Our 100th ever guest on the podcast, we welcome the brilliantly funny, incredibly unique and resolutely calm Rob Auton to the sty! From his days as the infamous Crab Cake Kid to finding viral success on Facebook, we have a lot of fun chatting about all sorts, and even witness an intense physical battle between Catherine and Helen…
FOLLOW ROB: @RobAuton
TOUR TICKETS: www.trustyhogs.com/tour
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EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS:
Simon Moores
Guy Goodman
Mary Fox
Annie Tonner
Stefanie Catracchia
Oliver Jago
Anthony Conway
Matthew Thomas
Madeline Quinne
Grace O’Reilly
PRODUCERS:
Richard Bicknell
Elle
Richard Bald
Neil Redmond
Victoria Hutchison
Emma Walton
Harald van Dijk
David Walker
Rachel R
Sadie Cashmore
Claire Owen-Jones
Jess & Nick
Zoë
Sarah & Molly
Cordelia
Raia Fink
Rachel Page
Helen A
Tina Linsey
Graham Marsh
Amy O’Riordan
Abbie Worf
Matt Sims
Luke Bright
Leah
Kate Spencer
Tristin
Liz Fort
Taz
Klo
Amie
Becky Fox
Tim & Dom
Emily Gee
Dean Michael
Sophie Chivers
Anthony
Carey Seuthe
Charley A
KC
Hayley Worf
Aussie Steph
Hope Briggs
Jam Rainbird
With Helen Bauer (Daddy Look at Me, Live at the Apollo) & Catherine Bohart (Roast Battle, Mock the Week, 8 Out of 10 Cats)
FOLLOW CATHERINE, HELEN & ANDREW…
@CatherineBohart
@HelenBaBauer
@StandUpAndrew
Hello welcome my name is Helen bow this is Katherine bohart it’s episode 125 of trusty Hogs and today we are doing the fastest ever episode of trusty Hogs Katherine go thank goodness because I honestly think the last few episodes have been far too slow it’s like oh my
God I’m bored now could they Poli or something quicker it’s like what somebody’s going to have to put the end of the day we’re busy trying to get ourselves out there we want make sure weop yeah absolutely we Are for the trusty Hogs yeah you’re going to give them your problem and they will solve them or maybe they won’t and that’s your problem they’ll have guests and Andrew White on the tech oh it’s Helen and Catherine as the trusty hust the trusty HS or may that was a
Whole episode you guys there was someone that was famous for that like do you remember this they went on the Ellen show ages ago and their special skill was speaking fast was it some sort of American debater from University because they are American policy debating is
Spoke is about how much you can say as much as what you say arguably more than wait there’s an episode of Parks and Recreation where as long as they keep talking that’s something else the okay the what filibuster filibuster filibustering that’s it how the [ __ ] do you know that I’m shocked you don’t
Because you do it in conversation and I’m very good at it very good um how do you know what filibustering is most people know filibustering is babe from Parks and rck no cuz people do it in Parliament in government do you ever worry that you missed like two years of school and like
Just no one like you just missed it well I didn’t do science in school I was able to give it up at 11 [ __ ] Ireland man is C isn’t that crazy but they’ve since changed that you’re not all to give it up till you’re 15 but consequently in
Relation to this yes that’s not good I know but it begs but you an answer to your question question yes every single time anything remotely scientific comes I’m like freeze cuz I’m like oh God I didn’t I’ve never had this formally educated to me I it’s very stressful so
Where do you get up to in science learning the mommy and the daddy want a little baby that’s all I got the baby Jesus delivers him on the door yeah that’s all I got but some positive news about Irish education though because we talked about um learning
Gelgar in school um did we uh osga osga OS pretty good that was amazing Andre thank I tried but um we said that it’s not it’s no longer compulsory but we got a message from Jill who said who said she loves this week’s episode um Jill and has message
With one small correction okay careful um Goa is still very much compulsory subject in primary and secondary school and it’s one of three core exam subjects as Le insert maths Irish and English gr more gr more big love but I thought it was I thought it was only compulsory till the
Juniors right now um what I I don’t this is I I will I will I will fact check that but that’s what what Jill said on on the message J thank you so much for being brave enough to write in with the correction gur of marus Jill but I’m not
Sure G of marus nisum I don’t know nisum interesting I think it’s nice if it’s I mean still comp I hope it is I hope it is but I also Tsum I hope but also I think um oh yes it is um leaving certificate Irish curriculum the leaving certificate Irish curriculum is divided
Into two main areas language and literature for Irish language fair enough it’s compulsory uh well that’s great well then to Brum I’m sorry to Brum to Brum yeah to Bron tonum Andrew um just checkon they changed the science thing to 15 now did Katherine say CU that feels also very pressing yeah know
That does seem like a bigger issue should be science to Junior St I re science surely why do they not have it as like I think it’s 16 and once asked me what I thought the speed of light was and I was like I don’t know pretty fast like like 100 miles hour
She apparently that’s a stupid answer is it like a million light years it’s like don’t know either wait what’s E defin faster than 100 miles an hour that’s relativity isn’t it yeah I thought it was gravity no that’s relativity all right energy equals mass times the constant squared yeah all
Right that’s right but wait how fast is the speed of light then it’s faster than 100 miles an hour how fast is it Andrew Andrew we’re going to have loads of science questions for you now it is faster speed of light is um it’s faster than sound 200 299,792,458
M/s it is faster than I think I was closer I closer oh no 1,00% what I will say is it’s freezing in here today I have my coach on I have my scarf on and I’m freezing um I’ve just got a t-shirt on but we’ve got we’re we’re if you’re
Listening to this we’re at that point in British weather now I don’t know when you’re listening to this but we when it occurred is we’ve just had that faux spring you know when you have the stealth spring where you’re like oh my God weather’s getting nice it’s all warm
Again I’m going to wear a lighter jacket and then after two weeks of that when my freaking daffs are up here comes the bloody daffodils that sounded so filming when my [ __ ] deaths are up you know soorry you’re telling me I can’t abbreviate a words I’m sorry Catherine
I’m clean comic now I’m a clean comic now girly whes girly whes the girly whes you didn’t call Rob girly whes later in this episode no Robbie wow oh sorry our guest today is Rob Orton yeah um but now it has become like torrential rain and horrible cold
Again and I feel Li to insane it was horrid it was raining from from the moment I woke up to the moment I got home and I mean actually that was the same for everyone we were same different for me it was different for me it was
Different from the moment I woke up to the moment I like yeah it rained all day man it was insane though cuz usually there are like brief reprieves where you can like run to the shop or like go outside for a cigarette oh my God only
You would be like in my garden it rained all day like no but every it was in it was like City Wide sort of I wish I wish you could see how much that made sense in my head that it was just me experien
Ing it like it just like I when I’m in South London I cannot fathom that North London’s still happening like it’s very Truman Show in my mind your whole life’s Truman Show in your mind but like almost like the set is all around so if I go somewhere it’s like oh they’ve just
Woken up you’re wild I know I’m not wild I’m not a well woman to live but I was so wet all of yesterday and there was a woman on the bus yeah and I felt so bad for her because she had wet shoe smell and you know when it happens like she’s
Clearly just stepped in the puddle first thing she looked like she’d had a day like a real day and I was on the bus like quite late at night coming back from a gig and I was like oh she’s had a really long one I think she Ste
Yeah but like in her shoes and she clearly stepped in the puddle I had a hor story for her at like 6:00 a.m. and just couldn’t dry all day and oh I just wanted to give her the biggest cuddle I wanted her that cloth no I want no I
Would have got close she needed it I wanted her to have a hot water body I really hope she had someone nice to go home to gosh I know wet shoe smell that’s horrid it’s the worst feeling what’s the worst part of your body to have
Wet it’s got to be feet it’s got to be feet I’m thinking feet as well Feet’s bad the only other one that’s bad is if you sit on something wet I think bum cuz it’s like where’s a what’s going on yeah you know what I mean but you know when
Okay natural the bum is actually really disgusting I don’t want a wet bum it’s very unnatural it’s just not like your instinct is like always then like oh what have I not wiped like that’s like not great how do we not think of wet back ass first as being the worst place
To have wet obviously just to be clear I do not want a wet crack cuz if you do have a wet crack G or you’re having a lovely time oh come on not if it’s that wet does rming make it wet wet no a little bit but not fully Andrew thank you for
Answering that so honestly no no no no not wet wet not wet wet have you heard the Tik Tok sound it’s like this my hair a little bit wet and this my hair wet wet no no we’re on older algorithms than you Andre mine’s all cleaning fair
Enough they really do get to know us very quickly don’t they yeah tell sorry I want to hear that but I also want to talk about cleaning yeah um you on the scrub D daddy algorithm yeah obviously I have Scrub Daddy I want one so bad I
Want one so bad it’s a sponge with a smiley face on it yeah do you think I wasn’t bought that by everyone W Christmas of the Year came out my mother’s also bought me rainbow sponges um like for the queer who loves to clean genuinely the two things she knows about
Me machine washable sponges um there’s like like I’ve got the the magic white stuff I’ve got all that stuff what’s Magic white stuff you just pick off this bit of a a little um spongy guy yeah and you wipe your whites like counters and is perfectly white nothing to worry
