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Dear Jeff. By the time you read this letter I will have left you. I know it’s a little stupid to leave you a breakup letter but I know there will be a terrible scene that I honestly just don’t want to deal with call me a coward if you want. But
I can’t deal with the pain. I know I’ll cause you see I got bored. I’m bored of living the same way we’ve lived for the last 28 years plus the four years we dated in college. I’m tired of you reading my mind and finishing my sentence. Even though I love it
When you rub my neck or my legs in that special way I just know that you’ll do the right thing just by the way I sigh or the way I plop down in a chair or bed and it’s starting to bother me. It feels like I don’t even have my own thoughts.
And it’s scary. I’m also tired of our boring sex life. Oh I know that’s the statement you’d object to the most. I know that 98% of the time I rejected your advances and abstained from sex until I was ready on my own terms. Have to understand That knowing you want me
Turns me on. And I like to be on the edge of sexuality for a few days before finding relief in release. And I know you wanted to be more adventurous but I always see you as the father of my children. And the thought of him becoming sexually adventurous just seems inappropriate.
He must be a fine-honest conservative man. That’s why I never did what you wanted in bed. Although you passionately fulfilled all my sexual desir. I know this all seem seems hypocritical and selfish. It seems selfish because it is. And that’s why I’m leaving. I need the thrill of the chase
The excitement of a new lover. And you can never be like that again. You were so hot. When we were young playing guitar with buddy in the band riding your Harley in that sexy leather jacket. The wind blowing your blonde locks. Wowing me on the dance floor.
Whether it was in a rock-and-roll club or ballroom there were always beautiful pictures. You painted of me and the children but we grew old and became complacent in the way we treated each other. The rock-band concerts have stopped so you can coach the football team. The Harley is parked in the
Garage buried under the kids sports gear in front of the minivan. And my knees just can’t stay on the dance floor but you still have such beautiful hair. But now the kids are grown. And I’m not comfortable with the minivan life you seem to have come to love. I assure you.
I did not cheat on you and you remain the only man with whom I have ever had sex. However I have found men who interest me. And before I started cheating on you I thought it best to break up with you I couldn’t bear the thought of disrespecting you in secret Jeff
I always loved you too much for that. I’m sure our paths will cross again but I never want to discuss this with you. I spoke with Sam and asked him to represent us in the divorce. He completed the paperwork leaving you everything except my clothes and personal belongings which I took out today.
I even left you half of my pension and took on half of the servicing of our debts minus the mortgage. It’s only fair. And I want to be at least fair please shed your tears in private so that when we meet at children’s events we can continue to avoid making a scene
But justice is justice. So if you want to respond in a letter I promise to read every word and appreciate your parting thoughts. Love Ellen. I read it over and over again. Frozen in the spot in the kitchen where I had taken it. There were no tears yet. I was too stunned.
There was nothing to indicate that this would happen. There was no expression of dissatisfaction. No hint of desire. For more no struggle. No hint of another man in her world. We touched. We kissed. We smiled. We did the little things that two people intend to grow old together. In fact
I’ve spent the last year trying to romance her. Trying to rekindle our passions. Now that our youngest has moved away for good after graduating from college I bought jewelry but she warned me that it was too expensive and she would prefer chocolate. I gave her control of sex because she claimed
I was stressing her out by making love she said. Holding hands with her was also helpful. I think she gave me a clue. I just thought she was slowing down with her life change. And here I stand here the last to know about it I took a beer and took a shower. Yes
At the same time after finishing my beer I grabbed two more and went back to the shower. There was no one around to blame me for leaving a trail of water on her floor. I drank intending to finish my supply including the wine from the cellar.
I really made a serious dent in my mind. The next morning I woke up with a searing headache on the floor of my basement naked from my shower. I went upstairs threw up everything I ate lay down in bed and cried. I was 11 years old when my grandmother died.
My grandfather took me aside and talked to me a lot at the wake and funeral. He taught me a lesson. You get Three days of mourning when someone dies. God raised the dead in 3 days. And you can resurrect your life When you’re older have a drink get into a good bar fight.
Pray make the most of it. Then stop and go back to your life. The departed By moving on. Man does not live in the past that he has lost. He lives in the present that he is building. And in the future that he is moving grandfather was wise. I believed that my wife’s
Desion had ruined our marriage. I cried my ease out drank myself into oblivion punched holes in drywall walls until they bled and then used furniture or whatever else was on hand. To get the job done. I screamed. I kicked I drank. I barely ate anything but I figured beer was grain
Yeast and water just like bread right And wine is fruit. This was my bottled food. It was summer. She waited until the end of the school year to leave. Good planning. I woke up the Tuesday after Friday when she dropped her bomb and came out of morning First I called my children.
