INJURY | Gaurav Kapoor | Stand Up Comedy

Once upon a time, I went to Gym and rest has been narrated in the video.
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UPCOMING INDIA USA CANADA UK & SCANDANAVIA TOUR

INDIA SHOWS

*Delhi 14th June* – https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/gaurav-kapoor-live/ET00317331
*Hyderabad 15th June* – https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/chaman-chatora-gaurav-kapoors-comedy-special/ET00389999
*Kolkata 16th June* – https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/chaman-chatora-gaurav-kapoors-comedy-special/ET00389999
*Gurgaon 22nd June* – https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/gaurav-kapoor-live/ET00317331
*Pune 23rd June* -https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/gaurav-kapoor-live-bengaluru/ET00331714?webview=true
*Mumbai 28th June* – https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/comedy-nights-ft-gaurav-kapoor-at-jio-world-drive/ET00396234
Bengaluru 29th June* – https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/gaurav-kapoor-live-bengaluru/ET00331714?webview=true
*Delhi 30th June* – https://in.bookmyshow.com/events/gaurav-kapoor-live-bengaluru/ET00331714?webview=true

USA & CANADA TOUR
*Chicago – 12th July* – https://sulekha.com/gauravkapoorlivechicago

*Boston – 13th July* – https://events.sulekha.com/gaurav-kapoor-live-in-boston-7-30-pm-show_event-in_newtonville-ma_373842

*DC – 14th July* – https://events.sulekha.com/gaurav-kapoor-live-in-washington-dc_event-in_washington-dc_373845

*Philadelphia – 19th July (5 PM)* – https://events.sulekha.com/gaurav-kapoor-live-in-philadelphia-5-00-pm_event-in_philadelphia-pa_375197
*Philadelphia – 19th July (7.30 PM)* – https://sulekha.com/gauravkapoorlivephiladelphia

*Detroit – 20th July* – https://events.sulekha.com/gaurav-kapoor-live-in-detroit_event-in_detroit-mi_373871

*New Jersey – 21st July 4 PM*- https://secure.nbpac.org/gauravkapoor/4pm
*New Jersey – 21st July 7 PM*- https://secure.nbpac.org/gauravkapoor

*Atlanta – 26th July* – https://my.lvilleartscenter.com/gaurav-kapoor

*Dallas – 27th July* – https://sulekha.com/gauravkapoorlivedallas

*Houston – 28th July* – https://sulekha.com/gauravkapoorlivehouston

*Phoenix – 1st August* – https://www.etix.com/ticket/p/32834694/gaurav-kapoor-live-tempe-tempe-center-for-the-arts-

*Los Angeles – 2nd August* – https://sulekha.com/gauravkapoorlivela

*Seattle – 3rd August (4 PM)* – https://events.sulekha.com/gaurav-kapoor-live-in-seattle-4-pm-show_event-in_bellevue-wa_374014
*Seattle – 3rd August(8PM)* – SOLD OUT – https://sulekha.com/gauravkapoorliveseattle

*San Jose 3.30 PM (Santa Clara) – 4th August* – https://events.sulekha.com/gaurav-kapoor-live-in-santa-clara_event-in_santa-clara-ca_373585
*San Jose 7.30 PM (Santa Clara) – 4th August* – https://events.sulekha.com/gaurav-kapoor-live-in-santa-clara-7-30pm-show_event-in_santa-clara-ca_373828

*New York – 18th August* – https://ci.ovationtix.com/209/performance/11458376

For RALEIGH show on 25th July – Send mail to gauravkapoorcomedy@gmail.com with “RALEIGH” as subject to get presale ticket link. We’ll send it asap. Probably within 7 – 10 days. Thank you 🙂
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*Calgary – 9th August* – https://www.thegrandyyc.ca/gaurav-kapoor-live

*Vancouver – 10th August* – https://tickets.bellperformingartscentre.com/TheatreManager/1/login?performance=1605

*Edmonton – 11th August* – https://www.vtixonline.com/gaurav-kapoor-live-in-edmonton/4196/

*Winnipeg – 13th August* – https://www.vtixonline.com/event.php?event_id=4307

*Regina – 15th August* – https://www.eventcreate.com/e/gklive?refcode=gk

*Kitchener – 16th August* – https://secure1.tixhub.com/waterloo/online/b_otix.asp?cboPerformances=741&cboEvent=357&width=2378

*Toronto – 17th August 3 PM* – https://www.vtixonline.com/gaurav-kapoor-live/4136/
*Toronto – 17th August 7.30 PM* – https://www.vtixonline.com/gaurav-kapoor-live/4136/