About perfect oh I want that too works in your trainers as well nice very nice um right I have something to tell you Emma black came to my house I saw Emma black on the chep she came to my house and for anyone new here Emma black is uh my childhood best
Friend that now works for Catherine I met her lovely boyfriend do work for me how much do you love Sam oh my God he’s so nice the nicest guy he’s so nice andish I loved him and also Ellen loved Emma black it was so cute wait Ellen met
Emma black yeah she responded highly like to like to the perfectionist like tall powerful woman obviously ell was like please you um Sunday I saw Emma literally two days ago she did not mention this I mean I ran into her on the tube and she had two brownies and
One of them was for Sam and one of them was for her but me and seil somehow managed to tricker into giving us one of the brownies we were literally like going to do a gig and we ran I was like oh my God it’s Emma black it’s Emma black and then
She’s like I’ve got the best Brown is my bag and I went you can’t say that without like sharing you are such a piece of trash thank you again Emma black I love you so a trash bag you didn’t where were they from I don’t know somewhere in her office you are the
Worst I love Emma black so much but she didn’t mention that you she came to your house she delivered what she had created she delivered to you yeah oh my well actually Sam would like it noted that he delivered yeah of course Sam did so he drove her in the cushions that she’d
Made for my um so Ellen Found A Chesterfield on uh free cycle yeah yeah yeah and the only thing was wrong with it was that the cushions were like very worn and Emma took the cushion she picked one up for me at the Tottenham Court Road we met I love her
And she got new foam got new leather and replaced it and they look amazing let me show you I’m sure I have a photo she’s incredible it looks so good what a talent and then Ellen showed her because obviously Ellen was impressed by her work Ellen then showed her her DIY
Skills around the house oh Emma black loves DIY was she really happy oh yeah they were asking each other questions Sam and I were like yeah just put the boyfriends in the corner honestly I was crazy I amum can’t actually this is amazing I can’t I love you and Emma
Black becoming friends is one of the sweetest and weirdest things cuz like because for years in this podcast loads and comments you got you but you’re the same person yeah like do you remember the first I wouldn’t never given you my [ __ ] Roundy do you remember the first
Time I came around your flat like as far as like not like the house sh that you were in before that years ago like the flat and it was just you and I was like oh my God it’s Emma Black’s room it was terrifying to the point where like I I
Remember thinking saying I remember thinking how weird it was that someone would have hand cream on their desk I was like oh you have hand cream in like the bathroom or like in your bag but that’s when you think to use it when you sat at your dad there we go but I
Remember thinking oh Emma Black’s got it and I was like oh she’s got this really random like scented hand cream I was like what the [ __ ] is this Katherine had the exact same brand on her desk in the exact same placement on the desk and it
Freaked me the [ __ ] out I can’t find the pictures of the sofa but I will take one for you send them to me okay but also um what I did find is just um a photo of my muscles from because I’ve been lifting weights do you want to see my muscles
Instead yes but is the chest field all set up can I come sit on it shut the [ __ ] up isn’t that good I just lifted weights just there just m in the can I see nice not bad thanks guys you’re a strong [ __ ] girl yeah everyone’s
Always surprised by it I’m I am much stronger than I appear do you want to arm wrestle no oh my god let’s wait we should do it I we should we have to I don’t think I do want to I don’t wish I don’t wish to now now I’m stressed oh
Please please no oh God please please please for my birthday you w’t for buy anything for my birthday oh no no actually you must no cuz it’s March 25th and um and um are we are we arriving in Australia all alone I’ll be in Australia
My gift to you is that um I’ll hang out with you in Australia that’s such a sad gift do you want it okay well you have to be on mic while we do this yeah I’m on mic um right is it best of three or
Just of one just of one and you’re going to beat me it’s going to be embarrassing and no no no cuz I’ve never I’ve never left it a wait yeah but you just seem more stubborn than me I mean more aggressive yeah okay are we going to
Insist on eye contact no do you want to do a blinking challenge as well as um okay so I don’t even want to do this just arm wrestle yeah okay and remember this is for feminism so neither of us can go ow or or it hurs cuz we have to
Like show that we don’t give a [ __ ] okay okay for feminism Andrew count us down we go on we go on zero no I’m not that’s my that’s my natural power Z that’s my natural power zero will be the word go okay yeah 3 two one go we both went on
Three we both went on Oh oh my god I’ve got a spot on my arm oh my god I’ve got a spot oh Catherine for the list benefit Catherine is really winning this oh there’s a lot of straining and Catherine’s won it Catherine has won it wow I needed that today wow I needed
That I’m warm all of a sudden I took her power I think I’m as loud as she is now oh are my boobs growing oh my God I feel amazing that’s hideous oh can I wash my hands yeah thanks back in a sec no I’ll take some
Hands then that was incredible wow that was so fun also it was sad how much we both wanted it congratul sorry just hand sanitized so much congratulations wow you really put up a f i you were stronger than I thought I tried so hard woo I went so red there’s a point in
Which I was like so red I could feel I could see myself turning a different color do you want to see a replay yeah whoa you know what good friends do arm wrestle we must remember that that was sick man did you arm wrestle a lot of
School it feels like you had experience no but I’ve arm wrestled on a lot of nights out because gay nice wait is that a thing yeah people are always arm wrestling on gay I said it’s inexplicable and then for what like to pick up the tab or no to be like
Somebody will be like oh yeah I’ve been lifting weights and somebody else were like oh yeah like same and then suddenly it’s like well let’s just and then suddenly it’s like well let’s see who’s girlfriend and then it’s like it’s a whole thing in my head I’m not picturing
Like the lesbians that you hang out with I’m picturing loads of Twinks in like a musical theater bar going come on let’s do it well weirdly it’s it’s often the F who are the surprising winners because they like torched themselves at you know Gym classes etc etc and um and there’s
Only so much um that was a Pilates arm you better believe leave it baby what was that compliment that your platus instructor gave you like a couple months ago and you lost your mind that I was incredibly efficient in movement that’s it your body is incredibly efficient today I wasn’t
Wasting energy I was using my body efficiently you’re fine why are you acting like you’ve I’ve broken your wrist just checking I don’t have any permanent injuries wow that was intense I feel invigorated I think I should start my mornings like that yeah just what arm wrestling your girlfriend wake
Up arm wrestle let’s go I I think I have to win to feel like good but like yeah that was that you do look alive you you I feel like I just had a bump or something I’m like woo do you feel like this episode might be the weirdest
Episode as far as like ups and downs go because just for context we actually already recorded Our Guest like an hour ago we recorded Our Guest an hour ago and usually we do it in the order you hear it but today it just worked out
Better to do it this way and then we were like so we did our guest and oh my God we love roboton so much and we on such different wavelengths to him it is the the vi was way more Zen in that half he came in like the zenist man of all
Time yeah he’s like a Buddhist and we are like well us and so well at one point we both were asking questions I can’t remember some of the ones that you said I think favorite whale favorite whale and I went what’s your favorite aisle in the supermarket like you’ll hear it you’ll
Hear it it’s a good interview Rob’s a very considered man as well so like he’d ask him a question and he’ just like take a moment’s silence to genuinely weigh up the answer neither of you could deal with those silences can’t just say something Jesus you be
Like what’s the whale and he go let me think and You’ be like what’s your favorite island in the supermarket and i’ just be listing whale types are we wild are we mad no I just think we can’t be if if it’s silent then there’s a
Chance the voice in my head will start telling people don’t like me so I’ve got to fill it really quickly I hear that I really hear that oh my God you guys I can’t wait to go home and tell Ellen that I beat H in you’ve got footage of
It do you want the footage to tell everyone I kind of but I wish i’ put makeup onday let’s clip it up Andrew I wish I’d put makeup on today that would have been such a good do you want to recreate it in full Glam that be I actually really write
That down let’s do a full Glam I really would like to do a full Glam iron wrestle we could just do it in post if you want could you really no don’t full glammer could you really full Glam me in post okay Alex could probably do it yeah
Yeah you full Glam me Alex Alex put me in full Glam could you imagine if we did an episode where we both wore like full glam makeup like eyelashes and everything if the comments on YouTube like what the [ __ ] happened what you should what you should do is you should tried you should
Go full Glam and then the guest you should have without telling him S Patel oh you wouldn’t notice you come good night sort of red caret dresses you have the lowest cut top you’ve ever worn dress dress dress oh my God I’d love to see your like boobs full of you wouldn’t
