Hatty Preston | Have A Word Podcast #279

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ADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK’s most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world.

what’s happening ladies before we kick off this week’s public episode it’s time to tell you about our patreon page patreon.com awod it is the biggest patreon in the UK and for good reason because you get so much stuff starting from just3 pound a month going all the way up to a 10er and if you go to the1 pound tier you get two free posters sent to you when you sign up the three Pounders though from the Baseline patreon membership you get all the extra content which includes early access to the video version of these public episodes and you get an extra bonus episode every single week and on top of that we give you a patreon special every month and as soon as you sign up you get access to the entire back catalog of all the episodes and all those specials which includes we’ve got the lockin we’ve been to Nashville we’ve been to Amsterdam we’ve done ghost hunts we’ve done a car track special oh it’s been amazing we’ve got 40 of these things the back catalog is unreal you sign up from3 a 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the biggest thing we’ve ever done will be going out and before that we’ve got some banging specials coming up you do not want to not be a patreon over the next few months sign up enjoy the episode patreon.com SL have a word pod 3 quid access to more stuff than you can shake a stick at wagwag leads you’re listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam Dan Sensei car and Finn this is the one and only have award brought to you by manscape the very best product on the market for below the waste gr go Ed get on me it feels like we haven’t been in for a while we haven’t been in for a while I think that’s why yeah yeah how long’s it been 10 days plague disease fins had [ __ ] real AIDS yeah you’ve been on holiday Piro IUS and [ __ ] your wife four times I was staying in a lovely resort called my will my wife captain my captain ah it’s tremendous anyone who’s new to the podcast uh hello Dan is uh married and we were betting on the over under on how many bunks he’d have on three I put it a three no you said over under a two you said two did say two did I you said it’s going to be oh I thoughted you over under I think maybe my three was like what I hoped for in my wildest dream that fourth oh my God so I tried to do on my Instagram stories um like the little subtle car emoji and then a broom broom at the end mhm you know CU my wife’s not fully stupid she was like why is there a little car on your story and why did you say broom broom and as she’s still like cleaning herself up I wasn’t that fast oh [ __ ] oh babe that was amazing to Instagram at any point when you were so she was in on it at that point yeah yeah one of the best decisions I made there I know the bit was me to be listen Dan just subtly put in the little cars you’ll never [ __ ] know in a little lady holiday brain cuz we agreed this before you went away like you’d put a card on your instagam sorry I’m weedd now you’d gone to Pound Town in the pom boom pound town in the pom boom and uh don’t do that voice and hello new listeners and wow getting her invested in it was great cuz I thought she might be like that’s all Tak life you know how she does this is my life and everyone at school is a patreon not true three dads everyone knows everything now but in instead she just wanted to put the stats competitive Spirit yeah love challenges they love they love games famously this is just like a weekl long game of Monopoly to where she just you I’ll give you mayir I [ __ ] her joran Monopoly that was the best bit at any point were you thinking of us while it was happening yeah I always think of you when I have sex with my wife you [ __ ] weirdo I bet you do though sometimes I think I bet you this week when you B going to call time like I popped into your head never and then you came quicker oh God never never draing respectfully you know love you boys missed you but never jaring but in the buildup it was all about the stats man yeah it was all about the stats Sunday night Pound Town phenomenal Monday story CH uh Monday again [ __ ] nighttime night little nighttime you’ve been out to come back night third night didn’t look like it was going to happen and I thought I don’t want to just pester her I don’t like that feel I want laws to want I listen you want to be wanted I I want my wife to want the dick yeah you know your dick my the dick specific very specifically my little dick so when she’s like not giving off the Cals I don’t want to be like you know so I just any other techniques other than that yeah um cuz I’m starting to and off she was reading Bridgeton one of the Bridgeton books and gets steamy I think the fourth one of the series ladies if you want you you know to uh need some kitchen whistle yeah she I was just about to fall asleep and she woke me up went hey come here never has this happened I was like all right now I’m getting a listen can’t be too graphic but you know when you know like she’s ready yeah that literature had got her all soured up phenomenal thank you Bridgeton I thought you were annoying as [ __ ] up until that point I thought Bridgeton was like a the crown spinoff essentially yeah it is yeah but they all [ __ ] yeah oh really yeah no it’s not the crown spof it’s like a no it’s all Regency and it’s all yeah that’s in my head that’s that is a crown spinoff you know what I mean it’s like a period it’s Sense and Sensibility with black people in it yeah they’ve taken the Hamilton approach they’ve put modern people in it cuz they’ve got a black Jew modern people I me black people I mean these new people never seen these before nor diversifi all these modern people there was there was not an Asian uh Juke in the 1800s what there was not not an Asian no no there was no one from an ethnic minority who had an ear him modern people yeah makes Modern Family different don’t it there’s a lot of them in that modern people coming over here do you think this is going to transfer over to this is this a meet you one season Wonder just while you’re away or is this going I thought you were talking about diversification within I think it’s a modern one or are we going back to white people for white roles there’s never been a black Finn tell us more about it yeah do you think the the bonin’s going to carry on over here or is it a holiday thing listen fourth fourth day h on we got there on the Sunday uh Wednesday we had a massive dinner and listen even I didn’t want to B like Craig David the Indian GFF we went to what was it the Indian G it was at Bombay Baboo yeah it was good that oh Bombay Baboo one we went to one we went to so my hotel was just down the hill next to the beach such a typical British thing to do though isn’t it to the island ofen you could there’s a billion restaurants I’ve been to one before and we’re going there again well Laura did that she was like oh this place is like I’ve never been to this place before and I was like cool let’s try that and it was fine you know the one we went down to on the little front at CI yeah right at the front and it was like fish restaurant and then me and Finn had pizzas yeah yeah do you remember that one that’s a [ __ ] great restaurant you love that one Bombay Baboo is one of the best CES I’ve ever had for the first time ever I was like can I have a chicken teaba that’s like medium like medium medium hot you know in like you know with steak you go can I have it medium or medium rare or rare but you can go medium medium rare like you can almost give another sort of do you the chef does ignore you just so you know when you do that with a thing right right a chef has five options it’s rare to well done and there’s medium and there’s medium well and there’s medium rare right but and if you try like Al that they just like yeah I’ll do it exactly how you’ve just said and then they just do it like well I asked for a chicken tuna like medium medium medium hot and he absolutely nailed it twice one of the best curries I’ve ever had all of the food was good definitely just gave you the house Curry but we were stuff and you just liked it there was no but then so that when I woke up and did the story like hello darkness my friend really milked it at that point um I got so many responses on you know in your DMs your message requests so this is there was no sex so you put an Instagram story up yeah with three cars in and then I did I thought this is funny this will be funny I have never had so many so I tried to delete them from my message requests and it crashed my Instagram cuz so many people were like l oh [ __ ] up and we’re laughing and everything the fourth the fourth day was the Thursday was the the last full day we’re at the pool and I basically went hey come on got to get these stats up she was like yeah before dinner absolutely the way forward that’s the window post post sun in pre- dinner phenomenal never been so happy to post a fourth car oh what a [ __ ] touch and thank you for all the congratulations so many people invested in why don’t we keep it going why don’t we set new thing now yeah maybe like like for the ne the next week you just put like you’re just holding a stick of broccoli on your Instagram story cool well look out for that broccoli yeah cuz I’ve had four bunks in a week and I think that might be any peanut butter we know it’s been up ass ni cuz that’s the broccoli for dick peanut butter for the bum bum for ha dick she’s got a dick now been a long holiday oh my God it was great costra deck is great if you want if you want to bit of couple time that is a nice resort did you do c Park no we didn’t do c Park pathe we’re too busy shagging stupid way to do ten stick it in the peanut butter on cyan Park can I you could have had sex at cyan Park what in a queue no no in the [ __ ] cubicle no I didn’t want to do it no I just wanted we had four days we had four oh by the way I’ve been the beach off why went down on the first day I was like I’m a beach man I’m an absolute beachman right yeah except our hotel was basically on the beach it was the last like there was a door there was a gate there’s a little path and then the beach so we were right next to it and for the whole of our holiday last year I was like ah the beach is me it’s the one but it was halfter it was busier and there was a lot of the ladies with the foot massage Chinese the Chinese L modern people the was people and then an influx of the guys [Laughter] selling it’s got a patron energy hasn’t it we’re in on a Sunday 10 days uh the guys with the bags you know that they walk along and go sounds very 2024 they just got B oh Theon you know what I mean very low missions this man oh he’s so [ __ ] annoying there was millions of them and Laura’s like I can’t like relax so I was like all right right I need the sea need to get in the sea but then the bottom pool at the hotel was a FR like a salt waterer pool nice so we went there so I got my little arm in the sea without the monsters cuz that’s the thing in it with the sea the sea monsters and there was no Fon Co beer it was so peaceful so we found a little spot in the adultos exclusivos are you a you now a adult bit I am to that hotel the bajaya Del Duke which is one of the best hotels I’ve ever stayed [ __ ] amazing you know last year we were like this isn’t a five star this is a all right fourar and they’re like well definitely five it was a I think it was a top end of a three personally well this one was a banging a five like it was great the customer service was me you know when you get in customer service where they don’t bother you at all until you as soon as you look at someone and ask them for something they do it immediately drop what they’re doing like they were brilliant they were so good at that it was lovely it like there was a few kids but the kids pool was up at the top so it was really peaceful around like the saltwater pool I [ __ ] love D it so I was off the beach I actually felt bad about that cuz I basically jibbed off the whole [ __ ] holiday around the pool with you lot to be like I’m a beach man we had time as well yeah so much fun ball in the pill oh in that little corner bit with the goal oh unreal there was none of that EDS and B mate none of that at the Del Duke I’m going to Turkey on Tuesday and we’re staying five star but that’s are we both away this week yeah oh wow we away the exact same days Turkish oh what record I’ve seen it two weeks we’ had a delay we’re waiting for Adam Turkish five star is three if you’re lucky yeah ping stars out there are it’ll be fine I am I go to Nashville on Tuesday oh um and so you know when I went to New York with Carl last month m i uh I went to use me personal so I’ve got three bank cards I’ve got me personal account I’ve got me Ro comedian account for me tour yeah and I’ve got the podcast business card what the cards I have on me I went to use my personal one in New York and santande were like hey you haven’t told us that you’re traveling so no not having your money [ __ ] you right so I’ve had to use me like um me Adam Ro business card for like a while because what I should have done is come immediately back from New York on straight to bank and sorted it out what I did was just didn’t do that don’t go I was on the phone for 45 minutes the other day to the bank and every single like 20 seconds on the music you know they’re going I’m pretty sure it’s just a man singing To You by the way she kept going we are still trying to get you a server we appreciate your patience and your kindness and I was like you are assuming a lot about the mood I’m going to be in when this phone finally gets answered someone’s getting called a c flap uh told them in the end like eventually get through after 45 minutes and she goes oh yeah I can see got blocked can I just have the first line your address and I went yeah she went oh yeah and it’s done and H no worries and I went well I’m going back to America in a few days cuz you just make sure it doesn’t Happ again she was like where you going when went till and that’s done so it was really simple yeah however lot lots of my subscriptions because I’ve left it for nearly a month have cancelled right so like me me uh Now TV for like the sport that’s just cancelled because it’s l that card me pretam m subscription canel that card God what will you do um me me Amazon Prime cancel cuz it’s link to that card I they’re all getting slowly updated again now but the really important thing is when I booked my accommodation for Nashville I’d selected to pay the month before we go oh no oh no and yesterday I was in the pub with Jack and I was like I was just going to check the address of where we staying so I went on booking.com on me email and it said wait there was two emails one said we’re going to charge your card in 3 days for you stay in Nashville the next one said we couldn’t charge your card for the stay in Nashville we’ll try again tomorrow and then after that it said accommodation cancelled unable to take um oh yeah so we’re just going to go and sleep dick sucking dick um what are you going to do what are you going to do when you get there different apartment oh right was that easy it’s fine I just went on bing.com found somewhere not as good it’s a lot better it’s in a much better location and it was 500 more than the one where are you location um sort of between Broadway and East Nashville you know all those cool bars that were like out on the road yeah oh right the other end so like if like if they’re all up here and Broadways here and like the downtown downia we’re like there nice we’re about a six minute walk to the stadium sound yeah and we got tickets for the Friday at the stadium for CMA Fest oh it’s CMA first oh did you know that when you booked it yeah all right yeah I did yeah so we got on the big HS country and Country Country Music Association that would be my CMA yeah yeah yeah who’s on big hitters or uh yeah so we’re going to see Luke Bryan H Cody Johnson and Kelsey ballerini they all used to play for I switch amazing and it do you remember when they finished fifth you know some of their songs Luke Bryan I’ve heard of yeah he’s a judge on American Idol as well and he’s handsome good it’s class and 49 Winchester who I went to see last week in Manchester they’re playing one of the three stages on the Saturday so I’m going to go and watch them as well and I’m also hiring a Bronco and going on a road trip like a horse no a Ford Bronco okay oh Mur and women yeah like OJ yeah I’ve also inquired about buying uh vintage Bronco and getting it important like OJ huh like OJ yeah but it’s a cooler one so you want to see it see oh 100% yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh vintage vintage Bronco Broncos 1.6 million followers uh here we go oh very nice oh oh lovely lovely lovely uh where’s the actual video look good around West Derby well that’s why I want it cuz no one else has got no one else has got one why not you get a combine harvester oh it is class wi it is class will it fit in the Q Park what will it fit in the Q Park yeah it’s not it’s not even as big as my car oh is it not it’s just a pickup truck question what are you going to do with your car are you trading in for and you’re just going to have a br so I I got my car valued last week my car is currently worth about 40 Grand and there is it yeah [ __ ] hell yeah sweet because there’s a weird thing with rain Rovers at the minute where they the the demand is more than how many they’re making so you don’t they don’t appreciate very much of the money um and to get one of those series but they start at $165,000 oh all right is how much they out there or is