Ellen told them of her decision and they desperately tried to reach me. I was too drunk to answer the phone but I assured them I was fine. I cleaned the house and then called my favorite charity to come and get a truckload of donations. There was no way I was going to
Cling to the mess of a failed marriage. I kept furniture that was in the family. I packed photos and photo albums and my children could have them if they wanted. I treated all other memorabilia the same way but I threw away the ridiculous trinkets she had acquired that I never liked.
Why the hell should I care about Spanish pottery or the copper cats we bought in Portugal. I spent the next couple of days visiting home depot purchasing flooring and carpeting paint. And oh yeah. New Drywall. Now I was determined to make this house. My home. The pink and coral walls and
Frilly curtains were history. I stopped at Sam’s and signed the papers. He said that since it was uncontested and there was only one lawyer involved our divorce would be final. Closer to the time. School went back to school. I sold the minivan and drove to a small dealer in a back alley downtown.
I came home in the 76 Triumph Spitfire convertible that I’ve always wanted British racing green beige leather upholstery and chrome alloy wheels. I unpacked the harley which was easy after clearing out the garage of all that old unused junk. But my best decision was to call buddy. This call changed my life as
Quickly as my wife’s letter did. Just a few days ago half an hour after. I told him what happened buddy and the boys showed up at my house buddy has been my best friend since third grade. We started our group together played Ball together went to the same classes met twice at weddings.
He was my best man. I was the best man at his wedding. The end of my marriage was a disaster in his eyes. And he couldn’t let me go through it alone. Our band stopped playing years ago when life got in the way but the people we became friends with haven’t forgotten us.
When I saw Buddy and the boys. There were a lot of guys there. We have played at weddings parties and picnics For many people We often performed for cheap or for free. Because we like the female fans who followed us from concert to concert. Goodwill breeds goodwill.
And when everyone heard that I had trashed my place with the intention of turning it into my home. The gates of goodwill opened wide over the next 2 weeks. Painters carpenters masons plumbers every type of tradesmen you can imagine fixed far more than my walls. Within a month
You wouldn’t be able to recognize my house. It has been redone inside and out. The funny thing about a crowd of guys is they come with a crowd of girls their wives and girls drop by to watch Jeff’s house and soon began bringing their single girlfriends to Jeff’s love life.
No one was aggressive in their matchmaking attempts. It was too early for that but it was obvious that the seeds had been sewn and soon I was dancing and partying being two three nights a week. There were impromptu barbecues and parties at my house and I was never short of company
Even though I didn’t really want to get into a relationship before my divorce was. Finally Buddy suggested reforming the group. In fact he had already gone out and given concerts in some clubs whose owners were old friends before. The fresh paint was dry in my house buddy. And Jeff debuted at Jimmy’s
And took over Friday nights. He booked us on Saturdays at a small dance club in town and Sunday nights at a popular seafood restaurant on the water. We sounded like we never stopped playing. We’ve all been at the same place in our lives where
Our kids either moved on or didn’t need us anymore. We all looked pretty good. And we all wore our own hair. Except Ronnie our drummer. We hit it off Big time. Our fans were happy to come out of hibernation and hear us again. My sons visited me at every opportunity
Helped with repairs and even went out with the group. From time to time. I strictly ordered the not to tell their mother anything about me. And if she asks to tell the truth Dad was very upset but he moved on and everything is fine. My daughter who lived in Australia
With her fiance received similar training. My children have been kind to me and I have always trusted that they respect my wishes. I knew they were truthful when they told me that Ellen had received no information from them regarding my well-being. I also spent time combating loneliness by str strengthening healthy habits
Improving my diet and increasing my exercise. I never allowed myself to get out of shape but now I swam vigorously in the pool and did not forget running and cycling every evening. Even before going to the concert I trained I remade my home my social status my activity calendar
My relationship with my children and my body. Within a month of Ellen leaving. I think it’s time to answer her letter. After all she asked for it right. Dear Ellen thank you were right goodbye Jeff I sent her an email. Short and sweet that says it all. I didn’t have her new
Address and didn’t really need it. Someone tried to tell me that she slept with some handsome guy the same age as my daughter who drove a luxury car and was a very pleasant conversationalist. They were seen together on the shore in clubs and on the beach. Whenever someone told me about her
I politely replied that I didn’t want to hear it but we had many friends. And these little pieces soon came together to paint the picture of a hot September-June romance. Maybe in October June November May it didn’t matter to me. I really wanted the best for her.
