The House GOP did not get what they hoped for from the testimony of Special Counsel Robert Hur, a former Mar-a-Lago employee told CNN that Trump was moving boxes to the airport the same day the feds searched his home, and Stephen looks into allegations of royal infidelity.
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.
Welcome welcome one and all to The Late Show I am your host Steven colar today was yet another today uh down in Washington was yet another clownish attempt by the GOP to draw some sort of moral equivalency between Joe Biden and Donald Trump this time they heard testimony from special
Counsel Robert herur who is the the guy in charge of the investigation into President Biden’s handling of classified documents in hers report he declined to charge Biden with any crimes but attacked the president’s mental Fitness saying he presents as a sympathetic well-meaning elderly man with a poor
Memory that kind of assessment is sort of outside the normal job description of a special counsel it’d be like your doctor saying well we ran some tests Mr Johnson and uh your cholesterol looks very good but I am worried about how ugly you are I going to write you a prescription
For bag over your head un unlimited refills uh today the GOP was hoping to use details from hers report about Biden’s memory lapses to damage Biden ahead of the presidential election yes Biden has been dangerously forgetful unlike Trump who always remembers that he is running against Obama
And unopposed at that since Nancy Pelosi dropped out so there was a lot of drama leading up to the big moment here’s the special counsel being introduced to the Judiciary Committee ladies and gentlemen her kind of classy sounds kind of classy when she does it Republicans pressed her
With a sharp line of questioning did Joe Biden commit crimes in an alternate timeline he had the same facts and the individual that you were investigating was 65 and had a good memory do you reach the same conclusion if this president was 60 years old rather than
80 years old um would you prosecute him now I’ll follow up on that one what if Joe Biden was a strapping Young Buck age 35 Sun bleached hair washboard abs that little V muscle down here I mean tight with fire in his eyes and a soul full of
Sin would you be tempted to charge him with unforgivable crimes of sultry passion now I mean right there that little cut like you could snap off a leg and stay like that her refused to engage in hypotheticals but today he did release the full transcript of his interviews
With the president and what do you know it’s not as old man forgets a lot as his summary made it out to be at one point her even complimented Biden’s memory specifically saying you appear to have a photographic understanding and recall so the exact opposite of his report summary
At this point point I’m worried about hers cognitive ability did anyone ask him to identify a whale wh now the transcripts reveal that Biden remembered a lot of details he described a submarine deal in Australia curbing Chinese influence in Africa the Improvement of solar facilities in Angola and the president twice mimicked
The sounds of a car loved Angola Jack visited two photovoltaic electricity plants that generate over 500 megawatt of Renewable Power also cars go vroom vroom that’s number one no no I’m serious folks that’s number one number two they go beep beep the car noises car noises were apparently really thank
You car noises were apparently part of a lengthy Exchange over the torque of electric vehicles in which Biden asked you know how it works to which her responded sir I’d love I would love love to hear much more about this but I do have a few more questions to get
Through look I’m no fan of her but the guy had a tough job uh Mr President with all due respect might it be possible to answer the question without a trip to the basement to see the model trains no okay Biden also regaled her with details
Of of a trip to Mongolia saying we’re out in the middle of nowhere and they’re they’re looking up on the hill it’s a 20 mile horse race with all these kids under the age of 16 on bearback racing to come down you know they’re sumo wrestlers doing everything they do so
They walked over and they had a target with Bales a hay and 100 yards away and uh I got handed the bow and arrow I’m not a bad Archer that of course in response to the question sir would you like a glass of water President also joked about the FBI
Search of his stuff saying I just hope you didn’t find any risc pictures of my wife in a bathing suit which you probably did she’s beautiful what a what a strange day it must have been for those agents sir we found several boxes of classified documents uh also uh
Bathing suit photos of Jill from Rehobeth in 1997 and a folder labeled tax documents hubba hubba now of course of course unlike Joe Biden Donald Trump was charged for illegally retaining classified material and who boy do he seem guilty because a former maralago employee and a central
