Matteo Lane asks about pop divas | Handsome

Comedian Matteo Lane asks Handsome to choose their favorite… pop divas! Plus motorboating, a dress for three, Canadian Caesars, and *~song~*!

Handsome is hosted by Tig Notaro, Mae Martin, and Fortune Feimster
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some people just know the best rate for you is a rate based on you with all state when I drive I don’t use my phone I don’t speed and I pay attention to the road and you know what I should be rewarded for that the more safely you drive the less you’ll pay who doesn’t want to pay a rate based on your own safe driving you’re in good hands with all state not available in Alaska or California subject to terms and conditions rates vary by state in some states participation in Drive wise allows all state to use your driving data for rating and your rate could increase with high-risk [Music] drivings on the [Music] hands cheers oh yeah welcome to the handsom Pod it’s fortune fster and it’s also May Martin and it’s also Tig Notaro and we’re handsome yes indeed we are if you like checkered pink shirts hoodies and flannels we are the three for you I dressed like I was going to church yeah that’s a beautiful shirt thank you or I’m going to a like a boating event maybe you’re taking a boat to church neither neither thing I’ve done in a long time do you boat at all um I’m not a boater I like boats um but J gets uh seasick classic ja so it keeps me from boats I love a pontoon oh I love a pontoon a pontoon I knew a Pon wait do you know what a pontoon is me is that where you stand you got like a big stick and you’re pushing it like in Venice oh definitely not oh what’s a pontoon is like a big party boat two against one we need to have a handsome party on a pontoon yeah I would love that it’s a big like Slow Boat yeah okay a big Slow Boat well sounds well it’s just like you a bunch of seats you just sit around you float around in the water you blare your music you have your drinks your food it’s not a speedboat you just you’re just like floating around enjoying the day it is nice to be like in the hot sun on the water in and out of the water on a boat with a beer that’s a really nice feeling well yeah and and a pontoon is also covered you know so you’re just it’s it’s it’s real nice the Canadians not have pontoon boats they do in fact Thomas did we we rent no we didn’t rent a pontoon but Thomas and I rented a speedboat in in Toronto once when I was out there filming Star Trek I think yeah I guess you’ve never heard the song I’m The ponon Is that real I swear to God yeah little big town it’s a country song yeah out here on the ocean motorboat oh that R not ocean open all right well we got to wear our pones on the pontoon but we got to put that on the list we got to have it’s when you want to just chill you’re not in a hurry it is snack time it’s snack yeah it is snack time on the pontoon MH I would be so my version of that is like a yeah in Canada you got a little speed Bo your tube in maybe you have like a a SE they call it or Bloody Mary a salad no no trying to salads we’re going boating the lettuce flying in the healthy Canadians I’m going to need everybody to grab a Caesar and let’s get on that boat you got your Caesar make sure it’s got croutons Thomas everyone hydrate grab a water it’s good to have a water and a salad and a little handful of berries and nuts and on we go a Caesar is Bloody Mary but it’s uh it includes you’re not going to believe this clam juice in it that’s what makes it a Caesar and it’s tasty e yeah for’s not a big fan of clams how ironic fortunee guys Fortune I have been I do watch sometimes that reality show below deck and I kind of I have like a fantasy of cuz that’s like a group of hot young people and they’re working as the staff on a luxury yacht and they all are just like fighting and [ __ ] and I I it’s kind of like dirty dancing but on a boat and I I could I’d like to spend a summer that way dir sailing yeah like I can picture myself on a boat sign me up shirtless I’m like climbing the rigging the scaffolding I’m up at the top of the thing you know and I’m all oiled up you would have been good yeah like in your younger days you should have done one of those yacht situations what you mean younger days may still I’m 12 I know but like is May really going to leave their life to go for a summer a yacht May okay well there’s a couple considerations I got to take so yeah if I yeah you know I’m not saying never okay I would pause my life something would have to go pretty seriously wrong in my career and relationship but I’m I think I’d have a good time out in the sun i’ be I’d have some like torid affair with like the kitchen staff you know whoa oh the staff not even one person the entire staff is get it I would be like I’d be like before you get to May and y’all’s tored Affair can I get some of that pasta you served a couple nights ago you mind remaking that for me cuz it look delicious no but we have leftovers and you can nuke them in the microwave I’ll take we’re busy we’re busy in May’s cabin then at some point someone has to say nobody puts baby in the corner well yeah guys it’s the dirty dancing of I know that line didn’t see the movie don’t make me explain this now here is my question did I tell you about when I was um coming out of surgery fully drugged and hallucinating okay this was back in 2019 and uh I was so out of my mind on drugs and I was like really struggling there and Stephanie was next to my bed and I told her that I just want to leave here and go on a boat with you and listen to rock and roll nice oh my God that’s what I kept telling