HOW TO BE YOUR OWN VALENTINE !! 💌 3 steps to self-love and spirituality

happy valentine’s, sweet friends!! 🌷 if you’re learning a language, join a Lingoda Language Sprint like me and experience the joy of connecting with people globally. click my link to find out more and use code JADEFEB for an additional 20€ off! https://try.lingoda.com/JadeFebruary

Timestamps:
00:00 why your “self” is a malleable story
1:27 i did it! i love myself!!! more than i ever have!
2:46 how to be your own valentine: thoughts, actions, community
3:06 step 1: thoughts
6:32 step 2: actions
7:37 investing in my own learning and growth (german lessons!)
10:48 the power of challenging yourself
13:18 step 3: community
14:53 how are you investing in yourself this valentine’s?
16:01 my casual magic today
16:13 comment something you love about yourself!!

some of the books I’d recommend:
Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself
Period Power by Maisie Hill
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Mindset by Carol Dweck
Daring Greatly by Brenee Brown
Atomic Habits by James Clear

#sprint202402

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🌞 MORE 🌞
Casual Magic of the Day: my sweet dog Willow being SO excited to see me when I came downstairs this morning 🥹
Song of the Day: Ra Ma da Sa (mantra)
Currently Reading: One Day (and the series is sooo good too!!)
What are YOU grateful for today?

FAQ:
How old are you? ~ 23
Where are you from? ~ The UK! Near London.
Where do you go to university? ~ Minerva Schools at KGI
One of the best decisions you ever made? ~ Taking a gap year!

CURRENT FAVOURITES — things I love recently (these are all affiliate links):
Laptop stand: https://tinyurl.com/y7fvdglm
My beloved ukulele: https://amzn.to/3niJzht
My vegan Doc Marten boots: https://amzn.to/2Uf7ySb
Pip and Nut Almond Butter: https://amzn.to/3eSEOaG
Lifechanging productivity app Notion (free!): https://www.notion.so
Two of my fave hair products: https://amzn.to/32ZlLX6 and https://amzn.to/32ZlLX6
I also love the Chrome extension Momentum!: https://tinyurl.com/ped7kbq

if no one has told you today, you are enough. 💛

Last year I did a 10day silent Meditation Retreat where I meditated for 12 hours a day I wasn’t allowed to speak or make eye contact with people or use my phone or write and it was truly the hardest thing I’ve ever done but what it taught me was to dispel this illusion

That we have of self when you really just observe yourself You observe your thoughts your feelings the sensations in your body the sounds that you here you realize that that is all that any of us really are we are all just Consciousness so when we say we don’t like ourselves

What we’re saying is we don’t like the story that we have told ourselves about who we are we’re getting a little bit better our idea of who we are is just a combination of our thoughts our actions our relations to others our job our perceptions of our s within Society how

We look but the true us is literally just Consciousness and so the older I get the more malleable that I realize our sense of self is it is literally just a story one that you can’t even imagine not believing but if you can disconnect from the stories you tell

Yourself about who you are you can create a new one that you love and you literally have all the answers within you guys I truly don’t think I have ever loved myself more like if you have been watching me all of these years wow this

Is the version of Jade who is the most rooted in herself this Jade has the healthiest relationship with my body that I’ve ever had like I have been the person who sits in the bath and pinches the rolls of fat on my stomach and feels disgusted with myself or you know i’

I’ve I’ve experienced wearing clothes and feeling so frumpy and so not confident and compar comparing myself to others of following all these people on social media who don’t serve me and actually make me feel worse about myself but now no matter how my body fluctuates

I truly feel fine with it I truly love my body and that is crazy like I’ve been working my whole life for now this thing that seems so easy like I just don’t think about my body anymore what a concept this Jade is the best at setting boundaries and not people pleasing which

Is a shock this Jade doesn’t Define her sense of selfworth in grades or achievements or numbers and Views in the way that baby Jade definitely did this Jade cares less about impressing others this Jade is her own Valentine and so I want to empower you to be able to view

Yourself as your own Valentine too so whether you’re in a relationship or not welcome to how to be your own Valentine I’ve broken down all my self- Lov secrets into three main things your thoughts your actions your community I truly believe if you follow these three

Things get them all right you you will love yourself in a real and deep way not just like a self-care in the bath girly kind of way guys what we think we become let me say that again what we think we become so the entire way that we are starts

