Nick Rochefort on Hollywood Elites, Life in Rhode Island, & The Best Places to Buy Real Estate

Comedian and podcaster Nick Rochefort, from Scuffed Realtor & MDE joins us on Rough Week! You’ve seen Nick on PGL (Perfect Guy Life), Million Dollar Extreme, World Peace on Adult Swim, and doing live stand up comedy.

TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Sports Growing Up
04:59 NFL & Sports Betting
08:04 The Homeless
15:43 The Northeast/Florida
19:04 Texas
23:23 Fitness Gurus
30:54 Rich Kids
37:32 Dance Moms
39:09 Harvey Weinstein
42:31 Sam Bankman Fried
44:02 Celeb Body Cam Footage
46:36 Aaron Hernandez
50:06 Bumping into Celebs
53:39 Michael Vick
57:28 Dog Cities
58:55 Mormons
1:00:21 Providence Italians
1:01:49 Rex Ryan & Shannon Sharp
1:03:31 ESPN Sucks Now
1:05:51 Tom Brady Roasts
1:08:50 Being French Canadian

Jake is awake Jake’s aw ready to shake you doing your vocal warm-ups yeah shake wake guy Jake’s awake cake trying to shake his cake Heaven’s Sake Heaven’s Gate Heaven’s Gate they all run that’s Kool-Aid right yeah that’s the Kool-Aid sneakers one Jim Crow no uh Jim since the Kool-Aid Jimmy Hart I think it was yeah that was Jimmy Hart he let me tell something about a cult in the space is that a wrestler yeah Jimmy Hart’s the guy with the megaphone oh okay I don’t know I didn’t do I never watched wrestling I was in a big wrestling guy but it turns out that wrestling lore is actually the most is more interesting than NFL lore yeah it’s got to be great what did you what did you guys watch what did you watch a lot when you were kid football right crazy yeah Bill’s fan Bills suck though we’re good now you are good now we were horrible my whole childhood awful a whole childh well you don’t deserve a football it’s it’s like a [ __ ] mid-level Metropolis that got a I don’t know it’s all they have yeah yeah they got two though don’t they have two buffalo have yeah hockey team and a football team that is over representation whoever the sale the town solicitor salesman he’s literally like a slick haired wearing like billionaire he’s so good at selling like you got the NHL and the NFL like one shot dude and the owner owns the the same owner own he’s like [ __ ] he’s so good at selling he’s like and then I got a football team get this hockey this is Wolf of Wall Street [ __ ] oh Cal [ __ ] 800 people live there yeah name him a sword dude [ __ ] it it’s 800 people the swords yeah the swords that’s yeah yeah just totally geeked out Whoa man I’m [ __ ] on fire man the Bills who’s Bill I don’t know I don’t know Bill you here’s your bill 40 [ __ ] million the [ __ ] is it this town town of 300,000 in northe northwest New York it really professional sports team in [ __ ] Bakersfield California it’s really a random place it is it’s like just giving it Gary Indiana [ __ ] it yeah you don’t got water or highways but [ __ ] it here’s a huge NFL stadium are they pissed when they’re like I’m going to [ __ ] Buffalo no because they’re treated like genuine royalty they I think they hate it when they find out but then dude I mean when we lose a playoff game and the season’s over like 10,000 people show up to the private airport and just stand there in the snow in February and just scream their names and like wave goodbye like they’re going to war sweet but it’s pretty embarrassing yeah it’s very much like our our boys are coming home yeah yeah it’s like Mrs Sullivan they’re all yeah they’re five dead Sons do you remember that song Mrs Sullivan was really good it’s it’s really fun uh look up in the Mrs Sullivan song uh it’s like the most tragic song about World War II about a woman losing her five Sons when you hear it you’re going to it’s so and that’s the Buffalo Bills fan yeah that’s that’s losing four by the fourth one she’s like all right come on seriously she’s the fifth one’s probably dead yeah give me two at once yeah she probably so numb by the fourth okay fourth kid’s dead just [ __ ] off [ __ ] off at this point keep [ __ ] this Buffalo solicitor mouth yeah you [ __ ] War Hero’s mom what were you weren’t a wrestling guy were you a football guy I was a football guy yeah Pats yeah it’s not exciting to say Pat how old are you I’m 39 okay so saw so you were already like fairly grown when you guys were doing great yeah we suck dick until like 01 my senior when I played football I played football in high school pretty competitively and then a college I played like a [ __ ] hole D1 AA school and we sucked dick and like they were like the problem about like onea is like I’m too short to be a tight end like I’m six like two and 3/4 yeah and I was like 230 like that’s not a tight end that’s a that’s a bench warmer like go play nose yeah yeah go yeah they you sure I’m like der bricka Shaw over here is going to smashed my helmet like a [ __ ] like a mushroom like you’re a hello now yes dude like yeah I comp with him yeah like like [ __ ] Hawaiian orange hair guy yeah did you play full on I don’t know enough about college but you played D1 schools like regular D1 schools we play like onea so it’s really like dumb so we play Columbia like Ivy League schools play Harvard got [ __ ] up by onea get used you smell onea it’s got to be demoralizing they get used as like a tuneup game for the big school so the only time they play one of the big programs first game of the year just so they they give balls Alabama just you know gives you 5 million to [ __ ] rape you lose 84 to nothing in front of my father I ride the bench I’m just like Hey Dad I’m never going in I suck I I I went just because U like a ratio my I went with four kids from high school and I was just so impressed that I could like play I played like one year in high school and I had like okay size but I sucked like I wasn’t a good football player I like football it’s fun it’s a great sport to watch until like recently when we realized that like when uh when the NFL got Absol when the NFL got gayer than eating gallons of [ __ ] in years I don’t know how that happened but they’re like look what he’s wearing and like the walks Lo room shot that’s gayer than sucking on a dick right now I can blow you both and somehow that’s gay so gay like I don’t know how dude the NBA does the same thing yeah Kyle kzo will be Kyle kozma dressed like a drag queen every game we’re supposed to take this seriously right now on in drag he’s like a drag queen alien you’re like Kyle kozma coming into the building I’m like he should be attacked there’s a certain level like be roller blades French kissing the bus driver I’m like he’s playing the Sixers he should be beaten there should be a bunch of guys bunch of guys from Philly dude the is coming in the building dressed from the future this future coming into the building we need to kill I didn’t know they had in space at the wallall must have had too many hogies at the wall [ __ ] shoving hogies up his ass yeah you can’t Lube your [ __ ] up with water with water dude he’s spitting in his own ass that that was very like uh what what football like they’ve destroyed NFL for us real bad I mean it’s really corn it’s a corny I think it’s fixed I’m pretty sure that once Vegas yeah once they got their their claws in inside everything is gambling everything is gambling I’m really sick of it I don’t want to see another draftking sports book draft there’s like nine of them yeah dude they it should not be as legal as it is I don’t know if that I I feel like it’s isn’t it weird how it is like mad legal like we we had Uncle went to jail I don’t like you know you know you had a friend aie illegal right it was like the scummy thing now they’re like no now ESPN is sponsored by a bookie and you’re like that’s okay now I guess we used to go to my uncle wanted a gamble he would take me to Marios in h Falls New York it was this old like [ __ ] spot and he would buy like sigs and then he would gamble illegally and I would just look at the nudie mags stare at the girls tits right did Stacy Dash cover King Magazine really Stacy Dash it was was a [ __ ] red hot 10 money Stacy Dash I would Rim her for a month I’m a married man with a Mor I would I would I wouldn’t stop riming until I was into her chin from the ass first I would RI her like a jawbreaker I would get her layered yeah that was I remember the King Magazine cover that was the first time I saw like a real black ass even though she’s she’s like halfway there she has a black she’s Irish black or she’s something she’s got great tits the face yeah the face is like polish the ass is black I was like what the [ __ ] is that yeah my soul gets black when I look at it yeah literally I’m like M money mo I can’t believe her she was yeah she was by far yeah and she AG like wine too yeah she’s still hot like Fox News say isn’t she like Trump’s [ __ ] running mate right now fuled yeah she’s fully red [ __ ] trans out of our [ __ ] school Stacy stay hot like [ __ ] what H Stacey sh bend over and lay first I’m sorry my wife I’m sorry my wife of 15 years but she knows my wife’s like that’s my hall pass of Stacy Dash really yeah probably that are a crack hole underneath the brid so on Sixth Street yeah Sixth Street crack C in you told me about the the homeless whatever the slipping and Pew what happened oh man yeah I’m going to [ __ ] spoil my stand up T but yeah last time I was there I we leave I’m leaving uh Vulcan and I I had like a like a sip of tequila I was having a cigarette and I I like you ever like whack a drink and you knew you like it just hits you with like you swallowed