Shell Game (Crime, 1975) John Davidson. Tommy Atkins, Robert Sampson | Full Movie

A convicted con artist sets out to expose the head of a charity fund who has been embezzling money to cover his huge gambling losses.

Original title:Shell Game (1975)
This film is available with many subtitle languages

Director: Glenn Jordan
Writer: Harold Jack Bloom
Stars: John Davidson. Tommy Atkins, Robert Sampson
Genres: Classics, Comedy, Crime, Adventure

00:00 Full Movie
02:12 Snail mail hustle
04:26 Office sleepover
06:19 $225,000 missing
11:40 1975 style
12:16 The poker hustle
13:14 That’s called murder 1
14:15 Don’t panic
22:26 At the Ponies
29:45 You are up to something
32:07 Hold my local calls

@CultCinemaClassics

[MUSIC PLAYING] [BUZZING] JOYCE (ON PHONE): Yes, sir? -Good morning, Joyce. Is, uh, Mrs. Margolin in her office? JOYCE (ON PHONE): Yes, sir. Shall I connect you? -Uh, no. I think I’ll just walk down the hall. Thank you. CONSTANCE: Come in. -Mr. Rettig, good morning. -Good morning, Constance.

I’m glad I caught you in. -Is something wrong? -Only the obvious. Same thing we talked about last month. The revenue by mail is only half what it was this time last year. -Well, I am sorry, Mr. Rettig. I just don’t know what else to do.

-No one’s blaming you, Constance, but it is your department. -Well, I had sent follow-up letters to all those who didn’t respond. -Fine. Do you have the report from our Eastern office? -Oh, yes. -Oh, I mean a copy. I don’t know what happens to things around here.

-Oh, well I can make one in just a few minutes. -[INAUDIBLE]. I’d appreciate that. -Steve! Steve! Wake up. Wake up. -Hm? [INAUDIBLE], are you still here? -Well, it’s 9 o’clock. In the morning, Steve. Come on. -Oh, no! I’m due in court in half an hour. -Since when? -Since last night.

One of the Jackson kids was found in a stolen car. He’s being arraigned this morning. Do I have time to shave? -If you hurry– it wouldn’t hurt you to change that shirt, either. -Change with what? -Well, the last time you slept over you

Had to rush out and buy a new one. I figured it would happen again, so I had the old one launded. -Oh, I love you! -Max. -Max. Hey, come on. What are you doing? -I figured somewhere else seemed like a good idea. -Listen, I’m rushing like mad.

There’s some notes on my desk– accessory to grand larceny. Can you find them for me? -What about Mrs. Margolin? -What about her? Oh, this morning. Max, you talk to her. Lola, give him all of the notes that she gave us after we got her out on bail.

-When I came in here and saw the two of you, I said to myself, by George, she’s done it. -Well, he does [INAUDIBLE]. -I mean it. I mean it. I think you’re gaining on him. -[INAUDIBLE] you think. -Can’t hurt. I’m the only family he’s got.

-Well then why don’t you get him to stop working so hard. Especially for loses. You know, there are actually people in this world who get into trouble and pay a lawyer. -Max, don’t try charming Mrs. Margolin into thinking everything’s all right, because it isn’t.

I mean she’s in real trouble. -I’ll make some coffee. CONSTANCE: You see, we just thought that the money had never been donated. We had no idea that any money was missing until the district attorney’s investigation. -$225,000 is missing. -That’s what they say.

Apparently they’ve checked with all the regular contributors who hadn’t replied to my first request. -You were responsible for cash donations that came in by mail. You also admit the safe [INAUDIBLE] of almost $50,000 in cash. Now the DA’s assumption is that you either spent the money

Or that you have it hidden somewhere else. -It’s not true. That’s my money. -Isn’t that a lot of money? I mean, for a woman of your income? -Most of it is from my late husband’s life insurance and the rest of it I saved.

Mr. Castle, I grew up during the Depression. When I saw my father lose everything that we had when the markets failed and the banks closed, that’s a terrible lesson. But I didn’t steal the money. I’ve never stolen anything. -I’m sure you didn’t. But I’m afraid we’re in a position

Of having to prove that you didn’t. Or that someone else did. -Someone else? -Yeah. The money’s missing. You show no record of it. Therefore it must have been stolen before it ever got to you. Who would’ve done that? -They didn’t steal from me. They stole from thousands of refugees

Who make food and medicine. I don’t know what kind of people do that. -Who do you work for? CONSTANCE: Oh, I report directly to the trustees. -Who are? [INAUDIBLE], [INAUDIBLE], Alfred Taver. They could– they just wouldn’t. -Neither would you, Mrs. Margolin. STEVE: [INAUDIBLE] losing money on the horses.

So here’s a fact– Lyle Rettig can afford it. He’s inherited a fortune from some cousin in New York. -That was six years and who knows how many girls ago. Not to mention a string of bum race horses and a boat that the banks foreclosed on.

It’s not up until recently he was close to broke. -[INAUDIBLE]. -Yeah. Just proves you need an investigative assistant long before you got saddled with me. -What do you mean saddled? -I mean, thanks. Let’s not kid ourselves. A real lawyer ought to be doing what I do for you.

-I’m not complaining. -I should. Promised that Florida judge I’d work in your office for five years if he suspended my sentence. Well, if I just sat around all day reading comic books he wouldn’t complain, either. -You know, you’re the only one I know who can compliment

Somebody, and at the same time make him feel he has to defend himself? -Well maybe you do. Defend yourself against yourself. Any deadbeat walks in here and tells you he’s a misunderstood choir boys, and you fight like hell to prove it. You’re everybody’s sucker.