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UK & SCANDANAVIA TOUR

*Manchester – 24th August* – https://buytickets.at/thecomedycornershop/1211384/r/ma3gkig

*London – 25th August* – https://buytickets.at/thecomedycornershop/1211388/r/londongkig

*Copenhagen – 30th August* – https://tinyurl.com/GauravKapoorDK

*Oslo – 31st August* – https://www.ticketly.eu/Event.aspx?eventId=38865

*Stockholm – 1st Sept* – https://tinyurl.com/GauravKapoorSE

*Slough – 7th Sept* – https://buytickets.at/thecomedycornershop/1211417/r/sloughgkig

*Glasgow – 8th Sept* – https://buytickets.at/thecomedycornershop/1211418/r/gleeglasgowgkig

Shot and recorded by The Habitat Team at a live standup comedy event.
To know more about such live shows: https://www.instagram.com/indiehabitat
Live Producer: Balraj Singh Ghai
The Habitat Audio Team:
Yash Rajiv Barse: https://www.instagram.com/yashrajivbarse
The Habitat Video Team:
Arbaaz Nasser:
https://instagram.com/arbaaznasser
Sakshat Shetty:
https://instagram.com/sakshatshetty24
Post Production & Editing: Neona Films
Sound Mixing & Mastering: Mukul

