Alfie Boe: ‘You have to live in the NOW! ‘| Spooning with Mark Wogan

Welcome to Spooning with Mark Wogan

In this episode, Mark is joined by singer Alfie Boe to talk about the foods that he thinks he loves and the food that he thinks he hates.

Plus, Alfie opens up about his time in rehab after his marriage breakdown and the imposter syndrome that puts pressure on his internal alarm along with the coping mechanisms he has put into place.

Alfie’s new book, Face The Music Is out to buy now.

This podcast was recorded at The Mount Street Restaurant in Mayfair with dishes cooked by Executive Chef James Shears.

New episodes every Thursday!

Producer: Johnny Seifert
Filming and Editing: Rory Edwards and Chris Jacobs
Youtube: Search Spooning With Mark Wogan to watch the full episode with bonus content
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As a performer I’m constantly Paranoid on what people think of me and then I have this internal alarm that starts to beep at me and it says what people think of you is none of your business throwing pillars down my throat was one of the biggest things I hate to use the word

Regret because I haven’t got time to regret the mistakes I’ve learned from hello and welcome to spooning with me Mark wogan each week my special guests would join me and we will feed them something they say they love and something they think they hate food is produced here at the mount

Street restaurant in Mayfair by executive chef Jamie shears now this week’s guest is the voice the talent and now author Alfie Bo welcome Al how you doing Mark I’m very good how are you I’m really good thank you now you’ve written a book I have in

In in crayon yeah well that P is face the music face the music now I’ve read this book and it and it’s it’s really moving in parts thank you thank you I mean you’ve really been very authentic and honest about who you are and what your life has been like because it starts

Off you know I mean you’re Alfie bow you know the man who appears to have nailed it in life you know you’re living in Salt Lake City you’re playing all over the world I mean there’s a couple of major name drops in there as well Alfie

I mean I mean people who can count the queen and colen Powell as mates has definitely gone somewhere in life wouldn’t you say I’m very fortunate that to have to have had the opportunity to meet those people you know the queen especially um what a lovely lady

Incredible and colon was a great friend it was like when you when I first met him it’s like we’ve known each other for years it’s just as simple as that and that came about because you were invited having played on Broadway you were invited to sing at the memorial concerts

Every year which celebrates the the veterans in America that’s right it’s the equivalent of um the Festival of remembrance that we have here in the UK uh it’s their version of that and it’s the it’s a wonderful event it’s the Memorial Day concert and it’s outside

The capital in in Washington DC and they get some amazing artists some like Hollywood actors you know Legends of music you know the last time I was there I was with the well I was doing a tribute to colon but the the time before that I was with the Beach Boys and it

Was just I mean guys that I listened to on my headphones cycling up and down Fleetwood beach in Lancashire as a kid so a boy from Fleetwood which for those who don’t know is a is a fishing port that’s right yeah um family of nine y

Your parents are very busy they were no television and and a uh would it be fair to say a strict Catholic Irish Catholic mother absolutely I’ve got one of those yeah very strong very strict Irish Catholic mother I mean it was it was it was a good childhood though you know I

Loved it I mean being the youngest of nine is very different than being the youngest of a smaller family you know I was in the middle you were in the middle so when when the ninth come comes along you know you sort of left your own

Devices you know you brought up by your your older siblings you know that sort of thing um you know my dad my parents were very Hands-On as well but you know it was sort of like open the back door go in the garden come in when your

Dinner’s ready you know that sort of thing talking about this you know when I was 9 10 11 yeah I’d get on my bike yeah I’d Disappear for the whole day and as long as I was back before Sundown there was no problem and there was no mobile

Phones and nobody worried no that was it and now it’s like you know if my son who’s now 16 doesn’t call within the hour we’re all going where is he and we’re following him on Life 360 his phone going where is he oh he’s arrived

Where he said he’s supposed to be yeah I mean it does all feel a bit nuts though I I just wonder whether you know the the way the world has gone socially and the apps that you can get and whether it’s taken away an element of Independence

And an element of self awareness and that you know grit bit of grit yeah exactly bit of grit in our tee every so often now your mother yes good cook bad cook she was good it’s funny this this question particularly men are terrified of answer