–[INAUDIBLE] is what you’re saying? -In a way, yes. If I took a plane and disappeared, you’d be legally responsible. -Why don’t you, then? -Don’t think I haven’t thought about it. -You still thinking about it? -If you weren’t my brother. -It’s a shame we’re not all brothers, isn’t it, Max?

MAX: Is that what you’re getting at? -That wouldn’t be a bad place to get to, would it? -No, it wouldn’t. But while we’re getting there, don’t walk down any dark alleys. You might meet someone going in a different direction. [MUSIC PLAYING] SHIRLEY: Yes? -Hello, Shirley. [INAUDIBLE]

-Yeah, he’s running a play. You in on it? -No, no. I can wait. -OK. [CHATTERING] -What name’s Dorothy using? -Frank Parsons. -Hey, Bob. -Thought you told me you couldn’t make it tonight? -I can’t, Frank. I gotta be back in the office in a half an hour for a midnight conference call.

Thought maybe you guys would buy me a drink. -After what you took out the game last week? You oughta buy us something? He’ll give it all back next week. You know all the boys here, don’t you? I mean, except Norm. Norm Carmichael. Bob Harper. MAX: Norm. Well, [INAUDIBLE].

Maybe a little later you’ll fix me a drink. -A drink for real or tea on the rocks. -I call a straight bourbon. How long have they been going? -Couple of hours. Hope Stoker doesn’t drag it out. I’m paying my babysitter three bucks an hour. -That’s right.

How old’s the kid now? -Just four. You should see him, Max. He walks, talks, and looks just like Joe. -What’s Joe doing? Two to five in 11 months. -That’s not what I meant. -The reason I looked funny at the door,

You know– the word was out that you got busted in Florida. -Yeah, there were problems, but it’s OK now. Where did Stoker find this Carmichael? -Airplane from Chicago. He owns the movie theaters in the Midwest that show those dirty pictures.

He bragged to Stoker how he gets those young kids to take their clothes off for the camera, and then half the time he doesn’t even pay him and they’re too scared to squawk. -Mhm. Nice fella. -So Stoker made a deal with him to cheat.

Stoker deals him the winning cards, and then they split the profits afterwards. -I know how it goes, Shirley. -Yeah. Listen to me. -Hold it! You’re cheating! -What are you talking about. -You’re dealing from the middle of the deck instead of the top. -Crazy. You guys know me. -Hey, look.

Take it easy. -Oh, sure. It’s OK with you. And you’re the only winner. Hey, you must be working with him. -What are you talking about? He’s your friend. I just met him. -All right, that’s enough! Sit down or take a walk. -Yeah? I’m not walking out [INAUDIBLE] the dough I lost!

Now come on, come on. Get it out! –[INAUDIBLE], for crying out loud! [GUN FIRING] -Oh! -He’s dead. -Shirley, go home now. Ted, wait! -What, are you crazy? Let’s get out of here. No, he’s right. That was an accident. That was nobody’s fault. STOKER: You think the police are going

To believe that when they find his body here? Especially if we all run? Let’s just calm down. Calm it down. Sure it was an accident. We all know that. What do you think your law firm’s going to say when they find out you’re involved in this? -What about my bank?

Me in a poker game where somebody got killed. I can’t handle that. -That’s right. None of us can. I mean, sure it’s a mess, but let’s not panic. -But what are we gonna do? -What if, uh– what if he wasn’t found here. All right, the hotel knows we’re here.

They saw us coming in. They’ll see us leave. And if he’s not found here, we’re in the clear, right? -What are you getting at? -I know a guy who will take the body out of here, leave it on a beach, and make it look like mugging and murder.

-I’m getting sick. -Hey, shut up! Now this guy– will he know who we are? -No, he doesn’t have to. I can– I can take care of it myself, but it’s, uh– it’s going to cost some money. -How much? At least 50 thousand. -50 thousand? -Yeah, and cheap for the price.

That guy’s caught with a dead man– dead from a bullet– he’s looking murder one right in the face! TED: That’s what we might be facing. Sure, what the hell’s the difference? I could have lost it in the game, anyway. Here. It’s– It’s everything I have on me.

-I got a couple of hundred, Frank. Didn’t think I’d need more. -Thanks. -Here. Here’s mine. -$7,000. You won more than that. TED: You holding back at a time like this? Damn you. Don’t you realize if one of us gets caught, we all go down the drain? -Take it easy.

-Hey. Hey, look, I’m just not thinking straight. Here. Here. -We’re still going to be short. See what Herb had on him. STOKER: $4,500. We’re just a little bit better than $42,000 -Frank, why don’t you offer him the $42,000 -What if he says no? -Do we have a choice? -No.

I’ll just have to think of something. You guys better all get out here fast. Straight home. No detours. -Looked pretty good, Herb. -Lousy blank. Almost went off in my face. STOKER: Carmichael out of the hotel? -You kidding? He’s out running. He’s probably halfway to the airport by now. -Yeah.

See you tomorrow, Stoker. -Herb. -Max. -Goodnight, Herb. What do you clear? -Eh– $5,000, $6,000 hanging in money. Which is another way of saying we missed you, Max. -Mutual, Stoker. -Did you really take a fall in Florida? MAX: Yeah. For something I didn’t do. STOKER: Hey!