her over and over I just want to be on a boat listening to rock and roll with you she romantic I love she teases me about that to this day and uh rock and roll yeah I also uh I thought John Fogerty was in my hospital room with me who’s John Fogerty CCR CCR Credence Credence Clearwater Revival oh okay yeah yeah yeah okay yeah that’s a little swamp Rock for you okay Credence Clearwater Revival that’s the perfect music when you’re on a on a pontoon okay really pontoon yeah or the song Pontoon out here on the open motorboat Fortune Fortune shout out little big to I I have a question but it’s a little un PG but motorboating give it to me so motor boating is like that thing you could do with but does anyone do that with you mean put your head in someone’s breast and go Fortune Marie Fortune Marie I’m going to say I a fan no way oh my God that’s best Fortune’s like that’s why I got into the sport Fortune’s like that’s a gold medal in motorb oh my God your main and does Jack mind that everyone now knows that you motorboat Jack I didn’t say I didn’t say she liked it but it goes on you’re that does go on behind closed doors and just lesbian Hut a lot of things happen in in this lesbian Hut you’ve never done that may you’ve never experienced motorboating no no I haven’t nobody could motorboat me or me well you have to it does have to involve someone with tig old bitties mm tig old bitties which is where tig’s name comes from that is my god-given name tig old bitties my it was my grandmother’s name my mother’s name andine middle name old bitties how do we get on to pontoons and boats um cuz I I’m dressed like I’m going on a nice boat and summer is coming it’s around the corner yeah yeah I’m looking forward to it spring is in the air I’m uh I’m not a big fan of mosquitoes I’m I’m not happy about that does anyone like them yeah that’s a good I bet someone’s got a mosquito fetish like oh yeah let them suck my blood um my friend and she brought her boyfriend who we’d never met I don’t think they’d mind me telling this story we were all like in a park and I guess there were mosquito was around but we didn’t really I don’t know they weren’t really bothering anyone except they seemed to be really eating him and it was the first time I’d met him and I just I overhear him whisper to my friend help me like what’s going on he’s like help me she’s like how do you want me to help you he’s like they’re eating me alive it’s just so funny a boyfriend whispering to his girlfriend help me do you know what is my favorite thing so far of this episode May is if you slightly move your head head down a little there up a little up stop cat ear oh in the corner there right the frame of my uh yeah looks like you have one little kitty ear go to our YouTube page to see May’s Kitty ear I feel like every episode you’re going to really crowbar in some visual thing that people have to go to YouTube my favorite things you’re going to want to see the shirt I’m wearing I look like a pretty little yacht lady pretty motorer yeah motorer I do so Jax gets she gets really um car sick though or sorry boat sick when you m the one going I’m again going to pre this prefis with she’s not into it does it make her laugh it’s a very silly feeling I imagine she thinks I’m insane most of the time with most things now for does your mother listen to this does does your mother listen to this podcast and does she know that her precious daughter motorboats her wife um I think my mom does in fact listen to the handsome pod um actually I know for a fact she does okay she’s going to submit a question for us by the way right but what does she think about her precious daughter motor voting her wife she probably like Jack thinks I’m ridiculous I if I was a parent listening i’ you know i’ think you know what good for them they’re they’re all having fun out there I think some of our listeners should try it oh I’m obviously going to try it tonight yeah just try it and here’s the thing you you will both laugh oh wait a minute it’s not sexy wait a minute Thomas can you put this on the list May motorboating Fortune I don’t have anything it’s that be fun for me you have boobs I have mobs we truly don’t have them well if you’re up for it I’m up for it have you ever heard that have you ever heard that song do your ears hang low do you do they wobble to and can you in night you in and I say boobs hang just even talking about being on a boat on the water is putting me in a very summery Vibe I can smell the diesel fuel you guys know at some point this summer later in the summer we’re all going to be in Toronto at the same time that’s crazy I want to take you to the Toronto islands where you and you take a ferry over across Lake onario it’s a definitely a big boat I know that I’m like um immature and I don’t I lack a lot of life skills but I think of the three of us I feel confident saying that in a canoe I’m going to be the most proficient and I confident I could cane caner but I think you’re much stronger than I am you could be in uh I’ll take the stern you I’m going to lay down while you two paddle how about that you’re getting motorboated so that’s what you’re doing let’s do a poll who wants to see May motorboat Fortune I can already feel J’s going what did you talk about today oh my God what is wrong with [Laughter] you some people just know the best rate for you is a rate based on you with all state it is wild how often I see someone texting on their phone or even I’m seriously I’ve seen them watching videos while they’re driving your insurance rate should be lower than that of unsafe drivers the more safely you drive the less you’ll pay who doesn’t