Stand-Up Challenge (Series 15) Featuring James Acaster & Ed Gamble | Jokes On Us

A hilarious throwback to some of the most classic stand-up challenge moments from Series 15 of Mock the Week.

Check out more hilarious Mock The Week moments here – https://www.youtube.com/@MockTheWeek

00:08 – Nish Kumar (Movies)
01:47 – Gary Delaney (Work)
03:43 – Rob Beckett (Going Out)
05:51 – James Acaster (Food & Drink)
07:49 – Miles Jump (Travel)
09:34 – Milton Jones (Music)
11:04 – Rhys James (Jobs)
12:55 – Gary Delaney (Technology)
14:27 – John Robins (Health)
16:24 – James Acaster (Moving House)
18:41 – Loyiso Gold (Politics)
20:02 – Milton Jones (Jobs)
21:57 – Ivo Graham (Technology)
23:41 – Ed Gamble (Relationships)
26:08 – Elis James (Life Stages)
28:13 – Gary Delaney (Relationships)
29:58 – Ed Gamble (Health)
32:07 – Milton Jones (Shopping)
33:50 – John Robins (Home Life)
36:10 – James Acaster (Cinema)
37:43 – Nish Kumar (Health)
39:28 – Milton Jones (Transport)

Welcome to Jokes On Us – Where all the best stand-up comedy is fed, watered, and given free lodging.
Feast your eyes on the most hysterical clips and compilations that we can get our hands on – from fresh new comics to classic household names right here on YouTube (and Facebook).

💬 Join the Conversation: We love hearing from our community of comedy enthusiasts! Engage with us in the comments, share your favorite moments, and let us know what topics or skits you’d like to see next.

🔥 New Uploads Weekly: We are committed to keeping the laughter alive, so we regularly upload fresh and engaging content.

Make sure to hit that subscribe button and turn on notifications to unbox a hilarious collection of comedy content. Whatever your taste, we’ve got a giggle here for everyone.
Sit back and laugh the night away… Jokes On Us!

#JokesOnUs #Comedy #StandUp

Let’s spin the wheel first subject is the movies who wants to come in US Nish I’m a big movie fan and I’m very excited that there’s going to be a new James Bond now my pick personally would be Idris Elber I think he’d be an amazing James Bond but some people are

Very unhappy I was reading an article about this and the first comment under the article started with the words this is not a race thing which immediately makes you think it’s definitely a race thing this is not race thing it’s just James Bond is not black now I got terrible news for this

Person James Bond is not [Applause] real he’s not a real person he doesn’t exist if you’re talking about Fidelity to Ian Fleming’s original character Daniel Craig has a smartphone and a laptop and in one of the Pierce brosen films he’d drove an invisible car so it

Might be a bit like you just suddenly become a stickler for Cannon and the second comment started with the words this is political correctness gone mad this is the ethnic minority Lobby getting their way again and hey we all know if the ethnic minority Lobby has been campaigning for anything it is for

A black James B people have been out in the streets we want a black James Bond now we don’t care about police brutality all we care about is7 # black bonds matter we will settle for a Mexican maybe and who can forget the immortal words of Dr Martin Luther King I Have a

Dream that one day a black man will play a fake spy thank you very much okay the leades with Gary let’s see what you’ve being left with let’s spin the wheel okay the topic is work I nearly lost my job as a roofer when I was caught masturbating on the

First day luckily my boss said I could wipe the Slate clean [Applause] I used to work at waterstones one day a guy came in asking if we had any audio books with subtitles I thought hang on that’s a book The Circus near me held a competition to find the best

Contortionist So I entered myself and won in my old job I just used to punch buttons all day and that’s why I’m no allowed to work in panto I’ve got two lawyers working for me at the minute one’s pro bono and the other thinks he a right pretentious [Applause]

[ __ ] when my granddad was caught trying to stow away in the Merchant Navy he offered to work his passage which as you can imagine made him very Popular I hate people who phone me up just to complain about the weather which is why I lost my job at Mountain Rescue I was at a station the other day that had a piano on the platform so I had a little tinkle on it which saved me 30

P I went on a positive thinking course it was [ __ ] I bought a Microsoft Advent calendar if You’ open too many windows at once they all shut again for no bloody reason thank you well done very good adding points for both of you well done come on sit back

In the first subject is going out Rob I uh like going out getting drunk it’s fun is it I got so drunk the other week it was the most hung over I’ve ever been in the morning I bought McDonald’s breakfast and ate it in a que for Gregs