-Hey, would I lie about a thing like that? -Yes, you would. But not to me. -Stoker, I had a legit deal going. It was in real estate. Really legit. My sales manager uses his own pocket for escrow and ran off with some down payments.

-So you got hung for a sheep when you were really a lamp. -Yeah. -Ooh! -What are you doing now? -My brother’s a lawyer. You never met him. -You gotta be straight. -Are you kidding? He’s strictly Walt Disney. His reputation’s like the flip side of mine.

[INAUDIBLE] the judge released me in his custody. -Is that better than jail? -Well, you tel me. -Yeah, it’s better than jail. OK, we’re back in business! -Yee! -Oh, I got this mark in Cincinnati. He sells plumbing supplies. He’s gotten rich because his brother-in-law’s on the city

Council, and hands out building contracts. I figure we can set him up. The same way we took out that jukebox bandit in Chicago. Remember him? -Yeah. Yeah. I remember how his fat wife screamed when she found out he lost the money. She didn’t even know she had it.

Fact is, Stoker, uh– I got something in mind, but I don’t think you’re going to like it. -Come on, since when don’t I like your action? What’s the size of the score? -Expenses. -If I’m supposed to laugh, you tell me when.

-Look, the mark I’m after is a phoney dude who’s a lot worse than that bum you just hustled in this card game. If you decide to go along with me, I’ll give you the details later. -For expenses? -I have to play it that way.

-Even though if we get caught, we end up in the slammer anyway, right? -That’s right. -You give me one reason why I should. -How long have we known each other? -That is a good reason. -OK. What’s the mark’s name? MAX: Lyle Rettig. -Lyle Rettig. -All right. The big deal [INAUDIBLE].

And, uh, he likes to play the horses. -OK. Give me a few days to set up a team. -All right, I’ll check with you first of next week. And, uh, Stoker. Thanks. -You’re not the least bit welcome. [ANNOUNCER LISTING HORSES] -Take him home, baby! Come on, let’s see something!

ANNOUNCER: The unofficial order of finish now appears [INAUDIBLE]. Please hold all tickets until the stewards have declared the race official. -Yes, sir. [INAUDIBLE]. Right this way. [TRUMPET PLAYING] ANNOUNCER: The horses are now coming on the track– -There they are. Isn’t the number three gorgeous? -Mr. [INAUDIBLE]? -Hey, Manuel.

How’ve you been? -I had to talk to the boys, you know? -Sure. Peter [INAUDIBLE] the next race. On the Nosey. SHIRLEY: Which one? Are these any good? -I doubt it. I just picked them up off the floor. ANNOUNCER: They’re off! Country Blue is going to the front of the inside.

Baby Doll is going with him, and Pearl Diver’s moving [INAUDIBLE]. Followed by Solitaire and Foolish Pride. Go into the clubhouse turn, Country Blue and Baby Doll are still in the lead with Pear Diver and Solitaire right behind him. Then it’s Foolish Pride [INAUDIBLE].

Turning into the back stretch, Baby Doll moves up to challenge Country Blue for the lead. Solitaire [INAUDIBLE]. It’s at the far turn. Solitaire now takes the lead from Baby Doll. Coming into the stretch is Solitaire and Foolish Pride. [INAUDIBLE]. Solitaire and Double Down. Neck and neck.

Solitaire and Double Down– and Double Down [INAUDIBLE]. -Wouldn’t have it any other way. Got get the money. We’ll do it again. ANNOUNCER: The unofficial order of finish now appears on [INAUDIBLE]. Please hold all– -Can’t win them all, huh? -It’s only money. -Yeah. That’s a way. Good times always, chief, huh?

-Anything in the [INAUDIBLE]? -Not yet. How about you? -Wouldn’t it be great if it was this easy? -[INAUDIBLE], now? -No. Wait ’til the horses get out on the track. You’d better get back to work. What did Max tip ya? -50. -OK, he’ll probably give you another one.

Keep them both, and thanks. -It’s a pleasure. [TRUMPET PLAYING] ANNOUNCER: The horses are now on the track for the running of the sixth race. -What do you think of that [INAUDIBLE]? -[INAUDIBLE]? Yeah, I wouldn’t throw him out. -That mean you like something better?

-Let’s just say I got talked into it. -Is he a friend of yours? -Well, he gets a lot closer to the horse’s mouth than I do. -Yeah, I’ll bet he does. Who’s he like? -[INAUDIBLE] this way. I sort of promised I wouldn’t spread anything around. Part of the deal.

You understand? -Ah, yes. Sure. -Hey, wait a minute. I can’t tell you the horse, but, uh, I never promised I wouldn’t place a bet for a friend. You’re a friend, aren’t ya? -Lyle Rettig. -John Addison. Margo Wilson. LYLE: How you do? -Hi. -Got one happy family, huh?

How much you want to put down? -$200. Will that, uh, get you even? -Are you that sure? -I usually get what I pay for. -$500. -Keep your money. Why don’t you pay me back out of your winnings. -Oh, boy, you’re something else. It’s fun. Relax, enjoy yourself.

Tell Stoker to buy $500 worth of win tickets on every horse in the race. Bring it back with you. You get out here often? -Oh, yeah. Whenever I can. -10 horses. That means we lose $4,500 no matter which horse wins. You can’t accumulate if you don’t [INAUDIBLE].

