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    Welcome to The Loud House YouTube channel! Join the Loud and Casagrandes families during their adventurous lives. Watch Lincoln try to navigate a LOUD household with his 10 sisters, while his best friend Ronnie Anne explores life in a new city with her lively family! Expect to see some EXCLUSIVE vlogs and podcasts as well as hilarious moments, interactive guides and even more. Subscribe now to stay up to date with everything Loud House related! Welcome to the family!

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    Oh, and that’s our dad. Hey, girls, I didn’t hear you come- Ah! [gasping] Not cool, Dad! This is our friend Brita! Oh, sorry, Brita. You got some on your ponytail, dude. [groaning] I’m okay! It’s all good! Nice to meet you, Mr. Loud. So, you’re Brita. That’s who you are. I mean, who else would you be? Well, this has been great, goodbye. Actually, she’s staying for dinner. And stop being so weird. Get it together, Lynn. He was a real fun guy. [whimpering] [gasping] He must really like you. He only does that to my mom. Hey, where is mom, anyway? Ah, she’s, uh, in the garage. Yeah, she’ll be here any minute. [chuckles] I, uh, need to use the bathroom. Here you go, Miss Lun- Ah! Gross! Hi, all. Sorry I’m late. I was whittling a life sized family sculpture. That’s weird. Hmm. She’s been in the can for a while. I should go check on her. No. Never rush someone’s bathroom routine. Better go wash up. BRB. – Mama. – Shh. Mama. Ma- [chuckles] Uh, down, Charles. Charles. No. [gasping] Okay, I know this looks bad. But I can explain. Wait, Mom, why are you dressed like Brita? No, Leni, Mom is Brita. You tricked us. I confided in you about Sam. I cut you in on my secret prank. And I told you about my cowlicky crush. Oh, girls, I just wanted to- We don’t want to hear it. Let’s go. Girls, I- [sighing] [clattering] Who’s in here? It’s the middle of the ding dang night. [grunting] [growling] [shrieking] Lily, how did you get out of your crib? Snack! No, no, it’s not snack time, sweetie. It’s time to- Snack now! [grunting] What is going on with her? She’s supposed to be the sweet one. – We heard that! – Not cool, Mom. – Ah, come on. – Sorry, kids. Love you. No! No! No! No! No! Snack now! No, Lily, you clearly need sleep and you have school in the morning. Wait a minute. School. Maybe that’s where she’s picking up this bad behavior [gasping] That makes total sense. Maybe she’s got a new friend who acts like this. [gasping] [laughing] [sighing] Finally, some peace and quiet. Fascinating. Okay, first thing tomorrow morning, we march right in there and find out who’s ruining our precious Lily. Snack, snack, snack. That won’t work. If she sees us there, she’ll know something’s up. We’ll need to get creative. Whoa! Nice save, hun. You ready for a fun day at preschool? So ready. [squealing] Did I tell you they have a trampoline? Yes, sweetie, 43 times, but remember, the reason you’re going is to keep an eye on Lily. You need to find out who’s encouraging her to misbehave. I’m on it, Mom. Don’t forget your lunch, Leni. [groaning] LJ, I’ve got more Parm for ya! Great job, class. I’m so proud of all your arts and crafts. Dr. S, look. I made a painting based on this scary dream I had last night. There were some super cute espadrilles on sale, and they didn’t have my size. But I bought them anyway. [splatting] Lily, Audrey! What did you do?! [laughing] [gasping] Looks like we know who the bad kid is. Audrey, bad. Case closed. Leni, I think you’ve earned yourself a break. [giggling] Whee! Lily, Jackson, put down those juice boxes. Jackson’s bad, too? One bedroom is not enough space for all these dollies. Lily, Ellis, this is not how we use tape. [laughing] Ellis is bad, too? I can’t believe it. [squeaking] [grunting] [laughing] Ah! This is worse than we thought. Audrey, Jackson, Ellis, Flynn, Max, Tilly; Cute name, Joey, Monty, Solly. Every kid in that class is a bad influence. Lily, stop throwing pans. Let’s get outta here! We’re gonna have to start wearing helmets. [gasping] What if she’s stuck like this? Forever? [groaning] Please. Lily. I’m sick of this helmet. I haven’t seen my hair in 15 years. My hair. My hair. My hair. My hair. Honey, you’re spiraling. We still have time to save her. Lily just needs to spend time with other kids. Nicer kids. You mean like our kids? Of course not. – We can hear you, mother! – Seriously, dude?! I mean toddlers, Lynn. Royal Woods has plenty of great kids I’m sure it’ll be a breeze to find a good friend for Lily. [screaming] Parmesan Lynn! No! ♪ Oh… ♪ ♪ Mama’s little baby loves Short’nin’, short’nin’ ♪ Mama’s little baby loves Short’nin’ ♪ Breeeeeeeaaaaaad! ♪ Very nice, Clyde! Clyde and I have a week to start a successful business for class. So we’re gonna sell homemade chocolate pie. We’ve never baked before. But how hard could it be? Everybody loves chocolate pie. My Nana says that if they don’t, you can’t trust them. What? Empty wrappers. I should have known. It wasn’t me! I was with you the whole time. I know, Clyde. It was my sisters. They’re well-known chocoholics. Mm. [sighing] [giggling] Well, what are we gonna do? I already rolled out 84 pie crusts! We’ll just replace the chocolate with something equally delicious. Ugh! What the heck kind of pie is this? Salt and vinegar. Gross! I don’t get it. It works on potato chips. Any other ideas? How about we sell hugs? So here’s the kitchen. Definitely my kitchen. [gasping] Laird, you have the Juice-O-Matic 5000? It blends, purees and even deseeds. Please make me a smoothie. Sure Sid, that’s something I know how to use. Whoa, boy! Whoa, boy! Your juice is ready. [grunting] Now that’s the good stuff, thanks Laird. Oh, don’t mention it. [thudding, grunting] Hey why is there a big box of chocolates with a note that says… "For Ronnie Anne"? What!? Oh that’s nothing. Wait a second. This can only mean one thing. Laird has a big, fat crush on Ronnie Anne! Ooh. Yes! That’s it, you caught me. Old Romeo here. Obsessed with this beautiful creature. I am so so sorry. Okay let’s just start the movie. Is it a romance? Ooh. [sighing] Guys, I’m baking cookies! Who wants to lick the beaters?! [rumbling] [all] I do! I do! Out of my way or I’ll find you in your cell after lights out. Lola, you really gotta stop watching those prison shows. Girls, Lincoln has a friend over. Let them have the beaters. Drop it, Stinkin. We have dibs. Girls, let Lincoln play. He has a friend over. [whistling] Dinner is served. Chicken nuggets? Bogus dude, I asked for bangers and mash. And I clearly recall requesting sardines. I’m low on my Omega-3s. Well, Lincoln has a friend over so Clyde got to pick tonight’s dinner. And I suggested chicken nuggets. And I said that was a great idea. Gah. Lalo, what the heck, dude? [squawking] Time for breakfast. Early bird gets the chilaquiles. Chilaquiles? [humming] Andale! Eat, eat! Morning, Abuela. You’re in a hurry today. Si, mija, the apartment upstairs is vacant, and as building manager, it’s my job to show it to potential tenants. And it’s my job to help! Sweet tool belt, CJ. Is that a new hammer? It’s also a screwdriver. Ooh. Morning, Mom. Good morning, sweetie, got any plans for the day? Yeah, I’m gonna take my board to the park, and work out some new tricks. Sounds fun. Remember to wear your- C’mon, Mom, you don’t have to remind me. I’ve heard enough of your ER stories to know better. Oh, that reminds me, you won’t believe what we found in a patient’s stomach yesterday. At first, we thought it was a hairball, but- [clearing throat] You know we love you, Tia, but some of us are eating. Text me the details. Oh, thanks for the plate, hon! Morning, fam! Better take breakfast to go, Abuela, I gotta get downstairs to open the mercado. Gracias, mijo, what a good grandson, letting your Abuelo relax and enjoy his coffee. Thanks, Abuela! Wait, Bobby, your apron! Thanks, sis! Wait up, cuz! You need me to supervise! Mine! Better luck next time, dude. Yes, Mr. Scully, I’m going to open up the apartment right now! I think we’re going to get a lot of applicants! Abuela, your keys! Anyway, I’ll be sure to have the- [sighing] Now, to finally eat. [whimpering] Ha! You’re really laying it on thick, aren’t you? Go ahead, I’ll grab something on my way to the park. Just don’t tell Abuela. [barking] Luan’s on the loose! Take cover! But we thought you locked her up. Plan B, retreat! Retreat! Oh, no, Ronnie Anne’s on her way? Could this day get any worse? Well, that’s my answer. But on the plus side, that’s one less prank Ronnie Anne could suffer. [gasping] That’s it. If I set off all the pranks in the house, there won’t be any left for her. Lincoln, it’s not safe out there! Save yourselves. I’ve got a job to do. Don’t worry, Lincoln, I’ll plan your funeral. I’ll start by depranking the kitchen. "Kitchen this way." Does she think I’m dumb enough to fall for that? Well, here goes nothing. [groaning] [groaning] Ow! [screaming] I’m made that dish from scratch. [laughing] And now to meet your competition. Cooking at battle station two… Chef Rosa Casagrande and her sous-chef Ronnie Anne. – Rosa? – Ronnie Anne? – Lynn? – Lincoln? – What a surprise! – I can’t believe this! This is incredible! I know! What are the odds of my abuela and your dad got picked to be on this show? So unexpected! I-I was prepared to pulverize the competition, but I can’t do that to you, Rosa! I can’t pulverize you, either. [clearing throat] You may change your minds when you see that you’re competing for… the all-new, color-changing, game-changing, knife-changing- Matthew, pull the curtain! It’s the voice-activated Thriller Chiller 5000 Refrigerator! [audience] Oooh! Hey, fridgey, grapes, please. [gasping] And only one team will go home with it. So, let’s get ready for combat! Yeah! Your first challenge is to cook me breakfast with limited items you’ll have to fight over. It’s time for Ingredient Showdown! Matthew, pull the curtain! Now race over and battle it out for ingredients! Ready, set, combat! – Ooh, I love a good challenge. – How cool is this? I’ll bet we can split this up. Rosa, can I take these? I can make a breakfast scramble. Claro que si. I can make huevos rancheros from the rest. Now we don’t have to fight over ingredients. Sounds like a plan. Whoo-hoo! [growling] [siren blaring] You know what that sound means: it’s time for your kitchen curve ball. This one is called: Shell-Shocked! Matthew, bring out the launchers! While trying to finish your breakfast challenge, you must prevent your opponent from finishing theirs by firing eggs at them! If you don’t… We get eliminated. Eggs-actly. [growling] I hate when puns are used for evil. Better start launching those eggs if you want to win. Did I mention the Thriller Chiller 5000 brings the food to you? [giggling] It’s the sous-chef you never knew you always wanted! I could use an extra hand, or six. But I can’t