TÉMOIGNAGE de MARYAN (ancien force spéciale et blessé de guerre/ former french SAS and war wounded)

🇫🇷 Maryan, ancien militaire des forces spéciales française au sein du 1er RPIMA à été gravement blessé en mission, il témoigne ici de sa blessure, de son parcours avant et après et de sa vision des forces spéciales.

https://khimaira-st.com/

🇺🇸 Maryan, a former French special forces soldier with the 1st SAS, was seriously wounded on a mission. Here he talks about his injury, his career before and after, and his vision of special forces.

https://khimaira-st.com/

Hello, my name is Maryan, I am 36 years old, I spent 17 years in the army, 15 years in the Special Forces within the 1st SAS in Bayonne. And then I had a career, we will say traditional, Soldier then NCO until 2016 and late 2016 I was seriously wounded on a combat mission. And so after that, I spent 2 years in hospital within one of a military hospital of the armed forces in rehab. So our mission went particularly wrong and I was shot at point blank. So during this phase of combat and let’s say injury, I found myself isolated alone in the open field and so I tried to give myself the first care to see where the bullet entry hole was and possibly the exit hole. I couldn’t see where the entry point was. So there as I was fixed on the ground and I was in pain. On a scale of 10, it’s 100 what. So in terms of pain, I was really grounded, unable to put me sheltered, so I decided to go sideways safety on the flank left to compress. Potentially the entry hole. I can’t seem to find and as I was uncovered near vegetation, I was really very scared that the enemy would come out of that bush and finish me off. So I kept my rifle in the dangerous direction. I put my ballistic plates in the dangerous direction. I’ve got it all on the left side putting it on this inner position safety. And then I basically waited for my comrades to do the job and come get me. So it was a long, long time. It was a few minutes eh, but it’s been endless, so. So I was still ready to face in case someone gets out of this bush to finish me off so I had the rifle half mag but I didn’t have the strenght to make a tactical reload so I was well aware that I was half mag so I had already untagged my holster the last safety to transition and respond. In case because it’s weird, but in this case we have many ideas that do not in mind and I immediately thought of the friends. So then the buddies managed to maneuver, they came for me. To condition myself in the shelter. The medical chain was truly exemplary. A helicopter came to pick us up and after 45 Min 1 H, after being wounded, I was treated in a field hospital field deployed. They managed to steady me, to save my life and in fact, following this injury, I spent 5 days in coma. I had 3 surgeries in less than 24 hours, so 2 in the country where the action happened and one last operation in Bercy and when I woke up, so it was really awful. I had infusions in each arm. I had a gray catheter waiting in the femoral so I thought I really didn’t pass far from staying there with pain as if I had taken a 33 ton iron. So waking up was really long and very painful. Besides, I was intubated, I couldn’t move. I was initially strapped in in the bed before he came to untie me, so it was really painful. The first night was really awful and after morning, on. The surgeon who operated on me came to give me the extent of the damage. Not too much tweezing. And that was kind of the 2nd kiss cool effect where I found myself, I understood that I was alive but basically my operator career was over, that my life was not over but with prognosis, finally, a particularly damaged health because so I was shot at close range laterally so the bullet went through my equipment to fragment my equipment and 2 inlet holes. As big, as small as a chicken egg. just below my heart so I had 2 ribs broken the diaphragm that was damaged, I lost my left kidney and spleen too. Gut was affected, bullet ricocheted against 5th lumbar, crack in 2 and then it came slalom between the sciatic nerve to the formoral earth without touching them and stuck in the hip. So when the doctor announces all these sequel there I really take again a second ladle where I really feel annihilated on my bed and I was really in pain indescribable because actually to save my life they opened the whole wall to me abdominal as low as 28 cm. To be able to suture and clamp, clean the wounds inside. So really, it was painful for weeks and the first few days were infernal. I had a little mouse where I could ask for morphine. And actually there’s a meter and so on they can quantify the degree of suffering and I didn’t know that I learned that afterwards and in fact I had seen that there was this meter running, but I didn’t know that actually everything is set for. Allow one landfill every x hours the body can support but thus of I was constantly asking for morphine so it really was a mess. A hell of a test, When you really have the desire to become an