right You’ gone in then I suppose so you come off and to you Romney i r over to see me uncle and Aunt now and again well I’m glad to seen you all of the first emotions of his adolescence came back to him it was an more than ever she stood breathing close to him with her soft looking lips a little apart and gladness in her eye he would have liked to have had a long talk with her to have gone for a walk with her or something to draw near to her in some conceivable way but something told him that it would never do aen yes I’m awful glad I seeing you brings back Old Times doesn’t it well goodbye then goodbye AE so preoccupied by this encounter indeed Kips might have said he was all in a world so taken up was he with this extraordinary impulse which roared in neglected parts of his being that Kips completely forgot the purpose of his visit to tell his aunt and uncle about his engagement to Helen and set off back to folon [Music] Anne was as pretty as he remembered her her blue eyes still dark her cheeks with a quick High color she looked soft and warm and welcoming where have you put that half Sixpence giip oh hello Mr Wells I’ll put in a little packet of paper with some red seing wet it’ll be in my esire don’t you think you should have told an about your engagement oh I suppose so one day I’ll have to go back to New Romy and tell her that’s all as he rode Kips Came Upon the idea that there was a considerable amount of incompatibility between the existence of one who was practically a gentleman and the existence of one who is a servant such as Anne then he thought of Anne the bright the desirable the welcoming and the first idea vanished [Music] that evening Kip spent a convivial couple of hours in his study in the company of two men of the world Helen wals singham’s brother Henry and Chito the playwright both of whom chanced to call on him at the same time but Mr Walsingham sir I assure you with there thousands of pounds to be made from the theater if you back the right horse aips as an actor and a playwright I assure you but I assure you Mr Cho that if you understand Financial politics there’s hundreds of pounds to be made on the stock market heips sir but there’s no art no art no passion speculation corrupts Society R speculation is the life blood of a society it is as necessary as the company of beautiful women ah well now talking of women is quite another thing perhaps you have never known the inner realities of women Mr Walsingham being a businessman and not an arti East but let me tell you I have run away with girls I have been run away with by girls I have loved and lost I have loved and refrained oh now that chap Kipling he put it proper you know that poem Kips Kipling is he something to do with me name like Kipling it’s a bit like Kips you must have me I don’t know old chap could be could be that you have not only money in your family but art and poetry too oh let me quote the poem to you shall I oh do do my dear fellow I’ve taken my fun where I found it I’ve rogued and I’ve ranged in my time I’ve had my picking of sweethearts and four of the lot was prime prime sounds a bit like beef that my dear Kips is poetry I’d like to have written that I really would indeed without at all boasting I do think that some of my more poetic dialogue approaches the delicacy of K but why should someone write a poem about beef mind you and you needn’t let this go any further I’ve been perfectly faithful to Muriel since I married her I have learned all about women from her oh obviously a man must know about women and the only sound way of learning is the experimental method method talking of the experimental method have I ever told you about the time I was on a steamboat going up the [Music] Hudson Kips went to bed his brain whirling with words and whiskey musing on The Temptations being put in his way real healthy strong sold men should be I suppose impervious to such conversations but I have never claimed a place for Kips at such a high level I am forced to admit that nothing can save him from condemnation for within two days he was back in new Romney talking to Anne again it’s just like old times isn’t it it is really should we sit down all right I’ll say an I got that half Sixpence still have you yes I found it you know I thought about you a lot over these years I thought of you a lot a I met people here and there boys men but I never met anyone like you it’s Jolly I’ll meeting again hey look at that ship out there I bet I’ll go throw a stone to reach you there oh not nearly that ship is Miles Away Arty I’ll do another two oh hey I dropped a stone on your hand did I hurt you no no not at all it’s only a little Stone let me see oh dear oh dear it’s nothing honest you’ve got a nice hand here we go it’s funny us meeting again yes it is he realized that he had never kissed an in his life he looked up and there were her lips an yes I’d like to kiss you and I’d like to kiss you ay and they kissed one another kisses Frank and tender as a child oh dear Kips Making Love on a beach to one girl and you’re engaged to another oh dear dear they’re not girls Mr Wells they’re an and Helen I love Helen I rever Helen but Mr Wells there’s something about an that’s possible oh I don’t know anyhow you shouldn’t go where it’s private leave us alone now very well it was curious that in retrospect Kips did not find nearly the satisfaction in this infidelity which he imagined was there there was something in Anne’s quietly friendly eyes in her Frank smile in the pressure of her hand there was something undefended and welcoming that imparted a flavor to the business upon which he had not counted I thought of you a lot ay Kip’s existence became an affair of dissolving and recurring moods but when he thought of the day when Helen said she cared for him profound vague beautiful emotions flooded his being I hold you very dear Arthur but when he thought of paying calls with her he found himself rebelliously composing Fierce and pungent insults couched in the vernacular an whom he had seen so much less of was a simpler memory and yet he had this much clear in his mind that to have gone to see Anna a second time to have implied that she had been in possession of his thoughts through all this interval and above all to have kissed her was shabby and wrong consequently some days later he got up late and cut his chin while shaving oh Dash bother and dash it he kicked a slipper into his spongeb oh R and rabbit and he scolded his tongue with hot coffee I should never drink coffee again and then he had to call on Helen to discuss some impending social Arrangements I say Arthur we have been invited to call on Mrs bind and B on Thursday she’s having an anagram party oh what it’s a party I don’t think I want to go Arthur you must Avail yourself of the social occasions which are on offer I don’t like calling Helen well you must overcome these silly objections why can’t I just stay at home out of the question anyway what’s when he at home is an anagram party an anagram is a word spelled the same way as another only with the letters differently arranged not enough trouble with Ord spelling without another kind for example um s p i k p s p i k p what’s that mean those are the letters of your name that arranged differently oh I see is that all it’s not not being able to spell but not minding that you can’t spell well sort of and then the D I know what a t is everyone at the D has an anagram pinned onto their clothes and you have to go around and guess what they are oh it’s lovely fun shakes everybody up together no time for shyness I shall write to Mrs bind and botting and tell her that we accept with the greatest of pleasure tell me again what an anagram is an anagram is a word spelled the same way as another only with the letters differently arranged differently arranged as well as worrying about anagrams and the impending tea Kips was also concerned the next morning by the contents of two letters the first was from Chito my dear old MTI Kips I have some marvelous news for you I have decided to let you be the chief participator in The Syndicate which is to put my play on your contribution will be £2,000 and you will make a fortune £2,000 his old friend Chito who was both actor and playwright was effusively communicative about the play which truth to tell gips had forgotten it’s the pested butterfly I’m talking of you know that play which I told you about and I’ve had this simply marvelous idea you remember the scene of a man with a live beetle down his neck the scene I cut I decided to put it back fill the thing out give it body WID and depth brilliant a and it’s thanks to your £2,000 that it’s all possible your friend Harry chlo Kips remembered an earlier conversation with Helen promise me you won’t do anything without consulting me Arthur oh the second letter was from his aunt my dear nephew we are considerably took back by the news we heard from gossip about your engagement but we supposed to hope for the best if the young lady is a relation to the ear of boey well and good but take care you’re not imposed upon your uncle waited on the old Earl once in service and he was remarkably close with his tips and suffered with corns but tomorrow is half closing day so we shall shut up shop and come and visit you and say how you do to the young lady and give her a bit of a kiss if we think a suable your affectionate Aunt Molly and your Uncle Edward George KS coming over here today oh Lord I want to go to new Romney and kissan again what am I going to do Mr Wells it’s too late to Telegraph and stop him how about a little holiday London perhaps yes that’s it London brilliant thank you right I better look sharp I haven’t much time Landon [Music] Kips had been to London once or twice before with young Henry Walsingham they had lunched together and young Walsingham had taken Kips into no l than nine handsome cabs so that he was no longer afraid of these vehicles he knew that wherever you were as soon as you were lost you just called cab who L Grand Hotel please R sir the Walsingham had taken him to theaters to picture galleries and to a restaurant where Henry Walsingham had quite brilliantly ordered a lunch item by item to the waiter’s evident respect and sympathy you stopping in London long just for a little holiday look around look shop I wanton be lunch haven’t had anything since breakfast they in a Jeffy sir get up Kips booked