fire eggs at Rosa! Oh, I know! We can hold up the pans and shoot the eggs into each other’s dishes! – Great idea! – Nice one, Mr. I! [grunting] You know, your old man used to sling eggs like this when he was a prep cook. Good shot. [giggling] WHY WON’T THEY BATTLE IT OUT?! Aww. Their friendship’s too strong for a fridge to get in the way. Listen up, chefs! We’re skipping breakfast. Now I’m in the mood for dinner. I’m also in the mood to up the prizes. The winner gets not only the fridge, but a whole new high-tech, game-changing, life-changing kitchen! Ooh. We can still keep this friendly, right, Dad? – Dad? – A whole new kitchen? [giggling] [gasping, sniffing] Oh. The kitchen we already have is great, right, Abuela? ♪ I can make dishes For kings and queens ♪ ♪ ‘Cause this is the cocina ♪ ♪ Of my dreams ♪ [both] I want that kitchen. [chuckles] Rosa, no hard feelings, but, uh, I have to win this. If you saw my restaurant’s deep fryer, you’d understand. Yes, well, I’m working with a three-speed blender at home, and all three are broken. It’s on! Come on! It’s just stuff! It’s not work risking your friendship over! And did I mention the winner also takes home the Fabulous Froyo 5000?! Wait, a froyo machine? [both] I want that froyo machine! Well then, may the best chefs win. Oh, they will. Finally, they’re ready to battle! Now race over and battle it out for ingredients! Ready, set, combat! Give me that onion! No, I need it! Hands off! Grab the onion, son! Beat him to it, Ronnie Anne! [laughing] I had it first! [chuckles] Now we’re cooking with gas. With these ingredients, we could make my famous Lynn-sagna! No way they can beat that. They won’t stand a chance against my tamales! Don’t forget, chefs. This is Kitchen Combat. So anything goes, and I mean anything! Linc, why don’t you sneak over there and loosen their salt shaker? Good thinking, Dad! Mija, add a pinch of salt. [gasping] Sorry, Abuela. It was an accident. [laughing] This was no accidente. Let’s see how he likes my extra-spicy salsa! Here, give me a taste of that marinara, Lincoln. Hmm. Well, that doesn’t taste right. It has a little bi- [screaming] It can’t be that hot. [screaming] [laughing] [gasping] They messed with our marinara! You don’t mess with a man’s marinara! I have a slick idea. [laughing evilly] Now help me spread the masa on the corn husk- Are you okay, Abuela-AAAAH! [laughing] Slippery kitchen! Now this is TV! [laughing] You know what they say, son: Oil’s fair in love and war! This’ll teach you to oil my floor! Yeah! Nail ’em with your chanclas! [shrieking] The Lynn-sagna! That’s it. You just got yourself uninvited – from Thanksgiving! – Yeah! Well, thank you. Now I won’t have to choke on your dry turkey, and you can forget about coming for Christmas! Yeah! Welcome to Jean Juan’s French Mex Buffet. How can I help you? Can I get a table for 13? The rest of my party is outside parking. 13? That’s a lot of people to seat. Why didn’t you call ahead? [sighing] Does this ever happen to you? Being publicly shamed for trying to dine with a big group. Why are you talking to that tree? When did we get a tree? Well, at Lynn’s Table, big groups are our specialty. After all, Chef Lynn’s been cooking for a family of 13 for years. Are you filming? You can’t do that in here! Cut! Bail, Clyde! Bail! Nice work, buddy, we got what we needed. On to the next location. [grunting, thudding] Sorry, my branches got caught in the spokes. Okay team, T-minus five minutes until the grand opening. By the way, I ordered too much ginger, so really push the Lynn-ger chicken. Dad, we’ve got the greatest surprise for you ever; Clyde and I took care of the whole promotion problem, we made you a commercial. And it should be airing, right about now. And in local news; Several civilians have reported seeing an alleged tree monster, riding a bicycle. This is Katherine Mulligan, and I’ll have the full story for you, after the break. Okay, rolling. – Bowling? – No, rolling. Have you ever gone out to eat with a big group and had this happen? That’s a lot of people to seat. Why didn’t you call ahead? Have you too been… Rejected! It’s going to be at least hour wait. Rejected! [laughing] You’re kidding, right? Rejected! I can seat you in pairs, but one person’s gonna have to sit by himself. Rejected! Re- Re- Re- Re- Re- Rejected! Well, then come on down to Lynn’s Table. Chef Lynn will be sure to take care of your large party. After all, when it comes to serving delicious food to big groups, this father of 11 is an expert. Buses welcome. Honk honk, beep beep, honk hon. Pew pew pew. A Clincoln McCloud Production. All rights reserved. So, what’d you think? Uh, I think it was… Fantastic! Talk about showmanship, you and Clyde knocked it out of the park. How did you get it on TV? You know Patchy Drizzle, the local weatherman? My dad plays racket ball with him. Thanks, Clyde, hey, there’s a free appetizer with your name on it. Yum, well, I’d better go home and change into my formal wear for the opening. Hey, keep an eye out for that tree monster, especially if he offers you candy! Great work, son. Did the girls help too? Psh, no, they all bailed after we couldn’t agree on an idea. Can you believe it, Bobby? They all bailed after we couldn’t agree on an idea. Except me, I came up with… …the perfect idea. A killer promo! A flawless plan! All on my own! And, it’s totally gonna bring in… …a ton of customers! Half the town! Poo-poo da-gah. The place is gonna be packed! [sighing] Well, no worries, son, looks like the grand opening’s gonna be smooth sailing. Okay guys, this is it, time for the grand opening to officially begin. Oh, I hate to start without the girls, but the show must go on. [honking] [gasping] Son, the commercial worked. Where can I park my bus? – I’ll handle it. – Ah, nice try. Alright, are we working with a hydraulic brake system here? Alright my friends, pound it, now blow it up. Hello! And welcome to Lynn’s Table, please make your way to the host stand, we can seat your entire party immediately. [honking] Yes, keep those buses a comin’. Lincoln. Chipity-chop, a carrot’s a root, yeah, I’m cookin’ a root, yeah. It’s out of the ground, but, I washed it off, and chipity-chop chop, just slice. A chipity-chop, chipity-chop chop, a slice, slice, slicety- Ow! My finger. Lisa! Sweetie, there you are. Father, I come bearing the solution to your promotional problem. Oh, did you do your own promo too? Yep, I took it upon myself to make an offer to potential customers… [clearing throat] Bottomless baskets of fries, with the purchase of an entrée. That’s a great idea, short stack! Apparently. I’ve just escorted in four tables worth of patrons, all clamoring for endless potato goodness. Start your fryers. Two promotions at once? Sure got some creative kids. A peel-ity pie, a peel-ity pie, a this guy is making some frenchy fries. Ow, my finger! – Dad, guess what? – Chicken butt? No, no, no, this is no time for jokes. I have to tell you about this genius promotion I did! You did a promotion? Uh-huh, and it’s sure to bring in tons of people. I spread the word that if you celebrate your birthday here, you get a free dessert, and the whole staff sings you a special birthday song. That’s a fantastic idea, honey! And, our first birthday’s ready for a song. Come on, I’ll teach you the words on the way. A-one, two, three… ♪ Happy, happy birthday From all of your new friends ♪ ♪ We hope you have a good one Here with us at Lynn’s, hey ♪ Wow. Wow. [applauding] And now, for your special birthday dessert. Ho, I can’t wait to see this. Oh, right, I have to make that. Oh, sorry, Dad. How do you like the promotion I did for your restaurant? Oh, uh, another promotion. Yeah, it’s a photo booth. It’s totally going to draw in the teen crowd. Look, there’s already people waiting to use it. [gasping] So far, they’ve only ordered water, but still, I’m going to go break it in. Father, where are the fries? Chop chop, and I mean that literally. On it, honey. Ugh, okay, uh, I gotta bake the cake, fry the potatoes, and, agggh, what was that other thing? Oh! Did someone leave the door open?! Hey, Dad! I got the best news! [sighing] Let me guess, you did a promotion? Yup, I said we’re offering a special menu for pets. [whimpering, honking] Dad, we got two more buses. It’s a bachelorette party, they wanna know where they can put their mechanical bull. Uh, hmm… We’ve got another birthday. One, two, three… ♪ Happy, happy birthday From all of your new friends ♪ ♪ We hope you have a good one Here with us at Lynn’s, hey ♪ And, your birthday dessert. [Clearing throat] Will be coming later. Dad, I totally crushed this whole promotional thing. You did? I got my whole softball team here, I told them you were running a special for the athlete on the go. Okay, what is it? If you don’t get your food in 15 minutes or less, it’s free. I made the announcement at the game, – so the other team is here too. – What?! Oh, and you should probably start cooking, cause it’s already been like eight minutes. [stuttering] Wa, wait. Ah, okay, okay, first; Birthday cake, then second birthday cake, french fries, correction; I need lots of french fries, food for pets. Ahhh! Lynn, there’s no time to think! Just cook! It’s getting even crazier out there, Lynn, you might wanna take a look. As promised, every meal comes with a free concert. And a-one, two, three! ♪ Lynn’s Table! Come in if you’re able! ♪ ♪ If not, we deliver! ♪ NO, WE DON’T! Okay, remember everyone; if you get a bingo, you win a free app! NO! YOU DON’T! B-11! Bingo, baby! Haha, fry me up some pickles! [groaning] [clucking] I’ve always wanted to take the gang out for a night on the town, and it is Virginia’s birthday so, we’d sure love a song. Here you go, birthday princess. Gah! My fries! [screaming] Oh, I’m so sorry about that, tonight’s dinner is on us. [loud chattering, animal noises] Gotcha, buddy. Daddy, where are those finger sandwiches for my tea party? I’ve got another birthday, but she doesn’t speak English, so we’ve gotta do the song in Korean. Order up, a bowl of crickets for the iguana at table six. Father, I need 40 pounds of fries pronto, the potato fiends won’t rest. Dad, another bus just pulled in, they said they’re gluten-free paleo-vegans. We can make something for them right? Dad, I need a chicken fried steak, we’ve got 30 seconds, go, go, go. [sighing] [clamoring] [banging] Everybody, stop! These promotions are just too ding-dang much! Sorry, Dad, we didn’t know everybody was doing their own thing. I just wish you kids had worked together to come up with one idea, that I could have handled, but now there’s just too many things hittin’ me all at once. There’s another one. Hey Dad, Bernie just got a double bingo. Do we have Ba-ba-ga-noush? Where’s Dad? Why is he napping during the gland opening? His vitals are fine, but when he wakes up, he’ll have a considerable contusion. Dudes, I feel terrible. Me