want to rate based on your own safe driving you’re in good hands with all state not available in Alaska or California subject to terms and conditions rates vary by state in some states participation in DriveWise allows all state to use your driving data for rating and your rate could increase with high-risk driving ready to win Mother’s Day and submit your reputation as The Best Gift Giver in the family give the moms in your life an aura digital picture frame preloaded with Decades of family photos she’ll love looking back on your childhood memories and seeing what you’re up to today even better with unlimited storage and an easy to ous app you can keep updating mom’s frame with new photos so it’s the gift that keeps on giving my mom has an aura frame she loves it this Mother’s Day I am going to be loading up her frame with a bunch of new pictures that she is going to be so excited when she’s sitting there and they pop up uh it just brings back so many great memories right now Aura has a great deal for Mother’s Day listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting orres decom to get $30 off plus free shipping on their bestselling frame that’s a frames.com use handsome at checkout to save terms and conditions apply we do need to uh get our band we’ve already talked about this get our handsome band together yes me Fortune May Thomas learn three songs and we could play on the boat in Toronto that’s oh my God I’m imagining it like when when the Beatles did that concert on the roof like people start to gather like they hear the sound coming over the water and then like thousands of people gather they’re like something sounds very handsome yeah and we’re like guys it’s us it’s us yeah it’s us and eating those clam juices what the [ __ ] are we eating Fortune sorry we’re drink what’s this clam juice we’re drinking we’re drinking a Caesar which is a Bloody Mary with clam juice how about you drink a Caesar I’ll eat a Caesar salad TIG what are you going to eat um on the boat some seaweed some kelp yeah maybe maybe I’ll scoop up some seaweed you’re right yeah dry in the sun no I like you know chips and salsa and guacamole and uh a beer or a hoppy water um something something refreshing you know I’ve never acquired a taste for beer I didn’t know that I I don’t really love the taste of it but I I’ve drank a lot of it in my teens and stuff like Canadian beer some of it’s like water there’s one called a 50 that’s so rancid and cheap well I do like pairing alcohol with food I’m not a a sit around and just drink for the sake of drinking mhm my dad was a a food and wine writer like through my childhood so he would like review wines and and pair food and wine and stuff that was his that was his jam oh that’s a neat job I like going out to eat with Stephanie and she’ll have a glass of red wine or something and I’ll just take little baby sips of it through the night you know like or dinner I’ll kind of share her wine with her but I don’t even drink a fourth of it just like a taste of it on my on my lips and she doesn’t care yeah she doesn’t mind that some people hate it they’re like just order your own God no because I’m really not drinking anything I’m I’m I’m it’s like just on my lips barely you’re just getting the flavor profile yeah I like an oldfashioned that’s my drink of choice we know girl or red wine if it’s a hot summer day I don’t mind a margarita I love a skinny Margarita I’ll probably drink a margarita I can’t wait for this boat trip we’re going to get so sunburned oh I’m going to have to wear a a tankini well the Pontoon is going to have the cover oh of course I forgot yeah yeah okay if they have pontoons in Canada we’re not sure I think they do I we we’ll find a pontoon Thomas will you Google if there’s pontoon in Canada when Thomas was my assistant I Thomas is the best and he is like you can have him in any situation he’s game for whatever’s going on I think we were in Austin when he was my assistant he had come with me on tour and after the night was done and my show was over and I was back at my hotel he just went out and went I think line dancing or two- stepping with people he was just by himself out having drinks and and uh country western dancing alone hilarious that’s so funny to imagine I would love to see Thomas line dancing have you ever like hung hung out with people that you meet at show like I did it my first show in San Francisco last year and and afterwards someone was like do you want to do come to our lesbian dodgeball game and I was like yeah and so then I went and played dodgeball with them the next day wow oh that’s fun it was crazy it was so aggressive you had a good time though I had a great time although I felt like a lot of people want wanted to wanted to hit me with those balls like I felt like there was like oh you think you’re you think you’re just GNA play dodgeball do you like it’s really uh they whip those balls yeah yeah they get hardcore about it and the the sporty ones in our community really get intense um the sporty ones you know uh I or not you know when I was in Chicago a while ago I went to a bar and there was a whole lesbian dodgeball team having a drink they were you know um talking about the game dissecting everything deconstructing well Sandra you really blocked a couple good ones and even in the even if even in talking to a a gay dodgeball team the intensity is still there they’re like hey we noticed you uh from across the room we’re a lesbian dodgeball team and uh just wanted to say hi [Laughter] H my name is Terry I’m the captain I also am in charge of accounting for the group they’re super organized yeah they got