How to get better sleep for you and your baby: 0-12months waking frequently
This film is for parents and families of babies under one year old and looks at baby sleep and infant development in the first year in more depth, focusing on the journey parents, Katie and James, have had with their daughter.
In their first year, infants will learn how it feels to fall asleep in a safe comforting way with your help. By responding sensitively to the changes in your baby’s development you will build the foundations for a healthy sleep pattern. They will need you to be close as they learn to feel safe sleeping separately and you will need to be quite responsive, so as to reassure them. The part of the brain that helps them to deal with emotions like frustration has not yet developed.
10-month-old Jessica wakes regularly in the night having experienced silent reflux and torticollis. She is learning that sleep is a time for separation, gradually taking her cues from her environment and those around her. Her parent’s kindly share their experiences in this short film. Health visitors, Paulene and Kate discuss with them why it can be helpful to consider experiences during pregnancy as well as the present to help parents tune in to their baby’s sleep needs.
All babies are different and need different types of soothing. Some children wake more naturally and with more energy than others. And conditions, such as silent reflux, can have an impact too.
Sleep is important for our physical and mental wellbeing and we know that from birth, sleep is fundamental for healthy brain development. While sleep is a natural instinct, it’s also a skill we develop: learning how to wind down and how much sleep we need. Sleep support resources created by psychologists and health visitors are now available at www.inourplace.co.uk/sleep to promote connected relationships between parents and infants to help children to learn and thrive as they grow.
Other useful films in this longer case study series include:
My baby isn’t sleeping through the night: Francine and Dan’s story: https://youtu.be/4YnOtUc0EzQ
My child is having nightmares or night terrors: Hannah’s story: https://youtu.be/xPozEnUJrhE
from day one Jessica was very an alert baby so she’d quite easily go 6 hours without sleeping and particularly on the afternoon would it from 4: 4: till 10:00 p.m. she’d be wide awake and we were quite surprised at first weren’t we cuz we like thought newborn slept yeah we were hoping for we’re hoping sleeping baby but but she didn’t um and even overnight she’d wake up up lots and she’d be quite unsettled and by five weeks we were like I don’t think something’s not right maybe because she’s really not sleeping and she’s crying a lot and seems quite uncomfortable and yeah found out that she had silent reflux and T to kis um so she’s obviously in quite a lot of pain um so we got some support didn’t we so so an osteopath reflex specialist did lots of sort of massages um to try and help um and you know medication through the GP and everything but unfortunately you know her Sate was really affected so she’d be up most most the day and night really she you know we were trying to look at all the advice you know on line of how many naps babies should have what the Wake window should be it’s evident that J didn’t follow those tradition traditional um you know sleep patterns um and also you know we weren’t able to put her down either so obviously it’s not safe to lie her on her front or on her side it has to be on the back on her back which was just Agony for her so all sleep was on us wasn’t it so um contact naps Co slept overnight would really persevere wouldn’t we trying to get her in a Moses basket and and little that we had but she just wouldn’t settle would she not at all did you plan to have a baby did it take a long time or was it a bit of a journey as well or yeah so so the year before we’d lost her sister Phi MH um 16 17 weeks yeah um so yes we found out on Christmas Eve of 2021 MH um and yeah so we knew then that we really really wanted a baby did well we went through that didn’t we which is horrible unfortunately um and then yeah so we sort of decided that’s when we wanted to we thought well we’ come this far and it’s affect as this much and obviously clearly what the posi to come out of is that we do want to have a child so yeah yeah so then we’re really lucky enough to conceive well yeah and then just on that note it was it was there was diares there was ovulation clocks there I mean that felt felt very militarized I mean and then um yeah and then so the the pregnancy was really really anxiety provoked wasn’t it because we just kept thinking the same thing will happen again CU it was out the blue well what 18 weeks I was going to go on to talk about that sorry the reason why it was like because we went on Christmas Eve we’d gone for a scan just to because at that point we could have found the sex of the baby we didn’t know that point this is this is Fe by the way yeah and so we went to to get private gandon um and they basically came back and said there was no heartbeat on Christmas Eve and we weren’t expecting it at all we wasn’t like everything was fine wasn’t it scan’s blood check the week before you had a 16 week check with the Midwife who do do and heard the heartbeat so we weren’t expecting at all so to hear that was a bit of a a real you know a surprise but also a horrible surprise yeah um um and then obviously from there then the pregnancy was was was consultant LED based on obviously the fact that we had a you know um not miscarriage I suppose miscarriage yeah um so which was good and bad in lots of ways because it meant that we had lots of scans fantastic however we walked into every scan thinking of what happened Christmas Eve before so we were holding to oh yeah we let have scans every two weeks as well so every two weeks so we were got knows what