it wrong your swallowing Tempo was off and I was like oh like it hit like I’m a good I’m a you know I’m probably more Varsity drinking than I am football and I was having a cigarette and like the smoke got coupled up with the drink and I was like and I slipped in [ __ ] and then I was like H and then I look up and there’s just a homeless guy beating his open dick right on the side of me it was like a tri and I was like I did like a puked like immediately I was like this is cuz the smell of the [ __ ] like I opened the pore of theit and it was like it was like it was human [ __ ] like there was no it wasn’t dog [ __ ] distinctively human [ __ ] why did they do that here they [ __ ] on the floor no just like like why well the civil engineers of of Austin were like you know what we need behind all these restaurants [ __ ] crime like yeah alleys perfect alleys to pop out of and you look at this like dumpsters kind of like caddy corner like [ __ ] up dude we all Park under the all the comedian when you do spots on down there you park on the overpass and so I just like pulled my car in there the other day there were two guys with needles in their arms just pass on the ground I’m like I’ll pay for [ __ ] parking oh you should have kicked them in the head you should have kicked yeah get up I’m your father you [ __ ] [ __ ] don’t you get a job like your [ __ ] sister you stupid [ __ ] grown men crying it’s just a scene from America you [ __ ] cry baby you never be like your [ __ ] brother you you step on his knle on his arm you should I hate uh bums I [ __ ] can’t say no I I’ve been on this for a while I really they’re [ __ ] they’re [ __ ] dicks who cares douchebags dude they’re douchebags psychotic assh you’re mad at them CU they’re I mean they’re literally Psych they say that’s that’s that’s what they say no no no like I was at La they clock out of being behind the dumpster like yeah this guy’s eating the propaganda big homeless big homeless is in your head head big bum Lobby over here it’s getting paid by stink yeah getting paid in uh shopping carts to uh also everybody down here who’s like all like this is not some escape from California I’m like there’s traffic there’s homeless people yeah it’s hot it’s [ __ ] yeah there’s Cowboys I’m surprised plus 25 Dees in a lot of way well have you do you have you lived in La no I never lived there I’ve been there too many times I lived there with my wife she had a job and I was in Venice Beach and she we lived in like a night like a nice place my wife was making pretty good money I was paying like at the time it was like 2014 we pay like 3900 bucks four grand a month I was like cool this [ __ ] nice spot it was a house like kind of like this like in California I would wake up and I would hear like piss and I was like what the [ __ ] that’s piss like someone’s pissing and I’d look down it was just a grown man pissing then I’d I’d walk around the corner I was like yo get the [ __ ] out of here and he would like run I Come Around the Corner to like intelligen of coffee and he’s having a coffee I like bums have coffee I was like what the5 cup yeah Cado please iing no Stevia dude city counil city councilman yeah I take a leak what’s the big deal dude there culture around here but I would be at parties and be like oh they should snowplow all the [ __ ] bums to hell and girls it was I might as well have said like which one of you girls wants to suck my [ __ ] to completion after the other girls done sucking my [ __ ] to complete they were so turned off about like thinking that bums were not and they were like they’re sick that’s the that’s what they say they’re sick yeah kill me if I’m a bum blow my head off [ __ ] my ass with a gun I don’t care you ever SE hom [ __ ] me with a gun I’m done with that excuse yeah I’m done with that my Aunt Janie was SI excuse my aun was sick for Go lobby here comes the pin the diabetic pin Lobby dude [ __ ] bum pack over here bum pack buack you make over 150,000 a [ __ ] month on this on this bum pack thing on this homeless homeless sticking up Survivor did I did I ever tell you the story about the guy who came up to me in Boston asked for money there used to be this guy this homeless guy in Boston right around like downtown uh like the Theater District okay like near like the Tam yep and uh he was always there and he was always grumpy and I was really broke at the time and he came up to me he like Hey man can I get a dollar and I was like I’m sorry man I don’t have any money he like come on man it’s $1 are you are you [ __ ] serious this $1 I literally I walked past him I turned around I opened my empty wallet and I was like doesn’t look like I have any [ __ ] money and he was L you know you’re crazy when whoa dude all right sorry man I AP sorry man my bad he goes back to being a research I shouldn’t have asked you guess there I go again letting my uh inhibitions get the best of me gets an Alexis ls500 takes off I’ll be going now yeah Jesus Christ I am out of my mind myself my Luke my apologies normal you know what I ate a bit too much of my own [ __ ] to the and I sorry perhaps that was a bit presumptuous I didn’t mean the maggots are talking again the maggots behind my eyes you look like a worm so sorry sorry yeah I get a little big for my britches because I am God so I’m our Lord and savior I got to B for the Brites here dude yeah one dude the CL a bum asked me for he goes can I have $5 for the bus and I was drinking and I felt generous I give him $3 and he goes I asked for five oh I was like are you kid are you a beggar being a Chooser right now yeah sure am I like that’s insane I asked for five I’m like I know and I gave you three ask [ __ ] two other people I’m going to put you on Reddit choosy Beggars and then he just [ __ ] rapes you with a crowbar is going to get me dude the rators are going to get me there’s no winning like it’s like bum logic is not logic like you can’t you can’t oh you give a guy three bucks you think you know you or you give him a meal actually there was a I was I was talking to Matt mccusker and he was saying that one of the dudes works at a restaurant some waitress came outside and she was like giving the bums food and [ __ ] that’s like a common problem all these restaurants popping up groceries are too expensive restaurants are [ __ ] almost the same price as cooking in your own home yes so now we have all these Indie restaurants [ __ ] starting up and uh which is great and then like people like the homeless people become a problem because we have these open air postco scenarios for logistical layouts for uh restaurants so the bums come up and they start like harassing people they were [ __ ] nuisance it’s like a new found problem so bums will come up and you can’t give them anything and I always see like the Yuppy girls kind of shwing them away one of the girls was feeding them he’s like don’t do that it’s going to blow up in you the guy grabs her right by the [ __ ] [ __ ] oh and then she didn’t give the bums food anymore wow it just took one [ __ ] hard mestation to be like maybe I shouldn’t just one one pigeon grabs you by the [ __ ] and you’re done feeding a bread that’s it she probably came so hard oh oh my God soaking his hand he’s just looking at him he like get a grip lady come on I just wanted that half a sandwich you freak so you’re so bad you’re so bad being homeless grabbing me by the [ __ ] so bad what is I like an assertive man and he jumps in his [ __ ] shopping cart and [ __ ] does 100 miles hour away dude your setup in your H dude your house is like a my dream house oh yeah nice dump sick not a dump the bar yeah no it’s it’s cool it’s dude I was like I’m moving to the woods I got move to the woods man come to the Northeast it’s my hardest sale yeah New England’s the it’s the best part of the country cheap [ __ ] 400 Grand you get 250 to 400 Grand I’m not saying that’s for everybody but right now the way of inflation you know you’re average a I think you can make [ __ ] minimum wage of $38 an hour and then come up to Connecticut and get a dope house for Eastern Connecticut is a it’s a weird dichotomy of like Western Rhode Island Eastern Connecticut Connecticut you think of like Rich Greenwich people yeah right over the line Eastern Connecticut it’s a bunch of [ __ ] deadbeat pieces of [ __ ] with like slip knot PJs and like smiley face shirts and [ __ ] and they think they’re like these dignified like wasps right and I’m like [ __ ] don’t start your [ __ ] house is worth [ __ ] 389 okay you have a [ __ ] 20-year-old Saab that doesn’t run well that’s a [ __ ] head gasket leak you white white [ __ ] smoke porn out of your [ __ ] exhaust you have a sweater TI around your shirt it’s a [ __ ] $12 Gap sweater yeah you’re busted and broke and you’re grinding me on an antique this is like the antique PTSD that I used to get my parents live over there and they’re all like wannabe like Rich it’s all cheap pieces of [ __ ] yeah me it’s good you can you should dude I mean Bridgeport is Like Flint Michigan insane bridport Connecticut I’ve never been dude you drive you’re like I’m going to Connecticut and then you go there there’s bullet holes in all the businesses it’s like [ __ ] up dude people like we from Connecticut such a weird Flex We hey brido we love golf dog yo lacrosse is fat as [ __ ] I play I play long pole I play in this [ __ ] you know how you know oh there you go talking about Muffet and [ __ ] look my tiny salmon shorts [ __ ] they same as hell boy