Berlin traumatized me.

From the hilarity of the Oktoberfest, to the glory of the Norwegian fjords, join our heroes’ road trip madness. In this episode of Chronicles of Wet Socks:
– budget blunders in Berlin
– bicycle shenanigans
– clickbait scams in Prague
– capybaras
– Danish lessons
– rage-inducing coins

Episode 1: https://youtu.be/BBiFObQghgk

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– Find me online –

Website: https://www.lordbroblord.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lord.broblord (@lord.broblord)
Twitter: https://twitter.com/lordbroblord (@lordbroblord)

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– Music –
Music from https://filmmusic.io:
The Crown, Circus Amigoville, Party Pirates, Fly Chicken by Alexander Nakarada
Meanwhile in Bavaria, March of the Spoons, Halls of the Undead, Mischief Maker, Five Card Shuffle by Kevin MacLeod
Shenanigans by Steven Obrien
Little Troll 2 by Frank Schroeter
Jailbreak Whispers by John Bartmann
The Fantastical Ferret by Tim Kulig
Classical Piano Waltz Of Birds by MusicLFiles
Licence: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

I just realized that I wasted 400 euros on a wrong booking for Berlin. Oh, hey! Look at that dummy! One week ago, he left his home in Italy to drive across Europe on the most deranged road trip he could ever imagine. And this is the story of how he reached

Scandinavia on a super tight budget. Ehm, if we ignore those 400 euros. But we will get there. Greetings cousins! Show me your cat! Can I test a nice little invention on my nephew? NO. My fellow humans, I bid you welcome to the second episode of Chronicles of Wet Socks.

If you haven’t seen the first, who cares, it’s not important, keep on watching. But do you remember when I said that the sole purpose of this trip was to inflict suffering upon myself?  And that I hate crowds? Well. This guy brought me to the Oktoberfest,

After forcing me to dress up  in this ridiculous outfit. Not that it’s difficult to  convince me to wear silly clothes. Anyway, I had a good time! So many lights! Oh my God! Sensory overload! Ohoh, your friend must be really drunk! Oh, no, he doesn’t drink alcohol. What? I know, I know.

And of course we had to  get inside one of the tents to live the true Wiesn experience. That was a bit less exciting. And then, disaster struck. My neurodivergent friends out there may relate, but you know when you are trying  to do something important, but you have 84 tabs open in your browser,

Your brain is playing Crab Rave on repeat and for some reason you can’t  stop thinking about beavers? Roll the clip. I just realized that I wasted 400  euros on a wrong booking for Berlin. And that money is gone, I will never see it again.

But, there’s a lesson in  Stoicism to be learned here. I will not let this affect my  mood. I am peaceful. I am calm. In any case, I’m leaving for Norway. Wanna come? Hm, why not. Do you need time to prepare, or something? Nah, let’s go.

Do you want to read my report on how to deal  with moose attack during the reproductive season? I’m fine. I need my hat. And so we reached Prague,  which left me really impressed. With ONE notable exception. Before arriving, I read on a website that  when the astronomical clock

In the city center strikes a full  hour, there’s an exciting show of moving statues and mechanical wonders. Mh-mh. To be fair to my Czech brothers, it’s still the coolest clock I’ve ever seen. It’s just that I fell victim of a clickbait article and  expected something different.

Look, I even said good boy to the doggo on Karluv Most, so we’re still friends, right? Yes, despite being loud and obnoxious, somehow I’m still sensitive to noise. Fight me. Also, crowds. Next stop, Berlin! Ah-ah, not so fast! Berlin  is already quite chaotic, so why don’t we spice things up by closing half

Of the main streets for the annual marathon? And guess where your hotel is? Right in the middle. Go on, you speak the language, talk to people. Wait, didn’t you study German last year? Servus! Seriously, how did you survive 29  years with that much social anxiety? Heh, barely. [German] [More German]

[You guessed it, German] The same. I’m so thirsty! Cheers! Ew, what is this? Ehm, that’s just pure rum. You have  to mix a bit of that in the coke. Oh. Oh-oh. Did you just get drunk? Pff, noo, I’m a big boy,  I can handle a bit of rum. Avast ye scurvy landlubber!

Hoist the Jolly Roger, for we be bound to Tortuga! May the queen of England  berth in Davy Jones’ locker! Let’s just pretend that never happened. I will now distract you with 6 seconds of me getting angry at German pillows. Again. So, the following day I woke  up with a bit of a headache,

Probably because of the pillow,  and not the rum, but still, we took a nice walk in the city, and… Why is everything in Berlin under construction? Now, so far we have enjoyed some  laughter and carefree entertainment, but I think it’s time  to sit down for a while and

Talk seriously about the dark side of Berlin. Because, yeah, sure, there are the monuments, and art, and history, but if I think about Berlin,  none of that is the first thing that comes to mind. And I  believe that every person

Who wants to visit this city has to  be aware of its potential dangers. Bicycles. I developed a ptsd. It’s common sense not to stand on bicycle lanes, but if you think  that’s gonna keep you safe, AH! You’ve never been to Berlin. Here, cyclists have no survival instinct.

It doesn’t matter if you are alone  on the road, on the sidewalk, or hiding in a bunker, you will hear this. And if you do, you are a dead man. You will turn around, and the  last thing you will ever see will be a brightly colored bike helmet

Heading towards you at mach 5. During the next 15 seconds the aspiring kamikaze is going to chase you down  and do their absolute best to slam against you at top  speed and kill you both. They are insane. On a more positive note, capybaras! Capybara capybara capybara capybara caapyybaaraa capybara! Look at this duuude.