that that’s how much to import it no that’s how much they are out there which card are you going to use for that what which card are you going to use for I’m going to finance it okay um right yeah it’s a lot of money in it yeah it’s cuz they’re vintage it’s it’s because they’re vintage yeah like a brand new one would but when you finish with it it’ll be more vintage that’s how cars work is it I think I’ll have it forever though yeah in in theory my car is going to be worth more is it whenever I be ranching ches it’ll what oh nice he’s going to be around the corner with his Bronco um wow I’m excited to see this all play out Mr R you got to pay for your Bronco you’ve got three days to pay for your Bronco the Bronco’s been canell B you can rent I love it a 2022 Bronco in Nashville for $144 a day so I’m oh yeah going to get one of them and just drive out to a lake and have some cold ones on the lake Ste Lake all right I’ll drive until I find the link put it in Google Jack put that in Google L that do sound like a class day you want to stop peddling in that Lake there’s been some pollution in there wonder why with to were itchy and now ones drops off oh I’m so excited that’s it you all you got all your outfits or you buying them out there um I’ve got a lot of new clothes Finn that was such lovely like prodding fishing you knew where that was going what you mean tell us about your outfits what you mean well darling let me show you the photo book I’ve got a collage every day is a different mood a theme Luke Bryan’s chiseled Jaw Sho Lany Wilson’s big fat bunder and near like there was a tossup really between the Friday and the Saturday at the stadium because Laney Wilson is on on the Saturday and I wants to see her [ __ ] again um listen it’s gone though Laney Wilson has had a bum removed yeah a zic What’s happen epic what’s happened to Lany Wilson’s bum all that pill that everyone’s on is it a zenic but she was are taking slimming pills listen someone told me the other day they’re on a zenic can’t remember come what’s his mic do it’s l a fat it’s a it’s a diabetes drug originally is but if you take it when you’re not diabetic it just makes you skinny thank you Dr r is have two of these you go blind in one eye for a bit and you’ll get the Jers but You’ be so skinny unless you want a big fat Bund like Lany Wilson now she’s got a flappy tired ass they all have like a zic face like Sharon oos looks like um Skeletor from He-Man because they go to bony yeah yeah but like and also I think Christina pinsky’s on it I think she mentioned mind yeah but I think she’s doing a more Humane Humane do like a more cuz she’s not sh’s taking the hor one she’s taking I got a fat horse get it on there horse EMP right I mean I am tempted to try it because I feel like a [ __ ] donut at the moment I saw a clip from 18 months ago you two have both had a [ __ ] glow up here have we really yeah I feel a bit rough for the minute because you don’t know how much I needed that um oh that’s nice isn’t it yeah I’ve gone up a whole belt size in this week you fat little bit putting weight on no oh sorry I’ve gone like I can do another belt okay yeah you are getting skinny it’s all that shagging I threw up for three days solid oh it’s all that illness yeah yeah yeah uh how are youed when you were ill like are you are you all right being ill or are you a bit like pathetic if you ask all of my ex-girlfriends they’ll say that I’m the most pathetic human being at ever just one I’m are you Brave I don’t get ill very often okay I don’t get bedridden ill but when we we did blind date oh you remember we did blind dat I got Nora virus the week before I think did we record that on a Saturday was that Saturday night Saturday on the Friday I sneezed in the shower and um my bum exploded and I it was so close to getting can I I was like it isn’t me being a [ __ ] I I was like I can’t dress up as Sila black and then po my pants on stage like that’s not on uh I I wanted to go drinking so much after that night it was a great night I wanted to go that Hotel bar nice um I think I had noro virus um I shot myself for the first time in a few years that was fun nice in your pants in my pants like a full poo it woke me up wow oh you are poly I was if you’re your sleep I woke up to uh yeah poo in my pants that was fun um I am not a religious man I don’t which God did you pray to all of them oh really all of them when he took his undies off Jesus and Sh some people find him in like toast and stuff I was over well chosen by the way thank god well chosen on that one can’t draw the other one even in poo upset me nasty [ __ ] uh um you ever that’s the line you ever get M that’s the line is it and want to do found the line nearly five years in a poo B Muhammad joke really that’s what’s going to do it no one said it wasn’t great um yeah I was over the toilet ball praying to a god to one of the other ones any any God also wish for death a few times yeah I was I was in a bad way still edited the patreon episode though had stop six times to throw up what you still edited the edited the P well it had to happen didn’t it [ __ ] little trooper it had to happen there poo on the patri his job which takes very lad I’ve taken the car roll today that’s F not going to bite but I get it I get it sh barely go down go on car on yeah I was a bit pathetic for a few days no I’m I’m feeling all right now yeah getting there what were you like when you had covid oh I just smell weed for two weeks that was great I I I binged Ted lasso and smoked weed and wrote some songs I had a great like the first two days you had proper Co man I was the first two days we we were we had that at the same time didn’t we did we yeah you were in hospital we I went to hospital one night yeah he had proper Co you had Jeff Bley Co what Jeff Bley Co when smoking weed and writing songs what kind of CO’s that well the first few days I was in bed but then you’ve got a it was at the point where you had to isolate for 10 days or whatever so three days I’m in bed dying and then then I’m fine and I’m man when I got Co I was like oh this is going to be sound I’ll watch loaded like TV and then my eyes hurt yeah so I couldn’t watch anything so there were there was like there was a little rest bite period in the Middle where I thought I’d beaten it and then I got bad again but there was three or four days where I just sort of lay there going in and out of sleep that’s norovirus is worse cuz you are so poorly like physically poorly but that first three or four days of Co was rough just cuz I couldn’t do any of the stuff that I wanted to do I just wanted to watch something and be like I’ll just watch like a box set or something but I was so out of it my eyes stung it like hurt my eyes to watch something that was horrible I got a bit moany then I almost killed a girl from Alabama when I had Co oh I’m Luke Brown when I was at you when I was at Union in the states uh they didn’t recognize Co they didn’t think it existed yeah because you in that deep south so they were like you weren’t allowed to force people to wear masks and you weren’t allowed to miss lessons unless you had like a a full-blown test so while I was waiting for my results to come back I had to go into lessons and this uh girl from Alabama was like um oh yeah you know they’re trying to muzzle us with these masks like I can’t believe it and I was deathly with Co speaking to it and then she wasn’t in for a month thought it afterwards was she um listen that’s not your fault was she a b it was Chinese yeah there you go modern people was she some Modern disease um what was she a bigger bigger girl was she an Alabama Slammer no she was she was like a sorority girl what she oh she’s hot you can tell she was sorry was she first like she was plastic that’s a no I wouldn’t have done but she was a sority kind of but maybe I was put off by the fact that she had like Trump tops and stuff like that I that i’ find so much more attractive top trumps top oh top trumps I’d find that so much more attractive than like a Democrat yeah she probably de yeah 100% uh but also like Trump supporters taken up the ass fucku m ass they moved all the foreign students into like empty accommodation and like locked them there if they had covid and that’s what they wanted to do all along but it was my 21st birthday when I had Co and I was like I’m not going into some random room so I just stayed in my room and um and I was in bed naked watching gry’s anatomy and um the the contamination crew came into my room and I just had [ __ ] and ball sounds like a rock yeah it sounds like a rock they come to cheer me up they’re all modern people har we’ve heard having a bad time we had a contamination crew and this one is fiddling with pigs um yeah but I like I was bats that would have been so much better sorry spread eagle spread eagle on the bed watching gry Anatomy sweating and this the idea of watching gry Anatomy while you’re ill with a potentially deadly disease honestly I’ve got health anxiety now vicariously through you years ago yeah oh Gregs anatom is one of the worst programs of all time just because it made me want to like just kill myself to stop me from dying but I definitely don’t think medical dramas are your thing absolutely no do you do that with other shows though what you mean like Doomsday films like 2012 do you like no cuz that’s nothing to do with health and also I’m only scared of dying because I’ll miss out on all the fun like if there’s genuinely if there’s a media heading towards Earth and it comes on the news and it’s like everyone’s going to die I’d be quite content I’d be like right we’re all going no fomo that’s exactly why don’t want to die oh it’s like Putin you want to take everyone out with you if you’re if you’re going to go like i’ I’d be so you know if I was on my deathbed and I’m surrounded by all my family and friends and it came on the news then like oh there me to a head and TW I’d be like this is perfect so you’re on your deathbed yeah you’re dying and in you’re already thinking yuns are going to go for a pine after first is that there yeah I’m going to miss me own weight do you know how annoying that is do you know how class my funeral is going to be oh yeah we’re going to organize it you spread over three days at pins yeah it’s going to be a drumond bass event it’s what he would have wanted the contamination crew um right do you have a break yeah it is what were you saying ear how about your cat that got stolen what we’re not having a break we’re talking about we were talking about we’re talking about the age of cats weren’t we yeah I I mean we don’t allegedly we’re talking about Millie weren we so I don’t know whether will wants to pan the C Will’s got his dog in with us today and she’s absolutely adorable she looks like she’s dying didn’t she she’s just now she’s just decided to put the deathlist pose on Millie Millie she’s asleep down Millie she eyes open that’s what we said about Nana really oh there she thank god um maybe we should have shouted Nana louder and Millie is 15 years old which in dog years is 105 right and we were talking about that and you said you had a Oney old cat yeah and it got I mean allegedly cuz I can’t accuse him but we had a neighbor that looked like Dominic littlewood and he had a white van and we’re 99% [ __ ] certainly stole our cat [ __ ] certain but it was like did you say he had a van yeah that doesn’t mean that he stole the I’m just going to say it’s a weird he small he a cat size man he either killed it or he he stole it and Dred why why did you think this uh he just gave off cat Napper Vibes right and I think I don’t that was the the theory he didn’t like us he didn’t like you so you think he killed your cat yeah but I think they got I think his kids got caught shooting the cat with uh BB pellets once so then we were just like cat murderer like it’s just a natural well hang on the kids a little [ __ ] that’s I mean that’s fair but this guy is become being called the cat stealer by association in my headed of like oh that’s the evil cat murderer man so maybe it’s just all projected but I believe he did it it’s a [ __ ] superhero that cat murderer man evil cat murderer man cat murderer man uh M an used to steal cats so I’ve got some experience here the Turkish one it no British one what British one used to steal cats your Welsh n used to steal cats yeah yeah yeah uh she used to just lock them in her house if they came in she used to feed all the cats so i’ I’ve told oh she held them hostage essentially she used to feed everything I I told one of those stories at Pin of finding a dead cat in my n’s house we’ll come to that at some other point um she used to feed the Hedgehogs the seagulls uh the rats she used to actively feed the rats fans yeah disg you needed to visit her more she was Lon I did I visited her all the time oh did you yeah yeah yeah she was just mental she used to she was make a space with the Hedgehogs yeah yeah she um she used to if so so her cat flap was just open oh oh God [Laughter] sry let’s just let so leave so tell us about your n’s C FL room she just left it unattended open all the time for anyone all hours of all ours and if a neighbor’s cat would come a few times and eat the food she would then lock the cat flap until it became settled and then that would be its home so at some point she had like so my my n fed everything that wandered around the Bungalow at her house that she was like that was her thing she never then [ __ ] fritzel them and kept them in the basement she like let them go back to where they were so they come to see her there’d be people knocking on the door going you got my cat and she’d be like out I’ve not got your cat just loads of noise ignore that that’s me dogs but yeah that was that was her um what a woman what a cat flap hobby yeah it was her hobby did did she ever get busted for it by the police by the popo she got she got done for the rats the the council came around the went You’ got to stop feeding the rats and she was like no they were like we’re going to have we’re going to put rat traps down and she was fuming she she didn’t like can the councel do that can they come into your house I think her neighbor had complained cuz he had rats cuz she’d been feeding the rats she just leave like cheese out for them fully like she was she was insane in my head it’s like no as Arc around the back of your Nana’s cat flap just like 2 by two yeah flooded uh now we’re having a break yeah rip rip she hello everyone just me on this one it’s time to talk about my absolute favorite sponsor it’s manscape.com the very best in below the belts Men’s Grooming Father’s Day coming up June 16th what are you getting your partner he a Daddy what are you getting your daddy he definitely a daddy get him some manscape this is the performance package 5.0 an absolute array of top quality [ __ ] but the best thing is the lawn mower 5.0 what a pube shaver this is now let’s not talk about your dad’s pubes but let’s talk about the presents that men get Christmas birthdays Father’s Day most of them are a bag of shite I swear to God if you go on manscape.com use code word 20 get 20% off and free shipping you will be giving your significant father other one of the best presents he has ever received there’s loads of fun to be had check out the website use code word2 so they know we’ve sent you get your discount and appreciate it get them balls gone for Father’s Day get them less hairy get them looking all smooth and nice don’t know why I did that I did it weird I did the start weird that’s you uh The Comedians Club Chester Saturday the 8th of June we have available Mark Nelson will Dugen and Scott Bennett with me comparing so this coming Saturday Saturday the 8th of June if you fancy it come down to the church and watch us have the most fun comedians club.com for tickets you should put you know when you post about it on Instagram you can add music to it you should put Take Me to Church Take Me to Church nice nicely done um got some questions can you can you do it oh nice oh my Herman heridas says wagwag Lids one for Adam Bolton player I mean he’s Swedish do played for like Harry rnaps teams didn’t he really like that’s a fake a fake name someone’s doing if you whatever when you write in have wordp pod gmail.com or if you want VIP go to patreon um if you put a name I’ll [ __ ] read it I’ve said it before I’ll say it again I’ll I’ll read what whatever is there I’m Ron Burgundy when it comes to this [ __ ] wagwag Lids one for Adam really do you reckon you could win The Masters and that’s the question no uh do you reckon you could win The Masters if every pro golfer started on the te and you started the hole on uh every hole on the green absolutely not like and that like there’s scratch golfers like people who play off zero do you know I mean matter yeah no handicap yeah no people who have no handicap could have that question and they still wouldn’t win it and my handicap’s like 30 is that because in so like on a par three MH they are regularly just putting it straight on the green and put in um yeah on a part three they they’ll they’re all disappointed if they don’t make the green but like they’ll get it at least close enough whether it’s a chip on or chip in and then a put like yeah and then on a PA four sometimes they driving the green on a par four and if not they’re very disappointed if they don’t get there in two and is it Flushing Meadows the Masters uh austa austa is that austa yeah I played tiger W back in the um first of all like if this question is actually about me my PN is horrific like that’s the worst bit of my play What’s the strength of your game apart from the sort of I’m fairly consistent with me driver right but once you sort of know how to play golf everyone is well you should be okay U although