Grandpa’s Three-day fored me to move on. And I liked me right now too much to dwell on the memorious. That was the end of summer is a sad reality in the life of a teacher. But August is a hot time for a musician. This year was no exception buddy.
And I signed up for festival after festival until September. On Labor day. We played two to three times a day. Due to my busy schedule I was unable to read her email response. I didn’t ignore her. I just thought we’d exchange one letter and move on. After all that’s what she wanted right
I was simply too busy and having too much fun to check my email. In fact I had almost forgotten about my marital travails. When Sam called and said that our case was really moving along quickly. Apparently a certain clerk with a family law judge was a fan of a certain band on Friday.
I was supposed to officially become single after a month and a half of life’s metamorphosis. On Friday I will become single again. We were playing at an arts festival street Fair in Town. And suddenly all these sexy women with short skirts and plunging necklines were fair game. Cool. When we went on stage
A crowd gathered in the street we turned the amps up to concert settings and unleashed our hard-hitting blues-driving style. We covered songs sang originals improvised jams on the spot and people had a blast. It was very nice. The guys dug through the vaults and found our master tapes from the past.
We never got around to making a record before. We had kids but now we’ve found enough material to fill a couple of makeshift albums. CDs are much easier to produce deuce than vinyl. And we put old and new tracks together. And there was a brisk trade on the sales table.
I received Looks from women of all ages who were truly ready to break my sexual drought. I didn’t see Ellen in the crowd. I missed her attempt to go backstage because I had hung my guitar on the back bar that I had put on my bike years ago specifically for transporting my guitar.
I didn’t see her running towards me when Michelle a 30-year-old busty blonde swung her leg to sit behind me. I didn’t see how she was doing. Her face fell when she realized that for the first time in the life of my 25-year-old Harley another woman was sitting in
Her place as I drove away from her. I didn’t notice her tears. It’s a shame. I didn’t see this. Michelle was amazing. I’m not going to tell you about how I buried my face in her ample cleavage or how she skillfully performed her magic on me. And how good I felt with her.
Suffice to say I chased her all night long bouncing like a 16-year-old and riding to the top. Like a horse. I was completely exhausted at the end of the evening. She told me that she would never forget me for the time we spent together but suggested that I not call her again.
She probably wondered how long it would take her to come to her senses and walk normally. I didn’t think I could avoid Ellen forever. And I didn’t the next time I spotted Ellen was at our regular Friday night gig at Jimm’s. She walked through the door with her boy toy
And another young couple. They found a T and ordered beer. As soon as I saw her I signaled to the guys that we were going beyond our prepared set list. The band always liked to play American on days when we spotted an ex-girlfriend in the audience
And the offended guy always got the mic. As soon as the girl was spotted. This was our way of closing ranks. In support of our friend we stubbornly clung to the-idea that a girl who broke up with one of us was no good for either of us. And neither of us ever crossed
The line to date Ex-girlfriends. I started playing in a slower style that was popularized by Lenny Kravitz. I have never enjoyed this melody. More than when I sang with all the soul. I could muster. The guitar solos were catchy and really got the crowd going. I didn’t see Ellen’s face fall when she
Realized we were playing that old tune for her but Buddy’s wife did. She later told me that. Tears came to her eyes. When I sang the lines stay away from me. And come on leave me alone and she cried at. Don’t knock on my door. I don’t want to see your face anymore.
She walked away for the rest of the song. Barely able to control herself. The toy boy and his friends and girlfriends did not go with her but stayed for several hours drinking and dancing. There must have been some trouble in paradise. A week later. My eldest son visited me. Apparently.
Ellen and her young lover had an argument that night. He was obviously tired of her charms and she was tired of keeping up with the 20-year-old’s activity level. He was upset that she was restricting his lifestyle by avoiding the places where we played. Word got around that the band was active again.
