A jilted wife leaves her husband and jets to Los Angeles in search of the man of her dreams – George Clooney – and will stop at nothing to meet him!
Starring: Nadia Jordan, Rosanna Arquette, Tate Donovan, Kristen Johnston, Shaun Sipos, Rex Lee, Ruth Connell, Marina Sirtis
Directed by: Maria Burton
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[meows] ♪ ♪ [male narrator] …Britain’s most rare songbirds, such as the bearded tit. [slow jazz playing] [car approaches] [car drives off] [cell phone chiming] Hey, where are you? [man] Didn’t you get my text? One of the locals reported a sighting of the bearded tit,
So we thought, if we went into the woods now, there’s a good chance we may spot it for ourselves. Oh, I made dinner. Oh, I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t think we were doing anything special, so I headed straight out from the office. Perhaps you could put it in the fridge.
We can have it tomorrow night? Well, it’s your birthday. You should do what you want. So go off and find those tits, then. Thanks for understanding, darling. Oh, don’t wait up. [phone chiming] You were joking, weren’t you? -You’re in the driveway. -[man] Well, that’s taken care of.
Poppy’s so naive. Her idea of a wild night -is a medium-rare steak dinner. -Hello. Stephen, are you there? Can you hear me? She thinks I’m bird watching, so I think I can get away with staying the night.
[woman] Ooh, I know a few things we could do that will last all night. [Stephen, chuckling] Handcuffs again? [woman] Come here and I’ll show you. [Stephen] That’s what I love about you. So adventurous. -You naughty girl. -[woman giggling] [Stephen laughs]
[both kissing, moaning] [Stephen] Shit, my phone! ♪ ♪ Said you were gonna take me ♪ ♪ Where I’ve never been before ♪ ♪ Other side of midnight ♪ Poppy? Can we talk? Happy birthday, darling. Drink? [glass shatters, car alarm blaring]
♪ Never know if you’ll come home ♪ ♪ In more than just one… ♪ Wait, I can explain. ♪ So hard to leave… ♪ Is that supposed to be a bearded tit? ♪ So hard to stay ♪ ♪ Sometimes it’s undecided ♪ ♪ Sometimes it’s… ♪
Employee of the year. -How about wanker of the year? -[trophy crashes] I worked really hard for that. And I worked way too hard for this. Poppy! [banging on door] Poppy! ♪ Help me walk away ♪ [knocking on window] [Stephen] Poppy. It’s raining and I’m getting soaked. [phone rings] Poppy, I’m locked out.
You know how my hair goes curly in the rain. -[phone ringing] -Poppy, for God’s sake, be an adult about this. -[knocking on window] -[voice mail beeps] [man] Hey, princess. It’s Justin. Pick up if you’re there. I’m sitting by the pool with a margarita thinking it’s about time
you came out to L.A. to visit. I miss you. Bye, sweetie. Oh, and happy birthday, Stephen, you handsome devil. -[voice mail beeps] -[Stephen] Poppy. [woman] George Clooney and fluffy animals? Yes, George Clooney visited a Los Angeles animal shelter
over the weekend to adopt a rescue dog. -[woman] And the generous star -[knocking on window] …made sure he and his new canine pal hit it off right away by, get this, rubbing meatballs on his shoes. [man] Not surprisingly, the pair bonded immediately
and have been inseparable since. This guy just gets nicer and nicer. Much like myself Ashley. [laughs] [woman] The renowned bachelor is at home in L.A. promoting his next movie, and we’ll have a sneak peak on tomorrow’s show. [knocking on window] Poppy!
♪ I gotta find me something ♪ ♪ To keep me running ♪ ♪ Keep me on my toes till the break of dawn ♪ ♪ Something to fill my heart ♪ ♪ And keep it thumping ♪
♪ Keep me reaching and never close the door ♪ ♪ Well you can sit and wait ♪ ♪ Till you’re 88 ♪ ♪ But that don’t do you no good ♪ ♪ I wanna get up on my feet ♪
♪ I know my life won’t be complete ♪ [Poppy] Well, that’s that. Maybe this is fate. I’m going to find George, and everything will just fall into place. ♪ Wait till you’re 88 ♪ ♪ But that don’t do you no good ♪
♪ I wanna get up on my feet ♪ ♪ I know my life won’t be complete ♪ ♪ Until I find me something ♪ ♪ To keep me humming ♪ ♪ Keep me singing and strumming forever ♪
♪ Keep me singing and strumming forever ♪ ♪ Keep me singing and strumming forever more ♪ -Poppy. -Justin. [Justin laughing] Finally, after all these years, you come visit. Look at you. Oh, don’t. I look terrible. Nothing that a week’s sleep and a makeover can’t fix.
