No. 73: S03E10

No. 73: Series 3: Programme 10: 9.7.83 ‘Yes or No…’

Live from TVS Maidstone

Ethel Davis: Sandi Toksvig
Dawn Lodge: Andrea Arnold
Alec Simmons: Patrick Doyle
Harry Stern: Nick Staverson
Neil Buchanan
Fred the Postman: Tony Aitken

With:
Robert Crowther (biscuit man)
Eddie Kidd
And the Kids

Thanks to:
Demonaim Ltd
Geevor Tin Mines

Film:
Neil visits a tin mine
Alec goes to a model boat manufacturer in the Isle of Sheppey

Band:
The Belle Stars

Sandwich Quiz:
Fred the Postman v Jennie Matthias (Belle Stars)

Devised & Produced by:
John Dale

Director:
Michael Kerrigan

TVS Production
© 1983 Television South plc

Hey hey get ready get on your feet get into gear and hit the streety get moving it’s not too far you looking good come as you are you never know what you see when you through that door with the 73 never seen nothing or nothing like this

Place never be no no way not never no never SE no place no way similar like 73 hey you get ready get on your feet get into gear and hit the street it’s you that we want to see so get down to 73 get down to 73 hey you get down to 73 uh hi hello is that Boo’s clothes shop it is hi my name’s Harry Stern and I saw your advert in the paper yeah I was wondering what sort of qualifications you have to have an Ole in chemistry uh I thought this was a close shot why do you have to have

An Ole in chemistry you like to be prepared for anything I okay yeah fine what do do I want an interview um hold on do I want an interview I think I’ll skip this one okay no not at all thank you no okay bye chicken morning bad news I’m afraid I lost me

Job on Wednesday I mean it wasn’t my fault or anything I wasn’t Lippy to the boss it’s just that they’re making massive staff cutbacks at the hotel where I work the hotel where I used to work I should say and I’m looking for a job what I don’t know what’s going on [Applause] morning har morning morning Robert say good morning all right Robert har har Robert pleas to meet you Robert hey look don’t I know Alec and Ethel are mad but this morning they’re being particularly extraordinarily mad what’s going on well I don’t know I haven’t seen him yet why

Do you I up and fight like a man or like a woman woman you ass what’s going on you see what I mean I’m sorry about this Robert I forgot to tell you about there and they live here as well this is Robert Crower he’s an illustrator and he does all sorts of

Things but today he’s come here to work in biscuit now you wait and see what he does with biscuits you’ve never seen biscuits like it they’re amazing W I’m awfully sorry I better have eaten my sword you come back to me come this way get away too quickly what what is

Going going on of course I was better at this in my salad day get it salad is a very good salary swords they brilliant goody good morning how are you that’ll do go over the top right okay morning morning we’re just rehearsing the chase sequence from this film we’ve written

What we’re going to do tell them all about it’s going to work well well you see it’s called the sand of time right and both eil and I adting it and writing it that’s right it’s a medieval comedy well I say comedy it’s got It’s got the

Odd gag in it and it’s set in medieval times and the 17 characters yes played by all four of us 17 characters oh tell them about the bit where we you tell them about the bit where we about that bit where no no no I’ve got reservations

About that bit oh well um tell you what Harry could go in the moat instead of you no it’s not the moat business I’m wor about see we be two very important decisions to me right have we get enough money right yes enough money and enough

Time okay decision time shall we do it or not okay heads or tails uh Tails it’s heads uh tails what we don’t do it heads we do it we do it listen what about the casting you who’s going to play which part and so oh well

Leave that to the director I know who will play what this coconut oh hi Robert makes these amazing things out of biscuits now just take a look at this you can hardly believe it’s a biscuit is it really all biscuit it’s all edible yes um these are these are

Biscuits and this is sort of food covering you you do the color to food covering that’s right yes sort of yellow and the red which is added after you’ve rolled out the biscuit and what about the eyes they’re little Curr just currents yeah and coconut for the

Background so you can you can actually eat it all that’s right yes it’s too good to eat though isn’t it and just look at this one now this one is just incredible I don’t know how you did this one how did you do it um well it’s

Obviously too big to go in the oven so it had to be made in four sections and then assembled after it sort of cemented into the background with icing was that difficult to actually put it together once you got it it’s you need to shave little bits off here and there to make

It all fit together it’s quite an art isn’t it look at the little bus here I bet that’s a number 73 don’t you not sure if that goes over Westminster bridge what’s that made out of uh maip pan yeah yeah and what the clock is made

Out of maip pan as well no the clock’s iced on the letters are iced on with the there’s all sorts of things really isn’t there and what about the the clouds what are they made out of they’re sort of flaked rice which has been set into the

Icing while it was still wet so everything you use is edible yes and the C is the T C it’s the T yeah that’s what actually a mistake there it’s all got got like a big up but it looks like a wave yeah that’s lovely

Now you’re going to make us a 73 Biscuit House aren’t you I’ve got you all the stuff you wanted do you want I’ll bring it over here now you must tell me how on Earth did you get the idea for making biscuit pictures um it started off with

A self-portrait which I did when I was at the raw college and uh from that I got some work working for mam Tu wax works yeah um to produce the Dutch royal family in biscuits and uh the U that’s how it really started did they ask you

To do a picture and biscuit or you you just decided to do it I decided to do it as a we had to do a self-portrait in any other medium apart from sort of paints yeah things like that were they impressed when you turned up with a

Biscuit picture yeah well I was actually putting it on show it actually broke in two yeah what about how do you actually do it how do you actually make it well you start off by it’s a fairly simple uh biscuit mix of sort of flour Marge sugar

And um um so normal ingredients really yes the normal sort of things these to biscuit recipe and you shape it yes that’s right yeah what what other kind of pictures have you done apart from these two I’ve done some portraits of people and also I’ve done a bucking and

Pars for um the VNA in Jubilee year a whole bucking par yes yes was that difficult it was quite difficult cuz it was a very big one and I sort of made it a sort of maip pan Gra four grand that’s sounds lovely now this is a silly

Question but have you got an ambition in biscuit I mean is there something you’d really like to do I’d really like to make a very big Biscuit something sort of 8T by 4T something huge door bell who’s going to get it not me no not me not you yeah I’ll get the

Door FR how are you very well yeah she is Hey listen I’ve lost my job do you know if there are any situations vacant in the GPO well there’s the student post at Christmas I don’t know if there’s anything now I’ll have a word

With the p keep an eye yeah hey L come through here we’ll talk about it tell us what happened at the you date with we got go home early today okay look I picked her up halfast 7 in my van and she looked so beautiful she was

Wearing little green hat and long green dress and she had her high heeled green running shoes on she looked a bit like a broad Bean actually run a bean oh dear anyway we got to the ball and there were two menus alak cart and table do what

Did you add you uh St and kindy pudding and then we we danced we did we dance we danced the Mambo and the sber and the Cha Cha Cha and the postman stomp are you going to go s well I don’t know that’s what I’m here

For this morning she said we’d have a talk about it and just to try and sway her my way I’ve got her favorite a band The Bell stars in the yard oh godam do Rush oh listen great you just to around we don’t seem to have to no

No suppose I got all the time in the world don’t I come on put R how’s it coming on Robert oh fine all right Hey listen I won’t beat around the bush mate but are there any jobs going as a biscuit man’s assistant then well