too, Dad’s opening night is a disaster, and it’s all our fault. Well, with your father out of commission, I don’t think we can keep the restaurant going. [sighing] I’ll go tell the customers they have to go home. Just to be safe. Mom, wait, maybe it’s not too late to save the grand opening. How are we gonna do that? By working together, just like Dad wanted us to do in the first place. [chattering] Excuse me! May I have your attention, everybody! [clearing throat] I know you all came here cause of the promotions we offered- Bingo! Oh, sorry. But the thing is, my sisters and I came up with those without telling our dad, so unfortunately, we can no longer honor all of our promises. [groaning] But if you’re willing to stick around; there is one promise we can honor, our dad’s great food at a great price. – Okay. – Okay, okay. Okay, time to work together, pound it guys. Now blow it up. Order up! Potato and chicken dump-Lynns. Fresh out. No problem, Mom, I know that recipe by heart. Here, this Lynn-til soup goes to table three. Got it. Please take a seat. Oh, but, give it back at the end of your meal. May I recommend the Lynn-ger chicken? Thank you. Order up. This is the home stretch guys, we’re almost there. [cheering] Where’s Dad? I have the ultimate promotion, I invited Katherine Mulligan from channel three to come interview him. You did what? Bad timing, dude. Gasp. Nobody panic, I’ve got an idea. Rosa, you shrunk my shirt. That’s Carl’s shirt, Tonto. Whoops. [squawking] Ooh, Marshmallow Blaster. Sergio want. [groaning] Oh, man, I’m starving. Uh-uh, majita, not before dinner. And no ice cream for you, either! Oh, this one fits well. Abuelo, that’s my romper. That’s it, fuera, everybody out of my kitchen or dinner will never be ready. You too, Sergio. Aw man, that was a limited time offer. [grunting] What ‘cha got there, Ronnie Anne? You guys have to check out that tamale truck. These are so good. What are you doing?! If Abuela sees you eating that, you’re toast! Once, she caught Tio Carlos eating a churro from the new bakery, she stopped cooking for him for a month. Gah, I had to survive on frozen waffles! She gets super jealous when any of us likes someone else’s cooking. But these are the best tamales I’ve ever tasted, seriously, try a bite. Whoa! It’s like eating pure joy! I totally want one. Want what? [shrieking] Yummy! These are fantastic. Looks like we got a new story, these delicious cookies. That’s right, Katherine. We are Clincoln McCloud Cookie Company! And we’re open for business! Alright. Time to start cooking. First up, your Nana Gayle ordered a dozen for her sky diving club. Let’s do this. Ooh, nice label. Thanks. I’m drawing a mini-comic on each one. Keeping it fun, you know. Oooh! Nice, our first dozen down. And it only took us… Four hours?! How many more orders do we have to make for tomorrow? Ten orders for a total of 15 dozen cookies, which will take, um… [ringing] – Lisa? – 60 hours or 2.5 days. And that’s with no potty break. You were listening? How? I’m at Clyde’s house. Your surveillance measures have gone too far. I heard it through your walkie talkie, you boob. Huh? Oh! Well… Thank you. You’re welcome. Here’s another tip. Hire employees. If two nincompoops can make a dozen cookies in four hours, think how many cookies six or seven nincompoops could make – in that time. – Hey! One last tip. Maybe look for a bigger work space. How do you know the layout of my kitchen? Gotta go. So, do we know anyone with professional baking experience? No, but I can think of some other people who might be available. Thanks for coming. My sisters were too busy to help, but you guys will get to share in the profits. Plus, you get all the leftover cookies you can eat. – Sounds great. – Hot dog. I don’t know man. A hairnet? These locks can’t be tamed. – Hut! – Just put it on, Rust. [grunting] Whoa, easy tiger. [chuckles nervously] That rolling pin is vintage. Oh, sorry. I’ll be more gentle. Still a little rough there. I’m barely pressing it. Here, why don’t I just do it? Well, the label looks great. But, are these… bite marks? Wait. All the cookies have them. Zach! What the heck?! What? I’m doing quality control. Bad news bud, we’re out of butter. Dang it. I already used up my allowance on the first round of ingredients. And I used up mine on that vintage rolling pin. Ah, don’t worry fellers, I’m on it. Now which one of yous got a gentle touch? [mooing] Hey guys. Come look at the conveyor belt I rigged up. I think it’ll make things go a lot faster. I made it out of a treadmill your parents were getting rid of. See? We could do an assembly line, and- [tweeting, mooing] Annabell, no! – Watch the hair, man! – Save the cookies! Whoa, hey! Oh! [screaming] Sorry, but no amount of free cookies is worth this hassle. I’m with Rusty. – Same. – Likewise. Come on, we should probably go finish our history projects anyway. [groaning] [gasping] Our history project! We haven’t even started! But we promised cookies to all those people. Well I guess we just have to buckle down and get baking. Baking powder! Cinnamon! Oats! HURRY! Gah! Hand cramp! Argh! [panting] [sighing] There. Last one, we did it. [sighing] Here are the cookies for your anniversary, sir. Sorry they’re so awful looking. We got you these as back up too. Oh. Well thanks! [clamoring] Also, we fixed the pudding machine. These were clogging it. [gasping] Those are Scoots’ chompers! [laughing] You can’t prove it! Ah, I get it, boys. Bit off a little more than you could chew. Eh? Eh? [laughing] Yeah, we definitely did. We thought we’d be the Cookie Kings of Royal Woods, but there’s so much more to running a business than we realized. Managing employees, tracking inventory, wrangling dairy cows. Ha! Well, don’t worry. There’ll be plenty of time to figure it all out when you’re older. Anyways, enjoy being a kid while you can. Will do. – Bye Mr. Loud. – Bye Dad. I’ll see… Gah! Dang it. Hey guys, we’re sorry for putting you through all that mess. We made you these apology cookies. – No worries. – Forget about it. Sorry you guys weren’t able to finish your history project. Oh we did. We had some dough scraps left over so we made Cookie Stonehenge. – Huh? – What happened? Sorry, I thought these were the apology cookies. [laughing] I’m sorry, dad. I’m literally a terrible waitress, even with robot arms. I guess our dream of working together isn’t going to happen after all. Nah, don’t give up yet, Lori-Lori-Morning Glory, there are plenty of other jobs you could try. You know what, I could really use an assistant chef, plus if you’re back here, we get to hang out even more. [laughing] Perfect! So what can I get started on? How about you give those onions the old chippity-chop? I’m on it. Found a new job, luck startin’ to turn, choppin’ these onions, eyes, starting to burn. Ow! Ow! Towel! I need a towel! Wait, no. My aged ribeye! Whoa! [thudding] My best friend! Sorry, Dad! Sorry, Kotaro! Is there maybe a third job I could try? So you’ll have the steaks here by four? Great, thanks Viera. [thudding] – I take it you’re the valet. – Yup. Fancy joint. There, don’t ding it, chief. [chittering] [gagging] I’ll just breath through my mouth. Come on. That can’t be good. Why won’t this get into gear?! [shrieking, thudding] [sighing] Maybe there’s a fourth job I could try. [shrieking, thudding] Ah! What the dingous? No! Better at this. Whoo-whee, that’s a nice john, I could have spent the afternoon in there. Whoa! Sorry, I forgot to put out the wet floor sign. [thudding] Hot cheese! Ooh, that’s tasty though. Okay, this is the only job left, I can not mess this up. All I have to do is shut it, and press start. Oh, no, I forgot the soap. Gah! Turn off! Turn off! Oh, no! Sweetie! I’ll help you. [thudding] Oh! Dad, I’m so sorry, but, I literally failed at every job. There’s nothing left for me to even try, I give up. [crying] Awe, don’t worry, kiddo. I’m sure we can still figure something out. No, Dad, you should hire someone who will actually help you, not make your job harder. Oh, I forgot to mention, I ordered more steaks from the distributors, since we lost all that ribeye, it should be here by four. And I adjusted Kotaro and Grant’s Saturday shifts, no need to have them both working in the morning when you’re not busy, right? Oh, uh, I, I didn’t think to- Last thing, I posted the specials online, so customers could see them ahead of time. Wow, that’s actually a really- [sighing] I better leave before I mess anything else up. – You’re not going anywhere. – Huh? I just realized there’s a perfect job – for you here after all; Manager. – What? All those things you just told me about; Ordering, scheduling, promoting, that’s all stuff a great manager does, and I could really use one/ I’ve been using my hat as a filing cabinet. What do you say, kiddo? You really think I could be manager? ♪ Slicin’ and dicin’ this kiwi♪ ♪ So fast You can’t even see me ♪ ♪ I’m a blur, I’m a blur- ♪ Ow! My finger. Hey, Dad. I got the table cloths laundered. Oh, and I found extra chairs in the basement so we don’t need to order more. And I made the puzzle on the kiddie menu harder, per Lisa’s request. Wow, you did all that in a morning? – Mmm-hmm. – Kiddo, you are the best manager I could ever hope for. Thanks Dad, I’m just glad we found a way to spend more time together. Ah, me too sweetie, let’s make the most of it while you… Still here. She loved everything I made! In fact, Dean DuPont said I just have to pass one last exam tonight. I have to cook her an entire dinner. If I nail it, I’ll be into the academy! – Yeah! – Yeah! – Yeah! – Yeah! Alright! Clyde, what’s wrong? [sniffs] There’s only one drawback: The school’s in… Paris. NOOOOOOOOO! Aw, it’s happening again. Clyde’s leaving us, just like when Lincoln done went to Canada. Let’s not lose our heads here. I’m not a 1,000% sure I’m going yet. They might not even pick me. Your food is divine. Of course you’ll get in. I’ll miss you guys like crazy, but this is an incredible opportunity. Where else can I learn to cook sole meuniére, concombre a la men the, escargot… Wait, Clyde. What if you could learn to cook all those things here in Royal Woods? I know someone who can teach you. Then we wouldn’t lose you. Ooh, give it a try, Clyde. Please? Yeah, we’re your crew, table 10 at lunch, the Action News Team! We have to stick together. But who are you thinking could teach me? I know just the guy. Bonjour, Clyde. Ready to cook French food? I’m so excited, I can’t wait. Wow, thanks, Mr. Loud. I had no idea you studied French cuisine. Well, I follow a French cooking vlog, which is basically the same thing. Every time my boy Charcuterie Sheldon goes live, I feel alive! We’re going to make escargot, just like you were gonna learn in Paris. Charcuterie Sheldon said the key to ‘snailing’ it is the sauce. [chuckles] Get it? ‘Cause… ’cause we’re cooking snails. [chuckles] Good one, Mr. Loud. Let’s start by mixing