into an apartment at 14 Shillings a night and then went down to the dining room but the sight of a number of waiters and tables with remarkable complications of knives and glasses seized him with Terror and he backed out Gibbs where are you going to a restaurant I’ve been in a restaurant once with young waling hey slow up a bit I can’t walk as fast as you sorry but I’ll find a place to shoot me I don’t want to go in a place and look a fool some of these places Rook you Dreadful as well as making fun of you yeah look a window full of chops tomatoes and leges yeah that looks good no this is a sort of place where you buy things raw and cook it at home you should know that Mr whs well here champagne bottles in the window a dish of asparagus menu for a two [ __ ] lunch yeah that’s that wait on Mo what are them waiters doing they’re staring at me no fear I’m off I can smell hot food look here Fleet Street how about this tavern oh not off I could do it a pie now which door do I go in this one no this one oh DED I could find myself in the wrong part of the place entirely you could pretend to be foreign and not know English that’s stupid here look at them sausage on that Grill in that window lovely just like a you makes I’ll go in there here I can’t I’m far too dressed up to go in there and eat sausages and mesh I can’t do anything right I’ll never you again oh darn it and at that moment of real despair the only person Kips knew in London appeared as the only person one does know in London will do and slapped him on the shoulder why Ary Kips fancy seeing you here Sid pornic brother of Anne Boyhood friend turned bicycle manufacturer he looked grave and important and he wore a silk hat which gave a commercial touch to his otherwise socialistic costume well well well she por what a turn up hey what are you doing in Landon U just up for a bit of a change this is a stroke Al like I’ve com up here to buy a second day enamel stove I’m going to enamel all me bicycles myself yeah you must come and see me little shop well fact is I was just looking around to get a bit of lunch we call it dinner at this time of day you won’t get anything decent to eat he abouts tell you what if you ain’t too ay to do a bit of slamming you could come and join us and welcome could I really what there a m on a go for me it won’t take long besides there someone I want you to meet K we on the Underground Railway but you’ve never been on that noisy ain’t it quick though now who’s this you want me to meet well there’s me wife of course and the Nipper and then there’s this chap masterman he occupies our first floor front room we let it see not so much for gain as for company what is he this masterman properly he’s a journalist but LLY he’s been too ill to do very much he writes poetry and all sorts he knows all sorts of things he’s been a dentist and a qualified chemist what he can give your pills and things not not that sort of chemist the serious kind he taught himself French and German oh we met him our sociological get togethers he’ll do big things someday if he gets better perhaps he won’t want to talk to me oh of course he will he’ll talk to anyone once he gets going you won’t be able to get a word in Ed race you know the kind of man I mean oh yes of course I do [Music] Sid’s shop was stocked with the most remarkable collection of bicycles and pieces of bicycles that Kips had ever beheld my hiring stock and here’s the machine at the most democratic price in London the red flag built by me oh it was very nice and it lovely and I got a store of accessories over here I’ll be gunning for Motors a bit did you say mutton Motors I say the mutton department is here just behind this curtain Fanny yes my love fanny come in here and see who I run into my old friend k Why Mr KS I’ve heard all about you Sid was only talking about you the other day how’d you do Mrs Sid oh you can call me Fanny how’s the dinner going then art here is famished ready in two ticks you have some beer while I get it all right and glass of beer Kips oh don’t mind if I do and look who’s just woken up from his NE little Offspring come here then ah this here is Walt Whitman pornic named you know after an important writer fell really well this is gips go on say it gips ever a clever a year and a half he’s a regular one for words you can’t say a word but he’s onto it onto it come come and sit down dinner dinner is that enough potatoes for you another one we don’t stand on ceremony here T funny that’s lovely oh good what you think about it lone then nice very nice fan year is somewhat my senior in years ain’t you my dear not only by a year or should have thought there’s any difference you seem such a match mat oh he’s stuck to you haven’t you w more bread Ary I like this room it’s a good room oh it’s only our kitchen I like it though i’ have some more and when we’ve done we’ll go upstairs and have our coffee with Master M any sense of superior Fortune had long vanished from Kip’s mind and he found himself looking at his host and hostess with enormous respect really Sid was a wonderful chap carving his own mutton and Mrs Sid so kind and bright and Hearty and a child it needed the sense of his fortune at the back of his mind to keep Kips from feeling abject he resolved he’d buy Young Walt something tremendous in toys at the very first opportunity you know masterman used to speak at meetings what sort of meetings oh this meeting and that meeting not that I heard in mind but since he’s been living here it’s like having her own special meeting all to ourselves well you’ll see after what seemed to Kips like the Feast of Feasts never had he thought mutton stew could taste so good Kips and Sid mounted the stairs behind the shop to take coffee with Mr masterman Mr masterman was a man of 40 or more with curious Hollows at the side of his forehead his eyes were very bright and there was a spot of red in his cheeks his teeth were darkened ruins he held out a thin wristed hand and fixed Kips with a burning gaze so you’re the chap with 1200 a year that’s right and how does it feel to have 12200 a year Ram just Ram well it’s not a feeling I’m familiar with it takes a bit of getting into I could tell you that and has it made you perfectly happy I wouldn’t exactly say that it made me happy at first but then you got used to it yes that’s it after about a week I got used to you know s that’s what discourages me from a massing wealth it doesn’t last the Euphoria I mean I’ve always suspected that and it’s interesting to get it confirmed I do see what you mean Mr masterman you got to marry Mr Kips uh I am actually lady oh yes her name’s Ellen of a rather Superior social position rather relative to the Early B pre I doubt if any pain or loss of money does as things are at present make more than the slightest difference in one’s happiness it ought to for if money was what it ought to be the token given for service one ought to get an increasing power and happiness for every pound one got you had the gift of but the plain fact is Mr Kips that the times are out of joint and money money like everything else is a deception and a disappointment it’s nice to have Mr Kips when you first got your money you thought that you might buy just anything you fancied a bit that way yes and then you found that you couldn’t well actually I did get done over a banoa b yes there you are that’s all very well masterman but money is power you can do all sorts of things with money I’m talking of happiness you get all sorts of things with a gun and the H with Broadway but nothing well pratically nothing will make you or anyone else happy shooting a gun certainly would’t make me happy you see the world must be in order for money or property has real value and this world I tell you is hopelessly out of joint man is a social animal with a mind that goes around the globe and a community cannot be happy in one part and unhappy in another I ain’t been out of England yet I plan to go across to belog soon though yeah well let me put it another way people think there is a class or an order somewhere just above them or somewhere just below them or a country or a place somewhere that is really safe and happy the fact is society is one body and is either well or ill I did hear that you wasn’t too Society is frous feverish guilty that’s my position and I’m So Satisfied of it that I sit here and wait for my end quite calmly sure that I can’t better things by bothering I’m not even greedy anymore my egoisms at the bottom of a pond with a philosophical brick around its neck Bravo masterman Mr Kips you’ve had the opportunity of sampling two grains of society now do you find the new people happier than the old no I don’t think so no no no there you are then no one it’s quite sure where they stand all the old tradition is gone and there’s no one to make a new tradition where are your Nobles now this is the sociological coming out I’ve made some tea cakes more light you tell Little W give him his cake there we are if the world is s what are we to do we got to make it better she’s an optimist frankly I think that this civilization of ours is on the top there’s socialism there’s no imagination to make the use of it then we’ve got to make an imagination but a teacake artist I’ve never rightly got to the end of this socialism what’s it going to do well now today today the world is ruled by rich men now they may do almost like with the world and what are they doing laying it waste they own Machinery God gives them a power up a motor car and all they can do with it is to go careering around the roads and a goggled mess killing children I ain’t never killed no children honest I am of course speaking in the abstract oh I don’t mind the rich people Grudge us our schools they Grudge the massive men a gleam of light and air they cheat us and then they SE to forget not there no rules there’s no guidance only accidents and happy flukes I don’t quite get it the trouble is that the rich people have no heart or imagination they have knowledge and Powers on all previous dreaming and what are they doing with the poverty is increasing you can see it all around you it isn’t it isn’t as though they had anything to show for the waste they Mak IPS Cofe look at me what have I had I found myself at 13 being forced into a factory like a rabbit into a chlorop form box 13 when the children are still babies but even a child of that age could see