anchor anchors on them [ __ ] that funny as hell that ironic as a [ __ ] you better watch yourself we know Tommy and Hill figure you he good as he good people he good as [ __ ] we out in N tuck Ernie box all that [ __ ] subar tomm good people good he got lean rymes for his [ __ ] fourth party yo yo he the largest H Honda dealership this side of the [ __ ] Mississippi dog that’s a fun uh you’re from Buffalo I’m from Buffalo yeah um where where you from I’m from champ Florida oh wow yeah oh man I like Tampa great we were just in Tampa a week ago yeah Sid Splitters yeah great show started there it’s best it is people uh people told me it was going to be the best club it was it’s great it’s yeah it’s really fun Tampa’s like the um like the [ __ ] Aunt who marries a rich guy yeah and like oh Auntie Sue who like had the story of like [ __ ] everybody in her gym and now she’s like no no no no no no I’m with Richard now and Richard owns like a large commercial construction company you have to like forget that like she had like a like she was the first we the first person in your family that you ever heard of having a yeast infection yeah um but it’s [ __ ] gorgeous like it’s really really I actually like go to St PE Clear Water hit the beach yeah it’s great hotels are like 2024 VIN numbers on them like we stayed in a hotel that was like 6 hours old yeah yeah oh oh oh it’s super new it’s like brand new like stickers on the every like stickers on the furniture they just built it it’s crazy it’s CRA it’s going to be a I think um Tampa slated to be like the third like a Nashville level like buildout yeah which will be interesting see what do you think about here real estate wise I feel like it’s falling off a cliff right now I it’ll be interesting to see like cuz I think you had it’s a is it a million people in Austin yeah it’s a million it’s a 997 I looked up this morning but um it’s that’s the size it’s five times the size of Providence uh I think you had a large influx but it’s nice I mean it feels like Los Angeles kind of it does like everybody’s here like it’s crazy I put my foot in the pond of like for like 5 Seconds like hey anybody here and they’re like I’m here I’m here I’m here I’m here everybody here like holy [ __ ] yeah like who why would you ever go to La uh I don’t I don’t know I mean I think people dig Texas for the tax loophole but I know if you get taxed on one you lose it on the other I never believe any like tax [ __ ] like no income tax you don’t pay the six well property taxes are crazy here too yeah so they’ll always find way fck yeah yeah they find a [ __ ] way they’re like oh we’re going to tax your C like how else would they make how else would they be taxing people like yeah there got to be something yeah it’s got to be something else I I mean I like it I think it’s like it’s worth it buying staying like lifestyle wise people seem like pretty they’re they’re I feel like people in Texas have this weird uh let me know if you guys think this is crazy but like like my waitress this morning like they’re all like really nice on the front it’s like all engine no transmission mhm yeah they’re like really nice on the nose but then they’re [ __ ] yes you know like the girl was like I was like can I get a too cup for my ice coffee and she was like yeah I’ll go get you a too Cup right now turns around takes another table and I was like no like I’m not northeaster so always like rushing get the [ __ ] cup and it happens like all the time down here dude I’m having a serious problem adjusting to how long everything takes to get yeah I’m like it’s a you got to be patient I’m like it’s a bagel it’s a bagel oh man it’s man but there’s Pro there’s steps to it you got you got to cut it in h yeah got in toaster remember to take it out of the toaster they hard up hard by itself the creep you got to put a smear I’m Jewish now I say shmear I got a little tiny Cowboy at yeah a little little tiny one yeah a little light blue and white tiny Cowboy talk to my friend me Austin is like so like techy and like it’s not like you know it’s not real taxi [ __ ] like I I don’t know I don’t really get that impression here it’s more like you said like La it’s just like a or Frat Boys and stuff too cuz there’s AIT the universities right there too there’s a lot of like Colley Vibes everywhere besides the Northeast has no sense of urgency to me like the north when you get used to the tempo of Boston New York Philly whatever it is when you’re anywhere else you’re like come on yeah that stuff and then then you look like a [ __ ] child molester when you start snapping your finger like it just goes over so poorly the rushy Northeast mentality of like are you [ __ ] you guys live like this yes how much extra time in a week do you have yeah dude I had an Uber driver he was going like 51 on like a 70 the other day and I was like is your car broken like is is that how you open is the engine going to fall out of this thing is just some meic guy just listening to music enjoying himself I’m like you realize you’re taking me over I’m not like trying to be you lean over him you shoot his foot with a crossbow to the pedal like it’s now you’re in trouble you got my hand over his shoulder yeah it’s it’s it is like that’s enough after a while you’re like how that’s what how long have you been down here I a month what yeah a month a month wow from you guys from New York wow holy [ __ ] how you set in I like it I we got a I got a place that’s like huge for like nothing and compared to my place in New York which was like a shoe box for a million do you get to rim a rat for 1,500 a month yeah I suck off a rat and you can’t suck off rats down here you can’t yeah you can’t jerk off any mice yeah you get cockroaches down here instead right rats are yeah a million spiders in our house I’m leaving them though cuz I’m afraid of the bugs I’m like I’m going to let them cook just let them do their thing yeah yeah they’re they’re they’re going through your [ __ ] right now they speak English the spiders yeah yeah look at this his [ __ ] underwear I’m going to stop I’m go I’m going to craw up his [ __ ] dick tip tonight [ __ ] swim in his dick ho spiders do do nice Deeds around the house for you they like people’s version of a nanny me eat the Flies me see two flies me eat the Flies catch him in me we looks a good guy meat the Flies for him he let me stay if I eat the bug let me stay no step on me me brother you not brush me out the way at the door yeah boy that fruit flyer on the banana did not even right boy to leave the banana for me trying to eat the banana be health I love the banana me boy and potassium can in his Supply there yeah he always say he got make banana bread but he not going make banana bread lion Young Lion they put it in a smoothie change the gicing de there go again talking about too much Gary Breer Gary Breer is that the guy who’s like shirt in like red and like eats food no he’s Dana White’s doctor the guy that you were talking about the other day that’s what I was thinking of which guy Andy Elliot oh Paul saladino Paul saladino the guy who just eats uh he’s always like shirtless in Costa Rica eating like a he eats [ __ ] guy he yeah he eats steak and papayas and that’s balls yeah eats like liver and mango just deep throats cow [ __ ] Every Other Day pineapple and a [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] men um and here’s the deal uh my glycemic index is actually 30% lower and you’re like what the [ __ ] am I doing yeah fing yeah that’s that’s wild man like Gary bre is the guy who told Dana White is like preaching how to change your life and then I saw a video on like how to change your life and it’s like well first start with $222,000 oh my God okay well it’s the Magic Johnson ha story yeah exactly he’s just injecting him with you know no he built these chambers that he spends like 12 minutes in every morning like an oxy then there’s a there’s an oxygen T chamber next to his uh treadmill and he walks in the treadmill with an oxygen mask on they’re trying to buy their way out of dying I mean there’s that guy who’s literally doing that the Brian reverse engineering guy like yeah he’s taking his own son’s blood and yeah all that stuff yeah he’s doing the PA Poundstone treatment he’s doing the PA pound Stone he’s wearing goofy shirts he wear silly shirts children trust me this works he does like a five minutes of Ball P Kling kids and doing oneliner he adopting children just to [ __ ] yeah that’s the secret that I got like that too I’m like that guy’s so boring the guy that wants to reverse engineer his life I’m like what what do you want another 200 years to do what bore the [ __ ] out of put women to [ __ ] sleep yeah dude I mean he got I think he caught like a half a rape accusation recently didn’t he oh the money went to his head yeah I think it all went to his you see the videos out of me he goes I’m going to live forever [ __ ] being a [ __ ] creep yeah I’ll do 20 in the can I don’t give a [ __ ] yeah I’ll [ __ ] break out 3,000 I can make myself to me be liquid 5 to 10 something like that like an exgirlfriend was like he took advantage of me he took my blood while I was asleep he’s ringing her tampons out in his mouth he’s like got to shut the door like a mouthful of tampons shut the door it’s like he got caught with his fingers his out of his like filthy Brown tip you [ __ ] [ __ ] you’re going to ruin me it’s calling his dad it just says Dad ringing I don’t want to die just I want