And I still don’t know if I’m ashamed or proud so I don’t like tequila though I don’t like doing shots it annoys me with tequila it’s it’s too much admin and it so I lick a bit of salt eat a lemon what are you doing that for it

Makes it taste nicer it’s not fishing chips is it so so no one looks like they’re enjoying everyone looks panicked don’t they the like oh oh thank God for the salt and lemon they’re loving it AR they do you know make a tequila nicer do a tequila then

Have cabage Cream Egg that’ be nice would it take the taste out of your mouth the thing is as well though it’s like I’m can’t properly get you know get on it now I’m like a bit older I’m not too old to get drunk but when I was 18

You don’t care do you can get battered just get on with it right cuz hangovers they say hangovers get worse they don’t do they you just have more [ __ ] to do when you’re older that’s the problem when I was 18 on a night out I’d

Be getting on it some I’m like go do you want some drugs I’m like I don’t know how it affect me what my mom think oh my God drugs now if I’m on night out so I’m do you want some drugs can’t mate got to paint a fence

Tomorrow I don’t painting a fence all sad all hot sweaty and vulnerable oh I was really looking forward to painting this fence last night told everyone about it I’m so hot sweaty and sad I’m more likely to keep hold of the drugs do them in the morning before the

Fence just smash it like that I’ll do the roof should I do the roof let’s do the roof we got no ladder I’m flying Mom thank you very much okay that leaves with James let’s see what topic you’ve been left with let’s spin the wheel and food and drink uh I’m not like

Rob I don’t like going out getting drunk I I like staying in I drink on my own well cooler man I lock the door I get myself a glass of punch is that weird I drink punch on my own is that strange I drink I drink it from a big

Punch ball with a ladle in it in the corner of my bedroom is that weird I don’t know don’t know what other people do people people was worried about punch getting spiked solo punch problem solved not to [ __ ] myself unless it’s Funtime Thursdays tried going out with some mates recently

We hit the town I’m a prankster when I’m out with my friends one of them left me alone with his pint while he went to the toilet big mistake it’s classic prank always do thisen someone leaves me alone with their pint I went around the bar using his pint to propose toast with

Deliberately proposing toast to things I knew he disagreed With he comes back as a sip uh what you done with that I’m like you just drank to the service charge being included in the bill you just drank to those bedside lamps and don’t have the switch on the cord like it’s convenient but have it on

The neck of the lamp under the bulb it’s like a it’s like a bolt you have to somehow slide across and you can’t even reach it like that you got get your whole hand up inside the lampshade really it hurts it’s really awkward you

Can’t even see it you got to look at the top of the lampshade to see what you’re doing and then you turn on and it blind you you just drank to those lamps you love those lamps thank you very much point of come on very good T thank you very

Much the first subject is travel math I’ll tell you what’s wrong with trains uh it’s it’s the quiet coach okay quiet that that is an adjective it doesn’t go far enough quiet is an adjective it should be called The Silent coach should the silent Co no one would

Have any trouble understanding that it’s the silent coach right you can’t talk on it you can’t use your laptop children can’t travel on it you can’t eat crisps and crucially crucially they the trained people they wouldn’t be allowed to make announcements because the sword of people that have the mentality to travel

On the quiet coach which is the correct mentality are the sort of people who check where the train is going before they bloody get on it for years we’ve just not got these things right you I’m not the weak audience you’re exactly the sort of people that know what I’m talking about

In in Russia during the revolution right during the Russian Revolution the Russian army was able to travel to all of its Battles by train during a revolution they were still able to rely on public transport imagine if we had a revolution now in the Army had to rely

On transport we’d be buggered wouldn’t we certainly certainly those of us who wanted the Army to win absolute nightmare wouldn’t it Master Mo 2016 kicked off you know the British army turning up 7 hours late to every single conflict oh sorry there were leaves on the line at

Stevenage there was a passenger action at crew going to be joined by the SAS but they’ve been stuck on a rail replacement bus service in hor than you very okay now leaves Milton let’s see what topic you left let spin the wheel and some music we don’t know much about

Galileo he was a poor boy from a poor family I live in a grade two listed building which of course means that everyone in it has to be quite good at the [Laughter] piano apparently all Chinese children who learning to play the piano know a tune called knife and [Applause]