what it meant that hell of the factory monotony and toil and contempt and dishonor and then death so I thought got out at last somehow some of us get out by luck some by cunning and crawled into the grass exhausted and crippled to die that’s a poor man success Kips and most of us don’t get out at all how did you get out then I worked all day and studied half night and here I am with the common consequences oh beaten but surely you know they’ve stopped all the University scholarships at 19 for fear of men like me by the time I’d learned something the doors were closed I thought knowledge would unlock the doors I fought for knowledge it’s other man of fought for bread I’ve starved for knowledge and now I’m no use to myself or the world but it’s never too late it is for me my look now master W wants to give you a bit of cake there I don’t know about you said pornic whenever you talk about socialism you get Mr masterman all upset now drink up your coffee and let’s change the subject bicycles for example Mike [Music] byby poor old masterman beit off his head poor chap what are you going to do now Kips in the face of such prophecies do well I’m in a cab going back to the old Grand Hotel and what about Sid’s sister an I hear she’s got a position in folon what I mean what if you meet her oh I wish I’d never kissed Dan I mean what if you meet her when you’re out with Helen I don’t want to think about that I’ll have to write to Helen just to tell her I’ve come up to London for a day or so that would be the correct thing to do she’ll want explanations look look at that gentleman and lady walking past they’re swells aren’t they well it’s easy for them they will brought up to dress well and do the right thing from dog I expect that when you and Helen are married and living in your West End flat you’ll parade around much like that couple there I suppose so what do for an El to understand it’ll be calls dinners teas anagram teas I suppose I’ll have to write to H and explain why I wasn’t at that anagram tea dinner are pretty terrible things but they ain’t aren’t aren’t nothing when it comes to te’s oh L look suppose ain’t com to Fon and I do run into her when I’m with Helen that’s just as well you’re coming to live in London isn’t it yes you’ll be quite close to Cho in London too oh confound an Ang Cho persuading to spend money taking a share in his play he won’t leave me and my money alone you should have consulted Helen before you invested yes well still there is Sid s Sid’s in London as well so he is and Sid is an’s brother yes he is and and I’ll blow just blow it all and it is vulgarly imagined that to have money is to have no troubles at all [Music] on his return to the Royal Grand Hotel Kips found that he had forgotten the number of his room and he drifted about the hall thinking that all the porters and officials in Gold Lace caps must be watching him finally he found a kindly looking personage in Bottle green who helped him look up his name in the register and find his room Kips tipped him half a crown oh thank goodness for that oh ohly feet now then I suppose I’ll have to change for dinner Mr Wells what shall I wear your dress suit I think um what about shoes oh I can’t wear me boots I know I’ll wear them purple cloth slippers with the golden marry Golds on them I’ll take me at down with me just in case when gips went downstairs there were a number of people already seated in the dining room at little tables lit with red electric shaded Candles there were gentlemen in evening dress and ladies with dazzling and astonishing necks Kips had never seen evening dress in full Vigor before there was a band playing soft music in a decorated recess as Kips entered the dining room he was quite sure that the entire band turned and looked collectively at the purple slippers may I help you sir oh I’ll come down to eat certainly sir come this way Kips followed the waiter to a table in a corner looking resolutely ahead of him so as to avoid the eyes of his fellow guests would sir like to see the menu uh yes thank you there’s a lot on it I know I’ll have some clear soup please certainly sir and to follow who’s following me oh I see look here you just serve me what’s good I’ll leave it to you very well sir the wine card yes I no I’ll have some whiskey if you please all my foods will have freestyles would sir not prefer a Claret number 23 on the card oh yes now you mention it that’s the ticket I’ll either some of that clar a bottle yes sir just look at that Mr Wells proper scorches just a bit of black velvet over the shoulders I’ve never seen anything like k your soup sir oh and your clarot T oh oh don’t think much of this soup Mr Wells doesn’t taste of nothing what them ladies looking at me don’t look around so conspicuously I don’t Fancy no more of this waiter you can take this away and bring me next course certainly sir the volon uh T oh she’s more like it yeah you you know which knife and fork to use for it of course I do these ones here uh the lady in pink is using a different Implement oh the lady in pink is just using her fork oh right Gibs you just put your knife straight on the tablecloth what’s wrong with there it’s covered in cream sauce no never never mind take your fork right oh I’ve dropped it a clean fork for you sir no it’s all right I’ll pick it up oh fine I’ll take it sir thank you so much I hate that lady in pink you’re doing fine oh that looks delicious makes my mouth water no no no GS it’s far too large for one mouthful dear all over your nice clean shirt front dash it hey Kips waiter you can come and clear the slot away yes sir and pull me another glass of clarot certain is it’s better would sir like the main course now what is he mutton with peas peas no fear I know all about peas so would not care for no peace no fear would sir like dessert then yes I there some of that right away Sir Mr Wells all this business and all these people staring at me has suddenly made me into a socialist how can you eat dinner in peace with all these people staring I have a good mind to ask that man what he’s looking at your dessert sir what’s this great green thing water ice so oh now you’re talking I’m partial to ice cream that’s good oh bounce roll spludge oh Kips I’ll chop the rest of this rotten thing at all them people in a minute I think a dignified withdrawal might be more in order right I’m off and with that he thrust back his chair disengaged a purple slipper from his napkin which had dropped on the floor and Rose he kicked the napkin under the table stepped carefully over the prostrate melting green ice put his hands deep in his trouser pockets and marched out as he left the dining room anyone who was interested would have observed that for the duration of the meal Kips had been sitting on his hat the next morning as he came downstairs and looked out into the street the porter touched his hat Kip supposed he wanted a tip and gave him a shilling when he bought a newspaper he tipped the boy when he went up in the lift he tipped the lift man a six P when he met the chambermaid in the passage he gave her half a crown he resolved to demonstrate his position to the entire establishment in this way he believed that he was making a flanking movement upon the hotel by buying over its staff then he decided he would like afternoon tea the room was large and quiet and for a short while he felt he was in command then other people began to come and sit close to him a fluffy haired lady and a clergyman no no dear vica Lady Jane would not like that at all but my dear Madam I’m so familiar with her Affliction Kip sat back restfully and then it occurred to him that his extremely Dusty boots were too prominently in the light so instead he sat up and then people of the upper and upper middle classes began to come and group themselves about him and have tea likewise and so revive the class animosities of the previous day suddenly the room was filled a great desire to assert himself surged up into Kip’s heart he felt he would like to cut in on the hubhub of conversation in some dramatic way a monologue something in the manner of masterman no no he he did not have the words I don’t like this Mr Wells distract yourself look look what’s that over there that large black lacer box I do believe it’s some sort of music IAL box is it yeah I believe it takes six pces yeah I’ve got some six pces in my pocket why don’t you put a six in the machine and see if you can get a refined little Melody out of it right oh Mr Wells here we go well I nevero how about you all of you the stous smart life stop th bang come on you machine show them what you’re worth what a dreadful young man someone stop that machine yes of course a wait wait I have off a crown I wish to pay for me tea yes sir right away sir by the time Kips took his departure from the hotel his momentary Euphoria had faded and with a hot face convulsive gestures and an embittered heart he tipped everyone who did not promptly and actively resist including an absent-minded Diamond Merchant who was waiting in the hall for his wife submission to inexorable fate took him back to Folkston Helen and the dreaded anagram tea the next day dueling aard in a frock coat a Panama Hat with a black band gray gloves and brown button boots he arrived at the dwelling of Mrs bindon botting good afternoon oh Lord p a oh KS hey fancy you being Mrs bind and button’s M an’s eyes met his in amazed inquiry something had got dislocated in the world for both of them he ought to have told her that he was engaged he ought to have explained things to her perhaps even now he might be able to drop her a hint who is it at oh Mr Kips how awfully Jolly of you to come awfully Jolly come along in run along and get some more tan hurry up now yes ma’am it is awfully difficult to get any good men for an anagram tea we have the Vicor and the doctor and now you make three uh yes come along in Helen is here already [Music] Arthur I’m so glad you got back in time take an anagram Mr K I shall pin it to your lapel now you know the rules it’s all frightful fun did you have a lovely time in London uh yes good it’s been frightfully D down here and de bring some more sugar over here for the beer excuse me for a moment Arthur Arthur where you going sh be a minute excuse me some sugar for you sir I ain’t going no tea well you’re lucky I ain’t holding any cuz I’d spill it all over your stupid head now excuse me I