to live cotton period blood yeah I think that would help yeah I I mean I do you do any do you do any of these silly things exercise and eat right dude I I do nothing I I I go to like the cry I do this thing like last year when we started to like work a little bit I was like I can’t keep [ __ ] drinking like a [ __ ] complete degenerate and then trying to wake up and do like video shoots for World piece 2 and I was like I’m going to be a mess I have to like buy my way out of this and I started buying like the [ __ ] hyperbaric chamber [ __ ] I think it’s all [ __ ] snake oil [ __ ] the saas are good but son helps do you do the ice I don’t I do the the cryo chamber so it’s really cold 3 minutes yeah it freezes your snots and shites like moisture in your eyebrows and stuff it’s kind of cool but you feel any different you don’t feel any different that that one it’s got to be [ __ ] it’s a $600,000 [ __ ] microwave machine to sell to lesbians trying to like recreate their lives of like Health yeah I’m like you’re [ __ ] fat [ __ ] like grilled like wood oven grilled pizza lady like what do you know about how to freeze herself between pies yeah a big a belly full of blueberries Mar young groy comedians here everybody’s cool but like you see them like in the morning and they’re like doing the cold plunge and then they’re like up and they’re like running with like a a gas mask on or whatever these things are I’m like you were doing coke till 4 in the morning last I’m like you liter trying what you running from running from something yeah is your [ __ ] the voicemail from your father if he could see what you did last night like running chasing you like in a van like Mickey like I got an Uber home from the club last night your pupils were fully dilated at 4 in the morning and you woke up 4 hours later like got to Coal plunge dude got to plung got PL for sure holistic [ __ ] in La was like is like the first when you realize like these are just like trust fun kids like spending their like buying kangan water things one of my like broke rich friends in La this kid was just like a cool drug friend of mine he was like yeah I bought a kangan Waterfield it was like $6,000 and I’m like where the [ __ ] did you get six grand he’s like my grandma used to own real estate in San Francisco and it all comes out you’re just like oh you’re like their disappointing drug addict [ __ ] bisexual son that’s like giving head at like an illuminary festival or something you’re reading your third poem drinking $6,000 water it’s the water that’s what’s [ __ ] me that’s that’s what’s [ __ ] me I got to get I got to get something got to get something going the pH fake melodrama over their health like you don’t even want to live I don’t know it’s a specific kind of anxiety I feel like I know lots of people with that they’re like I need to only eat this only do this only and like their life the rest of their life’s falling apart I’m like this is the one part you can control you just like put it all onto you know raw meat and mangoes or whatever yeah yeah put put all your uh PTSD into the papayas ex you’ll forget that you gave your boy head when you were nine like it’s okay dude a lot of it turns out a l i was moled and then as soon as you say that out loud three times in the mirror like you just you put the water filter back you’ll [ __ ] sell the stupid hey kangan what’s going on man yeah turns out a lot of people blew their friends I didn’t know yeah dude I I [ __ ] just like out of my mind over this [ __ ] for years and anyway what’s your return policy on this thing yeah exactly return it at the moment get over it bro molested oh and the guy on the phone’s like whoa hey Bra we got another one yeah some guy realized it’s not gay to get your dick sucked by your uncle [ __ ] happens oh [ __ ] yeah they got a pile of them [ __ ] yeah that’s that’s kind of I feel like U like a lot of the cities that you know the New York and Ellies are propped up on uh you know the fake the fake Melo drama yeah they love that it’s also like like uh yeah politics within like social groups or whatever like people act like they’re part of some unique interesting community and it’s like dude you guys are all you know whatever it’s like you’re all pretending to be models while your parents pay for everything that yeah that’s tough to swallow if you’re like a if you’re coming from a poor it’s very like Jesus like you’re not your dad came here I saw him he had a [ __ ] a lot of they got a breion jacket on it’s like a $3,000 [ __ ] pair of socks and uh I don’t believe a word you’re saying about yeah but my parents are Indian it’s like who cares it’s worse you I knew I didn’t like you now I now I get out get yeah what yeah they make him with blue eyes now what the [ __ ] he’s got blonde hair for Christ’s sake bleaching himself I should have known when he did the Indian Joker thing yeah that’s why his name is Sundar damn it I’ve never met a white suar Sunny like some kind of [ __ ] [ __ ] he went by sunny sunny Crockett or something son of a [ __ ] [ __ ] a son of a [ __ ] never coming over my house that’s his new [ __ ] damn sure yeah yeah yeah the the crazy trust fun kid thing is wild it’s it’s insane you meet people who’s like Dad yeah my dad owns milk he just owns all the milk milk come from milk one title yeah textiles textiles just cloth of any variety that just shirts this kind of stuff yeah you know this kind of stuff you know this kind of [ __ ] I get yeah I make a penny per sale of anything with cloth yeah you mean them I got Carl Carl Sal Saltine right here like the crackers oh you Onin ketchup nice to meet you got you yeah Danny cheit good to meet you man it’s a family business Cisco nice meet you K Kate Cracker Jack cool the philan be the dumbest [ __ ] that they’re super rich for too it’s the stupidest things you’ve ever heard it’s like you know like oranges like you know how you used to buy oranges they’d be like whole like my dad sliced them oh sliced oranges yeah they have like 1840s Pat money yeah it’s worth $700 million yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah right and it’s like oh he owns the Phillies it’s crazy C craft Robert Craft’s granddaughter my buddy’s gonna get mad at me for saying this again but uh why who cares Robert Craft’s a [ __ ] [ __ ] he is a [ __ ] he’s a let down of no owners are good yeah but Robert Craft is the worst owner of all time now I why because Robert Craft was hugging Meek Mill at Reuben Michael Reuben’s the white white party I have a photo of him being hugged by Robert Craft who’s wearing an orange bubble jacket and Jordan’s Jesus get the [ __ ] out of here Bob Craft you [ __ ] loser who gets jerked off at an Asian massage parlor that’s a ion who’s driving a Rolls-Royce cinin to a strip mall po like a Philippines hand job it’s so funny to imagine Robert Krab going to a rubbing tub dressed like Fredro star it’s like I’d like to get jerked I’d like to get jerked off it’s Fredro star he’s a rapper like he wear like big bubble big puffer jackets yeah he’s got gold teeth in he’s trying to disguise himself he looks like a [ __ ] yeah jerk my [ __ ] I’m fa to come is he he’s what does he sound like just an old just an old man [ __ ] loser granddaughter’s doing comedy dude I can’t I can’t wait to meet her dude you should book her guys you guys should book her and then I do the Bob Craft being a [ __ ] [ __ ] bit where I think he would literally got caught getting a hand job to Mas the fact that he’s a big [ __ ] homo yeah you think so yeah like he’s like might as well put the story out where I get jerked off by [ __ ] lady boys I mean I mean full-on big titted pink [ __ ] ladies yeah chicks I love [ __ ] I [ __ ] run red lights for like like me I run red lights you remember when me Mill was tweeting that he runs red lights for [ __ ] who f d but that’s how G that’s how not gay is that’s how not gay bro seriously I’ll skip a I’ll skip a lunch meeting for [ __ ] man I don’t even give a [ __ ] man bro I’ll jaywalk for some [ __ ] I’m crazy man you want know how straight I am I pay parking tickets for [Music] [ __ ] yeah man I don’t even have a handicap sign man I park a handicap spot I need to go I me cuz that [ __ ] there are no like good owners other than you know obviously Mark the Raiders Guy the one that looks like the shucky dog oh he’s great the yeah what’s his name yeah Mark something um Davis not Mark Davis he’s getting hot blondes pregnant knocked up right now so cool yeah he’s man I think he’s the a problem he’s a [ __ ] who’s the bill I actually asked this Terry Pula good guy bad guy sucks really Pula oil legit oil tycoon but just runs a team like [ __ ] won’t fire the C coach he loves the coach cuz they bond over their faith I’m like that’s not what’s important that’s so they’re like super Catholic both of them something like that I mean Pula sounds Italian it does he’s air cath no he’s a weird creepy old white guy with an Asian wife I he doesn’t seem never trust him Yeahs you can’t trust the guy with an Asian wife so we used to say that’s the guy that’s your way of telling your friends you’re a pedophile hey L you want to come in here and no man [ __ ] we’ve been for years you kidding me right now she’s 4 foot6 just waddling in she’s walking out of a crate crowbar packing peanuts got a receip on her wrist that would that would be a good way to come out of the closet as Jewish is to come in with an Asian wife like yeah she’s on your back she’s having fun that Jewish