Home Nations 1000 (1000km DIY audax)

A DIY 1,000km audax through England, Scotland, Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland, and Wales… basically a lap of the Irish Sea with 10,000m of climbing.

Featuring a Northern Monkey, a plastic Welshman and a Viking. We were lucky with the weather, but not all of us managed to stay on our bikes.

Manchester Airport Terminal 2 if you really want to know um big odex tomorrow CH in New Heart big odex starting tomorrow th000 kilm England Scotland Wales England Scotland Ireland and Wales 1,000 km 72 hours so why M Manchester airport to pick up another Rider that I met on London Edinburgh London yeah he’s a viking and that’s his name oh hello we’ve just started we’re 4 miles in hello sorry for the interruption um imagine if you downloaded all the footage from a th000 km ride only to find out that you didn’t image stabilization on on the GoPro yeah so you’ll have to bear with okay it’s a bit shaky it’s a bit rubbish you get the essence of it though it’s still a good video keep watching anyway back to the action um we’re four miles in we’re going to strand ra from wit Church in North shopshire 420 km it is currently about4 past 8 it’s 17 minutes past 8 on Thursday evening excuse me sniffling we’re not going to bed tonight in fact we’re not going to bed until we get to Belfast tomorrow night at about 10:00 yeah so 4 20 km for this leg 340 km in Ireland and then 250 Factory Wales the clock has started ticking we’ve got 75 hours I’m in the wrong GE going up a hill trying to talk to you bogers um we want to try and do it in 72 in a bit Yeah Warrington are not a creature was stirring not even a little mouse just three [ __ ] where’s the third one there he is uh it’s been raining but it rained before we got here oh we have been lucky so far oh yeah faffing already the spare socks are already on they’ve both got wet feet Arvid the Viking can’t handle the cold he’s a [ __ ] Viking so yeah it’s um it’s quite cold um it’s going to get down to uh about minus one or two when we go over sha apparently so that’ll be won’t it at 2:00 in the morning Damian’s left his spare gloves behind they’re very special very country in Weston we’re in Preston um yeah nothing to tell you except oh go away nothing to tell you except one one man snot Factory again cuz of the cold um galgate just before just sign for Lancaster at about oh I’ll tell you what time it is exactly it’s 8 minutes to 2 in the morning we’ve done 82 miles we’re doing everything the well are we doing well y yeah we’re doing well hello oh we’re on the magic bridge in Lancaster is it pretty is it pretty oh I hope you can see it on the camera Lancaster at just gone 2:00 in the morning oh yes it’s bloody cold it’s about 1° so far and it’s going to get colder so there where are we Damian hello what what where are we Kendall Kendall Kendall at half 3 in the morning at about 109 mil and – 2° we’re living the dream again it’s like a go Town isn’t it so now we get to go up sha fell it’s going to be very cold up there I reckon we’re going to seeus 4 or five oh well maing B pretty isn’t it pretty at -5° can’t believe I left my over mittens didn’t bring them with me either that or Damian’s bloody wearing them per uh so we’re on our way to penri just coming light as you can probably see all is well in the world is all well in the world is it okay yes are you having a nice time lovely time lovely time how are my gloves are they all right your gloves are brilliant yeah my gloves are brilliant bastard the Romans bent this road according to him it’s uh 7:00 in the morning it’s time to get up and go to work nah not going to bother today I’m going to go for a bike ride instead but first McDonald’s in carile for breakfast standard um I can’t go in and get me breakfast yet cuz I’ve got to mend my bike first because my back light’s not working working because I fell off because I ran into Damian and then Arvid ran into me get ready get down you [Laughter] bastard it’s a bit silly really want it yeah so I’ve got to um I’ve got to do some wiring some electrical work on my poor bike it’s got scratches on it and everything I’m not very happy about it but it don’t matter does it no one died so I’m going in to do going in to do some surgery look where we are Andy thank you very much yeah I’m the last one to get to Scotland Damian’s having a sit down cuz he’s tired um let me give you a statistic folks 163 miles 100 to get to the ferry and we’ve got all day we’re in Galloway Forest you can tell we’re in Galloway Forest cuz of all the trees look at the there’s loads there’s more trees in the bloody field next to my house anyway so far we’ve seen five real donkeys two wooden donkeys a peacock and one haggus but