got work to do but a I want to talk to you well you better be quick then you w have much to say anyhow oh hang on look in I’m engaged to her in there with r sh fancy now I should have told you before well it doesn’t matter cuz I’ve heard it from all them in there seems I can’t talk of nothing else now please mind out of my way it won’t do your reputation any good to be seen talking to a servant P suddenly everything seemed different Kips perceived ugliness all around him he disliked the whole Gathering collectively and in detail here were all these people with money and Leisure with every chance in the world and all they could do was to crowd like this into a couple of rooms and jabber nonsense about anagrams he made a decision I ain’t stopping here a minute longer I’m off the very next morning a small package arrived addressed to Arthur Kips Esquire Kips was informed that it had been left by a young woman a very ordinary young woman Kips opened the package oh Lord the package contained half a Sixpence an’s half of the Sixpence which in their childhood they had cut in half and divided between them there was no note nothing just the six p that afternoon Helen called to see Kips you haven’t forgotten that we’re to dine with Mrs binden botting tonight but we only seen her yesterday Aur what is wrong with you is your digestion upset I don’t want to go the acceptance of an invitation is in the eyes of everyone a binding obligation which only ill health family bereavement or some other all important reason can justify its being set on one side or otherwise evaded I don’t like Society Ellen but you must see people Arthur yes but it’s the sort of people you see you have to see all sorts of people if you want to see the world Arthur dear I shouldn’t ask you to go to these Affairs if I didn’t think it good for you I suppose not but I’m just a bit grouchy you’ll find the benefit of it when we get to London you have to learn to swim in a tank before you go out into the sea after all the people here are good enough to learn from they’re stiff and rather silly and dreadfully narrow and not an idea in a dozen of them but it really doesn’t matter at all you’ll soon get savvo Fair a’t sure I want it well I’m glad that’s all sorted out and I have a surprise for you what I have a new evening dress my brother bought it for me it’s in the latest fashion off the shoulder very daring I think far too sophisticated for this dull little corner but I’m going to wear it tonight for you and there is a special guest Mr Sydney devil who is something in the literary world I do believe oh buck up Arthur it will be great [Music] fun during Mrs bindon Bing’s dinner the left hand side of Kip’s braces behaved in a mildly Insurgent fashion he had inadvertently fastened it to the buckle on the right hand side of the front of his trousers so that it was placed obliquely rather in the manner of an official decoration athwart his spotless front in addition he did not know how to look at Helen’s arms and shoulders they were of a type by no means despicable but he could not look directly at them however much he tried she was beautiful no doubt about that but perhaps too beautiful perhaps too good Miss Walsingham I’ve been dying to compliment you on your dress since dinner began oh thank you Mr reel uh will you be honoring us with your presence here for long I’m on my way to Paris so I fear for only another day no Mr Sydney Revel author of that brilliant romance red hearts are beating was neither brilliantly handsome nor curly nor long-haired his personal appearance suggested armchairs rather than the equestrian exercises and Amorous toying and passionate intensities of his literary masterpiece he was inclined to be fat with Muddy colored straight hair he might have been esteemed a little undistinguished looking were it not for his bees waxed mustache which came amidst his features with a pleasing note of in congruity it was so very kind of Sydney to come to dinner at all my aunt could spare me for one evening and how could I resist the chance to remake the acquaintanceship of the lovely Helen wal Mr Wells yes GI what’s going on a dinner party no no what don’t mean that ah you’re thinking perhaps that once Helen was a beautiful dream a thing of romance and unsubstantiated mystery just it have you been in London yet Mr R and now the last thin wreath of Glamour is dispelled and now that she is so near to you she’s actually further away from you than ever what you it on something London my dear is absolute chaos we’re leaving our house in the boltons and taking a little place at Wimbledon it’ll be far more convenient in so many ways my husband and I will be in London very soon when we are married that is you must come and stay on your way through next time anytime oh how Charming of you my wife is furiously addicted to goth and exercises of All Sorts I on the other hand like to sit about in clubs I haven’t the necessary strength for these hygienic exercise procedures I do hope you will have better Fortune with servants than we have had Miss mingham no one can imagine the demoralization of the domestics of West London during the last three years it is the same everywhere Mr Revel I assure you yes very possibly it is a friend of mine calls it the servile tradition in Decay well your friend might well be talking about my own experience of my last two cooks and you know only a week after I hired her I am in trouble again with the Serv the recent girl yes I have done everything reasonable but my housemate is given in her notes can you believe it why on Earth has she done that she has been gripped in the throws of some very mysterious grief everything as merry as a marriage Bell until my anagram te yesterday oh that was quite delightful Mrs Bing I cannot wait until you organize another truly Mr reel you must be sure to be here for the next anagram anyway in the evening she was very off hand rather pale I thought a little tearful but really on the verge of being rather disrespectful to me I had asked her for the second time to bring me up my Coco and she answered me very curtly whereupon I gave her a word or so and then immediately floods of tears and she handed in her notice what an a could have caused it for a moment I thought that the anagrams had somehow offended the good domestic’s moral code you never can tell with maid but no she would not say and she must go she must leave Folkston and that is all there is to it yes yes one perceives in these disorders dimly and distantly the last dying glow of the age of romance now let us suppose Mrs botting let us merely and hypothetically speculate that it is love most ofly sorry Mr Revel you have it it must be love what else can it be beneath the orderly humdrum of our lives these romances are going on until at last they burst up and give notice the passions of the common or house domestic more meat anyone Mr Gibs no thanks I ain’t angry you’ve hardly eaten a thing Arthur I told you your digestion was upset no I’m all right actually I got to go I’ve got something to do something I forgot where no please don’t bother to see me out I can open the front door on me own you and everything must go forgotten something at home [Music] kids where are you going no s Mr Wells I got hands h sixense and my half six here but what are you going to do you’ll see you were doing very well in there don’t talk to me about in there but what’s wrong I’ve got something to do well tell me what it is I’ve got a right to know I told you you’ll see Gibs Gibs wait for me here hang on he he’s behaving as though he’s in charge of his own destiny what about me here KBS wait for me I’m coming with you what are you going to do you must tell me KBS what on Earth are you going to do [Music] Paul danman played HG Wells Mark ster Kips and Nigel Anthony masterman in the fourth episode of Kips by HG Wells which has been dramatized in five episodes by Micheline W Kips Aunt Jane Wenham Anne MOA Leslie Sid Michael Jenner Fanny Theresa Stratfield baby waltt Judy Bennett Henry Spencer Banks Helen Katherine hbert the waiter and Sydney Revel John Ry the clergyman Arnold diamond is bindon botting Maggie McCarthy and Cho Nicholas Grace the music was composed by Alona seat giips was directed by Martin Jenkins [Music] [Music] Kips by HG Wells dramatized by Micheline W music by Alona secat with Mark ster as Kips Mo lesli as an Nicholas Grace as ch and Paul dman as HD Wells the [Music] Storyteller episode five the kipes we are now very nearly at the end of the story of Arthur Kips Draper turned gentleman since he became a rich man Kips has stayed in a smart hotel in London become engaged to the Gentile miss Helen Walsingham bought a share in a stage play by a theatrical type name of Chito and vastly improved his satorial Elegance but within the soul of Kips nay in his very heart one might say all is not yet at peace there is the small matter of the Girl Next Door Anne pornic whose fortunes have progressed no further than that of housemaid housemaid in the very house in which Kips has been invited to a dinner party Kips and it really gives me no pleasure at all to admit it Kips has behaved rather badly and rushed out of the dinner party before the dessert clearly he has something on his mind something very important I by the way am an extremely concerned HG worlds as Kips is something of a prodige of mine what do you want an and I want to speak to you I’ve got something to say to you what down here at the servants door what would them upstairs say look let me come in and talk to you basement after 9: them’s me hours it ain’t 9 so you can’t talk to me why don’t you go back upstairs where you belong in just let me in for one minute no more honest then I’ll go if you want me to you’re right but you’ll have to be quick I’m very busy right na look at this what is it it’s an old six what’s been broken off that’s all ain’t the good to anyone like that don’t you see hry up AR Kips I got work to do I kept mine all these years kept it too long look you and me was young we broke a six Spence in half I broke that six p in half I use me Dad’s file all right you filed it in off and then we took half each sort of a L’s token I know he was young but a no look here in I’ve been a fool yes and I want to marry you you can’t I must you can’t you can’t go marrying everyone you’re going to marry her upstairs what you’re engaged to I sure marry her