Have you had any training for it I used to make choc biscuits at school mate well it’s a bit specialized isn’t isn’t that isn’t that a good qualification I think so never mind are you too good at arithmetic why is that cuz when the numbers count here they are 3 2 Roger R and his Eagles fighting for our fre fly through in an outer space not to join them but to beat them Roger and yet he’s our man hero of our nation for his adventures just be sure and stay tuned to this station come and join us

All you kids for lots of fun and laughter as Roger R in his men get all the crooks they’re actor Roger and yet he’s our man hero of our nation for his adventures just be sure and stay tuned to the Station as this erroneous episode begins we flash back in time years ago off the coast of beautiful star studded San Pedro California a ship was in trouble today that ship the HMS margolus is going to be raised from its watery Grave by deep sea divers you say it was

Carrying a very valuable cargo ah gold gold gold Ro that’s right bird brain get the feathers out of your ears feathered ears feathered ears and those divers people are going to get that gold for us that’s what I’m up to well what did you learn Iron Mike can we raise her I

Attached a giant chain to her we can pull her up anytime you would like to yes anytime at all then let’s get started aha but little did the captain know that evil lurk just below the port bow to the left all right Men start the winch let’s raise the Treasure all right matey it’s all over but the shouting hold that boat hold that boat oh you make it very difficult to be a pirate now hand over that treasure ship before I blast you out of the water what’s the meaning of this I’ve been working years figuring out how to raise

Their ship the treasure is mine now I’m taking the treasure say come on Carl Bob Hook the ship on to mine we’ll sail to our Hideout and the gold treasure I have one last request ah what is it don’t do it and meanwhile who do you think just

Happened to be driving along the coast Highway enjoying the sights oh it’s good to get out of that traffic kids suddenly Roger heard a cry for help help Roger Roger what was that what help D oh that that’s a man yelling help help help well let’s save them oh

Brother of Hero’s work is never Done quickly the captain explained to Roger what had happened and then Red Dog and the parrot took the treasure and set sail H sounds to me like the work of Red Dog the pirate you have an unbelievable mind yes I do I’ll get after him I know where his Hideout

Is now Carl Bob me fine feathered foul we’ll go down into the hold and see what’s in store for us come on let’s split up the loot Rock one for you and two for Me suddenly as red dog and Carl Bob are about to split up the treasure what’s that wh wait who are you I am a giant squid I am protector of this treasure sink this boat again and I will let you have these two Cals otherwise I’ll strangle your nose off say no more

You’re as good as sunk so I’m sorry about that treasure Captain but I believe it’s better left under the sea if the giant squid ever gets tired of guarding it he said he’d get in touch with me as for you two you’ll be put away where you can’t

Bother anyone for a long time REM Jets if that’s the way you want it but I’m warning you without us you got a pretty lousy show baby and so ends another adventure of Roger Ramjet the hero who makes everything nice again right the shops right you want to

Go out the door turn left right down the road then turn right left left right yeah then then go straight down and the shops are just near the 26th bus stop okay fine you think you find it yes with those directions how can you go wrong

See you later yeah Hey listen how’s your job in the clothes shop going oh it’s fine how did you get it well I got uh CSC woodwork guess what you two what the film Project’s ready oh brilliant there’s a lack of money so it’s not that brilliant between the four of us we’ve

Got to play 17 characters even better would you like that but there’s another thing because of the money situation we can’t possibly keep inviting all these people down to the house it’s very expensive like the people in a yard who are they nothing to do with that know

Nothing about it Judy drum rummer of the Bell stars look thanks so much for coming down we put your drums next door in Martin and Hazel’s backyard is that all right as well unconventional Arrangement but spine you get very good view look thanks ever so much to you all

For coming down this special surprise for Ethel and everything talking about Ethel how’s the courtship going I mean has she said whether she’s going study or not yet no well she hasn’t I’m hoping that we’re going to have a chance to talk this morning my fingers are cross

Sprad know what it means to you yeah the thing is I think she’s typing there in the shed now should we come on let yes or no yes okay yes can I can I no oh please Alex please can I do delve down date please please okay okay okay you can do

Delve down date thank you right it’s time to announce the winners of last week’s hun the work and Har is going to delve down deep on I’m going to delve down deep here we go and this one is from Helen cess from St John’s Worcester

Well done Helen well done I see it what was oh yes and the hidden word last week was organized organiz right now this word it’s a slight confusion he wants a word I want a word so we can’t make up our mind so we’ll have to to a coin for

It right hum wi okay here we go your word my word okay right so my word right this week has got eight letters now the usual address to write to is number 73 PO Box 73 made Stone Kent but that’s my bit I didn’t you could do that sorry and

On the outside of the envelope please put as usual the word and that bit the word oh there’s your prize by the way a lovely number 7D dictionary no smashing this week’s clue is coming up right now I never ever help Alec with the clues for hunt the word now then

Conclusion I finished my film script I’m still not very happy with seeing 446 let me see morning e morning Fred how are you I’m fine than I’m bit busy just a moment I’m doing my film script oh yes how do you spell medieval uh I before E except

After C isn’t it don’t be silly there’s no sea in medieval no nor don’t do that oh look that’s why fil haven’t You’ got some letters to deliver I’ve just finished my second delivery and I was hoping that you could spare a bit of time and we could have a chat look Fred

You see this film has got to be shot the whole thing we’ got to do it all next week I just haven’t got time you haven’t got time well I suppose you you won’t have time for for a surprise then will you surprise yeah I mean you wouldn’t

Have time to pop out into the yard for a surprise would you what what kind of surprise well it’s you wouldn’t have time it’s only a special surprise and you you’re too busy well I mean even Shakespeare took a break come on oh the bill

St about Fred oh about Fred well I think we should talk about Fred somewhere privately don’t you yeah okay how can I get past him though you take my hat take my glasses right disguise look Spanish we very nice come hello love the shades olle olle

What ol smoke shall I shall I do the coffee no shall I do the washing up no what you you’re right yes no uh I see we’re playing games today are we right no no are you going to sit down then come yes yes come on you what oh these

Things were sent to me by Ben shell of Spar Road South Lon thanks a lot Ben do look nice hey D if I watered them they would grow very funny Harry I’ve also got sent this lovely little roller skate now look at that that’s good and that’s

Been sent to me from Paul McGill uh from Scotland and he says Dear Don like you I am mad about roller skating I have sent you a little present and hope you like it uh all my love to all at 73 please write back love Paul now Paul we

Actually all write back to everyone but sometimes it takes us a long time cuz so many letters and we getus letter but we do write back it may take a little while actually that’s brilliant but what I want to know is how are you going to put your feet in

It day I can’t help it this letter is from Robert Johnson and it’s a cracker it says Dear 73 three I went to the fair last week and I won a goldfish I didn’t know what to call it so I called it eth no offense I see what you mean

Actually yeah looks a bit yeah I’ve got a poem here now this is a gem but unfortunately there isn’t an address on it so you’ve got to put your addresses on when you send the letters but I anyway you recognize who it is whoever it is and the poem says ready for this

Every Saturday morning at roughly 10:00 a.m. I Rush downstairs to wash some peirs of rather smelly socks at the speed of sound I Dash around I’m make a cup of tea I hear a quite familiar sound it’s number 73 Ethel sweeps the yard again Harry sucks still stink DA has learned new

Skating skills Alex asleep I think the band plays in the living room sounds really good to me posties after Ethel once more well down at 73 that’s a brilliant poem but I just want to I just want to clear this rumor about the smelly feet right they do not smell I