Fork I’d like to take the band Abba out for lunch and if I could I would my friend fernandos when I was at school and it rained we used to have to stay in for wet play and when it was cold we used to have to stay in and listen to this

Really dull band ad79 Julia Caesar receives the first ever weather [Laughter] forecast ha Caesar thank you very much points there go to B Jones come on and the first subject is jobs who want to come us ree uh I’ve got a job yeah I’m not resigning and uh my job is this which

Still counts dad and uh this is a good job it’s not perfect it’s not the best job in the world I would never say that some people think it is it’s not right best job in the world Community Support Officer with no power comes no responsibility best job ever

But nothing is expected of you if you’re a community support officer right if it’s not writing down someone’s details then it is beyond your remit that is 100% it’s just vigilante admin that’s all it is you’re a professional grass that is your job I got a leaf through

The post a few weeks ago advertising that job right it said do you have what it takes to be the best will you stand up in the face of danger when no one else will no then you should become a Community Support Officer in the hierarchy of law

Enforcement in this country it goes Army police British transport police ticket inspector traffic Warden park ranger dinner lady kid wearing Nik trainers kid wearing Adidas trainers Community Support Officer kid wearing [Applause] Umbro okay that leades with Gary let’s see what you’ve been left with let’s spin the wheel

Again the topic is technology okay where you go the young couple next door to me have recently made a sex tape I mean obviously they don’t know that yet the hardest part of making skimmed milk must be throwing the cows across the lake the guy next to me at work used to

Watch porn all day I’m just glad he didn’t begin to rub off on me I think if I was to try revenge porn I’d just post naked pictures of myself online so everybody would know how low my ex’s standards were when answering the security question place of birth apparently

Vagina is not an acceptable answer it’s been a tough week I got myself a memory foone mattress and now it’s trying to Blackmail me I’ve currently got a stalker but you probably can’t tell in these trousers a friend of mine was killed by the big

Sea he was walking past cures and a sign fell on his head I was watching TV and the announcer said there’s a documentary about the clitoris on the red button but I couldn’t find it thank you another very good point there for a GU lady come on

Back the first of it is heal who wants to come in that John I went to get some test results from my GP the other day and she sat me down and she said I’m very sorry to tell you Mr Robbins but you’ve got Gout I was absolutely stunned she said

You seem surprised to hear you’ve got Gout I said yes I am cuz I’m not from the 17th century she said the first thing you need to avoid Mr Robbins is alcohol now it’s gutting because what do you replace alcohol with I am not uh a doob

Monger nor do I ride the Chinese Highway by which I mean I don’t take drugs I think mainly because I don’t have the vocabulary to oversee a transaction so she says the second thing you need to avoid Mr Robbins is cheese and I said out loud to a respectable GP in her late

60s what the [ __ ] mate then she gets this serious look on her face she says the third thing you need to avoid Mr Robbins and this is very important is awful well I’ll tell you what if I didn’t damn near spit that pig’s ear clean out of my

Mouth turns out gout is actually a very serious condition and after a lot of soul search ing I’ve decided to cut aul entirely out of my diet I’m not going to make you imagine what that’s like it’s my cross and I’ll bear it and I’ll tell you how I bear it

Pissed and covered in cheese well done thank you very [Applause] much that leaves us with James let’s see what you’ve been left with let’s spin the wheel the topic is moving house ah I uh I moved house recently luckily that’s good a it it’s fortunate touch and guy for a second

There and that came up and I was like cing jackpot I didn’t mve house recently T to drafty for my like in my new house had to order a draft excluder by post the best way to buy a draft excluder is by post CU when they deliver it they post

It through the door it drops through the letter box onto the floor already it’s paying for its own postage moved to West London I used to live in Southwest London different times I was a different person uh used to be in a gang big time in a gang sw6 gang is our

Name it’s the area of London where from is our name and it’s what would shout at other gangs we didn’t like much like if I saw the sw5 gang for example we shouted them6 that’s clever I remember once back in the day we’re out and about sw6 crew taking no

[ __ ] and looked across the road we saw them s sw5 gang and as soon as I saw them I was cross shouted at them S sw6 as per and shouted back at us as w 5 which we expected but it still made us angry there six back at them there five

Back at us back and forth back and forth for ages until eventually I got so over stimulated that I shouted out my entire postcode in full and that is why I had to move house well on point there for James [Applause] AC the first subject is politics who shall come in on politics