look you’re engaged to her you can’t be engaged to me as well and I don’t want to be engaged to you I’ve been engaged already I want to be married to you see right away I mean come right off to London now and marry me right now what this Mee come and marry me right now before someone else does see I couldn’t why not well for one thing me Mon’s notice isn’t that well he know to go she wouldn’t let me not Mrs B and botting then come without asking she keep my box well let her who cares I’ll buy your 100 boxes if you’ll come and you haven’t treated me properly are you kissed me when you was already engaged to her look I didn’t come to arifi I was all wrong I admit it I’ve been a fool see there I got myself all tied up with everyone it isn’t as if we didn’t care for one another you and me in well what is it yes or no I don’t know I thought I’d never see you again I didn’t know what I wanted but now I know what I don’t want and what I do want if you don’t say you’ll come I’ll go anyway I have no friend in the world no more I’ve been and throw everything away I don’t know why I’ve done things and why I haven’t done other things all I know is I can’t stand nothing in the world no more AE yes I’ll do it you will of course I will oh I’ve been so miserable oh so a AR wasn’t it silly really stupid yeah I better go she’s calling me you don’t have to answer that no more no I don’t do I oh ay I’m so happy oh we got plans to make I wouldn’t do this for everyone M I should hope not give us a kiss ay and there they were Kip’s fashionable and expensive hat lying neglected on the floor what’s the world coming to oh dear there where did I put my handkerchief sure it was in my breast pocket oh dear dear kind of thing makes a fell come over all sentimental I remember when all this started this silly business with a Sixpence pointless however to dwell on matters of the past when the demands of the present are so pressing within the briefest imaginable time the couple fled first on foot and severally to the Folkston Central Station then in a first class Carriage to Charing Cross and then in a four-wheeler a long rumbling palpitating slow flight through the multitudinous swarming London streets to the home of Sid pornic Anne’s brother where within seconds of their arrival Kips and Anne simultaneously announced that they were to be married as soon as possible Sid lost no time in bringing out a bottle kept for just such occasions congratulations to your both it’s to you a long life again thank you he was all a bit quick that’s the way to do it that’s what we did I that’s s Kips for you impulsive decied and Danny come in excuse me H hello master oh I hope I’m not ined no no no no not at all Arty is going to marry my sister and masterman what you think of that Mr masterman I thought you’d find the higher l a bit difficult but I never thought you’d have the originality to clear out no notice of he’s going to make one of his Melancholy speeches Mr masterman you recall is the pornic first floor front lodger a flushed and emaciated gentleman in whom the combination of a hardworking life creeping illness and perhaps a little endemic pessimism had produced some of the most riveting and confusing observations on contemporary life which it was Kip’s Fortune to hear you would have climbed from one refinement of vulgarity to another and never got to any satisfactory top there’s no top oh you’re doing the right insane thing and that’s a rare spectacle rare you’re going to marry your equal make your own little world and your own house first of all oh we haven’t started to talk about house yet let get all that sorted out an here I’ve made some muffins help yourself muffins and whiskey where there’s life There’s Hope and without eating there’s no life so never mind about what you mix with what have a muffin love thanks very much well here’s the hope then the light of the world hope the of the world an and Kips spent the days before their marriage in a number of agreeable excursions they went to Q by Steam booat and admired the house full of paintings of flowers and one day they went early to have a good long day at Crystal Palace they walked in the October sunshine and presently they came to a region of caves and waterways and discovered huge Effigies of iguanodons and mardons gloriously done in green and gold they’re very big these monsters you wonder how they ever got enough to eat what you going to do about Ellen I mean you’re still engaged to her oh I shall write her letter and apologize I better offer her brother damages he’s a solicitor and maybe he advis her to bring in action for breach of promise I hope not anyway I can’t get match out with reading me letters in court cuz I didn’t write then I don’t suppose they to uh Brothers me solicitor you say each firm handles all me money oh you are pretty a well you ain’t so bad yourself he curious however come to be engaged to her well she wasn’t suited to you anyone could see that oh that’s just it but how did it come about I expect she led you on no no it wasn’t that I don’t know what it was ni Jolly bum but I suppos arm a r sort of fell I get excited sometimes I don’t seem to care what I do that’s what it was about really it was a green and golden day and after wandering through the grounds they settled by the side of the lake where they at the sandwiches is so lovingly prepared by Anne contemplated the Ducks who were also having their lunch and turned their thoughts once more to the Future Let’s talk about our house where are we going to leave Somewhere Only not a big house another sandwich yeah to well we look for the sort of house we want not too big and not too small we’ll have a kitchen and a dining room and a parl no basement why not because there isn’t enough light in a basement and everything’s got to be carried up and down up and down all day holes and everything oh you’d hardly believe Arty if you hadn’t been in service our cruel and silly some houses are built you think they’d had a spite against servants the way the stairs are made well we’ll have a sensible house in sensible things nothing stuck up just sensible I can just see our little house it’s tea time muffins C on the hob C on the off road must get a cat and you and me here a I don’t believe I’ve kissed you for oh getting on for half an air oh Ary you getting tired of me already I like the way your head tends back just there above your eye we started it when you were a girl here look at that monster don’t you think it looks like that check Master man I don’t know that sort of animal is extinct anyway I wonder how they all got extinct no one could possibly killed them I read about it all the animals were was overtook by the flood but I thought they had to take two of everything there was in the ark well within reason they did but this lot of very big beasts they to put their feet right through the bottom of Noah’s boat and the giips continued to speculate on the relative possibilities of the survival of the dinosaur Dynasty while Kips began to think about what he might say in the letter to Helen Dear Miss Bingham now I can’t call her Miss dear fiance how’ you spell it if e no I want do Ellen yes that’s do right elen I can’t marry you I can’t explain exactly why but there’s someone else I just got to marry and I hope you’ll find someone you just got to marry as well and I hope your mother Mrs mingham is well and good luck with everything your friend ARA Kips yeah that do your friend quite like that PS the wedding will be quite [Music] soon gentle would you look at the camera please moving thank you hold it that’s just right thank you now watch the birdie thank you thank you very much thank you come on then ay kiss the bride what you you look come on Arty you got to is a dumb thing of course it is but right then champagne all around and and and and wish young an an AR here their elf and an ay honeymoons and all things come to an end and at last Mr and Mrs Kips descended upon the railway platform of hie station to find their bright dream of a house they began the wearing business of looking at empty properties just look at these windows only yards at curtains what’s that we only a dead beat this place is filthy look here there was no water in them upstairs rooms some poor girl has got to go up and down up and down carrying every drop of water it’s having houses built by men I believe that makes all the work and trouble I think some of your brother said socialism has got into your blood well it’s criminal and stupid this is a dreadful place now let me tell you aarty we don’t want a basement and we want hot and cold water upstairs and we want cold cell in the house so someone doesn’t have to get soaked and Frozen getting Co in from the outside but in we looked at dozens of houses none of them are got all those things well then there’s only one thing to do what’s that we’ll build it hey if we can’t find what we want why can’t we build it well you build it I mean it’s your money well it’s yours as well now can be a socialistic is the next chip but it’s a good idea after all lots of people have built houses I mean how could there be so many houses everywhere if people haven’t built them and having decided to build a house Kips had to find out how to about it he consulted his old friends kot and buggins with whom he had worked as a draper at first they were as non-plus as Kips himself and then buggins remembered that you had to get an architect to do you a drawing of a house and then carshot remembered that he knew a man whose brother was an architect and the architect turned out to be a small alert individual with a black bag and a cylindrical silk hat and a demeanor of impressive woodenness [Music] when kipson Anne sat down in his office he opened his bag took out some biscuits a metal flask a new pair of leather gloves A Clockwork motorc car a bunch of violets and finally a large distended notebook right here we are now Mr and Mrs Kips tell me exactly what sort of accommodation you require well we want cupboards very well cupboards but how many rooms well not too many bedrooms for example how many oh we want one of them we might want another Ry you know two then two bedrooms my dear chap the mest shooting box well you would want a bedroom which could serve for the nanny if I may be so bold three then and you’re bound to have the occasional guest four I suppose and if there were a patter of any