Notice actually he might he would started telling me um like nice things about my appearance recently yeah And So It Begins and mainly because I’ll be like oh like I’ve just done something new with my makeup and he’ll be like oh very pretty lady very nice oh yeah it’s really sweet
And because I was depressed um a couple of weeks ago like super depressed and he tucked me in a what are you okay I was like can you Tu me in at night are you all right he was like come on then [ __ ] hell get in bed he was like yes
Night night it was really sweet but you sound very unwell are you all right I’m fine now got the sad lamp back Out full blast gosh turns off every 30 minutes I’ve got a timer and I’m like [ __ ] back out my eyeball just you in well not not like properly Francis spoke
To him about it being like what was the tucking in like did you tuck in her little toies and stuff and he was like no no like it was more like a Patty on the head and when did you say he started looking into buying next day was it oh
My God no do this beautiful we’re doing really well as housemates at the moment yeah I’ve stopped comenting like everyone’s thriving we are we are you stopped commenting on um the potato waffle with American Cheese Slices on it for every meal you mustn’t comment on your housemate’s food I do that’s quite
I know I know but it’s the no be com like he’s alen can I just say this you can com I’m not a chef I’m not a chef but my house but that’s time I came to your house and you let me cook the entire
Meal for for us I have no memory of that no memory of you cooking okay honestly if I cooked for you would you eat it there we go so what’s the [ __ ] point then what’s the [ __ ] point you could order in for me I have I never ordered
In for you at mine for sure we’ve done we’ve done we’ve sat there and eat pizza and stuff let’s do that again soon I’d love to do a d come over I’d actually really like to we’ve got so little time left before we get to Melbourne want do it in
Melbourne yeah you know that I’m not going to stay in a hotel yes so I could come to your M SP on your no I’m sorry I haven’t burst it I’m just like touching it cuz I’ve just like it’s just really weird that I’ve got Air BnB I thought they
Organized it for you yeah yeah yeah but I’m going to take an Airbnb okay like because I think Hotel living might go a bit crazy I’m worried about that too so I’m excited to come to yours right for sleepovers it’ be nice and it’s going to
Be me and Olga okay I’ll come and get takeway is so lovely yes what’s Australian takeaway like oh the same yeah what a silly thing to say what um she’ll be on our guest oh all right Andrew hang on she she’s she’s about to tell her something oh sorry
Helen just the way no Andrew you’re forgiven I cannot believe you would interrupt Helen in an anecdote when she hadn’t even finished it yet imagine doing that to a person I simply can’t he he cooks the same meal but like he’s having Waffles chicken and broccoli
Those are all delicious and good for you no no all great and we have an air fryer we’ve got a toaster and we have an oven and a microwave so we’s got so many options of how to cook things now I wear the waffles the only option is the
Toaster right as far as I don’t know about the air fryer nothing else can go there waffles are amazing on the air fryer but he does everything in the air fryer one by one why not put them all at the same time so the chicken goes in the
Air don’t cuz I’m commenting if I say that okay so chicken goes in the air fryer finishes cooking he takes it out and that goes on the plate then go in the waffles is they cook for mm but I’m commenting so you can’t say it then the
Waffles come out and they go on the plate straight on with American cheese now sometimes he panics he doesn’t put the American cheese slice on immediately and it doesn’t melt into the waffle the way he wants just put it back in the air fryer and then then in goes broccoli to
The air fryer and then that gets closed and then that cooks so by the time by by the time he’s sitting down and eating it in front of um the celebrity Yorkshire or house um he everything is cold apart from the broccoli why because he’s a
Mor it just feels like and like I said a couple times like hey don’t don’t message him don’t CU then he’ll know we talking about him I have to Catherine please Catherine please Catherine please to intervene Catherine please don’t do that sorry can you tell her not Andrew
Can you tell her not to do it I have to Buddy have Choice let’s bring on our guest it’s Rob Walter Vroom vroom beep beep [ __ ] we’re going on tour trusty Hogs are going on the road Road Hogs is coming to you provided that you live very specifically in Manchester Brighton Dublin Bristol Leicester or London so get your tickets and we’ll see you there trusty hog.com is it vroom vroom beep beep
[ __ ] I will not apologize bonsa good ey and welcome to trusty hogs in Australia um we’re going to be Bush pigs I don’t know I’m trying to think of an Australian version of trusty Hogs I think what we need to say is we’re going on tour both of us to austr Australia
We’ll both be playing I’ll be playing Melbourne and Sydney you’ll be playing melbour and Sydney and Brisbane and Perth fabulous I will be in Melbourne I’ll be at the Western 3 at the international Comedy Festival you can buy tickets for my show now and at Sydney I’ll be at the factory theater
And you can buy tickets for my show now and in Melbourne I’ll be at the Greek which I have looked on Google Maps and it is very close to Catherine’s venue isn’t that so cute we’re super close and then no I think you’ll be picking me up
Oh I think I need to check that um but come pick us up come pick us up come pick us up um Sydney I’ll be at the factory theater with Catherine and that’s super close to the ice cream place um Brisbane I’ll be at Powerhouse and in Perth can a Powerhouse be inside
Of a Powerhouse she will be I’ll be bloody there and at Perth I’ll be the Perth Comedy Festival uh for the Regal Theater gor and we’re also bringing trusty hogs live to Australia Melbourne and Sydney [ __ ] it’s on sale I’ve never said [ __ ] before in my life it
Felt really wrong it felt really weird I said it on [ __ ] get your tickets no that’s hideous well anyway see you there Australia Aussie Aussie Aussie no we’ve been over this hoggy hoggy hoggy yeah yeah oh we both got it wrong see you There please welcome to the podcast robot everybody how are okay Helen what have we talked about touching just giving him a little tickle what do we get we get consent can I can I give you a tickle yeah yeah consent he’s not no reacing I’m actively con I wouldn’t call
It enthusiastic that’s weird is it you know sometimes uh when you obviously when you’re a child or whatever you get tickled you’re like pissing yourself yeah you’re saying things like stop yeah and then I didn’t say stop then but I wasn’t laughing oh yeah no you didn’t
Seem to be having a good time no but maybe think you think that’s I don’t well that’s a good point I don’t know if you know what it’s weird it’s weird I think I think it’s something something to do with uh you know maybe if you’re looking at
Like a viral video on Instagram or something and it’s meant to be hilarious when you’re just not in the mood oh and your face is just blank but it is good maybe yeah I’m absolutely creasing in inside yeah but no I’m not going to start tickling anyone I’m very tick for
The best man I for the best Yeah well yeah if I may yeah yeah yeah okay great yeah it’s a lost art form tickling it’s a truly lost art form imagine if that was your act Here Comes Mrs tickles I think you just go around like each audience member tickling them I
Don’t like that that doesn’t feel right I love it I think tickling is for creeps I’m sorry there I said it I think it’s for creeps just like get your hands out of there stop that out of where out of anywh it’s not like you’ve not been
Invited get out get off like bottom of the fee under the arm it’s like really for creeps if you ask me and I don’t think men should be doing it I don’t think it’s a good look I know all the audience have to take their shoes off when they come in
No that’s worse for us than them that’s horrific I actually would like to give that a go just it’s always good to have different career options like you know um Mr meane no he’s a comedian who’s I don’t like where this is going we know Mr mean I I don’t know
Him but I can guess his act is he can like yeah but he can like do anything with farting like anything he can do songs he can do it in different positions he can blow out candles he can what else can he do Andrew it’s incredible blow up
Balloons I don’t want to entertain this good yeah good but like was Rob just just for context for The Listener the none of these are like your act Mr mean and Mr Ticket I can’t I’m not going to do that no I I’ve uh I didn’t know I’ve never
Heard of Mr mean is it on Instagram he’s everywhere I think he went on Brit got on Instagram he went on br’s Got Talent Britain’s Got Talent yeah Britain’s Got Talent it has it has you’re dead right what a positive Spin and like just like working on that
Just like doing work in progresses and it not going well and you’re like come on you’ve got to try on what’s your message what you want the Arc of the show how do you want people feel how do you want people to feel when they leave disgusted yet excited that’s what
I’m always I wonder if they do like trial and error of like food to eat and everything like that they must do oh for sure you have to research guess do you play up to your allergies in that scenario you asking me on Mr mean well I
Don’t know who maybe it feels like he’s your second life not me I your secret family if you were Mr mether I’m not saying you are but if you were on the side are you eating things you’re allergic to cuz it’ll give you a gassy tum yeah I think so
Yeah you got a big show coming up what’s your for live of the Apollo you’re you’re hitting up the dairy before that if you’re miss a me is it Dairy is that where you’re going for sure I for me it’s Dairy and bread like if I have a Domino’s Pizza good luck