Leave the bags. I’ll get them later. Wow, this is sexy. [chuckles] Yep. Oh, and this is Irina. She helps me out around the house. Irina, this is my friend from England I was telling you about. Planned her wedding when I lived there, ooh, too many years ago. We bonded over karaoke
And our mutual love of power ballads from the ’80s. So why you leave your husband? He no good at the sex? Irina. Actually, it turns out he was good at the sex, just not with me. You need love of good Russian man. You will meet my friend Anton. He show you good time.
Thanks, Irina, but I think Poppy’s good. Maybe you should meet Anton. [chuckles] Oh, I’ve not seen this photo in years. Sorry, I should’ve taken that down. Although I do love the way my cheekbones look. The photographer thought you’d had a stroke, and the guests kept referring to you as my “special friend.”
I’m not sure why you had to try out a new smile in my wedding photos. I thought it was a winner. So are we your first divorce? At least you made it down the aisle. I spent six months last year working on the most amazing Black Swan themed wedding,
And the bride didn’t even show up. Probably had the right idea. Oh, don’t say that. [Justin] And you never suspected a thing? Well, he’d recently taken up bird watching. Bird watching. Exactly. Especially as he has a feather phobia. [cell phone vibrates] Sorry, hold on. It’s my boss.
She’s texted me ten times in the past 30 minutes. God forbid I have a night off. When are you going to start up on your own again? You’ve been talking about it forever. I know. I know. Paolo was always saying the same thing to me. Why exactly did you and Paolo break up?
I don’t want to talk about it. It’s just too painful to relive. He cheated on me. Okay, fine, maybe I cheated on him first, but he should’ve been the bigger person and forgiven me instead of being like me and betraying me. Anyway, we’re talking about me again. Let’s talk about you.
I should’ve seen it coming, all those late nights at the office, lack of romance, not to mention sex. It’s all such a big mess. Hey, I know a great therapist. She’s relationship expert to the stars. Maybe you should go see her. I’ll be fine. I’m only here two weeks. Which stars?
Yeah, yeah, he just left, Belieb it or not. He’s back with her. I know. Hold on a sec. Hi, I’m Poppy Wakefield here to see Dr. Faye. Poppy. Weird name, huh? [chuckles] Fill out these forms. Just make sure they’re signed. Anita, are you still there?
Okay, guess who just called to make another appointment? No. No. Who’s that? Uh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Charming though he is, he can’t seem to hold down a woman. Dr. Faye’s working on his commitment issues. I’m like, “I’ll take him issues and all.” -He can hold me down. -[phone rings]
Oh– Oh, hold on a sec. Yes, doctor? I’ll let her know. Poppy, Dr. Faye will see you now. Thanks. Just out of curiosity, I couldn’t help but overhear. Who were you talking about? I couldn’t possibly say. That would be a breach of client confidentiality. Of course.
Anita? Okay, so you’ll never guess who just had a vaginaplasty. Tell me, when did your obsession with celebrity begin? I’m not obsessed with celebrity. So this is a Clooney-specific obsession. I’m not obsessed. [Poppy thinking] I mean, who doesn’t love George Clooney? I’ll never forget the first time
I saw those big brown eyes and winning smile. So handsome. He’s a good guy who really cares about the world. Funny, smart. Why wouldn’t I be able to date him? Cries you and 50 million other women. Have you ever met George? [Poppy thinking] Is that a yes?
I think that’s a yes! [door opens] Morning, sweetie. Whatcha doing? Working. This article’s due tomorrow. Does Women’s Chitchat Magazine know you’re here? No, it shouldn’t matter. I do most of my work from home now anyway. So what’s this week’s story? “My Husband Left Me For My Dog.”
No, it’s about a woman trying to get over the death of her father. She turned to bananas to help her. Bananas? Does the potassium help with the depression or something? She collects those little stickers that are on them. Bananas were her dad’s favorite food. It’s actually really heart-wrenching. It’s actually really lame.