Repeat they do not smell since I’ve been using this wonderful foot uh deodorant they smell of alpine snow don’t worry about it mate right have we got time to show a film all the time in the world for your film do you remember when when

On M skting down to corw this is the film you haven’t seen yet it’s me down at Tin Mine I’ll put it yeah you go down at Tin Mine for to mine tin of course a tin mine a tin mine yeah great hello girls hell you all right yeah

Uh yeah yeah yeah see you sor silly of me to ask really want I although I don’t know you know Ethel never usually gives me a definite answer like that usually probably maybe could be don’t know now all of a sudden it’s yes no see seor good ide anybody B

Private anyway so then Fred took me to the fatalist ball right fatalist stamp collector stamp collector and we had to do the GP Shuffle actually it’s called the GP Stomp and it goes like this it goes lick St GPO great you want go ready GPO which is fine it was good fun

You know except they wear these steel capped Health clogs post me you see and so my feet haven’t been the same since and then he said he said to me he said right I’ll show you a special treat at the end of the date I’ll show you how I

Can deliver an Express package from the door of the main post office to the door number 73 in 25 seconds is it no it took 12 minutes ready to go back for my stomach have you had any peculiar boyfriends oh I’ve had some peculiar boyfriends in night time yes there’s WR

Like this all the time he was um he was a photographer from Manchester called rembrand and I didn’t know why his lip was P like that till he kissed me just he got no cheese oh no what’s band photog man transfer band about you I one

From R you know and did you did what you the B you know and of course is my friend from the deep south of United States of America been struck by lightning five times and I was relieved of my eyebrows from the lightning it’s called Chuck well at

Least at least I mean at least I had romantic boyfriends I mean I ended up with a Postman yeah well tell us about Fred anyway oh well it’s not if you don’t I mean if you you know if you don’t fancy Fred I would mind she’s gay

I’m gay yes oh yeah well I think we girls would talk about this privately would you scaddle please so here we go then me down at Tin Mine and I’ll tell you mate this is one of the scariest experiences I’ve ever had 1500 ft below the ground just like Journey to the

Center of the Earth wo wo wo wasn’t it pitch black down there now it wasn’t too bad cuz I had a little lamp on me crash out oh Andy just watch this it was great film mate yeah 5 4 3 2 1 there we go since I’ve been down here in Cornwall

I’ve been susing out about all these old tin mines there’s hundreds of them all Ruins [Applause] Years a go tin mining was a thriving business around these parts but now there are only three working mines left and GAA is one of Them me gift of the Gap soon talk my way into this one here we are then 1500 ft under the ground yeah first BL pretty steep slope this isn’t it it’s one and four actually somewhere around how far down Do It Go um in total some 2,000 on Ft 2,000 actually you can feel the the the slope sort of behind you back it reminds me of going up in an airplane on you backwards

Where are we now what’s this place this 7 level on that road down there it’s like J need to Center the a this it what what’s this for on the right this ventilation this is our only means of vent ventil in the dead end see we’re going into the end of the tunnel

The face that’s actually the face is it yeah that’s right so that’s that’s the only ventilation that the guys down there have got yeah over here we have uh compressed air and water and uh the compressed air is our form of power underground yeah okay Mr Pasco how far

Are you going to walk me now come on oh well you can walk for miles and miles underground no you can but uh today we’re not going all that far apparently millions and billions and zillions of years ago this part of coall which is solid Granite came rising up

Out of the sea now that was dead hot but when it started to cool down it started to crack didn’t it there was all this other stuff bubbling around at the center of the earth up rocks explosions and all that to Upper came no messing fill the crack up loads of

Minerals all the gear especially 10 you can’t just see it you can’t see it there no that’s not t in fact if uh we get 1% uh out of this stuff we’re doing extremely well so you can imagine we don’t see a lot of it not really 1% so

That’s like every every hundred tons you get out you only get one ton of Tin Oh It’s really hot down there isn’t it well not too bad it’s almost like a furnace on the a well there are hotter places I can assure you now if you don’t mind we better go back because these fellas right sure got great right [Applause] Mr Pasco that was amazing just to see how it’s really done thanks a lot next time you’re in Liverpool I’ll show you around okay T oh what conditions to work in ruthless my tell you those guys work really hard you know Hey listen you like heavy Rock

Don’t you yeah got a pre for you what’s that that’s the Teno mate that’s the stuff that those guys were drilling for down there and bringing up in the trucks you know really how many bite Bean can can you get out of that then uh I’m not too sure but this way is

About 2 and there’s about a third of an ounce of tin in air so it’s like I said in the film to get a ton of tin you have to bring about a 100 tons of this stuff a l you tune up the guitars now

I’ll be back in a minute okay oh Harry have you seen Ethel anywhere yeah she’s in the lounge hey FR no come here look about this job in the GP I understand you have high friends in high places well I mean put in a I love that

Margaret raford I wish Jimmy copelan had been in it yeah so do I what was it called passport to per oh I’ll just translate she said passport to Pim you talking to me a CH uh she just asked if I’m referring to her on I chewing a piece of architectural

Artifact you want to come up and see myself with this sometime are we tourament FL oh good I’ve just been invited upstairs to her apartment block to see her brand new gramophone Sil ah Ethel at last we are alone very elusive this morning I’m determined to have a my

Friends that’s posted posted do not stop messing up about Al you’re so smart you say what you think about me going out with the post well I think hell not You’ a lot to do youve a lot of you’ve got too much too much to do the film to

Organize you know you’ve got the housework you know well I so well don’t you like him well it’s all right but I just don’t think he’s your type and who is my type then or who’s your type me joke e e get lost we’re just uh we’re just good

Friends good friendss hello I thought we’ thought we’d come and tell you how well Fred and Jenny getting on you know what I mean Jenny really oh well I’m not bothered no not much I’m not bothered I’ll give her two seconds one Fred good bu listen have a seat right

Let’s have a look at Connie and find out the secret of the universe it’s very it’s Connie oh great she’s in here she is maybe she can help me find the universal secrets to get in a job eh well I don’t maybe she could but I certainly I can’t cuz I don’t

Actually how how to operate we do oh do you very smart right away oh what a lovely little pan does that meant to mean something good morning con good morning oh look at that flash Hy I wonder know what this is going to be is name is it a

Ball no no it’s not going to be a ball it’s going to be a face and it’s a sad face sorry to hear about the job Harry so am I mate very sorry very sorry a bind unemployment oh it’s unemployment figures unemployment figures were 2, 98392 now 2, 9839 122 I tell you it’s terrible what are you going to do I don’t know get a paper fine idea hard what you say about paper rounds paper nice actually paper round I don’t know 2 million papers delivered a day approximately 300,000 delivery people

Use average wage 250 to 4 that’s not going to keep me going is it really is it it’s not enough law it’s would you be pleased with 250 for pay what’s it say average pocket money for 5 to 16 year olds £124 for boys £14 for girls what you think of that then

Girls wonder why the cut cut get on it let’s find out what’s on next pocket pocket money9 why was in pocket money last year far too much far too much how much pocket money did you use to get we were luck we got that’s the SC what’s this going to be

One two telion we’ve got four we’ve got two we’ve got four we’ve got nine well is it nine we’ve got now no I wish we did have nine kids kids kids kids kids kids you got to go we promob for them what’s all the morning for we don’t want to

Go I’m sorry come on youve got to go when you made the decision you said so you’ve done Hey listen next time you stay you stay all day right is that fair that’s well they’ve all got jobs to go to what am I going to do uh don’t worry