Going in my room you know you have a Domino’s Pizza so often I know yeah that’s what good luck going in my room yeah yeah I don’t know if Mr me he must like get sponsored by people in all sorts do you reckon I’ve never heard of
Him so I don’t know that he is getting sponsorship deals rob you never heard of him no so where did this conversation come from obviously me you thought Catherine brought up Mr mean rob you could have this level of difficulty following us the whole podcast cuz it’s we speak
Fast no I think I’m all right I’m up to speed good I have a question then what’s your curl regime curl yeah um you get in the shower what is it babis is it really babis is it no shut the [ __ ] up I would be so
Enchanted if you were like it’s a babish curing one I’ve seen that that’s that’s the name of a thing right yeah yeah you nailed it my guy you nailed it um I would be so happy if you got up each morning and girl wanted your it’s also
Such an old reference did you do you have sisters yeah yeah yeah it feels like people people were doing in like the ’90s that one or that um photo that went kind a viral of that um lady was like looking like she was having a nightmare time in the advert did you see
That what advert this no no it’s on the tube and um there’s a lady just with like a really straight face and it’s like a ah col it we will not cut it wait cut the hair wait a second so you getting the shower what are you using nothing you use
Shampoo no really yeah I do sometimes but I’m my hair’s all falling out in in the so much hair dude in the pandemic my um hairs on the top of my head started social distancing from each other oh my gosh is’s that stressful uh is what stressful like
Losing your hair yeah yeah it must be weird not to recognize it’s weird cuz it’s so gradual you’ve got so much can I I honestly would not think of you as someone who yeah but if one of somebody said to us like yeah you’ve got loads of
Hair but we were losing is on the top we would be like freaking out yeah for sure yeah it’s full on it’s a dark area um my cousin Works in hair replacement like in not would you get a transplant what’s his name Mr her rep her name her medical and a woman lady
Follicles let’s go my name is um Bower Natasha Bower I thought it was Bower b b b b Natasha B Natasha B and she work who’s that your cousin yeah my cousin right and you’d love her and she could help you get your hair back if you
Wanted it she like okay you letting it go yeah your face says you’re losing your hair young but your Vibe says it’s actually remarkable you’ve kept your hair this long why CU do I seem quite worried no you seem like 90 but you know what it’s weird that
Isn’t it because I feel I was thinking about that the other day I was like my body’s left my spirit behind you’re going to have to explore that a little bit more I do need more I I just feel like um I am 15 I feel like people think like no
21 maybe no you’re you’re a little do you really yeah yeah yeah yeah and I just like I think this is me now I think my body’s going to keep aging and then I’ll just be like just just a 15y old guy in a really old body maybe maybe I’m
Just trying to sound interesting no I got stuck at four like did you yeah yeah 100% like I still need like the comfort of being for and I don’t like if I don’t understand something I feel like a child like I’ve talked about in therapy before
Like if I feel like I can’t say what I want to say or explain it I get very like but I like and it’s very four-year-old I’ve never been to therapy that is not that surprising [Laughter] not you specific Rob if I may but often the male comedians and indeed British
Men they don’t seem like they have been or lead with therapy energy but would you like to I don’t know I think it I think I would no I think I think I’m actually I come across as kind of a bit all over the place but um I’m actually quite
Settled yeah I think you seem quite Zen yeah yeah I think I’m quite Zen I was looking through my I was looking through my notes folder earlier and I was like might read some of that out on the podcast well yeah but it was just some
Stuff that I was thinking I was let’s see I always want to see people’s notes folders I’m obsessed with this is an idea I feel like also is your background Northern Lights on your phone is the background picture on your phone yes it is you looked so anguished like what yeah is
That yeah did you see where did you see them Iceland I love Iceland so much it’s the best holiday I’ve ever been on oh yeah did you have a good time amazing oh my go absolutely loved it and where’ you go we went to ruic nice anywhere else uh we
Did like the uh tour like the Golden Circle thing yeah but then we got off the bus at OLX fig and stayed there and went and see what went and saw whales yes we we saw some whales yeah did you did you see workers uh yeah is amazing they do the rain blow
Did you see that yeah oh my God wait the rain Blog the rainblow where like they and the Sun comes through it and it makes the rainbow the most incredible magical yeah it’s epic aren’t they the most amazing creatures unbelievable but I’ve done a thing about that like um you
Call it whale watching but for me it’s more like whale seeing it’s quite quick isn’t it it’s like it was there it’s like you know you hear them and then it the the uh the captain of the ship or whatever was going okay everybody I’m going to be
Telling you at the uh what what time of the clock the whales are at and they’re like okay 1:00 and you’re at 5:00 yeah so you got to run around the boat and like you could you by the time you got run there it’s gone whale seeing yeah
Whale seeing like I used to go Badger watching when there was a kid of course you did can I just be in Bridlington in my granny and grandpa’s quarry brington on Co Yorkshire Rosie Jones is from there really yeah go on so sorry I Badger watching yeah no so they they had
Uh they had a farm and it had access to a quarry and uh there was loads of Badges and that was that was watching like you could go you get down there you set up they’re there you watching you have a picnic yeah yeah yeah yeah
Where’s wh watch and it’s like come on I’ll be honest when I was in Iceland it’s the first time I got to whale watch because a pod swam with us for quite a while so we really got to watch them how much did you have to pay for that well
It was a nice trip from no no I’m I mean that was a joke that didn’t land but the um it’s like watching two aliens from different planets trying to communicate and it’s so weird because you’ve done the same trip you like the same things and you cannot get on the
Same wavelength I want to keep watching this keep going keep going this is honestly it is it’s like watching a 2-year-old speaking to an 18-year-old it’s quite funny because I you seemed quite old and you were like yeah I feel 15 and I was like oh no this is going to be
Hard so um Badgers no I want to go back to so there was a there was a part of whales swimming along with boat oras came with us amazing no that’s killer whales isn’t it yeah no I didn’t see them it was it was um see the type of world htbs oh yeah
They’re also amazing did you see them we did see them but you saw oras yeah oh man they were that’s why we went to I that’s why we specifically went to Alex fers because they are there at that time of year and my girlfriend’s obsessed
With whales and I was always a bit like what’s the deal with Wales and then we went to Iceland we saw them and I was honestly moved yeah no I’m killer whales are like my they’re my favorite probably so smart they’re like so smart unbelievably smart unbelievably smart aesthetically smart I
Think they were like trained to like know more about them as well CU like that big documentary Blackfish and like Killa whales like just that what’s it called free Willie like we just feel like we know more you know that wasn’t a documentary right free Willie it’s close
Enough it’s a real whale it’s a real whale how much you reckon the insurance wants for that kid to stand under that whale like that’s got to be bloody High doesn’t it it was the ’90s it’s fine everything’s chill in the ’90s it’s fine what’s your favorite animal to watch
I’ll come to you afterwards Catherine favorite animal to watch might come to Catherine first I’ll think about that you take your time a ponder it is um orcas for me definitely but you know what I’m still stuck on I don’t want to distract Rob I
Don’t want to give you too much to think about at the same time but I was desperate to know it was in your notes section oh yeah oh yeah all right we’ll come back to the animal you know what it depends why are though done it with
Um uh what animal you you know I mean dogs are pretty good aren’t they oh god I love dogs do you have one no I’d like one though me too I got I was on the tube right and and I wrote this down it’s obviously going to go nowhere and
I’ll delete it immediately but um there was I got a line in my show of like um at the end is I talk about um uh the as the pool of people who are younger than me becomes deeper the pool of people who are older than me becomes
More shallow right yeah yeah yeah and so I’m think I’m getting older and like I mean I’m going to be 49 next year so it’s just like what huh how old are you going to be next year 49 you’re lying shut the [ __ ] up no
You’re not that’s a lie that’s a lie I want to see a driver’s license that’s a lie anyway you’re that’s li no you don’t don’t believe him he’s not he’s not he’s lying this thing right it says young people young people have this Li why are you lying I Lov that I’m
Going to be thck young people have this I’ve got it’s not it’s not even a fully form thought but young people have this feeling of it’s in front of me so they look at older people and be like it’s in front of me and it’s behind you you know
What I mean like I do I do they’re like you’ve had your turn and it’s just like [ __ ] [ __ ] it’s devastating yeah age Aging in general is upsetting yeah but I’m always 48 that’s a lot look back on Bleak one let’s try and find something a bit
Better and you’re sort of getting out your phone thinking I should note that now no no I think he’s looking for a different note no I’m just trying to think through the process of being on the tube seeing I presume a sort of sned little child looking at you like get bam
