Brutally Honest Parent-Teacher Meeting
#comedy #sketchcomedy #teacher

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Dit barn er Emily? Ja. Jeg har ingen idé om hvem det er. Jeg har ingen idé om hvem dit barn er. Jeg kan se navnet her, og jeg kan se at han er i min klasse, men jeg ved ikke hvem du snakker om. Så mange børn nu, nogle af dem er bare ikke mindeværdige. Jeg… kan ikke… lide… dit barn. Hans bror var et pikhoved, han er et pikhoved og jeg tror, jeg ved hvor han har det fra. Det skal du ikke være ked af, jeg har hende kun i et år. Du har hende hele livet. Jeg ville sikkert give ham bedre karakter, hvis ikke han var så skide irriterende. Kan vi afslutte her? Jeg har 200 børn. Dit barn er ikke så specielt. Han klarer sig altid godt i eksaminerne, hvilket er irriterende fordi han er sådan en lille blærerøv, som altid retter mig. Jeg ville elske at dumpe den lille lo- Gavins far? Fantastisk. Jeg havde din kone sidste år, hun var røvirriterende. Hej der. Åh ikke dig igen, sidste år brugte du 20 minutter. Jeg er bange for at der er en lang kø, så vi må skynde os lidt. Åh men du brugte 10 minutter med den sidste forældre. Han er ikke irriterende. Han kan lide at stille spørgsmål. Mange spørgsmål. Går mig lidt på nerverne. Kevin… ingen klokke som ringer. Han har fregner og mørk krøllet hår. Hjælper det? Ja… ja. Med snottet! Det konstante snot hele tiden. Så I er skilt? Ja. Tak for ikke at komme ind separat, for det er bare så meget spild af min tid. Nu Hr. Smith… øhm… du ser faktisk ret godt ud. Så jeg vil tage mig god tid. "Ehhhh lærer" Den klynken. Ahh den går lige igennem mig! Dog ret god fagligt. Har I overvejet privatundervisning? Hvorfor? Jeg er ikke en ret godt lærer. Du driver ikke tilfældigvis en familie virksomhed? Nej, hvorfor? Det var måske nok Jacks eneste håb. 98… Undskyld? Det er 98 dage til sommerferien. Doomdah Han tegner altid i klassen. Åh herligt. Penisser. Mange penisser.

34 Comments

  1. Nachricht an Jannik
    I met you at the show in Hamburg. We laughed and even held hands (because FAH asked the audience to) and I had a lot of fun with you.
    The good bye was awkward. I thought you would ask for my number. I was planning on asking about yours. But in the end you didn't ask and I didn't have the courage to do it either. We both left and I've been angry about it ever since.
    So maybe you'll read this and I'll get a second chance.
    Lea

  2. I am an honest teacher. I like all my students, and I believe parents are doing their best. That said, sometimes you need to be blunt in expressing a child's needs to the parent or in asking the parent to collaborate with you to support the student. This video is accurate only of those teachers who have a chip on their should because of their own inability to build relationships with students and provide effective instruction. If you are a teacher and found yourself agreeing with any of this, you might want to reconsider your profession.

  3. The one thing wrong with this sketch is it is far too short and the kids described are far too normal. I once had a kid try to headbutt me because I set him homework, I had to phone up a parent and apologise because the kid had sworn at me (it was obviously my fault as I had wound him up so much he told me to fuck off and called me a dirty cnut) and a deputy head once frogmarched a kid into my class and told me I had to have him because the lad was too thick to study gcse level PE. I was teaching computer science.

  4. As a father of an 11 year old. All. Teachers. Suck. All of them. Private or public. You don’t need to be paid more. You get paid more than you’re worth already. Glorified babysitters who don’t want to be there.

  5. Teachers "I really don't care, I just show up from 8am to 2:30pm make 100K plus a year and complain that I work to hard and don't make enough money!"

  6. I have actually told a parent I had no idea who their child was. I'd been at the school for 4 weeks and had a lot classes only once a week.

  7. If teachers at Lakota Junior High School (or whatever it's called now) and Decatur High School in godforsaken Federal Way, Washington were honest: "I don't care about your child. I will give him a passing grade with minimal effort." And in the case of a marketing "teacher": "He can cut class and do absolutely no work and I will still give him an A."

  8. One of the best report card comments I have ever heard was from an honest Irish teacher: "With a great deal of hard work, your son may one day become a halfwit."

  9. In my first year as a primary school teacher I had a child who I struggled to find anything good to say about. In the end, I wrote in their report that they ate a good dinner.

  10. I once told a parent that her son was a pain in the arse. Perfectly true, and she'd just wondered, herself, why he never brought a pen to school when "We have loads of pens in the house." And YES, he was expecting to enter the family business!
    That got me (another) little chat with the headteacher, who did agree about him, but suggested that I didn't say it in so many words.

  11. These are the exact replications of the teachers at our local private religious independant school. Casual christianity college its dubbed!
    Calling for a complete clear out of administration.

  12. As a parent. We detested parent teacher nights…listening to the arrogance and prejudice of some spiteful, heartless poor excuse of an educator sum up in 10min their conceited idea of a child based on their experience of some short time.
    These were the jaded kind that needed their contracts cancelled.
    As parents we see through the false and insincere render some teachers mask….just so you know.
    Feelings mutual.

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