Alec and the kids will help me find a job e yeah you see you later have a good time don’t work too hard see byee to Fred all right now then I think if you just F that away and put the name a Talk Jenny that’s the main thing to I

Need somebody to take my mind off this I know we’ll do the inventions competition that’s it now for those of you who weren’t able to drop in on us last week I don’t know you’re watching cricet or whatever ever you were doing we’re having this inventions competition and whoever sends

Me the best invention is going to have it built by that brilliant inventor Tony English I’ve got a whole series of plans here now for example they have ranged from the bizaar to the Practical to the theoretically quite possible like for example there one here which is a bit

Bazar from Robert bath which is an invention for getting a very lazy cat up onto its favorite chair without it actually having to move we brush that one aside this one is a romantic Postman Scara and what it is you’ve got one of Dawn’s skates underneath the board with

Some books on it and a fan and you kick the skate in the direction of the postman the fan blows Harry’s socks which are there and the smell of the socks drives the postman away that’s from Alec glazbrook and David Hill brilliant one this one is a pocket money

Collector this a very simple device I don’t know why anybody hasn’t thought of it before what you do is you chain your father upside down to a wall and Shake him and put a money catcher underneath him and all the pocket money falls out and Binger pocket money collector and

That one is from Justin Rous who’s age nine now this one involves a theory of the basic principles of how magnets work it’s called Magna skates and you have magnets on the bottom of your skates and magnets on some rails and in theory it should enable you through the principles

Of the North and South Poles in magnets to skate along now I’m not that brilliant on the theories of magnets so I’m going to check that one out with Tony English if you’ve got any ideas for inventions at all send me the plans they can be practical or bizarre or inventive

How whatever kind of invention it is send the plans to me diagrams descriptions whatever to Ethel number 73 PO Box 73 Maidstone Kent let me undo these now and I’ll read this one out um now this one says Fred met Jenny oh yeah um at the bus shelter

And the consequence was it fell over it’s not very mtic is itn’t really is it no well I suppose the bus shelter I can’t the best invention so far is this one it’s a boyfriend collecting device is it’s also extremely useful for starting the television now look here [Applause] Fred hey hey right okay yes no no yes oh oh no no best of three okay hi oh hi chats oh um should we get it no Eddie it’s Eddie kid Eddie kid who’s Eddie kid don’t know must be the Eddie kid look who it is Eddie Kid famous

Stump man world champion record holder good to see you mate how are you not too bad yeah what’s with all the youngs Eddie uh well I get a spray job on every one that I go for a big jump yeah um that one was for the 32 cars at br’s

Hatch and that was the one from my film Riding High you’re on tour at the moment that’s right yeah bril um for four months riding every day four months that’s right so look out for the posters everybody and uh wow come to the show watch the record that you hold Eddie um

I jumped 190t over 14 double deckers wow is that the most dangerous jump you’ve ever done uh I suppose one of them the other one was when I jumped across uh broken Railway Bridge in my film Riding High tell us a bit about this is this a

New image or something this is so mean can you get get out come out one minute come on it doesn’t want to come come on now look at this this is a big buildup yeah uh this one I’m going to change my style uh to black and silver

Rather than red white and blue everybody’s going red white and blue so I’m going to change this that’s right I tell you that reminds me of Darth Vader that’s right it looks a bit that’s Ultra flash there is listen one thing I’ve got to ask you mate right do you ever get

Scared before a jump uh not really uh it’s the night before it’s really hard to get to sleep you have to psych yourself up that’s right and when I get down there the andrin is really pumping through and once I get on the bike I’m all right you know relaxed when I mean

When you’re on tour isn’t it more dangerous the fact that you’re doing it every day one after yeah because obviously I’m tired I’m doing a lot of traveling I do 50 or 60 miles every day so the risk is that greater yeah cuz I’m doing it every day well how many jumps

On average do you do on a week when you’re I do about 10 a day um so I’m doing about 70 a week must be really tiring this bike for Edie this is Classic this uh well this is what I done the I attempted to break my world record

At Brown’s hatch I I did have rockets on the side coming out but they failed on on me um but this it really goes quick actually I think we’ve got a video of that on computer come and have a look at this mate this is this is the one at

Brand’s at right let’s just bung these over here now I hope I can just remember how to work this year this W3 T5 and then that here we go one 2 3 4 5 into it come on now we go there it is um right

Oh I was coming out of the corner about 85 mph there yeah um I didn’t have enough speed on the first one um it was at Brand’s hatch I was jumping uphill as well and you’ll see on the first one uh I landed short uh the boards collapsed

Uh I done two jumps there where I should have only really done one jump how many cars did you clear there uh that one was about 26 and this is me running to see how fast I was going I had somebody there with um uh I don’t know

Speedometer clock and see how fast I was going now this one I go for it it’s quite important to do a big build up here isn’t that’s right because there was a big bend there it doesn’t look that much um and this one I was probably

Doing about 86 close 90 I should have been taken up at 96 to clearer but unfortunately I didn’t make it again oh what height did you get you went pretty about 20t yeah then smashed into some boxes again brilliant yeah you can see it again I think is this a yeah you can

See the balls as I take off the suspension really handles well and then as I land in a minute you’ll see all the balls they just won’t fix down properly Spring right up and uh it takes quite a big pounding on the bike as well that’s

Terrible at a time right is it do the preparation and that happens but still you’re going to try one piece anyway yeah yeah brilliant hey what’s what’s special about the bike apart apart from all the all the neat gear on here um well I have the a you put in the forks

You can pump them up um uh the suspension has been modified on the back as well uh what s bike would you call it well it’s motorcross bike with a few modifications on yeah you’re into ski bikes now right yeah have you had a chance to ride any of them lately uh

Well I did yeah I’m on Ultra quiz tonight tonight hey well listen if you want to see any more of Eddie’s daredeviling look out for posters in your town cuz he’s going around everywhere that’s right and Ultra quiz tonight at 7:45 7:45 a good one Harold I’ve told you not to bring

Your moped into the lounge eth you said you said not into the Lou didn’t I mention the lounge no oh that’s all right then oh you must be uh Eddie kid sorry Ethel Eddie fine hey you want to come and jump over some buses with me is that right no

No I don’t really you said she want to jump some buses go go on try the where’s the coin give us a coin come yeah yeah you got a coin big decision right go on yes luck you got to jump over some bu come don’t be a chicken take

Care oh poor e Hey listen he you’ve lost your job yeah what you have an argument with your boss or something no you’re looking for another one now yeah think it’ll be easy yeah no you want to try looking at Paper Mate have you tried yeah any look no you depressed or

Something oh no if you’re not depressed what’s wrong with yours and getting out of his yes no look look look it’s the yes and no game right but I make the questions to you and you must reply without saying yes or no I know you try

And trick me into saying yes or no go on and try no problem good laugh this good laugh go on right okay fancy yourself a bit around here didn’t you Neil I do bit of a old smoothie a you Neil I am smooth going out with that Michelle Falcone

Next week a you I am go out with anyone she will w’t she no she doesn’t no you said no all right tell you what good idea for phone in yeah yeah very good yeah that’s what we’ll do right you give ARA me a ring and what we’ll try and do is

Catch you out on the phone and you’ve not to say yes or no for a minute okay right now you know the number by now yeah it’s maidon you’ve got to get that code for maidon or you won’t get through to us and the code is 0622 so the full number is