Friends, this is about an event that happened 3 years ago When I went to Ludhiana for a show The show was at 6 in the evening And at 4, I got a sudden urge I decided to hit the gym first And then do the show I went to the hotel gym And saw a poster of a muscular guy It was one of those motivational posters But it felt like he was staring at me And it had "never give up" written on it I looked into his eyes And said the same thing I never even started… Today is my first day here I opened the door and went inside The gym had a lot of different posters Posters of various exercises were displayed, right? I don’t know what happened, ma’am, But my eyes fell on the lunges Do you guys know lunges? Do you guys know what lunges are? Where you have to spread your legs and go down I hope you understand And let’s not go for such a low hanging fruit joke… You basically have to stretch your legs and go down… And lunges are a great exercise But it should not be the first exercise Those who go to the gym, brothers and sisters They would know it shouldn’t be the first exercise, right? Bro, none of this crossed my mind… I didn’t do any warm-up, nothing I just spread my legs straight away And you’ve heard that saying "When destruction is near, the intellect works against you" Bro, I picked up 2×10-kilo dumbbells I picked up the dumbbells Spread my legs And went down Got stuck there A sound came out of my body like a crack… And my soul said, "You’ve messed up big time." I honestly felt like I would live at the Radisson Ludhiana for the rest of my life They’ll put up a statue of me here I’ll be kept in the gym as a welcome man Whenever anyone comes to the gym I’ll tell them, "Hey brother, the 10-kilo dumbbells are there, And the 5-kilo ones are over there." No bro, seriously, I was in a bad state They’ll ask me, "Since when have you been here?" "Brother, I’ve been hanging here since 2022."" I live here I swear I was looking at the CCTV To see if someone would come to save me Or if everyone had just left Bro, I know it took me about 15-20-30 minutes To reach my hotel room all crooked and bent And I was going crazy with pain I was going mad And I have to perform the show in 1.5 hours I said I will definitely do the show because I have taken the advance payment I don’t like to refund then So that day I searched for a physiotherapist in Ludhiana I thought showing it to a physiotherapist would fix it Ma’am, that day I don’t know what Conclave was going on for physiotherapists Not a single physiotherapist was available, brother Couldn’t find anyone… With great difficulty, found one on Practo I called her, ma’am, are you at the clinic? She asked me to come over I checked Practo again Is it Practo that I opened, right? Or has Justdial opened? I said ma’am, "physiotherapy" Not any other therapy She said come over, we provide that service I said okay, fine, I’ll come then There was no other option Went to her clinic It was a physiotherapy clinic only… It was a proper physiotherapy clinic But the main ma’am there The main physiotherapist was not there Her two assistants were there And you guess yourself where I got hurt while doing lunges Anyone wanna take a guess Where one can get hurt while doing lunges? Audience: balls Where one can get hurt ? Audience: balls Balls? Audience: Eye balls? Eye balls? You mean balls right? Bro… They stay in the air… What kind of jumping lunges are you doing? How can you get hurt there, brother? Are you doing this one? **********Imitating a man jumping******** **********Imitating a man jumping******** Or someone must have thrown a stone while you’re doing it Take… Then it can hurt the balls It won’t hurt there, brother It’s the least prone area… Anyone else want to try??? Audience: I think groin Groin, somebody said groin, yes!!! I’ll tell you where I got hurt, brother You guys know the groin area? This is the groin area, right? Groin area Inner thigh Groin area Inner thigh Brother, right in the center of it I got hurt… Right in the center The area which they call adductors You guys know adductor’s? Audience: Nope Have you seen the Itch Guard ad? Remember the Itch Guard ad? Do you remember those two slides? No, no, weren’t those two slides made in it? Don’t you remember the one… Where the green light would turn on As soon as the cream was applied? The boys must know, right? Where your underwear gets stuck Their underwear doesn’t get stuck as soon as they get off the bike Yes, brother Let’s go, brother, let’s go Have you seen boys doing this by the roadside near a bike? Their underwear would have come up to here So, brother, I have an injury in the center of the left slide An injury right in the center And they asked me What happened? They were unnecessarily being strict with me I said, ma’am, I got injured She said, where? I said, here Brother, both assistants looked at each other like this As if it’s the first time someone got injured in Ludhiana She said, it must have happened here, right? I said, Nooooo…. It’s here, here So she said, nooooo…. It’s there only I said, ma’am, my injury is here She said, but we will treat it here It will reach there on its own I said, ma’am, I don’t want you to create a scene here That you’ll create a scene here, and I’ll be impacted there Brother, she literally treated my thighs, man The injury isn’t on my thighs, it’s here The treatment is going on here She had put those electrodes… You guys know electrodes? Audience: Yes!!! Basically, they pass vibrations to the impact area So that the muscles there can relax There’s a silicone strip like this They apply gel on it and then put it on… She put the gel on the strip and handed it to me…. She said, here, apply it yourself… I said, hey, I don’t know how She said, so should we apply it there for you? I said, what kind of DIY clinic is this Where I have to do all the work myself? There was no option, brother I was applying the strip with gel on it and moving it upwards… She said don’t move it too much upwards We have to apply it to the next patient’s face I asked her, ma’am, where did you apply it to the last patient? Is there any hygiene in this clinic or not? Nothing went right, brother I got vibrations on my thighs Vibrations on the thighs Felt like I had run one of those slim sauna belts here Nothing went right, brother In fact, due to these vibrations, I think two more muscles here got strained… And I returned in worse pain… I went on stage to perform a show The audience themselves said get down It won’t be able to happen today I got down in 30 minutes I went to my room, reached the hotel room, brother My luck was so bad that day, I got an upgraded suite in the hotel Now normally everyone would like a suite a lot… Everyone would like it, right? Audience: Yes!!! Today it was just hell for me… Because normally what happens in a hotel Here’s the room, and the washroom lie’s next to the bed That’s how it is, right? That’s how it is, isn’t it? Here’s the room, here’s the washroom Today, brother, Here’s a mattress The toilet is over there In between, there’s a sofa Whose father is lying on the sofa? Why was this useless sofa placed in my room? Forget