a spreadsheet and they all have um like pun names for their lesbian dodgeball it’s always like oh what was theirs for their pun tune yeah theirs was like s had sassy in the name I forgot it though I I think and they all start dating each other I think it all gets a little bit well yeah why play dodgeball in a gay league if you’re not going to try to slide into home base if you know what I mean are there straight leagues dodgeball yeah it’s straight people uh it’s a mixed group I would say the mix is gay women and women that don’t know they’re gay yet is the mix it’s it’s funny how you can have a gay dodgeball league but if you say we’re the straight dodgeball League then you’re very big at it scary yeah there’s a lot of drinking involved in these leagues too before the game yeah some of uh some of the straight leagues they’re all drinking before and after the game yeah oh my gosh and next time you see my lovely wife Stephanie ask her if you can see her impression of a softball pitcher from women’s women’s softball pitcher it is well she cuz Stephanie played basketball a lot she yeah sometimes she the side of her comes out right like she came to do a a show it was like right before the show and she she’d been at basketball or something she was like yeah I almost got in a fist fight at the basketball we’re like What yeah she’s aggressive super comp that’s so funny yeah she seems kind of she seems pretty chill but then the uh the competitiveness comes out of her yeah I remember when we were first together and I would go to her basketball Gam and she was like rled up and I was like whoa I had not seen and that’s why it’s good to to date somebody for a chunk of time before you actually get married um because these different situations bring out parts of somebody where you couldn’t have even imagined I did not at all imagine that I thought Stephanie would be like ah well that was fun come on let’s go have an ice cream cone but she’s like up in someone’s Grill being like [ __ ] get out of my way she is a basketball player I that’s fun I used to be in a soccer league you did mhm is this in your Craigslist days when you first memory man oh my gosh really you joined a team on Craigslist yeah back when I first came out and I was trying to find friends I joined a soccer league a softball league and a Tennis League oh my God that’s a lot I need to find lesbians where are the sports oh and I join an African drumming League cast you told us about that yeah this is like an exhausting schedule how did you have time for all these things well my career my career was non-existent at the time so that wasn’t keeping me busy I had a lot of time on my hands um those were fun those were my 20s I was just like playing in tournaments all the time are you a good soccer player I’m a good SOC soccer player and a the best sport I’m of mine is tennis I played in college and what what’s your feeling on pickle ball pickleball I’ve only done once I thought it was okay I didn’t fall in love with it like everybody is I’m going to my first uh Lakers game soon oh that’ll be fun yeah I’ve never been to like a professional basketball game like where you sit by the like somebody gave par of tickets and you get to sit right by the court and everything in my mind I’m going to be sitting next to dairo and you might be JayZ I played soccer as a kid and you know I I do tread water that is that is your thing that is true and I do take a walk yeah so yeah nice long walk yeah but I used to cycle 100 miles a day 50 to 100 miles a day whoa really whoa yeah where iy well I would cycle I remember I performed in uh Portland Oregon and I flew out there with my bike and then cycled to Seattle or I started in Seattle and went to Portland I can’t remember what direction why does that matter czy and then I did a show in Seattle and then I also cycled from Montreal to Portland Maine oh my God and I also cycled through France but th those days are over I can’t do that anymore but um that’s that was does your butt hurt uh my back my you know I’m real Frankenstein body but I um plus you got busted for the uh steroid the I just think cycling seems so dangerous now well are you cycling like along highways like how are you doing those on like highways and um through small towns in in France um me and my friend cycled from small town to small town and we would uh stop and have like a really fun you know rest yeah like a little uh meal at a cute little cafe and then we would treat ourselves at the end of the night at like a a chateau like and the bed would or the bath would be claw foot and just so so beautiful um that’s cool yeah it was um it was a real passion of mine in my 20s and early 30s I did not know that about you if you get back into it can you get two little side cars for me and Fortune and uh how you going to say for Max and Finn oh Max and fin side cars is PR yeah I guess I guess Max so yeah the like I couldn’t do it my butt would hurt too bad mhm well I enjoyed it but I wasn’t competitive I did uh a longdistance cycling ride that was raising money for AIDS and um I came in dead last oh right finished yeah and that the other people were like even though it’s not a race they were still racing and I’m like I don’t I don’t you can have the the win I just enjoying this people are doing these marathons and stuff and they’re like their nipples are bleeding and they’re like fainting no motorb no they’re peeing their pants and stuff like I unrelated I don’t get yeah I don’t get the appeal yeah nothing but than a marathoner who just has to poop their pants because they don’t want to mess up their time that’s so crazy to me but