Witness in the case just told CNN that the American people have the right to know the facts and this is not a Witch Hunt well it’s it’s clearly I mean come on I think we all know this is clearly not a Witch Hunt unless wait is Trump a witch wait are are these
Incantations d d ding judges I’ll clean up nicely now the witness’s name is Brian Butler that’s right the butler did it previously known in court documents only As Trump employee number five Trump employee number five by the way also Chanel’s worst selling fragrance if Butler’s interview is any
Indication of his testimony Trump is to use a legal term screwed up the Wazoo Butler says Butler says he and others quote moved boxes from maral Lago to the airport at the same time that Federal investigators were visiting Trump to discuss returning the classified materials that is insane he’s
Doing the exact crime he’s being investigated for while he’s being investigated for the crime identity theft officer I would never I swear on your mother’s maiden name which is what again that’s not bad enough in exchange for Butler’s loyalty Trump may have dangled the promise of legal
Representation as a reward though I got to say Trump picking your lawyer is about the worst reward I can imagine okay do you want the one who drinks so much that he pees shz the one who farts in court or the one whose head is dripping with mystery
Ooze trick question it’s all the same guy the former president former president’s legal bills have really really been piling up they’re a money pit and and and word on the street is that the Trump campaign is so light on cash that the former president may not be able to hold many
Of the signature rallies he so enjoys imagine what that’s going to do to Trump’s already fragile psyche to get the approval he so desperately needs he’s going to have to Rally door too hello citizen do you have a moment for me to tell you how will Mills are
Destroying our failing Nation Bing Bong can I use your bathroom spoiler I’ll be flushing like 10 15 times here’s something here’s something for those of you who are Ro Watchers and I know you are leis I am I’m afraid I’ve got some troubling news about England’s
Royal family um I know this is your life’s passion Louis and I’m sorry as we were talking about on this show yesterday the kingdom has been all flutter by the seeming disappearance of Kate Middleton well now internet sleuths are guessing that Kate’s absence may be related to her husband and the Future
King of England William having an affair oh no my my heart goes out to poor Kate now let’s dish the hot Goss I am ready to Spill the tea literally fabrio bring it out there you go thank you Papo thank you very much thank you you may go go go go
Go not going to share the stage with someone that handsome so I think we all know who the alleged Other Woman is say it with me the maress of Chand what a beautiful name that I’m being told right now that I pronounced incorrectly it is in fact pronounced Chum Counterpoint no it’s
Not learn English England now there have been rumors an affair between William and the marching band of chicanery since 2019 according to tabloids back then when Kate supposedly confronted him about it he laughed it off saying there was nothing to it aha always a good response when your wife accuses you of
Cheating haha imagine me having an affair it is to laugh it reminds me of a jape knock knock who’s there oh it’s my illegitimate son I’ve knocked up my mistress the the Marcus Mumford of chabba is an old friend of the Royals and she’s married to a close friend of Williams David
Rocksavage really rocksavage that sounds less like a British noble and more like a musician from The Flintstones Rock Savage what oh sorry I’m being told it’s actually pronounced chumble we got a great show for tonight my guests are Diane Lane and comedian Patton Oswald A
35 Comments
This tacky mocking of the Prince & Princess of Wales is no longer funny but cruel. These are real people. I have a feeling this will age very badly.
Where are your dancing syringes you freak?
Most classified and top secret documents are classified for twenty years and President Biden May have taken them after the classification was no longer valid. The top secret or classified documents may have been.abele d as such to protect Senator Biden. President Biden has served the citizens of the United States of America for many years. I suspect this investigation went forward so the
Resident would not have special treatment thrown at him. I doubt that any of the documents were to
Secret or classified when taken but this investigation went forward to please the MAGAs..
Yes, the time to laugh about false unsubstantiated rumors with no basis about extra marital affairs is when Prince William's father has been diagnosed with cancer and his wife recovering from abdominal surgery. Of course, this is also one of the shows that allowed Harry on to promote his god awful gripe fest where he talked about his blue penis. So yeah, I guess the whole thing does track with the level of class you guys have around here. Why not just take it all the way into full on crass disrespect and make fun of the King's actual cancer diagnosis or Kate's abdominal surgery? You're practically there anyway.
