I Robbed my Cat Charity of €27,500 to feed my Gambling Addiction! with Eoin Collins

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Eoin Collins, who bravely shares his journey from viewing gambling as a social pastime to the harrowing moments of using funds meant for a cat charity to fuel his bets. Eoin’s sheds light on the slippery slope of addiction and the startling transformation from leisure to obsession.

Remember, if you or someone you know needs support with gambling addiction, here are some helpful gambling addiction helplines and sites:

GamCare: Visit www.gamcare.org.uk or call the helpline at 0808 8020 133.
BeGambleAware: Access resources at www.begambleaware.org or call the National Gambling Helpline at 0808 8020 133.
Gambling Therapy: Find support at www.gamblingtherapy.org to connect with a community and access resources for overcoming gambling addiction.

Welcome back guys to the bear and Scully podcast with me Sean scolan AKA Scully om AKA The Bear Eden the face for radio behind the scenes and today we are joined with on Collins welcome to the show Cheers thanks Lads thanks I just want to start off with a St P but two

Ons don’t make a right before we I heard that before before we get going guys just remember to click subscribe and leave us a we review if you’re listening on Spotify or apple podcast or on your Amazon Alexa and just to mess with you Alexa hey Alex play Burns Scully

Podcast that sounds a but anyway enough messing right welcome up you’re right out J to get up this far yeah a bit of a track right yeah so let’s just jump in find out a we bit about you and where you from and uh uh well at the moment

I’m living in Mitchell toown in Cork um originally from Middleton uh lived in Cork All My Life um yeah so just traveled up from Cork for this one Brant Brant this will be like one of those podcast where they need need subtes for me and subtes for you yeah most likely

Yeah uh no so oh and look today and guys before we get into it we’re going to cover uh gambling and owens’s gambling addiction and we’re going to cover that and and all the all the the goes with that but for some of you that are experiencing problems at the minute or

Are being gripped by the the addiction we will be including links below for anyone wants to reach out and grab some help so it’ll be in the the description below but on look I do want to thank you for coming up I know you’re now in a position where you have been talking

About and you’ve been an advocate on social media and and champion on which is absolutely brilliant and that’s why we want you here we want but more before we’re at where we are now we want to give people an idea and understanding of what it’s like you know some people have

This is the problem with different addictions people have a view of what they think it is and and and how it is but people don’t understand addictions so that’s why we want to have you on on and and and talk about it and get an idea of from how your mindset was that

Before we go all the way into that how how did it all come about and what what age did you you um so I suppose I started gambling when I was 16 but uh like obviously before that you know I I was living in Middleton um we grew up in

Foster care so my whole family my brothers my sisters um we all grew up in Middleton we we went there I think I was seven um roughly seven when I went into foster care so we were all kept together um but you know we had issues in the

Family with addiction through my parents and through their parents and so on like that so it’s kind of been intertwined in my family for for as long as I remember um we I suppose I started gambling at 16 um and it kind of took over from that

Really it’s within about a year I knew I had a problem but I i’ never had an issue or got myself in enough trouble that I kind of thought right I have to stop so it kind of kept going from there what type of gambling was it you were

Doing football football that was it so it was the pools then yeah so it started off with uh you know your fiveyear accumulator um going in with your friends on a weekday go betting on the Champions League or the Premiership at the end of the weekend or you know it

Just started with that um and I’d say within three months I was already borrowing money to to to fund it because I was only working part time and pretty much everything I was earning at the time was going straight at the gambling then so you found that at the start

Being a social thing you know Social Gambling oh 100% like I was in four year when I started um in the Middleton CBS and some of my friends had already been kind of introduced to gambling they were you know putting on five or ten or here

And there I got invited on to one of my lunch breaks and that was it like it was I was hooked instantly I didn’t win the first bet cuz you hear that a lot that oh I won my first bet and that’s why I got hooked I didn’t it was just uh the

Kind of buzz I was getting off it you know that close even if the BET lost it it still gives you something back you know what I mean um so fourth year is Young what is the actual I know like there’s always that we bit of the gray

Air but what is the legal age in in the South to to yamber 18 18 so there was a we but yeah I would have been 16 but back then gambling like gambling has changed completely in the last few years like with the online side of things and

Stuff like that they have become stricter in terms of ID and stuff like that but all we had to do was put a jacket off a jumper school jumper and we were getting served inside the shop so and and that is to me that’s that’s mad but there’s almost like there’s a change

In mind shift on gambling and the wareness about it that back then it was like actually that’s Grand you know yeah Tak P here back then like my foster parents at the time knew that I was gambling um I didn’t hide it but they obviously they thought it was like a f

Or tener and that was you know um but back then it wasn’t really a big issue to people around the place they didn’t really take much notice of it like no would come chasing us out of The Bookies even if we had our school jump Rand you

Know what I mean it wasn’t really well it wasn’t how so with being in foster care and and you were you were doing that how how were you fund it were you working or yeah so I was working in um Super Value the local Super Value

Middleton um so I was doing about I’d say about 20 hours at the time a week so it was giving me enough that I could keep tipping away like and that’s when I started borrowing money off friends as well um and that’s that’s when it all

Went to went to PO really um can you tell me a we bit about how it felt because I don’t know anything about Gamblin I couldn’t even write it a d for a horse but you know the way they say you get that release of dopamine yeah

You know is that what it was like for you like you’re saying even the first time you gambled you didn’t win yeah and for me I’m like oh it has to be whenever they they get that first win and that’s them hooked yeah but it obviously wasn’t

For you um no uh it was I don’t know I suppose now that I look back in it now after doing I’ve gone through counseling and stuff like that to deal with the addiction side of it but also to do with my upbringing and all that sort of stuff

Um I suppose it was kind of just filling a gap for me was it make me feel good if that makes sense even if you lost it didn’t you know cuz you’d always be close and that’s that’s all you kind of need if if you struggle with addiction

You just need that little keep kind of thing to keep drawing your back if that makes sense you know um so I how I felt then I I can’t really tell you all I just wanted to do was put on the next bet um I did win I think it was probably

My fourth or fifth bet and back then it was it was a lot of money for me it was like two or 300 quid um Euro um so yeah it’s it’s the it’s the chance of winning that kind of draws you back every time like yeah yeah and the house is always

The winner yeah every single time like I people ask me now on my Tik Tok page and stuff like oh you know like why didn’t you stop when you won big or anything like that cuz people think the gambling addicts always lose it’s not true at all

Like there’ be there could be months where you could be sitting with 10 grand 20 grand in your account it’s not the money like the money doesn’t matter um I always find it strange as well and and I know that it’s the case that people that gamble only talk about the wins they

Don’t talk about the losses yeah no I’m not a gambler still can’t say but it it always baffled me I was like why does why does people only talk with the big wins they don’t want to say well sure I put 10 grand down and only got two but