So I can see me Mom stood there like that what you going to say you know she’s 90 92 this year wow um but she she was a good cook but she was she was I don’t know the the beef that I had to eat in stews and things had been

Cooked for like days you know so it was it was stringy and a little bit tough and dry and probably I mean coming from a Cook’s point of view maybe not actually long enough no maybe not exactly and there was a story about she served you off fish oh my goodness we

Had this um sounds funny but do you know do you know like the ray knobs do you know you can get rain knobs um it’s a part of the fish it’s the part of the fish it’s not not actually the actual knob but she was she she’d baked these

Or fried them or something but they were they’d gone off so they tasted of uh armonia they were off they were off so for me I thought because I’ve never had them before almonia has a sort of how can I describe it like a really strong nasty minty taste to it or something

It’s like sniffing bleach yeah yeah and it was oh my goodness it was disgusting and I thought that they were supposed to taste like that and I didn’t want to complain until I’d eaten at least two of them mom I can’t eat any more of this

And she smelled them and she no I don’t think can she took so she wasn’t eating them herself no nice nice so you grew up family of nine which is an enormous family did did you find it I mean you ended up with a voice but did you find

It hard to find your voice in the family being I mean you I got from the book that you quite enjoyed a bit of solitude or or you definitely removed yourself from a bit of the noise involved in a family that size I did I did in a way I

Did spend a lot of time in the garden a lot of time creating and building up adventures and that sort of thing and and and so I did find my own entertainment but when I sort of had the opportunity to tell my stories or show

My my Creations or or whatever it was I used to I really did used to wait until everybody was paying attention to be able and I think that’s just naturally naturally the performer element in within me S as a kid but I just have to make sure that everybody’s attention was

100% before I did my silly dance or came out with a silly song or whatever um but yeah i’ i’ I suppose I found my voice as a singer just by the listening to my dad you know he used to sing around the house all the time and he had a good

Voice he had a really good voice yeah yeah he he was he could sing anything in a way it was sort of like he could impersonate his classic opera singers and then he could sing a Jim Reeves or a Slim Whitman Song or a Lonnie donigan

Track or something like that it was the story I love about your dad is the fact that you know he in the book really good with his hands yeah and you know if he fixed something it was never going to break exactly and then there’s the story

About at his funeral oh goodness I mean we shouldn’t laugh but is a great story funny it’s funny because I wrote it in the song you know I said in the song I’ve I’ve written about my dad it’s literally called father one of the lines

Is uh you you taught my heart to never break like the handle you left on the day of your weight and that’s literally what it was we were lowering my dad into the into the ground The Undertakers lowering him into the ground and the straps that went through

The handle literally snapped off the handle and it came flying out and landed at on my at the feet of my me and my mother and with everybody was like oh what do we say what do we say and it was like the only thing you could say is if

My dad put that on that wouldn’t have come off you so you always had a great relationship with your parents and and your extended family and you you I mean people are pretty familiar with the story of how you came to prominence yeah and you know as we touched on at the

Beginning this extraordinary career that you that you have and how it developed from you know doing Broadway and then all the way through to the stuff that you now do with Michael and the arena tours and everything and you seem to have the world in the palm of your hand

Thank you well and then all of a sudden it all falls apart are you comfortable talking about that I mean you have done in the book I’ve written about it yeah man I’m I’m I’m more than comfy talking about it now it was a difficult time and it’s amazing what

Life throws at you um because yeah you do go you know you do get to a point where you’re working so hard and and you um are striving to be the biggest and the most successful thing on earth and and and you think and then life throws a

Curveball at you where you think you know you’ve got a lot more to learn and I did I had a hell of a lot more to learn and that’s I think what happened for me is when when I went through that dark time when I my

Marriage broke down and I I was out of the family home and drinking a lot and put in rehab and all that sort of business and it wasn’t a posh rehab by the way it was a gritty one it was a um one that I needed um and

Uh it was it was a lesson it was a real lesson and and and that I quickly learned on how to carry on with my life how to get get through the mistakes I’d made you know throwing pills down my throat was one of the biggest things I

You know hate to use the word regret because I haven’t got time to regret the mistakes I’ve learned from yeah there an opportunity to to turn things around and to be there as a stronger person not just for yourself for your kids for friends that might be