[phone chiming] Oh, Stephen. I don’t want to talk to him. Okay, stop what you’re doing. I’m going to take you out. We’re going to the Farmers Market, you’ll love it. You’re wooing me with fruits and veggies? Yep, so get dressed. I’m just going to stay here and get this out of the way.
Suit yourself. Although going to the Farmers Market is like an L.A. staple. Plus I see the best sightings. I saw George Clooney there last week, and he walked by, and I was like, “Does George Clooney want me to say, ‘Hey, George Clooney, Doug Ross, ER, thumbs up,’ like does he want me”–
Decided to come after all. [no audible dialogue] Poppy, this juice is like an enema in a cup. Nothing says breakfast like an enema. Now, I put a little bit of honey in there so you get a sweet aftertaste. Here, why don’t you try my latest– Oh, no, I’m fine. Thank you.
Oh, an Aussie. I always wanted to visit [in Australian accent] the land down under. That’s very good, but I’m English, not Australian. Ah, they all sound the same, huh? You know, I always wanted to scuba the Great Barrier Reef and meditate [in English accent] below the equator. You should do that.
Am I tasting hints of fennel? Yeah, with fresh rhubarb. Listen, I know you don’t wanna try my juice, but… [in Cockney accent] maybe a spot of tea, ‘ey? You can’t possibly think that’s what I sound like. You are really cute. No, I’m not. Yeah. Thank you.
Look, why don’t you try my ginger passion iced tea? It’s got fresh mint leaves and ginger. It’s for digestion. And has passion for… uh, well, you know. No, I– I’m marrie– uh. Oh, well, it’s nice to meet you, Mary. [woman] That’s him. Oh, my God, look. Look, it’s him.
You don’t like my tea. I like your tea. Bye, Mary. Bye. So I might not have seen George that time, but I still just have this feeling that we’re going to meet. Isn’t he in a relationship? He’s always in a relationship. But it’s not like he’s married or anything. I mean, he’s 52?
I think if he was going to settle down again, he would’ve done it by now. The eternal bachelor. Maybe he just hasn’t found the right one. I just feel a connection. But you’ve never met him. What about dating sites? People have connections there, and they’ve never met. And then they murder you.
[Poppy thinking] Wow, she must’ve had some pretty bad dating experiences. Celebrities get put on these pedestals, but they’re only people. It’s not out of the realms of possibility that if we met, we’d hit it off. Maybe I just need to give fate a helping hand.
Wow, Poppy, a bottle of wine to say thank you for letting me stay would be fine, but thanks, I’ll take them all. Casamigos– isn’t that George Clooney’s tequila? Well, I’m doing an article on it, so I got it for research. You are not. Oh, yeah? [speaks foreign language] [Poppy] Yeah, hi,
I’m calling to cover the next Casamigos tequila event in L.A. [coughing] Yes, I write for the prestigious U.K. publication, Women’s Chitchat. -It’s a highbrow magazine. -[coughing] And they’re really keen for me to cover the event. Possibly get an interview with George Clooney about why he wanted to develop his own tequila?
Right, okay. Well, no problem. I’ll try you again. Tomorrow. It’s good. [Justin coughing] George Clooney has been seen out and about hitting the road in L.A. on his beloved Harley Davidson. Yes, he’s fast on the road… -[motor rumbling] -[heavy metal playing]
My one Friday off in weeks, and you bring me here. I know you’re a tourist and all, but this is a really random request. I know. This is my treat. I would’ve worn my chaps if you’d given me the heads up. We look slightly out of place. We fit in just fine. Hello.
I do have to say I’m proud of you for breaking out of your comfort zone. Haven’t seen you this loosened up since you were wasted on tequila shots and ripping your shirt off singing “Take My Breath Away.” Stephen was mad at me for that. Apparently I didn’t take his breath away.
Look at the photos on the wall. Those must be the regulars. John Travolta, Hugh Jackman, George Clooney. Oh, really? [chuckles] [man] Hey, George. Do you have a specialty cocktail list? -[woman] Poppy. -Hi, Sharon. Were you going to tell me you were skipping town?
[Poppy] How did you find out? Someone called the office from… Casamigos Tequila, saying that one of our journalists wanted to cover their party in L.A. They called? What did you say? I told them we’re a bloody woman’s magazine. Why the hell would we be covering a tequila event?