more tiny feet I I really think it would be hard to manage with fewer than six hot and cold water laid on to each bedro we settled on that at any rate the plumbing is very expensive Mrs Kips indeed it is not something I would normally suggest to my clients not that sort of Plumbing well I don’t care what the thing costs as long as it’s what we want ah I see well let’s chat a little about the exterior how about a Queen Anne style what’s that when he said the great advantage of the queen an style is that it allows for such variety for example you could have internal features such as an Old English Oak staircase and a gallery oh it sounds nice right I’ll put down six bedrooms uh one with barred Windows suitable for nursery the ceiling of the coal cell has to be at the right heght Mrs Kips are you suggesting that we put the coal cell at the top of the house no but we could have it on the ground floor with the staircase outside it might be made a feature I suppose now how about gas heating oh yes we must have Heating in every room in every room I presume there will also be a breakfast room a dining room and a study for Mr Kips I don’t know oh I’d like a little bit of a study not a bigger one of course then but one with a desk and bookshelves where I could have a book or two yeah i’ like that then we’ll have a little study little study but I don’t see what we want a drawing room and a dining room and a kitchen for if we was going to let in the summer then well and good but we’re not going to let you couldn’t possibly have a house without a drawing room I could not design a house without a drawing room and there is room for it well you can put in a drawing room yeah but we Shan use it the discussion continued when they had left the architect’s office fanyan a little house all of our own I don’t know what we want all them rooms for Ry well they’re necessary you heard the archit I study we don’t study do we Arty we get on and do things when I get that study in I shall do a bit of reading I’ve often want you to do I shall make a habit of going in there and reading something hour every day there Shakespeare and Ipson and wild duck and a lot of things of men like me ought to read self-help that’s what it is it’s a distinctive English characteristic someone told me that once besides them we’ve got to have somewhere to put the encyclopedia the what the encyclopedia it’s a book well one big book spit up into lots of little books we’ve got to have an encyclopedia and if we have an encyclopedia we’ve got to have a study stands to reason I suppose so Arty come on oh we’ll get a cup of tea in a BN and talk about the furniture and the curtains when the archit architect had drawn up the plan they went to visit him again now this tis okay now here we are a plane Style with practically no external features in the best Folkston style if I do say it myself it is perhaps a little too good for Hive now a central Hall with a staircase moish Gallery Tuda stained glass window crenelated battlements octagonal bay windows surmounted by an oriental Dome of metal it looks very big 11 bedrooms worked in easy as easy we won’t all them bedrooms make this one box room then four servants would hardly be enough oh I think you could manage with four I don’t know no we’ll have to think it over a bit the architect had drawn the plans on a transparent bluish paper that smelled abominably he painted the house very nicely in brick red and ginger arsenic green and a leaden sort of blue the gipsies poured over the plans together and with Art’s Uncle who came over from new Romney to visit them what you reckon then Uncle oh not at all bad H you got any more of this ear whiskey Co than don’t I say I saw lot of young officer fellas when I was coming along on the bus you want to join the volunteers my boy and get to know a few well they I might later they’d make you an officer in no time they want officers and it isn’t everyone who can afford it you bought a dog yet not yet uncle nor a motor car not yet uncle quite right now don’t get one of these trashy cheap ones when you do you get one as all last a lifetime I don’t really think I fancy a motor car quite right I expect you’ll be happy I sitting home well we’re both pretty busy what we’re thinking about the house look at what it says plane of a house but Arthur keeps Esquire very smart we couldn’t find what we wanted so we thought why shouldn’t we run that one for ourselves it’s a speculation of course I must say this isn’t exactly the sort of house I should expect you to have practically it’s a villa it’s a sort of house a bank Clark might have it isn’t what I should call a gentleman’s house ay well it’s PL of course so long as it’s comfortable you ain’t comfortable my girl in this world not if you don’t live up to your position a house of this sort is what a retired tra Tradesman might have or a solicitor it’s got 11 bedrooms is that more what a gentleman would have 11 bedrooms let’s have another look oh now you could have a billiard room there a lot of these officers would be glad of a game of Billiards what’s all these dots uh Shrubbery flowering Shrubbery don’t you think 11 bedrooms is a bit of a lot you want them my girl as you get on you’ll be having visitors friends your husbands from the school of musketry you can’t never tell we have a Shrubbery we should have to have a g if you don’t have a Shrubbery how are you going to prevent every Jack and apes that goes by steering into your drawing room window we ain’t used to a Shrubbery we can get on very well with that one it isn’t what you’re used to it’s what you ought to have now study and Library oh that’s good that’s very good the discussion continued even after old Kips had taken himself home well Uncle lik it I don’t know aunti 11 bedrooms just think of all that cleaning uncle’s right we must have servants we got to keep up our position I can’t have you scrubbing floors you got to have a seron or two and you got to manage a house you wouldn’t want me ashame would you no aune but I did want it to be a little house a handy little house just for us I’m not only thinking of myself I’m thinking of you too and other people I don’t want us to be looked down upon but who would look down on us well this young waling my solicor what hand all me money I don’t want him sneering and sniffing at me mom as good as him now even if I didn’t marry your sister I’m sorry arttie I wasn’t thinking we’ll have the big house I don’t want anyone saying I’ve dragged you down which it well maybe you were right in no aarty it means a lot to you and we’ll have it and so Kips was committed to 2,500 pounds worth of building work soon he became the owner of a freehold plot of 38 of an acre and saw the turf being wheeled away from the site that should one day be his home here we are in this is where my stud’s going to be it’s just a pile of stones AR well that’s what’s exciting about building an house it’s the imagining here we’ll have to think of a nine fruit own Cottage how about there oh I like cottage for an house but then with 11 bedrooms it isn’t exactly a cottage proberbly speaking it’s more like a villa oh how about own Villa then how about Eureka Villa what’s Eureka what’s your name they used to be Eureka dress fers when I was a PR straper I come to think of it there’s lots of names that we got out a shop we could have pajama Villa then there was marip poter it’s a sort of oatmeal C we can’t call an a pajama Villa AR you why not we can call it anything we like well so long as it fits eh I could call it Woody after me grandfather Woody who left me all me money or something simple like number one or patriotic like Empire Villa or elegant like sand or RTI like Sten kidney Villa as an and Kips walked home their Spirits lightened by the prospect of choosing a name for the house Kips was reminded of the momentous surprise when he first learned that he was to be elevated from the position of humble Draper in a Folkston Emporium to that of young gentleman with a private income to dispose of the announcement had been made he remembered by a solicitor called Bean oh Bean of watching him being oh Kips had come a long way since that day now as he and Anne awaited progress on their new house they stayed temporarily in rented accommodation which was furnished in a style of mediocre Elegance there was a sideboard of carved Oak there were a pair of Japanese jars on the mantle shelf several Sumptuous Chinese fans and a turkey carpet of great richness there were also two inactive tall clocks whose extreme dilapidation appealed to The Connoisseur or so Kips had been told one day the kipes were sitting at their midday dinner table amidst the vestiges of rubar pie discussing the 1:00 post Kips was attired in a suit of brown with a tie of fashionable green while Anne wore one of those picturesque loose robes that are usually associated with sandals and advanced ideas I got a letter from Sid there’s a couple of postcards for you what’ they say uh well I ne young walshingham says he’s unavoidably prevented from seeing me today well lock is cheap we range to go and start a Builders I must say he’s been treating you a bit off recently yes he’s getting too big for his britches ever since I married you instead of his sister he seemed to think I got no right to spend me own money what she other a postcard yes I’ve can read much of it c h Oh by Jo he’s from chit llo you know the actor check I met a while ago now now what’s he say uh oh yes what price AR now well expect his other dance something or not dance something towards getting on that play of his play acting I’ll play what he wrote Always or something Ed invested some money in it some money yeah a couple of thousand couple of thousand oh it was a safe investment he assured me well actually he sort of Tau me into it samow without my really knowing what was going on very aming chat he could be well sometimes always act to something full of stories maybe he’s had a bit of luck I can’t read the rest he and writing’s terrible I’ll clear the things away if you finished what you going to do now now then go for a walk well I went for a walk yesterday I suppose I could go for another bit windy out take your scarf wonder why young B won’t see me it’s all lies about him being too busy I’m sure it is it’s raining ay put on your Mac right hope when I’ll come back let’s have a bit of tea and some toasted Tea cake eh