This is biased and untrue. Dems are angry they couldn't pressure hur to write the report they wanted. That would be grounds to impeach biden(if he was trump…)
So what are your pronouns?
Him/Hur.
What a brilliantly written and delivered monologue🤣🤣
Note that Hur doesn't actually admit he said anything, just that he agrees the transcripts say it!
I'd 100% support Biden suing the heck out of him – but the REAL President is too nice a man to do that.
wow. so so disappointed with stephen colbert for such a tasteless joke about prince william and rose hanbury. these two people have school-age children & william's wife is recovering from a major surgery. and to make a joke base on a lie has shown me colbert's true colors. would like to know what joke he'll make about a rumor that his wife is cheating. will be hilarious, i'm sure. i know i'm just one person but you just lost a fan of 30 years. bye
The witch bit was classic
Prince William segment starts at 8:30.
Colbert is represented by WME, just like his bestie, Meghan Markle. SMH
Biden was found not to be guilty! Why? Dont they know that he is the president and immune from everything just like trump! Why are they still trying to find him guilty of anything! By the way with no luck!
This is why they call them TRUMPED up charges! 😂
Republicantz are Lie Luvverz
Chumley? Good one, England. I mean Chumland.
Oh so trumps house got raided a long time ago but now theres a BOMB SHELL? did they finally get around to read them to find this bomb shell?
The problem with the royals is not wether or not William is having an affair, the problem is two fold. One Camilla who wants to be the boss, two Meaghan who wants her share of being the boss and she cannot handle not getting all the attention. The three boys (Charles, William and Harry) are stuck between these two Alpha females and protocols seem to tie them up. Grandpa always said. if it's got tits or tires it will give you trouble.
Of course he us cheating ge is just like his father and he didn't learn what it did to his mom snd now it is happening to Kate eating disorder and all. She wants out. Heck he had her in a house nust down the road from where he lived. They movedafter Hate but up a fut. He is no better then his father.
😂😂😂😂
Here’s a question?
Is Stephen Colberts wife cheating on Stephen with one of their neighbors? Hmmmm
Wouldn’t it be ‘fun’ to start that internet rumor? (Seriously..no, don’t do it)
Especially since Colbert LOVES spreading rumors started by an acquaintance of Meghan markle from SOHO HOUSE,and Colbert is ‘chums’ with Harry and works for CBS.
CBS who helped spread the racial lies told by Harry and Meghan on Oprah’s lie documentary, where her production company doctored headlines to make them seem racist when they weren’t, all so Meghan and Harry could play race victim and make millions in America.
That cheating rumor of Williams started by a guy who just came from a SoHo House opening in Holland. He admitted he lied. He said that he thought it would be ‘fun’ to put out a rumor that William cheating with Rose.
He didn’t care that the rumor would be hurting William, Catherine, their friend Rose and her husband or their kids. He was connected to SOHO HOUSE, the gathering place of Meghan Markle, who has been stalking and harassing William and Catherine for years.
Stephen Colbert is an accessory to Stalking and Harassing of the Royals in England, by Harry and Meghan.
Stephen Colbert calls himself a Christian but helped Harry and Meghan spread their racial lies about the Royal family.
Let me be blunt….
Meghan joined the Royal family already planning to leave BEFORE the wedding. She retained her American PR company and storage units of her clothes and items..she never intended to stay in the UK.
She lied about Racism to play victim , so she can run off to America and make millions.
She and Harry take photos, videos, and release them days, weeks, or months AFTER the fact, on days the Royal Family are doing charities and engagements , just to try and steal the spotlight.
William and Catherine have remained silent throughout this whole Stalking and Harassing by Harry, Meghan and the Sussex Squad, and Meghan’s friends from SoHo House.
It is not a ‘brotherly rivalry’ or ‘war of the wales’ or ‘feud’…. What is being done to William and Catherine is just plain old harassment and stalking.