Louiso so you guys are all um worried about your Prime Ministers and that kind of stuff I I’d say calm down because I’m from South Africa and the guy who’s the head of state now was facing 763 charges before he became the president that that’s a lot of crime you

Have to break the law every day for two years cuz you guys are I mean we had a great president our first democratically elected president uh president Nelson Mandela and I had the opportunity to meet Nelson Mandel he came up to me I was I was a young lad I think I was

About 12 and stuff and he came up to me and said H H young man uh would you like me to tell you a joke I said yeah go ahead it’s your country uh knock knock I said who’s there who else speaks like this thank thank you very much for the

You that leaves us with Milton let’s see what you’ve been got let’s spin the wheel and it’s jobs Milton have you noticed that if you Google the phrase lost medieval servant boy it says this page cannot be [Applause] found some of you are going to be doing that

Tomorrow I think if I was opening a or Express I’d open it next to a Vision Express so we got some of their customers by mistake I think if I had unlimited money I’d hire two private investigators and get them to follow each other do you ever get that thing where

You think someone’s probably definitely wearing a wig and you think this a I’m sorry your honor I’m a bit of a lazy writer according to my children querty and F12 being a PE teacher that’s easy isn’t it shiny I teach running run I teach swimming swim and a tiny tiny little bit of

Geography [Applause] J Jones come back both of you and the topic is technology IA I think uh I think our generation were a bit of a crossover generation when it came to modern technology so for example uh I had access to to computers as a teenager at my school but not

Proper video games so the the video games that I played as a teenager were the ones that came free with the computers let me tell you what a rock and roll mid- naughties existence that was those long afternoons on my own spent playing mind sweeper playing pinball and trying to scroll down all

The way to the bottom of Microsoft Excel not strictly a video game but when you’re lonely enough still feels like an achievement and I’m proud to stand here now and boast in front of you all that I’ve completed Excel and live to tell the tale I’ve gone where few Mortals

Dare To Tread all the way down all the way right written my name in that bottom right hand Excel cell I won’t tell you what that cell is called cuz it would blow your minds spent a joyous moment just hovering over contrl P just imagining the

Carnage did I have the balls the sheer Granite testes to print off the entirety of Excel on the school Paper Supply I didn’t in the end but the thought experiment was enough alone and in my last here we got a games console our first group video game Mario

Kart if you’re not familiar with it it’s the greatest video game and thing of all time since tried intercourse still prefer Mario Kart Mario Kart reactively encouraged to finish first and if you do there’s no shame okay that leads us with Ed let’s see what you’ve been left with let’s spin the

Wheel and the topic is relationships where you go I am in a serious relationship that’s what she makes me say serious I’m in a serious relationship this is my partner sounds like you’re in a law firm is what it sounds like serious relationship sounds like a disease how’s your relationship I’m

Sorry to say it’s serious I’m not in a serious relationship I’m in a silly relationship you tell me if you think this sounds like a serious relationship the other day me and my girlfriend were having a discussion about the Beatles at some point during that discussion she forgot George Harrison’s name now she

Previously knew George Harrison’s name but her brain did something to her that all of our brains do to us now and again it just deleted a fact for no reason and it panics you when that happens you think am I going mad am I going scile

You go on a spiral of panic and worry and I could see she was worried and any good boyfriend in that situation would have told her George Harrison’s name and I am a good boyfriend but I am a better comedian so what I chose to do in that

Situation was write down every guess that she took at George Harrison’s name I have memorized them and I’m now going to recite them to you the good people of mock the week here we go guess number one Sean Paul Ringo John there it is you you thought there might have been

Two John’s in the Beatles Maybe The Beatles were a double John band and as if we’d remember them in that order we wouldn’t go John Paul Ringo John we wouldn’t bookend it with John’s it would be John John Paul Ringo Paul Ringo John John or Paul Ringo and the

John’s she knew that was wrong immediately I squared in her face guess number two John Paul Ringo Joseph hello Joseph what are you doing in there I didn’t realize the Beatles were a nativity themed band Three Guys 60s ha does one child with a teaw tied to his

Head again she knew it was wrong I was on the floor already then her brain gave her a little free pass gave her a clue gave her the surname thank you brain John Paul Ringo Tony Harrison oh Tony you’re not part of this conversation please remove yourself from

The vicinity immediately I said you’re half right you’re half right I promise you her next guess was Harrison Ford thank you very much bra there you go God the end of that round the points going to gambo the first is life stages who wants to come in