With the story that we’re telling ourselves about who we are the way that you’re judging others is the way that you’re judging yourself deciding to go for your dream job or not starts with self-belief on whether you think you’re worthy of that job or not getting into a

Toxic relationship is a product of what you secretly think you deserve bad decisions just come from all these unhealed patterns of thought guys I did cognitive science let me tell you about this thing called long-term potentiation the more we think the same negative thoughts the stronger those neural

Pathways get and so the easier it is to think along those same neural Pathways again the easier it is to keep thinking those negative thoughts so it is literally addictive is literally easy to keep thinking negative thoughts about yourself like you have to consciously break it because your brain isn’t going

To do it for you so how do we break it we’ve got to rewrite some new neural Pathways with some more positive thought patterns your brain is so malleable but you’ve got to do the work this looks like journaling you’ve heard it all before but let me tell you why it is

Important you start writing down your streams of Consciousness right you’re like oh my God why am I writing this and oh my God this happened yesterday and oh my God I’m stressed about this and you’re just writing whatever’s coming to mind you do it without judgment and then you take a set back

And you give it a little read and you start to realize the patterns that you are telling yourself subconsciously every single day about your life I remember in secondary school I had all this resentment towards one of my friends and I just kind of wanted to distance myself from her I like felt

Really angry so easily and I was just trapped in this cycle of resentment and I thought it was all her fault but then when I got myself to write down all my experiences with this girl I realized that I was actually just quite jealous of her and she made me feel insecure

Because she had so many things that I wanted it wasn’t even that I was angry with her it was just unhealed parts of myself that got triggered around her I notic I kept using words like oh it’s so unfair and like comparing myself to her

And I was like oh Jade like that is L true jealousy and when you start to see that you start to identify those thoughts you can start rewriting them like I would force myself to write things like I am beautiful and I’m worthy of Love even if I don’t have this

Thing that she has and oh this happened and she did this thing but it’s probably not her fault and she’s probably doing it with kindness or she’s struggling in XY Z way like I was just trying to have compassion and empathy for her and compassion and empathy always makes you

Feel better when it comes to your thoughts if journaling is not enough please pair it with some therapy therapy is the the hot thing of the youth I love my gen Z because we’re fine with therapy like therapy does not have the taboo that it had in so many other generations

And that is such a win for mental health everywhere in therapy you can learn the causes of so many of your thought patterns whether it was caused by people or relationships or events in your life and you start to learn how you can choose to be a product of them or not I

Also recommend reading any of the books on the screen right now and they have really helped me develop my own thoughts towards loving myself okay but if your thoughts about yourself aren’t always Rosy that is okay that is so fine but what you can choose

To do is to act in a way which shows yourself that you love yourself to slowly help change your thoughts I’m talking Basics like if your brain is saying oh my God I hate myself oh my God I’m So Unworthy of love but every single day you are taking care of your health

I’m talking Basics you know getting your sleep eating your vegetables doing a bit of five a day going out and exercising dragging yourself to the gym like even if your brain says I don’t love myself your actions are proving that you do and so over time you’re giving your brain

All this evidence as to why you love yourself and slowly your thoughts begin to change too and actions looks like so many things like I really recommend investing in your own growth and learning if you watch my goals for the year video you would know that I am

Learning German this year I’m like really committing to it and it feels so good like I get out of my classes and I’m like wow I’m literally investing in this goal that I’ve had forever my language learning progress in the last 3 weeks has been insane hello Is because I’m committing to it and I’m building routines around it and yeah it just it feels like yes Jade like you love yourself like you are making these things you want to do a priority I’m learning German using the incredible online language learning school lingoda I rave about lingoda to everyone

Literally all my close friends have done language learning sprints on there my brother’s done one I talk about it to Strangers Like if you want to learn a language it is in my opinion the absolute best way that you can learn one they have English business English

French German and Spanish and you take small online group classes with a native speaking teacher and a few people from all around the world and you do interactive exercises in the target language it gets you speaking you have your pronunciation corrected and it’s just brilliant like it’s so amazing cuz

It gets you speaking it gets you conversational from the start I’m going to hint at my tea so my love life may or may not intersect with German in some capacity and hence I am extremely motivated to learn German um but like let me tell you guys learning a language

That opens up new connections new friendships new romantic options like you literally broaden your entire ability to meet cool people in this world through learning a language so that is investing in you and your future and your happiness if you are interested in learning a language and investing in