then you then you’ll hear about someone who like keep going Janice then you’ll hear about someone who was like didn’t train at all and like completed it and came in fourth and you’re like you know what I mean people’s bodies yeah I remember years ago my friend um didn’t have time to train and she uh signed up for a marathon I mean she was a runner she I think ran pretty much daily but she said she just watched that um Demi Moore movie GI Jane and like drank a beer and then just ran that’s sick that’s some people are just built different yeah that’s cool um good segue but our questioner is somebody who is unbelievably fit and chiseled and whose physique I covet so today’s questioner is a standup comedian actor and singer who’s been named one of variety’s top 10 comics to watch he hosts the podcast I never liked you and you can watch his latest special on his YouTube channel at Mato Lane comedy uh our questioner is Matteo Lane and I have to just say about him real quick he is blowing up right now in the uh comedy World such a funny hilarious standup so talented a crazy good artist he sings opera he speaks fluent Italian fluent Spanish yeah he gorgeous he’s he does like cartoon animation like he’s just multi-talented and a super nice guy like a real renaissance man that you just don’t see in modern day times um and I know that this like he’s finally getting his du he’s selling out shows everywhere but this is truly just the beginning he is going to be a big big star uh thank thanks to the handsome pod that’s right yeah um you us just a beautiful soul so let’s hear what matte Lane is asking us hello handsome P I have a question for Ys I want to know uh who is your favorite pop diva M O pop diva this is hard for me I don’t know if it’s hard for y’all but I love a pop pop diva I know this about you Fortune I know you love a pop diva I know you love your Seline I I like maybe because I was uncomfortable about my femininity I like actively rebelled against like I would listen to like just like dudes and Bros bros and and I don’t know it’s only recently I’m getting into well I loved B Midler always but is that a pop diva yeah she was pop yeah she would have been a pop diva really popular pop for popular definitely a diva popular Diva definitely popular okay yeah who were who were you torn between Fortune God how long do we have well about well we typically do an hour episode I have a very huge soft spot in my heart for powerful female singers because inside of this masculine body with these large muscles boobs that you see before you inside of this handsome bu is a pretty little lady of course I see her and this pretty little lady every time loves a singer mhm and you have a beautiful voice so you probably appreciate like the craft like the and you have a little pink shirt on it’s all adding up in modern day times my favorite pop singer would be Kelly Clarkson really um sorry I shouldn’t have acted so shocked I mean well I’ll tell you why the running joke right now it’s we all know Kelly has a very popular daytime show called The Kelly Clarkson show right yes so one of the things Kelly does is she sings what is called kellyoke which is Kelly’s version of karaoke I already figured it out thanks we were one step ahead of you there yeah so Kelly takes all these songs that are popular right now she sings them and everybody the running joke online is like sorry to whoever was the original singer of that song she just like freaking destroyed and oh like she’s so great at it she sings everybody’s song like five times better than they sing it oh cool I like that even Bob Dylan um probably I mean the uh Trevor Noah made a funny joke on the gramys that says if whoever loses is going to be forced to have Kelly Clarkson cover your song she’s so good um she just has a voice that’s insane it she can hit these notes she’s like P Perfect Pitch A lot of times she and her voice is full of soul I mean just freaking get you want any song you love just be like can you cover that song you want her to sing it I I wasn’t expecting I don’t think Kelly Clarkson I think like pop diva uh I guess like I I imagine like kind of crazy attitude and she’s so no but which is great about her in a way she’s like so down home yeah I think I think a she’s that well see it’s hard in modern day times for anyone to be a true Diva because then everyone’s like you’re a turd stop acting like that you know what I mean but we accept it from our older pop Divas like Mar Carey if she’s three hours late you’re like have you heard her sing that high note for these days we got who so let yeah who are who are that we’re working with I just have to interject here I don’t know if I’ve told you this but Kelly Clarkson’s basist Anar Peterson oh yeah we had uh years ago in our Texas days as teens a little romantic connection oh my God yeah so are we talking hand jobs what are we talking here Fortune motor boating wait a is Anar uh what gender is Anar Anar is a man I’ll I’ll pull him up he he’s a a friend great guy um he’s oh there he is this is great gossip Kelly Clarkson’s bases call get TMZ on the line you motorboated him this is Anar rocking out oh an cutie we are looking at what I can only describe as a a strong and seny bald completely bald man uh rocking a base nice tight muscles TI shirt yeah he’s a mouth a gape mhm think about TIG right now oh yeah yeah it when we see each other these days we are there’s no stop in the the hand here he is again there’s no sto in the motorb cute he’s great mustache oh he’s he he’s got a very handsome face yeah cool he’s a cute great guy and and he’s in her band The touring band The touring band