That I’ve uh got a very young kid and one of the things I’ve noticed about fatherhood is that it’s turning me into a DAT right I’ve started doing this thing that uh when I’m excited that I’ve only ever seen uh usually well usually very working class dads do when they’re

Excited and I call it the clap and rub okay so if my mom for instance said uh oh I can’t be bothered to uh cook tonight why don’t we have fish and chips my dad because he’ll excit you he’ll go fish and chips fish and chips and I have started doing that now

But when I’m doing that I’m like what the hell is going on why am I clapping and rubbing my hands but it’s an amazing thing to clap and rub because it’s so versatile you can use it to display excitement about anything so you’re like uh oh I’m going

Out for a drink with my friend Dennis oh the inquiry Found Me Not Guilty another thing with uh having a baby is I think it brought on a midlife crisis one of the first things I did when she was born was I joined a boxing club like a proper spit and sawdust

South London Boxing Club I don’t want anyone to be frightened at home uh cuz cuz I’m not hard block because uh My Level boxing is almost exclusively skipping um I am absolutely incredible at skipping now but I don’t know how this is going to help me in a one-on-one

Combat situation I’m be walking down to Mary way late at night a block like oh give me your phone in your wallet I’m be like what are you mugging me yeah I’m mugging you yeah you mugging me yeah I’m yeah yeah yeah well try it [Applause] thank

You okay that leav us with Gary let’s see what you’ve been left with let’s spin the wheel and the topic is relationships the other day a woman described me as a bit of a looker well Voyer was the actual word that she used I used to go out with a parachutist

With IBS but shat on me from a great hi one time I nearly had a threesome with my girlfriend and my best friend and the only thing that stopped it happening was they didn’t invite me my girlfriend said she wanted to try some new condoms with something special

Inside to boost her pleasure I said oh what’s that she said other men our fourth child was called Ivy and that’s cuz we ran out of names and started using Roman numerals my last girlfriend was always trying to put me down which is just one of the hazards of going out with a

Vet I Tried reading a book on premature ejaculation but I couldn’t get past the opening passage this Christmas I’m taking the whole family to lap land which is great cuz normally those clubs don’t let kids in I always worry when a woman sees me naked for the first time she’s just

Going to scream and run out the park my girlfriend and I love watching box sets we got three episodes into oranges the New Black before finding out it wasn’t about what would happen if Trump replaced Obama point that come on and the first subject is Health bed camp so in the last three years I’ve lost six stone in weight cheers uh no too late a lot of audiences like to clap they like to [ __ ] they like to cheer you guys just went with staring and that is absolutely

Fine that’s that’s all right that’s fine I think I might have made a mistake as well cuz I’m not as happy now I thought Health would equal happiness turns out the happiest moments of my life were just me sat on the sofa in my pants laughing through a mouthful of

Cake I’m a more worried person now I think am I eating the right thing am I exercising enough I went for a run the other day I accidentally swallowed a fly I had to Google how many calories is a fly six per serving if you’re wondering weirdly now I feel like an

Undercover fat person who’s been secretly sent into the lair of the thin people to gather information on what those crazy villains are doing and then I feed it back to the fat people you got to feed it back we eat anything so I’m in there just going what

Are these thin people up to what’s going on oh interesting in that guy’s got a pack lunch but he’s actually eating it at lunchtime well I have never seen that before he’s not just made it in the morning and then eaten it on the bus on the way to

Work and then bought chips at one that is intriguing resolve ah they’re using phrases I’ve never heard before things that only thin people say I think I’ve got some biscuits I’ll just go and check who’s living their life like that who buys biscuits and then forgets that they

Exist that is unacceptable I’m so deep undercover I’ve met the bosses of the thin Mafia people who don’t even like food that much you go oh no I’m not really a food person you know no it’s not it’s more of a fuel isn’t it helps

Me get through the day if you don’t like food then what are you thinking about all of the time thank you very much Ed gam that leaves us with Milton let’s see what you’ve been L with let’s spin the wheel the topic is shopping tricky isn’t it when you go to

Buy a toaster and at the end the shop assistant says well what about insurance and you don’t want to but you end up taking a hostage recently I bought the autobiography of Franchesco cell the man who invented cellotape H but I couldn’t find the beginning so lights if you want to

Confuse a girl best thing to do is buy her a pair of chocolate shoes so I took my cases and my closed to Tesco because they say they help you pack your bags instead everyone was just running around going do want some fruit and veg