some butter… Clive. The lunch rush is starting. Uh, should I come back later? No, no. You’ll learn on the fly. Next step. Add some garlic to that. Hold on! Don’t forget the nacho cheese! Mm-mm-mm. Oh-oh! It’s way too hot. No worries, just add ice cubes. Okay, you’re the teacher. Gotta pour on that pesto. Need to use that milk before it goes bad. Ah, I got to throw those fish heads someplace. It’s time to dump all the chunky chili. Stir till frothy. Finished! Order in the window! [grunting] Ugh. Ah, sorry I got busy, Clyde. So, did you add the garlic? Oh, I added everything you said. The crew is enjoying it right now. [vomiting] Well, what other chefs in Royal Woods do we know? Chef Pat, do you know anything about French cooking? Pfft, I know everything. I used to be the head chef on a 60 foot yacht off the French Riviera. Here. Try a nutty buckwheat galette. Nutty. Smooth. So why do you cook sloppy joes all the time? ‘Cause that’s what you kids like. Chef Pat, you have to teach Clyde all about French cooking, or else he’s moving to Paris. Pleeeease! Hmm. That’s a lot to ask, but I’ll do it, on one condition. While I’m with Clyde, you guys gotta take care of my niece, Waffles… [growling] If she tries to bite you, give her waffles. They calm her down. [barking] I was thinking we could try the Quiche Lorraine recipe… Okay, but I got a whole school to feed so we’re gonna need to multiply this by, like uh, 500. I think. Math wasn’t my best subject. I’m more of a fine arts gal. [growling] Waffle! I’m starving and Waffles won’t share. Hey, you got any snacks in there? [Clyde] Oh, no, we used too many eggs. [screaming] I don’t think this Chef Pat thing is working, dawgs. Yeah, Clyde’s gonna pick Paris for sure. Well, we’re not giving up, right? Heck no. This ain’t over till the rooster crows in the morn’. We gotta keep the gang together. Good. Now I hate to do this, but we’re gonna have to go with Plan B: Sabotage his final dinner tonight. [doorbell ringing] Thanks for coming, guys. If this dinner goes well, I know I’ll be moving but, don’t worry. I’ve already started working out a daily schedule for video chatting. [laughing] Guys, this is Dean DuPont. Dean DuPont, these are my friends. They insisted on being here for moral support. Bonjour, mademoiselle. Mwah. [chuckles] Enchante. What a cultured young man. [chuckles] Dinner is about to be served. Would you all please follow me to the dining room? Everyone, I’ll now bring out les hors d’oeuvres. Clyde, let me give you a hand. Now where did I put the fresh chives? Perfect! And here are the mini croque monsieurs. Uh, why do you have two plates? This one’s for the cats. [screeching] Mm, Clyde, c’est un delice. Time for the second course. Uh… Psst, I’ll take this one. [whistling] You look like you got your hands full, dawg. I’ll get this one to the table. [gasping] Actually, this one is for Zach. [gasping] [groaning] This is for everyone else. [gasping] Zach, I know you’re not a fish guy, so I made you a chicken substitute. Thanks, Clyde. How thoughtful. [clearing throat] [grunting, coughing, panting] Come on, Zach, take a bite. Clyde went to a lot of trouble. It’s a little spicy. Hmm, I did put some arugula in there. Well, while you all enjoy the salmon, I’m gonna bring out the main course; Shallot showered entrecote. Heck, Clyde, I’ll give you a hand. [gasping] Good gravy! Is that a yellow Sac spider? Oh it’s a’jumpin’. Now it’s over there. What? Where? [grunting] [grunting] Got it! That’s a whole lot of spider guts. We can serve the grub now. I’d like to make a toast to Clyde and his amazing future at the academy. You’ll spend every minute honing your cooking skills. A semester of pasties, a semester of soups, a year of souffles. And after you finish at the academy, you’ll study crepe making in Britain. Then onto the Jura mountains for compte cheese making. You have a very bright future ahead of you, Clyde. Oh, my gosh, it’s everything our sweet baby Clyde has ever wanted. The toast est finie. I can not wait any longer to try this delicious food. You can’t open that! Qu’est se qu’il ce passe ici. Uh… I’d really like my dinner, s’il vous plait. Lincoln, stop it. Give her the meal. Uh, nope. Unfortunately, I can not do that. Zach, run! [gasping] Give it back, Zach. [grunting] Stella, Liam, catch! [gasping] Whoa! [clattering] [panting, grunting] [sighing] [screaming] Watch out! What is wrong with you guys?! We couldn’t let Dean DuPont have her dinner because… we sabotaged it. What?! Sorry, Clyde. We just didn’t want you to get into that fancy Francy academy. You’d live so far away from us. But we can’t hold you back from the most amazing opportunity you’ve ever gotten. Please give Clyde another chance to cook for you. His food is incredible. Come on, guys, we’d better go. Wait! Look, it’s not cool that you guys tried to ruin my dinner, but I’ve changed my mind about the academy. [gasping] I know it’s an incredible opportunity, but the curriculum sounds a little intense. I mean, cheese making in the mountains? I have a phobia of tall, snow capped places. And no offense, but I really don’t want my future planned out. I love cooking, but I don’t know that I want to spend my whole life doing it. I might change my mind and become a teacher or a motorcycle stuntman. [gasping] I’m sorry for all the trouble. I understand, Clyde, but a talent like yours shouldn’t go to waste. I think there’s still a way we can cook together. Dip the eclair into the chocolat, allowing the excess to drip of. Tres bien, Clyde! Merci! These part-time classes are the highlight of my week. Ours too! [growling, gasping] [burping [crying] Hey, Tía Frida, are you okay? I’m fine, I just get emotional whenever I watch Camila. We used to be in love, but now all we do is bicker. Like me and Priscilla! She says I have a shopping addiction. Aye, mis corazones. When we come back, it’s makeup or breakup time. Breakup! Breakup! Breakup! Is your relationship in troubl? [gasping] Look for these warning signs; Excessive bickering. Hector! Why are you eating again? We’re about to have dinner. This is an appetizer. Passive-aggressive vacuuming Aye! You’re making a mess. Awe. And the last most important sign, Sleeping on the couch Everyone off the couch, I have to make the bed for Hector. If this sounds familiar, don’t lose hope, call my Camila helpline now. [music playing] [barking] [chirping, honking] Guys, we have a situation. I think Abuelo and Abuela’s relationship is in trouble. Pshh, please. Yeah, they’ve been married for like a billion years. But all the warning signs are there. I don’t wanna take any chances, there’s must be something we can do to rekindle the romance. [gasping] Ooh, why don’t we just get them to do sweet, thoughtful things for each other. Perfect. [Sergio] 1,003, 1,004. Camila says couples that stay fit, stay together. [squawking] Gah! Spot, spot! Roberto, I’m off to run errands, then my four p.m. nap. While you’re out, maybe you can pick up some flowers for Abuela. Hombre, even if I did have time, why should I pay top dollar for something that’ll wilt and die? So your marriage doesn’t wilt and… Good point, Abuelo, maybe you have time to write her a song. I already wrote her one. ♪ Oh mi amor Please stop your nagging ♪ [giggles] [whistling] Hi Abuela. Abuelo was just bragging about your mole. – Right? – Totally. Hey, maybe you could cook it for him tonight. Mole takes hours, and I have to finish unclogging the drain in apartment 4D. Those girls have so much hair. I’ll see you kids when I get back. This isn’t working, they’re too busy for romantic gestures. Then we’re going to have to unclog their schedules. Break up! Break up! Break up! Hey Abuela, take a break, we can do your chores. We’ll take care of that for you too Abuelo. Really? Now you kids go do something fun, or romantic, like a picnic in the park, or a carriage ride. Gracias Mija. Hector, I’ll be at the hardware store. Adiós, I’m gonna sit in the massage chair at the mall. [grunting] You guys, I need an outfit for dinner tomorrow. Does this print go with goulash? It doesn’t matter ’cause we’re not having goulash tomorrow. Yes, we are, Lincoln. We have it every Thursday, and there’s literally nothing we can do about it. She’s right. It’s all in my poem: "Dinner. The same seven meals. How do you cope? The only plan is to give up hope. Dinner." – So true. – Tell it, sister. Wise words. Fine. I guess no one wants pizza. [gasping] Did someone say "pizza"? When the schnitzel fell off the table, Dad said he almost had to order pizza, so if we sabotage tomorrow’s dinner, that’s what we’ll get. Now, huddle up. Lana, why don’t you rinse off first? ♪ I just came back From the grocery store ♪ ♪ Gonna get my goulash on Noodles, tomatoes, meat galore♪ ♪ Gonna get my goulash- ♪ – Hey, Dad! There’s something I’ve always wondered about. Why do you make goulash on Thursdays? [laughing] Oh, son. It’s a funny story. Thursdays are a bit of a conundrum. Not many foods start with "TH". There’s Thai food, but coconut milk really does a number on the old Lynn-testines, if you know what I’m saying. And three-bean salad… well, that’s just three times as bad, right? Now, there is a Greek dish called Thessalonikian sheep dip, but your mother finds it a little gamey. You’re right. That is a funny story. Got to go! But, son, I didn’t tell you about threatened-species stir fry yet! It’s very rare. Get it? [beeping] Good work, team. If my calculations are correct, Dad should be ordering pizza in… T minus 15 seconds. An orange? Where’s all my goulash stuff? I know I bought it, ’cause I was singing about it. Dang it! [sighing] I guess I’ll have to… Three, two, one. Go back to the store. Aww! I knew I should’ve chloroformed him. Unconscious people can’t make goulash. Don’t worry. Dad’s not going anywhere. Gah! Well, my horoscope did say Libras should expect the unexpected today. Bad news, kids. I’ve got to put the kibosh on tonight’s goulash. – Aww! – What a shame. – Too bad. – I need to take a moment. But, fortunately, your old dad’s got a backup plan. I’ll get the phone, Daddy. I’m making tomorrow’s dinner tonight. Frank and beans Friday on Thursday. In your face, horoscope! I’ll get the chloroform. ♪ Franks and beans Do do do ♪ ♪ Frank’s, yeah, yeah And beans and beans and beans ♪ ♪ And beans, beans, beans ♪ Big cheese to toppings. Target is in position. Move out. Be careful, guys. There’s not mushroom for error. [laughing] Luan, this line is not for jokes. My baked beans. What is happening? I guess there’s only one thing to do. [phone dialing] Make franks and Lima beans. [groaning] Where the heck is our can opener?! [grunting] Ahh. Thank you, Geo. Nothing like a little Lynn-genuity. Where are the dang knives? I’ve got 20 hot dogs to slice. AH! Pot raccoons! No problem. We’ll do a casserole. [grunting] I’ll just heat her up in the old coffee pot. That’s using the old bean. Dang it. I’m proud of you