I just thought it would be– I heard about you and Stephen. Who told you? He came here looking for you. Look, I don’t want this to bleed into your work. Keep your personal life personal, and don’t turn into a bitter Betty. -[Poppy] I’m not bitter. -Really? You should be.
I’d be so pissed if my husband cheated on me with the nanny. It wasn’t the nanny. We don’t have a nan– we don’t even have kids. Oh, I– I just assumed. Maybe it’s different in England. Here it’s always the nanny. Okay, maybe our marriage hasn’t been that exciting lately.
[Poppy thinking] Unless you count Stephen discovering nose hair trimmers. And how long have you felt like this? I don’t know exactly. Just seems that everything’s changed. Even the coffee shop started putting two shots in the lattes. Just got increasingly bitter. Your relationship with your husband. No, the coffee.
So what do you do when you realize the coffee tastes bitter? Change your coffee shop. Exactly. That’s what I’m doing. I’m changing my coffee shop. Metaphorically. [Stephen, on voice mail] It’s me again. I know I made a mistake. Will you at least hear me? You okay? Mm-hmm.
It’s going to be weird to go back, huh? -Yeah. -[computer phone chiming] -Sally. -Tell her hello for me. [Sally] You’ve come out of hiding. We’re all worried about you, Poppy. Well, you shouldn’t be. I’m fine. Justin’s taking great care of me. Hi, Sally. Been too long. Hi, Justin.
Will you please tell my sister that running away isn’t how you make a marriage work. Oh, sorry, my conscience is calling me. Hello? Well, neither is creating an elaborate bird watching hobby as a cover for an affair. It wasn’t his finest moment. Ironically, it was.
It’s the most exciting thing he’s done in years. I’m just saying– 12 years of marriage. Is this really the end? At least let him pick you up from the airport. I’m not sure I’m ready to leave. Poppy, you’ve had your adventure.
Now it’s time to return to real life. This isn’t you. How do you know? You’re predictable. I’m sorry. I can’t hear you. The connection’s terrible. I said it’s time to come home. -Still can’t hear you. -Poppy. Please let everyone know I’m extending my trip.
Poppy– Okay, seriously, I know she’s your sister, but I was ready to smack her. You sure I can stay? Yes, I like having you here, but we gotta get you some friends. The Black Swan wedding is back on, and my schedule is going to be cray-cray.
I know! You should meet Marcy Campbell. She’s from Texas and new in town. I did her wedding. She’s real fun, heart of gold, but she just hasn’t met anyone here yet. You two will hit it off. Poppy Wakefield. It’s so lovely to meet you, Marcy. [gasps] I love the British accent. So darlin’.
Say something in British. Um, Justin said you moved here recently. [squeals] I love it. So… [in English accent] …proper. Have you been to Downton Abbey? [laughs] N-No, it’s not a real place. So Justin tells me you’re having a Thelma & Louise moment? -No, did he? -Honey, we all go through those.
Since the big move, I’ve been tempted to just pack up the car and– Drive off a cliff? I was gonna say have me a girly road trip, but there’s days I wanna do that, too. Preferably running over Jerry’s body on the way, but that’s marriage for ya. How long have you been married?
Coming up… Four months. I’m so thrilled Justin set us up. I met a couple of people at spin, but they were too clean living for my likin’. I mean, I never trust a person who doesn’t drink. I just don’t. Me neither. L.A. is such a transient town.
Doesn’t help when you’re trying to make friends. But you’ve got Jerry. Who? I only see him when we got some partners’ dinner to attend. I know it well. The “Honey, I’m meeting someone important tonight, so put on a nice dress and tell the story of how we met” kind of nights?
Oh, my gosh, you too? [sighs] Actually we’re hosting something next week. Some political fundraiser thing, I lose track. That famous Austrian chef is doing the catering, and apparently the governor and George Clooney are coming. I mean, in between my bouts of fainting, what am I supposed to say to–
George Clooney is attending a party that you’re hosting? Next week! Oh, I’m a Texas girl. I got a big mouth and big hair, but not the biggest knowledge of what’s going on in the world. How the heck am I gonna play host to movie stars, politicians? Marcy, you’ve got to invite me.
You’ve just got to. I’ve got years of experience accompanying Stephen to business dinners. I could help you with what to say. You’d come? It’s next Wednesday. Oh, I’ll have to check my sched– of course I’ll come. [gasps] Oh, Poppy, I feel like it’s fate we met. I feel it absolutely most definitely is.