Do want some fruit and veg do want some fruit turns out I was one of those hypermarkets what else can I tell you about myself uh I own a small zoo and a pirate ship although not at the same time I didn’t buy that much

Lego I mean we think of pirates as being all Smiley it turns out they’re actually all somale point and go [Applause] too and the topic is home life who wants to come in that So uh my girlfriend went away for four weeks to Australia and in the runup to her going away she was very concerned about how we’d cope I sort of less worried about that I’ll be honest with you what I was mainly thinking in the runup to my girlfriend going to Australia for 4

Weeks wasay l l Lads down the pub that’s a pint Glass by the way turns out they’ve moved on their girlfriends aren’t away their kids exist my flat is now just turned into a blank grief W cell of Despair cuz I see it without my girlfriend in it for the first time

That’s so my mind just begins to fill with all the everyday things that lose their magic without her because that’s what I think love is it’s a domestic thing the other day she was emptying the bin and I knew it was going to split cuz she doesn’t buy heavy duty bin bags cuz

She doesn’t listen to me and she’s lifting out the bin and I can see the main sort of bulk of the refu is staying there meanwhile the bagg itself is just stretching getting clearer and clearer till it’s little more than a shadow and I think well that bag is going to split

But I can’t tell her cuz I’ve learned I hear this shrill cry it’s a sound I’ve not heard my girlfriend make before cuz I’m not much in the bedroom and I thought well that binag split hasn’t it time to go and lighten the atmos with a few choice quips about

Why we heavy duty bin BS John Robins okay that leaves us with jayes let’s see what your topic is let’s spin the wheel and the topic is Cinema where you go speaking of the cinema Sarah Pasco is an idiot love going to the cinema my favorite film I ever saw at the cinema

Was the Eddie redm classic The Theory of Everything loved it it should have been called look who’s Hawking that’s my criticism nobody’s perfect worst part of going to the cinema is other people easily sitting there King of the jerks is behind me this really angry man had a

Go at me at one point cuz I was snacking get over yourself Grandad I’ll do what I like in his defense I was eating a big bag of fortune cookies cracking them open reading them out loud it was disruptive it was disruptive end of this film man behind

Me goes uh that’s two hours of my life I’m not getting back I thought oh got some bad news for this guy every hour of your life now you’re never getting back they gone forever time is not refundable death is the end and I know that cuz 5 minutes

Earlier I’d V it in a fortune cookie [Applause] johnin and the first topic is Health who I had a bit of a health emergency uh last year I was doing the washing up and I cut my hand I was washing up and I pushed my hand into a glass the glass

Shattered and it slashed my hand here and I had to go to hospital and let me tell you this the NHS staff are incredible they really nice to me they’re really sweet one of them call me a brave boy uh which is good cuz I was being one so

I don’t know what you’re laughing at okay I’m the one with the badge anyway before I did that uh I did something which I probably regret doing I called nhs111 now if you don’t know what this service is it’s a service the government has brought into to replace

NHS direct so if you have a non-life-threatening emergency you’re supposed to dial 111 on your phones now I’m sure that these people are very nice but based on my experience they are proportional less skill than their numerical value compared to 999 because it was the blind leading the blind a one

Point she said how is the blood and I said red cuz I had no idea then she said is there a lot of blood I said yes cuz there was a lot of blood and she said is there enough to fill a mug I got no idea I don’t wish to brag I

Have a lot of different mug sizes in my house also while this was happening I was just panicking I wasn’t decanting the blood in the hope of he poured back into my body at a later dat then she said is the blood flowing or oozing I

Said I have no idea what the difference is between those two things is and she said oh there’s a difference I was like I’m not getting into a semantic debate with you while blood is gushing out of my hand and you just went gushing thank you very much

M okay that leaves us with Milton let’s see what you’ve been left with now the topic is transport when I was at school my bike was smashed up it was my own fault really I just handed out leaflets saying bullying let’s break the cycle we’ve been over this again and

Again and again said my driving instructor pointing to the badger apparently there is actually a road in the north of England called quality Street there’s only one person living in it and he’s both Turkish and delightful tricky isn’t it if you’re both a moth and a sea

Captain in charge of a ship what uphead you see a lighthouse you know you shouldn’t toilets in trains are rubbish aren’t they especially the one right at the front and the bloke in there gets so crossed the bo goar come on