you got Jewish guys love it Asians really oh I didn’t know that this a big new oh hello hello you look lovely you know every Christmas I go to Chinese food and I’ve been of you I bought you this Penny one time I a nickel me darling I I swear it doesn’t bother me that the vagina sideways I like the sideways [ __ ] I prefer it to it’s more it’s an Innovative style of [ __ ] really who said it should go upright why not my friend sh sh sh’s got fat can it’s sideways you’re 17 we’re having fun okay I’m sideways you’re side Michael Richards what’s the word I’m thinking of take it away Michael take it away Michael [ __ ] in your ass he rolls in on roller blades yeah have a [ __ ] fork in your ass you got to love Michael Richard you got to love Michael Richard dude he got an interview in like Rolling Stone and recently right like he wrote a book something the title over it like the picture of him on the cover Rolling Stone or time or whatever he’s like I messed up that’s so funny like 20 years later to be like dude that was that was whoops days what if he went the other way cuz you know what I’m I’m not I’m fine I said it yeah I’m I’m going to say it more yeah yeah I just joined this new thing it’s called the clan it’s great I love it um yeah no rolling stone is the worst publication of all time they’re bad oh they’re brutal Hastings you guys ever heard the story about Michael Hastings he’s the guy who like called his wife and he was like Hey listen if I die in the next like 24 hours then they found him crash the car car uncharred beer cans ni SL55 SL silver 07 SL55 which is a drrive by wire car which is the one like they killed Princess Diana that anyway the car was driving so fast it was like an ANH level speed level and he died and then there were uncharred beer cans next to him and they like basically buried their head in the sand on it and everybody was like terrified of them yeah Rolling Stone’s an oddly bad public it’s odd how like we’re rock and roll yeah that’s how they started right it was it was like a rock magazine yeah it was like a music publication I mean it’s the furthest thing from that yeah it’s just nothing yeah MTV itself it’s all the same thing they all become like some fake weird thing yeah it’s very like teen voguish now yeah it’s it’s gay so you’re supposed to give a [ __ ] about like Jojo siwa or something all these weird stars that like no one knows their names from dance stars or something or whatever yeah the Molester Stars yeah they’re all they’re all really good at uh muffling they’re really good at uh not screaming too loud through the a hand yeah at five now for the talent portion I will scream quietly through a hand that’s them screaming at their parents getting in a van while they leave and drop them off at arill like I don’t want to be a sexy child too [Laughter] late she hit every note Let’s Just Dance for that’s dance bombs Nickelodeon and that’s old yeah that was my favorite episode of global guts some little twink you know the price you pay for greatness it’s just Legends of the Hidden Temple yeah yeah you want a piece of the aggro CAG listen dog I’m going to get it through the inside of your [ __ ] guts sucker and then the temples of the The Ledges of the Hidden Temple guys going to come out and stick Rock stick foam rocks up your you’re going to ride a bicycle off a ramp and then I’m going to give you a huffy 10 speed but beforehand I’m going to let the guys from the Legends of the Hidden Temple take pictures of your [ __ ] they just pop out of a coffin yeah I like when they were like they grab them you’re surprised you’re like what the [ __ ] is this they like you think we have this Temple we’re not [ __ ] kids in it was real a three line we buil the temple we’re not going to use the temp we we got a temple that’s a temple nobody can get inside it’s it would be funny if like all the guys who got got busted for like uh you know raping all the [ __ ] like Harvey Weinstein played one of the temple guards or something like that I one credit to my name just this [ __ ] freak blob coming out of the temple he’s wearing a suit yeah he’s wearing a suit he’s got his like weird fake penis on you know he had like a ball in his thigh I think he had a ball in his thigh testical or lymphatic drainage yeah yeah they had to like put like a [ __ ] thing in his thigh because he [ __ ] his [ __ ] up so much I don’t know what they did I think it was his literally his testicle I heard his dick look like an ant hill yeah poor Jennifer Hudson or what’s her name Jennifer Love hu love hu no I wish no no I wish [ __ ] her no Lawrence Jennifer Lawrence yeah she’s so cool she was everybody’s bro chick just totally ruined by she did nothing wrong other than being like I like Pringles and everyone’s like you’re a [ __ ] [ __ ] we hate you now all she did was try to be quirky for like 5 minutes and they’re like you’re a dumb and we hate you yeah and everybody knew she sucked the side of his pyramid shaped [ __ ] definitely his ant hill [ __ ] that was that was rough to watch yeah they all have bad [ __ ] these guys you got the egg the women are fully down for it you’re like that is commitment you do want it more you want it you want to succeed want it more than I would you want to suck his pyramid [ __ ] I mean like you want to be a famous actress that’s commitment to the craft can you imagine like a like a well like Chris Brown’s lawyer [ __ ] him when he was 14 or something like that that was one don’t want to molested by his lawyer when woman lawyer but like imagine if she like pulled her [ __ ] out and it was like go ahead and it was like covered in like bug skitter sounds and naggs like like what I mean I’ll [ __ ] you but like what the [ __ ] is that looks like a broken beer bottle covered in maggots just mold from the basement yeah oh it hurts it’s raw pull scabs on oh God eat it it’s the only way I’m got to [ __ ] C he’s like double your pleasure double your fun for the right one locking his head and you want double man good dance he’s incredible how did Weinstein mess his dick up was he just he was in first you jer no dick pills and then eventually you get so into dick pills that dick pills don’t work anymore and then you do injections and you have to put it into your [ __ ] and he like gang greened his [ __ ] with the you know like he absessed his [ __ ] insane to be a nonp porn star who’s taking dick injections I mean he [ __ ] dude finger them fat like Kiss Kiss just kiss them no man smooch So Gone Like healthwise too like he was just a freak blob like his [ __ ] stopped working a long time ago you know what I mean and then you just get in too deep he looks brutal I mean he’s a horrific you think he’s getting out no I I actually heard about this recently cuz I thought I was like oh it was the Mist trial but that was only in New York he was still found guilty in California okay so he still has to do like 16 or 20 or something like that in California but the one in New York got totally which is like it was crazy what that judge did he’s a piece of [ __ ] for what he what did he do the judge the reason why I uh became a Mist trial is because the judge encourag witnesses to talk about things that weren’t relevant to the case that’s like why would you do that whoa and that’s why it’s almost like they’re all connected somehow but anyway you guys are good at these I the the you guys are really good on on conspiracies oh what we know them yeah you know all the good ones I like that that’s good that’s good he’s going to get out now did you ever has anyone found I I I would pay I don’t have a lot of money but I would pay $4,000 for that sex tape with the uh the crypto guy and that dork ass fat girlfriend is oh Sam S bankman freed Sam bankman freed and his dorky ass girlfriend who doesn’t want to see that sex she looks like Woody Allen she’s just sneezing my we’re ripping them off so hot we’re ripping them off we’re ripping them off oh oh God can you another Aderall for my night you look around her is perfect she’s gorgeous yeah she’s wicked good at sex and she’s just beautiful like her body is just perfect yeah like she looks like a frumpy like [ __ ] librarian she takes her clothes off she’s got perfect hits and a nice yeah they have a yeah they were living on like an island or like a big Community right of like billionaire billionaires [ __ ] each other doing like polyamorous group sex in the Bahamas stolen crypto money Tom’s money Super Bowl ring just getting eaten out how much did he lose on like 30 just a bunch of like Dy looking Jews with stolen Bitcoin money in the Bahamas being like can you believe this we were sucking each other off on other people’s dimes just and there I come again and I just came again uh can anyone else want another coconut juice that is we need to fuel up for tonight fellas yeah I mean I threw my back out last night and [ __ ] frumpy over here dumps over there yeah she was probably I mean I can’t wait till that I wish more of the sex tapes came out I’m tired of seeing like body cams of like Tiger Tiger Woods body cam vikin was one of my favorites yeah the DUI the DUI I love that the like certain like if you got a DUI tonight I would never find the [ __ ] axium body cam yeah yeah but like tomorrow like Shannon sharp will get caught giv like roadhead yeah you know they’ll find it like immediately that would be awesome hey what’s going on play I don’t thuck your dick to tell you how much time I got I I suuck your dick to how you valuable