unfortunately Arvid didn’t see it he doesn’t believe that the legs are poisonous you can eat the rest of them but not the legs you don’t believe it um that’s not the reason I turned the camera why did it turn the camera on can’t have been very important can it Murray was born there apparently I don’t know who Murray is uh anyway this is Scotland yeah been lucky with the weather right see in a bit see at the ferry we got we got about oh about 40 mil to get to the ferry see you there bye I’ve remembered remembered what I was going to tell you it’s going to educate you give you a Scottish fact in Scotland they don’t call them valleys no they call them Glenn there you are F fans you’re welcome this is Morrison’s in stran ra which means I’m in stran ra doesn’t it with an hour and a half until checking closes for Ferry number one um should tell you how many miles we’ve done so far 29.8 in 21 hours I’ve been awake for 36 and 1/2 hours stupid isn’t it yeah so we’re resupplying um got a premier in in Belfast uh but we’re going to have to leave there about 2:00 in the morning to make sure that we can get tomorrow night’s Ferry back to Wales from rosair to fish guard so we’re resupplying here with breakfast stuff because there’s going to be now open for the first 60 or so Miles tomorrow be right the sees my mistress wait wait doing today little ride little ride have far you go 350 nice but go that on me want get first sorry yeah sorry um what time of day is it oh about 2:00 oh have you had lots of sleep I’ve had tons of sleep two hours in the past 60 yeah brilliant and what’s the temperature like outside it’s fresh about one it’s luy pardon me oh dear Morning Has Broken um all right where’s Damian there he is if you ever come cycling in nor iron be warned leaving Belfast is very very lumpy we’re behind schedule today we’re under pressure to get to the ferry port in Ross L let touch and go touch touching cloth it rained this morning but since then we’ve been sorry about that since then we’ve been lucky with the weather but 11k away from naven uh first opportunity to get a coffee um it’s 10 8 so we’ve been been riding 6 hours um yesterday was a long day but the suffering wasn’t too bad today the suffering is definitely gone up a peg uh yeah Force feeding Force feeding trying to keep the mood light trying to keep trucking I’ve made all the right Life Choices I have oh yeah oh the green and red of mayo I can see it still your soft and cgy buling your pure Majestic Hills oh yeah that’s right we’re in wickl [Applause] um we’re in Whit clo and we’re sucking diesel we have made up a lot of time we even had time to stop for a full Irish Breakfast woo hang on yeah full Irish Breakfast cup of coffee poo uh s a donkey and another poo been good um Arvid right arvid’s just tried Pro Plus for the first time he’s gangster tripping he’s 3 ft high and Rising he’s trying to bring the moon down I think his teeth are itching it’s like a man possessed we can’t keep up with him good lck God glad right we’re going to go and have a sandwich in a village the eagle ey amongst you will notice that we’re currently Dilly dallying we have been racing our saw little bottoms off all day to catch this evening’s Ferry and we were going to arrive at rosair with an hour maybe a bit more to spare and then we got a text message saying oh don’t worry don’t come until 3 hours after your alloted time it’s been a delay and we might not sail until 5 hours after your a lotted time so we’ve got 30 mil to get to the ferry port and uh struggling with masks at the minute you know 2 hours sleep in two nights uh uh hang on oh Jesus s past 4 we got a check in at half 9 now yeah we got 5 and a/4 hours is that right I don’t know Got 5 and a/4 hours to do 30 mil yeah but then we might not be selling to 11 so what where where and when are we going to sleep tonight might try and bl a cabin on board explain to them explain to them at the ferry port that we are Elite all axes but they were absolutely broken please can you help find out in a minute you know what I’ve had enough of I’ve had enough of using my hands to hold on on rough roads all day just coming into wford and I thought I’d let you know that in Ireland anot it’s called a vtn Victor Tango November fat fans what a beautiful evening to be in Wexford beautiful smog face on uh we’re a russler we would have been on time for the um uh if it was on schedule but it’s not checkins at half 9 instead of half 6 currently setting sail at 11:00 at night instead of half 7 but it might be earlier they don’t know because we’ve had so little sleep and traveled so far they’ve given us a free upgrade to the club lounge and given us a for birth cabin which is delightful isn’t it it’s amazing it’s amazing