Hey I won two grand yeah it’s for me I used to always leave out little losses so are like kind of oh I lost maybe 50 Quid but if I won it would be big news like everyone would know about it um you would generally people would ask you are

You up or down you’ll always convince yourself that oh I’m I’m doing well but it’s not it’s not generally the case um like the leaving out the losses is because it’s embarrassing you know you don’t want to tell people that you’re losing all your money and that you’re

Having to borrow money or steal money or like you kind of for me anyway I left out the small ones just because no one wins every time and people would get suspicious GE he’s always winning but he has no money do you know what I mean if

It just doesn’t make sense you have I had to leave out a few losses just to to cover myself but if I won everyone knew about it yeah definitely and tell me did it get to the point there that it wasn’t you going and working and putting money

On you know where you were borrowing you said there borrowing stealing did it ever come to that for you yes it did oh yeah yeah um borrowed money off all my friends school friends back then um they’re not my friends anymore which is totally down to my fault not their fault

Um I would have borrowed money off of them if I won I would give it back and then borrow it again the following week because I I’d have lost again um if I didn’t win they wouldn’t get the money back um stealing money yet I’ve lost jobs over stealing money and stuff down

Through the years um we’ll obviously touch on the big teft that I did um but yeah I I kind of went downhill fairly quick um very quick it’s sad that it can also affect the relationship between you and your friends yeah you know that they were your friends and you’re now saying

They’re no longer friends and that’s that’s down to your gambling addiction you had yeah down to me 100% like a lot of them would have they would have given me a lot of chances and stuff and to be honest they would have put up with a lot

Of crap a lot of lies um so them moving away from me kind of pushing me out of the circle was to to protect themselves which is totally understandable now yeah at the time I didn’t understand it I didn’t want to I being in foster care and starting to

Lose your friends become more isolated yeah would have made you more dependent on the hook wouldn’t it yeah and it would the Vicious Circle would have started yeah my my day revolved I had a girlfriend at the time so my day would revolve around seeing her and then The

Bookies I actually stopped going to school for four months in six year it just progressed that that quick yeah and then tell me this here as you obviously got older and you you’re you’re betting more frequently and the bets become bigger to feed that that habit what way

Did you did you Source funds for so a mix of everything so I I worked I went working full-time borrowed money um I played a lot of Poker cash poker in the local casino and cork so some weeks I would have a lot of money other weeks I

Would have none but basically came down to work borrowing or stealing that’s that’s really it um loans if I could get a loan off the credit union thankfully the bank because of my transactions they could see what I was doing never got a bank loan so I could never affect my

Credit rating in terms of that way but like Credit Union loan borrowing off friends stealing whatever had to be done that was it tell me then you as so you’re saying there you’re playing poker what did did it change your habits and what you were gambling did you start

Gambling on things you didn’t know or were you always just the same pattern of no I I I would be a decent poker player um but it would have been poker and football that was that was it um never got into horses I think in the whole 14

Years of gambling I put on maybe three or four horse bets and they would have been just like chelt number you know something big like that um but no it was always football it’s rare that you hear that that normally it becomes the horse because they play they’re they’re during

The day and and it progresses you see once especially like from about 2015 15 I kind of found online gambling and the thing with online gambling is there’s football 24/7 so it’s not just Premiership it’s any League like it could be an Ang goaling League it doesn’t it doesn’t really matter um once

It’s football I’d bet not that and and you would be you’d be batting on leagues all around the world on matches during the day sitting up at 4:00 in the morning on your phone and then you try to get up for work the next day the online game are now just for clarity

Here when we’re saying this me SE of this conversation and I want to draw a right distinction because some people might think I’m sitting here as an absolute hypocrite I have a skill-based competition game and when we set it up we put in very clear fa safs as in you

Can only place so many on each you can you you couldn’t come to our site and empty your wages in it it just would stop you it stops you a limited of tickets and limited amount of transactions in the month yeah and we done that specifically because I’ve seen

Addictions and I wanted to say that because I will I will get pulled up for this but what why why I want to say this was online has changed and and they Target and they manipulate and they program algorithms and they do things that they can literally Target the exact audience

They need and they make it as you say it’s only online it’s not waiting on Saturday and waiting through the Sunday 5:00 kickoff to find out if you’ve won you you literally could just bet across the spread anything you can bet on like if you can think of America to bet on

You’ll find a site that’ll accept that bet it doesn’t matter whether it’s my thing was Corners near the end that was that was what I used bet on but you can bet on cards time players will get car you can anything you any it’s not the

The score who wins no you can start betting on how many corners in a game like you can bet you could bet on how many corners are going to be in the first 10 minutes Jesus that that is mental isn’t it yeah but but even just what everyone’s

Touching on there so the likes to the online online gambling um we’ve talked to a few people about it and they’re saying about the whole algorithm behind it all yeah so they’re obviously looking at your transactions that they know they know your history yes so they’re they’re looking at your history and they’re

Saying oh put on £500 every week yeah all of a sudden you haven’t put on anything in a week they’re like what’s going on here send you email look whatever it is still nothing then they’ll be like right well if you spend 500 we’ll give him 100

There’s £1 free yeah1 you use your1 there’s the hook back in yeah you’re beted back in yeah that’s how it works oh 100% like it you will know like people say oh I I I only bet with free bets there is no free BET you’ve paid for it probably five times over before

You get it um the only time I would get free bets is after a big loss it would never be if I had 500 y sitting on my account they weren’t going to give me a 300 y bet like it it just doesn’t work that way now this targeted plan an

Algorithm is actually supposed to be illegal yeah the a lot of these offshore gaming companies that do this and there’s massive ones and there’s there’s movements now in place and people are are lobbying for the change in this for the simple reason is as Sean said and

And and it was a guy that was very astute in in in the gaming world that that talk to us and this is what he’s fighting again actually with the who he was saying that they would the algorithm will pick up on your lack of play and be

Worried that you were playing with another batting agency so they would entice you back in and it with them as you say a free bed which wasn’t free and then obviously as a gambler somebody sends you an email and says oh here’s £300 and as you say you don’t get that

Email when you’re plus no you only get pulled back in sorry excuse me you only get pulled back in when they feel like you’re pulling away yeah it’s a very you ever see that adjective where the the crack dealer gets them hooked and and keeps them hooked and it’s a very clear

Way of how they’re doing this very manipul very very clever very a lot of clever people putting this together it’s it’s hard to admit it but they’re Geniuses like with what they do they they know who to Target they know who to go after and that’s just the way it

Works um it’s and when you were online did the stakes and I don’t mean the stakes rises in was the volume of what you were gambling a day what what would you been gambling at and what sort of age were you at when when that was all

Going on if so I think by around the age 20 I was gambling in the hundreds um per week and then if I could get more money it would just depend on how I had done the day before really to be honest if I had won a couple hundred to day before I