Going through similar issues and in my career I suppose I’m fortunate enough to have a platform to be able to help a wider range of people and I think that’s the important thing I mean I myself have struggled with alcohol and drugs in the past I mean I’m lucky enough that I

Found a path for me that works which for me personally is AA and I do that to this day and you know 30 years later and a lot older right I’ve learned a bit about myself but I think it is that thing of I still am a work in progress do you

Feel like that as well I think if you think you’re fixed and you’re all better now that’s the danger don’t worry I’ve got this I’ve got this exactly but I mean that and it’s quite recently that this has happened for you so it’s in only in

The last couple of years as as your life took a major left sharp left turn and you’ve had to kind of find a way of putting it back onto a track that feels comfortable for you yeah what what what is daytoday like for you now because you

End the book with the chapter now now right and that’s the title of the chapter which I really like because it is about living in the now yeah what is now like like um now for me is this minute this moment in time sat at this table with you mark talking through life

And sat with a mate who you know you’ve got to really embrace the now there’s no point thinking right I’ve got to go and uh do this later on this afternoon I’m meeting up with such and such tonight tomorrow I’ve got another interview I’ve got to go and try do forget it forget

All that it might not happen happen you know it’s about waking up and living that minute living that second and making the most of it and is this stuff you’ve learned through through the trials that you’ve been through or or or was it something you always knew I think

It’s something I’ve had in my mind than I’ve that I’ve thought you know my mother used to say it all the time you know you can’t worry about yesterday cuz it’s over with you can’t worry about tomorrow because it might never happen just think about today I everybody talks

About living in the moment and certainly you know part of the AA program is it it’s it’s it’s a day at a time and and I’m sure having been through a rehab you’ve experienced 12 steps and how those work do you use those at all they’re amazing steps to to

To keep in your pocket you know and use I I do I mean it’s um it’s a it’s a great program to throw yourself in and invest in um I just think it’s easy to say you know well I’m just going to live for now I’m just going to live for this moment

Because life does throw the pressures on well I’ve got to get this prepared and I’ve got to get that prepared and you know and but preparing for something in the future is living in the now you know it might not H it might not come to fruition or whatever but at least you’ve

Done that preparation which has taught you something so it’s I mean the what they what they talk a lot about in aa’s relinquishing control or or surrendering yeah you know when when when you’re the one up on stage yeah and it’s it’s it’s ultimately all about you do you find it very

Difficult to let go of that control or is is it when you’re performing is when you feel you’re most free when I’m when I’m on stage I like to be top of my game I like to be on my game and make sure that vocally I’m putting across a good performance

Emotionally I’m putting across a good performance but there’s one thing about myself as a performer is I’ve never tried to be anyone other than myself you know I’ve always tried to show the audience the real me but as that’s changing I mean it’s obviously you’ve been through a period of change yeah do

You find the performance is changing for you as you’re going through that change as I’m discovering who I am now yeah you know and and that’s that’s just life I think we all go through changes in life where we have to re-evaluate who we are and where our goals are and what we’re

Trying to achieve in life and um yeah it does it is an ongoing process you are constantly learning new things about yourself and and and acceptance is a good thing you know the removal of expectation exactly exactly exactly yeah but the thing I struggle

With is as you kind of go well I’m just going to see what happens where’s the balance between I’m just going to see what happens and retaining your own agency in your own life yeah that’s that’s the thing that I always battle with that is a tricky tricky thing I mean

Um preparation for things is is is important you know and and and having a view of the future and all that but I like to I suppose I I see it as more um I suppose I put it in in the in the terms of visualization you know I

Play out a story sometimes in my head on where I could go and where things could go and then hand it over and let it go yeah and see if it happens but uh there’s a there’s a wonderful book and I don’t know if you’ve read it called uh

The untethered Soul right by a man called Michael Singer and one of one of the uh and it it’s very good for those of us who were raised as Irish Catholics okay I’m going to write this down right because you talked about that heavy sense of guilt and sin that sort of

Pushed into you from being a kid and and therefore when when you talk about living a more spiritual life the idea of the word God you’re like not for me than you very much I did all that as a kid didn’t work got me here thank you very