my time is SK skip still skip it out skip let me see it skip the bigger the better yeah what I do on my own time it’s my own time you look at the axium body date it’s yesterday’s date it’s like 68 wearing those big glasses the Jon Jones Body cam footage is pretty funny because he was driving around drinking mascala out of the bottle doing donuts in his car and shooting his gun in the air and the cops pulled him over he’s like how you doing officers how are you he’s like so calm pleasure to see it he like the craziest night was that just in a parking lot it was just in Albuquerque where he lives he was just doing donuts in his car shooting his gun out the window I mean the guy can’t I love people who shoot their guns out of the window I’ve I’ve seen ever see someone do that I’ve seen I’ve had the the rap night of a world piece one uh one of the kids that was working on the staff um I don’t want to say his name because he’s a great guy but uh where it was me another guy that worked on the show one I think one of the network Executives was in his pickup truck he was kind of like a well-to-do kid yeah uh who was in production like I just want to say thanks Nick been really cool the whole time welcome to Atlanta takes out his handgun empties the clip while driving with the executive in the car and I was like holy [ __ ] dude just in downtown Atlanta like kind of like from driving from decar back to Atlanta to the house and I was like wow bro like that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do but Jon Jones is good it was cool it was kind of like you rule buddy good for him was it uh he got Coke possession or something or did he just did he go back and get it or something he was doing coke the whole week weekend before his fight and he said that he used to do that before almost every fight to give himself the excuse of if I lose it’s because I was partying all weekend oh Jesus but he would just get [ __ ] yaked out of his mind and then go kick someone he’s all depressed like Coke depressed F I don’t feel like it just snaps your neck he’s so cranky [ __ ] [ __ ] off [ __ ] Brothers in the NFL isn’t he you totally CTE out to he’s nuts Channel yeah him and brown are [ __ ] he’s full ab yeah yeah I like I like them burying all that [ __ ] poor bastards right the nflpa just like trying to like Junior SE shooting himself in the heart oh yeah and kind [ __ ] Aaron Hernandez oh yeah Junior yeah he was gay yeah what yeah he got Steve he got CTE into sucking coog is what happened yeah yeah he got CT right to a [ __ ] funny T many head shots turned him gay is that how it works okay I guess I’m [ __ ] all you guys after this yeah I play kickoff team so I’m that guy was [ __ ] 15 yard penalty killed that guy near comedy club in Boston yeah Nick’s comedy stop wasn’t it at that place so he bumped into a guy at Nick’s comedy stop Nick’s comedy stop was turned into a nightclub after it would do comedy every night I literally might have been there that night you’re lucky PA hey [ __ ] you you’re a [ __ ] you w even heard a fly [ __ ] you [ __ ] suck you [ __ ] routes are ugly as [ __ ] dog d i I literally probably would have done that cuz I saw I was drunk after a show there and I saw Hannibal burs and I was like hey what’s up Hannibal canb like man can you please leave me alone please leave me alone man can I open it for you hey man hey you upstairs cuz the Wilbur is upstairs like you’re upstairs I was downstairs how [ __ ] how funny is that do you guys are in the thing [ __ ] box is dragging me out of here go again he’s like I don’t want to talk to you man yeah dude I don’t [ __ ] with this guy man yeah I would go up to a run around on me I lock you down come on yeah he here blows you blows your dead body shoots you dead yeah sucks this is good sucks you off he has to shoot him at you know before so that’s what everyone talks about he’s a gay necrophiliac yeah but like I I like them like burying I mean we think this is typic I mean you had OJ Simpson for CH second in Buffalo and um I mean he was a celebrity in Buffalo that was adored until the day he died and really dude the juice would be out in the town multiple friends of mine have pictures with the juice dude just be bar hopping in Buffalo and people be like oh Jay take pict it’s as if the murders never happen yeah yeah they or they hated Nicole Brown Simpson so much like I actually went to her restaurant she was a [ __ ] [ __ ] Ron Goldman was a cocky tennis [ __ ] he hit tennis balls at me when I was a little kid it’s Buffalo so depressing who do you think they care more about are like best football player of all time or [ __ ] Ron Goldman yeah clearly that’s why Buffalo’s great why Buffalo stick to their guns yeah dude that’s [ __ ] I mean I got someone at Tampa at the Sid spitter show gave me an autographed OJ Simpson Jersey nice I don’t know why he played in Tampa is a funny thing a weird didn’t he start in Tampa no he played in Tampa at some point didn’t he maybe I think his I remember in the creamsicle fits you know the orange he probably played for the bucks I think I think he did but I don’t know I think he was probably just cracking Chris Jenner’s [ __ ] wide open did you ever hear that story no she’s Chloe Kardash that he’s Chloe Kardashian’s dad oh they say that she’s the dad but they say that that it’s not a true thing they say dude if you see a side by side she’s got the same Moon head as OJ yeah she does same she’s got kind [ __ ] up looking one yeah yeah okay now she looks like a hot chick because of like modern science yeah she no she looks like yeah she looks like an experiment yeah she’s an Armenian uh she’s an Armenian Gypsy spell yeah yeah exactly with a fat ass thinner or whatever yeah yeah she does that coke and OIC and you think if you saw those chicks in person they’d look weird I think they’d look kind of creepy like weird they do I mean have you been to Miami it’s like dude like picture like you see a picture of like that’s the hottest girl I’ve ever seen and then you’re like oh she’s like photoshopped her own face in you know in reality like to pre-o it for Instagram I’d rather die than uh like a Kardashian but my wife bumped into uh Kendall who’s the the little boy one yeah we were at the Beverly Hills Hotel one time getting a brunch and my wife like bumped her shoulder and she was kind of hung over and she was like the [ __ ] out of my way and uh which is really fun to do I uh I used to like to say that to celebrities like get the [ __ ] out of my way like cuz they they always get like oh my God can you [ __ ] move dude and [ __ ] off will will Arnette I told him to get the [ __ ] out of he like were like standing in the door and I was like can you get the [ __ ] out of my way man and he was like what the [ __ ] is this you do about it have a drink [ __ ] are you going to do about it that’s the best policy let him hit you you’re going to be a millionaire like hit be rude and biger [ __ ] de celebrities why did you treat Amy polar like that she’s a [ __ ] American treasur you see your early work on Conan you [ __ ] creep how dare you yeah she was so [ __ ] organically funny she literally bucked a trend about women aren’t funny yeah dumb [ __ ] anyway get out of my way I want to cough you and Jonah H that’s a people should torture celebrities in public yeah they should not comedians movie act just like yeah yeah yeah aist [ __ ] with them who cares right that’d be great I’d love to sack tap Jude Jude Law that’ be great excuse me did you just shck tap me you [ __ ] shck tap me the balls the bollocks on this guy you’re all right man yeah I don’t like you ni you’re [ __ ] you Jude yeah [ __ ] you sack dude tap it again Jude what has Jude Law even done that’s ever been good I don’t even remember just [ __ ] hot housewives all over he’s hot yeah he’s a good looking guy girls uh I like I like uh thinking about celebrities [ __ ] just normies like Normie like kind of chunky Jim was telling me that the celebrity chicks like some of the A-list chicks have like agreements with their husbands and they would Uber up the Tik Tock dudes to [ __ ] them in their houses like with those tick tocker little like twinky hot kids they would have them come up to the hills and [ __ ] him like some of these aess act like Christen Cavalier [ __ ] the Cowboy Kid kind of yeah wow something like that I love [ __ ] like that cowboy kid like uh Kristen C Christen cavalary yeah she’s [ __ ] the cowboy the kid’s like like [Music] this somehow her [ __ ] got soaking wet and she was like I want that kid to eat I want to eat his [ __ ] all over me like I don’t know I how strange of like a thing to Yeah Tim was tell me these these like hot little twink shredded [ __ ] kids from Tik Tok would be like bro dude seriously I [ __ ] Jennifer Anderson dude pretty lit sign an NDA can’t talk about it but pretty lit it happened that is pretty it’s pretty cool I saw Julia Styles at uh the whole foods that I was at and I thought I had a shot but I was married so I was like but then my my wife told me that my my her brother met him and he thought he had a shot so apparently jul Styles is easy yeah the closest I’ve gotten to that was Kyrie Irving’s sister to brick a fre get your little ass over her you Scrump how you look delicious he looking good tonight to good as hell so you [ __ ] her all night I didn’t [ __ ] all I just thought I had a shop she used to come into the restaurant work Kylie IR she’s a babe yeah oh I’m sure Kyrie Irving’s good