operator You have to have an almost foolproof motivation and have an extremely mighty ideal. Because in fact, selection tests are so hard. The curriculum, when you arrive in Bayonne, is a year of training, including 6 probationary months, where you can get fired anytime or you give up. It was a hecatomb. We started at about 90, we finished at 16. So you really have to look deep down so as not to let go, not to give up and also do the job to not get fired if we make mistakes from procedure during training. So it was really the project of a lifetime. Took me 10 years from when I was a child and when I got started in the army. It took me 2 more years to get into special forces, 3 years more for groups terrorism and hostage rescue. I had finished majoring in Saint-Maixent I said, I had never wondered to do the officer tests and I’ve said, but if I managed to finish first of my promotion, I’m going to compete with the same people. So if I managed, to beat them once. Well, that means it’s becoming possible to pass the test and suddenly I have. Following school in Saint-Maixent, I had programmed myself OK, As soon as you pass Master Sergeant and finish your BSTAT, you do the ODS test to become an officer and therefore so my career plan had really evolved and for me holy Grail was to become officer to be able to be group leader. And then when you’re captain, you’re head of TU so you’ve almost 25 to 30 operators to manage. And there was nothing more beautiful for me, crazier as a job and I was to that for a few years already when before I was wound so. When he tells me the news. Well all that hard work for almost 10 years reduced to nothing all this training hours, of white night, internship, suffering too, somewhere to rise to the top of special units, but also thanks to the synergy effect of your comrades, who you push to always move forward, work to be at the level of others. Because you run into guys all the time who have either intellectual or unusual physics beyond the norm capacities. And you when you’re average, well, maybe more everywhere, but in fact you requires daily work. You constantly have to question yourself and work a crazy thing to just be level with the guy next door. So there it was somewhere the drama of my life what about telling yourself all this work reduced to nothing and to say all my career project, my life project and my passion that drove me deeply, well that’s it, it’s over, we put everything in the garbage So we think about it all quickly we brush how say one like a notebook of places, we said well here I am, I have it as after-effects. We start from very, very far and basically I’ll tell an anecdote and it really unintentionally. I think those 2 nurses saved my life. It’s that after the doctor’s visit, I had 2 intensive care nurses who are came to me and said, "Well, boss, we have to do the toilet because you spent 5 days in a coma. I had a beard of 4 months and mid-length hair, I still had sand everywhere. we made a bet, They says " in fact there are half of the teams who think we’re going to groom you like one elderly person in bed and the other half who think you’ll get up to wash yourself". And actually I didn’t think, I said I get up so then they said OK so they brought me actually a wheelchair, they rocked me sideways. We took our time because obviously as I was in phase, I was awake but with pains immeasurable. So I had infusions in each arm I had bandages. We call it evacuation avaq, I had 2 holes anyway. In the abdomen and below the ribs and so I had devices that helped me to healing and to extract the secretions infections of the body. So they put me in the wheelchair and they brought me to the Sink. And when you start to put water in my hair and in my beard, actually water it flows orange and OK so it’s true that it’s a lag between I’m in operation, I’m injured, I fall asleep on a campaign operating table and woke up in hospital 5 days later. So there’s still a huge lag and ultimately it was this kind of test that they put me to the test and it’s like I made this deal. Well actually I’m OK I’m a I’m not half screwed but I’m ruined. But I’ll actually fight, it’s the first day I wake up and it’s something my 2nd birth and it’s going to take a crazy time I’m sure. But I’m going to go step by step and I’m going to fight and give it my all. In fact, all the hardships I’ve been through, whether in childhood or within the army, internships, other missions before, it’s like all these adversities actually had prepared me for that moment and say, well, you’re going to go get all that you are deep inside you in the. In rehab, in your self journey to get the most out of your abilities. To survive already and after so very quickly, after a few weeks, I had only one goal in mind, I had made about 9 deployments, finally like I had made 9 deployments, afghanistan with the 8th RPIMA and 7 deployments with Bayonne the first SAS, about 250 combat missions and I thought I have to transmit, it’s I don’t know, it was an idea