Your own growth I can’t recommend loder enough they have this thing called a Sprint model where you can have a class every day or every other day for 60 days and if you complete all your classes you can get up to 50% of your money back or

You can get credits for like more classes in the future to keep learning and I’ve got a cheeky little discount for you which is amazing if you use the code Jade Fab you can get an additional €20 off which is amazing and who knows if we’re the same level of German maybe

You’ll see me in the classes cuz I am actively taking them thank you so much lingoda for sponsoring today’s video okay guys other ways that you can invest in yourself is reading books about you know things you’re interested in in the world expanding your knowledge that is a

Hot girl activity dream big take on new projects that are scary and are challenging because even if it’s hard you’re literally proving that you love yourself and you believe in yourself by taking them on whether it’s working hard at school or University or investing in your professional development and your

Linked In like there’s so many ways learning new skills I really feel so proud of myself in this area because I think of myself at like 15 where I was so terrified to even and get the tube in London or to like take a bus alone it

Terrified me I’d never lived in a city either so every time I went to the city I was like I don’t know how things work but now because I challenged myself I studied abroad I’ve been learning languages I’ve been reading I’ve been you know allowing myself to be wrong

Like to debate ideas I just I feel like my growth has been so exponential in the last few years and so it’s really hard to say that I don’t love myself because my actions show otherwise like I’m proving to myself that I love myself and that’s really nice taking action can

Also look like speaking up for yourself especially in difficult scenarios my first ever relationship was very toxic and I was very belittled in this situation I lost all my sense of confidence I stopped filming videos I hated my body like it was just the worst EXP experience ever but I think what was

More painful than my relationship with him was my relationship with myself because I never advocated for myself like I never told him things that annoyed me or made me feel rubbish like I just went along with it and you know toxic relationships can do that they

Make you yeah lose your sense of who you are so I didn’t I don’t blame myself but if I had just advocated for myself I would have been slowly showing myself that I am my priority and I wish I’d done that but I know it’s hard start small just notice when something makes

You feel uncomfortable and think how would the highest most loving best version of myself act in this circumstance and then do that thing and finally number three is community and Community feels like a weird one for a self- love video right but the older I get the more I realize that people are

Not Islands we live in such an individualistic society that tells you that you basically need to heal yourself you can only love others to the extent which you love yourself I think that is a lie I don’t think that we need to fully heal our relationship with

Ourselves before we can let others in I actually think it’s the opposite I think the more that you let other people in and guide you the more personal growth and love you will have for yourself because you can see their love for you mirrored back in yourself this is why

You need to craft the people around you so cleverly you want everyone to be contributing to your life in a positive way you want people who uplift you you want people who give you energy because truly if you don’t like something about yourself but someone close to you says I

Love that thing about you like maybe you don’t like your hips and then your partner says I’m obsessed with your hips like let me tell you that’s going to change something in the brain chemistry because you’re going to start to see that thing differently and it’s going to

Be validated and you’re going to start to love it because you can see why other people love it so give love to others invest in good people and allow them to invest in your self- love Journey too oh I love good people I love love I love it

I love it in every single form I love platonic love I love familial love I love romantic love and I especially love the love that we cultivate for ourselves this Valentine’s Day no matter how you are sharing love with the world please remind yourself to give yourself some

Love too doesn’t need to be a dramatic date it can look like reading a book that you’ve been wanting to read for ages it can look like starting your language learning Journey with lingoda if you always wanted to learn a language it can look like spending time with a

Good friend it can look like literally anything but just invest invest in this goodness keep stepping into your Radiance because believe it or not all the answers that you need are within you don’t listen to me listen to you I honestly never believed that I would

Feel like I can say I really love myself I just I didn’t know that could happen um but I really like worked at it and one day it just happens like it’s this intangible thing one day you wake up and you’ll realize you just are happy with

Yourself in your life and that feels really amazing so yeah keep going if you’re not there yet I promise it will come because you deserve all the goodness and love in the world oh my casual magic for today is these cute gloves that my friend crocheted for me I

Think they’re adorable and I love handmade things if you made it to this point in the video comment down below something that you love about yourself oh I know an uncomfortable thing but if you do that I will do my best to reply to as many of you as possible and be the

Validation that you need to be like that is so beautiful that you love this thing about yourself I love that have an amazing recipe your day guys bye