[squeals] [Poppy] I might’ve played this moment over and over again in my mind, but I never thought of this one last hurdle. What does one wear when meeting the destined love of one’s life? Poppy, calm down, okay? I mean, if I hear about you on TMZ next week,
I’ll know you didn’t heed my advice about not setting unrealistically high expectations. [Poppy thinking] What? I might be on TV and meet George Clooney? What’s unrealistic? All I expect is a chance encounter with the man of my dreams, and him finding out I’m the woman of his. Exactly.
Marcy, I need your help. This is nice. Honey, no. You belong under a Christmas tree. [sighs] ♪ Slip my high heels on ♪ [squeals] I love it. Get it, girl! ♪ And it won’t be long ♪ I love it. You’re joking. [laughing] ♪ I’m getting close to you ♪ [roars]
♪ ‘Cause I’m never gonna live it… ♪ Maybe. Whose funeral are you going to? ♪ Let’s go ♪ ♪ Dance slow ♪ ♪ Oh, no, no, no, no ♪ Oh, I love it. I love it. ♪ We’re gonna shama lama, lama, lama, lama, hey ♪
♪ We’re gonna swing it the old fashioned way ♪ ♪ Sha la la la la ♪ Justin. Justin. -[Justin] Hey. -It’s me. I’m locked out. I left my keys inside the apartment. Can you let me in? I’m not at home. I’m still at the florist
With Bosszilla and a couple of swans. [sighs] Justin, I’ve got to get ready for the party. I’ve only got two hours. And I have to work. I can’t just leave. It’s George Clooney. Look, Justin. I’m sorry to be a pain, but– Honey, I love you, and, boy, do I love him,
But unless you’re gonna get George to fund my own company, you have as much a chance as he did in space to get me to come home. I’ll call the landlord. [imitating Edward R. Murrow] Good night and good luck. [phone chiming] Is he coming? [Stephen] It’s me. Please don’t hang up.
We need to talk. I’ve got nothing to say to you. I know. I know, Poppy, I’m a fool. I just– I just think that our marriage hasn’t really been spicy for years. -And then this woman came along and I– -What?
I don’t have time for this right now, Stephen. You came! Of course the landlord is out of town. I literally had to fake diarrhea to come here. So, Cinderella, we will get you to the ball. Damn it. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
You’re not coming in? I could really use your eye. Honey, this is already the longest bathroom break in history. Believe me, if I could, I would handcuff myself to you so I can meet him, too. Don’t turn into a pumpkin at midnight. ♪ Tell me your secret ♪
♪ I’ll tell you mine ♪ ♪ Slide yourself over here ♪ ♪ I’ll bring the wine ♪ ♪ ‘Cause you got that something something ♪ ♪ That I like ♪ ♪ Just lay back and let it happen ♪ ♪ It’s only for tonight ♪
♪ It’s only for tonight ♪ ♪ It’s only for tonight… ♪ I’m setting off now, so I’m only going to be, like, an hour late. You know, fashionably late. ♪ Caught up in the moment ♪ ♪ I’m lost in this feeling ♪ ♪ Driven my emotions ♪
[music fades] You here for Poppy? -Yeah. -Really? Welcome aboard the Donnie-mobile. Want some water or anything? Just throw this in the back with the tickets. I think this is still good. [engine grinds, backfires] [Donnie] How you doing? [Poppy] Great. Just late for a party.
Don’t they make you have new cars for this kind of job? Oh, yeah, but they don’t check. Don’t you worry. Donnie will get you to your party in style. What’s that smell? Do you smell something? [coughing] [cell phone chiming] Hi. Poppy, where are you?
Sorry, I had to wait forever for a car ’cause of the rain. And now I’m on my way, and Donnie is getting me there nice and safely. [doorbell rings] [gasps] That’ll be him. -It’s him? -It’s him! Marcy, don’t panic. I gotta go. Will you just get here?
I’ll see you soon. [snores] Excuse me. Wake up. Donnie! Donnie! What? What? What? What? -You fell asleep. -I’m okay. I’m okay. -[tires squeal] -It’s all right. It’s okay. Everything’s fine. It’s all good. It’s all good. I’m okay. It’s all good. I just took a few too many sleeping pills last night.