And wherever we played it was a hip and crowded place. It also turned out that he was more than unhappy that she gave up property rights in the divorce. Apparently he was planning to move into my house. I suspected he was a gold digger. But I think he didn’t know about our prenuptial
Agreement that if either of us left the family for greener pastures he would leave break the other keep the house money furniture accumulated finances and other valuables earned during their life together. No matter how short or long that life was it was her father’s idea. As he didn’t trust any man’s
Intentions towards his little girl I had no intention of hurting her. So I would have signed anything. Obviously Ellen remembered this and that’s probably why she offered me everything and it was so easy for her to accept the divorce agreement where she was losing everything. Anyway toy boy sent her packing and she
Spent her last night crying with her kids. On the phone. I really felt for her. But remember that I had spent 3 days in mourning for my marriage and was now free from worrying about her. The children were unhappy with my attitude. Of course they thought I was still single and thought I
Should bring their mother back into the family home at least to help her get back on her feet. I didn’t agree. Accepting her meant that I would have to be responsible for the mood swings that she would undoubtedly experience In spades the normal menopausal experience she shared with me
Before the divorce was bad enough. Dealing with it her feelings of rejection by a boy toy the humiliation of having her crawl to me on her lap plus the potential guilt of leaving me and were not things I wanted to add to my daily menu. In the first place.
I began to eat better live a simpler uncluttered life in a clean unclutter. Fluttered home enjoy my golden years. As a highly respected teacher party with my band and play duet concerts with buddy. And my personal life was more active than ever. Many women simply dreamed of being with a popular single musician.
I couldn’t imagine bringing another woman home only to introduce her to my ex-wife sitting in the living room watching TV and eating ice cream with candy. No I never liked being single when I was young and I had no plans to do anything to change that style. Now the days stretched into weeks.
The kids softened there accepting her to help her and I obliged letting them raid the storage unit I’d rented for furniture and things that were too good for the dump. When Ellen finally rented a small apartment I even loan them. The truck the band brought to Hall gear from gig
To gig with the new school year in full swing and the group’s busy schedule I rarely saw Ellen. She taught in the same area but at a different school so we crossed paths sometimes but I didn’t really pay attention to her when it happened.
I was a popular talking point in the rumor mill. Perhaps it was due to the frequent appearance of Harley’s or my favorite sports car. Perhaps it was my increased activity level that carried over into school life. Perhaps it was my new status as a free bachelor rumors didn’t matter to me.
The group was very popular. My barbecue parties were known as good times and I never lacked female company. H appy as a clam. I was having fun and just didn’T miss family life. I flew to France for Thanksgiving. It was a longtime dream to be in France.
On the day when Bojo was released for sale. After packing my bags I was surprised when my son called the evening before I left and invited me to Ellen’s Turkey day dinner. He was really upset to find out that I had other plans and immediately nailed me down to having a family Christmas
That he and his girlfriend would cook and I would just have to provide the space. He told me that all three of my children were coming to town. And they really wanted to have a special day to remember their childhood. I relented on the condition that Ellen knew.
She shouldn’t come with a date and that I would repay her by devoting my company to the children. I was genuinely surprised when he told me that his mom wasn’t dating at all. And that she was actually really lonely. I just wasn’t interested in some guy grinning
Like a cat who’s had his fill of cream at a family gathering like this. So I didn’t pry into my ex-wife’s personal life. They could stay in my house as long as they wanted. In fact I wanted all the kids to stay home with me rather than go to a hotel Dad.
Mom will feel so bad because we are all at home and she will have to leave when it’s all over. I thought about his words. This will be my first family reunion. Since the kids moved out. When we could all be together Ellen belonged here too so invite her to stay too
But she will have to come to terms with the fact that she is the only one who does not sleep in her old room. Welcome to the guest room. If you guys bring guests they will have to sleep with you or go to a hotel. Thank you dad.
It will mean so much to all of us. He was right. Christmas Day that year was on a Saturday and everyone arrived on a Thursday evening. My daughter and her fiance flying in from Australia and my son and his girlfriend picking them up at the airport on their way into town from Boston.
My youngest was also with them since he was in college in Boston. Ellen pulled up about 10 minutes before them and I watched as she sat in her car before the kids arrived. She was probably nervous. It was touching to see them all gathered to hug and kiss in the front yard.
And for the first time since I came out of my 3 days of mourning I felt a little bad about the water that had passed under our collective bridge. They walked through the front door to find a very pleasant homecoming. Of course neither my daughter nor my ex-wife had
Been in the house since I remodeled it. So that in itself was a bit of a surprise. But I hung the Christmas decorations much the same way we have decorated the halls for years. The candies nutcrackers and garlands were all there. Albe it on my new furniture. The tree with all the old
Ornaments we bought at Christmas markets or handmade in art class sat in its revered central place. I added a fireplace. When I redecorated the living room and the warm fire glowed with pine spirit. The smells of wood fire and warm cider filled the room plates of cookies and fudge stood in every corner
And the table was set with fine china that Ellen’s grandmother had given us as a wedding gift. Many years ago. There was no doubt that I had made our house my home. But there was also no doubt that my home was more than ready to host Christmas for my family.