nice yeah not on the television show but I went and saw them live and uh he saw me on TV like 20 years ago was and wrote me on like Myspace or something I was like he’s like hey and I was like oh my God total blast from the past and then we’ve stayed in touch and he and his son came over um a few months ago and hung out and just a nice guy so talented I went and saw but the point is I went and saw him playing with Kelly yeah mind blown this guy is such a per look Kelly’s incredible we all know but you were you were watching your old Anar like he is such an incredible performer and I think he just was recently touring with Duran Duran as well and you know he he makes his rounds with the the rock and rollers but he is so fun to watch on stage he’s such a talent that’s cool see but you’ve so TIG you’ve seen uh Katy Perry mhm uh did you just whisper wieners Fortune mhm you’ve seen wieners Fortune Marie Fortune you’ve seen them all you you so I’ll I’ve seen Kelly Clarkson I’ve seen SE okay how about I’ll say I’ll give you two and then you pick one and then the winner I’ll present to tig with another option like we’ll we’ll narrow it down winner of what I there’s so many pop Divas I’m going to list at some point like would you rather oh with dudes would you no okay no it was a bad idea to begin with okay would you rather see in concert Whitney Houston or Barbara strien Whitney um I love them both but Whitney Houston okay uh Whitney Houston or um I’ve seen Babs live oh me too like the corner of my mind did that remind you of that concert yeah it took me right back that was did you close your eyes at any point uh I was sort of watching I was watching tig’s face this is barara not Barbara but Barbara can I tell you that I when I was 18 and I was living in this basement apartment with this girl Laura spanner she was supposed to go with her mom to see Barbara strien with a bunch of her mom’s friends she that’s way to do it yeah and she said well do you want to take my ticket and I didn’t know her mom I didn’t know any of these women and I was like the sketchiest druggiest weirdo and I got so stoned and I showed up at the theater and the mom knew I was coming and my eyes were like bright red and I was like hey I’m uh I came to see Barbara strien with you guys and because I love Barbara strien and uh funny I sat with all these older Jewish women who were all super nice to me really freaked out by me as well I have my like short hair and kind of rre of pot and and you have a lot of acne and braces and all that then I was past acne and braces but no one had told me yet that I should be wearing a bra so I had these really pointy boobs that just were constantly sticking like the nipples sticking out it was really and I wore a cross body bag like with a strap and my two pointy boobs sticking out and no one said to me wear [ __ ] yes but so I’m I’m sitting there and uh and then the lights go off and people are cheering and the big band starts playing kind of a medley and uh I I sort of just had forgotten like how important to me she is and then uh all of a sudden Spotlight in the middle of the stage and Barbara standing at the top of a big staircase in a black dress turtleneck and one sexy leg like emerges from the the long dress and she goes don’t tell me not to and I start balling like I’m just like me don’t tell me not to live just I just lost my [ __ ] mind and oh when she’s saying oh my men when we saw her she ended a song with you bet your ass what do you mean she yelled she just yelled you bet your ass after and uh Stephanie has it on her Instagram somewhere and it’s so funny because OG pop diva she just finishes her song and yells you bet your ass and we were dying and I was just at the SAG Awards and she was presented the SAG Awards where I I lost um but she was uh Jen and um Bradley Cooper were presenting an award to her no way and she there yeah she was there and did oh did you talk to her well no I have nothing to say to her but um she was after the award she was sitting like on a couch behind a Velvet Rope you know kind of like this is my area and you come to me Vibe and I just you know I’m like coming out of the place alongside Oprah and Jen Aniston and you know it’s like where do what do I do here it’s an embarrassment of riches she’s famously um for as amazing as of a singer as she is she famously is um ridden with Stage Fright yeah you bet your ass that’s not very scared she in the zone when she’s in the zone you would like she you know supersedes that obviously I want to if I really land a punchline that’s what I’m going to do you bet your ass I nailed that joke you have to go to Stephanie’s Instagram and look back and see um see this clip it’s it’s so great that’s amazing so so I would say that your PO favorite pop diva May is Barbara it’s I would say it’s it’s B Midler or Barbara but is that what Mato means like does that count or talking like JLo and Ariana Grande all knowing Mato it’s all all of theun powerful singers translating for us here yes now could I go even to like somebody who’s maybe not as like Babs or Whitney even though I love them both um do what like a Linda Rona Lindsay Lohan look love love them too is Linda Rona the you’re no good you’re no good you’re no good baby you’re no good that’s a song we’re going to sing in our handsome band yeah I can sing that one I mean obviously I love Taylor Dane we all know that but you know who I love is glattus night yes glattus KN is where it’s at for me I mean there is no better voice than Gladis Knight I mean Tina Turner oh Tina Turner God see this is an unfair question how dare you Matteo it’s hard to pick one