-Yeah, but you said the sucker only wanted to bet $200. Now why didn’t Max let him? -You’re telling Max how to run a con? He’s beautiful. -That’s terrific. You can start a fan club when you’re on welfare. And make sure he gets the $500 back in the winning tickets.

ANNOUNCER: Sliver Hawk still hold the lead [INAUDIBLE], and starting to move from far back, The Longest Day. As they go into the far turn it’s Silver Hawk [INAUDIBLE]. Neck and neck, and here comes Longest Day [INAUDIBLE]. It’s in the stretch. It’s still Silver Hawk [INAUDIBLE].

But here comes Longest Day. Silver Hawk will be on the outside as he moves to the middle of the track. Silver Hawk [INAUDIBLE]. -[INAUDIBLE]? -Yes! -[INAUDIBLE]? -Yes! ANNOUNCER: And now Longest Day. [INAUDIBLE] Longest Day on the outside taking the lead and [INAUDIBLE]. Longest Day! -That’s right.

Honey, give Mr. Rettig his win tickets on the three horse. -[INAUDIBLE]? -On the way out, yeah. How about that? -That’s 12 to 1. That’s $6,000. -Not bad, huh? -Yeah, it’s a shame we have to go. Oh, look. Let me buy you a drink? What am I talking about.

I’ll take you to dinner tonight. Both of you. -Oh, that’d be very nice, but you don’t have to do that. -It’s settled. Harrison’s at 7:30? -We’d like that. That’d be great. I have to fly up to Sacramento for a couple hours, but I’d be back by 8:30. -Anything you say.

-8:30 would be perfect. -All right. Don’t forget now. -Not a chance. You owe me $500. Hey, I’m just kidding. -No. I’m sorry. -OK, OK. It was a bad joke. -All right. -I’ll see you tonight, huh? -I’ll be looking forward to it. -Howdy. -Well, what’s this for? -I don’t know.

What can I get for them? -How about a karate chop? -Is Steve in? -No. He had a meeting uptown, but he left you a message. He says you’re wrong about Rettig. Rettig has $300,000 equity in a million dollar office building in New York. You understand that? -I do.

Steve doesn’t. Rettig inherited that estate free and clear, which means he’s already borrowed $700,000 against it and has a heavy mortgage to pay off. LOLA: Also, Steve said he’d be back at 7:00 if you’re free for dinner. -I’m not. Why don’t you [INAUDIBLE] and go instead?

-My, you’re alive and full of beans all of a sudden, aren’t you? -It’s this new girl I’m seeing tonight. LOLA: Uh-huh. You’re up to something. I don’t know what it is, but you’re up to something. Max, don’t get into trouble. Your brother put himself on the line for you.

Don’t let him down. -Relax, Lola. Everything’s fine. -I don’t believe you. -It’s almost 9 o’clock. It’s all right, it’s all right. Shirley and the other bimbo will be there keeping them company. -Yeah, who is the other girl? -Carol Peters. Gal we use that time in St. Louis.

-The one who fell in love with the mark? -It’s all right. She’s lived and learned [INAUDIBLE]. -I hope so. DRIVER: Stoker, you remember now. I got to pick up my boss at his girlfriend’s pad by midnight. -Don’t worry, Cinderella. You’ll be there.

Who’s the– who’s the mater dei at Harrison’s? -Louis. He’s an old friend of yours. -How much do we have to pay for the old friendship? $100. So far we’re about $12,000 in the red and counting. [INAUDIBLE] -Louie. John Addison. -Oh, of course, Mr. Addison. -How are you?

-How nice to have you with us tonight? Your friends are already seated. Will you follow me, please? -Lyle. -Hello, John. We were getting worried. -Ha ha. You look like you’ve been worrying. Margo. -It’s a pleasure to serve you again, Mr. Addison.

The chef was just telling me the other night– -What’s his name? -Andre. -Andre. Andre, right. Don’t tell him I forgot. Tell him hello and I’ll have my usual. -Very good, sir. -Well, isn’t someone going to introduce me to this lovely lady? -Oh, I thought you have met Bonnie before.

Eh, John Addison. Bonnie [INAUDIBLE]. -I’ve heard so much about you. -For you, Mr. Addison. -Oh, I won’t take any local calls. -Saudi Arabia. -I’m sorry, team. -John Addison? Sure, put him on. Hello, your highness. I’m fine, sir. How are you? No, that’s what the California people said.

No, I never agreed to it. I see. Uh-huh. Fine, now that sounds reasonable. Yes, in that case, uh, tell the British people I’m going to move. They don’t like that we’ll get along without them, right? Right. Fine. Thank you, your highness. Nice talking to you, sir. Good– goodbye. -Trouble?

-Uh, depends what side you’re on. Now where were we? -And then the Senator said he really can’t talk to the stock market boys until he was sure he was going to be re-elected. Fishing for a campaign contribution. And then do you remember what you told him?

Johnny here says well, Senator, what kind of bribe did you have in mind? -Ah, just like that? -Just like that. He was a crook. STOKER: Johnny Addison! How are ya? -Hello, Stan. -What are you doing here? -I thought you were somewhere else. That’s what I’m doing here.

Margo Wilson, Bonnie [INAUDIBLE], Lyle Rettig. I guess you’re gonna have to meet Stan [INAUDIBLE]. -Pleasure. Keep your seat. -I guess you can tell he’s from Houston. You know, I have three secretaries trying to track you down all week.