Was going to lose that the next day or it would kind of continue on until I lost it um probably the last three years so it would have been 2016 up to 2019 I was betting in the high like if if my bet wasn’t over 500 quid to me it was a

Fun B it was one that I would take no interest in it would be You’ be putting more than 500 down one bet I put on a lot more than that what’s the most you’ve ever B 4,000 4,000 what was that on on granite attack to get

Booked oh and I had a sep of €4,000 on a Corners race as well [ __ ] that is mad and and and that well now we’re going to get to that because that’s where it’s got to yeah when you look back and and you’ve obviously had a counseling now yeah and

And starting to understand because to break a habit you got to understand yourself you got to go way way back so a lot of people here that have be listening to this gamblin’s probably not not is any addiction is not the first and foremost problem no you know there’s

Core problems that that lead to this and not fils whatever void and addictions from from people growing up in foster care that leads to many addictions whether it’s drug whether it’s drink whether it’s gambling whatever it is you you as youve said it’s filling aoid you’ve obviously now looked back at it

And when you when you’re saying that out loud do do you realize now you’re like I was deep in the hole and and was this where was that just when you were like I need help now um no believe it or not when I put on those bets in the last I

Told myself I’ll do it again tomorrow I I had actually won most of that money the previous day before I won I think it was 145,000 in one day what what is the most you’ve won in a single bet uh I would have had a lot of bets I don’t have a

Specific answer to that I have a lot of bets that would have come in at around four or 5,000 because I used to bet High Stakes on low ODS so I would put on two or 3,000 to get back two or 3,000 if that makes sense um I wouldn’t be one

Especially by the near the end of my gambling I wouldn’t be putting on accumulators it wouldn’t be um that that’s just not the way it would have worked for me so probably 5,000 in and around that would have been the biggest single win um but in a day 14 and a half

14 half thousand you a day and I lost it in six hours the next day you lost 145,000 in six half hours yeah and when that day is over do you just you have you stealed yourself from that you just say that was said I said I’d do it again

If I built it up to that I can do it again that that and it’s hard for me to understand and Sean to understand the concept and we’re ask yet and we’re shock this won’t shock a lot of people but one thing me and Sean said we had a conversation about

This that’s mental amount of money right but we have said this Sean that it’s not the amount of money no no it’s it’s like your 14,000 is somebody’s 14 in my head it doesn’t matter where you’re a business owner and you’re making £10,000 a week and you’re spending that 10,000 a

Week yeah yours could be 100 and you’re spending the full 100 and the same is you know we discussed it whenever the gambling online gambling companies are targeting these people so if yours is the 100 a week they’re giving you Fiverr yeah if it’s 10,000 they’re giving you

500 anything to get you back yeah your like your rewards from The Bookies would be or from the online site would be obviously based off what you spent with them what your average spending per week is like they know exactly how much to give you to get you back so like a lot

Of people will come out and say on myay page they would say oh I get 5 free bets that’s because you’re that’s kind of in and a real where your money spending with them is for me I was getting 100 free bets and €2 200 free bets because

They knew that that anything less and it wasn’t working for me it wouldn’t it just wouldn’t get me back no no with the range of online companies you would be receiving different offers from different ones no I actually I used one Betting Company you just you stuck with

The one because they were at the time they were the company that gave me what I needed in terms of my betting Market which was Corners that was it so so and that’s that that’s a new because I didn’t know you could bet on corners but

When when this was all going on and your girlriend of the time was she aware of of the extent of your gambling she knew I gambled but again it would have been a case of oh I won this much and ENT true in the OD few losses so what now that I

Look back back in it like you you kind of Wonder Maybe we say that there’s not a lot of signs for gambling addicts for people to know but I think the more I look at it there are there there are more signs that you could look out for

Definitely um I used to win a good bit of money and i’ be on top of the world and we’re booking a holiday we’re doing this at the weekend the next morning I’m canceling them all that to me is a red flag straight away um it’s something now

That I’m sure if elae ever saw again she’d know straight away but I suppose she was too close to the story as well she was living with me um you kind of miss out and stuff like that you when you’re an addict you become an expert at hid and things yeah

Become whatever what whatever addiction it is yeah you become an expert the lies become so easy that can all that can be nearly as tiring as the gambling itself trying to keep up on what you’ve told someone the previous week cuz the hardest thing to remember is a life you

Don’t know how many lies you’ve Tau and I I I don’t even I don’t think there’s any lie that I’ve never told like my my grandma has passed away I can’t pay it this week something like like that’s only part with like you know any light that you can think of I

Probably used it so you were saying there that you were working and you were obviously then Jasper you started staling defeat the hit did you find out yeah where was that or what what so it happened on two occasions I was working in a a local

Shop um I took money from the till um gambled it couldn’t get the money back in quick enough so they found out um at the time going back on what I said earlier I knew I had a problem but it had never caused enough issues that I

Had to change or that I I kind of said right [ __ ] it I have to do something here um so it was a case of pay it back and that was the end of it um that was on one occasion and a second occasion took money again pay it back and that

Was the end of it and then obviously the final occasion was when I stole from my own charity so we’re going to move on to that but you you in in in the midst of all this and and you’d set up with Chari but how did that come around I don’t

Know um I I so anyone who knows me knows I love animals everything except spiders that’s it they they can live in my house um my father passed away in March 2017 um he he was an addict as well and I think I kind of I kind of threw myself

Into something that I didn’t know I was getting involved with I took in some kittens um and then to rehome them I set up a page on Facebook to to try find homes for them and within a couple of months that page had grown quite substantially um people started give him

Money and give him like food and stuff so I then got contacted to say look you need to go through the correct steps if you’re going to be taking money and so on like that so applied for charity status um eventually got it in

2018 I think um so yeah it was just it was something that I started and I kind of snowballed and took over my life completely um it’s it’s it’s weird because you were trying uh to do something good yeah but obviously you’re still gambling away oh yeah and the

Money becoming readily available yeah just was too t I suppose I my gambling kind of took a different turn around the same time my dad passed away and online gambling kind of I was just kind of touching on it around then and it all came together it was like a a bomb um

And it just took off and that was it then I had money freely available to me that was sitting in my account um as they always say and that was it I didn’t set it up for the intention of you know taking the money um but an addict will

Do whatever they need to so when the chy was set up and you started advertising it yeah and it started generating what sort of money was coming in what sort of donations or not much at the start it was kind of you know it would depend on

Let’s say if a really sick animal came in you might get ,000 um but it would have been irregular money there was no kind of standing orders at this stage by the time everything came about just to put into context our veter bills were 10

Grand a month um how many cats were you re homeing at this point we could have anything up to 60 or 70 in our Care at any given time and they would get so we would do the whole process with them they would go to the vets get fully checked get neutered microchipped