toast it in front of the fire right ay tea and toasted teacake things conspired to demoralized Kips that afternoon his Macintosh flapped around his legs the rain stung his cheek and then quite abruptly the weather changed the sun Shan and there was Kips in his MacIntosh and squeaky leggings looking like a fool Dam it Mr Wills why don’t I ever get anything right that lady over there has an umbrella of course the right thing for a day like today is a light over coat and umbrella damn I’ll never get anything right look how the house is getting on Gibs there’s no one here it’s just trenches for the bck concrete the builders revving me don’t Bing comes having me and don’t respect me cuz I can’t do things right I’m an outcast if I had a special sort of tutor to show me everything right I’d be in a pink that’s rubbish Kips well look at that 11 bedrooms no one ever come to stay I’m got a f with car what about buggins and car shop shop assistant oh dear Sid and vny pornic and their baby little Walt Whitman but those socialist lot besides they’re relatives anyway well then there’s that chap over there where walking on the other side of the road Mr coot coot well bless my soul hey coot chister C over here it’s me a Kips oh he can’t hear me c I think he heard you he hasn’t even look around he’s walking on he’s hurrying Mr Wells he’s cut me Chester C has cut me that is the end it really is well perhaps I was wrong perhaps he didn’t hear you no he heard me and he cut me oh Lord there’s nothing left that’s a little unfair oh well you tell me who else is there left I’m surprised at you Arthur Kips there’s Anne oh her she’s just an just an oh well I suppose she’s all right but she’s been all tearful and Moody lately has she now what’s that supposed to mean it’s supposed to mean have you thought about why she’s all tearful and Moody well to worry about the house aspose oh come on Gibs well what else oh oh Mr Wells you don’t mean you can’t me ask her then talk to her I will I will T I’m phone now although Kips was hurrying home with some hopeful excitement in his heart it must be confessed that the passing encounter with coot or rather the of encounter had gone very deep coot who had spoken to him of self-help coot who had lent him books on the language of flowers and manners and etiquette cot whose sister had spoken to him of the world’s hundred best paintings cot whom he had considered his friend cutting him because because he had married beneath his station he was in a mental turmoil and in physical discomfort as his Macintosh swished against his legging and his leggings piped and whistled over his boot [Music] tops aan hello aan a where are you here a in the kitchen washing up a what’s all these cards on the old table cards oh that’s callers what Miss G poret Smith Miss Mabel poret Smith the Reverend d P Smith L clergy there was a lady and two grown-up girls all dressed up and him there was no him but he called he didn’t call just a lady and two young ladies but why should they leave this card if he didn’t come with them perhaps all the cars they got whoever calls not a little chat I told you no gentleman well that’s rum he must have given a slip going off while they’re waiting for you to let him in it’s a fair call anyhow what do they talk about they didn’t I didn’t let them in didn’t let them in no why enough if not well when the door went I was upstairs polishing the floor I didn’t know there was callers we ain’t never had no callers I thought i’ polish the floor and get tea how was I just thinking about callers so what then I came and knocked at the door I thought it was a Tradesman or something I never took me apron off i’ polish all over me hands there they was he’s Mrs Kips at home she says to me yes me no polish no cap on or nothing not mistress nor servant well l i could have sunk through the floor with shame I really could I could only get me voice out I just said not at home and out of habit like I held out the tray for the card so they gave me the cards and they went well I never they looked me up and down and they went that’s about it I wouldn’t have that for £5 clergyman and all is that so AR K you did ought to know better than that and you really did that’s what you think is it what else can I think I don’t see there’s any use getting an estate about it don’t you I do use these people good enough to want to associate with us and then you go and slap him in the face I did not slap him in the face practically you slam the door in their faces and that’s what we’ll ever see them again I’ll tell you what Ian you got to return that call that’s what you got to do whatever you’ll have to look it up in that book I got maners and rules of good Society you got to find out just how many cars to leave and then you got to leave them see don’t know anything about that I just told you you find out how they won’t recognize you’re not in that Bond Street I bought you and if they do they won’t say nothing no what I can’t you must I can’t and I won’t anything in reason I’ll do but I won’t face those people again after what happened you won’t that’s right I won’t I see so there they go and we never see them again we don’t know nobody and we shall know nobody and you won’t put yourself out not one little bit or take the trouble to find out how anything ought to be done I don’t think I ever ought to marage you Al for gibon that’s a truth if I’d known you had these ideas before I married you I never would have married you oh don’t go on like that it’s true I’m not equal to the position that you want you should have told me what you wanted then I’d have known what you wanted I don’t see why you shouldn’t try I’ve improved no in from what I was I don’t know about that what I don’t want to improve I’m me and I like me like I am to there oh now that butter tea cake I spent so long of tea is all gone cold tastes like leather L I just have to throw it away the gipsies spoke no more to one another that day the sense of wrong which each one felt burned within them their souls were full of pain they suffered and did not understand why and they could not voice their pain to one another look [Music] next morning Kips received a telegram from his ex fance Helen Walsingham summoning him to folkton urgently well it’s funny seeing you again Helen yes why’d you send me that telegram it’s Sly very urgent it is I’m afraid I’ve got some rather bad news not your mother well mother is quite distraught she’s had to take to her bed no it’s Henry D I’ve been trying to get hold of him so he’s I’m afraid you won’t be able to find him he’s not lost is he well not exactly he’s gone away well you’ll be back won’t he I don’t think so I’m horribly afraid Arthur that Henry is not all he should be you see he was always rather careless with money pocket money when he was a child that sort of thing but now well it’s other people’s money he’s rather careless with oh you yes oh la and after all that mother and I hoped for well it is not to be we should not be able to move to London or anything well never mind you can stay here it’s worse than that you see I’m terribly afraid that he is embezzled with your money among others well that sounds very important but it is important it is quite shocking I’m sure you’ll get over it father I don’t think you quite understand do you know what embezzlement means no but I’m sure he knows what he’s doing oh I think he does look perhaps we’d better go to a solicitor who can explain it to you but I got a solicitor your brother Henry he’s my solic I think you will need another solicitor come we can go now Ellen can I ask you something the solicitor will be able to answer all your questions Arthur no no no something personal when I said I couldn’t marry you was he very angry well not really no I think we would not have been ideally suited so you’re not made it me oh no Arthur how could I be after having the word embezzled explained to him his face was very white when he returned home to Anne and so urgent was his news that he broke the silence between them an I’ve got something to tell you what AE he’s gone young W Singham he’s cleared off I don’t understand he’s gone for good I saw re and his sister she sent me the telegram and she told me everything he’d been speculating he speculated our money and other people’s money and now he slung his o you mean he’s lost our money yes all of it not a penny left if I had him here I’d bring his neck I would what turn up he bought things dear and he sold him cheap we’re ruined oh I don’t know he I just told you oh I don’t mean to shout at you but I’m so shook out what did Ellen say she told me to get another cister straight away and get him to help me I think she always knew her brother wasn’t reliable but didn’t like to say so what did you do then I went to Old Bean it was my cista before I give all the money to Young Bing what did he say well he couldn’t tell me much till we got a few more fakes and there’s the new house and he knows how many other Deads I don’t think I should mind it all that much we was fools and and didn’t know our benefits and then there buggins I promised I’d help him start a little outfitting shop in rendevu Street it was good to me when I was first apprenticed as a draper I think it might not be as bad as you think we’re bankrupt I ought to have known I don’t mind so much myself but it’s you in I don’t think it’s a disaster I don’t mind working I won’t go back into service that’s out the question I’m married and well there’s other things but I could do other jobs like work in a shop it’ be more campy than cleaning an house on me own all day I couldn’t do all that again looking at advertisements and trying to find a good place fancy will that beginning again look Arty first we should wait till you hear from old Bean and second we’ll manage all right honest I don’t know you can think like that it’s the way I am oh I’ve been so cross with you and a fool about them cards I’m sorry that was just silly I nearly forgot about that already I didn’t really care whether or not you called on that clergy of course you didn’t now you were so at up yesterday that I didn’t get a chance to tell you something and I had something to ask you and I clean forgot well is it true if it means what I think it does then it is I’m going to have a baby we’re going to have a baby what really oh oh how clever you are oh no Mr Kips how clever you are well anyway we