How I became an outlaw in three countries

Buckle up: it’s time to go on a crime spree across Europe. From trespassing in Sweden, to tram troubles and accidental weapons smuggling, join me in the grand finale of Chronicles of Wet Socks. This time, we’re driving south, fueled by dysentery and frostbitten fingers.

Episode 1: https://youtu.be/BBiFObQghgk
Episode 2: https://youtu.be/-UFFe2jq_NI
Short – Italian tries Swedish pizza and survives: https://youtube.com/shorts/NP_0no2Gn9s?feature=share
Short – Instant pasta is a felony: https://youtube.com/shorts/1ii1HYI6zCQ?feature=share

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– Find me online –

Website: https://www.lordbroblord.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lord.broblord (@lord.broblord)
Twitter: https://twitter.com/lordbroblord (@lordbroblord)

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– Music –

Music from https://filmmusic.io:
– Lively Lumpsucker, Meanwhile in Bavaria, Halls of the Undead, March of the Spoons, Professor and the Plant by Kevin MacLeod
– Banjo Fever, Horde Of Geese, Fly Faster Chicken, Foam Rubber, Traveler by Alexander Nakarada
– Visitors In The Night by Rafael Krux
– Shenanigans by Steven Obrien
– Classical Piano Waltz Of Birds by MusicLFiles
– Little Trolls by Frank Schröter
– Jailbreak Whispers by John Bartmann
Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Strauss – Frühlingsstimmen
Beethoven – Sinfonia No 9 Op 125

Why do I always end like this? Marvelous question, my friend. My fellow humans, I bid you welcome to the third and final episode of Chronicles of Wet Socks. As always, if you haven’t seen the previous ones, who cares, you can start right here! Please don’t click away, it hurts my retention.

Long story short, I drove from Italy to Norway, and now I have to close the loop. Spoiler: I smuggled a knife into the European Parliament, trespassed in a military zone in Sweden and accidentally ended up on a list  of offenders in Switzerland. Oops.

I can’t say I’m a fan of mud, but if you are, oh boy you will love Norway. Look: we have pathways covered in mud, mud covered in more mud, and even rocks floating on mud. Isn’t that lovely? Ahh, the Ocean, so peaceful. Why is there a ribcage under the water?

More weird stuff here, and this is a bone. Choose your own adventure! You see what looks like the site of a satanic ritual, what do you do? A) you run away. B) you investigate what? No, you can’t drink the  salty skeleton water, that’s not Refreshing, with a strong  seaweed aftertaste. 7/10.

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What? You really think  I have enough money to eat twice a day in a restaurant? In Norway? Travel tips with Rémy! Park  your car in a very remote and unusual location, and  make fun of the locals who see your Italian license plate and visibly go “WTF”. Hours of free entertainment. Speaking of cars…

Waiting, waiting, for an hour we’ve  been waiting, I’m going insane Well! That was worth the wait.  I love walking on precarious rocks and slippery footbridges  spanning across certain death. And the pouring rain doesn’t bother me one bit, after all, there’s no such thing as bad weather,

Only bad clothing. Like the  one I’m wearing right now. But then, it got worse. Because, you know, we had to cross the tundra. There’s no such thing as bad  weather, only bad clothing! We talked about Oslo in the  previous video, so let’s skip it entirely. I’m just  leaving here a few seconds

Of the view you get from the city metro. You lucky bastards. After Norway, my slithering  friend and I headed straight into the rising sun, stopping at  Örebro, Västerås, and Uppsala. Something like that. Not much to  say, they are small but very pretty.

Just like the receptionist of my  hotel. So if you are watching, I’m in Uppsala and I’m a little  bit cold, but a guy in his 60s, probably, just passed me wearing  just shorts and a light jacket. How? How is that possible? What kind of genetics do Swedes have?

Oh great, this room has two plugs here and… how am I supposed to use that? But more importantly, how does this guy travel for several consecutive  weeks without working? The answer is… he doesn’t. And he had to stay in the smallest micro apartment ever  built, to get some work done.

So, for around a month the routine  has been wake up, work, explore, wake up, work, explore. I was very tired. I was taking a stroll because I wanted to do some night photography to a cute  palace here in Stockholm, and I accidentally got into a military zone with

A soldier looking at me really menacingly. Thanks for not shooting us! And I also accidentally got  into a construction site and almost destroyed my car, so… yeah tonight was not a  great night for adventuring. Let’s go back home. If the car is still working.

Allow me to put on my official  travel vlogger attire, to bring you a new episode of “Lord  Broblord reviews travel activities”, the webseries where I, Lord  Broblord, review travel activities. Let’s get right into it, but not  before you smash that like button and obliterate the subscribe… Yeah.

Stockholm metro: love the different  art style for each station. Mine had creepy ears, because  I can’t have nice things. Royal palace: riktigt snyggt, triggers nationalism for a country that isn’t even my own. Skansen open air museum: I gave a danger noodle some scritches. 10/10 Vasa museum: that ship is huge.

Swedish cuisine: the best in northern Europe, but I decided to eat literal garbage instead. I just published two shorts if you are curious. Links in the description. Boat trip across the archipelago:  the islands are charming, losing my fingers to frostbite is not. I know you see me online and think

“Damn, that guy must be so freaking cool” Wishful thinking let’s show the person behind the character. Here I am eating salad straight from the bag, sitting on a chair in my pajama pants. And… yeah, life is good! Oh! Sorry, I must have taken the wrong Greetings wanderer. You have journeyed far.