-Well, I’ll have to get my own secretaries a raise. I suppose you don’t insist on joining us. -Just for a second. Oh, nothing for me, thank you. Johnny, I want to make you an offer on that gold mine in Arizona. -What gold mine? STOKER: One you own.

-I’m not in the mining business. -You bought that mine and a half dozen others through your West Coast office. I checked records, transfers– you bought it in 1970. MAX: That long ago? You expect me to remember? STOKER: What difference does that make?

You don’t care about it and I do. Now give me a price. -All right. I’ll talk to my people and get back to your first of the week. -Reckon that’ll have to do. You won’t forget? -If I do, that’s my answer. -I just love him, you know that?

Even when he costs me a fortune. Which he has done several times. You take care, Johnny, you hear? -That’s a promise. -It’s a real pleasure to meet you all. Excuse me again. -Who was that? -How many billionaires do you know? -I don’t think I know any. -You do now. -Danvers?

-Stanley Danvers. MAX: Well, you won’t hear his name around a lot. You hear about the sale of the Queen Mary or the construction of the Alaska pipeline, things like that. And when you do, you can be damn sure Stanley Danvers is making a few hundred more million.

-I think it’s funny you being a gold miner and you don’t even know it. -What about that gold mine? -I don’t know. You can be damn sure if Stan Danvers is interested I’m going to find out why. -Well, I think it’s that time.

Why don’t we go to the powder room and give the fellas a chance to talk behind our backs. -How do you like those? -I’ll let you know in the morning. -Look, I know you’re madly in love with her, but, uh, could it wait for another night?

-What do you mean? -I got something I want to talk to you about. -Sure. -Good. [INAUDIBLE] Margo will explain it to Bonnie. Margo’s used to this by now. -Lyle, it’s a nice night. What do you say we walk a little? -Good idea. Make me feel like I’m in New York.

–[INAUDIBLE], we won’t be needing the car anymore tonight. Thank you. -Yes, sir. Thank you. Goodnight, sir. -Thank you very much, bouncer. -Lyle, let me say first that we don’t know each other very well. I don’t mean to embarrass you, but I got feelings about people

And I like the feelings I get about you. -Well, it’s mutual, John. -You free on Sunday? -If I want to be. Why? -[INAUDIBLE] party. For a business friend from Germany. -And that’s not all there is to it? -Naturally. My business friend is aware of the fact

That I have to sell off a few thousand acres of timber land in Canada. I have to for tax reasons and he knows that. -And he’s trying to squeeze you? -It’s called business. What I want you to do is to outbid him. -Me? -Yeah. -For how much? -What’s the difference?

I’m not going to hold you to it. But the acreage is worth $3 million. He can afford that. In front of him, I want you to offer $2 and three-quarters. -Let’s suppose he backs off. -Then it becomes my problem. But he won’t.

He doesn’t know you and he wants that timberland. He’ll buy. -And besides, it’ll give us a chance to see how we work together, right? -Just can’t keep a step ahead of you, can I? -Listen, where is this party going to be? -On my boat.

I’ll have a car pick you up around noon. -All right. That’ll be good. -Great. -Give me your money. Come on, fast. -[INAUDIBLE]. You’re crazy. -Give it up, or I’ll cut you, man. I mean it. All right, just give us a minute. -Hold him! Hold him!

I’ll get a cop. THIEF: Wait a while! No, wait. Stop. No, please. I wasn’t gonna hurt you. I wasn’t. -We don’t want to get involved in this. You got it coming, kid, and probably worse. But get out of here. -Go on, go on. Get out. Get out of here.

-Jesus, John. You took a hell of a chance. -They’re not so tough. You just got to stand up to them, that’s all. Look, uh, I really don’t feel like walking anymore. How about you? -No. -Let’s get a cab. We’ll drop you off. -I think Carol handled it OK.

I mean, she came on like she really dug the guy. It’ll never last, sweetheart. [KNOCKING AT DOOR] -Hi. -How’d it go? -Great. All set for Sunday. You got the boat? -$300 a day if we don’t sale. So we don’t sale. -Doesn’t matter. Who did you get for the German?

-Herb Carruthers talks the Wienerschnitzel pretty good. -Good, good. -Looked fine tonight, huh? -Yeah. I thought so. -Hey, the mugging bit worked like a charm. The guy was great, whoever he was, but maybe you could tell me about these things beforehand. Ruined a good shirt. What’s a matter?

-I didn’t set up any mugging -You didn’t set up any mugging? [MUSIC PLAYING] -Yeah? You sure it’s him? All right, make like a sailor. All right, everybody. He’s here. -Lyle! Where you been? Johnny? Look who’s here? -Lyle. Glad you could come. -How are you? -Fine. -Say, isn’t this Dan Morgan’s yacht?

-What do you mean? -You see, Morgan invited me on a weekend cruise last winter. There can’t be two like this. -Margo, see if you can get me a straight bourbon. I hate champagne. -So you know Dan? -Yeah. Great guy. How well do you know him? -So-so. Here, there. Around town.

-Dan has been having a little financial trouble. He doesn’t want it known in the business community. -Sure, sure. So he sold you this ship? -Just between us, yes. With the understanding that I sell it back to him when he gets on his feet again.

-That’s a hell for an understanding. For him, that is. -Well, I’d like to think he’d do the same thing for me. COUNTESS: Hello there, John boy! I want to talk to you. -Countess, I’d like you to meet Lyle Rettig. Lyle, this is the Countess [INAUDIBLE]. -Is he important?