06226 TR o That’s M Stone 6 o Tri o must be something about that Alex yeah we must anyway let’s go on thehe looky okay oh no we can’t rehearse anymore why not they’re here oh oh come on let’s get on with it anyway okay let’s do listen I

Got a smashing letter right is from Elizabeth McCarthy who comes from Campbell will New Road in London right and she says Dear number 73 I have a very good book for your highly recommended shelf it’s called The Secret Diary of Adrien mole h 13 and 3/4 by by

Sue Townsen I read it twice and I still think that it’s really really funny please read it out I thought it was excellent your hopefully Elizabeth McCarthy well I thought it was excellent too and I only read it once and for those who haven’t read it right Adrian

Is 13 in 3 quars and it follows his life from this age to the age of 15 he finds himself as a bit of a a poet and an intellectual and he has some problems in fact it’s a really funny problem he’s got a sport a big sport it’s not funny

No it’s not really that funny I suppose anyway let’s read it okay okay okay right well I go first yeah right oh yes anyway Thursday January the 1st Bank hity in England Ireland Scotland and Wales these are my New Year’s resolutions one I will help the blind

Across the road I will hang my trousers up I will put the sleeves back in my records I will not start smoking I will stop squeezing my sports I will be kind to the dog I will help the poor and the ignorant after hearing the dis disgusting noises from downstairs last

Night I have vowed never to drink alcohol my father got the dog drunk and Cherry Brandy at the party last night if the r SPCA he about it it could get done 8 days have gone by since Christmas day but my mother still hasn’t worn the

Green lurex a and I bought for Christmas she will get bath cubes next year oh just my luck oh no I’ve got spot in my chin for the first day of the New Year oh dear Friday January the 2nd bank holiday in Scotland and full moon I felt

Rotten today it’s my mother’s fault for singing my way at 2:00 in the morning at the top of the stairs Jas I out to have a mother like her the dog got its own back of my father it jumped up and knock down his model ship then ran into the

Garden with a riging tangled in its feet my father kept saying 3 months work down the drain over and over again the spot on my chin is getting bigger it’s my mother’s fault for not knowing about vitamins this SM do if you think he’s had problems in January wait till he

Gets a few months on when he gets on to May right Sunday May the 24th rogation Sunday it must be religious on a Sunday anyway I have decided to paint my room Black it’s a color I like I can’t live a moment longer with nauy wallpaper in my

Age it is positively indecent to wake up to Big Ear and all the rest of the Toyland idiots running about the walls my father says I can use any color I like so long as I buy the paint and do it myself Monday May the 25th I have

Decided to be a poet my father said that isn’t in a suitable career for poets and no pensions and other boring things but I am quite decided brought two tins of black vinyl silk finish paint and a halfin brush started painting as soon I got home from the doity yourself Center

Nody keep showing through the black paint looks like it need two coats just my luck right so if you want to recommend a book for the Shelf drop us a line tell us who the author is and the book you like and I’ll try and get it on there okay right no ah

But where do they send it oh yes of course number 73 PO Box 73 Maidstone Kent I forgot about the address didn’t I anyway that’s one performance over now another performance the film right I want to hurry to be a princess right hurry to be a princess yes but I’m

Really worried about about the makeup business will you be the C artist sure I’d love to there’s only one problem though I need some money to buy some new stuff don’t worry there other couple of quid on the house right thank you now E

I want her to play a small fat man a small fat man yeah a baron where are they by the way I don’t know should we go and tell them let’s go and find come on let’s go and tell them about this see you Fred Fred Fred Fred in here I manag

To give Edie the slip I’ve got him jumping the dust bins in the alleyway oh I don’t know with all these men around today I’m not getting a moment’s p PE what’s this you’re e you’re going to play a small uh fat man oh oh all right

Then who’s that hello oh hello you must be AEL yes I am yes oh always been a big fan of yours have you oh fine well I’ll just uh I’ll just leave you to it you know she going to be playing a small fat man in our film how’s it comeing along

It’s just about finished now yeah all the bits have been painted on with the food coloring the roof and the windows and the door are you limited to colors when you do things with biscuits cuz of the food coloring I to keep it sort of edible edible colors rather than uh you

Can’t really use bright greens and stuff like that how did you get the shape um I cut it out uh using a trace a tracing paper outline yeah and then uh cut out the pieces separately and stuck them on with egg wi yeah the on top so it’s

Already going in the oven then okay you going to take it over right I’ll set the oven for you cuz it’s meant to be preset isn’t it yes how long will it take about 20 25 minutes I think pop it in oh I can’t wait it’s a sh we not going to be

Able to eat it really is it yeah right any chance of seeing Ethel again Ethel uh no sorry come on let’s go to the backyard and get a breather after joh is eth in here uh [Applause] no don’t do that very disconcerting isn’t this about time we showed the

Film uh it yes oh I mean no no to that oh no it could be didy I’ll let you off with that one right okay could be right could be lenient don’t you need a projector to show a film that could be correct as well right that could be very

Correct isn’t this film about boats it it is about boats uh are we going to stand there all day waffling or what no got get the blind okay I’ll get the blind you get the film okay right I was invited down a couple of weeks ago to

The Ale of Shey by a friend of mine called Alan who’s got these incredible boats they’re only this size right and he enters them in international comp competitions and they’re in fact they could cost over ,000 anyway won’t take any more was it a good film it was very

Good yes oh don’t do that 62 56 41 29 18 10 5 4 hello there Alan how’s things thanks very much for the invite are you both called Al you both oh a t-shirt how do you do Alan Senor so how long have you been actually entering these uh competitions theor uh

Since I was about seven uhhuh and what about yourself I started at 4 but I got really into competitions at 8 uh and what you just started there me father he sort of got me interested and just sort of becomes addictive after that you just

Got to go faster than the time he did before yeah so it’s more or less it runs from the family yeah so how old are you Alan I’m 10 at the moment and what category do you normally enter yourself on F1 that’s Formula 1 which is up to

What particular age 19 in some competitions there is isn’t any junior class so then he’s in fighting with all the big boys that’s very impressive you can po this particular mle here that was one in Bulgaria Bulgaria that’s where you’re going soon isn’t it where’s your

Local pond is it is it far from here uh bar Point down at sh that’s not far away is it no but we’ll go there this afternoon okay yeah so this is the course e y That’s the course is that a standard course yeah it’s a standard course and it’s l out a

Particular way is it yeah how long does the boat take to actually around the course 15 16 seconds that’s very fast really is it that fast yeah how fast is the boat as they travel at 45 to 50 m hour yeah yeah that’s smashing so do you

Think the water’s pretty good for her no not very why what’s wrong it’s it’s a bit choppy choppy yeah let’s get started okay yep right Al before we head the water let’s let’s try and find out how this boat actually works yeah um what controls what what is first of all

What’s this here the control box yeah right no it’s transmitter the trans there where’s the receiver there must be something receiver that case the receiver is in the back down there oh there we are yeah yeah and what’s this part here that is a Servo and this is here

That is the battery pack to control the radio gear right and that is a Servo controlled switcher the same as that well that’s a uh that control speed two speeds invol here that’s right that Sero there controls the R Great okay so that’s that’s really yeah

Okay right let’s I know no we run this other one yeah I was going to see that cuz covered in water otherwise so it say to covered okay right you want me to place in the water [Applause] Fin Right remember give us a shout y go [Applause] right [Applause] stop stop well that was just over 20 seconds so what are your chances then for the Championships in Bulgaria well if the W was better than this it should be about 17 16 is that the is that the