You have a sleeping problem? I– I got a lot of anxiety. Yeah, I kinda know how you feel. Yeah, they took away my driver’s license. -What? -Yeah, but I’m gonna work it out. It’s all good. It’s all good. You’re probably wondering if the sleeping pills, you know, have worn off by now,
Which is probably, usually the case, but I went to bed at 4:00 a.m., took the sleeping pills, and then, as soon as I got up, I smoked a couple of bowls, and plus I’m heavily medicated anyway, but I think it’s gonna work out– Um, actually, I think we’re here.
-Oh, no, no, this isn’t the address you gave me. -I think this is it. -This is the one. -This is not the address you gave me. -Yep, this is it. This is the place. -No, it’s not. Just over here. Yeah, no, no, no, no.
No, no, this is it. Yes, this is it. -Yes. -I’m sure it’s… I don’t. Okay, okay. Hey, be safe. No, you be safe. Okay. [gears grinding] ♪ I’ve been waiting for ya ♪ ♪ I gotta find ya ♪ ♪ I’ve been trembling ♪
♪ At the thought of ♪ ♪ Your touching ♪ ♪ I’m gonna find you ♪ -Marcy. -Poppy! Where are you? Have you talked to him? Yes, and I’ve already shamed myself asking about ER and Batman when everyone else is talking about Gravity and The Monuments Men.
Poppy, you said you’d be here. And I will. ♪ Only got a way to go now ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ I’ve been waiting for ya ♪ [Poppy] Marcy, I’m biking up the hill right now. Why in God’s name are you dong that?
It’s ok, I’m less than two miles away. Would you like some coffee? ♪ Searching for ya ♪ ♪ I might just ♪ ♪ Track you down ♪ ♪ I’m gonna have ya ♪ ♪ In the palm of my hand ♪ ♪ I’m gonna find ya ♪
♪ Oh, don’t you run ♪ ♪ Ooh, don’t you run ♪ Oh, thank you so much. ♪ Ooh, don’t you run ♪ Where is he? He left 20 minutes ago. -No. -Look. This is his glass. He drank from this. [Poppy] It’s like that weird feeling
you get as a child on Christmas morning. You knew Santa had been right there. He drank from that glass of brandy you left, but you didn’t get so much as a glimpse. Magical yet horrifically gut-wrenching at the same time. I know it sounds stupid,
But it’s like looking for George gives me a purpose, a reason not to think about what’s going on in my life. Do you think perhaps focusing on George gives you a purpose, a reason not to think about the problems you’re experiencing with your husband? That’s what I just said.
[Poppy thinking] How much am I paying this woman? Am I crazy? Well, the good news is you’re not crazy. I mean, who hasn’t fantasized about a dream life away from their own reality? I mean, after all, George. He’s so sexy. I’d fuck him. [Poppy thinking] Who wouldn’t?
[cell phone chiming] [chiming continuing] Hello? Hey, where are you? I thought you were going to stay home to sign for the blood for the vampire wedding. They just called and said there was nobody home. The driver left. Sorry, I was still in bed. I didn’t hear them ring.
Seriously? My boss is kicking my ass, and you’re sleeping in again? I’m s-sorry. I’ve just been– Miserable. I know. For days. Over a party. Look. I’ll make sure I’m here the rest of the day -if they can redeliver. -It’s too late.
I’m on my way to pick it up now. If I’m not there soon, it won’t be fake blood at the wedding. It’ll be mine. [phone chimes] Ugh, you no get up today? Go away. You got George Clooney under there? Would I look like this if I had?
And no, I’m not getting up today or tomorrow or ever again. Okay, I’ll leave you. Irina, why is life so difficult? Why can’t someone just give you a map and directions? For Clooney? You buy star map on corner. No, like a manual for life.
Wish that somebody could just tell me what to do. You should see my friend, Madam Nina. If she runs a brothel or something weird, I’m not interested. She help you with map and directions. She see things. Universe. Like a psychic? Yes. She can see future. I don’t believe in psychics.
They’re just for the sad and desperate looking to latch on to any scrap of hope they can get. [knock on door] Are you Madam Nina? Oh, no, I’m Psychic Sara. Madam Nina had to leave town due to an unforeseen family emergency. [laughs] The irony. It happens. I’ve never done anything like this before.
I’m just looking for guidance, a sign or something. [chuckles] We could all use guidance from the other side from time to time, and that’s what Psychic Sara’s here for. I just need to know that I’m on the right path, if where I’m going is leading me to someone.