MAX: He’s my friend. -OK. Hello. And now listen, John, I wanted to sell those [INAUDIBLE] you want from em. -OK. -Now wait a minute. Why are you being so agreeable? -It’s your money. I just did you a favor. You want to lose $10 million by selling now? Be my guest.

-You know, I loathe to lose money. -Then why don’t you shut up and let me sell those securities when I think you should. -Don’t talk to me like that. -You love it, you fraud. -Ha ha. -Excuse me a minute. -Sure. I guess you do agree with him?

-I always agree with him, you idiot. -Is he still suspicious about the boat? -No, I think it’s all right. Can you believe out of all the boats in California, Stoker would rent the one the mark’s been on? -You think Stoker’s getting old? Well, for a minute there, I was.

-Caviar! -You ready? Lyle. -Excuse me. -Lyle, I want you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Otto Cuffer. Otto, this is Lyle Rettig. -How do you do, sir? -How do you do? -Johny here– he tells me that you are interested in his timber?

-Well, if his timber means money, yes. And you’re really prepared to spend $2 and three-quarter million for his holdings? -I think it’s worth that much. But not a penny more. -Then I must congratulate you, and wish you luck, Mr. Rettig. Now, if you’ll excuse me. -Well, he quit.

-Don’t you believe it. He’ll come back at me. That not a penny more bit was marvelous. Was perfect. -Thank you. Excuse me a moment. -Bad news? -Uh, no, no. It’s good. Maybe. You remember that gold mine I was talking about the other night in the restaurant?

-Well, yeah, with that friend of yours. That wheeler dealer– what was his name? -Stan Danvers. -Right. -I asked the San Francisco office to check it out. Listen to this. This recent increase in price of gold will recommend the property be investigated before sold off. Well that’s true.

The price of gold has gone up 500% in the last year. -Yeah. It has, has it? I really should get into this right away, but it’s a tough week for me. It’s always the way. Listen, John.

I got a little free time if I could help you out in any way. -Oh, no. I appreciate it, Lyle. But I need the geologist report. If I gave you the location of the mine, think you could check out a geologist in Tucson? Have him do a survey for me?

-Sure. A few phone calls. -Yeah. Yeah. We could just fly in there this weekend. Have a talk with him and wrap the whole thing up. LYLE: We? -Why not? You helped me. Least I can do is show you a fun weekend. -Well, there’s nothing wrong with that.

But I don’t mind mixing a little business with pleasure myself. -What do you mean? -Well, I’m too young to retire, and if a proposition came along, I’d like you to keep me in mind. -This timber deal’s tied up with other people in Canada.

-No, no, I don’t mean anything you’ve already got going. But do you have any partners on that gold mine? -You gotta be kidding. This– this is a real shot in the dark. -Well your rich friend doesn’t seem to think so. And your San Francisco office– they

Don’t seem to think so, either. -You’re starting to convince me. I’m game, sure. Turns out to be something, you can buy in. -How much would that be? -Well, let’s see. Whole thing cost me a half million originally. You can have any part of it.

-So that would be 250,000 for half interest? Looks good. You’ve got a deal. Excuse me, gentlemen. -Yes, Otto? -Uh, Johnny, could I speak to you a moment? -Well, sure. Lyle. -Oh, sure. -You want it to look like a deal or an argument? -First one to nail it. -No, no, no.

Too much. -We’re talking about thousands of acres of land. [MUSIC PLAYING] -Listen, he’s tied up this afternoon. He said he’ll meet us at the mine at 10 in the morning. -Oh, he hasn’t checked it out yet? -He’s doing that right now. I’d figure you’d rather see the place

Than just get a paper report. -I don’t know what for. I don’t mean to be funny, but I wouldn’t know a gold mine from a hole in the ground. This, uh, geologist, mining engineer– whatever he is. You’ve– you’ve check him out, right? -He’s the best.

Been doing business in this area for 20 years. OK. SUSAN: Max! I don’t believe it! Oh, so this is where you disappeared to. Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving Miami. -Uh, who said I left? -Well, the police for one.

When I didn’t hear from you, I called them. Are you out on bail? -No, no, it never got to that. I want to meet a friend of mine. This is Joe Rogers. Joe, this is, uh– uh– -I don’t believe you. -I’m terrible with names.

-And, uh, since when am I a name? I’m Susan Monahan. -Hi, how do you do? MAX: Come on, Susan. You just sprang out of nowhere. You surprised me for a minute. Have a drink will ya? -No. No, thanks. I think I’ll just spring back into nowhere. I’m sorry [INAUDIBLE]. -No.

Not at all. -Who was that? -Susan Monahan, I guess. -Do you know her? -Well, sure. Well, I thought you picked up on the fact I didn’t want her to know me. -Yeah, well I figured that when she called you Max. Then you introduce me as Joe Rodgers? -Great looking girl.

[INAUDIBLE], though. -She didn’t look drunk to me. And what was that about the police and you being on bail? -I don’t know. Some story I must’ve told her. I’ve forgotten by now. You remember every story you told women in your time? -Depends on the woman.

MAX: Well, anyway I got rid of her. I’m going to go get cleaned up. Uh, I’ll meet you at the bar in, say, an hour? -Yeah, sure. -Hello, operator? Do you have a Susan Monahan registered here? -Oh, hi. I’m sorry to disturb you, Mrs. Monahan,

But I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment. -What about? -Well, may I come in? -Would you like a drink? -Uh, no, thank you. -Joe, right? Joe– -Yes. -Rogers? -Right. -Right. -Look, I’m a little puzzled. A little while ago with my friend. -Max? -He– yes.