Stephen Colbert you are helping the attackers to continue victimizing the victims. SHAME ON YOU
You really are dredging your material from the sewer by talking about baseless rumours surrounding Prince William who is having a very difficult time with a father who has cancer, a wife who has been very ill all the while trying to keep public and charity engagements whilst having disgusting filth like this flung at him from across the globe. It's at times like this we unfortunately see what the worlds media is. Do your research Colbert.
Prince William and Princess Catherine are known for their kindness, stop spreading this nasty rumor. I used to think that your jokes were based on reality, I am surprised that the network allows you to base them on Rumoŕs.
Hur hur hur hur 😂😂😂😂
MAGA says presidents have immunity solo is that true for Biden?
Nice to see u closer after biden skit. Thnx for keeping us in good company you all arexa great kind. You all should pool hop to jimmy seth n thexother guy whit da ROOTS 99! nitey nite
Dont for get bill bob.mAher
Yes it is, learn proper noun rules America!!!
People really watch this n think Biden is doing good job ….like dude your being manipulated
Haven't been on this channel since Biden took over! Did the show get new writers?
It somehow feels fresher, and potentially funnier than before.
But, alas, I'm already mentally preparing for another 4 years of Trump insanity -_-
Having an affair is in their blood line. Charles said he will have affairs just like former Prince of Wales did so why can't he. Look what he got? An old woman. William is his son so not surprised he is having an affair. He broke off engagement with Kate for a reason before he married her. So he has side kicks just like his shameless father who is disliked my many. Monarchy should be abolished now. We do not need them.
That was low. The affair of the Prince of Wales is a big fat lie. It looks like bullying the Princess of Wales is compulsory for the press and the media. Look what they did to the former Princess of Wales. And this man is supposed to be a Catholic. Spreading false rumors about adultery… We don't do that in our religion. Shame on you.
Thanks for the Monty Python… there can NEVER be enough Monty Python.
He is a lost cause. He needs to go to Haiti and and enjoy the steaks they have there, as he eats rice with the Clintons. Evil.
I have loved you for 20 years Stephen, you made me laugh every night, your politics were right on, etc . I even stood in the cold for hours at the old show and never once felt it wasn't worth it to actually see the wonderful show in the flesh. What you did with this video on rumors of adultery–I cannot tell you how disappointed in you I was. Look a little deeper: that rumor started in 2019 after Meghan Markle did not like seeing Harry sitting next to Rose and having a great time. SHE went and told Giles Coren, who put it out and the next day said he'd just done it as a joke, even knowing the track record of Meghan and Harry on total mendacity and c
cruel anti-windsor family charges; he REALLY had quite a time pushing every last one of them under the bus and leaving the bus on the railroad tracks at rush hour. Anystory that might be juicy enough to throw the headlines off the RF's events on on to Meaghan and harry was timed to interrupt, birthdays, the Earthshot prize, the kids first days of school, or a speech made by Camilla , was challenged with photos of Harry scratching his arse and Meaghan wearing tundra togs in August—this was all was Backgridded quickly, and sent out to the sugar squad who blew it up and suddenly everyone was all hungry fangs and gullible eyes on Montecito, with people just blindly believing whatever red meat was thrown out there. There was never an affair–Rose and Catherina are friends, and have been for years. William and the husband are friends too–the couples spenty lots of time together over the years in the way posh hangs with posh (unless you're Harry). I was pretty grossed out by your groveling interview with Harry, who I hope you've discovered has told lie after lie in interviews, and especially in that fantasy novel, Spare. The lies in there are so cruel and furious, writhing so much inschadenfrude and jealousy that I am surprised you thought it was all perfectly true. I wish the Yanks who are chewing on the livers of the Royal family would just stop–these three lovely spawn can read you know, and they know how to google. Have some compassion, and fact0-check your riffs. I'm sorry to write this, and I'm sorry to lose such a bright spot in my life as your cleverness and hilarity and the warm familiarity of you, your career your famly and friends, you Colbertness. Alas. So long, farewell, auf weidersen adieu I hate to say goodbye to you and you.