Sort of set is that the time you should beat yeah no 179 is the time I should bite you should clock that yourself you think yeah okay that’s brilliant right on the Moment of Truth yeah you take the watch right I’ll take the control box y I probably take three days to complete

The course yeah right here we go go I can you go right right right that way def this Bo’s going to become a subbody in a minute Telly mate that was a classic film again brilliant tell you what those boats don’t I liked it very much too didn’t

You what on Earth is that this is my costume for the film this is nasty man for the film it’s good do you like it brilliant listen what do yeah I’ve done it there there you go what do you think oh that’s just perfect all right perfect

For the for the for care yes for the bar is absolutely Al get down have you seen Fred anywhere um I haven’t have you seen Eddie anywhere I haven’t what about the biscuit man I haven’t seen him you don’t fancy going out with me do you I certainly do not I

Really fancy going out with you a All who’s that Alec are you sure Alec really oh sorry Al what you Dr like that for this is oh this a part of Al like nasty man for the film oh great what am I going to wear you you going to wear oh you’re going to wear

That now you see the princess wouldn’t wear that that’s well I know she wouldn’t wear it that’s cuz you’re not playing the princess who’s playing the princess Dess oh fair fair enough I mean Dawn is pretty than fair enough what about the princess is not quite so pretty Harry’s playing

That Harry got the part of the princess over me mhm so what am I playing a small fat man Alec I can’t do that bar I mean like the beard for example why not would take me months to grow a thing like that use this well what about my sex appeal

You haven’t got any joke joke joke it’s a joke Eddie Fred and Rob are all fancy you and they’re all chasing you who need sex appe what am I going to do the disguise pull the house call quickly right what else is [Applause] there don’t Worry ladies and gentlemen may I present for you Baron sand of sand castle Bar Hand a bit short on courters mind you The Baron’s a bit short what do you think excent your on the Bell excuse [Applause] me hello what a delightful little grp of minst little bit of equipment there such a lovely mandoline very much I see you seen Missy Ethel anywhere why can’t say have no On my back the music fil through the tree then you played me one more try we were moving with the bra Magic Moment on my move together seem like f being kind funny how you Chang your CH we were dream we were dream for while you Bo God you a [Applause] we will never again will ever be that Way like the sun then you gool down into rain your love never has begun mine was done left in pain we Dre we were Dre for here [Applause] God never again will ever Be Why you changing I never know when Sunshine the next was snow why let me on that Day never again would it ever be that way we were dream we were dream for a while you you are we we Will never again will it ever be that way we were dream we were dream for [Applause] God again be oh come on get yourself together mate are you going to ghost steady with him or what yeah well yes and no yes no oh give her a b will you come on you’ve got to make up your mind either way do you

Or do you not want to do you what go out with the post yeah why he’s right behind you oh your highness we better on youness you’re oh excuse me sir but I was looking for Ethel have you seen her anywhere no why what does she look like

Well she’s about so high curly hair beard and mustache sits around on work Toops give us a kiss Fred look like it tickles on listen um Fred yes I I was thinking that we should have a serious chat you wouldd like to have a serious chat yes no you see

What F you see the thing is I know that no that was a no not a no no no FR FL please really we’re going to have a serious chat aren’t we yes oh it’s me I do it now put it down this oh we have to decide seriously whether

Or not we’re going to go steady well I think that decision is up to you Ethel well I I think that we should just just be um good friends yes but yes oh sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt oh no me mom said I haven’t got a job so could I come back

Oh yeah well well bit of a bad time what did you want David I just come back to see if I can watch Roger well not just now yeah goone I’ve got a job for you get the blind R hey what kind of um friend should we be well you know when I

Say good friends I was more thinking in terms of you want have a rail are you oh no David it’s all right what is the Roger rjet fville oh brilliant here we go 5 4 3 2 1 squid jibun as this Amorous and that old standby glamorous episode begins Roger

Ramjet is on his way to spend the day with the girl of his dreams the beautiful miss L love that perennial flower of American Womanhood well this is one time I’ll have L all to myself that sneaky scoundrel Lance Crossfire Ace test pilot and my principal rival

For L’s affections is at this very moment up in the sky while I have the day off ah there’s L’s house now a Look Out Below Help it’s an eclipse the world is coming to an end the sky is falling in oh relax a turkey lury it’s only me Crossfire you you a snake in the grass yes that’ll do nicely I thought you were out testing somewhere yes old boy I was testing

Parachutes sorry I dropped in on you so unexpectedly well you might as well drop out again I have a date with L Here We Go Again a Ramjet I happen to have a date with L why don’t you give up the lady obviously prefers my company to yours Your Father’s Mustache your

Sister’s Sideburn your aunt’s goatee boys boys are you too at it again now who started this he he did well it makes no difference I already have a date I’d like both of you to meet buggy coolhead the famous jazz musician like what’s happening baby man lot you got to be

Kidding with these two squares I mean they’re the lest I mean like wow man you know L you actually like this bearded baboon he’s simply Divine I mean I just love a man with Talent buggy is the greatest Jazz kazoo player in the business you know well so long boys we

Have to uh how do you say it oh yes we have to split it hey baby you’re pretty wild Lance this is serious yes Roger we’ve got to win her back but how she suddenly goes for Showbiz types well you know what they say no Roger what do they

Say if you can’t beat him join them you mean a fight fire with fire yes one in Rome there’s more than one way to skin a cat in other words hold my hand and so Lance and Roger working together for a change devised a plan to win back the

Beautiful L and several days [Applause] Later W what on Earth we have a surprise for you l we are about to demonstrate that we too have talent yes I’ll wait till you see the snappy show we put together tell me Crossfire do gooseberries have legs no they don’t then I just ate a

Caterpillar a my brother can play piano by ear that’s nothing I know an old man who fiddles with his whiskers I went to get some new dental plates the other day but when I got to the dentist I found I only had a dollar what did you do I got buck

Teeth oh this is ridiculous boys look out for that thrill rug Oh my goodness what are y’all trying to prove well we thought you’d like men with Talent yes we wanted to show you how entertaining we could be oh I wasn’t serious about buggy I have a new boyfriend now he’s a ski instructor a ski instructor yes I’m just crazy about

Winter spot well that snow Biz Roger yes Lads shut up and so ends another frustrating episode of that debonaire romantic happy gol lucky Playboy Roger ramj woo brilliant is everything right between you and Fred oh yeah Fred and I are going to be good friends aren’t we oh

He’s gone David I think he’s gone outside is he oh gosh oh hi oh hi FR oh yeah he’s uh he’s in the L yeah yeah up in the L I’ll take you you see you then Dave thanks I don’t know I don’t think I told Fred properly it wasn’t quite perhaps

I’ll go and see if I can find him outside but do you mind this time I’ll do it privately why don’t you see what’s happening in the lounge oh come on Miranda if you want me to draw you you’ve got a keep still can’t draw that that’s better that’s

Beautiful keep still magic lovely do you remember that remember that boyfriend is still oh come on Miranda SJ you tell her you’re an artist she’s got to keep still if she wants me to draw a portra no all right all right I got beautiful magic just stay like that she got that light

On floated duck all right Miranda I’m giving up that is Dreadful you’ll have to make do with this mate Neil that is terrible what that doesn’t look like me that couldn’t help it you pulling all those funny faces you should keep still look at that that’s terrible stop