He did remember you, didn’t he? -Oh, he remembers me all right. Are you sure you won’t have a drink? -No, no, thank you. -Why was it he was pretending not to remember? -Well, now why is that any business of yours? -Well, there could be a lot of money involved.

-Oh, yeah? Maybe your money, not mine. -Well, that could be arranged. See, in business we operate a lot like the Internal Revenue. We consider it a normal business expense to pay for valuable information. -That stuff real? -Now what was it our friend was pretending not to remember?

-Hey, it– it’s not that big of deal. -Well, what is it? -I’m separated from my husband. And one night last year, I was out with Max, and when we both came home– my husband was there waiting. He was drunk, and they had a fight.

And Max had to really beat him up. -What does that got to do with the police? -Well– Well he brought charges against him. I mean, assault and battery. The goon was my husband, you know. And it looked bad. Anyway, Max got out on bail.

Paid him off to drop the charges. -Is that all? -Listen, it was really a mess. Am I going to get to keep that $500? -Yeah. Um, listen. When you see Johnny– -Who? I mean, Max, I wish you wouldn’t mention this little talk we had. -To hell with him.

-How’d I do? -You were sensational. -Are you sure this stuff is [INAUDIBLE]? -Yeah. -A lot of people drink it. -Don’t you remember? [INAUDIBLE] forget. -[INAUDIBLE]. Hey, is this guy the guy who swindled you on that Florida real estate deal, how come he doesn’t know you?

-He’s the guy behind the guy. -Aha. Well even if I hadn’t known who he was, I wouldn’t of liked him. Very bad vibes. -Vibes are where you find them. -Max. [MUSIC PLAYING] MAX: If there is gold around here, I’m not sure I want it. -Must be in the mine. [HORN HONKS]

Hello! Anybody there? Mr. Carson? -Yes, sir? Yes, sir. -Lyle Rettig. Mr. Addison. -How you doing? -Very nice to meet you, gentlemen. Mr. Addison, I believe you’re the owner of this property. -Yes, that’s right. You had a chance to, uh, analyze it, appraise it, whatever? -Yes, sir. Yes, I have.

-Uh, Mr. Carson, this is lovely country and it’s a pleasure meeting you, but is there any gold in the mine? -You want the truth? -Preferably. -There’s not enough gold in there to fill your teeth. [MUSIC PLAYING] -The mine is a dud. Why does a man like Danvers want it?

-That’s what I’m trying to figure out. -Well, I know one way to find out. -How? -Well, can you sell him the mine? -Well, what if he said OK? -Well, what if he did? -It would serve him right, huh? -Yeah. Stanley may be a little tricky, but I’m not.

Ah, the hell with it. Look, I got a lot of phone calls to make when we get back to the hotel. Why don’t you call down to the desk and get us reservations on the first flight back to Los Angeles.

LYLE: No, I didn’t know there was a convention leaving town today, and I don’t care. All right, if you can’t get us on the 4 o’clock flight, what about the one afterwards? All right, if I’m not here, call Mr. Addison’s room, please? Thank you. WAITER: Mr. Danvers? LYLE: Hey, boy.

-Mr. Danvers? -No, but I’m a friend of his. Is he registered here? -I don’t know, sir. The switchboard has a long distance call for him. Look, do me a favor, huh? WAITER: Yes, sir. -If you find him, let me know where he is. But don’t mention I asked, huh?

I’d like to surprise him. WAITER: Yes, sir. -I’ll be right here. -Yes, sir. LYLE: Hello, Danvers. -Hello. Sorry, I– I know we’ve met, but I can’t– -Lyle Rettig. Was having dinner with Johnny Addison about a week ago. -In LA! Of course, of course. Sit down, sit down.

I just got here myself. Great country, isn’t it? -How long you here for? -We’re leaving this evening. -We? -Well, Johnny’s here with me. -Gee– he is? Well, listen, you two fellas got to let me buy you a drink before you go. -We actually came down here to look

At that gold mine you wanted to buy. -Gold mine? Oh, [INAUDIBLE]. Well, that was last week. You mean you’re not interested anymore? -Oh, no, I didn’t right say that. You see, he never did get back to me on that. I figured he wasn’t interested.

Why, do you, uh, do you have something to do with that? -Could be. What’d you figure that property was worth when you were interested, that is? -Are we playing a game, Mr. Rettig, or are we talking business? -I’m talking business. -All right.

China paid a half million dollars for that property. That includes a mine and a thousand acres of real estate. Since I’m interested only in the mine, I’d be willing to gamble a half million dollars on it. -Gamble? -Of course. How do I know it’s worth a quarter?

-Well, Johnny likes a little gamble, too. And if you were going to buy him out, he’d have to show a profit on his investment. -That’s what you’d tell him if he asks? -If he asks? STOKER: He will ask. Oh, I truly do love that stuff.

It just goes right through ya. Excuse me, Mr. Rettig. I need a minute to think over what you said. [MUSIC PLAYING] -All right, Mr. Rettig. Make me a fair price. -A flat million for the whole property. -Uh-huh. But you will take $750,000 cash, right? -I didn’t say that.