that, brother There’s a mirror between my room and the washroom… There’s no purpose for the mirror… Because there’s already a big mirror in the washroom Maybe those who regularly stay in suites Think of themselves as kings They go looking at the mirror thinking, Now the king is going to pee… Now the king is coming back after peeing… I don’t know, brother, what the scene was…. I was going crazy with pain I couldn’t understand anything It was 10-11 PM My pain kept increasing I called a friend in Delhi He work’s at sports injury center or something I said, brother I got injured like this, what should I do? He said, brother, for temporary relief If you have "Moove" or "Volini", then apply it Audience: Ooooh…. This "oooh" that came out from you I just didn’t remember this Because my injury was so overwhelming I didn’t remember that… There are other things that happens when you apply "Moove"… Even if you apply Moove here, it burns Imagine where all I had to apply it… That day I understood why "Moove" has the tagline "from ah to aaah"…. My brain wasn’t working at full capacity because I was injured Brother, I took off everything below I took off everything I lay down straight like the Da Vinci Code I know this joke is understood only by 5-6 people Brother,I lay down like this, fully And brother, that day I didn’t have the "Moove" tube I had the spray…. Audience: Ohhhh Brother, the spray is an even more like a flying eagle You can’t stop the spray… All these thoughts didn’t even come to my mind Brother, I sprayed Brother, as soon as the first drop of spray hit here My soul came out and stood right in front of me It said, brother, wow What a decision you made, Gaurav Separated my whole body and soul Now you endure it, I’ll just enjoy And brother, what my body endured that day Only my body knows… I’m telling you I sprayed, the entire spray spread and went here Now I had pain here and burning sensation here It felt like someone had put fire crackers under my p*nis… I sat and blew on it ******Imitating someone blowing air******* I was directing and blowing air ******Imitating someone blowing air******* I didn’t understand what to do I was stuck here I had drunk all the water The washroom was 1.5 km away At 12:30 AM A 32-year-old man T-shirt on top, nothing below… Slowly, I’m moving towards the washroom… I reached the area with the mirror I saw my reflection in the mirror I said, was I born for this day? Just three hours ago in Ludhiana People took photos with me as a celebrity Now, here I am, useless celebrity in this situation Brother, I went into the washroom Why aren’t there mugs in hotel bathrooms? Otherwise, one could fill a mug with water and dip in What’s the problem, man… I know not everyone will understand this Even among the boys Only those who’ve had peri-peri will understand what I’m saying… *****imitating someone having immersive pain****** Brother, my condition is getting worse and worse I couldn’t understand what to do The tap was low, I couldn’t bend It’s burning, burning I didn’t do it, but the thought came to my mind Don’t judge me on this, okay I just thought about it, didn’t do it… You know those wash basins in hotels… You can fill them with water… I felt like filling it with water and dipping in… But then I wouldn’t be able to brush my teeth the next day… In fact, I would have had the wash basin removed before leaving… I know, brother, in such a painful way I spent the night there in Ludhiana… The next day… The next day, I reached Chandigarh, limping and bent… In Chandigarh, I found a male physiotherapist… I thought, I’ll calmly explain to him in Hindi what happened to me… I went to the doctor’s clinic The doctor asked what happened…. I grabbed his hand and put it… For five seconds, the doctor was in shock… *****Imitating someone in shock***** What kind of Nuisance is this? I said, doctor, please understand I got a very bad injury I’ve been troubled since yesterday, I don’t know what to do… So I explained everything to him Exactly what happened to me… He also understood my problem, what exactly happened to me That day, what he did was He took off everything below Made me lie down And covered me with a towel He took it off, made me lie down, and covered me with a towel That day, the doctor placed the electrodes in the right spot… He placed the electrode in the center of the left slide For the first time, I properly saw what that electrode machine is It’s a machine called TENS There’s a silicone strip Gel is applied on it Behind it go red and black wires that connect to a machine… There’s a timer running on it… But I hadn’t seen this machine lying like this I’m lying down… The towel is on… I bent down to see what’s happening So my POV was… That there are red and black wires going under my towel… Two wires coming out from the towel… Those wires are going into a machine And there’s a timer running on it I said, did they put a bmb? That there’s no cure, just blow it up Destroy it completely Blow it up today I was thinking if any trouble happens I’ll cut the red wire, I’ll pull the red wire when I hear ‘pee’… Brother, I’m lying down… Lying down with a towel on The electrode is on The doctor came to me He said, are you stable? I said, sir, I’m absolutely stable He said, should I start the vibration then? I said, what? He said, shall I start the vibration ? I said, don’t you know where the wire is connected? Yes, doctor If that’s the procedure, please go ahead Brother, I’m lying down with a towel on and the electrode is on The doctor turned on the vibration *******"Jurrrrrrr" imitating vibration****** "Sssssss"* imitating sensation Brother, someone gave me vibration here for the first time I forgot all the pain and everything The first thought that came to my mind was I said, brother, hope I don’t get @roused… I’m looking down and talking, I said, don’t be naughty, hey… Behave yourself, behave yourself, got it? You’re from a respectable family, behave yourself Because, brother, if it shows through the towel It will look even worse… What will the doctor think That the patient came with his desires… Just Imagine, The doctor is observing me sitting there…. Okay…… Okay…… Okay…… Aaaaye…….. *****imitating angry doctor******* Stop this… Until the doctor saves his towel… Its magic….. Brother, I’m lying down with full focus Nothing should happen… it’s been 5-7 minutes… With the vibration going on The doctor came to me… He said, are you stable? I said, sir, I’m absolutely stable He said, should I increase the vibration intensity??? I said, please don’t talk to me in this tone… You go here and there for a while Don’t do anything, please… So, they didn’t increase the vibration And they gave me the same intensity vibration for 20 minutes And brother, I didn’t get @roused So, brother, I got even more tensed… I said, doctor, why am I not getting @roused?…. Doctor: what kind of things are you talking about to me? I said, forget the talk, help me with this He said, that doesn’t happen here I said, cut my legs off But you’ll send me off properly today… So he kicked me out of the clinic, man Then I went to the hotel and checked… And everything was fine…..