Much but this is an interesting but but one of the just what you were saying there one of the one of the things he talks about in the book one of the chapters is called learning to live with your roommate so it’s that voice that goes what are you doing Alie yeah why

Are you doing that what do they actually think of you that constant sort of dialogue that pretty much everybody’s got going on but if you attached a megaphone to it I think you’d either be arrested beaten up or intialized that voice is nuts and if you heard it talking to

Someone you led you’d go you need to stop talking how do how do you cope with that because we all have it and I think if you’ve suffered from depression or anxiety or any kind of addiction issues it’s it’s quite a loud voice at various

Points how do you cope with that on a daily basis it’s ridiculously loud and ridiculously annoying it really is um I think as a performer somebody who wants to be liked you know I’m constantly constantly sort of like Paranoid on what people think of me you

Know did I say that all right did I do this okay what are they saying when they walk out of the room after a conversation and all that sort of business and it’s like and then I have this internal alarm that starts to flash and beep at me and it says stop stop

Stop stop stop what people think of you is none of your business yeah and and then automatically I just feel I’ve done my best and I let it all go as they say you can only keep your side of the street clear exactly now being a man who has perhaps overs

Sought pleasure as an escape from from from how we’re feeling in the past you said your guilty pleasure was chocolate it certainly is now I have a I have a small challenge for you here under this one here is which way do you go with it

Are you are you are you ghetto chocolate or are you Posh chocolate no I’m definitely ghetto chocolate definitely that’s what I like toar I’m all about I’m all about dairy milk my my family think it’s hilarious at Christmas cuz I have no off switch right having the odd

Mild addiction issue you know I eat like a labrador right so it they will give me one of the you know those dairy milk kilo bars and just hand it over and sit there and watch me eat can eat the whole thing pretty much in one sitting I will

Feel terrible afterwards but I have no off switch around that so although you know I mean that that is a proper box of chocolate so even if you don’t want it you can give that to somebody else that’s very nice thank now there’s the argument that that’s not chocolate

People say white chocolate is not what because we’ve got what have we got Kit Kat dairy milk Rollo I’m I’m going straight for the rollos oh you’re a Rolo I’m a r would you give your last Rolo to somebody else who would you give your

Last roll i’ gos with it but who would it be well it would have to be my girlfriend but as soon as you’re here Mark all right well we’ll link hands later in that and share a Rolo so won’t be Michael B for a start no well I mean

He’s already had a whole pack anyway I love Michael I think he’s fantastic I mean I love the way that came together as well because it was a completely sort of organic thing and it’s turned into this sort of monster I mean you guys are selling out Arenas

What you’re on album number oh my goodness uh five or something five or six something people can’t get enough of you two together well I mean I think we have to think up another title that’s got the word together in it you know that’s the challenge that’s what keeps us going bonded

Bonded ball and b share their last Rolo together together keep putting together so on the on that theme obviously there’s cake yes and there’s you know chocolate and and do you find now that sugar is a comfort to you it is um and then my head kicks in and say

You’ve got to be careful how much you’re taking cuz I am getting older and I wanting to be 50 there you go well we are both men of a certain age you it’s it’s two middle-aged men here sitting here talking about their their chocolate addictions but I’ve got a little bit

More chocolate for you here which is so there’s there’s some lovely cake I mean you can eat any of these the whole point of the show Alie is is to eat okay so if you were going po or oh no I’ve got this here for you as well so I love this

Podcast this is great man so here what I’ve got is Jamie at the mount Street restaurant’s chocolate mousse as well so you see it’s a difficult one because I love a chocolate mousse but you know just a dirty fat chocolate chip cookie which we’ve got here as well would would

Equally satisfy would we separated at Birth I think because that’s exactly what I’d go for or or or the really heavy chocolate cake I mean that is that is like that is there’s so much chocolate cred into that cake that it’s it’s almost illegal yeah I think thing

About a cake like that is that it it’s beautiful but like the the chocolate the bitterness sometimes gets meat and then the powder stuff that they put on top yeah in other words the Posh pit yeah so then you find yourself back at the dairy back at the