-Let me put it this way. If you get John to take the $750,000, it’ll be worth another $100,000 to you, personally. Just between us. For your efforts on my behalf. -Where are you going to be for the next few hours? -Anywhere you want me to be. -Stay near a telephone.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR] -Hi Lyle. Come on in. I call up the desk. We got reservations on a 6:30 flight. LYLE: Plenty of time. -Really wanted to make a vacation out of this. Got a call from Rome about a film company I’ve been after.

How’d you like to be in the movie business? -Sure. That’d be great. All those starlets. Listen, John, I was thinking. What are you going to do about that mine? -Uh, I don’t know. Tell jokes about it, I guess. -Listen, uh, I was thinking.

Why don’t I take it off your hands. -What are you talking about? -Well, didn’t you ever get a hunch. I mean, I just got this crazy idea that maybe if I worked the mine or the land around it– -Lyle, you were standing right there

When the guy– the guy that you hired– told us the mine was a complete dud. -I know, but that’s just one guy. He makes a couple hundred bucks a week. -Now guys like us– we do better because we’re willing to trust our instinct.

-Uh, maybe you know something I don’t know, or you are crazy. -Look, I know it don’t make sense, but I think it’s worth a crap shoot. -OK. Who am I to argue with you? I’ve done a thousand wild things that other people thought were crazy.

-And you haven’t done too badly, have you? -So they tell me. OK, so we both know I’d be selling you an empty gold mine. Sure as hell not going to make a profit on it. What kind of a deal do you want? -I don’t know.

You were willing to sell me half interest for a quarter of a million when you thought the mine was worth something. Sure. -How about the same price for the whole thing. -OK. If that’s what you want, I got the deed right here.

If you haven’t changed your mind by the time you get back to LA, you can pay me then and we’ll close the deal. -No, no. I was thinking if we did make a deal, then I’d stay on here and start things going. -Oh, I see.

Then you’d owe me the money. -Oh, no, no. Nothing like that. I don’t believe in taking advantage of, uh, friends in business. Quarter of a million cash. You carry that much cash around with you? -Well, I figured that if we did make a deal,

Then I’d rather not put it through the bank. -Sure, I could use a little nontaxable pocket money. Got a pen? You just bought yourself a gold mine. -Uh, Mr. Danvers, please? Hello. Hello, operator? Yes, I know there’s no answer.

Did Mr. Danvers leave a message where he could be reached? No. Yes, tell him Mr. Rettig called and I’ll be in the hotel. All right, thank you. [MUSIC PLAYING] -What’d it cost us? -Well, 500 for the mine. Plus the zoning expenses on top of what we paid out in LA.

We are just about 25,000 out of pocket. -What we figured, huh? -Yeah. Now, can we talk about the other $225,000? -No. -All right, Operator, would you give me Houston information, please? Hello, Operator? I’d like a telephone listing for Stanley Danvers. His office or his company in Houston.

That’s right. Danvers. Well there must be a listing! -Mr. Rettig? -Yes? -Mr. Danvers is not in his room, sir. -Well did you check it out yourself? -Oh, yes, sir. His clothes are there, luggage, everything. -Doesn’t make any sense. -Isn’t that the same gentleman I paged for a call yesterday?

-Yeah, yeah, that’s right. Danvers. -Thank you very much, sir. After I checked his room, I asked around the bellhops– the doorman, you know. Mr. Danvers took a cab to the airport this afternoon, sir. -What do you mean? -Well, he didn’t take any luggage.

He might have been going to pick someone up, but he hasn’t been back to the hotel since, sir. -Look, what are you talking about? Did you see him get on a plate? Did– did somebody see him get on a plane? -Now that I do not know, sir. Excuse me.

-Hey, where are you going, huh? You’re a thief, man! You’re a crook! You’re a crook! You stole my money! Now you stole my money! You thief! You dirty crook! [INAUDIBLE]! STEVE: Well, now what about that $2,000 check that mining engineer was supposed to receive? $50? You saw the check yourself?

Well, now why did Rettig say $2,000? Oh, no. Oh. Oh, no. Sounds like he’s in pretty bad shape. OK, listen. Thanks for calling, Bill. Buh-bye. Lyle Rettig has confessed the whole thing. -How come? When they locked him up, he started babbling about being swindled out

Of a quarter million dollars. -Was he? -Nobody knows. He has no financial record showing a transfer of that much money. You know when he found out the place didn’t believe him, he started to rant and rave and he trapped himself. He finally admitted embezzling all

That money from the charity. -You think he really was swindled? -Oh, I don’t know. He started giving the police a bunch of names nobody’s ever heard of. Um, I hope this isn’t getting you any old [INAUDIBLE]. -Who, me?

I could say don’t look an old fire horse in the mouth. But I won’t. [KNOCKING ON DOOR] -I’m sorry I’m late, but you’ll never believe what happened. -You’ve heard about Mr. Rettig? -Yes, I know. That poor man. STEVE: Well, what else happened?

-Well, you know, this has all been in the newspapers and on the television– the business about the money being stolen. Well today, some generous person sent an anonymous cashier’s check to the charity for all the money that Mr. Rettig took. $225,000. -Oh, that’s terrific.

-Well, it– it just proves that when somebody like Mr. Rettig disappoints that there’s always someone else to help restore your faith and the generosity [INAUDIBLE]. -I believe that. -[INAUDIBLE]. -Champagne, folks. Compliments of Mrs. Margolin. -I thought we should celebrate. I hope you don’t mind. -Oh, congratulations. -No.

To the man or the woman who returned that money to charity. -I’ll drink to that. [MUSIC PLAYING]