the The Midwives thought of us because we holding like this every time yes they can hit a heartbeat brilliant like and then every we relax sort of thing we um so that was really anxiety provoking sort of experience wasn’t it and my pregnancy wasn’t good in terms of took forever nausea took forever nausea throughout um uh um what else did I have vomiting in first and third trimester worse in third really bad tiredness as well wasn’t it so it was really hard journey um and then our consultant wanted me to be induced but I did not want to be induced because I was had to be induced with Phoebe so I didn’t I wanted to try and just have a natural birth so I had some sweeps um and then hello D um so we had I had some sweeps and then my I started having contractions but I was still 1 cm dilated so went in for another another sweep and then my Waters broke um and then we went to the water birth unit didn’t we unit and and we were in there but then your blood pressure my blood pressure was through the roof which is what you were on medication for in the first place as well yeah yeah so they got they kicked you out they K us out and then because it been 24 hours since my Waters broke then had to Beed um but I was in labor for 4 days it really really long and intense I ended up having two cuz the first one failed um and then yeah ended up delivering I pomy didn’t I and then they delivered the day after she was born 2nd of January about 3:00 a.m. and then I had and I got sent home because I could could I was not allowed to stay so but I was still having vomiting so even when she was born still I was still I’m still vomiting keep bringing me balls didn’t they you next to me but ultimately it’s a journey is a journey that we think we think about we’re thinking about doing again so ultimately what I’m trying to say is as much as you go through such a bad scenario bad in you know experience you know it’s difficult and I suppose what we look back on is that we realize that we are lucky that we are able to conceived as well there’s plenty of people out there aren’t in that position to do so or and then you know not only just conceive is then to to be able to have a child as well which again isn’t always you know afforded to everybody right so as much as you go through difficulties you also got to remember how lucky you are the same time there a lot there what you you’ve you know shared with us that that is a massive the worldbe journey that you’ve been on and all that anxiety that you must have felt whilst going for a scan because of what had happened before yeah and then also looking forward like you’re saying to the next potential pregnancy is also a bit like oh it’s a bit daunting isn’t it to go to put yourself through that you know again that anxiety obviously that the reward is amazing absolutely but you know for all of that you know you are going completely natural to feel so overwhelmed with every scan you know we’re keeping an eye on you but every two weeks You’ have been oh okay and then as you get close to that 2 weeks your your height and anxiety goes up again oh my goodness it’s the SC tomorrow and it’s both of you you know it’s expecting everybody um and and so it’s really important to unpack all of that and to say how is that affecting sleep now what’s what’s go you’re going to be there every time she makes a noise to go I’m here because of all of that that’s happened before which is completely understandable she’s the most precious thing to you um and you want her to be okay and to be happy and that separation you know you’ve had that pregnancy you’ve kept an eye on her every two weeks she’s with you she’s there you’ve breast feder all through all of that to now even comprehend that separation of you go to sleep over here and I go sleep over here is is massive for you both um and it’s that process that you have to go through and especially if you you know if you if you are blessed with another pregnancy and another baby to then go okay how does that fit in with my separation from her and being away from her so there’s a lot to consider and when we look at sleep we always look at the story The Journey that you’ve been on what where you’ve been emotionally because it will impact when you’ve had a loss which you’ve had and you’ve suffered then that separation is always really pivotal in kind of looking at that and you know how are you going to feel about being away from her you know you are going to be worried you are going to be anxious because of all of those Fe feelings that you’ve had before understandably yeah say it’s that crying isn’t it so because when she had the reflux she was crying cuz she was in pain so there was no way I was going to allow that to continue even though there was nothing I could do to stop her just being there was us feel better didn’t it you know that we could actually feel like doing something um so like now even trying to get her to sleep more independently we well more so me I’d say struggle with crying leaving careful long you know we only leave her for 10 seconds don’t we and then we go back in it’s it’s stranger cuz it’s comes for instance you’ve seen us just here we’ll let her walk around yeah so we’re not so precious over like oh my God and she falls over yeah cuz know she’s safe yeah but my point being is if she falls over she’ll hurt herself obviously and she’ll cry but that’s not necessarily a concern to us you I mean it’s it’s the sleeping really more than anything isn’t it yeah as well her crying is her any way of communicating to you so she’s telling you Mom Dad I need you I need you know I’m awake I need you so it’s that as well you know to heart string you know that she’s reaching out to you so you automatically then go to her to help Soo her and help settle her especially when she says mom Mom Mom M you’re like she’s calling for me and it’s that baby brain it’s that primitive