Vaccinated the whole shebang and then rehomed so well it’s it must have snowballed pretty quick if if you’re to that money I tell you it was massive it was we had from something that started in my living room we had nearly 20,000 followers on Facebook um my phone would ring 24/7 I

Could be called out at 3:00 in the morning 4:00 in the morning all this while still gamling um and still trying to keep all that side of stuff hidden as well when you set up the the Chari where you aware then that you had a problem

And that it was gripped yeah was there in your head that [ __ ] the money starts coming in here I I can’t control myself that I thought at the very start I said to myself this is a separate thing we have to keep it separate but I was bullshitting

Myself I knew as long as I have money it’s going to go on gambling now we always paid our bills I I like to stress that we um we always made sure that everything was paid but there was always a bit of excess money um so and te you

Around the premisis of where this was at 60 cats you need plenty of room yeah we used to work through like foster homes and stuff like that so let’s say you wanted to mind a family of kittens we’d cover all the costs so we’d give you all

The like you know the cages the bedding um the food and stuff like that so we had we had a big setup it was pretty big yeah and so when the donations did start coming in a bit much what sort of money would You’ been talking what went into the

Uh you could be talking some months well put it this way our bills were always covered there might be a month where okay we’re struggling this month we we we might have to do an appeal or something like that but between the fundraising like we used to go out every

Weekend fundraising in the local like shopping center or something like that you we could cover bills so you you were getting more than € 10,000 EUR a month yeah I’d say near the end yeah yeah between people ringing our vets now as well it wasn’t all coming into the let’s

Say into the account it could have been going directly to the vets as well so people would ring up and pay over the phone and stuff like that but yeah we were the worst thing was by I think about three months before everything came out I had finally kind of separated

The rescue and the rescue’s money from my money so I kind of got to that stage but the damage was already done like it was already so and I’m I’m I’m pring and we want to get away no because we want to get to

The extent of the of the as in when did it come to a head or use the word found out that you know whoever else was involved obviously had found out what was happening yeah so I got a call in November 2019 from RT investigates um and they had got one of

The bank statements which clearly showed I was using bet 365 and using money from the rescue to go into that um I was given two days to tell everyone before they did a story so it was November 2019 how much money had came from the Chari account to Gamblin 275,000 27

Like it’s massive amount of money and then obviously there’s that hole there what way did you feel when they contacted you I I’d actually spent the whole day out in Cross trying to get a cat that have been hit by a car and I

Got home and I was tired I was just you know it was one of those normal days and he rang me I didn’t answer first because my phone would ring 24/7 so I would normally send a text to say please send a message I can’t take a call and I got

A message back to say this is Paul Murphy from RT investigates and I knew straight away and who who else was involved in setting up this Char so it would would have been myself my partner Lane and a friend Amanda so they would have been kind of the core people that

Would have been there from day one um and that it kind of Grew From There we had like people that would have been involved in terms of fostering chair people um but it all started with me and who got access to the to the accounts that started seeing the regularities in

Um we had a a volunteer who was involved with us and we had got rid of our I’d say about a year beforehand um just for reasons I won’t go into it too much because it’s not something that’s fully resolved if that’s okay I can’t really

Um and I’ll probably end up getting sued for saying something wrong or something um basically we moved house we moved back to um ela’s Family family’s property because we were going to rebuild a house and renovate um so we moved back and in the meantime I got to

Skip and thr all my my rubbish in there and without saying too much my rubbish made its way to RT investigat there must have been then people aware that there was something not right there was someone that because I had cut them out of the rescue made it

Their mission to find something on me they didn’t know it was gambling because I had hidden that enough that they wouldn’t have known I was gambling but they they wanted to get something on me and that was that was it that was what they got how did you feel at that time

Whenever obviously you got the message to say you’re going to be investigated the story was going to go out was like [ __ ] I’ve been caught I rang him straight away and I got called stupid by my solicitor afterwards because I spoke I told them everything straight up said

It was my fault no one else is involved blame me I took the money um the telling people was the hardest part to be honest because it by the time the charity was what it was it it wasn’t just me that was affected it was everyone else around

Um and I I remember that night I remember thinking I just pack my bag and go to England and just leave them deal with it I was just going to go away what changed couldn’t do it was there is that the bottom out is that when you knew you needed help yeah

And what was the next step then um I I asked him to give me till the Monday I think he he he rang me on the Saturday I think and I asked him to give me till the Monday so I rounded up everyone one by one told

Him what was that like sitting down telling people that you stole from them I can’t explain it at uh an addiction and and you know first and foremost I have to come because it’s not easy to you’re exposing some of the worst thing that an addiction does but

People are people out there are so quick to judge things when they don’t understand addiction fully they don’t understand how it it comes grip in your life that the only thought you have is to feed that that addiction yeah that everything else is secondary and relationships nothing else mattered to

Me like nothing I you know you’d lose relationships down to the year that were good relationship and you’re like all right we’ll do it again and what see when the RT investigate did they contact the guards I don’t know how it worked I think it

Could have been it was I think it was apparently the person that found my post and R investigates I think it was a joint effort contacted the G and it kind of went from there then so you were arrested then no I was never arrested I volunteered for every everything so I

Went into the Guard Station myself um admitted to everything gave them all my bank statements gave them access to every account I ever had um they could have done it anyway but I suppose at that stage it was a case of if I’m honest with them now it might work in my

Favor um so it kind of went from there um anytime they needed me I would make myself available so thankfully I was never actually put in handcuffs or anything like that or there was none of that so were you charged with fraud or not or with teft and fraud it and you

Were prosecuted yeah um 39 charges 39 charges yeah and I accepted all of them and what was the punishment handed so I went through this all happened during Co so it kind of a lot of people would say Co was a terrible thing for me and with

All respect to people who lost people join it it was the best thing that ever happened me because it football was gone for three months and in those three months I was stuck at home and I was obviously living with my parner were living on her family’s property so while

It was the worst three months ever trying to get them to see the reasons behind what I did and stuff it kind of gave me the Stepping Stones to see right I don’t need football um I don’t need any of that so I went through Court

Three times um to give me a chance to pay back the money um I repaid it all and I got a two year two and a half year suspended sentence for that what happened the JY closed immediately people weren’t going to donate theity that was the reputation

Was destroyed and not not I I suppose not to sound like I’m biging myself up but it started with me and I did a lot of a lot of the running side of it was true myself I dealt with the money clearly um uh I arranged all the

Fundraisers I did a lot of of the home checks did a lot of the rehoming um did 99% of the actual physical rescuing of cats that were like stock places or whatever it would have even if they tried it wouldn’t have survived if that makes sense um we also had the Charities

Regulator to deal with so yeah it was I was freak see see going through all that there um you know you’re you’re getting these massive ha from gambling you’re getting lose from gambling now all of this is unfolded yeah what what weighs your head like your mental health you