Yeah and then is it the tube in the North and then you were like is that Yorkshire accent no it was honestly I don’t know what accent I panicked I like looking at gorillas what does that note say what does that note say this is it says this
Is for that feeling when you don’t really need anything from the supermarket but you’re going because you know you want something and they’ve got something in there that could itch that scratch you’ve got a piece missing and it’s on the Shelf somewhere you just got to find it I’ve never found that missing
Piece it is a pastry tell yes it’s not always a pastry for me sometimes it’s the pre-made coronation chicken packets and I just want a coronation chicken sandwich filling box with the spoon yeah like it’s so peish for me PE peand Danish and then you’re getting
You’re like you want and then you get that and then you feel okay then I have two bites of it and then that’s enough yeah but it’s a thing isn’t it but I still eat the whole thing I feel sick can I ask you a personal question yeah
What’s your favorite aisle in the supermarket oh that’s a great section liol is you know one of my favorite places in the country is good yeah yeah I I saw was listening to this and you say you you were running around Victoria Park yeah I live near there do you ever
Go to little no it’s good yeah I only just got there I mean I moved in November but I really don’t feel like I know the area at all so maybe I should check out the little little on Big Time okay section there well it’s cheap it’s
Not as cheap as it was yeah but pretty cheap it’s it’s cheap and um it’s well it’s you know obviously if you go in morning it’s well stocked if I see you there yeah should I say hello or should I like assume that’s private time and there’s no offensive answer
Here by the way I personally don’t wish to be said hello to if we didn’t plan to meet really well I often think it’s strange that people bound over to you with enthusiasm as if you’d organized an event when you didn’t and I’m obviously a different person on the days I plan to
See someone and the ones I didn’t right yeah so if you done what the [ __ ] if we didn’t plan you’re not Catherine anymore thank you em em is nodding if we didn’t plan to meet keep walking even me I’d prefer it I’m not ready do you know what I’m saying yeah I
Mean I’ve seen I’ve seen people that I know on the tube have you done that and you just don’t yeah yeah yeah but that’s like we both see each other but we do it at different times but we both do the oh maybe that happened to me as well then
Cuz I’m I’m thinking oh I just ignored them but no they’d have done it to me as oh man I think sometimes you both ignore each other I once had a really obvious one me and a comedian were on a train up to mfield together and I was already on
It and then he got on and was like I was on a table and then he was on chairs facing that way so we were basically like facing each other across diagonal he clearly saw me I clearly saw him but we just didn’t register each other in
Quotation marks and then 20 minutes out Max 30 he went Helen bow you [ __ ] Legend and obviously I could have just played it and I was like I bloody knew you saw me but I genuinely respect that he did a double take I you’re over performing it
What what a way to find out you are manageable in 20 minute burth I know this man went it’s 20 minutes wait am I saying hello in the pastry section or no yeah I think so definitely well I don’t know it’s up to you but no I think I
Think favorite what’s your um favorite island supermarket the cheese do yeah yogurt and dairy yogurt and dairy that’s not my favorite really yeah what do you like quisps oh can I can I also say can I also say I really like the squash aisle yeah me too like different like
Squashes and drinks because there’s always a new squash out like there’s something amazing about the time we’re living in Britain I do agree and I love the new peach Robinson’s barley one cannot get I don’t like the peach and raspberry don’t talk to me about it not
Talking to about Peach and raspberry no one said Peach and raspberry have you tried the Sainsbury’s own brand white grape and Peach no but I will you’ll be Charmed okay all right then and we’re living in the Golden Age of squash I do agree golden age I do agree with that
Everything just comes as double strength and standard at this point almost it’s like wild out there it’s really the variety yeah is incredible I do agree and like I think it’s cuz the price of juice it’s out of this world these days pear have you had the pear don’t pear squash
But squash is accessible for people the flavor combination we’ve only just scratched the surface is it cheap you can get 59 p for one that will last you a month put it beside the juice and you’ll be laughing yeah W you’ll get rock hard son I’ll
Tell you that if you realize the price that you’re paying for juice you”ll been wasting your life also can say this juice it’s not always actually fruit in there it’s from concentrate I’m just very passionate about drinks at the moment cuz i’ I’m I’m I drink healthy
Now what’ you mean I bought a lemon so what I bought a lemon I put lemon in my what are you having lemon and water like hot water cold water no wait for it fizzy from soda streamy you got Soda Stream honey honey honey you cover I got everything I got everything
You want something in the kitchen I got it you got Rob what’s happening you got an air fryer and you got I got an air fryer I got a s shrim I got a microwave you things no I don’t have a so rice cooker toaster slow cooker yeah so far I have
All of these things yeah of course you sod stream yes um ice muffin tins banana loaf tin um different bits of Crockery from dead elderly aunts um okay it’s getting sad now C Coler yeah everyone has those B mixing bowl uhuh what’ you prefer C or colander Coler thank you for
Asking disagree because you can use a Civ as a calendar but you can’t use a calendar as a save yes you can if you’re really easy guy show what’s your favorite bit of kitchen equipment uh I’m sorry I’m losing my mind are you a good cook yeah I’m I used
To work in a restaurant that was my first uh job so uh yeah I I was in charge of uh the crab cakes I was called the crab cake kid no nice ckk it’s the best nickname I’ve ever read where is this restaurant what else are they serving old are you York okay
In yor was I was still at school was 16 okay that explains the kid and uh it was just it was just epic it sounds because I mean I’ve got a bit in my show ball talking about come on let’s hear it I mean it’s two pages long but
But but BAS basically at your natural Tempo you’re right we don’t have time for that I know yeah it’s a three-hour special yeah the um it was uh I loved it and uh it was it was so great like uh just I don’t know I felt
Like I had I felt like cuz I love process and I love like uh when I’ve got something in front of me that I know what I’m doing you know so I had a big bowl and mix get it b b them you know get them all really no one all the other
Chefs didn’t give a tossa AIT but I was like right come on I’m going to try and get get him good and uh so you boil them then flour them egg and milk them bread them bread them again egg and mil you know get this a thick skin of breadcrumb
Whatever deep and then put them in like a ring and press them down and uh I got them looking uh sounds good really smart dressed in there full body breadcrumb [Laughter] onesies that sounds honestly delicious I’m hungry now no but the best thing you know it’s like that thing when you get
Your first job and like if you get a if if someone gives you a bit of props like I remember one of the chefs was coming up from the wine bar downstairs and someone had ordered the crab cakes and uh for some reason he was bringing the leftovers upstairs and he just started
Eating someone else’s food that they’ve left that’s a compliment and he he he was eating the uh bit of crab cake that was left and he was like oh these are really nice keep up the good work and it was like yes that’s wicked that’s a real
Chef that’s wh me the tea tow for the past two years excuse me what the US to wet the ends of the tea toils and whip each other with them like have you ever worked in the kitchen no yeah have you yeah I mean like they seem like violent
Hostile spaces yeah there’s a lot of drugs yeah lot of drugs a lot of contact it’s really fun did you do drugs at 14 in the kitchen no I didn’t good for you 15 no 16 what happened was when did you start doing drugs in the kitchen well
This guy one of the um Chef said to me um did you just smoke gandra and I was like what and he went oh hold your hand up and then into my open this is just literally L from my show saying um hold your hand out and hold my hand out and
It’s my open Palm he placed a centimeter Square half block of what look like dark chocolate rap in no no it wasn’t Howen you didn’t eat it did you no and then he said uh and then he gave me three rizzler p pack of rizzlas and three
Cigarettes and was like there you go go and get stunned I like what no we went no we’re we’re at work and um so it was it was difficult but um uh he he said he said did you smoke that there’s a starter kit so he
Literally St yeah but I remember how age were you I was like 15 16 yeah but it’s different up north it’s different up north no it’s not it is it is have you been to York yes it’s different there there’s men there that jobs are just to
Take you on ghost tours and they’re wonderful and I really enjoy all of them but like it’s a different place have you done a ghost tour in York so well they kind of it’s the same person and it pretended to be different ghosts is that right so there is one where they can
Jump out at you but there is also one where it’s historically accurate ghosts of York oh really yeah yeah it’s really good I went in it with Nick ER and Cil Patel on the lad’s holiday did you yeah yeah ghost tours awesome you se you must have had loads of ghost chats can’t
Believe I asked we have I can’t believe I asked if he’d smoked the weed no well no no what happened was I I’m I’m not actually a massive stoner Strangely I am now I’ve done like six gummies have you mhm it’s not for me I sleep so well my ear hurts in the