Rolo or anything like that but I mean feel feel free to try any of those I will I will try the Moose the Moose does look good doesn’t it well look at that that’s light as a feather it’s it’s basically it’s not crazy it’s not really

Bad for you is it here I’m going to try some of there’s nothing bad about that at all look at that oh my God that’s like oh man this is just this is Radio silence going on that is spectac that is a well done Jamie that’s that’s that’s a

Phenomenal Mose that’s so light isn’t it yeah that’s crazy I mean it’s it’s it’s Heavenly right I’m going to pop that down there oh one last thing yes on the sugar thing you can take this with you I’ve discovered these recently and they are gamechanging as far as I’m concerned

So there’s this bakery around the corner here on Duke Street just next to selfes called arome I have no commercial ties to this i’ just like to say that’s their honey toast honey toast honey toast good honestly if if you have one of those mornings where you feel like it’s not

Going how it should that with a coffee oh my goodness that looks fabulous I mean break off yeah break off a little bit now cuz I mean it’s it’s like it’s it’s an extraordinary sort of textural thing how good is that can I swear yeah bloody hell that’s not really SAR that’s

Very polite Irish swear don’t say the bone thing that is incredible how incredible is that so I mean for the listeners it’s like a sort of light sweet bread that then has been fried in butter and honey to give it a kind of caramelized crispy

Outside oh to Hell Being Fit at 50 this is amazing it’s throwing it all the way over a honey toast great oh man that’s lovely right now I’m just going to move this stuff okay slightly out the way here you take all that chocolate home

With you can eat eat that alone at home later in your pants did you know that they’ve just started making milk chocolate digestives yes milk white chocolate dig white chocolate digestives I’m I’m a hobnob man myself though chocolate hobnob is my go-to or a golden cream a

Foxy Golden Cream that was a good that was a good now but the problem is again having no off switch I open a packet that I will finish it hold L are you the same without a doubt now it’s it’s that time Alfie okay all right for the blindfold okay oh dear

Pop that on and it is the first of your spoons okay so I’m going to slide that no I’ll feed it to you don’t worry I’m not that would be a hell of it I know you like a challenge you know we’ve seen you throw yourself into the ice right Oh this is dangerous oh no this is good this is good it’s just going to get a quick shot of that you got that right is this is this the one I like or well this is this is I can’t tell you that you you so I

I’m going to pop this in your mouth if you’ll excuse the terminology and you are going to tell me what you’re experiencing and what you’re tasting open wide okay there we go oh what are the flavors that’s like a curry or something isn’t it an Indian is it

Indian is that right what are the textures oh my goodness I mean that was a very T was it meat it was a tender meat of lamb take the blindfold off so that was monkfish Curry it wasn’t yeah seriously yeah damn so that’s one of Jamie’s dishes he’s got on the on the

On the on the menu here monk fish Cur monkfish curry with he calls it a bricklane curry sauce wow and then there’s just it’s just finished with a bit of crispy onion on the top that I mean the texture of that fish was like tender tender meat it was but you talked

You talked about cuz we tried to combine the two there so you talked about the sort of scary thing with fish with your mom but then you love chili Indian spices that’s that’s a kind of go-to FL absolutely yeah yeah I mean I I love to

Cook a lot of that stuff at home as well you know a lot of cures and I follow follow a lot of the um recipes some online where you do the roast the spices yourself you know you don’t get the jars and all that but you are a keen cook I

Love to cook I mean your signature you say which might be true for a lot of men is Sunday lunch yeah yeah my orur are good I think so so you like that you can you could easily eat the next spoon I’m going downstairs and I’m I you can have

That that’s for you there you can have that one brilliant right let’s get that out of the way and then we’re going to get on cleans your cleanse your palette Mr bow we’ve got the next one coming in there we go right you’re very keen blindfolds back on no no convincing I’m

Ready here we’ve got the next one so here we’ve got your next spoon sir okay open wide and it’s all about just immediately what hits hits your palette what hits your taste receptors what are you experiencing texture wise flavor wise that tastes like well texture wise it feels like a like ay or

Something yeah you’ve nailed it take that off so what I loved one of your food stories was going and cooking with the great Mama G yeah and and and learning about Italian food yeah but what I didn’t understand was you said your ingredients that you kind of didn’t like