Know was there anything like that that ever come about like you were like yeah because that’s the thing they say that you know with gambling comes depression people that are depressed don’t gamble was there any of that at all yeah um depression like depression and gambling goes hand in hand

Um there anyone who’s struggling with a gambling addiction I I can promise you is depressed um there’s no it doesn’t you can’t do one without the other um like I suppose when everything came out um it would have been the Samaritans that kept me going for a good while so I

Would have been in regular contact with them um so yeah when you were reaching out to SM Marans was it because you were serious title yeah you contemplated that was the way to go yeah was this when come about or afterwards longer Ed or no

It was kind of from the night I got to to text um for probably three or four weeks after uh I didn’t know how things were going to work out I didn’t know I thought I was going to prison I thought to people around me who were involved in

The charity were going to go to prison and they did nothing wrong so what what about your partner she stuck by you and all this but obviously you know she was involved and people we had to keep it obviously she was my partner but we had to keep it separate

Because she was the chairperson of the rescue which meant technically the buck stopped with her um so we had to have different solicitors we had to have everything was separate so despite living together we couldn’t really discuss the the situation too much ATM have put

Some I I’m I hope you put a ring on that woman because I’m telling you out we’re getting there that must have put some and and obviously we we lived in her family’s property her so it didn’t you know we live in the middle of nowhere

What what effect did you have them with their in-laws like it’s hard enough to like uh a coup her father was on holiday at the time so her mom was told first and her mom’s very private and I think it knocked her yeah um so then her father came home we told

Him I thought I would be packing my bags the same day to be honest I actually I told to land that I’d go stay with my brother um but they they listened and um just asked for a chance that was it but I think for 6 months I I think the

First two months they didn’t speak to me so and we share the same you know from card yeah it was it was unusual I didn’t think I I didn’t think at the time I could fix it so see and all that there you’re saying but trying to fix it what

Was your path to recovery so obviously this all unfolded yeah you were you know feeling suici you contacted smartens so what was your actual path till my next thing I suppose at the time my my priority was how do I so the charity regulator came down pretty hard us um

Everything came down hard us um there was people outside my gate um you know taking photos and stuff um I had to get a sissler and I didn’t even know where to start so I just Googled um good fraud solicitor and the solicitor I ended up

Taking came up uh he advised me on what he thought would happen if I took certain steps um and it was just a case to take those steps so I went to Addiction Counseling Services in malow um they dealt kind of more with drink

And drugs so I didn’t fit in um I was actually told at one stage that I shouldn’t be there that they don’t they didn’t know how to deal with me um so I kept looking myself um part of you know going through the core process would be to have a

Letter from a counselor to say that he’s doing what he needs to do um so I found Tony O’Reilly who I’m not sure if you’ve ever had him on your podcast but get him he Tony 10 is his um was his gambling now um he’s written a book and he saved

My life to be honest with you well I don’t mean to cheeky when I asked you this yeah did it’s the first time did you seek counseling to help you with your sentence or to help you were you ready to be helped at that point or was

It uh as protecting and and partly protection yeah I knew I needed I knew I needed something to go in my favor in court um once I started especially with the the first counseling group I obviously won’t name them because I don’t want to put any Counseling Group

You know give them a bad name they just didn’t deal with me it wasn’t mine was gambling um during that process it was solely just for court yeah yeah and at what point did that change when I met Tony what did he say to you that that

Struck that Court he was an ex- gambling addict he knew you we were the same person yeah the exact same it’s just the Figures were different and what was the process with him then that started making you say you know what this isn’t and I don’t mean this it’s not just for

Court they may have done you a favor you getting caught yeah you know where where’s it going yeah um I suppose I spoke with Tony we set up a call um because it was during Co there was no one to one um and from the first call I

Actually remember going into Al and saying this is the fell that was it and it just changed my mindset because he I always thought like oh look what I’ve done I’ve made a massive [ __ ] up um how am I going to fix it it and then I heard

Tony’s story and I was like you done worse and look at him now and that was it it was just total mindset change um I started going into counseling once a week um and just started dealing with us what was kind of causing us and with

With con as we know you’re going back it’s not the actual where we’re at now you’re going back you’re undoing it yeah we went right back to the start yeah and did you learn much about yourself and and and the triggers and the causes and wise I understood I I kind of learned

Potential reasons why I did it cuz I to me I just gambled because I gambled there was no I never really thought of what could be causing it or the the reasons behind it why I was needing that Gap filled um but yeah we we touched in all my family background my upbringing

Um kind of addiction is it’s part of my family unfortunately um so we went through all that we know addictions can be handed down and and and if it’s in a family whether it’s drink it’s in a family you know or drugs or or um when you you grow up in

Them circumstances if you if somebody was watching if a young you was watching this now and you had something to say to them in in the ways that to that they would see it in themselves what would you have told a younger younger you that

You you know now of why you were doing it I didn’t talk to people enough um I I slated myself um the biggest thing is talk just tell your family that’s what I always tell people just tell someone cuz gambling like like any other dick it

Wants to make you feel like you’re by yourself um so talk tell someone and like the feeling when you tell someone I don’t know I don’t think I could ever replicate that when I told to Lan um she thought I was going propose to her it was quite quite a different conversation

But the relief I I thought was going to be the worst thing in the world telling her but it it actually it felt amazing not for her CU now she’s aware of the problem she’s carrying a now it’s no longer just my my issue did it come out then in the

RTE paper or or was it the new or what yeah so on the following Friday um they released an article on RT investigates and on their website on the paper um yeah it was pretty much everywhere and then it’s a small rule or in what what was the backlash in that

There actually wasn’t um thankfully uh it was more people that would have been from the city I had PE as I said I had people down outside my gate um people watching my house to put up cameras um yeah there was a bit of hassle but nothing locally you know local people

Are kind of private so they might say stuff about you but they won’t say it to your face um I feel like I’m part of the community down there now I don’t hide anything everyone knows about me um so how did you go about getting a job then

After that um I was actually thankfully my boss at the time when everything came out he he stood by me um yeah he he’s my age um he he was obviously he’s an electrician he was working by himself for himself I joined him and uh I was with him for about five

Years so I was kind of with him through that whole process um he grew his company I was still part of that so I suppose he didn’t want to to lose me for something that you know could hopefully be resolved and dealt with so you spoke to Tony yeah yeah

You’ve now realized look you’ve come back you spoke to Le you said look I’m going to work on this yeah I have problems here I’m going to fix these what is the process on getting over or do you ever get over a gambling addiction or do you learn to live with a

Gambl an addiction learn to live with it any addiction you’ll never like again just to go back to my through my social media I get a lot of comments like why do you still talk about it why do you post about it quite simp because if you

