NY’s Race To Replace George Santos | Lara Trump For RNC Co-Chair? | Sweethearts For Situationships

Snowy weather may have suppressed turnout in New York’s special election to replace Rep. George Santos, Donald Trump wants to install his daughter-in-law as co-chair of the RNC, and there are new candy hearts for people in unconventional relationships. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue

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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

[Applause] welcome welcome one and all to The Late Show I’m your host Steven colar I want to thank everyone I want to thank everyone and this Brave audience right here everyone in this audience who braved the cold outside to come in here and be even colder because cuz today New York City was

Pummeled by a nor Easter including a heavy dusting on the Marquee at the Ed salivan theater leading up to uh This Storm officials forecasted up to 8 in of snow no of course as is usually the case that 8 in is more like a confident five but know what they say know

They you know what they say it’s not about the depth of the snow it’s how you plow it back in thank you back in the day uh snow used to mean no school but not anymore because instead in New York students had a remote learning day as in the chances of learning

Remote the uh the early morning snowstorm uh is this true it depressed turnout in a very important special election today in New York the race to replace George Santos the candidates for that long island seat are Republican Mazy pilip and Democrat Tom swazi it’s a showdown we’re calling Mazi V swazi

Democracy kamakazi on Long AI the Republican it’s going to catch on the no that’s okay doesn’t deserve that the Republican has an unusual resume she’s a local legislator and a registered Democrat a republican who’s a Democrat Thanksgiving must be really hard she gets in a fight with herself

And sneaks away from herself to get high in the garage we don’t know the results yet right we don’t know anything because we recorded this earlier okay but we do know the race was tight and the stakes are high the GOP has this razor thin majority in the House of Representatives

And they need all the votes they can get for their election your Ambitions to impeach Alejandro mayorcas or even President Biden long Islanders could decide the fate of Congress explains the first bill that swasi has promised to pass HR 273 The Beatles couldn’t hold Billy Joel’s freaking jock

Strap now a lot of people are looking at this as a bellweather for the presidential election one Republican voter described her priorities I supported Mazi because I think she’s a little tougher on crime and to be honest with you that’s what the whole country is afraid of the crime we don’t care

About democracy that’s already done we don’t care about democracy Donald Trump I think I found your new VP now that’s done the ocracy a lot of Democrats voted early in this election so Republicans needed a big turnout today which is why they hatched a brilliant plan to get voters

To the polls even in the snow Republicans here say if voters can’t get to the polls they have monster trucks that they’re ready to pick them up and get them to the polls oh yeah this Tuesday Tuesday Tuesday it’s special election Monster Jam live from Long Island featuring the

Infranor El Bal Loco and Governor Kathy hurus oh oh oh uh to quote the four words most often used to cancel vacations there’s some covid news we just learned that the CDC plans to drop its 5-day covid isolation guidelines what no isolation you’ve been telling us

For years that we need to be mindful of infecting our friends and neighbors they also announced this new CDC slogan JK lws one of the reasons why this is such big news is because it’s the first loosening of covid isolation recommendations since 2021 which is when they told us it was

Finally okay to leave our personal human hamster balls so what do the guidelines actually say well from now on you are free to go back to your life if you’re fever free for at least 24 hours without the aid of medication and your symptoms are mild and improving so remember when you’re

Riding in the elevator with Todd from accounting and he’s coughing all all the way to the 10th floor it’s fine as long as he was worse yesterday there there there’s going to be a a new person what else has changed is this the the there’s going to be a

New person overseeing elections for the GOP soon because reportedly R McDaniel is stepping down as chair of the Republican National Committee and Donald Trump wants to replace her with North Carolina GOP chair and cooworker who just found out there was an office Christmas party last year Michael Wat

But the really interesting story here is who Trump reportedly wants to make co-chair cuz it’s none other than his daughter-in-law and woman who thought get out was a romcom Lara Trump now many folks are saying this Choice reeks of corruption and in response to her critics Lara released this statement will

I back down no I W Back Down Still slaps and in I feel like I’m being slapped Trump said this about the endorsement Lara is an extremely talented communicator and is dedicated all that Maga stands for she has told me she wants to accept this Challenge and

Would be great every penny will be used properly yes it’s true every penny will be used every penny no listen no folks listen up listen every penny look every every penny will be used properly all the folding money will be misappropriated because Daddy’s got legal

Bills I say why stop with Lara a future Trump Administration who could have Jared as Chief of Staff vonka as ambassador to the UN and Don Jr is head of the DEA the drug enjoyment agency uh folks are still rattled by Trump’s statement that he would

Encourage Russia to do what it wanted to our NATO allies and and I’m being told right now that Putin has pushed France out of a window well now we have an update from former National Security adviser and Colonel Sanders brother who went to Kentucky Fried law school John Bolton in

An upcoming book Bolton predicts that if Trump is elected NATO would be in real Jeopardy I think he would try to get out and you know he wouldn’t do it to their face he would just send Nato one of those Pizza Hut breakup pizzas this is such a shocking idea the

President Biden took a break from succumbing to entropy to express his opinion it’s dumb it’s shameful it’s dangerous it’s unamerican strong words Joe and coincidentally Trump’s new campaign slogan oh the uh the ratings are in from the Super Bowl and it was super in fact Super Bowl 58 was the most watched

Program ever it’s no surprise wow wow no surprise you had your football fans plus all the folks tuning in to catch a glimpse of a global Mega star tracker tracker your glasses were on top of your head the whole time the game was watched by 123.4mi gr today’s Marty gr my

Friends happy Marty gr happy Marty gr tomorrow is Ash Wednesday day the first day of Lent which this year falls on Valentine’s Day which explains why one of the most popular gifts for Catholic lovers is an empty box with a note you gave up chocolate for Lent and that is actually a budget

Conscious choice this year because cocoa prices have spiked to an all-time high you can learn all about it in the new Netflix crime drama Nar Cocos but the biggest candy news this holiday is that sweethearts is updating its famous Valentine’s conversation heart candy fingers crossed they finally

Found the perfect ratio of chalk to baby powder the actual change is to the text of the candy sweethearts will now offer special hearts with messages for people who are in situationships now if if if you’re if you’re not sure if your relationship is a situationship it’s a

Situationship or if you add a third person a manaja whateves the new situationship candy hearts look like this with the tagline messages as blurry as your relationship first of all blurry text is a copout they’re clearly trying to unload all their misprints second there are plenty of messages that could

Accurately describe your situationship like miss you when drunk we’re bored and both home for the holidays and I will never know your middle name we got a great show for you tonight my guests are Matt Damon and ghost Danielle pen and when we come back space new stick [Applause] Around