guys. It was touch and go for a while, but we all hung in there and… Dinner’s served! ♪ Franks, franks and beans They’re Lima – What? – Franks and beans ♪ It’s not exactly hot, but I’d rather eat cold beans than a plate of failure. [groaning] Someone get me the phone. Yes! Pizza! Pepperoni! Yay! Pizza! Dinner. Goulash again. That’s a nope. A bite of pizza, it tastes like hope. Dinner. [music playing] Wow. What a night. Maybe next week we can get Dad to order Chinese. WHY IS THERE MEAT IN MY SHOES?! Dang it. Does anyone have anything to say? Leni, why would you hide the meat in the slippers Dad wears every night? Because his pockets were full. What is this? Pasta? Someone please explain why I’m wearing my goulash? We did it, Dad. We sabotaged dinner so you’d order us pizza. [gasping] We’re really sorry. But eating the same dinners over and over again was driving us crazy. You guys have no idea how hard it is to cook seven nutritious meals a week for 13 different people on a budget. I’d say your dad does a pretty great job. Aw, that means a lot, honey. You’ll understand someday when you have to cook for your own family. Cook for your own family? That’s it! Let us make dinner tomorrow night. We have tons of ideas. Dad will get a break, we’ll make something delicious and show you it’s not that hard to mix up the menu. Fine by me. Ooh! We could probably use this onion. Remember, guys, this is about more than just tonight’s dinner. These grilled cheeses really have to change hearts and minds. Grilled cheese? I wanna make a cake! I can’t eat cake for dinner. I’ll literally break out! Let’s make shepherd’s pie! It’s Mick Swagger’s favorite, dudes. You guys, I got it. Let’s make goulash. We did all this so we wouldn’t have to eat goulash. And now I miss it. Might I suggest something more sophisticated? Perhaps a vichyssoise? [imitating buzzer] We need body fuel. I’ll blend us up some protein shakes. Your brain’s been blended if you think I’m drinking that barf. Wait! We can drink barf? Grilled cheese beats all! – Protein shake! – Cake! Guys, guys, stop. We’ll do a potluck. Everyone make your own dish. Great idea. Then we’ll have nothing to fight about. It’s mine! I need it for my scrambly eggs! Well, I need it for my deviled eggs. Mind if I poach that? [laughing] Get it? [laughing] [shrieking] Literally? [beeping] MY VICHYSSOISE! [gasping] My cake! Guys? Everything okay in there? – Like, awesome! – Super! Good! Your mom and I are getting hungry for dinner! Hope you’re almost ready to fork it over! You guys, we’ve got nothing. Failure is not an option. We have to serve something or we’ll be eating the same seven dinners forever. Oh, wow. You made, uh, Potatoes. – Quinoa. – Turkey. – Chicken. – Meatloaf. – Bologna. – Frosting. – Cereal. – Goulash. – Barf. Well, bon appetit. [gagging] Mmm, it’s, uh… [gagging] I can’t get it off my tongue! I can’t get it off my tongue! Mom, Dad, we’re sorry. You guys were right. Cooking for this many people is a nightmare. We’ll never complain about your food again. – We didn’t mean it. – We promise. I’m not keeping that promise. Now that we totally learned our lesson, can we order pizza? – Pizza! – Indian! Sorry, kids. Our food budget for this week is shot. So we’re not having any dinner? Nonsense! Necessity is the mother of Lynn-vention! To the kitchen! So, what have we got? I found a jar of olives! This spoon still has a little mustard on it. And I’ve got some chopped up sports bars. And I’ve got some jams! Ooh! Where? Oh. Those kind of jams. Olives. Pepper. Baking pan. Other half of baking pan. Tape. Stat, man! Stat! What are you making, Dad? I’m not really sure, but let’s call it… Casa Loud Casserole! Ooh! I have the perfect outfit for that! Honey, that was delicious. – Amazing! – So good! Thank you. I think you kids were right. It’s time I started mixing up the menu. Really?! Yep. In fact, I’m going to the store right now to get some new Lynn-gredients. [cheering] [crashing] Oops. Heh, heh. Forgot to put the brake pads back on. This smell is… divine. Huh? Luana Banana, it’s you? Oh, hey, Dad. Is that a Monte Cristo sandwich on brioche? Ah. I messed it up. It’s supposed to be on bread. No! No brioche is bread. It’s French. Hey, what’s the occasion? Wait, this isn’t a trick sandwich, is it? [sighing] No, we picked electives in school, and I got locked out of my top two choices. Advanced Punning, and To Hee Hee or not to Hee Hee, the Philosophical Joke in You. And now I’m stuck taking Intro to Cooking, and I can’t imagine a more boring class. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And I can’t imagine a more delicious sandwich! Luan, you have some real talent! Really? I don’t know much about food. Comedy is more my bread and butter. [laughing] Get it? [laughing] Good one, honey! Actually, cooking is a lot like comedy. A balance of creativity and performance. Just give me a chance to show you how much fun cooking can be! It’s always been my dream to share my passion with one of you kids! What do you have to lose? I’m in! Whoo-hoo! Ugh! Say it, don’t spray it, pal! Here we go, matching chef hats. Ya gotta look good to cook good. Hey, what about me? Okay. Uh. There you go. Now, Let’s see that syllabus. Ah, yes, first assignment: Eggs. The versatile rock star of the food world. You can boil ’em, poach ’em, fry ’em, shirr ’em, quiche ’em, scotch ’em, Benedict ’em. [sighing] And always remember, it’s okay to yoke around in the kitchen. ♪ Da da da ♪ No. [sighing] [laughing] There it is, I knew I’d get you to crack a smile. [laughing] Go ahead, give it a fry . So, how’d I do? [gasping] I’ve always wondered how I’d look in egg. It’s just… It’s just more beautiful than I ever imagined. [gasping] Bad Charles! Stop eating my face! Wow, honey, impressive knife work, swift, but safe. Hold on there, a good chef always inspects her crudité platter. [screaming] It’s, uh, finger food. Get it? [laughing] Well, aren’t you a fungi ? Mm, mm, ugh. That one had some dirt on it. Finished the lava cake. Well it’s got the four Cs of a great cake; chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, and creativity. [giggles] [rumbling] Uh, honey, how much baking powder did you use? Oh, I’m not sure, you made a pun and I got distracted. [whistling, screaming] Oh, no. Sorry, Dad. Mm mm. No, Luan, I lava it. Happy accidents in the kitchen are part of the fun. Mmm. Mmm. Final exam. Cooking dinner for ten or more people. Oh, an entire dinner. That seems intense. Intense but fun. The best part of being a chef is bringing others joy with your food. And I’ve got the perfect dish. Pasta, clams, butter. [gasping] Geo? Dad, we can’t cook our hamster. What? No, no! Scram, Geo. It’s my famous Lynn-guini. The first dish I ever served anyone. Now it’s your turn. You really think I can pull it off? Of course. And besides, who better to test your chops on than your own loving, supportive family? [clamoring] I’m getting hangry! Quiet down in there! You got this, kiddo. Oh. Okay, what you have in front of you is dad’s famous Lynn-guine and clams. It’s prepared al dente, in a beurre blanc sauce and finished with just a hint of parsley. Bon appetit. – Whoo-hoo! Oo-ah, Oo-ah! – Whoo-hoo! Hooray! Oh, ya crushed it! Oh, man. You were right, dad. Seeing those empty plates and happy faces is making me feel so… warm. Oh, honey that meant- Oh, that might be because the oven’s still on. No, no, I mean it. That felt almost as good as getting a big laugh on stage. I’m kinda bummed my elective is over. I’ve had so much fun cooking with you Dad. Oh! Well, I’m glad to hear that, ’cause the fun doesn’t have to end. [gasping] Lynn and Luan’s Table? Yeah! That’s right honey, I want you to carry on the Loud legacy and take over the restaurant someday. What? Me? No. Who, me? Really? Ah! I can see it now! You and me taking the restaurant world by storm. Cracking jokes and yolks, making puns and buns. Well, I have been having a lot of fun. And there’s so much more to be had. Hmm, let’s do it! Oh, it’s happening! This might be the happiest moment of my life. Ah! Get in here you big dummy! [snoring] [gong banging] Ah! Luna! I thought we made a roommate pact. I don’t dip your hand in warm water while you’re sleeping, and you don’t play your gong after 10:00 p.m. Wasn’t me dude. [gong banging] Dad? What are you doing? Maybe he’s sleep gonging. A good chef rises early to source the freshest ingredients. – But it’s- – Fun, right? All good practice for when you take over the restaurant. Wait ’til you meet our fish lady. You’re gonna love her. [groaning] It’s all about the fuzz. [gasping, sniffing] Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff, Deb. Grab a sniff of the ocean, Luan. – Uhh… – Fluffier. – Uhh… – Frothier! – Uhh! – FOAMIER! [sighing] Alright Dad. We need to talk. Aw! We sure do. Honey, this sauce is amazing! I think we found ourselves a new menu item! – But- – Hang on, I gotta call my sauce guy. Ay! Mikey Marinara, you’re never gonna believe what my daughter made! [groaning] [bell ringing] I’ve really been getting into… – Hey honey. – [gasping] Dad! What are you doing here? I brought lunch! But I already have lunch. Oh, you can’t be eating basic PB&Js. If you’re gonna take over the restaurant, you need to work on refining your palette. Okay, I got Limburger cheese… [gagging] A main course of beef Bourguignon, and don’t worry, I brought dessert. It’s an oldie but a goody. It’s baked Alaska. Well almost. [chuckles] [yelping] [beeping] [groaning] Mr. Coconuts, keep this between us, but, I don’t wanna cook anymore. Dad’s kinda taken all the fun out of it, and I don’t know how to tell him that, he’s just so happy. You know? Mr. Coconuts? [gasping] Lincoln! Have you seen this funnyman? Two feet tall, orange hair, has a real ear for punchlines. I know Mr. Coconuts, Luan, but sorry, don’t know where he is. [groaning] So, you haven’t seen him, and you also have a poo-poo? Mmm-hmm. [groaning] Luna, have you seen Mr. Coconuts? Actually no, and if I’m being honest it’s been kinda nice. Lock down the house! Call the cops! File a missing persons report! Mr. Coconuts is officially MIA. Oh, honey relax. Mr. Coconuts is fine. Yeah, I put him into storage. Huh? Wait! Why would you do that?! Luan, when I decided to dedicate my life to food, I didn’t touch a cowbell for months! Comedy can wait. You need to focus on cooking if you’re going – to take over the restaurant. – Dad… Of course, first, you’re gonna have to attend the Culinary Institute of Michigan, but someone with your talent should breeze right through. – Dad… – After that, it’s on to an apprenticeship. Maybe you can go somewhere fun like Paris. Oh! Or Kansas City! I heard they’re doing great stuff with ribs down there. [growling] After that, you can take over- I’M NOT TAKING OVER THE RESTAURANT!!! Oh, don’t give me that look. I was just helping to nurture Luan’s talent. [sighing] Oh, you’re right. What have I done? I need