Forget about it you could go back like I learned all my biggest lessons from suffering like I made sure I repaid that money every penny of it and I suffered to [ __ ] pay it back but I had to pay it back if you if you if you give

Something easy if you if something comes easy to you don’t you don’t um appreciate it this this is maybe true but it’s it’s how I feel and it’s it’s stories that I’ve been told about addiction a lot of people that have an addiction end up going and taking up S an else and

They’re addicted to something else as in Outdoors cycling gym did you find any of that you have to replace so if you think about it like 14 years I gambled and pretty much every day was revolved around gambling my my plans for the day were revolving around the football match

So when I can’t revolve my day around that I had to find something else to to fill that to keep my mind busy so I threw myself into work um I had a lot of debts to pay so I work seven days a week we didn’t go out for dinner we didn’t do

Anything nice it was just get the money back and that was it but now I kind of I kind of backed off work a bit I work five days um we have a lot of pets um to go back to the pet thing I do love

Animals um we have nine cats four dogs um so that’s kind of what my weekends are we were building a house at the same time as well so kind of just kept myself busy did you say Nine Cats four dogs yeah you’d need to work six days to pay

For yeah that’s the that’s the way it’s turning out yeah but obviously then you you’ve you know the shame of it all is there was so much good in it and I’m sure when you P all back and and and the disappointment and and the hurt and the

The the pain but when you P it back there’s prob to be an element of some pride in the fact that there was good done in in that it’s it’s it’s very disappointing for what it could have been and what it could have become yeah but you weren’t that person you weren’t

The person that’s sitting in front of us now and it’s going to be so easy for people to judge that don’t understand addictions but here you are sitting here telling that and we’ve had people come here and they don’t tell us all the truth yeah and they hide the

The horin things because that’s a natural thing we all want to do we want to hide the worst part of us we want to show the best part of us that’s just a human nature thing but I I appreciate because I know it can’t be easy to sit

Here on a podcast say worse than all but I think people will appreciate that because people that have experienced addiction whether it’s a partner whether it’s a child whether it’s their parents it may not have been gambling yeah it may not have been a p home it

May not have been super value or whatever it is they’ll know they’ll relate they’ll know because it’s the behavior patterns are the same it’s all the same like what you do we all do the same thing that I think that’s why my my page is kind of hit it

Off with a lot of people every we’ll say 99% of my videos are things i’ done things I felt or taught at the time they’re all relatable to everyone like me because we all do the exact same thing we all lie we all steal we like

It’s all the same it’s just the figures differ and I think to go back to why it changed when I met Tony is because we’re the same person like we’re the exact same and it it’s just nice to be able to talk to someone like it

Um yeah it there’s millions of us is there certain steps that you went through then like whenever you talking at Tony did you and Tony sit down and say right there’s certain steps that you can work through yeah to to help you through this yeah so at the start we

Kind of obviously I had big debts um I knew I had to work on them but we had to put them to a side for the for the time being because one of the biggest things to cause someone relapse is how am I going to pay my money back how am I

Going to pay this and then they’ll gamble again to try get it so we kind of put that to the side and we dealt with the addiction itself um just talk things through um kind of set goals in terms of right we’re going to get 10 days gamble

Free or whatever just keep working it that way and um as my mindset changed and I got more comfortable we started looking at my family um my my time in foster care um and we we kind of looked at why things that happened then are you know seemed parents pass away through

Addiction and stuff how that can that can affect you and cause you to gamble or cause you to drink and all that sort of stuff um and that was kind of it we worked through the court obviously every time I went to court I freaked um the

Day before uh cuz my solicitor he’d ring me every day before court I I suppose to go back to it he day one when I met him he kind of set out a step by step like how this is going to work out what you

Have to reach to for this to happen you know if you want to stay out of prison you need to have this done you need to have this done um but obviously there was always the fact that there was a charity involved you know you I didn’t

Just steal money from you I stole it from everyone so it was kind of he’d ring me um the day before tell me pack a bag and that used that us set me off big time I’d have to go home um just whatever I was doing I pack up my tools

And go home and I would be i’ freak for the rest of the day and then go to court the following day so my or my counselor kind of kept me CAM during those days i’ ring him and he’d he’d been through the process he went to court he went through all this

So he could tell me what should happen and how it should go so was there the possibility that you were going to go to prison yeah for up to 10 years I think was the maximum sentence um put it this way if I hadn’t repaid the money and

Didn’t get gamble free I I wouldn’t be talking to you know now um the headline sentence was four years and I got one and a half off for everything i’ done uh paying back to the money and stuff and then the 2 and a half was suspended so

I’m 2 years into my suspended sentence now it it’s to some obviously I always say you want people till remorse recount repay and sometimes people think oh they need to have a custodial sentence to to get that yeah but the fact then you know we were talking about it there about

Whether did we do this at the start for to keep you out yeah then I would have being of the mindset then if you’re only doing it for personal again keep then you do it again then you do it again and you should you should be going yeah but

Once you got your head right and you got right once the steps of recovery I’m not sure for I know for alcohol addiction and stuff is to make a mens yeah so did you start believing in that recovery process where you wanted to to yeah make

Demands and wanted not just to save your skin no I I think from from kind of the biggest thing for me was pay back the money I had to pay back the money and I didn’t want anyone’s I could have went around to family I could have went

Around I I know enough people that I could have raised the 275,000 Y A Week um like there would have been a lot of people involved in the charity that had a lot of money that if I went to them they were still on my side but I didn’t

I didn’t want to and what’s the process of that when the money goes back into the Char does it go back to the donators no so I suppose that was one of my biggest um that was my biggest question because the charity was closed um so the

Money couldn’t go back so what actually happened is it was split between 10 animal rescues in Cork so that’s they each got uh 2,750 so in a roundout way it eventually went back it just took a detour along the way unfortunately well this is what I was leading till

Earlier there still has to be an element of Pride that there was good done yeah in that I don’t the only regret I have is the gambling I don’t regret setting up the rescue as much as it took over my life um and I think if we continued with it uh I

Wouldn’t be in a relationship it was that kind of it was taken over everything I don’t regret it the only thing I regret is that is it closed um I did I did good and I don’t I don’t care what anyone else says it seems weird to

Me but in the midst of all this gambling you just hated a caty yeah all these meows and I I like I used to be a dog person but I I obviously like all animals and I took in a few kittens and it just it’s crazy how one decision like if I didn’t

Take in those kittens I got only know World I’d still be gambling if I hadn’t got caught well then that’s the question do you regret it getting caught or the gambling the obviously the gambling you would regret but do you do you regret getting caught

No no I I constantly say it while it was done for different reasons the person that did it saved me and I wouldn’t be here it wasn’t just the resue but everything else was kind of tumbling at the stage my lies were catching up on me

I was meant to be sa for a mortgage I didn’t have a poopus in um so it was catching up it was just that was the the big one that kind of set it all off what way is your relationships now with the lean and and and the people you’re