so we’re going to eat all the pizzas um then we’re going to go and Lounge in the lounge but in the meantime he doesn’t like he doesn’t like this right we’ve done the most miles in England we’ve done the fewest miles in Scotland we’ve done the medium amount of miles so far in Wales England zero donkeys Scotland five donkeys the island of [Music] irand which he does this the island of Ireland seven donkeys Damian makes the point that when we were in his country it was nighttime all the time I’ve pointed out that that’s nobody’s fault except and the great Creator whichever one you believe in I’m not going to get into all that so the big question on everybody’s lips at the moment is is Wales going to pull it out the bag and make sure England gets The Wooden Spoon whose side are you on Wales or England Wales come on Wales let’s see what we can do crer welcome to Wales everybody she’s cold this morning um yeah we haven’t seen a car for ages now turn the camera on here comes one hang on it might be a sit behind us job anyway I’ll tell you um H Andre um we finally set sail about midnight and we got off the ferry at about halfast 3 after all the faffing around and we set the wheels in motion and we’ve had some to breakfast in a lby it’s very romantic just with our headlights so we could see what crap we were eating and today got 155 miles what’s that 240 250 km but today the biggest day for climbing and I think all six legs are fairly empty but we got plenty of time isn’t the race what’s going on here wo turned on by accident do apologize there’s a pothole bye we’re nearly a t with bre we’re going to get a cup of coffee we really need one we really need one cuz we’ve been riding 6 hours already oh but we have been lucky with the weather we’re cycling up the doy Valley uh it is spring in the grvy valley Damian’s got his pasty legs out so is a Norwegian he hasn’t seen the Sun for about 3 years I don’t think um I’m still got me tight son couldn’t be bothered little bit regretful about that but never mind um oh the ride nearly had to finish early Damian had a sna gear cable but no no we’re near stopping because of that of course we’ve got a spare got loads of spares get on with it shifting better than ever so um we got about 65 Mi to go and if we wanted to do 72 hours we’ve got 4 and 1 half hours 6 and a 6 and 1/2 hours to do it in oh man um yes there you go back on familiar roads we’re on Brian trapman roads at the moment which means Daman and I will be cycling here again in 4 weeks time if we recovered 3 weeks time I’m being given a 3we indicator by the northern monkey yeah but I’m not going to video it cuz I can’t be bothered with you all nah that’s not true I just you know it’s hard videoing and riding and trying to keep your buggers entity ained and anyway if you want to know what Brian the Brian Chapman’s like look at The Archives okie dokie bye for now now then 20 mil to go did I tell you that we had a snapped gear Cable in abist withth I can’t remember if it did if it didn’t I have now that was on deo’s bike sorted that off we went again um we got plenty of time in hands if we want to do the 72 hours oh God it’s Math’s time going again we’re 20 miles to go we’ve got Jesus went eight8 Plus what’s 8+ 3 11 11:00 and it’s currently 5:00 so we’ve got 6 hours in hands we got 6 hours to do 20 miles no that’s to do that’s to do the odax which is 75 hours so we’ve got my um my Norwegian assistant says we’ve got 3 hours to do 20 mil if we want to get to sub 72 he’s just had a Wii and added mini bnk cuz he didn’t have a pint in the pub you see when he had a non-alcoholic beer which hasn’t got any calories in it has it got a drive he had a Coca-Cola I can I can’t how to get this oh you’ve got a drive haven’t you a drive I’ve got to sit down so there you go oh Jeopardy um Wales hasn’t produced the goods yet we’re currently in England but we’re going to be nipping in and out across the border cuz we’re in the what’s he called when you’re in the we’re in the in the hinterland I don’t know so let’s see what happens and we’ve worked out that if if it’s nil nil England and Wales Wales are actually more or less lost cuz Wales has been daylight and England was dark so and I can’t remember if I’ve rooted us past my four local donkeys which are in Wales and there’s a car coming boys but more nervous about the donkey situation than being run over there they are a Fiat with extra reversing lights oh no no no wooden spoon for whales we’re just about to finish I’m not taking you lot to my house Ram that um 70 hours 70 hours yeah yeah whatever bit boring really W it how are you I’m fine and you do you know what that means uh I think so yeah [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah yeah