got to celebrate what should we do should we go for a walk go out to tea go out to a restaurant oh oh no oh dear how we going to manage with a baby I said we’ll manage now we’ll go for a walk and then we’ll come back and we’ll have hot butter toast and tea and then we’ll go to bed [Music] when Kips heard from old Bean again it was as an had said not quite as bad as it first appeared there was well over ,000 and there was the Freehold of the land Kips had already paid for and there was still the house in folston Hendon which had belong to his grandfather that was let for the summer and would go on bringing in rent with these facts before them an and Kips began to plan aen what’ you say to us getting a shop oh I’d like a shop of our own what kind of shop you know drapery you could teach me no you want a lot of capital for a draper over £1,000 I thought of something else I was thinking of a little book shop I think I’d liked it then I could have a good going at reading as well I’ve often wanted to you know much about books no you don’t need to I noticed that when ladies go to the library they aren’t half as fuss as when they go the Draper if they go in a Draper and you haven’t got what they want it’s oh no and out they go but in a book shop it’s different one book’s very like another after all people will take what you give them in books and be glad to be told what to read it’s a wonderful idea Ry we weren’t really suited to having lots of money fish is out of water no one will come calling and leaving cards nah no need for us to be stuck up we’ll be common people with no position at all we’ll be shopkeepers shortly Kips noticed an advertisement for a comprehensive scheme of transatlantic origin which involved the financing of a train of book shops he replied and before long the shop was a reality there was a smell of paint and of the shavings of imperfectly seasoned Pinewood already his name Arthur Kips was outline in white letters above the shop under the counter to the right paper and string l ready to spring up and embrace good sold on the table to the left art publications thank you madam do call again in the kitchen at the back of the shop Anne sat in the evening knitting little garments for some unknown stranger while Kips worked on his accounts look ay what you think of him he’s lovely perfect look at all him fingers he’s over9 where’d he get £ from he weighs silly yeah I do oh I couldn’t go on you won’t break oh oh all right here careful why is he dropping his head you got to support his head in your hand like that there you are oh it’ll fall and get hold of him oh oh look he’s just lying all quiet here yeah this is a bit of all right isn’t it he likes you I should think so bom is dead you either that yeah what do I call him I don’t know we can call him what we like we could call him anything at all Arie board Jordan Anthony James Eureka no can’t have Eureka KS written up over the shop come to think of it I should by Rights include me father’s name some we Woody oh but you can’t call a little scrap Wy can you I bet Offa Wy Kips that’s just it Offa Woody keeps good you and on the shop it will say off for Kips and son how about that then hey well the story is practically finished or if not finished has nearly reached the moment when we might properly leave the kipes to their busy life but there are one or two people whose stories need to be brought up to date for example the actor chap Chito Chito arrived in the shop one morning in singularly Crump evening dress with a hat tilted remarkably forward and one vast White Glove flung out and burst into tears sit Biff oh Kips Kips my dear old M Kips good old Kips oh Kips you have no idea my play my play you remember I think so oh dear chillo I’m sorry if it’s flopped oh it’s it’s a success my dear chap your trust in me has been validated and I’ve come to tell you it’s a it’s a big success I’ll be all right in a minute calm down calm down Cho why this is marvelous what you up dear fellow oh I’ve been to First nights before you know I’ve been up all night talking to the boys but nothing like this tell me how he happened well they laughed a bit at the beginning but nothing like a settled laugh until the second act you know that bit about the chap with a live beetled on his neck well then they began laughing laughing we jumped him into the third act before they had time to cool I never saw a first night go so fast they laughed at everything they laughed at things we didn’t mean to be funny then Biff Biz curtain I went on but I didn’t say a word it was like walking across Niagara all that Applause going across that stage oh I’m delighted for you oh it means wealth thousands of pound owns money oh I’m glad it’s come to me now and not before I’ve learned the value of money there may be a country house a flat in Westminster but nothing more you Kips shall have your rightful share for believing in me Bo it’s de decent of you tell the truth I forgot all about it it’s even in the paper a review a whole column and now I must leave you and take the news to my darling wife farewell mate farewell oh best of friends and with that Chito his face lit by a vast excitement departed into the sunlight with his buoyant walk buoyant almost to the point of being tottering he stopped at the news boy stand and bought a copy of every single newspaper proceeding on his way swinging a great budget of papers a figure of merited success Anne and Kips watched the proceedings from the doorway of the shop I’m glad for him so am I if anyone deserves success he’s chit llo well about all that money coming to you Bo it won’t make no difference we’ll keep the shop on anyhow I have much trust in money after all that’s happened to me that was 2 years ago and as the whole world knows Harry Cho’s play The pestered Butterfly is still playing to packed houses in a little theater in the Strand night after night the beatle scene draws happy tears from the crowds and every so often Kips receives a welcome check from Chito he sits in the Little Kitchen behind the shop while Anne baths Arthur W Kips in front of the fire I shall put the money in the bank against the day you have to go to school after W he Kips till there’s free education you got to be paid for and you’re going to grow up knowing your way about a bit I’ve off for mine to bury under the shop and expect one it always be coming bound at nights to make sure it was still there I don’t seem to trust anyone I wonder who that can be it’s a bit like for the sh I’ll just see it is the Bookshop which belongs to Kips is on the left hand side of Hive High Street as you come from folon between the yard of the Livery station and the shop window of antiques and silver good evening sir what may you have the pleasure I’m I’m looking for a book well you come to the right place what sort of book is it well I like fantasy scientific romanes that sort of thing I’m looking for a book called The First Men in the Moon oh it’s rather a good title who wrote it f called Wells HG Wells Wells Wells now that name rings a bell but I don’t recall the book what’s it about well it’s about it’s about the first men on the moon well there’s a Ramen mind you it’s not as dared as it sounds it isn’t no I was on the moon once really well I come into me Fortune you may not believe it to look at me but I inherited a fortune once did you oh yes run through it then I got another speculating in plays I need and keep this shop on if I I didn’t want to you know but it’s something to do and I’ll get to meet gentleman like yourself what read books I never dream about and write them too pardon Y no nothing nothing of course I’ve seen some things in the Youth of course I could tell you a story or two ah well everyone has a story to tell B just eat now I’ve wrote down the title of that book you wanted are you sure it’s no trouble for you no trouble I’ll show you I’ll order it for you she’ll be here in a couple of weeks I’ll call again please do I’m always pleased to have a chat you stopping here for your rolid days yes after a fashion by the way could you recommend a reliable gents outfits oh you want buggins he just a job little shop in Rendevous Street he’ll have everything for a jent’s wardrobe tell him I sent you here’s his card I should be sure to do so buggins good day then good day sir call in anytime I’m always here The Marvelous thing about going into Kip’s shop is that you can talk to him about absolutely anything he can talk about books politics about going to bne about life and its ups and downs he will quote to you the sayings of a chap called masterman he can discourse on the finer points of running a drapery Emporium and he can share your Delight in Beethoven should you be the sort of refined person who Delights in Boven I myself am now an old and trusted customer of his and for many amiable reasons I intend to keep things on that very pleasant footing [Music] one day during that very beautiful summer Kips and Anne went for a row on the hi Canal there was the water shining bright and the sky a deepening blue and the great trees that dipped their boughs in the water and out of the darkness of the water Rose a question the question of The Wonder of the beauty the purposeless inconsecutive beauty that falls so strangely among the happenings and memories of Life the question however never quite reached the surface of Kip’s mind it never took to itself substance or form ay what p your thoughts ay oh I don’t think they’re worth as much as that I wasn’t really thinking of anything at all no not anything at all well I suppose I was just thinking what a r go everything is I expect it was just something a bit like that funny old ay ain’t I though I don’t suppose there was ever a chip quite like me before no I don’t expect there was Arty and then again I don’t know I just I know and if Kips doesn’t know who am I to say whether there has ever been anyone quite like him [Music] Paul danman played HG Wells Mark ster Kips and MOA Leslie an in the fifth and final episode of Kips by HG Wells which has been dramatized in five episodes by Micheline Wonder Sid Michael Jenner Fanny Theresa Stratfield masterman Nigel Anthony Kip’s Uncle John Hollis architect Brett AER Helen Katherine Halbert and Chito Nicholas Gra the music was composed by Alona seat and played by Bill eard Harold Lester and Christopher Smith Kips was directed by Martin [Music] Jenkins ah [Music]