they say it’s the hardest Club to hit but I just don’t believe them like my driver tends to go Fairly straight in like about 220 yards it’s not that far for someone to be driving the ball okay um what’s the what’s this uh thing I keep seeing on Instagram reals where it’s just there seems to be no finesse to it but it’s just the longest drive competition like that looks mental yeah like yo guys absolutely [ __ ] heaving it it’s just a bit of a competition yeah but like I’d be into that yeah that would be fun I don’t know why that looks so much fun the Happy Gilmore competition just get it as far as you I saw Tiger Woods doing that doing the tig doing the happy runup The Run did he do did he do it yeah yeah yeah and they all wore what was the ice hockey team that uh Happy Gilmore had on remember it looked like the I can’t remember Googling uh but they all wore that and then tiger wolf tiger wolf Tiger Woods did it and he was good I watched Tiger Woods have a longest drive competition with someone who’s like a [ __ ] chest and Tiger Woods goes to minu longest drive competition now and he goes you go first and the fell goes first and [ __ ] Stripes it and the Fell’s like [ __ ] he feels like he’s in with a shot and Tiger Woods gets on his knees and out drives him how does that work it’s just technique is it he he’s just get more power on your knees no he’s taking a piss he’s like even on my knees I’ll out drive you it’s absurd um yeah so the The Greens at austa and I I only know this from listening to other people because I’ve never been or like experienced it myself and I I’ve only played to a certain level of golf club like The Greens at austa are impossible for someone like me or even a scratch Goa to read so like it looks like you’ll be like right I’m going to hit it and it’s going to K around there and go in you’ll hit it it’ll go up there and down it go way past the hole up and it’ll spin back to you and they’re the F famously hard greens it like impossible for someone like me to even get so if we do the golf special where are we are we going somewhere with nice flat easy greetings bunk on the baron oh bunk on the baron bunk the baron um it by the way did you did you get many emails no about the golf special we got loads of messages on I didn’t see any Dan got a lot of emails nothing’s coming I also got signed up to an summers only fans loads of banter so we are going to do the havw golf open next summer planning is in place or in motion I’ll do it on me [ __ ] knees lad um and I think it’d be really fun so we’ll have like uh a load of comedians some people who’ve never played before some people who play regularly we have some of my mates we’ll have some patreons involved but we’ll we’re going to make it fun rules where like if you down a drink it’s a free shot and stuff I’m into it it makes it competitive it’ll be class it be impossible to film you can have a [ __ ] nightmare but it’s going to be class Brad Jones says quick question like the sly in Doctor Who if you could choose someone to be able to zip yourself in and out of who would you go with so first part of the question CU there’s only one absolute Doctor Who goth here and it’s yeah yeah Finley covered love yeah what’s a slid and why is it so like slythering how much detail do you need it uh we just need to know what it is I don’t want my vagina to dry up complet some aliens from RX Caro alorius and they I’m sorry what they they’re like big green things and they zip uh they make they like kill people and they make they get their skins and they like climb into their skin and then zip their forehead and then because they’re so compressed they fart a lot they’re like the farting aliens you know cuz it’s a series ious show fart zip they were the prime minister at one point what one of them was the Prime Minister killed Tony Blair in real life yeah it was Saddam Hussein really yeah um who would you zip into if you could zip into any any person whoever the boyfriend is of Miss world is that still a thing missor yeah one of my friends regularly compete in pageants Josh I’ve got a friend who competes in it like she’s competing in uh Miss Universe Great Britain in a couple of weeks yeah Miss 24 24 is quite fit do you not have to do regionals do you not have to like you do yeah so you have to be like Miss COC to get into the Miss Liverpool well I don’t know how small it goes I don’t think it goes down to like streets or post codes it’s not like Miss l12 right but there’ll be there’ll be Miss Liverpool and then she goes up against Miss Manchester Miss Chester Miss [ __ ] Sheffield Miss for Miss Northwest yeah and then miss Northwest and then it’s Miss England and then it’s Miss Great Britain and then how she [ __ ] there’s too many pageants and then miss Great Britain goes to compe in Miss World and one day they’ll be competing against the zip up cun all over the planet have you seen the um I can’t wait for the European have you seen the the video I think it was viral last year where they’re all introducing themselves and then the French one just everyone managed to do their country in a reasonable volume Morocco and she went what’s mad is beauty pageants aren’t just about the aesthetic not just about what you look like there’s like different rounds where it’s like hey walk towards me in a straight line do a little dance what women spell and be in it there’s mats competitions and each round is like a different B do a soku see why you’re Miss Liverpool yeah I’m got with numbers yeah ad so here’s some beauty pageant questions that they ask at Miss World um what is your greatest weakness my greatest weakness um being too I don’t think IBS is going to get you the win here the greatest weakness is not knowing when I’m beat I like it uh if you could control the national budget strength that’s what they want yeah yeah yeah what would you allocate the most funds to um the national Yeah country so like richy Sak’s old job before he was running a country um o who is the chancellor I would say doesn’t matter cuz they’re going I would say um schooling Jeremy Hunt and the NHS equally oh Jeremy Hunt oh Jeremy Hunt uh recently president Trump I mean this is a bit outdated uh has said that the United States has an immigration crisis at the southern border do you I’m all for modernization I watched bridon and everything I’m shound with it give me one more imagine if Miss Liverpool got asked that question Miss Liverpool if if you could have dinner with anyone Dead or Alive who would it be alive that honestly smart that is going to get you a little tick in it I think um the most fun person to zip into right now might be Biden yeah his Skin’s loose enough yeah it’s also possible that someone is doing that yeah there’s a lot of there’s a lot of have you seen a conspiracy theory that he’s not he’s like a clone I’ve seen that he’s a robot and you’re like why are you making a [ __ ] robot because that’s it has to be to be believable because if it was a good robot everyone be like he wasn’t that good six months ago on Windows XP yeah yeah he’s but he looks very different than he did like 15 20 years ago God does he yeah you get this up what sense does that does he look like what older or something oh well older he looks well older than 15 years ago just put like Joe Biden different person okay one he’s 81 now screen’s on yeah I know it’s so put him in at 25 and see if he looks different can we have like a maximum age limit as well on like people who run the Free World there’s only four years between him and Trump and the the life difference is a lot yeah in terms of who is alive do you see Trump’s uh response when he came out for UFC 302 yesterday Fu they went mental they went [ __ ] mental Theo vongh is behind him [ __ ] hyping it up yeah absolutely it happened when we went to Vegas to watch the UFC he was there and the same thing he’s uh he’s going to win is that on no no well he’s going to win from prison which is going to be an interesting twist to prison he’s a convicted fellon he is the cheating horrible [ __ ] I know it’s overdone but he is so good at press conferences there’s never there’s never sense they’re the funniest thing ever I know but I don’t think that’s what they should be no they shouldn’t be he’s a horrible guy but he is where he came out and he went and he was like no one has ever been treated like this in the history of the US it’s all Biden the Court’s been paid off by Biden the judge I won’t tell you what he did but he’s a bad guy he’s dropping all these things the the jury they literally crucified them no they didn’t did they Donald didn’t literally crucify it’s awful but like at some point you you have to accept he’s going to win and just step back and watch it happen cuz there’s genuinely nothing we can do no I know but but he’s he’s he’s he’s say he’s there’s potential prison term for these 34 convictions then he’s got to do another one in Florida because he he fakes some accounting down there then uh a a court in Georgia are trying to pull him up for basically attacking the whole whole Democratic process with the election and the riot on the capital and by the end of that if he’s been found guilty of all of that he could be in prison for the campaign would that not kick off there’s no precedent by the way there’s no precedent for this because the apparently a 100 years ago A guy ran for the presidency from prison he was a socialist candidate he got like a a million votes which is [ __ ] all in America but I no one has ever won the presidency while being in prison there’s no rules for it there’s no constitutional precedent so what will they do because if you can’t fulfill your duties as president then you can’t like they could they could easily argue you shouldn’t be president but then that will kick off the altright so badly because then be like you have robbed the the election only one when he got convicted of 34 counts only one in six people did did the poll and went would you still vote for him one in six people went no probably not the rest were like [ __ ] make America great again because he’s convinced a lot of a large part of his like fan base that it’s a witch on they all believe it I know it’s it’s he’s so slippery he’s so slippery at some point you have to accept that we’re in the season finale of planet Earth and the writers have completely jumped the Shar and it’s all just getting like you just have to enjoy it like the world is on fire it’s one big bin fire so let’s just get some marshmallows and make them like why why are we worried anymore just let it happen enjoy it we get to be here for like the most mental bit of History not of the the president’s going to be in prison he’s going to be doing press conferences in an orange jumsuit and they’re going to H he can’t vote for himself he can’t vote for the presidency because he’s a convicted fellon but he can run it’s it’s a cartoon and it’s [ __ ] class it’s the best episode of the [ __ ] Simpsons you’ve ever seen it’s unbelievable let’s en jooy you the president is going to be in prison maybe but he’s not going to prison billionaire presidents don’t go to prison I don’t know it’ be again if we’re Jumping the Shark it’d be [ __ ] great if he did cuz I ate the [ __ ] but also just for the melodrama I totally agree like what are we doing differently it feels like the final season don’t it yeah but what are you doing differently there’s there’s two pretty horrific Wars going on at the moment the one in Ukraine is basically like mental it’s it feels like because there’s everyone’s got nuclear weapons and they’re like no we’ll just keep shooting each other and chasing each other around the Ukraine while we could do that thing it’s like having a thumb war with a loaded handgun on the table like go let’s do it like this I know I could shoot you but let’s just keep doing it like this and we’re just getting along with it everyone in the world’s like yeah we’re getting along with it the president’s going to be in prison that’s going to go so mental when it all hits in November you’ve got to put your fingers in your ear I’m like yesterday Saturday no in terms of nuclear armor gon you do no it’s all it’s all and there’s nothing anyone can do or it’d be getting done so just enjoy the season finale of planet Earth and the American arm of it is [ __ ] class it’s awful but it’s entertaining and you cannot deny that it is batshit crazy and he’s going to win it’s like like Wheeling out like hanal Le yeah yeah but he’s he’s he’ do it as well he’d do it he’d be like this would be great [ __ ] know you seen Shane Gillis is in the new uh Eminem video no he’s in M yeah he’s in the music video for that there’s a uh my man’s doing all right is he there was a screenshot of a group chat from the New York Comics who do Legion of skanks and someone was like is that Shane in the new Eminem video and the reply to it was I think at this point M&M’s in the new Shane video I’ve watched a couple of episodes of tires yeah it’s good I’ve watched it all I’ve watched it all all right is it really well done yeah I it’s just so really fun it’s it’s really funny and it’s very refreshing for a comedy like that to be made because it is just it’s very real that is what those places are like and it’s not popular anymore or common to put that level of realism for inappropriate human and what goes on in male dominated work places like that and that that’s what it’s like and it’s it’s already R for season 2 and it’s yeah I think we gave him his break you know yeah we did yeah it’s it also I found really good about it it’s really plot driven I didn’t I sort of thought they’d just do jokes gags I thought they’d just do it for the gags but it’s actually it is genuinely about the plot and you start getting kind of invested what’s the manager called the will will it’s so brilliant playing the straight man he’s good playing the straight man really funny guy but like his friendship with Shane in it is really nicely done yeah like and that’s that’s really good comedy has those moments where they’re being [ __ ] to each other but you can sense the affection from from the characters it’s really nicely done go and watch tires yeah shall we do some irrational celebrity beefs so for those who missed the episode H where we brought this up this is just we asked people to get into if they just hate a celebrity like for no reason like I’ve got like a visceral hatred of Judith kepple cuz she’s a [ __ ] [ __ ] did you did you know she’s related to Camila Parker balls we had that sent in a few times yeah of course she is makesense there you go it’s progressed to murderer right Adam Let’s uh we’ll put you in Judgment of this if you agree give it a give it a bang you just you just sit in judgment on this let’s see William Candice says I [ __ ] ate Kira nly she’s objectively a good actor she’s been in some good films and lots of people think she’s very fit especially in that early 2000’s era but there’s one thing that absolutely ruins it all and it’s her laugh and smile when I see it makes me cringe and want to yip I know exactly what he means though like I I’ve got like a soft spot for K nightly I think she so right from bendit bendit Like Beckham era what film and pirates of the calaban wow but also his smile is a bit like it looks like it’s about to close a hospital like it’s so postion Tory yeah like her face looks like right-wing policy do you I mean her face like her mouth obviously comes from money scream G I’m night imagine she did that in a film night I know that’s in the trailer if she did that in every film oh KY K can you stop doing it you’re not DJ Khaled oh Carol n says as far as celebrity hates go I cannot stand Barry Kon his face is strange and he’s so weird and cringe on Instagram um from Salt yeah I still haven’t got over the fact that someone said uh he looks like he’s a member of the US Women’s Football team and he does like I think he if he was playing Center mid for the US Women’s National Team you would not even question it he like an athletic lesbian oh yeah yeah yeah um and I’ve still not got over the the scouts accent in saltburn what accent from Prescott yeah yeah I mean it’s mad people trying to I needed to get over it but there’s so much else going on in that film so they’ve come all the way around on that and that oh he was doing that on purpose because he was high in the fact that he was from Liverpool so he was doing a bad action on purpose all right okay a of [ __ ] I don’t think that’s true rean duni says name again oh by the way both of them my irrational beef is Craig David something about him don’t trust that pricks big forehead uh and even though I have got a big forehead myself I totally know what he means I’ve never been at one with Craig David you have you not that surprises me never just really I just I can’t believe he kept going like he had his thing and then he sort of disappeared yeah and then just sort of like kind of came back again that’s so but he came back cooler didn’t he cuz originally he was like a [ __ ] W he like for years everyone was like Craig Davids a Ming he’s a [ __ ] no one his b parties were empty both selor ruined him yeah both absolutely ruined him so he went quiet and he came back with a hairline that wasn’t his and Nostalgia but also not just Nostalgia like cuz originally he was like a bit of a like R&B rapper but he came back as like a [ __ ] what he’s a DJ he he done a little dj course came back and was like look at me [ __ ] lights yeah yeah but they all do DJ courses don’t they yeah I think who did Coachella was it um Paris Hilton Paris Hilton DJ I mean she hasn’t did you see she she’s wandered around a deck she uh was the most random addition to the wishing leads good luck in the playoff final Who video Paris Hilton it was full of leads players and then just Paris