there’s Tina Turner’s unbelievable too what’s your favorite glattus Night song you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me you know when she when she was born uh she was born in Iceland and it had been summer for months yeah summer for months the whole time and then the doctor on the day she was born finally that Endless Summer ended and the sun started going down he said glad it’s night and then the mom said wait a minute let’s call her glad it’s [Laughter] night do you know what else anyway La prove too much for them I can’t be treated this way can GL he’s come to know he said he’s going going back to find we got to do karaoke the three of us I’d rather live in his okay the only karaoke I do is you’ve heard it Donny D’s on the back up drug free so put the crack up no need for yeah I or I’ll do like um that was the Marky Mark song that we Burning Down The House my house you know the Talking Heads you know 365 degrees Burning Down The House my house I’ll do you play drums on that yeah when I was on Steven Co bear the Talking Heads were the other guest and uh they were just a stand in the same room was pretty cool yeah it would be fun if we did karaoke where we choose what songs the other people have to sing you know and we have to do we have to give it our best shot we really like I would give TIG what’s the one that’s like I’m a fire starter Twisted Fire Starter like I’m only cracking myself up I don’t either you know oh Thomas Thomas firear I think it’s three against one why are we doing karaoke why aren’t we doing handsome band yeah you’re right we’re doing handsome band Thomas that’s a real song right the fire starter one Thomas know the Prodigy The Prodigy is it a Canadian thing no Canadians are against us you heard it here you heard it here you heard it right here those Canadians are drawing a line I have a couple of other Divas I have to mention real quick well I could mention so many Divas too I mean but these are all my favorites okay but he said choose one well well I chose one modern day I’m going to choose one o older older pop diva mhm Seline Dion talking about Canadians this is where we come together yeah and we um meet in a beautiful glorious place are you about to go into prayer a new day you love Selen have you ever met her love Seline um no I’ve never met her I have seen her perform in person twice I remember you were disappointed when she started chatting I know o I have a song from Ryan Ral we’re like okay get back to the songs um her voice is magical I think she truly has Perfect Pitch I’ve never heard her sing out of key what does Babs go off the rails um she just has a different it’s a different sound a different pitch how dare you she listens she sling can go high so high and and she um exemplifies that true Diva that like she’s buttoned up and she’s like you feel like she’s unapproachable but she’s but then she’s lovely and wonderful there’s a meme out there somewhere or a video of a girl oh singing to Selen Dion’s car and in in real life Seline just listens to her but it’s making a very Stern looking face but someone edited it to make it look like the window gets rolled up in the girl’s face is that on the beaver Tik Tock channel it’s so good she’s um the greatest pop diva of all time okay so that’s your answer olden days Selene modern days Kelly Clarkson I love that Selene is olden days I know I me I feel like I’m about her age but I guess I might be old days comedian of our time you know like I don’t know who would be the one we all have different times that’s the thing about us yeah Seline is like you know we went to high school together are you picking gladus night take yeah I’m going to go gladus I love I think I’m going to go so much Babs um yeah I’m going to go S I mean I loved going to see Taylor Swift that was great but oh right Taylor Swift that was good of our time now but then there’s also pink and then all these people they’re so good it’s frustrating but I think we look we’re not pretending that we’re like oh I love like the we’re being honest here the three of us about like where our hearts lie and we’re we’re slightly in the past I’m Babs your Seline and your glattus like that’s our true you know we can’t pretend that we’d pick Beyonce even though Beyonce might be the greatest pop te of all time it’s unbelievable beon jeez have you heard her new her country song yes great [ __ ] it’s good we love a strong powerful female singer I’m sure you know I bet Beyonce was like oh okay so Taylor Swift is just going to pop over here into pop music and take over then I’m going to put a cowboy hat and jump right over into the spot that she left empty there you go yes yeah yes oh that’s I say that was a smart move that’s what we should do with the Pod we should uh we should just try different genres we should do like a true crime episode we should do like a a sort ofine Sports talk with us Sports Talk and that’s what the show is called Sports talk with us Sports Talk and then one of about hand jobs am I right am I right you guys no that’s not an existing genre it’s not the hand job genre the hand job there got to be some gals out there talking about hand jobs somewhere no nobody is because they all have mothers and grandmothers who would not approve now let’s hear the answer yeah let’s had to say hey mom so my pick even though everyone thinks it’s Mariah and I love Mariah Carey but it actually would be Barbara strand so my favorite movie growing up was funny girl and I remember I saw Barbara stron at concert so I grew up next to my Aunt Cindy and she loves Barbara strion we love Barbara strion together and I mean how obvious