huh I’m not a big basketball guy Kyrie Irving good though if you’re like if you don’t watch basketball he’s the most fun one he’s if you watch it he’s the most fun one to watch but he’s a good entry entry player he’s like John Daly for non-golfers yeah like you just you don’t like golf but you like you gotta love John he’s like you know he’s like Michael Vic like if you didn’t watch football you’d go watch this guy you’re going to have the most fun out oh yeah he’s like Michael Vic yeah he’s going to get 218 yards a game and uh you know go 17 for 46 but uh he right in the middle there he’s going to throw a pitbull in the ground as hard as possible yeah on the sidelines he’s going to SU suplex a pit he’s going to kick a dog right in the middle of the rib saying anybody anus CU PES bite children what an insane case that was Mike Vic he just like paused his career for several years cuz he just couldn’t stop fighting dogs just loved it so much dogs got me good man man look them dogs in my heart though P get to the heart we were talking about this on the stream the other night and I think the only video I’ve ever seen of mik dick is him picking up a dog over his head in like the craziest way and just throwing it on the ground is this real yeah there is video he was a grank spiking pit yeah like which is just like even if you want to abuse dogs even for even as a dog guy likes to that’s a pretty crazy way to from one dog abuser to the next listen you can kick him in the head you can shoot him with pallet guns stomp on their feet dude he was s little [ __ ] he was swinging them around like terrible towels dude the wall it was [ __ ] up easy Mike yeah he come on Mike that dog was good that was a good dog oh [ __ ] I didn’t know I thought they be lock though I get locked up I thought they be Lo though man that’s legit the best fighter in my K and you just done shot him out of a potato gun man you stuffed them puppies into a t-shirt can There He Go There He Go There stuffing puppies in the T-shirt can scratching weave that’s [ __ ] Wild let yeah Michael [ __ ] your whole [ __ ] up throwing cockerels like man I had a pitbull man a couple years back man he was winning every Fight Man Mike [ __ ] Mike baked him into a pumpkin PT this shit’s crazy man come outside mik put the [ __ ] in the engine mik shut in the goddamn car hood on my [ __ ] on my my cocker spaniel I got hit with a spike back I was wearing I was wearing a fur coat [ __ ] Mike come out got my dogs hide straight up skinned in my driveway that’s Arthur Blank the owner of the falcon slay that [ __ ] up like a deer bro [ __ ] first dog that’s strange he ripped the guts out like a hater man he play Dirty Mike Play Dirty Man yeah Mike play that’s the best dog I ever had fighting out there man Mike Mike fed him Listerine Mike go ahead go ahead give him date rape drug go ahead hit him in the head with a with a title with a title Mike really my best P you going to give him GHP really Mike here we go look at my dog walking around all look at who dick he can suck going hit hit him with a R1 title as driver his motor function there but he going he going mry any day so Mike’s on his way here right now where’s the dog sh Canon full of pup comes with the window with a [ __ ] gun to his say something else say something else say something else I’m like I don’t [ __ ] dog you keep talking you’re talking to a fellow animal abuser dog kill the [ __ ] dog I don’t give a [ __ ] hey between I hate them too yeah I don’t like them I have cont I have a [ __ ] break dancing contest on how to [ __ ] that dog up right now I hate bit one of them tried to bite my kid’s lower mandible at a park one time trust me I got no mercy I always say that to people with their dogs and I’m like oh he bites the mandible of the children that’s so funny he bites the mandible of the child like a and they latch on and they rip the jaw off the child so they have only top teeth and like it’s bad it’s really bad I saw a girl on Tik Tok with that from a pit yeah her whole upper lip she gone now she has this big like skin graft of a lip he like 6,000 a year 6,000 times a year that happens yeah yeah there’s a lot of dogs in Austin Austin’s dog City yeah they love they dog dog City everyone has a dog if you have five hotel five dogs in a hotel when you check in it’s like a dog City I’m like [ __ ] here Denver’s a big dog City Salt Lake they those like I don’t like that crunchy dog thing I’m like can WEA like I love dogs as much as the next guy but like they assume they just take it every I think that’s why there’s so much outdoor [ __ ] is like people want to take their dogs every dude I was sticking out down the Pao Salt Lake I was sticking out like a sore thumb in that town dude really I went to like a brewery my cousin was living there I went to a brewery everybody there is like dressed like an LL Bean model and they have like they’re like perfectly manicured big beards beard oil guys yeah beard oil guys a thr beanies and beard oil they he’s got a rivan yeah pick up like turquoise and there’s like 38 golden retrievers on the patio and I’m just like coming in with like a fade hair cut and I’m like wearing a bomber jacket I’m screaming I’m like what’s on the menu I’m yelling who brought poly d [ __ ] you [ __ ] Joe peshy in town what [ __ ] yeah let me try the [ __ ] raspberry sour please dude they have the goofiest beers too oh yeah no they’re yeah it’s it’s dor Central let me try the Huckleberry IPA that’s great the [ __ ] kind of Huckleberry Shuckle Muckle going on here [ __ ] you Jew [ __ ] are you Jews in Colorado [ __ ] Jew [ __ ] they just think the Mormons are Jew yeah they can’t [ __ ] special underwear juice special underwear what are you soaking what are you doing you [ __ ] busy you’re so AR you just [ __ ] like I [ __ ] Sher Stone in the constru half of one is the funnyest only half when I put my dick in a girl’s [ __ ] I shake it I shake it off I get my friend under the B kicking it I got Angelo to push my butt cheeks in and out come on I know you’re busy you kicked the bed one [ __ ] I’m trying to make her come over here you don’t just put it in you cut a hole in the bed sheet first with all these hot hot Mormon girls yeah if Italian soaked marinade I got to get my mother under e there my mother’s going to kick the bed my beautiful Nona is going to kick the bed my non not’s going to be shaking it up you [ __ ] lay there Angeline lay there don’t [ __ ] make a noise you want you need to focus on Nona what else is new she’s going to lay there and not make a [ __ ] noise until I buy her a pair of shoes she’s screaming from the [ __ ] mouth that do one [ __ ] par is brought of glasses I got a suck at the back side of my bull zag but then [ __ ] nine out of 10 times she’s laying there like a fish like this [ __ ] fish of seven dishes yeah that’s that’s definitely Luke you did gave you gave me the best Italian food that dude that Italian cold cuts you had Providence has great Italian oh we’re full Guinea bro oh w oh yeah seriously it’s it’s like a bowl of spaghetti it’s unreal some of the best Italian food I’ve had is yeah we give you I get the 36-month uh San Danielle Pudo where people say Parma and they’re like I’m like if you say Parma you don’t know the score quite frankly you don’t know the score if you got the govea now what’s a there’s a is it the Pudo there’s a salon the 30 if you can ever buy a Pudo you buy the 36-month as far out as you can a 24 or 36 in then Ys okay unreal yeah it’s good yeah talking about par ham though isn’t it yeah it’s ham it’s all like a cured meat it’s all the same Pudo and ham are yeah thought cured the thing they got the leg and the [ __ ] Vice fish nets on it yeah I was [ __ ] it I like goth girls I like go I like fish nets I rip them eat that [ __ ] kissing it I like the goth black fish put little slices in it yeah you had the yellow roasted I do like I used to do that run I had to stop doing it because I was getting I think my doctor was like yo why do you have a bad lymphatic drainage and I was like well here’s the thing Jennifer Lauren um my my [ __ ] looks like an an [Laughter] I’m addicted to celebrity [ __ ] celebrities and bragging about movie budgetting SE Allison in my dick one of dir close personal friend Quinton Tarantino told me what you do is you crawl on top and you suck their feet he’s a big foot guy tarantina loves a foot loves a foot Rex Ryan loves a foot yeah yeah Rex Ry oh Rex Ryan loves wasn’t he a buffalo was he a Jets guy he was Bill’s coach for one year did he do it in Buffalo though uh it was right after he got found with the foot video he came to us that was that was we got we got a cheap Rex Ryan we got a cheap foot got $130,000 Rex Ryan we got a one seon sex tape Rex Ryan holy [ __ ] yeah for about a third of the asking price damn yeah he cuz there’s a video leaked of him like sucking on feet his wife his wife was hanging her foot out of a car window yeah and he was being like I’m okay with whatever the [ __ ] you do in the bedroom that’s none of my [ __ ] business but buddy do not let why the [ __ ] did that leak was it on a highway he was like crawling around on all fours and like licking your toes out out of the side of the car window for some reason it was like a no coming back thing good Lord in the driveway it was yeah maybe a parked car foot out like that I remember and she was like shaking at I was like don’t you te te me with that P foot like oh God let me get him bigy it was it was bad as