Arguing you got a game we can play It’s called Guess The Place guess the place that’s a clue is guess the city guess the city bathroom bath got B oh too easy one n I’ve got a harder one one nil okay one right what’s this one Ethel and Harry Hulk Hulk places Manchester

Manchester made this girl’s good you know this girl’s good go on give us another one this this is this one’s easy actually I think you get this one no then I’d say it was Leaf body Leaf No Leaf T what does that look like on the top Hol Holly H Holly head

Holly head yeah Holly I used it first all right two one yeah I’ll have a go right one see if you can get this one disaar just a quick one baby drawing I have one here I made earlier no hang on there are right this is the

Decid see which one of you two can match me for the championship herrings fish what type of fish are they spy bits whales whales brilliant whales well okay last one this is easy too um what might not run a bean bean bean Town bean bean sporty corn that’s corn corn

RoR a gem must be loads of these yeah tell you I bet you know some of these don’t you cuz I mean there must be thousands of them well tell you what why don’t you send them to me Neil here at number 73 and what we’ll do is we’ll

Show the best ones see if you can think of village town city with a funny name and draw us some funny cartoon Clues yeah good well the address is ready for this Neil number 73 yes very good PO Box 73 made Stone tent oh Kent Kent sorry R

Yeah very good all right that’s your eyes done can I open them now yeah oh yeah listen am I going to have to do this every day a but look at me well Alex asked you to do the makeup right and uh yes you are going to have to have

It every day it’s quite basic right because we’ve got a lot of quick changes in the film oh smed it is this the sort of stuff that you put on to go out in the street in well not quite so heavy Harry you have to have a bit more on for

Film because the camera doesn’t pick up normal makeup so tell me one thing how am I going to get this off well just cleanser you know a bit of baby lotion some cot more comes off quite easily I tell you I wish I’d never volunteered

For this and I really do I don’t know why I’ve let myself in for go on what’s it what’s that you’re putting on now this is blusher now if you were having normal blusher I’d ask you to suck in your cheeks right because it’s to emphasize your cheekbones and to give

Your face some color but as soon as you’re being a silly princess right I’m going it’s a good job I’m being a silly princess really oh you look you I mean it’s going to look really good I do I could not put this stuff on it’s it’s

Horrible I don’t know how you can stand doing it every day you just you kind of get used to it you know yeah I don’t know anyone else that would put it on like the stick as this well I mean lots of people wear makeup I me lots of boys

Wear makeup I think of Boy George and Mark Orman keep your lips still Mark Orman and David Bowie bet Lynch well B she’s not boy but she wears makeup keep still you meant to keep your lips still when I’m doing your lipsti think it give you nice Cupid lips right

Now you can also change the shape of your lips with a lipstick right now I’m going to change yours quite dramatically for the princess right um let’s put a bit down there you’re a devil aren’t you yeah and you can sometimes put an outline around your lips to give you

Lips a nice shape there you are and then fill it in with a nice color there you are and if you sometimes to make it very special you can put a little bit of gold on the bottom lip gives you a bit highlight did you get started I mean cuz

You do quite good makeup on yourself didn’t you I think I mean I remember when I was going to a disco when I was about 12 yeah let me try this week on let’s try this on I want to look what I had in mind no a minute I want to look

Like Roger ran Jet’s girlfriend lot of love what do you think no it’s not I I you know something a little bit more sensible like a come on yes Harry bit of outrage never did anyone any AR I was telling you about how I started my

Makeup now listen to me right so yeah I used to practice a lot we were going to this disco and me and my M oh sorry sorry gone me and my M Christine Toof just had a really good about two hours practicing with all our mom’s makeup in

The bathroom and it was great fun did just got better and better at it really just got you know as you as you practice and people used to give me makeup now I buy on my own well I’m glad I don’t have to do this every day I tell you right

Hope that’s going to stay on don’t play back oh oh sorry yeah should I should I just put it around here and that just give an idea of it anyway yeah right let’s put your hat on blly I hope none of my mates are watching this I’m never

Going to live this down you know that’s Wim but like that I can’t wear it like that I can’t get it on that’s your wimple there you are now you really look like a med I mean we’ll have to spend a bit more time practicing doing this of course what do you think

Um come on get it together there you are is that it okay now you can practice should I should I have go at the lines right what sort of accent should I what sort of accent should I use um I know a country accent Yeah country bumping they’re looking for you Lancelot

You must hide if only father had not banned you from the castle as a commoner oh lovely what did you think all right think I’ll get away until I hit the round and then just lift forward and then the bike will go Who’s the bird Fred do I have an introduction see what

I can do Eddie any chance of an introduction to this charming young lady I knew they through that I’m a man and I this is false this is false these are F I’m F hey hey Materia that’s the last time I do that it’s disgusting I could really go for you princess Neil yeah you said it I’m all right hello who’s calling hello H hello who’s that this is Benny Benny hi you Benny how old are you

Love um 13 13 oh nice even where are you speaking from uh Penington right okay you ready to play the yes or no game you got the rules a you you mustn’t say yes or no to anything I said okay starting from now okay so um you come from bosing

Stoke is that right Banny yeah you said I’m sorry Banny you’re sorry about that mate I didn’t say yes oh you didn’t say yes no all right I’ll give you another chance start again quick okay um all right start the clock you’re from what’s spacing Stoke right mate what’s spasing

Stoke like don’t know you don’t know no I heard that Oh I thought you said you from basing Stoke no peddington oh peddington doesn’t sound like basing Stoke really does it okay then let’s start again start again what’s Paddington like what’s Paddington like all right well do you

Know what I think I’m going to um announce you winner already cuz you’ve done so well all right and because I’m so thick stop the clock thanks for phoning Benny all right mate Tada see you I thought har I thought he said it you know oh St the one right oh yeah

That’s try this one okay hello hello who’s that emiline oh emiline what a lovely name that is right I’m just going to start the clock right you’ve not to say yes or no you know the rules don’t you Emily yeah right okay you’ve got one minute to survive the yes no game

Starting from now now I didn’t hear you say no did I Emily you didn’t did you no right can you tell me what you normally do on a Saturday afternoon Emily do do you normally go out to the shop I do you do um do you normally buy

Groceries stuff like that help your parents sometimes sometimes right can you tell me what you do of a Saturday night just tell me a typical Saturday night what do you do on a Saturday night watch TV and what else what do you watch on TV uh full guy the full guy

Yeah sorry about that Emily you lasted 40 seconds you nearly did it but never mind thanks for calling anyway right goodbye bye see you she did it I feel so stupid fancy getting Paddington next up with basing who do such a go on you go yeah hello hello who’s calling Jennifer

Jennifer what’s it Jennifer all right hello I said hello how old are you girl 10 10 and where you calling from Liverpool Liverpool Oh you mean bathing Stoke Liverpool another one of your lot Liverpool so you ready to start the game yes yes or no game okay then here we go

Starting now okay so what’s Liverpool like is it nice and sunny today very sunny very sunny is it have you got any Cinemas or um things like that Bingo houses around there there’s one in bro there’s what there’s a bingo house in Broadway there’s a bingo house in girls Lan is it

Broadway oh in Broadway is it good do you ever go there I’ve never been there before no no do you have you been to the cinema place very often I’ve been to see ET ET brilliant what else return Jedi oh did you like it fantastic fantastic oh now let’s see

What what else can I oh family have you got you’ve got a family haven’t you obviously describe them to me what’s your mom like curly hair curly hair very beautiful very beautiful I take after and what and you take after and you’re modest as well with it are you modest pardon are you