that came to me. I have to go to the instruction, counterterrorism and hostage rescue instructor so that I can transfer my operational experience. To the youngest or to the various internships we have to lead a career for within unit. So this has been my common thread for these 2 years. First: physical reconstruction as much as possible. Because when I left the hospital after 2 months of Bercy, I went out wheelchair And actually. The doctors weren’t sure if I could run normally one day because that I have the bullet that got stuck in the psoas, they couldn’t extract it and actually does it rubs on the muscle so I can run, I can run so it’s still a big win. So I thought, you need to physically recover. Intellectually, we won’t hide it, you have a post-traumatic syndrome so. Follow the therapy you need to remove medication on sooner. And you get back in the saddle to be instructor I went to do competitions for war wounded twice in the U.S. with the assistance cell for the wounded of the army and I was very afraid to ring so I had taken documents, credentials on their device in airports are quite performers and it didn’t ring. So suddenly I take supporting paper, it didn’t ring. Okay, doesn’t ring exactly. In fact, I realized during the care and administrative procedures behind, that associations were extremely present who help the war wounded. And they are there to compensate for the failure of the State somewhere or army. So for example, for me, I think that associations have helped me a lot by almost 40% For the help that I needed to be administratively or in the process, well in the administrative procedures and I told myself that it is it’s not normal. For example, I went for a conversion last year, I did a BTS in finance and trading. The army help with €10,000 In fact, it is full of associations that are paid to pay me €7,000 so that I can pay for my degree. So I said, it’s crazy anyway. I have lost all my skills, I can no longer be military. I know a lot of wounded soldiers They are so hard that they do not reconvert. Me, I really come out of frames, I do a very expensive conversion, a school of private group trading and so. And so suddenly I find myself in this situation and I thought, "That’s not possible." So that’s it, I’ve been reformed since December and so I started this lecture cycle in Nice. I ask myself: How can i help Those associations who helped me and reached out to me And if i’m find today, it’s because they gave me my chance somewhere to make a good conversion. And then to be independant and leave the army. So that’s why I started this cycle of conferences at Nice with colleges, high schools, associations, municipalities, department or companies. And so basically I propose to do conferences between 2 and 3 hours with an exchange free with the audience of transparent questions and answers. And so often these conferences consist of 2 parts. Let’s say my personal and professional journey to get within the special forces and then we develop an I develop a side. What’s the operator spirit, What is their way of thinking, acting, working. Group synergy that we have within the unit, our, our relations for example with hierarchy. So here we switches instead to management. And so I pass it on. I pass on this career path which is how to say, which have good welcome. People ask a lot of questions. Whether personal or on the military, or even a little bit of having some answers or elements of language or my vision on the, for example geopolitics, while still keeping some distance from what’s happening in the world. But so, suddenly, there are, there are expectations, the public, there are expectations of elements of understanding or techniques. How do we work, To maybe use it in their society And so all the funds that will be raised that year. During this week and centralized by IHEDN of Nice for transparency like that, individuals or companies who will employ me will have a 66% discount and all funds will be broken down to different associations in France that help and support on a daily basis. The war wounded, probably at the start of September or in October. Do a week in Paris, in the Paris area, with a target rather of companies or schools courses. Secondary. Yeah, because in the character of special forces operators, it’s people very atypical profiles, who have strong temperaments, ego, very developed. But interestingly, the operators, what I was able to observe during my career is that they have very developed egos to seek for individual performance But within a group, those ego that drive performance. It fades for the collective because we have a group leader and a deputy are basically pack leaders. Dads who have the experience, who have the. Operational experience that have some aura and in fact, who command short reins somewhere their young pups and channeling their energy for good common, for the accomplishment of the mission. So I think there are translations that we can do between, for example, sport high level or an