Hilton no idea why she’s a big big leads F she was the original celebrity PA wasn’t she back in the deer she was like one of she was probably like 20 of my first 100 Banks some good stats stat boosting mathematician at heart um but I I’m not uh going to agree on Craig DAV because I think his uh career arst to be commended he was a laughing stock and came back as a [ __ ] like everyone s like them so no you’re the problem not Craig David he’s a nice man he’s he’s had enough [ __ ] leave alone you listening rean D nii go back to running your [ __ ] country Lisa says I cannot stand David atra I know everyone loves him and he’s meant to be a National Treasure but for what diddling a a few Gibbons Deone animal nons I don’t buy it n oh Lisa you can’t not like no I I back this one a little bit I don’t hate him but I don’t like people give him I don’t know bit too much credit he’s the nation’s Granddad he’s the nation’s Grandad and he’s shown us pictures of Wales in there my granddad never did that I know that’s why yours is [ __ ] mine was better mine look like mosal what your granddad looked like moal yeah he had an afro like back in the like early days is your grandad modern huh Egyptian uh no no I you all right Harry I was talking about this the other day like have you got Muslim Granddad you’re not the only one over there I’m not sure I’m not so no if if anyone asks no but like he could have been is I don’t know I’m not sure how much I’m allowed to say familywise but like his dad could have been his dad could have been but you don’t know yeah or was it like you admitted on here that your nana was a prostitute that’s his and now you’re getting all [ __ ] touchy uh yeah his mom was a prostitute so she could have been with several Finn said the thing that Harry was trying not to and the worry is that like if anyone listens to it oh Jesus are they alive no no my granddad isn’t but like yeah you can’t you can’t Li with the dead but yeah you look like Mo CL um I’ll say this about David atur no one else is going to be able to narrate no Nature Documentaries like the Heath Ledger of animal document hel a bonom Carter did one the Heath lger he’s just he’s he’s ruined it for everyone who follows there’s always going to be judges against that hel in the botom Carter did one and you’re like I’ve got to be for her I don’t like her yeah she creeps me out I think she’s trying to she was another 20 of mine original think Fight Club Fight Club yeah oh right yeah that was all CGI you know hell in a CGI all that sex teene was all CGI yeah yeah you’re one could essentially over a henai you can I think you can tell as well cuz again because it’s OG in it yeah um I think it’s called life on our planet planet and it’s on Netflix plan Morgan Freeman yeah is the voice and can I just say I know it’s not going to happen but Morgan Freeman has that sort of basic but if you replace Freeman you’re counting it’s a clock that’s counting down again yeah like 85 86 you get a good 10 years you don’t get a good 10 years you’ll get 10 years but you don’t get a good 10 years 87 not everyone lives to the same age D he’s already doing well you might come before that black don’t crack but it does die sh on incest don’t know can we we’re not giving him a we’re not giving Lisa a [ __ ] thing for not a chance Morgan Freeman would be a good replacement but he’s too old it would be good to hear him doing it you uh sha in says I’m looking at this horse and it’s [ __ ] another horse I’m more Freeman doing on F again again he’s been hanging out with kieren nightly that who did I accidentally do oh my God I did the hormo monster oh my God look at that fish swimming around looking for some fish [ __ ] that’s Sean in say Sean in say don’t know why but only a th000 Tigers left in the wild that’s Bill Clinton I did not have sexual relations with that tigan it’s a great DAV yeah that’s what he’s going to do that’s Buffalo this one species of SPID is over there with all his babies that sounded so good until he started the next bit is over there Morgan Freeman just not reading the script just okay I know how to do this Mor Freeman and then just start living like that’s a big whel look at the big wheel that’s a swimming in the sea se’s cold Morgan Freeman don’t like the sea Morgan don’t float like he used to look at that spider I don’t trust him sea in says don’t know why but Jesse Eisenberg oh oh Jess’s face really winds me up hav SE I don’t know whether it’s just because he played so well but I want to punch his [ __ ] he does he plays smug smug smug smug Jewish person very well he does play that role every role oh okay that is his shtick did you mean that did you know hear the St yeah he’s a Gob sh him it like and I’m sure it’s because he’s actually a really good actor but he’s such a convinc and annoying little prick yeah what’s the one thing I really like him in uh is it double Zombie Land yeah and then Zombie Land I don’t know why [ __ ] really works in that uh lenon MC McDade says Tim Westwood just an absolute goth his personality is just him trying to be A different race sex offender lital literal sex offender I don’t I don’t think that’s an irrational celebrity beef he ruined I think if someone writes in Bill Cosby as well let’s just just be like yeah bad guy hang on what’s the news about Tim Westwood when did this break years ago yeah 2005 is he a non yeah no no not I’m not sure if it’s non it’s definitely like bad me toed he got me he got he got he got me tooed all right well l m April 22 several women yeah right well you’re right Lennon Well Done and also on top of all of that he ruined Pimp My Ride Like the the one from Bri the exhibit one was class and then he ruined it he’s that well we got to put a toaster in your glove box prick Morgan Freeman would have been so much better oh got I’m put some spinning rims on that c I’m Morgan Freeman Fraser Nixon says this is controversial always hated Jack Black no he’s a class voice actor but when he plays himself he’s really dislikable no he isn’t he’s probably the greatest human that’s ever lived actually he just bounces around dress he dresses for him that’s what I like about him we’ve said it before Jack Black phenomen P I wouldn’t have I wouldn’t have any worries if they were like you know what Jack Black’s down at poges if he was a gobshite that would be heartbreaking he’s just so obviously isn’t though yeah like he just so OB have you I don’t know whether we spoke about it on here but there was a story of um I don’t know where in the world it was I think I don’t know why I’m thinking this where they closed the bar yeah I think it was it Japan it’s somewhere in the world and he was filming somewhere right and he got a friend of his to go to a bar and say will you just stay open for us Jack Black’s in town he’s filming he’s filming till late and we we just need somewhere to have uh some food and drinks and we just love he to just stay open just for us so they kept the restaurant open he turned up he like they would all sat around like just talking and someone was like we could do some can someone just go and get a guitar they got a guitar and they just sat around till 6:00 in the morning just singing But then gave like thousands of dollars in tips to the staff who stayed stayed open because he’s just sound me that told you that story was it yeah class it was I had about halfway through that I went this isn’t a real it’s me it was in New Zealand when I was at the Comedy Festival they were like this happened and I’ve never been so happy to hear a story and at the end they were like they they had his credit card and they were like it was it was like $55,000 or something cuz they just blitzed it and they put a higher fee and he’d been okay with it and then he tipped like twice that all like a $3,000 tip Good Egg [ __ ] love him that one in by the way just stop listen to the podcast you’re not welcome here anymore is there any other celebrities unless what are there any other celebrities that you think would do that or are as sound Jack Black is up there for not only I think there’s a lot of celebrities would hire a place and be like listen here’s my credit card and do this but he let anyone that worked there stay in hang out that was that was why they loved him he wasn’t like listen you just work here he he had people like they were like oh my mate is around the the corners like he’s been at a bar and he was like get them over like they look there’s very few celebrities like you’d hope that will Ferell would be that sound but like the the truly love celebrities I don’t think Kevin Hart would be like that I think he’s got his Entourage and like that’s the perception that he’s incredibly friendly he’s sound he’s good comic no one’s got a bad word to say I don’t think he’d be as open to everyone just like sitting out hanging out having a smoke I think a lot of celebrities present themselves as sound because it’s the right thing to do and I think sometimes you see through that and I’m not accusing anyone of being like that specifically but what I’m saying is I think with Jack Black It Shine through that he’s not doing that he’s just being him at all times I tell you what do you know when I worked in zeligs right U my first ever bar job I don’t know whether I’ve told this story on this podcast well because we’re nearly five years in and H there’s going to be repetition sometimes do you know who the sound of celebrity for looking after the stff Wass that ever came in every time they came to the bar there was like I think six of them three Lads three girls and they would come the bar and they would give me the card and the round would be like 25 quid and they go just take 70 they would just tipping like 40 and 50 Quid AO Jes every single round do you know it was Callum best you could have given me all day got that where he got his money from his dad his dad and also he was like that might run out at some point he was like a reality TV guy for a while and then a DJ wasn’t he so he was on the was on the back to the djgan Freeman was Morgan Freeman’s been DJing at Coachella that was it I’m playing the song I’m frean I’m playing this one again I’ve lost my songs it’s really tickling me every time I’m teaching this DJ course I’m more he’s teaching that’ be a sick drop though wouldn’t it I’m Morgan Freeman to bring a war plug Charlie on that and make sure the speakers are good and now cuz everybody’s hearing is Not So Good Sam says this is going to upset Finn however mine has to be Liam Gallagher there’s somethingone about him that just screams I’m an attention seeking Manchild who still thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread if I was to ever see him in person I’d be more likely to [ __ ] in a bag and throw it at them big talk there Sam uh then even consider asking for a picture or an autograph I think you do neither I understand this one and you’ve got to understand it I understand it but I reject it I reject it I again I all I really need from people is authenticity and he is very authentic and that’s that’s a Persona he a rockar I don’t think it is no he’s so sound on podcast and stuff by all accounts he is he’s the sound one who will make time for people and will do like videos of people if they ask also when he when they came out in the ’90s he like him being a [ __ ] Gob sh and having attitude it’s what we all wanted we wanted someone it was great you like wanted someone to be like a bit of a dick it was cool yeah there’s a lot of the stuff that they did back in the day that they would not get away with now but that’s what makes it so like what [ __ ] the Wembley 2000 um he got bladed he was going through divorce uh court and stuff and he went right I want to see a pair of breasts on this screen right [ __ ] now and the camera’s like where the [ __ ] and there’s a woman going way and it’s like [ __ ] mad [ __ ] I don’t know whether you wouldn’t get away with that now I me cuz as long as she’s took her own top off I think V is still in 2024 just on side that’s important if you’re at a rock show and the cameraman’s searching don’t go she’s got a pair of tit hey Liam I’m even here with it mad yeah no I’m not I’m not having this please don’t put this one through it’ll upset me you you can decide no no no Liam sound uh irrational doesn’t listen can be the Jack Black one you threw it out there it’s fine it was irrational we wanton them celebrity beefs let’s have a break what’s happening LDS how are we time to tell you about my absolute favorite sponsor love honey.co promo code is we2 for 20% off sitewide now if you’ve been listening for a while maybe you’re into your sex toys by now maybe you’ve got a few things from love for you maybe a few outfits dressing up for your partner getting them all Ted on you know sometimes you need a bit of lube to help you get going go in the in the [ __ ] can go in the vagina go wherever you want but it makes somewhere easier to put stuff in and out of but on top of that they got this brand new range of stuff uh they’ve got like different flavored ones over here this is the passion fruit one but there’s loads of different flavors and there’s also some that can give you different Sensations for example this is the quiver one gives you little tingles this one’s a more comforting one whatever you’re after from your Lube love honey can provide it love honey.com UK promo code we 20 get yourself some outfits to make it sexier get yourself some sex toys to make you come harder and get yourself some lube to make your [ __ ] going an [ __ ] a little bit easier Hatty Preston is here second appearance in just a few mon yeah almost like someone forgot to book a guest or something I yeah do you know what Hatty like I say what a lot of people say a lot of things about you okay thank whatever they say you know what you know what no matter what everyone else says you are local you know what I mean you’re right around the corner biggest compliment I’ve had actually thank you very much you’re so near to the studio like who’ll be free on a Sunday the single childless [ __ ] who’s probably not in church sick are you still fully childless cuz I know you were trying to get some [ __ ] last time don’t point it down when you say c this was like this was not it was like put the com um yeah it was and also on that I should thank you very much for all the offers of sperm I got in my DMs after this episode I really appreciate any suitable matches I don’t know one of the message and his opener his opening Gambit was um I know you’re double my age but I like you better be 12 Young Come pardon youngc yeah it was yeah absolutely oh wow do you know what’s going on um don’t listen I’ve got the so hatti uh wants a baby but she don’t want no foot and man and M she wants her foot and baby in her foot and belly but she don’t want to wipe any Man’s eyes ladies independent right okay is that something you still want or the DMS from 12-year-old put you off oh no would never um I I don’t think she’s like necessarily going for our listeners as their source she’s going to there’s like a special government building can go and get some yeah all right we’ll be really offended if you’re trying to get some off menu come that’s all I’m saying I’m really sorry no I absolutely I would never I would never I’m not that high brow uh I know it was it’s all been great I haven’t actually told you this one lovely thing came from that sorry lots of lovely things came from the episode I love you all dearly and it was wonderful one lovely lovely thing they did up in the midst of all my messages about like how much they want their beautiful children to crawl out of me direct quote uh that was my favorite and uh gentlemen there was this one girl who L into my messages and she was like hi I’m really this is probably bit weird and out there it’s like promise you this is not weird and out there but uh she was like I just want to you know yeah I really hate mine she was like I’m um I just want you to know like I’m also trying to throw a baby by myself and going through rvf and it was just so lovely listening to someone talk about it and be sound and fun about it and she’s like if I just want to say thank you so much and but if you ever wanted to go for a coffee or talk to someone then and now we’re like really good mates and I was with her for brunch this morning and we meet up and we have and we have like she’s such a she’s my friend oh if you want to get laid get to that [Laughter] brunch she actually her name is lanaa and she’s my loveliest friend and it’s so thank you very much I’ve got a brand new single mommy friend um has she got her kid no she’s in the she’s say was me so she’s in the middle of it we we’re going along actually quite similar timings but she’s and she’s you told me a few months ago that you were like it was like the end of the month you were getting yeah it was and then they [ __ ] it all up yeah the clinic [ __ ] up sorry I’m not supposed to say that but they [ __ ] it all up so I went absolute full red head but now and now we’re back on for for next month um and everyone’s terrified of me which is actually my favorite place to be in the world um we know so it’s happening you’re doing it doing the thing Dan doing the thing oh my God I know it’s really fun she actually lanaa has this amazing story like it’s so funny when you’re doing it by yourself because I guess it is still the the Rarity like it is still usually couples who are just struggling or a bit older or have Pro you know so when you do by yourself apparently Lor had one and they do the like you know jam it up you and they leave you there for a bit to have it all like settle and um and the lady as she was leaving she was like now listen just for the next few weeks just try not to have uh sexual intercourse if L was like I mean if I was