Morning why been on one side too long wow wake up with an ear rake but very you just don’t you don’t move you just don’t move she got a heavy head but it is fun I got I took a um a couple of gummies the other night and we watched a long game
Poly I couldn’t breathe you can not have only had six Edibles because every time we’re on the show you’re like last the other night I took a couple of Edibles and it’s like it’s those are adding up now you’re right I actually have finished a bag oh my God I’m a
Drug what a way to I know I’m throwing my life away for gak can you can you get can you get addicted to Edibles I don’t think I mean if you can I haven’t been cuz like s to remind me the other day he was like oh like do you still have them
And I’m like oh my God I do I actually wrote down something in my notes that I I heard in the in one of your previous episodes that oh no um oh Helen said that I thought I’ll I deny it I deny it I thought that could be I thought I
Thought this could be a funny show title if you if you’re in the market yeah uh what the [ __ ] wrong with that white woman when you know you’re talking about the bus when you got when you got hit by a bus she did not get hit by a thank you
For remembering that cuz I got hit by a bus again Catherine no joke last night last night I was getting off the bus and I was walking down the stairs at the back and it break suddenly and my arm went through the gap of the handle Rail
And the bus and I had to yank it out so you tripped that’s not being hit by a no I I was hit it’s like that bit on curb when um the guy says about his uh dad being killed on 9/11 and he just he he
Wasn’t in the two toes he just got knocked over I think I’ve seen that episode you are that episode is the takeway D on 911 you are the episode Rob can we guess your actual age now please yeah okay 29 what 29 I only see the soul of
15 20 you think I’m 29 33 at the oldest I’m 41 [ __ ] off I am yeah no you’re not 1982 no you’re not that’s correct actually for 41 what’s the skin regimen you are you wearing something cream yeah I’m wearing sun I’m wearing sun what’s
It oh think of a sun cream brand quick so late Sunan suntan Sun L’Oreal okay so you’re not wearing sun cream gosh do you spend a lot of time indoors you look wonderful for 41 he’s the crap or maybe 41 isn’t that old and I just you know
What Leo Reich said to me after we’ve been in Melbourne together he said you’ve changed my opinion of what a 4y old is I think that’s a compliment and he also said to me he also said to me you know what you’re always dressed for rain that’s the two things I
Remember I love Leo right it’s rude but was he wrong no cuz I just wear that rain maack all the time even in Australia yeah yeah me and John kener got the same one so hopefully you know good for you rob I’d love to just for the benefit of the person I’m
Watching show off this rain jacket yes it’s nor North Face lovely uh we have here a hood with the toggles on either side in case it’s windy but it doesn’t have a ventilation pouch for the head no see i’ I’d rather that a vent pouch it’s
Got you know do you ever get like a sweaty head when you’re walking in the rain you know when the back of your head gets hot and it gets a bit sweaty under a raincoat well I thought you said you got a um Lads picture this you’re walking in
The rain you’re going uphill you need the raincoat on but it’s creating a sweat sarcophagus what sarcophagus was that right yeah pretty good what is a sarcophagus like a a puper no no it’s like a it’s like a like a sort of Egyptian coffin like in ancient egyp
Egypt slay you’ve created a sarcophagus around yourself and sweats gathering in it but you need the rain hat on and then at the back of your hood there’s a little vent panel to let air in and out have you ever seen these no but nice maybe I’m shopping at better quality
Millets than you guys are don’t think so and then sorry I’m from Hampshire that’s the first time Rob stood from himself I don’t think so I think I Know M Millet when I see one I mean this is I I was doing a gig at the exitor Phoenix the
Other day you done a gig I know there one and um I got back into the dressing room I was like where’s my jacket and I’d left it up at the top when we were doing the sound tech but I thought that I’d lost it and the thing is with these
Northface jacket jackets is that um the colors change over and over again like with every year so I don’t think you can get these anymore this is a classic I really like that I like it too and I’ve got three I’ve got other I’ve got a red
One and a maroon one but if I was in charge of North Face yeah I would just do every different color combination that you could possibly have and just like and just have shedloads of them I can’t believe you’re not in charge of Northface but you know what I did a
Video once that went viral on Facebook here we go here we no biggie okay I believe that you’re 40 now I didn’t done now but it was it was about me getting when I I did a show about hair and it was like um I grew my hair really long
Grew a massive beard for like 18 months or whatever and didn’t touch it and um I said oh like people started to you know not sit next to me on the tube and all yeah it was it was pretty bleak but f i and then I um and I thought I need
To make myself feel like a solid member of society what can I do so I was like I know what I’m going to do I’m going to get a norace jacket so I uh and then then when I put it on you know people look at me and
They go oh it’s all right he’s an [Laughter] Explorer I’m going to have to stop you there this podcast is for people to get advice on it is Rob what kind of advice do you give um can I quickly look through my notes folder yeah 100% can we hear more of your notes yeah so this was something that I wrote down
The other day and I read it again this morning I thought oh it sounds like there’s something in that um so I was I was doing my first work in progress for my new show and I was just like whoa doing it again like yeah I know it’s
Shocking not um and just thinking about like I love the sh I’m doing at the moment and then but it’s like w I’ve got to go through that pain barrier again of like trying to um I was nervous about my work in progress and in the kitchen I said to
Myself it’ll be over soon and I thought yeah it will actually it will be over yeah uh EV you know everything and I and I was like I don’t want it to be over gosh and I was like we don’t get to stay here for long it will be over and I
Won’t even get to look back on it once it is so there’s probably not too much sense in feeling nervous about it yeah I’m just pleased to be you at all so I think the advice in that for me is just like it only gets to
Be you’ve got to just like it will be over so just you know try to try to grab it in any way you can and that it’s really difficult to grab it though is it if like get any kind of grasp on life it’s just brutal because it just skims
By and you’re like okay I’m going to try and stand on this bit oh that’s gone and you like bum bum bum bum bum and it’s just that thing of like trying to feel something making it’s it’s a very Grim overextension of like oh it does get
Better like oh it it it will end my suffering everything will end but don’t you think that all the time I’m just like oh I’ve got to do this this and this this and then just like oh but at some point I’ll die and we’ll all be
Dead and no more remember nothing will matter I find that really so comforting no I do yeah I can get really get behind that and I find it really motivating yeah and um none of it matters in the grand scheme of no that’s it and things just like matching up like yeah knowing
What a Cris B is you know we can talk about a Cris B and what and and we’re there and it’s like wait what’s a crisp never happen again you you brought up the Cris crisp Isle sorry it’s the northern accent it’s not very clear sometimes Chris B Chris Isle Chris B no
You’re all right don’t worry screaming that is so true though that’s often the thing that like crashes me like I don’t I very come very rarely come back up from a a depressive mood or a depression period I normally crash through the bottom where it gets to such a point of
Like oh well not only is this bad everything’s bad we’re all going to die and then it sort of just free falls into sort of just oh well nothing matters and he everything sort of starts to fall away again but what sort of advice giver is
He Bleak Bleak oh was that the who me yeah I don’t know I I’m PR depressed now I really am I find that so keep going to you crash through the bottom it really demoralizing what do you mean I all that tells me is nothing matters which means or that I’ve already wasted
All this time or that I’m missing enjoying the brief moment we’re in and that um just be happy because I’ll be remembered as nothing nothing else matters but this is it it’s like those I feel like just emotion is everything so when you feel something that is it is it and
That’s all we’ve got because it’s like we’re skimming across this Earth in like these really temporary bodies for it and then like the only real thing is how we feel and make other people feel as well and it’s just like that’s that’s it like
I’m talking as if I know but you you can only talk about from your own perspective right and for me it’s like I always think about looking at animals and everything like that and just being like yeah they’re doing their own reality whatever and then I’m doing mine
And we’re all doing this and it’s just like we get so obviously get so mixed up in everything and you just got to it’s really difficult to take a breath and just go how you feeling you know I’m trying to check in with yourself and so what
Advice would I give is like don’t be scared of uh feeling over welmed is it we’ve never had someone give such beautiful advice without even hearing a problem cuz Katherine do you know what I feel right now love for you really mhm isn’t that nice and I feel love for and a little
Tickle feel an acute awareness of the impending death of everyone I care and love about yes but we all we all will but then we meet again in the Underworld do we yeah gosh the lake of but I think that’s another thing isn’t it like I I
Think that I’m motivated by the fact that I firmly believe that this is completely 100% it I am too I do think that’s true I’m I’m really envious of people who don’t believe that and like think about other people like um in heaven and things like that