It’ll be $50 for a half-hour session, and I prefer to be paid up front. Of course. Thank you. Hmm. Mmm. Well? You’ve traveled over land and sea to get here today. Yes. Hmm. Did someone just tell you that? No, you have an accent. Oh, right, yeah.
But you have gone on a very great emotional journey. And you are in the process of just beginning to learn who you really are. Kind of. Mm-hmm. But what about men? Do you see any men in my life? Yes. I see a lifelong male companion, someone generous and compassionate, terrific sense of humor.
It’s– It’s starts with like a jeh– Juh? J-Jeh… jeh… -Jeh… jeh. -Jeh… jeh. Jeh… jeh. -(stammers) -He’s very flamboyant. J-Justin. Not him. Do you see any, like, men, like love, romance? No. Well, think before you just say it. No. No men. Haven’t you got, like, a crystal ball
Or something that actually gives you right answers? It’s 50 bucks extra. Of course it is. Mmm. Oh. Ah. Oh. Ah, just like I thought. No men right now. I just gave you $50 to find a man in your ball, and now you’re telling me there’s no man? That’s right.
Well, it must be broken because there is a man, and we were meant to meet, so I just need to know if I’m still going to find him or what this all means, but you can’t tell me ’cause your stupid ball– -Stop. -Probably just a paperweight anyway.
-It’s weird. -I bet your name’s not even Psychic Sara. It’s probably just… “Sara.” It’s Sarah. Sorry. Getting too old for this shit. Psychic Sara just told me there’s no men in my life. [chuckles] I love the British sense of humor. I wasn’t joking. Who are you? Alvin Cooney. I’m a producer.
People just call me Cooney, though. Cooney. Close enough. Can we get another jalapeño margarita for this young lady? See? That was sweet. You saw my drink was almost empty and observed what I was having. Stephen used to do that when we were first dating. Well, I’m here now, beautiful.
A man hasn’t called me that in years. At least not a straight man. Well, you must be hanging around a lot of blind straight guys. So, Cooney, what do you think Sara meant, that I’m going to be a lonely divorced woman for the rest of my life? How long you been divorced?
Well, technically I’m not yet. Shh don’t tell the husband. Your secret’s safe with me. [chuckles] Have you ever been to Lake Como? Right now it’s all about lemurs, but I see that totally changing. It’s gonna be– It’s gonna be all about llamas. I love a good llama.
Exactly. I’m working on this beautifully-written film that has a really, really strong llama protagonist. Deep, complex, protagonistic llamas. [chuckles] It should be a psychic llama, that’s shit at seeing the future. You know, I could totally see you playing the leopard antagonist. You know, your voice– your voice is gonna–
Is gonna make you a star. I don’t wanna be a star. Yes, you do. Everybody wants to be a star. Hey, easy. Stop it. Get off me, you big letch. Hey, I’m not the one who throws herself at a highly successful producer, hoping to sleep their way to the top.
All right? You get a reputation in this town, people will not touch you. I don’t wanna make it in this town, you big cliché. God, I didn’t know people like you actually existed. Keep yourself together. You’re a mess. And that llama idea is copyrighted. [clicks] [buttons clicking]
[man on TV] So it looks as though the eternal bachelor could finally be settling down. I don’t think any of us saw that coming. Congratulations, George. And coming up after the break, we’ll be taking a look at what the weather
has in store for us this week. The couple was spotted together over the weekend, and according to reports, she was seen sporting an engagement ring. Reliable sources close the couple confirmed, this is it, ladies. He’s off the market for good.
George Clooney is getting married. [screams] What is it? -What the hell happened? -He’s getting married! -Stephen? -No, George! [sighs] You did not wake me up at 3:00 a.m. over George Clooney! I thought if I came to L.A., I just might meet him. Oh, my– seriously, Poppy. You sound nuts.
I love you but you’re on my last nerve. I can’t take it. Your moping and “Woe is me” and the inconsideration of my work. You sound just like Stephen. Well, if this is what he had to put up with, it’s no wonder that he turned to bird watching.