batting them away with the stick I don’t think we’d be in this position the two of us were like how do you think we’re going like how do you think our sex lives are going if we’re here be like can you just Bas it up there and hope for the best you’re [ __ ] she thinks you’re [ __ ] but like not you yeah maybe maybe she thinks we’re just like mad [ __ ] would just but like not not this not this bit we’ like had kids to be normal picky whes oh you’re going to get to be a parent without anyone telling you what they think you should do or naming it water Tor which she’s also going to be one of those annoying Comics you know like when Comics get a dog and they always bring it to the gig it’s going to be hassy with the baby in it oh just look at me baby while I go and do me clothes and so get used to that well the only the only comedian has ever done that at gig with me it was Katherine Ryan did she take your baby or did she give you her she didn’t take Katherine Ryan does not steal babies just want to make that CLI she had a kid she had a kid at like the original Lo in headingly which is like a proper 120 SE max circuit gig and she was like I’m so sorry my she was literally on her iPad so in terms of power move unable I’m going to do it yeah I I but the problem is Brennan asked me to hold his dog last week for a gig and I [ __ ] it up and dog ran on stage so I’ve really like really like I tell that to the people at this way Clinic BR I was like oh my God BR this dog just appeared I was like I had one job one J so you got names are you already you already at stage already sat yeah cuz I don’t have to run no I’m not going to Reve at all cu no cuz someone will steal it La will have it no you don’t you I just pass a question do you think you’re done are you like Che and done or you oh we we are medically done oh you’re okay yeah yeah yeah well chucked the last baby out they cut just off yeah that’s what they did that’s what they did and that’s how they describ babies out choity chop on you fing go that’s what they did don’t they and over went in the B yeah yeah and Laura can’t remember it being agreed she was just like there yes like do you want us to do this cuz you seem stupid flattered with oxytocin in love you can do what you like yeah so no it’s definitely not happening again we’ve got our little team and I don’t want anymore that’s really nice I always find it quite weird when people won’t like reveal their names yes same I just think there sort of like a jinxy aspect to it like let’s just get this kid out and home yeah before we start I already know the names I want and I tell everyone who asks jiny what jinxy row I just don’t like people are like one of my best mates has got a baby here in um July and I said to something the other day I was like have you got names and he’s like yeah and I was like what is it and he was like I can’t tell you I’m like I’ve known you since when were four yeah like tell me what you’re calling your [ __ ] baby yeah you’re so Jordy to so JY today no you can’t people steal people definitely steal people have already gotten them that did that happened in my family um cousin one cousin was born first they told the other ATI the name and then she named it the exact even the same middle name that was that’s grounds for split like family splitter yeah that that ATI is dead now so I don’t know what happened there Jesus Christ I don’t know what happened there I was I was little then I’m so sorry that’s huge that’s that’s family I like Zach and I like Elijah okay and figure out where both of those have come from you where think from the country sing No Dingle no Eon good guess though School of Rock cool name I just like the name and it was in that and Eliza yeah do what Eliza Manelli do little no it’s Eliza from Hamilton good really good yeah really and also I like Adam yeah no I figured that that checks out you’re absolutely someone who do Adam junor no I wouldn’t yeah you I would do Vinnie though which was Me original name okay was it is it your other way around yeah was I was Vincent though for a week how many Jurgens are there in in in Liverpool do you think we literally said that the last time I was on the podcast I was like there’s GNA be so many Jurgens next year in Liverpool no I will promise you now that’s not my best two German yeah it’s too much if his name was like Olie then be Alfie and Alfie Alfie wanted to call his most recent child D but uh genuinely but Jesse VTO that’s so they such a cool name spelled like that Becka is cool as [ __ ] yeah yeah see there’s all these options just I what I want to do to make it like native scous is just call it R something just call it R Darren like straight off the bat you know that’s not what we do that belongs to us there’s not there loads of people like AR Kelly I I’m not taking any risks he a scout he’s a scout he belongs to Liverpool you can have him no I’m not taking any risks I’m just calling it our first name and then second know yeah straight off the bat so if I guess the name will you tell me no I’m not going cuz you won’t guess it no cuz I’m a bougie [ __ ] you won’t guess it oh are you going for like a horrible celebrity like apple or some [ __ ] time prun oh no prune yeah prune Preston absolutely really good how did you get in there it just jumped off oh is it an Arty one no it’s like a it’s like it’s not Arty it’s like B Bono Preston yeah absolutely oh God deep no are you going really fancy you no it’s not fancy it’s just but Niche I wouldn’t do fancy I don’t really like fancy names but like just a bit I I have that thing I don’t want there to be another person of that in the same class Clement Clement Atley yeah great no AB well put that Ruby not telling you it’s Ruby is it’s [ __ ] Ruby Ginger Ruby I guess that right didn’t I Ruby laugh you’re very close you’re am I Rudy no oh it’s Ruby or Rudy thanks Heather Heather Heather is so great do you all go really hard go St mad like Linda do you know what I mean like fuckind our Linda she better be born 54 and smoking oh she will be this kid needs to come out rich as all this kid needs to come with a great there a girl my sister goes to UNI with who’s 19 and she’s called Margaret God it’s they’re all coming back though is like the like the Martha and the mabes they were coming about Margaret Margaret but is she Maggie no she’s Margaret Maggie is good Maggie’s great is ETA short for anything not sure about that etymology yeah yeah yeah couldn’t think of where we get so lovely um with we’ve had loads of etas named after my ETA I’ve had tons of tons I’ve had several messages over the last few years ago and we’ve just had a little kid and I’ve not told my wife where we’ve got the name from but we’ve gone with ETA I really like the idea of that do you like it or do you get a bit like oh would you stop choosing my name no but but the thing is with the stealing names I know you’re like doesn’t matter I’ve picked them if you in your close circle of mates or family yeah you can’t have four [ __ ] eters no you can’t just doesn’t work no that it’s fine if someone else’s got the same name as your kid but if you’ve got three cousins with the same [ __ ] all Zachs that is annoying is it yeah it is annoying so if someone else is prgo you do have to keep the sort of then you can just pick another name can’t you like I like those names but it’s not like the end of the world if like a Jack has a baby before me and he calls his kids Zach then I’d just be like you know what I’ll just call him Bruce or something yeah that’s the second option is it Bruce Bruce or Mighty so where’ you get the name of don’t know just came to me so know I’m watching a lot of films oh God do you know I found out the other day why redheads are called redheads you said redhead about 15 minutes ago and I haven’t stopped thinking about anything since and I’ve barely listened to um so you know uh the the fruit orange M right so there’s a is anyone else concerned about how Okay car so you know the fruit orange so there’s a there’s a chicken and egg question about the fruit orange and it’s whether the fruit orange came first or whether the color orange came first yeah right yeah yeah yeah and it’s neither right the answer is the tree so the orange tree was the thing and it was nothing to do with the color of the foods it was just the tree that had those things on yeah and back then orange wasn’t a color in language it was either called yellow or red it was like dark yellow or light red right so back then orange was more commonly red than yellow so a lot of people would say anything that was orange they say that’s a shade of red like a light red and then or because of the orange tree and the fruit that came off it they started saying like well this is an orange this is well right and then they were like right well this is now the color orange and things that with that color starts to get called orange but red head so like so far predates that that it’s stuck with it and that’s why people with orange hair get called redheads yeah orange head doesn’t have the same ring to it does it you’re orange there’s no blue in Italy as well there’s no word for blue there ain’t no black in the Union Jack there’s no there’s no there’s no word for blue word for blue even though national team plays in a blue K like what color is that I don’t know we never name it you say 4 t-shirt why you turning colors so they have azour I think which is like which is like light blue and then they have dark blue but they don’t have are blue no no no they can’t have light blue and dark blue if they don’t have blue because no but they’re different colors it’s it’s like after the sky and after the sea but there’s no like middle ground and yeah oh like you know what you’re thinking when you say something’s blue royal blue yeah yeah well they probably don’t have Royal do they uh fascist blue this is such Niche color knowledge what have you guys been doing this week this is really great I’ve H been quite depressed for two weeks so I’ve just been on Tik Tok is he feeling quite blue he’s been to Tik Tok University this wasn’t this wasn’t an article but I did Google it afterwards and I’m pretty sure it was right great can we can we stick with redhead I just I just don’t want to take orange hair I’ve got a jeanja baby have you yeah you lucky boy little Trixie is no I’ve got um Jack is is jeaner and um his cousin my my sister’s kid Jean we’ve got two little Jean three-year-olds they both boys both boys yeah um my sister’s a bit worried about how that’s going to play out long term like it’s she’s really worried about future different pry CH here’s the thing at Jack’s age I had that color hair and I don’t know what happened it just went so it could happen I had blond when I was his age I was fully Ginger Ginger yeah as a child do you get Ginger bits in your bin you have freckles still I have chinger bits in my I don’t have freckles cuz I’m okay foreign right my mom was jer no there you go it’s recessive I think it’s yeah ginger has to be recessive so it has to be on both sides but it’s recessive so my parents my mom is like very very dark featured my dad was again blond went Brown and I came out of absolutely nowhere and it cuz it’s on side secretly was there any school any any Ginge based like bullying going on well sure but I think this is where it’s different for ginger boys and ginger girls like we’re like ginger girls are [ __ ] [ __ ] like we’re we’re T like we’re [ __ ] like hard work why you think the boys generally are on the side of like being quite sweet and meek and like do you actually believe that like someone’s personality is attached to their hair color no just with redhead just with redhead yeah just ask cuz we’re the chosen people but uh but also I think like there’s like a very there’s a belief that like Ging G women are like sexy there is a belief I yeah can you believe that becomes a thing doesn’t it now like it’s a genre of porn but there’s no like ginger men genre of por there’s not there’s not I’m not having a go with your son I’m sure he’s going to be a very handsome cha very great por yeah no but that is true it is different okay here’s one does Jack have a does Jack have a temper because this is where I think Ginger women get yeah so it’s not that he’s angry all the time it’s that just a temper there’s like a not to 60 which is unfathomably Fast Fire every ginger has that like it’s that is and that is a like there’s no we can be fine fine fine I can be have like the best day of my life and then someone stands still at the top of escalators and I will [ __ ] snap a neck like I I just think that’s you being a Gob I don’t think that’s anything I think you might be secretly Ginger this is I don’t know this is all checking out I don’t have a temper no [ __ ] are you talking to no you don’t have a temp because you signpost it too well yeah I don’t signpost it so it turns out that Ginger’s um need more anesthetic yeah with when you put out yeah what you just don’t you just there also because they feel pain more yeah they they’ve got more like sensitivity we can yeah and but there’s also a thing of they said we bleed more as well which is really interesting so if you you feel pain in you bleed and I’ll prove it if you if he ever Cuts himself like he’ll bleed a lot longer like it takes a long time for it to stop I asked a woman this when I was a woman a nurse and I was like could I just ask who just a random woman on the street spoken R for two weeks um I was like can I ask when I like Nick myself shaving it bleeds like for ages just so but tiny but for ages and she just looked at me she’s like yeah CU you’re redhead like what she’s like ask any Midwife in the world redheads just bleed the most there’s just I don’t know what it is is that a hemophilia must be something to do with that if it’s how something travels around the body then that would check out with the anesthetic thing but yeah wow just stuff to know for Jack if you need any more pointers pleas Stop Shaving my baby I’m say right now I’m yeah cuz we’ve beeny the him yeah yeah just no ginger boys are nicer they’re a lot sweeter he’s getting there when you say uh you said someone’s worried about the longterm gingerness are you you talking bullying is that what you’re talking about I think that’s yeah that’s the concern yeah well the thing is if he wasn’t going to get bullied because he’s a red he’s going to get bullied for something isn’t he I think you’re just a lad especially if you go to an old boy school yeah they’re going to find you might as well have CU otherwise like the school people will dig deep on you and find out something about you or I do think being good at sports circumvents all bullying I think that’s I think that’s an absolute G Jeffrey if you’re good at sport you’re sort of and that’s boys and girls sort of protected from from that a lot of homophobic abuse to girls who are good at sport yeah I but but you’ve still got your gang you know what I mean if like I was had a you’re always part of the team so that you’re sort of protected to a point I mean girl school’s Savage is absolutely rrific but you’ve got you’ve got what I’ve seen did you go to an old girl school yeah and was it bad awful there is I think that’s why no experience I’ve ever had since girl school has been as awful as as as hard as like emotionally mentally hard as girl school so I went to an old boy school right next to an old girl school and in my head they were all just like reading to each other all day and giving each other compliments P fights it is ungodly like what we are doing it’s I call it I it’s the most like gorilla Warfare where you can’t see it you can’t see the attacks that coming but they are coming and you just you can’t tell where it’s next coming from you can’t tell who it’s going to be from but you are under Fire all day no we’re too good we’re too smart it’s never physical it’s this like emotional mental like you get inside people with with women it’s a lot of kind of hide in it hide in a a dig in a positive like you’re so brave like I couldn’t pull that off that’s so brave what you’re wearing that’s not just women it’s gay men as well yeah oh and that’s why we love them yeah cuz so good at it they’re the best it’s so pretty it’s like that thing of um I worked for a woman once I was nannying and uh she came I came down one day and I was I had a show in the evening and obviously you look like [ __ ] when you’re nannying because there’s there children with like yogurt on their hands the whole time so and know I came down I was on my way out for a show and I Put A Lash on and she she came and she walked downstairs she goes babe you look lovely and I was like oh thanks but she goes don’t feel like you can’t make an effort every day and you’re like oh and it’s that it’s a smile and it’s a like no darl was just I just say you look so lovely and you’re like you weren’t though like you weren’t you were saying I your [ __ ] every single day it just sounds like you can’t take compliments there must be she was being nice to yet and you may negative would have just taken it yeah thank you you maybe would maybe you’d be so good at an orasal cuz it would all just be like I’d be like Everyone likes me so much no it wouldn’t just be that like I’d just be like yeah they might think they’ve got one over on me but at the end of the day they’re all just stupid yeah that’s right yeah you’ve got them you got them gently done chly done Mr R oh you the [ __ ] idiot of course I am back to your class below mine yeah I don’t think all boy school there wasn’t like the mental Guerilla Warfare going on it’s more physical isn’t it it’s just a load of lads being noeds to each other yeah in the first week of year seven I beat alad in a game of short tennis and went to go and get AEL that only short what