to fix this. Would you cut it out? Come on, man, stop. I said cut it out! – Hey! – What?! In most families, the kiddie table is something you only see at holidays. But in a family as big as mine, it’s part of everyday life. Hey, Lincoln, you like seafood? See? Food! Bleggh! Hey, Lucy! I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD! For gosh sakes, you guys! Cut it out! [groaning] It’s not right. My five older sisters get to sit at the grownup table with Mom and Dad, while I’m stuck here with my five younger sisters. How can you eat that broccoli when you know how much it suffered to get here? Uh, Lucy… broccoli doesn’t feel pain. Oh, no? Listen to the broccoli screaming, Lincoln! LISTEN TO IT! [screaming] CAN’T I JUST EAT MY DINNER IN PEACE?! Did you say peas? [laughing] Oh, you wanna play? Let’s play. My calibration seems to have been off by about 16 degrees. Mine wasn’t. [chattering, laughing] So, I said to the Prime Minister, "Two breads are better than one!" [laughing] Your comedy is so mature. Just like you. To Lincoln! He puts the ‘grownup’ in ‘grownup table’! To Lincoln! That’s it! I don’t belong here. I’m going to go ask to join the grownup table. – Ha! – Good luck. You really think they’re going to let you? Ooh. [laughing] [laughing] You’ll see. I’m going to make it to the grownup table and leave all you children behind. Well, Lincoln, you’ve come to the right place. As an only child, I’ve been at the grownup table my whole life. So you think you can help me? Did Napoleon have a Napoleon complex? That’s a grownup table joke. You don’t get it now, but you will soon. Now don’t worry, I have a surefire program that’ll get your family to stop seeing you as a kid. And start seeing me as a grownup. Careful, you’re giving Bun-Bun an Ouchie. Good morning, everybody! Ah, nothing like that first cup of morning joe. Ah, mountain grown. Hey, guys. There’s a really interesting article in here about how kids are maturing faster these days. They say 11 is the new 15. Ooh, the House is debating the new highways bill. This should be fascinating. Are you feeling okay? Me? Never felt better. Though the back’s a little stiff. Getting older ain’t easy. Am I right, ladies? I was using it first! Nuh-uh! I was! Give it to me! Lola! Lana! What’s going on? Don’t worry, Dad. I got this. Now, children, if you can’t share the jump rope, then neither of you gets to use it. Heh, kids. They just don’t get it, huh, Dad? [grunting] Ah, nothing like a nice, smooth face to start the day. Yup! Maybe I shouldn’t have used the razor Mom shaves her legs with. Never mind that. Our plan is working. You’re showing your family that you belong at the grownup table. Now comes phase two: How to act once you get there. This is the grownup table simulator. Now, show me your salad fork. Uh… this one? [air horn honking] Wrong. That’s your dinner fork. Now, have some bread. [air horn honking] Wrong! You just ate Lori’s bread! Don’t worry, beautiful. I’ll share my buns with you. [air horn honking] – Clyde! – Sorry. Where were we? So, Lynn, how about those Republicans? [air horn honking] Wrong! Never talk politics! Again. Um… we can really use some rain? [bell chiming] Soup spoon. Salad fork. Butter knife. Dessert plate. A candid picture of Lori? Oh! How’d that get in there? You’re making great strides, Lincoln. You feel it? Keep it up! You got heart, kid! Yeah, yeah! I’m all grown up! Not yet. You have one last step. I think my work here is done. Ready for the grownup table, big guy? Did Napoleon have a Napoleon complex? [laughing] I still don’t get it. Me neither. Good evening. I have something I’d like to say! [clearing throat] There comes a time in every kid’s life when he’s ready to put away childish things and make that big leap into the adult world. Get to the point, Lincoln. Okay. I don’t think I should sit at the kiddie table anymore. I want to sit at the grownup table with you. Well, I think he’s ready. So do I. Yes! Whoo-hoo! [ripping] Is that my suit? Liver? I thought we were having chicken nuggets. That’s just for the younger kids, honey. At the grownup table, we eat grownup food. And thank goodness for that. Liver fork. So, Lynn, how did you do on your math test today? Good, Mom. I think I really nailed those integers. So, Lori, I heard Bobby’s dad had a hernia operation. How’d that go? Um, okay, I guess. Hey, I heard a funny joke today. We don’t tell jokes at the grownup table. Or sing, brah. Beans, beans, the musical fruit! The more you eat, the more you- [farting noise] [laughing] [chuckles] Something funny, Lincoln? Not at this table. So it turns out we didn’t need the service call in the first place. The darn copier was just unplugged. [chuckles] How about that? Okay, you’re all excused. Uh, [chuckles] mother, I believe you forgot something. Dessert? Oh, that’s just for the younger kids. Ugh. Seriously? I mean, uh, seriously, who needs the extra calories? That’s right, son. Say, how’s it feel sitting at the old grownup table, huh? It’s everything I dreamed it would be. Clyde, the grownup table is a nightmare. I didn’t realize how good I had it at the kiddie table. I gotta get back. Negative, Lincoln. You can’t ask to leave now. Next time you ask your family for something, they won’t take you seriously. Is that what you want? – No, but- – Now I gotta run. My parents and I are doing our taxes! I gotta do something. Look, you guys. I thought about it, and I really don’t belong here. I think I should go back to the kiddie table. You can’t go back. You can never go back, bro! [gasping] You’re one of us now. A grownup. Better start working on those taxes, Lincoln! [screaming] Where do you think you’re going?! [screaming] PLEASE! I HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE KIDDIE TABLE! I’M NOT A GROWNUP YET! I’M STILL A KID! One of us. One of us. One of us. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [gasping] It’s all my fault. I worked so hard to prove I’m a grownup. Hmm… maybe it’s time to act my age. Lincoln Loud in the house. Where my grownups at? [humming] Are you ready to chow? I want to suck your blood. Lincoln, please don’t do that. Yo, that’s mine. Was it? Hey, Leni, you like seafood? See? Food. Blegh. Lincoln. Gross. Hey, how about those Republicans? Ugh. Lincoln, say it, don’t spray it. I didn’t hear the magic word. Peas! Oh, it is on. I mean, grow up, Lincoln. Good grub, Dad. It reminds me of a song. Beans, beans, the musical fruit! The more you eat, the more you- [farting] Everybody, now! [farting] Lincoln Loud, that is enough. I thought you were ready for the grownup table, but clearly you are not. You’re a tough lady, mom, but fair. Laters. Hey, guys. I’m back. Ah. It’s good to be home. What did I miss? Let’s ketchup . [laughing] Hey, can I join you guys? Sure. The more the merrier. [sighing] I never knew it was possible to make it out of the grownup table. Psst. Can we join too? Wow! Chicken nuggets! I haven’t seen these in years. [laughing] The kids have been really good this week, haven’t they? Oh, they’ve been great. No calls from school… No trips to the ER. I only had to raise my voice once. We should do something special for the kids. How about taking them out for ice cream when I get back? Oh, I love it! We could go to Auntie Pam’s Parlor! And you know what? I think someone’s ready for her first taste of ice cream! Oh! This is my favorite of all the milestones! What do you think, sweetie? You wanna try some… [slow motion] ice cream? [gasping? Ice ceam? [gasping] [laughing] [trumpeting] [gasping] [laughing] [music playing] [gasping] [gasping] [laughing] [gasping] [music playing] [gasping] [screaming] So ice cream sounds good? Darn tootin. If today goes okay too. Let’s see if your siblings can behave for just a few more hours. Cause if they can, it’s ice cream time. Don’t touch my glasses! [arguing] [screaming, grunting] Uh, Lily, is everything okay? Isn’t this cute? Lily’s calling a sibling meeting. [panting] [babbling] Good job, Lily, you drew… an upside down tree. [sighing] I think she’s trying to tell us something. Perhaps the infant has some trapped wind. [groaning] No! You guys are all wrong. She’s clearing waving at us. I guess Lily called this meeting just to say hi. Hi, Lily. Hi, Lily. Okay. Bye, Lily. [groaning] [Lynn Sr] ♪ Checking the mail ♪ ♪ Skippa-Dee-bop ♪ ♪ What did we get In the latest crop? ♪ ♪ Do do do ♪ Ow, ow, ow! Oh, ow! [groaning] No more ice cream! [screaming] [panting] [grunting] [Lynn Sr] ♪ Maybe a card, maybe a bill ♪ ♪ Checking the mail Is always a thrill ♪ ♪ Doo doo doo Ba-da-Ba-da! Doodley doo doo doo… ♪ [sighing] Lincoln! I’ve got a code denim! You’re stuck in a pair of skinny jeans?! I was trying to update my look, but now I can’t feel my legs! Mopping the floor can wait. I’m on my way! Don’t struggle, Clyde, it’ll only make it worse. [thudding] Hmmph. I wanna watch my pageant show! I wanna watch my penguin show! – Got it! – Give it to me! [honking] [babbling] Lynn Loud looks down field, but nobody’s open! She’s going for the quarterback sneak! – Huh? – If all goes accordion to plan, my family will glove this prank! [shrieking] [screaming] [yelling] No more ice cream! [whistling] [yelling] And now, back to Penguin Pageants! Huh? [whistling] [giggling] Walt, knock it off! [thudding] [screaming] Oh no, it’s a fumble! [gasping] Well, this is nice to see everybody getting along. And Luan’s even taking a nap. Yep, they’ve been perfect all day. Not a single mess or meltdown. That’s all I needed to hear. Kids, come down here, please! Do you want to tell them the surprise, or should I? Oh, you do it. You guys have been so well-behaved this week, we wanted to do- Luan, wake up! Something nice for you. So everybody get in Vanzilla, because- I changed my mind! I wanna tell them! We’re going for ice cream! [cheering] Ketch-up, my little tomatoes. Time to head out! Come beat the heat at Auntie Pam’s Parlor. But make sure you get here by five, we’re closing early this week to give our scoopers a break. Don’t forget, 5:00 p.m.! One more time; 5:00 p.m.! 5:00 p.m.! [beeping] [babbling] I-I-I know, sweetie. I’m excited for ice cream, too. [beeping] Your estimated arrival time at Auntie Pam’s Parlor is 4:46 p.m. See you soon, Lily! [kissing] [gasping] Cherry… [vehicle braking] [honking] There’s never this much traffic on this street. Your new estimated arrival time is 5:05 p.m. No biggie. Auntie Pam’s doesn’t close ’til 8:00. [grunting] Oh, you wanna play with Daddy’s phone, Lily? Okay, but please don’t call Aunt Ruth again. It’s two hours I’ll never get back. [beeping] Rerouting. Make a U-turn onto Oakville Road. Oh, look at that. Lily accidentally found us a faster route. [chuckles] [honking] Your new estimated arrival time is 4:52 p.m. [sirens blaring] Shoot, what now? [sirens blaring] Ma’am, did you know your registration’s expired? I’ll have to write you a ticket for that. Get comfy; this could take a