It seemed strange after everything that had happened but they truly were my family. The children although grown were still my flesh and blood. And although I was divorced my ex-wife held the key to my heart for most of my adult life. When they looked around there was great bustle and delight.
I restored the kids bedrooms to much the same style they grew up in. Except I toned down the hot pink in my daughter’s room to a more mature soft-pastel shade. I also replaced their old single beds with comfy double beds managing to coordinate the new headboards with their children’s desk and dresser.
The spacious guest room was converted into a studio complete with a drafting table by the window. Instruments amplifiers and recording equipment needed for music. I extended one side of the first floor opening a small library into a large room with a TV and pool table.
The living room was furnished with a large new fireplace on which hung brand new Christmas stockings. One for everyone including Ellen. The children noticed the stockings and froze looking at each other with a devilish gleam in their eyes. As one they broke the silence and rushed for the stockings. As they did.
I saw the years melt away from their bodies and suddenly they were little children. Again flying head first. In the joy of Christmas maturity regained its dignity. When the older who also took their partner stockings and returned them muttering separate tales of childhood memories that the stockings brought back.
It was our responsibility to lovingly decorate small inexpensive gifts and treats to fill stockings. Before we moved on to the main gifts under the tree. Soon. They were all nibbling on cookies and chocolate and trying on ridiculous new socks. That could only be worn on Christmas day. But Dad Your stocking is empty.
We didn’t know so we didn’t take anything with us. I grabbed a stocking from the mantle piece and looked inside. No you filled it. You are all here Reminiscing laughing playing Now you are filling it with the essence of Christmas. You fill it with your love. There were a few hugs and
Kisses as we all wished each other. A merry Christmas. Ellen lingered in our embrace a little longer than expected of an ex-wife but not as awkwardly. And for a while it felt like we were still one big happy family. The children realized that there were probably gifts under the tree.
And the giddy feeling of children’s Christmas celebrations washed over them in an instant. We exchanged gifts. The feast was sumptuous and after the dishes were cleared away the guitars appeared and we had our usual Christmas time. It was already late and we began to go to our bedrooms.
Ellen went to the hallway closet to grab her coat. Thank you for being so nice to me today. I really appreciate spending Christmas with you and the kids. I know I should blame myself but of all the things I’ve given up I miss family time the most well the
Children have already grown up and live on their own. It would be just as rare if we were still together. I know but I also miss that family time that you and I had you know family time of two. I guess I’m finally trying to tell you that.
I really ruined a good life for both of us. Don’t blame yourself. We always told the children to follow their dreams to be happy. That’s exactly what you did. We still have a good life. It’s just different. Now she looked at me incredulously. Are you saying that you have so little regret about
What we had after today Do you feel nostalgic at all Do you regret what We lost Ellen We had a wonderful day today. What Have we lost We lost each other. I lost you. And I will never forgive myself for this don’t you care now. She was crying heavily.
I hugged her and she completely broke down. I cried when she left but I was sad that it happened to her now on Christmas. When she finally calmed down I reminded her that when we were dating in college she broke-up with me. She was afraid that we were getting serious too soon.
And wanted to take some time to think about whether she really wanted to spend the rest of her life exclusively with one guy. I told her. How hurt I was that she left me but that I would never want to be completely with someone who didn’t feel completely committed to me.
I gave my mar edge one of the three-day morning periods and came out the other side. Ready to move on with my life. She was a wonderful part of my life today. And I thanked her for that. I was calm and that stopped her from crying.
I invited her to stay the night pulled out the bed in the studio and gave her my t-shirt and robe so she could walk around the house. I heard her sobbing when I came back upstairs after locking the house and I didn’t think she would sleep much. However I slept like the dead.
The next day was a continuation of Christmas. And Ellen was delighted when we all begged her to stay the whole weekend. We didn’t talk about our past again while the kids were there but I recognized the looks Ellen gave me when we were married. So I love you so much. And you are.
Wonderful smiles. I even responded to a couple of glances with hug me and can I kiss you. We read each other’s minds just like we did when we were married at the table she poured herself coffee and I added the right amount of milk.