You’re inlaws in-laws perfect um aane good we’re good but I suppose it did damage that will take a long long time to to repair you know trust trust is the biggest one she trusts me but there’s always you know easy gambling I actually gone back about a

Year ago I kind of had a everything’s not always up so I kind of had a what I would say is kind of a depressive episode about a year ago actually when the the court it would have been a year and a half ago just as the court finished remember I was building

Everything to court everything was based around Court we got court out of the way and then we deal with everything else um when the court finished I went down not gambling but just I lost my focus on what I need to I had something to aim at

Um so I kind of to reset myself and they they thought I was gambling then because you were you were feeling L yeah just cuz my mental health wasn’t um because people see me online they’ll see that I’m happy and some my videos look like I’m s I’m generally happy but like

Anyone else like life can be [ __ ] so that brings us right to social media side of things then then what what was it like deciding you know what I’m going to go back cuz obviously you right there in social media with the the animal shelter yeah then I’m sure you come in

For hate on that one oh you have no idea so and rightfully so when people read that and their monies went there 100% I would be [ __ ] first to go M if I if I had donated money and someone did the same thing I would call him every name

Under the sun yeah but so there must have been an element where you’re like do I want to go back onto there yeah but I want to share my message same as 20 at first it started with I wanted to share my story not my message about helping

Other people recover I’m not going to pretend that that was my initial goal my message was during the court I was told I couldn’t talk to anyone I couldn’t tell anyone anything everyone thought I was off holidaying driving fancy cars with all this money and they couldn’t

Have been further from the truth so I actually when the court finished I I kind of made the decision that I just wanted the people that used to follow the rescue that’s that was my only target I wanted them to see this is why I did it um I’m not the evil person

Everyone pants me out to to be I did something wrong obviously don’t I don’t ever try hide that um but it started off with I just wanted people to see my side of it um and then it just it just went from there um I like helping people I

Like helping things like animals people and it kind of just took off from there what what was the name of the the page that you had set up because I know you having an issue some um the recovering Gambler recovering Gambler yeah and then obviously it resonated with people yeah

Cuz we’re all the same all us gambling addicts we do the same they could see themselves in my videos that’s and that’s why it hits home everything in the videos they’ve done too they might inall from an animal charity but they stole from someone they lied to

Someone they when when that’s out there and you started getting the messages back because we’ve always touched on this if you have an addicted personality of personality you fixated on the court fixated now now you’ve started that not become a part of your life and and a big

Part and and and it’s filling that yeah when you started getting messes back not of hate of people saying you know what actually did well you done you done the right thing it’s nice was it filling up then yeah and no point line it’s it’s nice to see people validate what you’ve

Done how you’ve turned your life around it is nice Tik Tok is a big big part of my life now um which is weird cuz Tik Tock is a toxic toxic environment it it is it is it can be but I suppose especially gambling gambling is dealt with differently online to alcohol and

Drugs so I follow obviously I’ve I’ve grown to know people that are addicts alcohol drugs and so on like that their Pages would be very much supported and they put up a post it’s well done we support you I put up a post and it’s keep gambling the next one’s the big one

All this crap um it seems to be a trend online but I actually have seen some of them comments I I can never get into the mindset of who would want to write that but there is you’re right there’s a different stigma because if somebody if somebody got clean of drugs they’re

Getting the pots on the back yeah somebody stops gambling you’re like they’re going to start tomorrow like they’re any more likely to fall is it because of is it Deb on when will he when will he fall I give you another 100 days it’s just it’s just the mindset at

The moment do you do you think people look at it differently because it’s not a substance as such so alcohol is a substance drugs is a substance how how do you get addicted to gambling yeah how do you get addicted to losing money but you don’t like you don’t always lose

Money it’s not the the money is obviously a bonus but like it’s the doy mean hit it’s that high you if you lose a beted and it’s close it’s close to winning you get the same feeling as if the BET one that it’s it’s weird that and that’s

One people don’t understand but it’s the same it’s the it releases the same thing and it goes we’ll do now the next one and that’s all the body wants the body wants that head the dopamine and that’s it yeah and at the end to be

Honest for the last year and a half my gambling whether I won or lost my my mood would be the same it wouldn’t like I I could be gambling sitting next to you and you wouldn’t know did did was there ever like a did you live the high

Life when you won or did you keep it the bad again the most I would do is go to Maxi zoo and buy a shitload of cats stuff it’s just such a weird thing for me that the the intertwine of the cats and and and the gambling and how it all

Came together even to this day I I still do what I can to help him I can’t in an official role with a rescue or something but I still are you is that a part of your court case you’re no but no one would want to go near

Me and I don’t play them if I was to join in another rescue imagine the right the accusation the backlash and you know something we you you’ve touched on it there and that’s something that I I have actually noticed and as we we we we’re reading up before

We come here that the different stigmas that’s attached to the gambling addiction but also there’s another thing at play here in social media that we had spoke to our gentleman about that and again people are going to say to me that this is right come from you because I

Advertise online and social media but social media’s largest generating revenue is from G yeah so when you speak out about Kim you become at risk of being and we with there’s a lot of uh recovering gamblers have spoke out and said this they have had large pages and which

You’ve now actually experienced in the in last week they’ve had large Pages removed and you’ve had the same problem yeah so I was close to 45,000 followers on my page um started a year and a half on one um and they they remove my page Why like you’ve told me the

Violation yeah to let people know the violation and see if this warrant uh uh so basically I get a lot of comments as I said they can be rude so on like that 99% of them don’t affect me or they have no like I’m never going to gamble again

Because of a comment but someone said something about my mom who had passed away um and I just wanted to clarify that so I just said just to let you know my mom passed away when I was young cheers for being a bell end and your page has been removed that

Was one violation and I got about a week later I put up a video that did not break Community guidelines that was actually they removed it I appealed it and they put it back up they said that it was fine um and on

Sunday I went to do a day in the life so people actually like a lot of my content will be gambling related but they also like to see what I’m doing during the day um what I’m doing at work what I do at the weekends to fill the time and so

On like that so I went upload um we actually went and bought some couches and stuff for our house so it was a nice uh nice day out um went to upload it and it said my account are being removed uh permanently B banned that I could appeal

It and that it would take up to 7 days to get a response I appealed it and in 3 minutes I got a response to say that was it your account has been permanently banned so in three minutes people think that the big the big games AR a play in

In the world of social media but they very much are yeah we’ve witnessed maybe some of our I wouldn’t say riskier content but some of our more diverse uh guests like Dr an we we’ve noticed that there’s a massive restriction and we joked before that come out we’re like

Baron Scully Baron Scully can’t be SED now we get answer the following it like they can so they can pick and choose what I don’t know how much you’ve looked into Tik Tok but they can pick and choose what videos what content they push um there is just a touch in it just