art that we will raise. Well, an art, I don’t know, of music, we, we raise it to an art status, so it’s truly a. How to say, one, an organization of work, one we push. His work to the maximum of what we can give. And so I think we can transpose that in personal or professional life and especially within companies of Maybe respond to issues management, human relations, because having operators with oversized egos, but to get them to adhere to the group mindset, get them on the mission and that we can carry out the mission in best terms. Our former corps chief used to tell us, there are about 500,550 operators in Bayonne, it’s as if he had 550 start-ups in power who were to lead and also short reindeer driver. Because, somewhere all the innovation within the unit. And if we’re here right now, it’s precisely thanks to these operators who make long or short careers and really give it all for the unit and that drives the machine that drives the war machine forward. within the army, in fact, we have representation civil life, civil society, recruitment, we come from all social group, but when we find these life profile characteristics and career or yes, life profiles that are very atypical. This strong ego, but we all come for the same, to serve. And in fact there is still this bond between all of us of still there to serve a top ideal for. We are here to box in top category within the special forces and we have good realizing that ultimately our interventions are guided finally ordered rather by direct line politics and when you intervene somewhere, it’s make an impact. These are very sensitive, very technical missions, so we actually have this in a corner of our head and so. Within the unit, we will say that there are still 2 profiles. There’s going to be the profile. When you’re an operator, in fact, you really turnkey. Depending on your work and your skills, you can change group, you’re in a commando group and you can for example flip at sniper, snipers or go in a group of operational fallers or tumblers counter-terrorism operations or divers. And that has the competence to human qualities and interpersonal skills. those groups are gonna select young operators Do you wanna go with us? So as you have the turnkey, there are 2 people profiles. Guys who are going to be careerists and who will not hesitate to put knives in the back, crush the other even within the company, even within the same group and you have the opposite where basically people who are not at all in that light. And to think, well, I’ll give it my all to increase my abilities and skills and they’re going to pick me up for my skills and by my relational because somehow a good person. I am not a character, unlivable, it counts when I was on a mission. If you have dudes who are unlivable and we can’t give them orders or they’re inoperable or they’re infected in the relationship with their colleagues. Well, it’s it’s it’s harmful to the group, it’s harmful to the mission, it’s harmful to everyone. So you meet these 2 profiles and I I would say there is a lot of competition, with the marine commandos or CPA 10, but for example on all the missions I have done in inter-arm with marine commandos or with people from the CPA 10 or the 13th RDP it’s always great between operators anyway well we’re on the same team so there is this competition actually where his room tremendously. but when you’re on the field we are together Oh no, but it’s a Marine commando, we’re Bayonne, we’re in the same mess somewhere together, so we do the mission together. There may be more wars anyway, bosses, ego, of guarded chiefs and hunting vs Jobs. And like Marine Commandos back they have this type of mission normally the guys from Bayonne tel mission type, and it’s true that units, but even Bayonne sometimes also encroaches this area of expertise of the other. Yeah, but it’s settled at the chef level. As an operator, we are somewhere the same mess, and then we’re brothers in arms but we have good relations even its say, no the group has something to say but it’s actually on the relationship that it will make all the difference. Because an operator you have 2 profiles, you have a war machine and a guy who’s not as good but has a great mindset. War machine is a bad guy. Well the guy who is less good sign neither more nor less likely as a story of time and training and hourly volume which will go to the training where we will pull it at its best so certainly in our in the group I served in they were hires on much more based on certainly the intrinsic performance of the person who has the minimum required but who has we see that he has room for progress and and it has wholesale potential that has not yet been exploited but like the guy it’s a he has a great mindset I don’t know big hyper worker available always what is called the hand on ie always ready to serve you don’t always have to turn off give a hand With the guy sneaking in I worked other people, I don’t care. Indeed, we are recruited like this. Yeah yeah.