I was buttering my pancakes and looked over to see that she had applied just the right amount of maple syrup. We finish each other’s sentences. However we slept in different rooms. The kids all left together and my daughter planned to spend time with the boys in
Boston and then head to Vermont to ski. This left Ellen and I alone in the house we bought together I lit a fire and she opened a bottle of wine. Fine. We sat and talked. We reminisced joked and then became serious. I was so stupid so wrong and so cruel.
I know I can never make it up to you. And I don’t expect you to forgive me but I want to say that. I want to at least be friends. Again you were not only my husband you were my best friend my advisor my most trusted colleague my partner in crime.
And I miss it all so much. I looked at her smiled and the dam broke. Ellen has away with words and she has woven a masterpiece of conversation with one person she told me about how bored she became. Although she now realizes that she cut herself off
From me to create the vacuum of passion that we experienced together she told me about the excitement of meeting a young forest boy and the allure of a secret love affair. She told me how easy it was to turn me into a monster. When she was being monstrous herself her story was
One of acts of betrayal accompanied by rage that I had not fought for her that I had been indifferent and had simply let her go. She told me how jealous she was of my life. When I landed on my feet and returned to the lifestyle I liked when we met.
Especially when she saw some pretty young girl-riding in her place on the-back of my Harley jealousy turned to rage. As she saw me with girl-after-girl offering something else that Ellen felt was superior to what she was giving me. Her emotions plummeted when the divorce was final and she discovered that her-boyfriend only dated
Married women until they became single and then dumped them. He seemed to enjoy spending their husband’s money ever Since his father and old-school conservative who strongly disapproved of his son’s destructive ways disowned him and withdrew his trust funds. She found no other perspective after the breakup.
It seems that good men suitable for her age were either already taken or did not want to take seriously a woman who cheated on her devoted first husband. There were plenty of men who could buy her a drink dance with her or climb into bed with her. But none who wanted a serious
Relationship young guys were happy to date her. After all she looked hot and oozed sensuality. When she wanted to flip that switch but they definitely didn’t want anything to do with a long-term relationship with someone who was going through menopause. It is difficult to start a family in such conditions.
I listened to her chatter until she became exhausted. I poured each of us a glass of wine and handed it to her with a smile. Yes judging by what you said you were quite stupid but you don’t have to make amends to me. Like I said you followed your
Dreams and I loved you enough to allow. It’s a pity that I don’t have a photo of her face. At that moment she clearly didn’t expect me to link my reaction to my love for her. I really forgave you almost immediately. How could I keep you in my marriage When you wanted
To leave I couldn’t keep you tied up or locked in a cage in the house. If I forbid you to do something you would simply hide it from me and move on. Your note may have seemed cruel at first but looking back I see that it really did keep things clean and tidy.
We didn’t fight over property and we didn’t have to worry about custody as the kids grew up. I have to thank you for this. So I am no longer your husband and it may be a long time before you call me your best friend and adviser. Trust is definitely an issue for me.
But if you want to trust my advice that label is up to you partners in crime might be a little close to where we are now. But how about we just call ourselves Friends. Her eyes filled with tears as she melted into my arms. She stayed one more night.
No don’t think we slept separately. We just had a lot of catching up to Do. We seemed okay sharing the role of parents together Again the next day she went home to pack for a new year’s camping trip to join her children in Boston. I had concerts all week which is a
Very lucrative time for musicians. Of course the side benefit was that my mind was on music and I didn’t even think about Ellen. The school term started just after New Year’s and my new schedule didn’t leave much room for seeing Ellen. The next time our paths crossed was at a conference in April.
We sat next to each other and ended up having lunch together at a table for two. We had a nice chat and discussed my daughter’s upcoming marriage in Australia. It seemed like we were back to being friends together towards the end of lunch. She thanked me for treating her so well today.
And at Christmas she said. She was so happy that we could move on as friends and asked me if I would do her a favor. She blushed and then chuckled and stammered a little and finally muttered a request to take her for a ride on the Harley some weekend.
Certainly I answered without losing my rhythm. Sunday should be warm and beautiful but we don’t play on this day. Let’s drive north stop for a great lunch and spend some time outdoors. She was smiling and cheerful. I was drawn to memories of her riding a motorcycle with me. When we were younger.
The day always ended with an amazing romp in the bedroom inspired by hours of her arms hugging me from behind her hands roaming all over my chest. And well you get the picture. Without further details. She was always teasing me asking the next time we would go riding with something
Big and powerful between her legs. And the motorcycle was good too. I wasn’t sure. I could resist her I was right. I could not. We drove up to the waterfall and I felt her hands wandering We climbed to the top of the waterfall and followed a long path through the forest
Down the hill to the motorcycle. We stopped in a quaint little town and walked the streets browsing the antique shops. It was a day that I absolutely hated. Except for the fact that I was spending time with this woman who I had spent my life with seeing her as beautiful in every way.