To give you an idea of how my account is been banned there is an account called don’t quit gambling um set up about 3 weeks ago has currently about 23,000 followers in 3 weeks consistently post promoting gambling do not quit gambling do not do this do not quit gam sorry qu sorry I

Picked that up wrong I thought you meant uh no do not quit gaming do not quit gambling and consistently post within three weeks three weeks they have about 23,000 followers there’s a G from down south and you see him he’s the most annoying bastard that ever God forgive

Me all right and I’m prob people are like there’s a boy from the North or but he’s a tipster yes right I know a few of them and this is the most modern permits game I’ve ever seen yeah sign up to my patreon and I’m going to give the third

Person 1,000 pound yeah and I remember looking at I don’t gamble right which people might find thing I don’t mind doing a punt on on when it comes Grand Arenal or responsible gambling really it’s just I I actually probably do gamble more than people actually realize because my business

Sometimes I I feel like when I guarantee a prize and it may not go it’s a risk but but every business is a risk so it’s a slightly different term but what I I used I seen this coming up and I was like my we we we discussed this here

It’s becoming more prevalent and very very sophisticated it’s becoming younger and online and the targeting that the the young fellas are becoming cool and this is what we discussed there there’s not regulations you can’t promote cigarettes can’t appear on the side of a Formula 1 car they can’t appear you you know go

Through the airport in the dutyfree and there’s a big white wall it’s not visible you’re not allowed to actually see it you go in the shop it’s closed away so it’s not visually in your eye you can’t see it yeah the cigarettes beer and alcohol is now you

Know it’s it’s much it’s still very prevalent especially in in in an our society yeah but gambling is everywhere where you look spin this yeah rou at that it’s it’s in every computer game every computer game that if you have children that are playing there’s gambling it might just be free money it

Might just be always a casino in the game but that’s how it starts like that’s that’s it it’s advertised everywhere I can’t open a website on my phone without a gambling ad it’s weird it’s weird you know because how much does it contribute to society in Texas because a lot of these

Are offshore even the ones that are named that you would think would be loly they have ways around it yeah the the amount of of tax that comes back you just wonder but they do spend hundreds of millions of pounds lobbying yeah senates governments paying to be lobbied

If you if you think about it like going back to even our government like when their parties they’re Golf out out day outs or whatever who do you think’s yeah sponsoring that yeah there’s there’s too much money people ask me do I want gambling band I don’t like you can

Gamble responsibly you can probably gamble responsibly that’s fine I I don’t want to see gambling band it should be regulated better so that the likes of me if anyone even in bet 365 ever looked at my account the amount of red flags and just one email could have

You know one email okay you’re betting too much we’re we’re we’re actually restricting your account yeah I could have went elsewhere but if you keep doing it you get banned from them all but the only time they’ll ban you is if you’re winning but a regulation a more

Regulated industry that’s all I want unless unless targeted let’s just jump back that two seconds so they’ll only a Gamblin site will only ban you if you’re winning yes oh I I they’ll restrict they’ll restrict your bets if you won a a series of big bats they’ be like

That’s it and they have no they don’t have to tell you a reason they’ll be like cash out you have 28 days to take your cash out and you go they can restrict your bets so your Stakes so if you won a good bit of money and let’s

Say your average stake let’s say you’re a high roller and you’re putting on five grand each time they’ll restrict that to 100 quid but if you’re losing you want to put 500,000 on no for it yeah throw it on I because let a loser gamble yeah but

Don’t let a win or win it’s it’s made it’s actually puzzled me and threw me for a bit because look I I have a a good understanding on addictions and I have a good I I would I’m not going to lie to you I see up until a couple years ago

Had a very naive very country attitude till that was selfish and you’re just B and you’re doing this you lack self-control you lack that was that was just always mine but now as me and on have been on this journey and become more aware of of mental health mentality

And how people thought patterns work that I don’t ever see addictions now as the primary problem there’s always something that’s led to it there’s always somewhere that something happened that I’m thankful that I don’t have that that that didn’t happen to me but who am

I to judge what I would have done if that happened to me and that’s what I would always say to people that are outside of addictions be thankful you don’t have something that triggered an addiction in you before you judge and past judgment be thankful you’re not in

The position where the walls are closing in or this is happening to you I kind I I’d kind of say the same thing like people will say how could you do that put yourself there and see how you react put yourself where everything is crumbling around you you’ve lied to

Everyone you’ve stole off people see how you react to it see how you’ll handle it because everyone says I’d never do it but go there and see if you’ll do it well look listen I hope you get your page back because from what we’ve seen and this was a conversation that we had

And like and even Sean says to me how how are we going to do this gambling and in the contradictory that it is it because we want to bring this to people and hopefully and I I I do I I I I don’t doubt there’ll be people here that may

Not reach out they may reach out to you and we’ll be putting the links in your newtop mly good but they may take some somebody may take an understanding of somebody that’s close to them that has that addiction yeah or somebody might try and get some help and and what what

Would you say if if somebody was just there and and and they’re struggling with the idea of getting help what would you say just one way tip or or suggestion for them to do to just try and break that that Vice that it has it

Goes back to what I said at the start talk to someone pick someone you trust and just tell them tell them everything don’t hold anything back because the first I suppose the first part of moving on from the addiction is have someone which you by your side that you can

Trust I if I didn’t tell people I wouldn’t I wouldn’t have beat it cuz I there was days where you’re down and if they don’t know why you’re down they can’t help you talk to someone that’s that’s you know they’re going to be angry don’t don’t beat around the bush

And say it’s all going to be Rosy they’ll be disappointed but 99% of people will help you they’ll do what they can but you you just talk that’s it well one I I have to thank you because it cannot be easy to come worse than all I’m I’m going to say

One thing before I go you look after Adan woman I because and that that she she had a bite down hard and she had a lot of [ __ ] to put up with and and let’s face it would you judge her would anyone else to judge her

If she head for the hills no it it takes something to stand beside someone and hopefully if you’re out there guys and you treat someone right they’ll stand by you too if you do come and tell them and if they don’t stand by you they weren’t

Meant for you you know that’s sort of way too if you open in your heart to somebody and tell them what’s going on and you’re struggling and they’re not there for you they wanten to be there for you it’s good sign it it it’ll tell you how Going H with life you know

People will have ups and downs I’ll have more ups and downs um you will will um how they they react around that it will tell you kind of what what do you want them in your life um and that’s that’s important to know L thank you very much maybe Sean

Thank you very much thank you very much for sharing your story um I’m I’m glad you didn’t hold anything back he told us everything and um um I have no doubt that people will be listening to it and a lot of people are wrting and hopefully there’ll be people in the same situation

Or similar and they’ll be like right there is a problem here I need to go and start talking to people yeah get a way bit of help so thank you very much no problem thanks thanks for having me