while. Ahh! My bike! Come back, precious! Uh. Thanks, officer! We’ll take that as a warning! Whoo! Your new estimated arrival time is 4:58 p.m. Phew! You have arrived at your destination. Uh-oh. Oh, honey. Please tell me you didn’t forget your wallet. This place only takes cash. The emergency $20! Lily, you’ve done it again! Yay, Lily! Hi, can I get one scoop of vanilla ice cream, please? [babbling] [chuckles] Okay, guess she has other ideas. One sundae, please. [gasping] You ready, Lily? Okay, guys, I’m recording. I can’t believe this is the last time we get to introduce a little Loud to ice cream! – Go, Lily! – Whoo-hoo! [squawking] [crying] Oh, no. Sweetie, don’t worry. We’ll get you a new sundae. Uh, excuse me! No dice, dudes, they close at 5:00 this week. What? Huh, you think they’d advertise something like that. [crying] Oh, poor baby. Let’s get you home. [crying] – Oh, it’s okay, Lily. – Cheer up, Lily. Oh, Lily… I’ve never seen Lily look so sad. You’ll get that ice cream sundae, Lily. Perhaps when the road isn’t so rocky! Don’t have a mint chip on your shoulder about this. Ugh, Luan, read the room. [gasping] [grunting] It’s okay, honey. We’ll be home soon. [pooping] Uh, what is that? It smells like a thousand angry skunks. [groaning] Somebody needs a diaper change, stat. ♪ A little powder A little wipey ♪ ♪ Now you’ve got A fresh new diapie ♪ [grunting] [grunting] We got a runner! [thudding, grunting] Oh, look what Lily found. That gives me an idea. One ice cream sundae coming up. Don’t forget the gummy bears. Whipped topping in the hizz house. And some yummy cookie crumbles. [thudding] [mumbling] Thanks, Flip, but you’re not supposed to be talking. After your wisdom teeth surgery. You guys, she’s about to try it. [gasping] [laughing] [laughing] If I didn’t know better, I’d swear Lilly orchestrated this whole thing. Oh, don’t be silly, honey. She’s just a baby. [chuckles] [gasping] Roberto! You’re all bones and skin! Eat! Eat! [squawking] Sergio… [chuckling] You’re still alive. [hissing] [laughing] Looks like your little buddy missed you. Lalo, get off me! [laughing] Looks like your little buddy missed you, too. So, have you told the kids yet? No. Not yet. And please keep it a secret. Ay, don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. Are you talking about the secret? I might have told Papa. Hector! I said to be quiet about the secret! And Mama. Are we talking about your secret? Okay, I told everyone! [chuckles] Guys, please don’t say anything. I haven’t found the right moment to talk to Bobby and Ronnie Anne. It would be such a big change. I want to make sure they’re on board. I will help convince them. I appreciate it, but- We’ll all convince them! I will light my special candle. It works every time. You guys are going to love all the changes we’ve made to the bodega. As long as you still got – those ice pops I like. – Whoa! Ronnie Anne, you don’t wanna go to the boring bodega. Ugh. No, Bobby! There’s a vicious new street gang in the neighborhood! Even Lalo is terrified of them! [cats screeching] Now’s our chance! So, the gang has cats? The gang is cats! Check it out! I found some really cute dresses at the thrift store for you. I even found two of these so we can match. Ooh! Now you’re gonna get all the boys’ attention. Uh, Carlota, this isn’t really my- Here. This covers up the moth ball smell. [coughing] Wouldn’t it be fun if we could do this everyday? That would be kinda hard since we live in different states. Oh my gosh. [chuckling] You two already look like sisters. Wait. What? Oh, hey, hey! I have a fun idea. Let’s wax our legs! [dinging] Look, Bobby! We got a new bell! Okay, CJ, let’s not wear it out. It cost me $12. Grandpa! I love what you’ve done with the place, but have you ever considered putting the milk in the rear of the store? Then, people would buy other things on their way to it. It’s called impulse shopping. I learned that at my supermarket job. You’re a genius! [scoffing] Yeah, but can do… THIS?! LOOK AWAY! Did you know that male seahorses are the ones who give birth? Look at that. Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow, ow. Shh, Carlitos! I’m just getting a snack. We don’t want grandma to find out. Shh! Aha! I always know when someone in my house is hungry. But, but- Sit. Don’t you wish Grandma could cook for you everyday? It’d be great, but by the time it got to Royal Woods, it would be a little cold. What?! You’ve got a cold? You know what really opens up the sinuses? Hot sauce! I just came here for milk. How did I spend $150? That milk trick really worked! You are a natural! You’ll be running this store in no time! – Wait. What? – I mean, did you hear Vito Filliponio whitens his teeth? Ugh… I think I have a stomachache. I have an old Casagrande remedy for that: Lick your finger… and put it in your bellybutton. I’m suddenly feeling better! Ronnie Anne! I just had another great idea. Let’s pierce your ears! Not now! She’s eating! Okay, smile with your eyes! Ronnie Anne blinked. One more! Not now, Mom! I’m about to pierce her bellybutton! – Wait! You said ears! – She’s not done eating! I only need two seconds. Come on! [sighing] [squawking] Showtime! Uh… what’s happening? Ooh! Our show’s on! The Dream Boat! This is Lori’s favorite show. And so it’s mine, too. Next on The Dream Boat, who will Karen send overboard tonight? Ugh. I hope it’s Brock. He has no style. [arguing] Oh, sweetie, wouldn’t it be nice if we could do this everyday? Why does everyone keep saying that? I have to go to the bathroom. Ronnie Anne, you missed it! Blaine walked the plank. How much do you love the show? Who do you think Karen will pick tomorrow night? – It’d better be Brock! – He doesn’t deserve her! [arguing] [snoring] [snoring] [sighing] Finally, some peace and quiet. [rumbling, train honking] [sighing] [meowing] Really, Lalo? [grunting] [snoring] [squawking] I’m naked! [sighing] [train honking] This weekend’s gone by so fast. I’m really gonna miss everybody. Nuh-uh. Yes-huh, CJ. I’m gonna miss you. Nuh-uh. ‘Cause you’re not leaving ever! Mom said so! As a secret! Wait. We’re not leaving? Mom, what is CJ talking about? Okay. Well, here goes. Ronnie Anne, Bobby… I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. I hate that you guys have to be alone so much, and we have this great family here. So, when I found out that I could get a job at the city hospital, I thought maybe we could move here? What do you guys think? But, but… where would we even stay? You can live with us! We have plenty of room! That sounds awesome! Maybe I could work at the bodega! You can take over the bodega. I mean, after I retire. And after I retire. Until then, you work for me. This calls for a celebration. A moving in party! I will make a feast and a giant cake! [loud chattering] You’re WHAT?! Believe me. It’s not my idea. Well, did you tell your family you don’t want to? They’re not gonna listen to me. It’s ten against one. I’ve been there before. Well, don’t worry. You’ve called the right person. I know. Put Lori on. Hey, Ronnie Anne. What’s up? YOU’RE WHAT?! I don’t know what Bobby’s thinking, but I am gonna tell him what he should be thinking! I still don’t get why I have to come along. BECAUSE RONNIE ANNE’S YOUR GIRLFRIEND! She is not my girlfriend! Lincoln, we are literally crossing a bridge. Do you really want to get into an argument WITH ME RIGHT NOW?! [honking] [honking] [ringing] Oh, I wonder who that could be. I’ll just let them in. [knocking] Did you guys know there’s a vicious gang of cats trying to get in here? [whimpering] 5,000. Oh. How embarrassing. I didn’t see you guys walk in. Anyway, this is Lori, Bobby’s girlfriend. And this is Lincoln. Your boyfriend! – No, I’m not! – No, he’s not! This is my mom’s brother, Carlos, his wife, Frida, their kids Carlota, CJ, Carl, and Carlitos, and my grandma and grandpa. Anyway, Lori, you must really miss Bobby. He’s in the bodega. Let’s go. Lincoln, after such a long drive, you must be famished. I could eat. Bobby, look! It’s your beautiful, devoted girlfriend. She came all this way to see you. Wow, babe, this is the best day ever. First, I get a sticker gun, and now you’re here? Bobby, what is all this about you moving away!? I know it may seem like a shock, but don’t worry. I have everything figured out. My grandpa said I could work in the bodega with him, and this place is really rad. Let me show you around. You’re gonna love where I put the milk. What do you mean you didn’t convince him? He talked about the bodega for 40 minutes until the beef jerky guy showed up and at that point, I had literally reached my limit. [sighing] We need to do something to get Bobby’s attention. Ooh! Now you’re gonna get all the boys’ attention. [gasping] I know! What is with this family and the arm pulling? [groaning] I think I ate too much. Hey, Lincoln, wanna play Pirates? Aw, I’d love to play Pirates, CJ, but I have a stomachache. I can take care of that. What are you- Oh. Let’s do this! Hey, Lynn. ‘Sup, Bobby? Digging the new look. Ha, these are not for fashion. They’re my pee pants. This way, I don’t have to miss any of the meal or the football game by running to the bathroom like a chump. Test run! Is she gonna pee her pants? Noice! Dry as a bone. So much for my chicken stock. How’s the turkey coming, Dad? Ha, turkeys are for amateurs, Lori-Lou. I’m making a turgooseon. A pigeon stuffed inside a goose stuffed inside a turkey. Three times the bird three times the deliciousness. – Ooh. – [squawking] Triple homicide. Ooh, mashed potatoes. Scram! Nice try, sister, but as officers of the Feast Force, it’s our job to protect this food till tomorrow. – I was just- – We said scram! Where were you two when Lynn took my chicken stock? [growling] Babe, we got a lot cooking on our end too. Oh, show me. Oh, I wish you could smell Abuela’s famous tamales. – Ow! – No, Roberto, there are only enough tamales for dinner. [trumpeting] Abuela doesn’t need guards. She’s her own one-woman Feast Force. [laughing] Here’s your pass-out pillow, Lincoln. Oh, every year, Lincoln eats so much turkey, he falls asleep at the table and misses dessert. But not this year. I’ve got a plan. If I start to feel sleepy, I’ll just dip my head in this bucket of ice water, like so. [screaming] Need a new plan! Carlos, put the book down. I need to see your eyes. [groaning] Tia Frida paints a family portrait every year, and this year’s theme is Emotionally Raw Vegetables. – Huh? – How’s the fit? – Uh, a little tight. – I can make some alterations. Ooh, is someone playing guitar? That’s Abuelo. He serenades the family every year at Thanksgiving. Let me just tune my guitar. Sergio, give me a G. [squawking] G. The Mercado does a canned food drive every year. I call it Yes, we can. Very clever, CJ. And now that I’m joining him, we’re gonna double last year’s donations. CJ, look, it’s Mr. Park. He hasn’t donated yet. Get him! Wait, come back, GravyBot! GRAVY? Excuse you? Gaaah! Apologies, first born sibling! Just doing a test run with GravyBot. The robot I built to ensure equal gravy distribution. I’ll send in Clean-Up-Bot. No! No! More! Bots! I got it. Your Thanksgiving looks awesome, babe. So does yours. [sighing] I just wish we could spend it together. Me too. This ought to keep me awake till dessert. Wait, why can’t we be together? What if I came to the city to spend Thanksgiving with your fam? [gasping] Or I could come to Royal Woods to be with your family. – What?! – Hmm, both sound great. You decide. Aw, babe, I can’t do decisions. You know how I get in restaurants when they ask, ‘Booth or table?’ [clanking] Uh-oh, I’ll call you back tonight. I think something fell in the bleach-cat food-guitar strings aisle. They’re thinking of doing what?! No one in our family has ever missed a Thanksgiving. But we’re all finally together. What if Bobby likes it so much at the Loud’s, that he wants to spend Christmas there too?! First, it’s Thanksgiving, next thing you know, we lose her for every holiday. Guys, we still have time. They haven’t decided where to go. Maybe if we can show Bobby how much he’d be missed- He won’t wanna leave. Maybe if we can convince Lori that leaving would be a grave mistake. Let’s do this! [knocking] Hmm. Meet in the kitchen? You got our note. Still hungry? [clanking] Ooh. Go ahead, have a little taste. We won’t say anything. Wait a minute. Is this a trap? This seems like a trap. No way. We would never trap our favorite sister. Oldest and most important. Yeah, I literally am. Lori, there you are! Come here for a sec. I was just doing the costume fittings for our turkey-pardoning skit. Quick, bring judge Lori her robe. Here you go, your honor. And here’s our new turkey. Aren’t you excited, Lily? We’ve all been pardoned by Lori, and now it’s your turn. [gobbling] Awwww. Can you dudes imagine a Thanksgiving skit without our rad judge? I sure can’t. Me neither. She’s our NVP. Why are you guys acting so weird? Us? Weird? Whaaaat? Oh, Lori! I was just hanging all the hand turkeys you kids have made over the years, and I came across the one that started it all. Aww, my kindergarten turkey. Look at that. All eleven of my turkeys up there, together. One big, happy family. The way it’s always been, and hopefully always will be. Mom, you’re hurting my hand. [sniffing] Roberto, I didn’t know you were home! Do I smell…? [sniffing] My buñuelos? Why, yes. They’re my all-time favorite! They are? Huh, I didn’t remember. Please, have one. Wait, didn’t you tell me before I wasn’t allowed to taste anything? Nonsense. I never said that. It’s been five long years since I’ve had the chance to cook a Thanksgiving meal for you. [sobbing] You can have whatever you want. Here, have some more. You made pozole too?! Another one of my faves. Shh, shh, keep eating. Hey, Bobby, come join us. We were just making our traditional paper chain of all the things we’re thankful for. I already wrote mine. I’m so glad the Santiagos are back with us this year, all three of them. See, big brother? Everyone’s so happy that we’re together again. And hopefully will be forever. Guys, you’re hurting my arms. Hey, Lori, I’m workshopping this year’s Thanksgiving poem, can I get your opinion? I call it, Ode to an Empty Chair. Ahem. Appetizers have been vanquished. The meal has come to pass. Dessert is on the horizon, yet this space remains so vast. Where once sat a warm body. Now there is only cold wood. [knocking] All that remains is a lock of blonde hair, a reminder of what was once good. Gah! Lucy! So, what do you think? [growling] Okay, that’s it. I just heard the most horrible thing! Saul from Saul’s Sandwich Shop heard from Street Meat Malik that Vito Filliponio’s son is spending Thanksgiving… at his friend’s house! [gasping] Can you imagine the pain he’s causing his family? What a sin. Okay, that’s it! Family meeting! I literally know you guys are up to something. Out with it! And be honest with me. [growling] Fine. We know that you might go to the Casagrande’s for Thanksgiving. [gasping] You’ve been eavesdropping on me?! – Lincoln did it! – Dad! What? She forced it out of me, son. Look, honey, Thanksgiving means so much to our family. Thanksgiving means so much to our family. The thought of our first-born not spending it with us, I don’t want to get too emotional, but- [crying] Please don’t go! Aw. You were gone for so many years, and now that you’re back with us- I’m an old man, Bobby… [coughing] I don’t know how much time we have left together. Uh. Boo-Boo Bear, I have something to tell you. I have something to, uh, tell you too. You first. I can’t leave my family for Thanksgiving. Ah, babe, what are we gonna do? What if, just for this one year, we all have Thanksgiving together? That’s a great idea! Our families haven’t met. It’ll be perfect. Just one problem: How are we gonna decide whose family should- We’ll host! Seriously? You guys are eavesdropping again? Ahh! It would be an honor for us to host your family here in the city. No, we insist. You should come to Royal Woods. [clamoring] Guys, guys, let’s just flip a coin, and winner gets to host! Bobby, you call it. Heads! No, wait, uh, tails! Uh, uh, heads! Yep, definitely heads. It’s tails. [cheering] Of course this one would call heads. We’re not out of the woods yet. What about next year? And the year after that? We need to show Bobby and Lori that this is where they want to spend all future Thanksgivings. [gasping] Your father’s right. We need to throw the greatest holiday ever! Well, that’s it. [sobbing] It’s over! Nonsense. The Louds may have won the battle, but we will win the war. We just need to bring our Thanksgiving to them. If we show Bobby and Lori that we do Thanksgiving better than the Louds, they’ll want to spend it with us next year. And every year after that. Yeah! Watch out, Louds, ’cause- It’s on! Oh! Whoops, didn’t realize you were back. Oh, so where was I? Ah, right. Turkey Day was here and the Louds were getting ready for a showdown with the Casa Gs. Chop, chop with those streamers, girls, we really have to dazzle Lori and Bobby with these decorations. Leni, weren’t you going to put a leaf in the table? I did, hello. Uh, honey, why don’t you go help your father in the kitchen. Lincoln, I need you to polish these spoons. – Ow! – What are you doing? Ow! Trying to see if pulling my eyebrows will keep me awake for dessert. Spoons. Lola, you were supposed to choose a photo of Bobby and Lori, not you. What are you talking about? They’re right there. Try again. [honking] [gasping] It’s the Casagrandes! Hi, I’m CJ. Do you have any cans? [chuckles] Also, happy Thanksgiving. Welcome. – Boo-Boo Bear! – Hey, babe. – Punk. – Loser. Now, I know you said not to bring anything but I didn’t want to be rude and show up empty handed. Oh, please, I think we can make room for one little dish. ALRIGHT, BACK IT UP, BOYS! [beeping] Don’t worry, honey, there’s no way they’re going to upstage your meal. Hi, this is a pig on a spit. Where would you like it? Kitchen. Wow, look at this place. It’s so festive, Mrs. L. [chuckles] Well, Bobby, we Louds go all out for Thanksgiving. These store bought decorations are nice, Rita. Though as a professional artist, I prefer the handmade touch. Aww. You made Bobby and me two peas in a pod. That’s so sweet. And the room feels more personal. So much better. Literally, love. Well played, Casagrandes, but don’t count the Louds out just yet. If everyone would please find a seat for our annual Thanksgiving skit. – They have a skit? – Huh? [gasping] We’re on it. Dah- no, Bobby. We saved you a seat right here in the front row. Excuse me. Perdoname. [slurping] [beeping] Welcome. What you’re about to see is a case of the bird’s so cute you can gobble her up. All rise for the Honorable Lori Loud. And now let’s meet the defendant, Turkey Lily. [gobbling] Aw, she’s adorable. Officially commence the People vs. Lily Loud. [gavel knocking] [gavel knocking] Your verdict? We the jury find the defendant guilty. No, this is an outrage. Guilty of being the cutest turkey ever. [giggling] Ah, what a relief. Babe, your performance was amazing. Hey, let’s talk about finding a role for you next year. Eh, I say, uh, how does juror number seven sound? [gasping] Dang it. They’ve sucked in Bobby with his weakness for theater. Well played, Louds, but never underestimate the Casagrandes. What’s this? Our annual turkey dance, of course. Follow our lead. Uno, dos, tres. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-hi. [music playing] [everyone] Gobble. Gobble. Gobble. Ha-ha-ha-hi-yi-yi. [everyone] Gobble. Gobble. Gobble. Boy, we’ve got nothing to worry about. Yeah, this is terrible. This is great. [everyone] Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble. Don’t worry, dinner is the decisive battle. That’s where we’re going to, Lynn-cinerate them. Dinner! There they are! [trumpeting] Lori, Bobby, we saved you a spot. No, we saved you a spot. Um, how about we sit in the middle? Here, try my turkey skin-infused stuffing. You’re gonna love it. But first, try my tamales. I added an extra kick. [chuckles] An extra kick, that’s cute. They don’t want heat, they want sweet. Here, kids, taste my marshmallow covered potatoes. Feh, how do you know what they want? They’re clearly craving my homemade shredded turkey mole. [groaning] [clanking] I’d like to make a toast. Bobby, Lori, I just want to say how much it means to have you here with us. [sniffling] I don’t know if I can get through this. Oh, Mom. Uh, excuse me, if I might. I’m sure it means a lot to you, Rita, but with all respect, it means more to us. Well, Hector, that seems really unlikely because nothing means more to us. ‘kay? Oh, really? Yeah. – Is that so? – Yeah, that’s right. Forget the toast. I can say it so much better with music! ♪ We love Bobby and Lori More than anyone in the world ♪ ♪ FAMILY! ♪ Oopsie. How dare you?! Control your children! It is not safe to have Thanksgiving in this house! Well, if you don’t like it, you’re welcome to leave! Not you, Bobby, you can stay. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To steal our precious Roberto away from us! Oh, oh, oh, like you haven’t been trying to steal Lori from us, well, guess what, bucko, it’s not gonna happen! Guys, guys, please stop! [everyone] STAY OUT OF THIS!! Why would anybody want to spend Thanksgiving here gnawing on your ‘dry bird’?! The turgooseon is delicious. Maybe the problem is your lumpy gravy! Did someone say gravy? [screaming] No, they don’t deserve it. Aaaaaaah, system malfunction! Malfunction! Reeeeeee! [gasping] My painting! [laughing] [arguing] [arguing] [whistling] That’s enough! I know a way to settle this. Yeah! Arm wrestle! Let’s go! No, let’s just ask Lori and Bobby where they would rather spend Thanksgiving. Huh, where’d they go?

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