short is that for only short people no but thank you ni you found your SP stupid thing um it’s a it’s underarm save short cut with wooden paddles it’s paddle board right um and I beat him in a game with that and he went to get a chisel to stab me with and I found out last week that he’s actually in prison now because he killed someone is another one yeah [ __ ] get on the list St boost needs to be like like you know in Top Gear where they had the board yeah we’ll just get it out for Cardinal Heen well I went to um I I I went for the game of golf last week with two of The Lads I went to school with and we were just like reminiscing about all all the people we uh what sorry I said day release and we was talking about the people we went to school with and started Googling people that we’ve sort of forgot about who were like rough Lads and uh yeah there’s well more than I thought that are actually in prison and more Ms and uh violent crime and congratulations the version of that I’ve got in my school is the amount of girls who went on to break up marriages really crushed it like really nailed it like the numbers are through the roof where they were like I could use this fantastic education and get a job or I could break up a guy who’s already got a fantastic job and they did like what the having Affairs yeah yeah yeah having Affairs getting them getting the fella yeah step moming for life and they’ve nailed it absolutely nailed it oh my God I know see smart is it smart though how can you find that out on Google no cuz they not like on their LinkedIn page like did it again girls also what women are really good at is finding information on the internet oh God we’re unbelievable it’s absolutely insane a friend of mine got like uh some messages recently from a like a a fake account that was made to look semi-real on Instagram and they were just a bit like stalkery and uh a female friend of man I told her about it and she was like uh I’ll find her and I was like no you won’t like it to the count she was like she did in 10 minutes was about a half an hour maybe and she’s like this is it and she was right it’s since been like she was right and there was nothing to go off I don’t know what they do she wouldn’t tell me what she was doing she let me to it it all like an Illuminati the little woman Illuminati I love it that’s a weird Kink to be into is it the breaking up a it is there’s a there’s a comedian we all know yeah who um slept with a girl after a gig and he was single so fine yeah but she had you know on a night out when you go and watch Comedy she had a few drinks and I think she’d watch someone else to stand up about his family and then thought it was our mate who was single and decided I he’s married and went up and you know as a whenever you in that situation where you’re like you know you’re getting laid you know when just straight from the AR like as long as I don’t [ __ ] this up this is a tap in she she was giving off all the signs she was like yeah I want to go back your signs yeah walking through the comedy club hi and went back to his hotel room was like oh my God yeah like let’s like whatever so joinan the thing was like oh tell me about your wife while they were like getting ready to have sex and he was like what was like call me her name so like wanted him to ring his wife while they were having sex you’re like que just ring our mate who will not be named but is a legend went along with it and she was like oh yeah she’s called like Mandy and he was like oh tell me about Mandy and he was literally just making this up and then and then like to went join like you know our phoner went to use his phone and ended up just listening to like a WhatsApp from Barry dods to make it seem like he was using his phone like oh she’s not she sounds B she’s oh I’m going on a ghost hunt with me friends what are you she smoking but that was a whole thing anyway in the morning just for his own entertainment was like oh yeah I’m not married and she went [ __ ] ballistic like if I ever ring you like late at night and I go you’re like babe just play the [ __ ] game doess Hello pet how are you doing yeah I would I’d absolutely be your wife probably ring not yeah yeah yeah I well yeah be really good at it I think yeah I think yeah it be good I just you know you didn’t take the bins out like good stuff like you know wives and husbands talk by my experience with wives and husbands and I still hate your scatter cushions like good stuff like that have you cuz obviously you Nan for a while I did in the states in America America and uh really yeah yeah looked after other babies that’s why she can do it all on her own I love Jordi Ro have you uh watched like marriages fall apart can you say you know I got really lucky in the states everyone I worked for they and I’m not just saying this they were unbelievable I loved loved loved all the families I worked for I remember there was one family who it wasn’t in the states it was over here and I remember watching it being like Mother of God like yeah you but I think an nanny is a very very like sacred holy like position in the family where you just see it all like you see absolutely everything and and you it’s yeah definitely but I [ __ ] it that I think that I don’t know if that’s partly why I want to do it by myself is the like oh my God also you saw Posh families I saw Posh families and it is very different and and just that yeah it is they they communicate mad like there’s no I came from a family where like my parents had rouss like big old blaring rouss and and obviously like listen it’s not always but there’s something kind of healthy and honest about that do you know what I mean like when it’s like [ __ ] like get me out of this car and it’s just great like and then they kiss cudd and they’re fine afterwards but it’s the like passag do you know what I mean it’s that like passag they’ll [ __ ] chip away at you man over time I think I got a question hit me have you you obviously you’re going to you’re going to a Spain bank to get the the baby and stuff and you’re going to raise this child I seen an article recently read an article about a woman who did this and then like about five six years in was like this is odd and I’m skinned and through the spam bank got in touch with the fella and he was then forced to pay child support no you’re not allowed but it was a thing though cuz I read an article in America yeah yeah yeah did you read an article did was it on Tik Tok no it was an article okay fine okay that I found from Tik Tok there was a video article yeah but then the guy like she she did the video and the guy did a reply to it and then I went and read the article about them they were in the news oh but I think that’s the American thing it’s so protected over here like it’s so legally protected in that when you can reach out to him what about at what age what they owe you like it’s really protected yeah also for this guy who maybe goes say you’re I had a mate who did this when when he was younger and skin and worked out that you get like you got like 25 quid or yeah it’s expensive over here it’s it’s you every time you [ __ ] you got 25 quid I think he did all right off it like I think there was a limit of how much they what if you were going around all the sperm banks going this is cool I turn up 25 quid a jiz you could have 400 kids out there what if they all turn around and went we need and you can’t that it’s really protected over here it’s also really protected about how many women you’re allowed to supply too because of over here incest reasons cuz we’re so we’re like a small island what’s the catalog like you know when you bre browse through so great I tell you you see a profile it’s not catalog it’s online obviously because it’s not like I mean God bless it was catalog like Argos back in the day do you mean with a pen I the bit that got me so I I start with the American ones cuz there’s loads more of them in California they have on whether you see the pi picture of the F like you see his actual picture of him and I was like this isn’t the right way to choose this because I’m treating this like Tinder and I don’t want to [ __ ] my kid you know what I mean like no it’s important you really famously don’t want to do that that’s good though it’s good Instinct thank you why you pick a fat ugly fell you don’t want to [ __ ] and then you have a fat ugly kid and you never i’ to give it back um don’t shave him don’t ginger kid can you bear I’m not doing it you i’ give it back yeah um so so that was through me because I was like I don’t need his picture actually because this is really it’s more like e-harmony where like Jeff’s are you know really into the Arts they are Diane it’s so funny and what’s so wonderful is watching Men describe themselves like listening to men describe their best bits like my absolute favorite the one I initially really really wanted was um he was a guy and they have like random questions on like the sidebar just to be like little bit about me you know like favorite animal favorite ptime like that [ __ ] his on his favorite animal it said other she reck it was meant to be [Music] was it was better than that other I like say first of all this guy has gone to the drop- down animal box and been like my favorite animal is not on the drop which is like amazing that you as a man feel so strongly about your favorite animal that you’re like it’s not here but then you could we all do okay but then you you could click on other so I was like oh my God he’s made them write it down he’s not just but other and left it he’s been like No And and the mother of my child needs to know what it is what was it piranha that’s CL his favorite animal why other why not just piran cuz obviously it wasn’t on the drop down obviously like it’s like donkey dog cat like one of the most dangerous before dog and cat piranhas are [ __ ] cool though yeah piranhas are cool piranhas are the best fish for a if you a guy yeah you meet so your sister’s dating someone and he goes do you know my favorite animuffin while while she’s just making a cup of tea yeah piranas speaking of fin that’s [ __ ] cool he needed me to know that like catalog on these catalogs you have everything about them every chromosome everything their fames died of every coloring they have every Freckle on that he needed me to know that his favorite animal was piranha they asked him he didn’t he didn’t he didn’t write the prompts he could have just said cat then you’ve got a liar on your hands and then you want a liar lion SP this is this is an honest man really good he’s an honest man and he that’s why I initially chose him and then it said what’s your favorite pastime and he said weaponry and he said what’s your favorite possession it was firearms and I was like I absolutely want this man he’s class couldn’t get him he’d already spunk too many girls up Hatty if you had to get one Lads to inseminate you what questions would you ask like one the things I need to know yeah one of my favorites was um how many of them were like obviously unbelievable a sport that was my favorite is they’d all be like unbelievable at sport and then they’ leave i’ I’ve never lost a five a best of five game of tables H us ever oh I’m in play for real butter me up I am in I’m a phenomenal phenomenal women’s hockey player there you go do you get with my in a series of uh preseason friendlies Jesus okay wel Prem gap on how are you Gap uh I was the disabled one so I was putting goal so I’d probably kind of fall out of this kind of sports thing like braan disability epileptic but because I was like staring off into space they’d put me in goal that must make you quite a good goalkeeper if you’re like yes so what yes so what they I’d be go where’s he going where’s he going and I’d stare up into space and then the ball had come and all the parents go Harry and then had The Hive on purpose or medically both okay are you feeling turned on yet yeah I really am absolute horn star into space put the strobes on oh my God this is so hot I really like this uh any other questions no what’s important what are you looking for no I don’t cuz I told you this and you laughed so hard you need shut yourself when you asked me this question last was it last time you were on ear or was it no it was when we were hot water you were in blackout do you remember I was dead drunk but yeah go he’s doing that thing where he was so Dr that his eyes were shut and he was still talking you know the thing he’s like that’s the best Adam I love that Adam and he he messaged me he messed me so many times I even be like come for a drink I was like I’m literally doing two shows like I’m absolutely he’s like H and then and then next minute turned up a hot water I was like sick good to see you eyes totally shut just like just ask me about my sperm donor which was awesome like what did you say you sat down and you like right you said exactly this question you’re like why did you pick you’re like I know you’re not going to tell us about him hang on he’s black and drunk black drunk call me drink I’m calling me if drink I’m coming down I’m coming down down I waset was all right sit down sit down what are you looking for I like sealers he couldn’t do anything he couldn’t see anything but he was absolutely locked in on like he’s like he’s like but how did you pick him but you was just like how’ you pick it you pick it so anyway I was sat there the most like Rogue room was like me Danny McCarley and Rob Thomas and Phil Chap and I was like this is absolutely where I wanted this conversation by the way so and um oh I’m a [ __ ] nightmare AR I I’m a [ __ ] nightmare mate and it’s class like the only reason this feels bad it’s because it’s about me if you telling me the story about anyone else I’d be like I [ __ ] love this guy because it’s me it’s so pathetic he was so great and so I was like okay um and I was like well the reason I picked him was he he’s kind kind is that what I did how’ you know he’s kind right because cuz he keeps cuz he keeps a lot of piranhas I remember this night by the way I was in poed and left half finder Guinness to go and have this conversation it and then went back obviously got what he needed and then [ __ ] off again and I was like Adam I was like he’s kind so when they donate their sperm and so when they finish [ __ ] in a cup in a hospital they they they they they write like a handwritten letter to whoever picks them to be like this is a bit no they don’t oh God and it turned up in [Laughter] crayon so he wrote hamon and I just my thing was like oh he sounds really kind and lovely and ultimately in 18 years time this Baby’s allowed to track him down if they want to and I was like I just want them to meet someone who’s not a complete raging [ __ ] so I picked someone kind this was like Christmas for him like he couldn’t get over the fact that he was like you’re such a [ __ ] idiot you’re such a [ __ ] idiot he’s like trust you to go I was like yeah I did I went for someone kind and I think that was the right thing and I stand by it so I’m sorry I have no soul but I do you know the way you say you can track him down when he’s 18 MH are you sort of are you spiritual at all yeah right are you in any way worried about like bumping into him and then they know like just like that cuz I don’t know whether you know there’s a story it’s from years ago Tik Tok no article the amount of magazines that get delivered to the studio sorry yeah so this is a true story this uh this kid in a car crash Jesus Christ from Horse and Hound from The Dandy car crash right yeah and H he’s an organ donor so they take his you know his his lungs and his heart and his [ __ ] whatever whatever he signed up for famous the bits they need he an [ __ ] and this heart is uh really useful and it goes into someone else like almost straight away because obviously there’s a show job than heart transplant as fella gets this kid’s heart right and uh years later does uh there’s like a parade or something right what show up his new [ __ ] and uh this fell who’s had the heart transplants is at the parade yeah this is such a great article just you retained for all the I’m starting to think Adams should be a journalist right kid di dis a new and a new [ __ ] it’s Pride oh God but this woman oh God I’m okay goes over to this kid this lad at the parade and uh she’s like can I ask you a really strange question but did you have a heart transplant and he was like yeah and she was like you’ve got my son’s heart and she just knew she was just happened to be at the same parade as this [Laughter] lad [ __ ] fing [ __ ] this woman is at a parade and she she’s she just goes to parades and H hang on I can smell my my dead son’s [ __ ] come here have you got a new [ __ ] that’s my son’s [ __ ] I’d recognize it anywhere on the breeze in this parade she just knew yeah so are you asking me if I’m worried that my child is one day in a car accident he’s in your [ __ ] no just if you order a p then some fell comes over to your kid and goes you’re my son and he’s right like if he’s just got the cuz that by the way can laugh all you like I might have some of the details it might not have been a parade right but the general gist of that story is pull that off there’s nothing it’s blood blood okay that’s what you’re saying I I’m more I’m more worried about is the story how you know we’re like estranged members of family meet each other years or dayer and then [ __ ] no yes you this is such a phenomenon so if people have been estranged at Birth or like a child was taken up for adoption or whatever and then they meet their connection yeah and they mistake it and they shag do they know they’re connected Z Will’s see thank you will and I are both extremely well read people the important articles yeah that’s like a thing because