Modest another winner well done love brilliant brilliant give out to Liverpool wouldn’t you Hey listen you know I’m unemployed you know you know I’ve lost my job pdon you did you know that I’ve lost my job can you hear me I know it’s far away I don’t int to a job

For you have you have you got a have you got a good suggestion work on a motorbik shop work in a motor well what a good idea why didn’t I think of that that’s excellent Hey listen thanks for calling all right take care of yourself

T love bye bye bye you can say yes or no from now on all right bye another scous another scous everywhere aren’t they brilliant Scouts are good at this game yeah they absolutely magic where are we going Lounge loue yeah glass oh it’s done it it’s lovely bring it over

Let’s have a look at it oh doesn’t it look great we’ll have to frame that have you done everything to it now yes although you could add sort of sky with blue icing after sort of cement the house into that and so there are other

Things you can add at the end yes you maybe put a TV area with icing a it’s lovely listen why don’t you put it on the tray to cool do you know I think I’m going to have a go making one of these I don’t think i’ be any good though do you

I don’t know a good idea listen why don’t you ever a go at making your own 73 biscuit hat house right Robert and I have made a fact sheet and if you want one if you want to learn how to make your own Biscuit House why don’t you

Write to me Dawn number 73 PO Box 73 ma Stone Kent right and don’t forget a stamped addressed envelope cuz I’m absolutely broke okay that’s oh he’s gone away number 73 P box 73 Mone oh can I have a bit of that no no no no no you can have this

Show going to frame it put it on the wall Fred Oh look The B post them they’re lovely Fred look but I’m not interested in Fred anymore oh that’s good because he’s going out of Jenny from the Bell stars come sit down Jenny here Jenny over there are we ready right So H welcome along another exciting edition of the sandwich quiz could I have your name please uh Fred Postman Fred the postman okay if you want to keep your posted M and your name is Jenny bellstar Jenny bellstar okay no bias at all today none whatsoever open question either of

You can win now then what we’re going to do Fred no problems at all here open question either of you can answer if you get the question right you get a piece of bread hope you’re going to play it at home okay which bird first opening question very exciting here isn’t it

Which bird is associated with eight p pie of gold uh uh parrot toot and common um a a parrot I A Little Bit Of Invention there I think half a piece of bread actually for invention toen common of course associated with a massive amount of gold but a full piece of bread

There for Fred brilliantly moving right ahead here speeding on okay filling question what kind of filling you going to go for vegetarian corn beef or no we haven’t got any of that what are you going to have sandwich spread a sandwich spread okay very difficult sandwich spread question that we’ve got here

Let’s have a look what I want you to do do is point out Jenny’s worst feature Jenny’s worst feature um um um got any I don’t think she’s got any actually I don’t know her well to be fair that’s absolutely true that’s absolutely true I must

Beir no put fing on another piece of bread open question either of you can answer come on then Jenny I’ll let you I’ll let you have a chance here what is Cliff Richard’s real name C rich open question either of you can answer Harry web Harry web absolutely corre did you

Not know that curious M very nice name there I don’t know why I bother to change it okay open question no it isn’t it’s a filling question what kind of filling you going to [Applause] go of moral support coming in here all right then Jen but unfortunately it’s the postman’s question filling question

What kind of filling you going to go for there egg egg filling okay what I want you to do is I want you to imagine if you will imagine you’re kissing the most beautiful girl in the world all right yep brilliant Le and a lovely pucker action

I you can see there with the pman until that’s a fing you’re going to have to catch up You’ only got halfie that’s it okay open question either of you can answer how many wives did Henry [Applause] the six absolutely correct got it down the second go brilliantly had Six Wives

Okay so a piece of bread there filling question for you what kind of filling you going to go for um tomatoes tomato filling okay what I want you to do for the Tomato filling is make the sound of a hen laying an egg what me you can do

It brilliant on and then of course the egg just lay there by the head have a bit of egg here on the sandwich there we go piece of bread half a piece of bread another piece of bread sandwich and a half each we move on open question

Either of you can answer right it’s very exciting here it’s one sandwiches to two how many thieves did Ali BBA encounter 42 40 40 42 42 say 42 40 the answer reflect is 40 so there’s another one for Fred come on now Jenny I know you do I

Know you can that’s it go for it okay what I want you to do uh let’s have a look make the sounds of an elephant stuck in a water hole luck very like very like a close friend of ours who makes bird nois we can all remember so that’s that’s another

Feeling there for you how many sandwiches have you got now um One have to hurry up anywhere two and half okay open question open question either of you can answer who said let them eat cake um okay filling question for you here’s a filling question what I want you to do

Get a piece of bread for that you get a piece of bread there’s a Jun there getting another piece of bread for the bread quickly now pull your mouth down as far as it can go b a very hild Baker if I might say so what kind

Of that that’s it two sandwiches to three and we move on to the beamed current affairs section I hope you’ve all been reading your tabloids okay paper oh well that’s all right then that’ll do open question either of you can answer on the news of I hope you’re

All assess with the news here because what we’re going to have is which British heavyweight is fighting in Chicago today Bruno Jo Bruno Joe bugner yes I think Jo bner Joe bugner if he was in Chicago perhaps he would be fighting I think we’ll accept the answer

The answer technically the answer was of course Frank Bruner but Joe bner probably having a little bit of a fight there in in Chicago okay open question either you can answer it’s three to three it’s getting very exciting why might there be a new Beatle single

Coming out um why might there be that’s it Jor is it because they found an old tape of they have they found four old unknown beetles tapes and possibly there’ll be a new beet single coming out so that’s four sandwiches to three okay we’re going to have to move on now which

British man won a title at Wimbledon last Sunday johy you’re not getting in there are you Jenny I don’t know but what we do is we give a current affairs question there to bre and a piece of bread there for possibly the best laugh we’ve had

On okay now please please okay over what kind of fuel that’s it have another sand no that’s very interesting though because I thought you had four sandwiches but in fact you’ve only got three [Applause] there running right [Applause] along bit of quiet please little bit of

Quiet please over what kind of fuel is there a price War this week petrol petrol let’s absolutely correct there Fred you got two sandwiches now a Jenny four moving right along last question what’s the name of wh’s new album that is made number one this week wor Greatest Hits what’s it called Greatest

Hits it’s fantastic it’s simply fantastic it’s called fantastic okay we leave that question but in fact at the end there interestingly enough Fred has only got two sandwiches and Jenny has got four so Jenny moves on without any cheating whatsoever to the beamed squidgy bun section brilliantly done now then Jenny

What I want you to do very simple I know you can manage this I want instead of The Vow sound I I want you to say squid B can you sing by the Light of the Silvery Moon can you sing that without using the vow sound I so it’s by

The the bqu oh B Bun the squid bu of the squidy bun Moon must clearly a very musical person and therefore we award you the beamed sandwich que alone congratulations that was the teing D let it all danger Del finally negative so right let’s go Boogie with the bands everybody whose friends come with [Applause]

Me there you go help us out a little bit of Singing let’s Go is it true now I don’t believe it is it true what they say and do you live your life live your life like that day after day and I don’t understand how your body can move when you live your life like some Dark you as he you in his arm he you he’s not reclusive after All when you dance you Captivate me when you dance in that way cuz I can feel it feel and that’s what makes me stay but I don’t see how this man can be so wise to close your life in some strange Disguise I you as he you in here it CH you he’s no reclusive after All You as he you in His e