Were th and bay leaf and Sage which we’ve got now did the sage upset you in that no not at all no that tasted incredible I think it cuz it was maybe when I was growing up time and and and and all that and all those sort of I

Hate to say boring herbs they’re not boring no there some of the Great herbs known I know I know they’re the they’re the foundation of herbs and stuff but I mean it’s it’s the way that we were probably used when I was a kid you know we’re slowly getting round to the fact

That you’re saying your mom wasn’t good cook can we delete that sorry she was a great she was a lovely and she knew what to do with sage like crazy so talk to me about that experience cuz that sounds fantastic cuz that’s one of those places tell us about

That cuz you can go there you can I mean you can book Mama Agata she’s wonderful Italian lady she if she deeps deep fries anything in a pan of oil she’ll use her hands to take it out you know that’s how you know as absolutely and she runs this cooking

School called the hidden treasure and it’s in rello and you think you know you turn up and you think you you’re going to get hands on with with with cooking proper Italian food you turn up at 9:00 in the morning and they’re there and they’ve got coffee and lemon drizzle

Cake and pastries and you you start with that and then then you go into her kitchen you’re given an apron with hidden treasure Mama Agata and you’re given an apron you go into the kitchen and she cooks um but it’s actually just in her kitchen in her kitchen yeah and

It’s overlooking the whole of the Adriatic and it’s it’s gorgeous and she’s um takes you through lemon chicken egg parmesan how to how to make a marinar sauce you don’t actually um cook anything you just stand in the kitchen and watch her and then eat it all afterwards not really a cookery store

It’s not really a cookery store they sell it as a cookery School I’ve always looked at it online thought well that’d be nice to go dumy to do it sounds lovely it’s great sounds lovely and sounds much better than throwing yourself into ice which is something you like to do every

Day I do like to do that yeah yes I do um do you like a bit of danger I’d like to I like I like challenges yeah you know I think there’s a there’s a big difference with with with danger and challenges I like pushing myself as far

As I can go and seeing if I’m capable if I’m not capable of it and and I don’t the word acceptance comes back in it’s like I’ve had a go um because we all saw you do freeze the fear yeah which for the uninitiated looks like a horrific

Thing to do but we’re both as we discussed before we started doing this we both like to throw ourselves in ice water on a regular basis exactly why do you do it for me it what it does for me it it it forces me it’s not about putting your

Body through pain not about putting your body through the the the the actual physical connection with ice water even though it does stimulate some neurological cells in your head it just does give you this element of confidence I don’t know what it how it does it but Wim Hoff knows all

The scientific details about it but for me it forces me to relax it puts me in a state where I have to breathe to combat the dramatic temperature change it makes me slow down or just takes you out of self exactly yeah which I’m sensing is somewhere you still struggled

To be a bit yeah yeah I mean I as the years have gone on the and the more I performed people always say to me um when you finish a show you must be so on a high and you must be like partying and wanting to go

Out wanting to do this and hang out and staying up till all hours in the morning the older I’ve got and the more responsibilities in life that have come across my table like my my children and my relationships and my family my brothers and sisters that I’ve

Acknowledged are still a huge part of my life um I’ve always known that my children are a huge part of my life but um I’m a I’m able to very quickly disconnect from that performance world my job in a way and come straight back to reality with my feet on the ground

And ready to have a cup of tea you know watch an episode of Dad’s Army or whatever it is and go to bed you know I love the idea that you sing to 15,000 people and go home drink a cup of tea and watch Dad’s Army it’s not exactly

Rock and roll but I suppose we’re all a bit older we’re all a bit older now well listen thank you so much for joining us today pleas it’s been really lovely to chat to you and I hope that your journey of Discovery continues on the trajectory

That you want like and it’s been really lovely to meet you thank you big thanks to Alfie Bo his book face the music is out now that’s spooning over for another week but we’ll return before you know it with another guest to find out about the

Food they love and the food they think they hate my thanks to Jamie shears and the team here at Mount Street for the Fantastic spoons I think you enjoyed them would you absolutely if you like what we’re doing here at spooning please follow spooning with Mark wogan through

All your social media channels and don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel as well I’ll see you next week you beautiful people