you mistake what is ultimately like DNA compatible like yeah do you know where you’re getting the the jiz from yes no geographically yes in this country no else Al else Al also you keep saying he have you is it a boy a little the donor big time thing there’s a limit on how Progressive we can be oh you want a man’s jizz you sorry I forgot to say he loves piranhas and his own dick this is all a woman’s jiz just piss I mean with your with your Offspring yeah have you can you tailor that I think you can but I’m going to right okay yeah you can but I won’t you get an American jiz oh soz I want to be confident huh right confident and kind yeah confident and kind and they’re going to be raised like you’re American like you’re half American no no no going to be scous they’re going be scous that’s why I’m calling it our American Dad yeah Posh my SC baby scab Ginger hair yeah the most confused child be the lead of maybe Jordi row guess who oh God that transplant thing is Real by the way I’ll find it in the Bri thank God thank God please do so great let’s let’s have that break for research purposes lades do us a favor yeah you love us don’t you you love this podcast it’s why you’re listening to it and especially if you’re watching on YouTube helps us immeasurably if you go and leave a comment like subscribe and turn the Bell on it it sends us through the roof with the algorithm it cost you absolutely not on a path from half a second of your life and helps us no end and you can follow on socials Cy yeah have a word pod I nearly dead my handle then have a word pod just give us a follow and comment and don’t just like something retweet it share it put it on your stories just be sound c not to be nice be a good egg and we are back for part four of four did you like it took his catchphrase I’ve never said that no didn’t like it shall we do some room 102 which is just like the show room 101 but totally different totally different legally um what what’s bothering you um right well obviously everything but um everyone who has ever worked at Joe and the juice okay thank it is for a place that sells juice and sandwiches and coffee which are three great things they are the most clinically depressed furious people I’ve ever met like they’re Furious every time you order anything from them it’s like I’ve just just wish leukemia on their cat they’re awful I hate all of them they are all vile really every go to I don’t think I’ve ever been in one go in one they’re awful every sold to me every go now every single Joe in the juice Nationwide everyone I’ve ever been to they are so Furious and angry with you for being in there and eating their food they’re awful is it a new one a new cuz there’s black sheep coffee now that’s relatively new in it yeah it’s next door in it right and then there’s Joe and the juice oh it’s awful if you only just got a Joe and the oh it’s [ __ ] awful awful the Liverpool won okay Black Sheep coffee is open really late as well yeah it’s open I like Black Sheep it’s good is it you have no beef with black sheep it’s very popular um your father’s demographic oh okay yes what’s demographic uh Muslims are you yeah Ginger yeah interesting that is has that rolled me out no no no no absolutely straight back in straight back in Finn you can walk past the black sheep coffee at like 9:00 at night and there’s just loads of Muslim guys just having like an espresso and it’s like surely you’re not to sleep now it’s very common that’s just a thing yeah they have like late night coffee oh the Italians famously love a late night [ __ ] espresso don’t they don’t know how that works throwing the juice is well too expensive that would be my be you think that’s why they’re Furious they’re probably on like minimum wage and they’re selling coffees for like 15 and they smoothies £850 it’s insane oh I hate them I hate all of them I think every single one of them like I reckon that the hiring process is like do you have absolute clinical rage and depression and they’re like yeah like get in here my guy get in in have you come through the Foster system yes I’m devastated and empty on the inside yeah get in here so how are they getting away is it good coffee the juice is really nice the juice is good but but not nice enough to be like spatter he’s really nice he’s so misunderstood it’s just a hard time for him um but he loves a Bronco I love that’s my one that’s that’s one of mine that’s one of mine do I need more in 10s um should we take turns listen you can get it in you can have as many as you want I’ve got one you go for one I have got one yeah it’s people who have no hurry at all now look I don’t need someone to be [ __ ] whizzing and wazzing around I don’t need someone under M an hour cooking but the people who are just like and they’re always old as well and that makes no sense cuz they’ve got less time left but like they’re just they should be quicker yeah like they just like people who just like walk around shops like but also change direction yeah sorry they stoned that but they I think they are I think they’re all potted off their [ __ ] right I hate it do you know what I mean though exactly just [ __ ] move like if I became Prime when I become Prime Minister walking Lanes in City centers fast lane and [ __ ] do like a [ __ ] Lane get out me Lane and if it’s a big city and there’s tourists it’s even worse is it yeah but I’ve got to think about that I think you know checkouts where they have like are cash or card or card only I think we should be splitting it differently I think there should be this Lane for people who want to chat yes this Lane for people who want to get their shopping and continue with their lives like how many times have you been sto by someone like oh it is nice today isin’t it oh no it is it’s lovely oh yeah we had a Lov what are you do it I don’t want to be sexist right but you know if I’m in a supermarket like Asda let’s say there’s no self-service checkout and there’s uh two cues yeah there’s two tills on and two cues if one of them has got six men on and the other one’s got two women I will join the six men because it will be quicker yeah cuz men are there to get their shopping and leave and the old women the two over there are going to talk about all their grandchildren and all their periods and all the other stuff yeah we we famously tell checkout stuff about our periods yeah especially old women with grandkids when I had that I’m 97 it never stops would you believe it but I was Ginger no I think that’s fair I people would no hoodie yeah yeah um we’ve got some pet peeves that we can use in the same sort of spot as room 102 Lee says pet peeve for you Lads when people say they are trying for a baby you’re not tricking anyone may as well just tell everyone you’re getting cream pied every night I have the almost exact opposite one which is when people get pregnant and then they sat there and they’re all like bump rubbing and they go we weren’t even trying you’re like did you have sex with that man cuz if not something awful has happened to you like no but there a difference between trying and [ __ ] if you’re having unprotected sex like a human being like we weren’t even trying to have a baby though is it I was trying to [ __ ] yeah yeah but he had four unprotected bunks on holay this week four by the way so great you the National Health Service free cream he wasn’t trying for the baby he was just trying to get off you say I said something I shouldn’t have said what did you say free cream pie service yeah on the NHS on the NHS and this is why we need to get rid of the Tories protect this beautiful thing protect the NH I know I think it’s a mental brag I think it’s a mental bra we weren’t even trying it’s like give the poor guy a break it just sounds like you got unic at home he wasn’t even I hate [ __ ] him did you ever have a teacher come in pregnant what did you ever have a teacher come in pregnant and you immediately think oh they’ve had sex your teachers had sex that’s a that’s a pretty sure fire thing that she did yeah exactly har no but I was we were in like year five and our teacher came and like where having a baby and if I we the class yeah the class baby and we’s going to take it home on a Friday most classes have fish or hamsters we’ got a baby we’re going to raise it class 5c having a baby and so do you all get giggly were you all like misses having sex yeah I I went to like a bit of a kind of secluded Village primary scho like only 10 people in the year so there’s only a handful of people that were like sorry real quick there were 10 people in the year and you still got made to play goalie that’s so ble car we’ll play with two men down I’ve never thought about that as well you just brought myself no you stay there F keep looking I am I had a similar thing but mine is more uh disgusting like so when I was sort of like uh 13 14 and I would see be like young girls who were a few years older than me like 16 17 and obviously when you’re short of 13 and that you’re doing sex ed at school and then you know they’re putting like condoms on bananas and cucumbers and being like make sure you wear this or whatever and I would see like girls who were a few years older than me who would get pregnant and I would literally have the thought she got cumed in that’s it I still have that thought now genely genuinely if someone’s pregnant I’m like yeah you you’re dirty you so literally you see a pregnant lady you’re like she goes all the way 100% absolute raw dog [ __ ] Champ well done oh my God I love that uh we got another one Paul says pet peeve when you’re phone in a family member or something and pass on your phone to someone else who talks for ages so you’re sat there waiting for your phone back with nothing to do that is a bit of that’s annoying yeah FaceTime it’s bad for now yeah my mother-in-law who’s just looked at after my kids for a week God bless her yeah she wonderful woman can’t just do audio phone calls she just doesn’t she just doesn’t do it anymore it’s all video chat and FaceTime yeah that’s it’s an old woman thing that is it just does she hold it in the right place oh but of course it it is then it has to be on speaker doesn’t it yeah so we’re in like a cafe and we’ve got cousins and other grandkids on the thing and it’s a busy Cafe it doesn’t work this is it needs to be at your [ __ ] head so you can hear them and they can hear you it’s just a mental know but then when that phone gets passed to anyone else that phone’s [ __ ] off I I’m never the one that offers my phone for that [ __ ] that no Lord there yeah ring Daddy can I see no you can’t [ __ ] see anything if people FaceTime me I button them and I text them and say what you want oh my God like I’m not FaceTiming anybody ever yeah and Instagram will you please for the love of [ __ ] delete the video call anyone in your DMs it’s so mental when you get just [ __ ] delete it shouldn’t be an option who’s doing that then don’t know don’t know what I’m saying is it’s just a weird thing in it well I follow this person on Instagram I’ll send them a message nah n I’ll video call them it’s 6: a.m. I’m on beak they’ll definitely want to talk to me uh my worst one for that is is when uh we speak to the family in Turkey you get passed around like a bong yeah you you get pass around like a bong you’ve got to speak to here’s B dad here’s Bob here’s the uncles here’s the aunties here the cousins is the family friend you met in 2004 all speaking Turkish to you all yeah and I’m going I’m doing the same conversation with them that I do which is hello how are you I’m good how are you see you can we hear it Finn can we hear your Turkish yeah how how conversation I have with them is it’s meraba is hello maraba and then Nas’s like how are you IM nazin yeah imas Zimmer got the KE Myas is like I’m sound how are you no no no it’s like CH is I’m also sound and then you’re like cool and the whole family puts the phone down somewhere it’s the whole family this kid’s [ __ ] boring he’s [ __ ] dry oh sorry that sounded sort of right and then I can’t think of anything worse than having to speak to me whole family on the phone a been on the phone at all when people ring me I’m like why are you doing this really what like why there’s a handful of people less that when they ring me I’m like happy to have a chat with them I enjoy itang a few Aster if scran is involved do you know what I mean like we just did it ordering I still would have rather you text me genuinely when you rang me and was like you want some food it’s immediate what if I missed the reply I’m on silent you’re also oh into Room 101 by the way just while you brought it up people who don’t answer their mobile phones you I’ve never known anybody anybody to be so blissfully ignorant of their phone but you just said you don’t take voice calls from people no I do I don’t take video calls if someone Rings me I answer it but pissed off I’m like what however if he’s ringing someone they better [ __ ] absolutely [ __ ] furious I do do answer it’s just not ideal but you you’re impossible to get old of unless you’re looking at your phone yeah he’s a really present parent I honestly will not be changing that anytime soon let me we all talk about it you know behind your back everybody you’ll phone each other we’ll hate I’ve tried to ring Dan again in the WhatsApp group that you’re not in the rest of us it’s all we talk about we have conference calls I’d be sound you can have a WhatsApp group as long as I don’t get join to another one oh my God I I hate them that’s a that’s 102 [ __ ] WhatsApp groups I can’t I like I no absolutely not someone asked me about a show they’re like do you mind if we add you to I was like do not absolutely do not copy and paste you lazy lazy boy oh yeah for gigs Fu for a weekend of gigs I’ve SE oh we’re going to do a WhatsApp group for the weekend so I I don’t mind the WhatsApp group unless we all agree that once the event is over can we just go cool I’m allowed to leave that without feeling bad Also if anyone at any stage puts anything in this WhatsApp group that isn’t date or a time or parking situation I will [ __ ] snap your neet and they’re like LOLs guys really you’re like no chatting there’s no chatting in a WhatsApp group there’s no random bits of chatter in a WhatsApp group how many are you in cuz grp I bet you’ve never left a a WhatsApp group um so Adam doesn’t delete anything I can’t bear it you’re one of those people with 8,931 emails aren’t you on I I’ll put the over under you being in 202 WhatsApp group so this is just as I’m going through my phone right now so I’ve got the the house group for the one where I live there’s the havw main group there’s the havw Management Group there’s the India for Zoe’s Place group there’s uh Lads in pajamas which is the tour group um there’s uh the creative Management Group which is the management plus will there’s six there’s Scout comedians there’s one called four balls one cup which is the golf group I’m in with three of you make some school there’s havw sponsors which is the HW management team Ry I found something to go in my run 102 there’s one called Paris which is still going from when I went to Paris for the Champions League final so that you can leave that one no Paris you can leave Paris but I don’t though because it’s me Alfie Ian stalen H Josh and Alfie’s Brother Louie and we all went to Paris for the Champions League finals no no so did but the last conversation in there was only on Monday so it’s still going I’m guessing that’s turned into a Liverpool based sort of chat um what’s next how many are we at we’re at about 12 here yeah uh there’s the what’s wrong with me toour Group which was the original ads with pajamas but that one’s also got will and vitorio in from when they joined us on the tour Victorio doesn’t wear pajamas um Mastermind special I don’t know why that was a necessary extra group but there’s that um there’s a group with Ian Cobin from Live Nation and Matthew and Will from uh tour stuff to do with the Empire and the arena content creators which is h a load of lads from Lockdown when we were all making our own stuff oh God that’s there’s there’s quite a few a lot that’s the answer a lot I’m going to start a WhatsApp group from this podcast record same yeah I’m in it as well yeah yeah yeah you’re in it yeah Lads and 9s them’s gone you still going through your WhatsApp messages yeah yeah no that’s good it’s really really good that was a really good segment clip it fin WhatsApp groups great ones go into room one or two 100% yeah they they are useful fine unnecessary and chatter in WhatsApp groups yeah oh [ __ ] ban I hate it absolutely hate it if I want to chatter with you I’ll we’ll we’ll go for coffee and we’ll have a nice chat I don’t this nope nope um Connor Greenwood says people acting uh like they’re on Goggle box while watching something on the TV just shut the [ __ ] up and watch it we don’t need a comment every 30 seconds what I can be guilty of that I agree with yeah yeah I I don’t mind I’m with someone I’m Comfort comment about the TV when I’m watching something someone wants talk about something else oh no you’re watching a film like do you know next week are we going to go in and I’m like you shut the [ __ ] up Jack Black about to WR a song on the spot here yeah but even people but if you’re watching something good and it’s moving along at like an adult’s Pace that isn’t like you know like there’s stuff going on I don’t want to have to pause to go what what do you mean what you asking that’s it’s just annoying we need to watch the thing yeah but I think that I think that’s a real like that can be the death of a couple like you have to watch TV the same you know how couples have like we when they’re like we’re watching this box set we’re watching this series there has to be an understanding