the shanon of axium footage it’s oo s oo oh hell no oo you about to come I know you ain’t about to come in my mouth oo thatp always get a little bigger when when you about to come oh damn I can feel the veins puling the blood to the tip I knew you going to come O come on come on come on man I make more money doing this [ __ ] [ __ ] than I ever made catching football I told you I’m pitching not catching o do me dick out of my ass might been a tight end but I was only in the lead I love I love sh sh he’s so good he’s exactly what the world needed i’ love him yeah cuz I can’t watch any more uh girls and Jewish guys talk to me about sports yeah I’ve had enough of that too ESPN ruined itself I know like first take you watch like NFL mornings yeah yeah it’s like Mike Greenberg and [ __ ] Rachel Nicholl I’m like all right let’s you guys never like if I threw a football at you you would like sue me yeah I wasn’t looking and he directly in my direction landed in my ear poral gave me an ear infection I need to move the headset to the other side he would like Naruto run to his Volo wagon you’re right there is something satisfying about just seeing a gigantic black man talk about football yeah that’s what you want yeah give me I mean he was the best ever too yeah he was an unreal tight give me a drunk degenerate Irish gambling addict yeah who knows a lot about football an Italian guy who who’s been betting his [ __ ] his decent job wages that have he’s never had a savings you can’t figure out why he’s on decent concrete forms company it wasn’t able to get finan on the GMC Denali that he really wanted because his debt to income ratio was so low and you’re like Uncle Tony why the [ __ ] don’t you have money you make money I know you make money you did my friend’s pool it was $36,000 job you had to make [ __ ] you had to clear 11 Grand he’s like it’s the [ __ ] Jets the Jets didn’t cover the spread they know he knows Ball but I don’t want to talk to like some like volleyball jock Dyke yeah I know you know it’s it’s ESPN ruined Disney came in Bob AA came in they bought ESPN and they ruined it and I I’ll never forgive them for ruining our sport our childhood Sports yeah Sports Center was a on repeat my house yeah they had it it was Scott V pela it was Great steuart Scot Scott rest in peace Stewart Scott and now we’re talking about [ __ ] clothes and [ __ ] sizes yeah I know and watching these corny like the the guys who would have done anything like those there’s like four of them and they always take like you it’s really funny to watch them what was it the draft and you watch like the dudes who are smart in the ESPN group that take the onfield jobs like you you can tell like they were like all right who wants to go to the draft we’ll put you up in a dope hotel and feed you all week and you’ll get drunk with superstars yeah and they’re like I’ll do it and they’re like it’s like them like wearing like I have a goofy hat on bro you you did math in college what are you talk you did like your Jonah Hill and Moneyball just just too many of those and it’s like I’m not watching I love the draft I loved I loved football for what now it’s like It’s just tough to watch and then obviously watching Tom Brady be a lady during his roast was a little tough too for a pat well just the Robert CRA thing he start screaming yeah start screaming about Robert Craft that was odd that was odd y who so I forget who someone made a good joke about Robert CRA Jeff Ross Jeff Ross he was I really liked watch when came over and was like Whispering he said it was literally like Will Smith esque of of don’t say that [ __ ] [ __ ] again I’m like about Robert Craft you this sensitive about Robert CRA said you fck your son yeah exactly he’s like that’s he was blown out though on that thing about about his wife about his ex-wife getting [ __ ] by a Jiu-Jitsu yeah sure she did and he was like he was kind of pissy about that but yeah but here’s the thing though he went I like what did Tom Brady just do no you mean like right he’s like no I mean he Tom noing childood yeah he kind of has like a like a like a like a feminine Lord energy sort of he’s sort of like silence yeah be gone be gone with this waitress when you have another papay it was tough to watch he does have feudal Prince energy yeah yeah when you when the Patriots were hot you could go to a Patriots game and you could I used to say the joke that I used to run the bit was I was like just as many women in this [ __ ] um just as many men would suck Tom Brady’s dick as women in the stadium yeah yes like if there was a line they’re like all right this is the Tom Brady sucking dick line yeah um like you cut me yeah yeah you cut I can’t believe this guy’s cut me I’m I’ve been waiting for four [ __ ] hours try this gu trying to [ __ ] suck his car this guy got no [ __ ] Manis un [ __ ] believe there I go another waiting in line for another 4 hours cut in front of me I suck a [ __ ] Co I suck that Jujitsu guyu Jujitsu dude Boston’s got that Boston’s the first time I heard oxy voice you ever hear like a guy talking like this that’s a real like that’s very Boston the oxy voice so [ __ ] up on even talk that’s sad when you lean into Boston that’s that’s cuz Boston in when you live in New England yeah is like kind of corny like it’s like Washington DC yeah it’s like a flag waving well adjusted your parents are together you’ve never been molested kind of world like everybody’s fine your parents like have like an Envoy I mean I’m sorry like a brand new SLT Yukon like navy blue you played lacrosse you went to camps your life is fat your parents are college educated your uncle’s never touched your [ __ ] or dick you’re fine you grew up going to coffee shops in Brooklyn really like real wasp [ __ ] yeah like it’s true old Irish money like I they like I didn’t I grew up on the stop stop stop stop we know who does that kind of stuff I had a little tiny diamond Factory in Brooklyn they all made fun of my father for his little tiny diamond Factory in okay here we go with this [ __ ] so they do it in Boston so Boston’s always been like a cringey [ __ ] [ __ ] part yeah and like Rhode Island New Hampshire and Maine have been like the scum like the true scum yeah you know provin bunch of it’s all Italians like we’re yeah like it is Italy are you Italian no I’m French can I’m I’m French Canadian mil trash your name sounds French yeah it’s uh yeah so we suck dick for vikin yeah it means it means give head for vikin when you’re your bike to youro artist please please I need vad suck M there boy 14y old boy big Muses you biges you play Ross every french guy does sound like a pedophile no 100% I please I need penis little boy penis yeah they’re miserable pedophile they’re just as bad as anybody else the French yeah they’re just French can I I lived in the most French Canadian town in the United States where it was the only city in the country that had French on the ATMs my parents are from like Quebec yeah and like Montreal yeah they like all died of cancer in 1940 from like working in D Mills so like everybody’s teeth were falling out of their mouth and [ __ ] they can’t read yeah they’re fun but like yeah they’re they’re real like they’re almost cun yeah yeah it is it’s cun that’s what that’s what they call it likey [Laughter] a little boy Little M are you you you’re Italian you guys Italian I’m half French and then French here white you know yeah yeah uh just a mi mixed Dutch D ger uh you know my grandpa was like a New Yorker and he was like [ __ ] Norwegian and Italian and then my grandma was just like white trash like from uh hot piece of white trash ass that you ped yeah oh yeah she said her name yeah savan she talk like this she used to call everybody Little Flower she said Little Flower it’s all I can do I got a little titty tat right here let’s say a little flower that’s my little Daisy that’s you baby boy tell all your all it’s for all y’all shut up Grandma you got it all for on Virginia Beach you’re not deep you’re not yeah all right granny yeah enough stop showing me your tit yeah yeah please stop please this is this is over the line Jake how long we got hour 10 want to wrap yeah we can wrap things up dude you good you yeah great great episode for thank you guys for having us my sweatiest and Alive yeah absolutely you got anything to plug anything you want to yeah check out uh scuffed realtor Tuesdays and Thursday nights Live on YouTube shows on samh high live we’re doing standup uh the palace on Sunday nights on YouTube with Charles Carol um shamanic house is if you guys like antiques I’m a I’m a big gay antiques collector that doesn’t rip people off I’m wholesale to the public please buy rugs and Italian glass and polish art and Russian Art from me and ashtrays that I just made and if you want a real rug that’s investment grade I will give it to you and I won’t lie to you ever and Nick did give me an ashtray and it’s a beautiful ashtray and it’s held up it’s over there yeah see someone’s your aunt’s going to come in here and get [ __ ] soaked make sure hey Aunt can you wear khaki pants yeah why do you want me to wear khaki pants she comes and sees the astrays her khakis are soaked got you [ __ ] I need I need so much furniture and rugs and [ __ ] got you I’m going to look into it hit me up all wholesale and uh subscribe to the Pod you know the deal yeah you know the deal rough week thanks for listening to you guys love you stay blessed bye that was awesome dud you guys are funny