there was a gay kid just sitting with my aunt Cy like more St sand but um she a couple years ago she did a few concerts one in New York one in LA and one in Chicago so I got us tickets I flew to Chicago and there’s me and my aunt the second she walked out on stage we were losing it I mean we were crying so hard the only time I cried harder is when I was watching Coco on a plane and I was flying to London and a British flight attendant came up to me he’s like I’ve now she got a bit of the snipples do you want me to get you something from the back oh my God I think I mean I can’t imagine that it’s not the majority of people at barbar strian concerts that that as soon as she walks out they’re losing their like their brains are coming out of their ears you know it’s like there’s nothing chill or subtle even if you’re not a huge fan here comes Barbara strian you know how was the deal when when I went like because I wasn’t expecting to have that reaction but there’s something about like yeah her presence and everyone else around you freaking out you just lose it mhm it’s kind of like at the handsome live shows it’s very similar to the live handsome shows you’re right right about that little cowboy when the uh the lights go down and the big brass band plays A medley of uh just to build anticipation and then and then a single Spotlight appears and all three of us are in it in one black dress all all three of us in one black dress we’re all sque into one black dress and then it has a long has a long slit up the side and oh my God can someone make this for us I would love to be in a go gaze oh I would love to be in a gown with the two of you would Thomas be in there too definitely Thomas kind of looks like Mato if I’m being honest he also Thomas looks a little bit like your old flame Kelly’s basist you know with the mustache and yeah y that one you used to get real handsy with [Laughter] Fortune um I think it maybe was just like kissing Zone you know above the waist I can’t remember and maybe maybe I should sit him down and ask him if we went Bey on first face how far did we go mister well thanks for the question Matteo Lane I look forward to our uh future friendship because I’ve heard all these wonderful things about you and your talents and yes and you seem gay he is very gay in the best ways you would love mato I have to introduce you guys soon he does great crowd work too he’s very funny with the crowd and then also yeah he makes like pasta from scratch and Cooks like carbonara like he’s he’s an amazing cook yeah what a guy I think we were I wonder if I met him briefly um at the Netflix is a joke thing maybe you did yeah maybe that’s right Matteo I’m doing a show with Matteo May 11th in Los Angeles at the YouTube theater as part of the Netflix is a joke Fest so nice if you liked what you heard today get your tickets what else should people come and see Fortune uh May 18th Massie Hall in Toronto um yeah man I’m doing my last show of my Live Laugh Love Tour and I’ll have some other dates coming soon um go to my website for can I come to the Toronto show please yes I’d love to you can do a spot if you want it’s up to you stop can for real yeah if you want I I truly it has always been like a dream of mine to perform at Massie Hall so that would be kind of CRA D I’m happy to have you it’s up to it’s totally up to you if you want to do a spot or if you want to watch whatever you want oh my God let me closer to time if I planned this really elaborate thing I like I took it and ran with it so I I got the bend I got the black gown we have to get our our our six-legged cwn we have to I think our handsome our handsome listeners would love to see you if you want to pop if we were ever uh asked to host like a a a um award show or we were presenting we would show up in a six-legged uh gown and and I picture us all facing out like we can’t see each other yeah you know we have slits for our legs and um we have to do we should host an award show Thomas put on the list yeah uh T what do you got coming up well it’s just the regular old run-of-the-mill TIG stuff where I’m working out new material locally in Los Angeles and um if you want to see me you better come out to those Los Angeles shows because as it stands now there is no plans for a future tour in my life so that’s all I’m saying oh my God maybe maybe like barbar strian yeah you’re going to do it when you feel like it that’s right if I feel like it a standup Diva this old bag of bones has been on tour for 28 years about so um I’m working out material locally and enjoying that oh and my special on Amazon called hello again check that out my wife Stephanie directed it she did a wonderful job nice what about you may I’m just I’m I think not nothing I mean maybe maybe I’m going to be at Massy Hall with you I don’t know but no I think I’m I’m going to be doing some new material around Toronto and uh so just check out my Instagram because I’m going to be filming all summer and then um yeah just do you know doing your May thing May thing may you better be spending your time Gathering facts oh I’m always doing that yeah what else is there to do except for subscribe oh oops there’s nothing subscribe to the podcast And subscribe to our YouTube channel okay yeah why not why not get over there also raate us and uh give us a a a comment uh we do welcome five star reviews let us know maybe on social media let us know your the funniest clip of a pop diva your like your favorite tag me in your favorite clip of like a pop diva funny moment you bat your ass yeah yeah I’m going to go and watch that one uh all right well until next time keep it handsome