Then we headed back south and stopped for a seafood dinner. At the tavern on the pier. Candl. Light delicious food. Waves gently lapping against the dock boats passing gracefully. There was no doubt that the dinner was magnificent. I took her home to my house to our house.
I put her to bed to our bed to my bed. Yes. This time we made love. It seemed that now we were playing the role of lovers together. The next week we saw each other for dinner and at the movies. And yes we made love Again.
We even had lunch together a couple of times. We never talked about where our relationship was headed. The thought of the word exceptional in any of its forms was not close to any of our minds. Our daughter’s wedding was just around the corner. We discussed the details in detail.
And I proudly wrote all the checks without complaint hey The band made some money playing all those festivals that were profitable. We paid off the mortgage. While we were still married had almost no credit card debt and I was working full-time at the top of the pay-scale and I didn’t
Have any dependence to support. I wasn’t swimming in money but I was comfortable and had money in the bank. The details we didn’t share were about our travel plans. Each of us agreed on this separately. Although we would both stay in a hotel where all the
Guests would be together when we compared notes we discovered that we were on the same plane I invited her to meet me at my house and share the car I hired to take me to the airport. The day of the trip arrived and Ellen arrived early.
I barely had time to rinse the coffee pot and turn on the dishwasher with my breakfast dishes. When the car pulled into the driveway our driver took us to Kennedy Airport. Our bags were checked and we headed to the terminal together. There aren’t many direct flights
From JFK-K to Sydney in a day these days. So the check-in counter wasn’t crowded and we entered the check-in line together. I followed Ellen and the man at the counter asked why I didn’t join the short first-class line. I bought a first-class ticket because the flight was so long even though I
Usually fly as cheaply as possible. I didn’t realize that the benefits start with express check in and the ticket agent got a chuckle out of it he directed me to the first-class lounge. Ellen was waiting for me and we went through through security together and headed to the waiting room.
I checked in at the front desk and the attendant didn’t question her about the ticket but offered the standard line. There’s a seat in first class and I could seat her next to you. Would you like to upgrade Well go ahead and call me a for being a nostalgic
Dude who pulled out his stupid credit card and blew his hard-earned currency for the comfort of his traitorous ex-wife. You’re wrong. I know that’s what it looks like. But there’s something about flying halfway around the world with my daughter’s mother. To attend My daughter’s wedding in
First-class seats that fold out into a bed. While she’s cramped in the cabin without leg room When we boarded the plane I made her wait with me. She was a little annoyed and fearing that she would lose her place to remain on the sidelines. She began to worry. I explained that I had
Already registered with her before. Of course the irritation completely disappeared. But when she sat next to me and first class and I gave her the rationale as the mother of the bride her mood changed. We arrived in Sydney and the week was magical. We traveled.
We visited famous places and the best thing we did was launch my daughter into her own marriage. I can’t tell you how proud I was to say. My one-line her mother and I to give her away after walking her down the aisle I accompanied Ellen to the reception and enjoyed the accompanying dancing.
Of course the highlight of the evening was when her brothers and I joined the band to perform a rousing version of Allamerican girl. As a musical tribute to our little girl. After the reception. Ellen the boys and I gathered in the hotel lobby. One of them went straight to the point. So
What’s wrong with both of you Nothing new. Honey ellen replied. Your dad and I are just your parents. We have left our past behind and are enjoying life. Does it suit you Yes. Mom. It just looks like something more. It looks like you guys are getting back together.
I don’t know Getting back together. Honey. I’m not stupid A while ago I went a little crazy and made a stupid mistake. Okay then I was stupid. Very stupid. I am responsible for this. And I accept the consequences my dad. And I talked about it and what he told me is true
As we have always taught you I made a choice. I left the relationship. I accept the conse-consquences. The boys looked at me waiting for me to continue. I had nothing to add so I sat there smiling and sipping on a delicious local Australian ale. Come on dad. Mom answered the question.
Will we hear from you boys You should be glad. We didn’t spend a week here making snide insulting comments that put each other down. I’ve heard that this is what divorced couples do at events like this. Also I think that what you are asking is generally within the realm of my
Personal life and is out of scope. But Dad you love mom. We all see it and we’re both old enough to know what it means for a girl to tell you that she wants to be just friends. So without creating nightmares and bad pictures of your love life just tell us you.