that either you’re a couple who do not utter a [ __ ] sound throughout the whole thing or you’re a couple who stop and start oh absolutely no me and LZ we don’t tune in at the same time very often yeah but like last thing we were Bang into I think was House of House of Dragons It’s coming back in it yeah yeah that was a proper Watch Silent yeah sh up and also if I just if like my my phone goes and someone’s in a WhatsApp group probably she goes what are you doing and you’re like yeah that can work so right are what are you are you allowed to like ask a question about what’s going on no suppose so there’s a little B what do you think is going doing this yeah when you to be okay that’s not that’s why I was saying I was but it has to be pre-agreed what about if they’re asking what has happened so that’s insane those are insane those are insane people because you’re like I’ve been sat here too I have sat here for the same length of like where do you think she got that and you’re like so my mom’s banging to East Enders and I’ll ask her like can I just say one thing because of how you all speak I keep hearing you saying banging too like your your mom’s having sex to EastEnders and you’re having sex to house dragons but your to yeah I love that okay great and uh and I’ll ask her like oh what’s up with this fell that’s but I don’t but I don’t watch it I just tune in and be like Oh is he a bare knuckle box she she’s like yeah you go straight to hell you’re one of those you go straight to hell has changed there is there a knuckle Box’s new story line do you watch E standers with your mom I she’ll watch it and I’ll like her and my stepdad are Bang into it and I’ll sit he’s just listening with his eyes that’s so nice that’s so nice sometimes sometimes you get like you look at me like I’m a a puppy or something sometimes I get that little glimp in your eye where you go oh like you’re a goalie on a N9 pass and te I used to using as an insult for the rest of time I’m not saying about he’s just a bit you know he’s a goalie on a nine person I used to do it with Finn but you’re more cute than Finn yeah you’re like Leo DiCaprio I’ve turned 25 you f me off absolute Harry’s still got years of like sad bollocks to come out with on on that it’s that chair does it to people oh it’s really sweet uh let’s do some have a words you know OG hear it ja can you remember any of the can you remember any of the alternative names we had for the podcast before have a word MH cuz we called this a fourstar name we were like we could keep looking for a five but then was it something like what you on about it was something can I ask where LDS came from it’s a scism it is it’s a scous ISM when I first like when Adam was starting to do pro gigs and stuff yeah it’s about there was about that wasn’t it 2013 14 yeah yeah yeah and I started gigging with him a bit more we got on and like Rob Thomas as well like he had a show called Len Lavida Loca and I thought it was the funniest word play title cuz I didn’t know what liding was and they were like yes it’s just like lid like l l lid and I found it so funny that I I think that I just kept the thing going like f right lid yeah even though it’s not a really like no loads of Scouts aren’t liding are they it’s a bit like is it a bit like hack Scout it’s not that it’s you know there’s a lot of complexity to the scous Lexicon and the way it works with uh Scouts is that it sort of said unrealistically so I would never say oh Dad I’m going to Pub with the lids I’d say I’m going to Pub with the lads but then I’d turnar up in the pub and go you like lid right so it’s when you’re almost affecting more scous like you’re like you almost going and and leaning into like all right L yeah yeah all right or like you might put on uh your Instagram like a group picture of me like boss night with the lids but it’s not real so that’s so that I love that I find it really funny and then it’s sort of in the first few episodes just it just got referenc a few times and then it happened pretty organically really I love that it’s really funny listening to I think there’s a clip from the paren in Hell podcast when they were like like Rob Rob Becket and Josh are like they called them lids and it just like without the knowledge they just don’t know they were going what should we call our listeners have a word they they’re called the lids and like just without context it does sound mental but it happened pretty naturally okay I really like it just wers um question have a word from Aiden keg have a word with the dad in my daughter’s swimming class please Lads every week where Speedos goggles and a swimming cap you’re having a splashback with your four-year-old not training for the Olympics you absolute Aquin I love it I absolutely love that I think I’ll be that parent who’s like we absolutely no problem with people who take things seriously we don’t we didn’t we didn’t we we were from very sporty family we did not play for fun we play like there was no taking part the accounts in my family at all like even now when we go on holiday as a five with grown-ups my M makes us race to say who’s the fastest swimmer oh my God still like like we and and it’s not me but I’m fine with it um but it we she makes us race like we we were never a take we were never a fun Sports family never every one time this is just someone making an effort isn’t it this is someone putting the effort in like if you’re going into a bar dance put a hat on you know what I mean I know fall on the goggles kids can I ask so cuz this is actually one of my have words ridiculous this is my this one mine and you want this do you know those parents who speak to their kids in porno voice what what darling okay so there’s this thing where they like baby okay are you’re doing so well porn are you watching no nice porn where they respectful um it’s not I was going to say you are you kidding they’re not kind in your porn never in my life oh my god um I watch some women’s po recently it’s sh Wait have which one did you watch the the one that’s like made made for women by women is it that one where it’s all like soft like she comes in and like he’s doing the dishes and she’s like over here and give us a kiss and he just like goes down and up for ages and like oh God it’s bull I love doing that I’m Bang into that class I don’t want to watch it I wish I could go for those guys it’s like spit on my head and tell me I’m never going to meet your mother I am it spit on my head me head not in me face me head on the top of my head I want spit there I’ve got a weird Kink you’re getting more DMS after this one again but the poror no voice kids is when they’re pick they’re like oh baby are you so good oh my goodness you do you’re like [ __ ] people who do baby voice and babies just talk to the kid normally not baby babies not like tiny babies they don’t [ __ ] I’m talking if you got three or foury old and you’re like Dar and then they go shut up if that’s it affects a silly little voice I’m like talk normally and then she goes oh yeah sorry sorry I hate you can’t talk too normally to children and babies you call say to the baby oh you’re getting big aren’t you how big you are you’re happy there aren’t you is that nice just sounds me you can’t do it to a dog you can’t talk to a dog like right how you do it how you how you f you know what I disagree I think talk to a kid how you talk to your mates cuz they’re the funniest kids the kids who just speak like adults are absolutely hysterical they’re so funny you know the ones who were just like yeah great that’s really good like you can’t talk to babies or dogs like that you can’t be going you’re like Milly yeah some to lie down are you girl no joyless all right yeah did you have a nice Christmas yeah you got loads of presents yeah [ __ ] M but I also my friend happy birthday to you happy birthday to you that was weird one it happy birthday to you fetch this dead over you but my friend did a thing where her baby was a baby like a baby baby and she wouldn’t let us say rude words in front of the baby like she’d be like I I I’m talking about sex and she was like can you not say that [ __ ] stupid shut up shut up shut up make off in front of a [ __ ] until they can talk and you’re allowed to swear call until they can talk not just before that nah may there’s got to be an age where you can’t talk bummed in front of a baby I mean you don’t have to talk about getting bummed in front of anyone you don’t want to L L A over the baby I got bummed last night yeah yeah yeah you know what gauging from your reaction I shouldn’t have said it in front of you either God women are so [ __ ] touchy cuz well if you’re talking to your friend right you’re talking to your friend who’s got a baby and you’re like you know I was getting [ __ ] bummed off the other night right and she’s like no you’ve obviously never been to West London and she’s gone like well me baby you got me baby hear me like you’re going to like what point is I understand at what point but I had a friend who like she wouldn’t let me say sex so I had to go and be like so now your baby thinks I’m deaf first of all so we’re going to have to Broach that down the line I keep be like so we were having s and but she was then someone who also spoke to her baby in the porno voice I was like sorry Mommy your death friend loves Co I was like I would she she’s like oh baby oh you so good oh M it’s like do you know what I’d rather be 3 months old and hear people talking about sex than think my mom wants to have it with me subconsciously do you know what I mean this is all this is you not sex SE sex voice if someone talk to you like that it’s sex you’d be [ __ ] freaked out why you talk to me like Su your [ __ ] do you you haven’t oh I’m so into it of course you are it you’ve been a good boy haven’t you i’ be like that’s that’s different [ __ ] Mary Poppins my [ __ ] off oh hate it I hate it that’s what the kids used to say when you an anion isn’t it that’s not a sex voice it’s a baby and a dog voice no I hate it is a sex it’s a porno voice it’s not find me a porn video and send me a I don’t watch yes you do they don’t do the porns I watch yeah they’re just spitting and stuff just just cool stuff it’s really light rain just do you know I’m not going into it Robert King next have a word we’ve moved on Robert King says need you to have a word with my mate he’s just got out of a seven-year relationship and has now started seeing what started seeing his mate’s niece yeah you read that right his mate’s niece for context he’s 30 and she’s 18 he’s known her since she was little this is defo not on right we’ have all given him stick but he’s keeping on going about it so can you please have a word with him to sort himself out sorry you’ve given him stick about it like gentle ribbing at the PA yeah give him a high five uh is this a problem yeah it’s [ __ ] gross but why because what is a 30-year-old man getting from the company of an 18-year-old girl P didn’t you say didn’t you say 18 was allowed for nons didn’t you say it was pedophile yeah what I’m doing here done is trying I just want some of that young thing hello hello would you like to touch an old man’s [ __ ] oh oh no oh God why did I do that straight in the trailer [ __ ] no God you’re all so [ __ ] basic it’s so boring what do you mean basic and boring it’s so boring it’s like oh this like little live little 18-year-old who’s just thinks I don’t want it I know you no half your age plus seven right so half your age so he’s within that then no he’s not it has to be okay fine which you know what advice do you wait four years like Philip scoffield yeah wait four years and then it doesn’t is is half your plus 7 void if you know them when they were 10 yeah probably yeah I think you have to look into the bylaws stop nons in mate uh Jay says last one lad I need you to have a word with my mate Jack we have a lad Sunday League team and last week we assigned kit numbers cuz we chipped in and bought tops for everyone oh my God Jack said he wanted 7 n 10 or 11 and nothing else he’s wank so he gave him number 19 he threw a hisy fit and refused to wear the top refused to warm up and then when when he got subbed on he wore his top inside out out of protest the ref wouldn’t let him play so he stropped off ran drills with cones on his own never seen anything like it and now he’s refusing to come out drinking with us have a word Lads that’s I absolutely love him do you yeah that’s right up my street or just protest just I want this really angry just really yeah you were annoyed at the fact they’d bought kits yeah I was annoyed kids it tries like honestly God bless you all these like B chipping in for kits on a Sunday get over yourself it didn’t happen you didn’t play for England bore off how to identify who’s on whose team they’re a Sunday League team tap tape yeah you do tape on the back on what you do on your on your T-shirt you all agree to wear the same color and then you do it in tape on the back oh my God if you have a lad honestly we’re buying him kits if you send him to any form of football match with a T-shirt and tape on his back and he’s Ginger he’s going to get murdered badass it’s so much cooler Ginger his homemade looking like a little Christian he’s into religion this one that’s what the kids in Africa do like no joke that is what they do they stick like gaffa tape on their back yeah I know but that’s a bit different I know that’s what I’m saying you can’t be doing that just [ __ ] runor no everyone loves an underdog no everyone loves a film about an underdog where it ends well in school Everyone likes beating the [ __ ] out of the underdog right if that is they’ got gaffa taped on their back with their number you’re literally you’re literally putting a Target on his back don’t do it but you think like grown men on a Sunday like come on he sounds men are not allowed to have fun and play football with their friends make men having fun I love men having fun as you are you a person I’m started to agree with you yeah well you know it’s either this or shaging 18y olds yeah I’m sorry you right I would didn’t realize what the binary Choice was I think I think it shows Fortitude by Jay and the lads that he was like right the rules are I’m s 9 10 or 11 nothing else and they were like cool Gob Shai 19 19 is funny 19 is not even that bad a number I think kind of cool number sad man first season at Liverpool was it Matti that did the plus that’s just a 10 then is it Ivan zamano did that what would your kick number be if you could choose um what’s Trent Alexander Arnold 66 that looks to an old Watcher of football like I’ve been watching when he came out by the way again I’ll say it again phenomenal shoulders that kid is in great shape uh when he’s got 66 on his impressive back that is like does that not catch everyone’s eye or are you young enough that you’re like sound it’s what he’s his number now that’s just yeah yeah yeah 10 15 years ago yeah unheard of yeah well when you come through expect him to change after a couple of Seasons but he’s made that well I think he will forever be 66 I think if Joe Gomez had been sold like a year or a year and a half or two years after Trent broke through I think he would have took number two but I think it’s it’s been 66 for so long now that it won’t happen yeah so it would be kind of cool if you were like 99 or something if you went just [ __ ] it I’m 99 there been there’s been loads of them hasn’t there there’s been loads of everyone’s had every number in the NFL now you’re allowed zero what happened about two years ago you’re allowed double zero as well I think or is that just the NBA I don’t think you’re allowed double zero in NBA I think you can do I think Russell West book is are you 10 of them going uh no I mean this this is 10 um but no 11 always chose 11 yeah it’s me B all right fa and I like how it’s just very like yeah symmetrical and hatti is a plus sign made out of Gorilla tape on whatever she’s wearing hopefully not a backless top otherwise sick when you say he came out did he come out he’s not gay oh right he came out the tunnel oh when he came out the tunnel unlike Diana um fin what you want to do out and nowhere what what would you number be um well I was a goalie as well so I was one but whenever I played Outfield I wanted eight but that was for I eight I’m glad that you went one CU to be honest with you the only reason I asked you is if you give yourself any other number it would have just been really funny that even in your own head you’re not a f I was I was always one har what were you when you were goie I was 40 number 14 on a ninan team in goal so good and the other the other team just used to like flash a torch on again to [ __ ] him off har was just an [Laughter] asteris number just an aster no one’s had that I’m hashtag um ladies and gents what a [ __ ] podcast hatti where can we find you on socials because I know you pushing your Instagram lows recently I’m so good at it most secretive comedian um it’s pratty hon with a Y well P but praty and uh this a lot and this is why I don’t say on stage now I’m all waffling and uh I’m doing my first ever solo show in September at hot water and also me and Michael rice and our very good friend Chris Higgins who’s over from the states are doing a split we’re doing a three-way America style in July so that and that’s Jack Wanda thank you for is a [ __ ] brilliant comic go and watch her live thanks thanks for having me again yeah got a tune oh God what’s the T what’s the tune mate this is from guy his name his name like his band name is guy it’s not just a guy yeah this is guy is it a band or is it a solo artist it’s a solo artist artist called guy and his and it’s his new tune called gimme so this is gimme by Guy gimme guy cool love you L appreciate you bye fici