Cuuuuuute! And now, for a game of “How many flags  can be upside down in my hotel hall?” Seriously, how hard can it be? Just Google them. Speak. Where is he? Well’, I’m not going to tell  you… Unless you ask nicely. God I hate when you do that. Fine, fine,

Hello number 4, it’s been a  while. Would you be so kind to tell us where Lord  Broblord is located right now? Sure! Last time I checked, he  was headed towards Potsdam. Where the hell is Potsdam? It’s just outside Berlin,  and totally worth a visit. Except for the construction works.

But that has to be expected at this point. Lübeck is also pretty cute. But more importantly, it’s on the Baltic Sea, and that means it’s the perfect occasion to expand my ranking of the world’s oceans based on taste. Taste test! 5/10, with a bonus point because a seagull

Stole the pouch of a woman  on the beach and flew away, and that was pretty entertaining. Following the feathered bandit, we sailed across the sea until we reached Denmark, the land of happy plugs made specifically to lure children into getting electrocuted. Oh, hello internet traveler,  today is your lucky day.

Because by liking this video  and subscribing to the channel, you unlocked a free lesson  of Danish with Lord Broblord. Today we’re going to learn  the accurate pronunciation of 4 different words that will prove essential during your next trip to Copenhagen. Let’s suppose a fire breaks  out in a shopping mall.

First, call for help by  shouting “Hjælp!! Hjælp!!”. Then, leave the building, but make sure to read the sign on the door to know if you  have to “tryk” or “træk”. Finally, wait outside and watch the fire while eating a nice “smørrebrød”. They are so good.

Fueled by smørrebrød and the  worst wafers we ever had… It’s not Denmark’s fault, I buy garbage we went for a relaxing stroll  around the gorgeous canals. Ahh, so nice. We’ve been walking all day, why  don’t you just sit down for a minute? Don’t be ridiculous! I already sat down yesterday! Yippee for Sweden!

Yippee for meatballs! Yippee for elevators with no safety door! Not yippee for museums that  are closed on weekdays. Ehm, yippee for ugly statues, I guess? Talk to the woman, you speak the language. I speak German, not Swedish. It’s the same! And finally, after so much  blood and sweat, Norway.

And when I say blood, I mean it. But no amount of blisters or lunches  entirely based on Babybel and kanelbullar will take away the  satisfaction of reaching my goal. And to celebrate, we slept  in a really fancy hotel, with a view over the city, and a free sauna,

And 20 euros Margherita pizzas,  and pianos, and fireplaces… This place is too nice. Hello Norway, I love you  already, but we need to talk. I need you to explain who, in their right mind, would build a shower with a perfectly  flat floor and no bloody door.

Where do you think the water  will go, except [_] everywhere? Despite the questionable plumbing,  I fell in love with Oslo. The trees, the parking spots  that cost half my salary, the weird art, the people  jogging, maybe to stay healthy or maybe because they left  their car in said parking spots,

The needlessly graphic construction works signs, more weird art, the city center  that overlooks the fjord, everything is just so gorgeous.  But we didn’t drive 3 thousand  kilometers to stop in Oslo. Oh no. Editor, put on a dreamy  music, we’re driving to the fjords!

Don’t let travel vloggers  fool you, a long road trip is not really about sightseeing, it’s more about rapidly spiraling down towards insanity. [_] all the ships! [_] all the ships! Hey look! Here deer can jump up to 1 kilometer! And moose up to 6! Home. Cows. Mountains.

The spiraling gets really  fast when you have to cross what has been for 20 years the  longest tunnel in the world. We reached the fjords! How cool is that? Well, it could be worse. My socks have never been so wet. Well, ok, we were a bit unlucky, but we managed

To eat two horrible defrosted  pizzas for just 32 euros! I- I mean, we managed  to visit a gorgeous waterfall. And it was not like we could get  more damp and miserable, so… yay! Do you know what’s worse  than being wet? Being cold.

Luckily, our next stop was Bergen, which  is famous for its pleasant weather. There’s a little wind in Bergen! Is that horrible thing  supposed to be my same species? Story time! We were quite literally chilling in Bergen, when I decided I really  wanted to own a 5 kroner coin.

They are shiny! And have a hole! That sounds simple, unless  you have the habit of only paying with your credit card and  never have cash in your wallet. Argh! Once again I’m a victim of technology! But just as I finished my  critique of modern economics,

A ray of light shined upon a  small silver coin on the ground. I’m not joking, that is exactly what happened. The gods are on my side! I excitedly picked up my  new coin, when I realized… It was 50 groszy. Norwegian? No, from Poland. This is such a perfect representation of my life.

My disappointment is immeasurable  and my day is ruined. Let’s grab something sweet. Greetings, merchant! Provide pastry! Oh, are you French? I. Am. What? You sound French! How dare you call me French,  you off branch Viking! I am the blood of Julius  Caesar and Leonardo Da Vinci!

To offset the clear hostility  of the local population and to reward all my efforts  during the previous month, Bergen decided to give me a  present. One of the biggest dreams of my life has always  been to see the Northern Lights. And while we were heading back to the hotel,

I received a notification on my phone. That night, there would be perfect conditions to see one of the most spectacular shows on Earth. Syke! We spent the whole  evening freezing our butts in front of the ocean for absolutely nothing. Spent the night chasing auroras, and…

Nothing to be seen. Just a lot of cold. The following day, I almost broke my leg visiting a church that will be familiar to black metal fans and arsonists alike, and  later I had to bring Pietro to the airport. And it’s always very sad to say goodbye to a friend.

Now I will have to talk to people! In the next episode of Chronicles of Wet Socks. There is something profoundly wrong with me. What are you? Ashamed of yourself? I did have a knife. Wake up, work, explore, wake up, work, explore. I accidentally got into a military zone.

What is going on? Are you alright? There is no such thing as bad  weather, only bad clothing. Make them stooop! Pleeease!