brain like Kate saying that communication is just crying she can’t say actually my mom quite hungry now can I have the only way that she can communicate with with you too with your you know is is to cry and you you’re being tune with those cries I think she needs this I think like you just did I think she’s hungry you know you can see those cues and that’s you know amazing that her little brain is still developing still making all those little Pathways from the environment that she’s in so you know it’s developing and by you responding to her you know when she does cry that that really nourishes her brain and keeps it really you know secure and safe and develops all those lovely little Pathways in in the best way possible you know you can’t spoil a baby um she just knows you’re there by you popping in from what I’ve heard what you said you do an amazing job and persevering and and that Journey that you’ve been on you know must have been really tricky at times what was clear earlier you said you picked up on what suited what was best for Jessica so that means you really tuned into her you did it yes people gave you advice you did research and you know you had all that information to look at but you what suited Jess really good that you’re in tune obviously with her not just like this is what we’re going to do o yeah you were picking up on on what she was giving you as well which is which is [Music] key so just an update on Jessica’s sleep um from our last videos so sleep Still Remains difficult um Jessica will VAR in a naps duration time getups how many weake she has um every day even if you think you’ve cracked it and you know you’re in a bit more of a routine it then changes doesn’t it we have some split nights some full starts still yeah um that’s still tricky this could be down to various reasons sometimes it thinks that it could be teething or uh a bit of a cough or illness and you feel like you always sort of going back to to square one it’s just there’s no sort of consistency absolutely and I think we’ve talked about sort of different reasons like you said about what can affect the sleep and you know talk to professionals around what it might be um and I S you know we’ve come to that conclusion all together with the professionals haven’t we that it’s not related to separation anxiety Jessica she’s got a you know secure attachment whereby she you know plays independently sleeps in her own c um has been since 6 months M so yeah not that not at all no no so you know we talked about how it can be you know quite normal for babies to wake in the night um she’s got herself into a habit really anything hasn’t she yeah so we talked about other things haven’t we to look at see if sleep improves like reducing bre feeding and stopping feeding overnight just minimalizing that interaction with her when she does wake yeah I think she’s um she’s a very social character and so when she wakes she wants to be B around people maybe and that could be a reason why she sort of wakes up and and so on and um from talking to the professionals Etc got some ideas of minimizing that interaction yeah stopping the feeding stopping the feeding Etc and we’ got some little pardon the pun baby steps to take to see if we can get Mak any improvements mhm so fingers crossed yeah hopefully we have a better sleeping baby so just a little sleep update then so it’s been a couple of months now and Jessica was still waking multiple times in the night um she started to show signs that she was ready to self settle you know we’ve always followed her lead really so um she wasn’t want she wasn’t wanting to be fed to sleep um she wasn’t um you know wanting to be comforted by us to go to sleep she was sort of pushing away from us so we did begin sort of you know doing our bedtime routine offering her a breastfeed and then popping her down um there was someone is show crying um maximum 10 minutes would you say yeah not long um and we were able to you know she was able to fall asleep wasn’t she by herself which was amazing um and then we we noticed that over time that started to get better as well didn’t it like she’d have a little bit of like a moan like we were talking weren we about the difference in her cries yeah yeah yeah yeah totally and um I think what what really helped us effectively what she was doing with self-settling as you talked about so when she would have this little moan or such as you talk about it wasn’t a cry a proper cry it was a moan and we sort of knew that nothing for us to do here she can settle herself back to sleep and often every time really she has she has now yeah like she’ll bang her feet won’t she um to soo herself to sooth herself um and if she does work in the night she will do that and roll around and go back to sleep she hasn’t needed us for months is it six weeks now oh or longer long I since she she’s been sing yeah I think it be months really yeah yeah um which is incredible from from you know a baby that never ever slept through the night um we’re now regular getting 11 and 1 half to 12 hours a night yeah yeah which is which is superb which game changer yeah incredible she’s much happier we’re happier um and we another change that we’ve noticed is that she’ll now fall asleep in the car she’ll fall asleep in the pram she even the other day went quiet in the jumper room and we looked up and she’d fallen asleep in Jump room yeah so she has learned to self settle she’s sleeping much much better um and I don’t have to breastfeed her at all overnight now I don’t breastfeed her in the day the only breastfeed she’s offered is bedtime um so that’s made a big difference hasn’t it yeah so for all those parents out there who think it’s not doable never come to an end we were getting seven or eight wakeups more or less every night if not more and we’ve now got a baby who sleeps falls asleep in a jumper room there you [Music] go