And like I’ve had ideas about it I’ve I’d love there to be heaven like be my I go up to heaven and like my granny and Grandpa are there and they’re at the gates and like they’re holding my sign you know with my name on it like people do at
Airport and I’m like they’re going to like they’re like hey we’re going to show you around you’re going to like it I’m like oh yeah but I just I I can’t and it’s like if it it makes me um makes me not want to make the most
Of my time here so like doing what we on stage or any job it’s like I’m going to reading tonight going to do a show and then you know Southampton tomorrow and then Cardiff and then keep going and it’s just like and the thing is some of
The stuff that’s been happening at the end of my shows like people saying what the crack is what they’re going through it’s like you never know what people all you know we’re standing on stage and like there’s people in the audience who’ve got some serious stuff going on
Sure I’ve I’ve really saying that to myself every time now I’ve going give it come on 100% let’s try and give it some I like that 100% I like this I don’t know if that’s that’s not advice is it but it’s it is advice
A lot on back but it’s what I wanted to hear from the crab cake kit yeah me too cuz not to like try C wrap this up but like you gave the crab cakes 100% of yourself and you were present for them and that in many ways is the end of the
Life of the crap that’s the full cycle but you allowed that to live on well it’s it is all about being present in it and like that’s the thing about feeling and like trying to get into the moment and like I was I was behind a um lady in
Wasabi the other day right and um love she was on her phone she was on her phone and the guy was like can you put your card on there and you know trying it was and she’d got like a catsu cur whatever can you put your card on and
She was just looking at her phone and he was like excuse me and and she went oh Sor sorry I was miles away and I thought that is what phones do they get you and I thought I wherever you are I’ve been where you are you go to on your phone
It’s like it it it takes you away and it’s like that thing of like being present and obviously phone’s really important because it’s you know you’re communicating but when I see people on phones you know and there’s people always saying look up and all that [ __ ] like people are on their phones
Because other people it’s all about trying to connect is it and if other people on their phones then of course you’re going to go on your phone because that’s the best way you can connect us on the phone yeah do you not think there’s past lives I can’t we’re going
To do the problem we’re going to do the problem we’re going to do the problem Andrew I really enjoyed the that was a very beautiful diversion um so this is a problem from C Hi C you say Hi C hi c um C says um to the trusty hogs for the uh
For the past few years I’ve been experiencing some of the worst anxiety of my life oh no luckily for me has nicely con coincided with me finding your podcast wooo we can happy helping with that I I have a number of people who go I’ve had a really difficult time
With their mental health but that’s when I found you and you think oh gosh I don’t know that we’re helping propan I think you really are helping a lot of people actually shut the [ __ ] up get you’re you know you’re trying to get and I’m not going there cuz we’re about
To have lunch you want makeal bring cake [ __ ] up we should partner with better help that if they go through the surve if you enjoyed this podcast you are going to need some therapy go on um uh I’ve been experiencing some varying amounts of underlying anxiety in the background uh
Ranging from a tiny feeling of Despair or then feeling like being on the rink of Tears uh a lot of these feelings come from myself recently struggling with work I work for the NHS and experience and I’m experiencing major burnout and imposter syndrome I do not get much
Support in the hospital and often when I speak to my colleagues I made to feel very small oh no when I listen to you guys I feel relief as if I can finally breathe and can myself relax thank you guys so much for this small but wonderful pocket of calm and relief
Wouldn’t use the word calm but um relief in this stressful world oh they actually put in Brackets yes I meant calm thank you see uh my problem is I am moving to a different post in my job thank God however I am fully aware that my anxiety and confidence issues are not
Going to magically disappear overnight I’ve been speaking with a therapist about these issues and I wanted to make sure that I can can work on a good work life balance going forward uh I wanted to know if you guys ever struggle with imposter syndrome and if you do then how
Do you manage thank you so much I love you guys with all my heart kind regards see I want to help but I’m really bad at this because I’m like the most annoying person when I feel like I’m doing something that I shouldn’t be doing yeah
Or like or I feel like I’ve chanced my way into something or locked my way in why I’m I’m just I’m I’m like oh I’ve never done this before I’ve never done this before I’ve never done this before just everyone I’ve never done this before this is new to me like the first
Couple times I did acting stuff like professional acting stuff I was like I’m a comedian I’m a comedian so I wouldn’t know I wouldn’t know and it’s like oh my gosh you were raised in the AM School of drama you know to learn lines like and I
It’s just people don’t want to hear that I think they do though I agree with that um short time I was with you on set for that I feel like you bought a good energy that was just like uh people going like I don’t know it’s like you do
Lot of the heavy lifting of bringing upbeat atmosphere do you know what I mean yeah Rob I agree I also do think that like saying I am worried because I’ve never done this before I’m nervous is actually like quite a relief to people and also they know where you’re coming from they
Know why you’re behaving the way you’re behaving and also can give you information and help I actually just think it’s quite a clear way of saying I might need help with this where which I don’t know why we’re all so embarrassed to say like if you it is your first time
Or if you do feel unprepared your job is actually supposed to have things in place to support you I would say have we ever had any um I would say I constantly have imposter syndrome I’m starting so theater on the two in two weeks I’ve done I’ve done Soo theater ones before
I’ve started a new show before and I feel I’m not sleeping I’m I feel nauseous I feel teary I feel worried not exactly great places to be creative from but I yeah of course because like I think it in my case it sounds like in
Your case I want it to go well and I want to do my job well and also like people are relying on you and I don’t want to let them down I think it is a it comes from a place of caring that you do your job well and about other people but
It we are worrying about the absolute worst case scenarios like my hyper focus is on if it goes badly I never think about if it goes well and it might I guess it could your new job could go well there’s it’s worth spending at least some of the time that
You worry about the worst case scenario on what it would look like if it went well and if it’s with the NHS God we hope it goes well oh yeah we really need that no no no pressure but we do service for all of us here at trusty Hogs but I don’t ever
Do I don’t think I’ve ever done anything in comedy where I haven’t felt like how the hell here come on there’s not been a couple of things where you’re like I got this this I once did a children show called dog ate my homework on the cbbd and they
Went all you have to do is not understand and answer the question correctly because we want the kids to win and then you have to get slimed and they were like do you want to practice anything and I was like I’ve got this I’ve never felt more natural at anything
In my life than kids TV they went are you all right if we slime you and then put glitter all over you and I was like absolutely no stress you do a shower here and I was like no I went go to the hotel I’m absolutely fine oh wow no I’ve
Never had that level of comfort what about you I went back did it again loved it um I think it’s I think it’s really good to approach I mean I approach a lot of stuff with like a careful amount of caution I think and just on set like creep of care yes I
Think you just it’s it’s good I mean it just sounds like you just sounds like you care about what you do and like overconfidence is the worst thing I think because there’s been G yeah that thing where you’re saying about oh I’ve got this and then like um there was a
Thing on my um when I was learning to drive I was Absolut bricking it so much and then he the the instructor took us to an Airfield in just outside yor and I was like he went right you get behind the wheel and I was like whoa no I can’t
I can’t and he was like come on so I got behind the wheel and he was like how old were you uh 16 terrify can you drive then no 1 17 yeah and um and anyway I was driving for a bit and he was like
Right you drive us home I was like what on the road and he went yeah yeah on the road so and then I drove home I was like I can’t believe it I’m doing it and then and then I was like I’ll just park here
And he said no come on pull up to the house so I pulled up to the house and then I was absolutely buzzing after and I was really looking forward to my next driving lesson I was like oh yes and then I I the first thing I did on my
Second lesson was I just pulled out in front of a van and he had to put the emergency brakes on so that is such a massive lesson of like that’s why I refused to learn to drive I’m not doing it I’m too frightened that’s mental I was confident and I was looking forward
To it so that was such a lesson in like approach everything even like this gig tonight in ready not I’m really up for it but I’m just like go through your lines get everything in place and as well like if you’re starting a job and but there are some things don’t approach