And your mom are more than just friends son with our history. If we are friends it will always be more than just friendship. She is the love of my life. The mother of my children and the best friend I have ever had. It’s one of those things that we
Humans just can’t turn on and off at will. Apart from this I cannot give any answer now because this part of our life history has not been written. We talked a little more then went up to our rooms. I had just changed into my pajamas. When there was a knock on the door.
It was Ellen. I let her in. We went to bed. She thanked me for the upgrade. Before my breathing even returned to normal. She began thanking me for a wonderful week. And then thanking me for making my daughter’s wedding. An event that we approached as a couple. I was completely exhausted
Accepting the gratitude. When she thanked me for what I told the boys in the living room she stayed for breakfast which I ordered from my room. The trip home was wonderful. We arrived at my house and before leaving she kissed me deeply. I want you to know that I’m here for you
Whatever you want whenever you want. At some point I forgot why I loved you somewhere in the routine of adulthood. I forgot got how much I loved you. Leaving you was the biggest mistake I could ever make. I threw away the most precious thing I’ve ever owned Hurting You will always be
The biggest regret of my life. And I wish I could just turn back time. Anyway anytime. Just let me know. Do you want a friend to play tennis Call me. I’m your girlfriend Need a lover. I’m your woman Have sex. Insult me. Make love to me. I’m here. I need to cook food.
I’ll cook it. I will clean fold your laundry wash the dishes and windows. I will never ask or expect exclusivity. I know I have given that up but if you ever ask the answer is yes boyfriend girlfriend lover wife. Just ask. Thank you for being. So you’ve been so wonderful.
And if you ever decide to move in with someone else count on me to let her know what she’s got and that she better make you happy. Or I will wait. That’s very kind of you Ellen. I was so happy that we were able to become close again. I’m just not sure.
I’m comfortable putting labels on us. I don’t know where we’re going. I’m just happy that we’re going there together. At least part of the time I have lived with women all my life and usually followed their orders First my mom and my sister. And then right after college I married you.
I enjoy living in a home where I control the colors and level of clutter. I love cooking my own food the way I like it and having a refrigerator full of my favorite foods. I enjoy being in a band. And I admit it was nice to have an open sex life.
I don’t plan on changing that anytime soon. Do you remember the note I wrote in response to your letter. Yes you wrote that. I was right. Thanked me and said goodbye. You didn’t even sign it with love. I meant every word. In that note. You were right.
We were tired and needed a change. The words of gratitude and farewell were sincere. Anything to do with love would be irrelevant and superficial. Any other thing I could say would either be just mean or make me look like a begging whining weakling. I’m not very good at all of this. So
I wrote what needed to be written and stopped. What should I write now Tom Nothing. I’ve shown you everything you need to know. Yes it is. You showed me that. You care. You showed me that you still find me attractive and even sexy You showed me that you want me.
You will be there for me. When it comes to children. You showed that. You love me. More than a casual lover Enough even to share dinner and breakfast with me. You enjoy my company enough to date me. You respect me and our history. Enough to promote me to first-grade.
Pay for our daughter’s wedding in full. Without asking me for a dime and announce to our sons that I am the love of your life. The only thing that seems to be missing is a more-fulfilling role being your wife. I want you to know that I understand this
And will never pressure you on this topic. I know it was my fault that I lost it but understand that if you ever decide to ask the answer in advance will be yes. And I will pray every day of my life for the opportunity to say it. She kissed me. Good night.
Of course I thought about what she said. But come on come on for real. Why stop at one woman I had the world in my hands my own home. My kids grown financial comfort An ex-wife dedicated to getting me back. Who by her own admission would do anything at any time.
A toned body and all my hair. A combination of a hot band and a Harley and an endless supply of women. Who wanted to jump on the back of my motorcycle and ride to the party and make love to me after the party. Oh sure. I loved Ellen Enough and she was
Someone to share my golden years with. Maybe I’ll change my mind when we’re 60. But not. Now. I didn’t write dear Jeff. So I didn’t feel responsible for the consequences. I forgave her. I made peace with her. I put my life in order so I picked up the phone and called that bust.
Blonde who had climbed onto a Harley after the street festival and became my first entertainment since the divorce. She giggled into the-phone when I asked her if she was serious about never taking my calls again she assured me that she was fine And walking again and invited me to come over right away.
Even when I got a harley to go to her I knew that someday I would ask Ellen to marry me again. But this was not that day.