Are you looking for your fate to be revealed? Ehm, not really. I was looking for the bathroom. I see a sunset on the endless Ocean. I see war and anguish. I see a Lord fallen from grace. His crown, shattered. Oooh… a prophecy. Cringe, I mean, great!

That sounds very enticing,  but not really my cup of tea. By the way, what’s going  on with all the languages? Why do I see subtitles? Do you accept the burden of destiny? Maybe later, now I really have to pee. All good things have an  end, only sausages have two.

So, the time came to leave our northern home. With heavy hearts we headed south, but with a quick stop in  Copenhagen, cause why not. I must pet the duck. Please, let me pet. Shh, they’re taking a nap So many lightssss Hey, it’s me! The guy who already wasted

Hundreds of euros during this trip, because my brain is full of squirrels. Guess what? Instead of booking the ferry  from Denmark to Germany, I booked it the other way around. There is something profoundly wrong with me. After becoming the laughing  stock of the entire Baltic, we reached Hamburg, where My ears!

Boats! Ships! Submarines! Naz- no, no, bad. Let’s just talk about the metro seats that stop your blood flow and break your spine every time the train stops and… Strasbourg! We have arrived in France, in the most “European” city of the country. Where nobody speaks English, because… France.

So you want to get inside the European Parliament. Yes. With a weapon in your backpack. What? No, I took all the knives out in the hotel. You have a knife, I can see it in the x-ray. No I don’t. Yes you do. NO I DON’T.

I did have a knife. This tiny  multitool I keep in my first aid kit. Luckily, the security guards were  really nice and understanding, and instead of calling the  police they just agreed we are too small and cute to be a  threat to international security. Ah! If only they knew!

So you want to get into Switzerland. Yes. And you are from Italy. Yes. But your trunk is full of Japanese  candy you bought in Norway. And bananas. Get out of the car, please. One very confused policeman later, we’re back to walking on waterfalls. This time, the biggest one  in Europe, in Schaffhausen.

I cannot convey how much I  wanted to jump into the water and enjoy some vigorous bubbles massage. Or how much I wanted to hug the bears in the city center of Bern. As stated before, there is something wrong with me. Moving from German Switzerland  to French Switzerland,

We took a stroll in the  delightful Lausanne, during the only sunny day we got in the entirety of November. It’s called Chronicles of Wet Socks for a reason. But! If I had to pick a highlight of  the entire trip back from Stockholm, it would be the CERN, the European  Center for Nuclear Research.

I’m a nerd, give me a break,  but it’s hard not to get aroused when you are walking on the biggest particle accelerator in the world. And when I say aroused, I mean it in a purely sexu I don’t have friends 🙁 If you too have a kink for making small things

Go [???], bending the rules  of physics in the process, go visit, it’s free and super cool. Only downside… It’s in Geneva. We have to talk about Geneva. What is going on there and  why is everyone a lunatic? I tried to visit the palace of the  United Nations and I met the most

Openly hostile security in the  entirety of the observable universe. I went for a walk in the city  center in broad daylight,  and I saw people fighting and  trying to punch each other over who could use the bike lane. Twice. I went to the lakeside,  and there were people

Bathing in 5 degrees and a mime  stalking and terrorizing people. What is going on? Are you alright? If you need help, just, just ask, ok? Heyy, are you trying to avoid  talking about a certain event? What are you, ashamed of yourself  for being criminal scum?

Yes I am. I feel stupid. But ok,  let’s talk about that, you snake. It was very early morning, and I was really, really sleepy, and I got on the tram. Oh, merde, I forgot to buy the ticket. This is not Stockholm, there is no app.

Oh well, I’ll get off at the  next stop, I just hope there’s no Bonjour, ticket please. OHH COME ON First time in my life I travel on  public transport without a ticket. 110€ of fine and my name added  to the list of lawbreakers.

Which is fair, I didn’t have a  ticket and I deserved the fine, but seriously? Two days before reaching home? At least punish me for something fun, like, I don’t know, smuggling  nuclear material out of CERN. Which, of course, I didn’t do. Final day, and some very mixed feelings,

But we’ll talk about them in a second. Back to France, to visit Annecy and Chambéry. Wonderful little towns, for sure,  and a perfect sendoff for this trip. It rained. A lot. And I stepped into a giant puddle. And then, after 7626.5 kilometers on the road, and probably just as many walking… home.

Hundreds of days of anticipation,  stress, fatigue, daily grind, all suddenly melting away.  Didn’t feel weird, at all. What now? Well, now we can slow down for a second and express gratitude to ourselves, for being determined enough to reach such an achievement. I need a bigger challenge. Oh my.

Well, no spoilers but some  interesting but different challenges are already on the horizon.  Until then, thank you so much for watching, it was really  painful to compress so many days into less than 1 hour of content,  but I hope it was worth it. And thank you so much for being part of this,

Here, on Instagram, everywhere. I really appreciate your support  and I hope to see you next time. Until then, take care. Phew, that was a long one. What the hell? Ehm, hi? Hi! How’s it going? Listen,  I need to ask you a favor. Could you go to Portugal and  retrieve something for me?

Why don’t you go? I’m currently being held captive by the Old One. And they are letting you use your phone? The power of just asking politely. So, will you do this for me? Please? Oh come on, I just came back from Sweden!

Ok, fine, I will go! Just  send me a map or something. Thanks! See you as soon as I escape. Bye! Jeez. Asking politely my [_]