Going on a kids TV show getting slimed with caution like you can throw yourself into some things absolutely right yeah you can maybe but I’m also I’m I would have questions about slime I’m quite a confident person maybe but I’m too scared to enough to drive but what are
We saying so you should tell people that you’re nervous and you don’t know what you’re doing I just don’t think there’s any shame in that I think it could be quite useful I don’t think there’s any shame in it I’ve just felt like sometimes I’ve become a bit repetitive
To the point where they’re like well we’ve hired you so you don’t like yeah what I what I don’t think you want to do is talk yourself out of any confidence you already have by being like I knew I’m rubbish at this but I uh which I
Think I have done in relation to Soho I’ve gone so far around the other way that I’ve made myself I feel like I can’t do it but I think Soho the you’re catching me on a great day Rob I had that I had that when I I did Soho
Recently and I was like yeah absolutely brick in it but then you get the first first one done and it’s kind of all right is that also just because so theater like it’s just terrifying because of like the atmosphere of like people can come and review and there’s
Like it’s it’s it’s there’s there’s industry there you’re being judged and like I mean I can’t even walk into that bar I don’t I went there once after my show like you’re a lot better at being in the bar than me like you’ll go there for drinks I’m Irish baby but like I
Like I think it’s more like it’s not so much the show I’m always happy doing the show and being on stage it’s the you trust your talent whereas I trust M AB but I trust that we’re gonna have the we’re going to make this next hour of
Our Lives the most fun we can have it and yes if I sacrifice a nervous man in the front row so so so to me oh wow we’re very similar women in that regard yeah I think um I don’t know I have I had a line in one of my shows that I
Wrote that was about um sorry I shouldn’t say this but I had a thing that I wrote this thing called a letter from Father Christmas so it’s was like every year I’d write a Christmas list and then one day Father Christmas wrote me his Christmas list of what he wanted
And all it was wait what the [ __ ] hey that was just an idea that was in the oh right okay so you didn’t what I was wondering whe that was like a service that you could do for your kids where Father Christmas writes you a letter you
Can pay that yeah big time yeah oh that’s so L yeah we got those yeah yeah yeah yeah I think my auntie did it yeah you could just pay Father Christmas wrote to you oh actually no I didn’t like Father Christmas when I was young I thought it was a pervert really okay
Tickly McGee let’s go sorry yeah he was going to come in my room and tickle me while I wasn’t awake [ __ ] that noise but wait so you yeah so I did that and basically he V Christmas which was just like look you can’t keep on being so nervous all
The time anxiety is not the capital of you and all that you know and I just after I was like you know what it’s every I think this is everyone is like what are we doing basically 100% what are we doing some people are just better at hiding it than
Others MH and there’s like you know that Simon setet guy who’s always on YouTube he’s he’s always saying like be the person in the room who ask the most questions like he’s always like oh I don’t understand that because then the person who doesn’t understand it but
Isn’t saying it we’ll be really thankful for you hear it I believe that yeah so you’re just like oh no I don’t I don’t get I’m always asking if I don’t like what you know like big words or stuff like that what’s your favorite animal to watch like good questions yeah favorite
Aisle at the supermarket which I’m I was thinking about that juice what your favorite AIS at superet Market what is it it is the cereal aisle slay it makes me feel really like the world full of possibilities and also very nostalgic I think it’s like the food I have the most specifically Associated
Memories with brand wise but a second shout out if I may to the library of the supermarket that is the wine aisle okay it’s quiet it’s peaceful people don’t really talk there have you noticed that it gets very hushed in the wine section I don’t think I’ve been to the wine
Aisle in years yeah it’s really Zen I think it’s because the kids don’t go in there because people are like worried about the glass they don’t want you to knock anything over yeah and everyone’s trying to posture it knowing about wine or think it’s like it’s like the I think
It’s one of the things in the shop you’re buying not out of need check we’re all just looking at the prices right yeah that’s what I mean that’s that’s what I was going to say is like you’re not really buying it out of need you’re buying it out of like a treat so
Then you want to get it right because it’s kind of expensive yeah I find it very C that’s really lovely Catherine thanks guys but you don’t go down the wine on though I don’t think so I think my wine buying is very much like bloody I don’t
Need a glass of wine and just like in the off license on the way home yeah like where I live I don’t have a supermarket isn’t like on the way back from like a bus stop or a train station I’ve got my off license so I go in there
Get that and a tofe crisp yeah a lot of histamines get very Sneezy bit ey tofy crisp have they changed a lot over the years or not really I had the day smaller that’s it no but it’s still exactly the same quality in love who’s to say they are
Thinner they’re smaller they are okay Rob you’ve been a lovely guest yeah yeah really VI turned out all right in the end I love you Rob Aon I know you were worried about the Vibes but I thought you nailed it yeah I will see you but not necessarily greet you in the little
Pastry a yeah I’m surprised we haven’t run past each other in um Victoria Park you run in there as well yeah you’re probably faster than me no don’t I doubt it very much I’m pretty so I am also always behind a sort of a lesbian who’s taller than me because it’s the only
Time in my life that I follow right that poor woman she gets two half hours a week where I just shut up and go you can take charge that’s nice it’s nice peaceful bye Rob Goodbye Oh wait wait wait see you Rob sorry sorry can you come back Rob please one when he’s
Back he’s back um could you please plug yourself oh you’re on tour and it’s I know you’re Facebook famous but maybe people could find you somewhere else very funny very funny I am on tour I’m doing a show called the robort show it’s a show all about me and I’m on tour and
You can go on Rob .co.uk uh a phenomenal standup comic by the way I’m genuinely brilliant I don’t think you’ll have seen anything like his comedy before if you’ve not seen him so you should follow the link which is Rob olson. co.uk makes sense and I’m on
Instagram thanks for that um it’s true Instagram Tik Tok we’re going to tag Rob on all our socials as we do so then you can just follow that link that would be amazing thanks for having me thanks for coming on this has been the best day of
Our Lives it’s been while because um your Vibe is so Zen that Helen has by both of us have calmed down actually I’m screaming on the internet yeah me too but I I’m having since we had SE problem I’ve been having a panic attack the entire time cuz now I’m thinking about
Anxiety okay well let’s give it up for Rob cuz he’s got to get to reading Rob what [Applause] everybody thank you so much to our executive producers who really keep this podcast going it’s the classics it’s guy Goodman it’s Simon Moos it’s Mary Fox it’s Annie toner it’s Sarah Deacon it’s
Oliver jgo and anony Conway Matthew Thomas meline Quinn and Grace O’Reilly genuinely thank you to everyone who gives us any money at all we are so grateful and you are genuinely helping us keep the podcast going and also um the snacks we get to eat now oh my God
That’s not what I meant I meant that we actually get to pay Alex and Andrew and M and that we actually get to have a cool Studio which we can’t actually necessarily afford for long but we’ll get some new and then we’ll be able to that and but the point is thank you
Thank you thank you thank you thank you for supporting the podcast it means so much to us every time we we realize there’s somebody else um on the patron it honestly excites us thank you little grateful Catherine I mean I know but it’s I really think like I don’t think
People realize how much it means to us it’s so great so thank you thank you to our producers Richard bnell L Richard bald Neil Redmond Victoria Hutcherson Harold V Dyke Tim and D David Walker Rachel R sad Cashmore Clare Owen Jones Jessa Nick Zoe Sarah and Molly Ria
Cordelia oh my that was from memory that crazy Rachel paig Helen Tina Lindsay gram Marsh Amy O Abby Warf Matt Sims Luke brigh Leah Kate Spencer Tristan Liz Force Taz Anthony or Anthony who’s to say CL Becky Fox Emily G Dean Michael Stephanie kraa Sophie CH chers chers
Chers chers chers chers Carrie Seuss we guess Charlie AKC Haley Warf and our new producer Aussie St oie St Aussie step which I we’re all assuming is a nickname but I really hope there’s someone out there first name O Aussie second name stff well on queer ultimatum there was
An Australian called aie not like genuine christened first name I don’t know because their pronouns were also aie iconic I know iconic I guess you can be to Australian well shout out to all the Aussies out there thank you so much
10 Comments
I'm obsessed with the difference in energy levels between Rob and Helen / Catherine. It's outstanding.
Out of interest, do the guests sign a contract stating that they preconsent to Helen touching them…? 😂
The golden age of squash!!! So we’ll observes little Helen 🧙♂️🍄😍
Cereal aisle has the calmest energy
I left the UK last year. So sad I’m missing the golden age of squash 😢
Listening to the podcast, then watched the arm wrestle on YouTube.
So glad I came here to watch the arm wrestle ahahahahaha (listened on patron yesterday) lol – the visuals add a whole other level.
Absolutely loved this one
Trisha paytas was someone who went on Ellen and talked fast…. aha
Yes Helen!!!!! The c in E=mc^2 is the speed of light <3 much love from Canada