Well, you’d know all about cheating, wouldn’t you? You’re playing the victim and seem to have conveniently forgotten that you cheated on Paolo before he cheated on you. You’re a hypocrite! You know what? I think you should find another place to stay. [door slams] ♪ Will you hold my hand ♪
♪ I can hardly see ♪ ♪ Will you guide me through ♪ ♪ This maze of truth? ♪ ♪ Will you get me to ♪ ♪ The open field ♪ ♪ Where I can breathe ♪ ♪ And will you lay me down ♪
♪ Beneath the skies ♪ ♪ Will you kiss my face ♪ ♪ And steal my eyes ♪ ♪ Or is this the place ♪ ♪ That we conspire ♪ ♪ To fly ♪ ♪ While I… ♪ Hey. Hey. Didn’t think you’d be up yet.
I got an early start. Justin, I’m so sorry about the things I said last night, how I’ve been behaving. I’ve been a terrible guest, I know, and you’ve been so kind. I’ll be gone by the time you get home. [sighs] Look, you don’t have to leave, but you can’t carry on like this.
-I’m worried about you. -I know. I know. I’m going to get myself together. I promise. Thank you. ♪ Will you tell me what ♪ ♪ I mean to you? ♪ ♪ Will you lie to me ♪ ♪ Like you always do? ♪ ♪ Will you be sincere ♪
♪ While you say it, too? ♪ ♪ Somehow… ♪ You can’t possibly be having a bad day. It’s only 7:00 a.m. You’re the juice guy. Oh, yeah. I know you. Mary from Australia. Barely recognized you. Do I look that bad? No, it’s just–
I look so miserable, I stop runners in their track? [laughs] Yeah. Well, that and you’re kind of cute. So if I wasn’t you’d have just kept running? Oh, yeah, I’d have been gone. “Eh, she’ll be fine.” The name’s Poppy, actually. English Poppy. And you are? Luke. ♪ ♪ San Fernando ♪
♪ Where the skies are not quite blue ♪ ♪ And you don’t have to worry about an ocean view ♪ ♪ San Fernando ♪ ♪ You’re far away from the Golden Gate ♪ Hey. Sorry, I ‘m late. You okay? Yeah, I just…
I wasn’t sure you were going to turn up. Why would I not turn up? I don’t know. It’s my first date in years. This is a date, right? Yes, this is a date. Come on. Do you like this? Yeah, it’s lovely. I knitted it myself. Really? You knit? Yeah, something so meditative
About a man’s hands around needle and yarn. It’s like a symphony. Wow, you’re full of surprises. Yeah. So what did you bring? I’m starving. Well, I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Open. Mm-hm. This is… interesting. It’s a kale-kelp-quinoa cake. I made it myself. Mm, it’s delicious.
I’m just, uh, allergic to kale. That’s a very specific allergy. Anyway, I have another surprise for you. [in Cockney accent] A little Vegemite sarnie, eh? Luke, Vegemite is Australian. No. I could’ve sworn that it was English. It’s fine. I actually do love a Vegemite sandwich. It’s on my favorite spelt bread.
Look. Duck over there. Yeah, it’s diving. It’s good, right? This is so thoughtful of you. It’s easy to be thoughtful when you care about someone. [Poppy] I know I talked about fate and meeting George, but I really do believe, this whole time I was destined to meet Luke.
Don’t you think this still plays into your desire for fantasy… [Poppy thinking] Blah, blah, blah, …reality? He saved me. I knew you wanted to be saved. ♪ You can stop for me and I’m speechless ♪ ♪ Open up to speak and I’m breathless ♪
♪ Something ’bout you, boy, you’ve got it all ♪ ♪ Ah ♪ ♪ So how did we get to ♪ ♪ This, steal a lovers kiss ♪ ♪ Chasing hearts underneath the moonlit sky ♪ ♪ I never thought we’d get so high ♪
♪ And I’ve fallen every time ♪ ♪ Make a wish and take me to the magic of the night ♪ ♪ The stars all fell in line ♪ ♪ Love and fate collide ♪ ♪ Stars all fell in line ♪ [Luke] You get the candles,
I’m going to get the incense, and Poppy is going to be so surprised. Hey, you, what are you doing here? I was going to check on an aerial yoga class nearby. Thought that I’d come and take you. That’s a lovely thought, but you go.
Perhaps we can do our own kind of yoga later at your place. That is what I am talking about. [cell phone chiming] Oh, that’s my boss. I’ll see you later. Okay, goddess. Poppy! I see you’re having a breakdown and have gone and got yourself a toy boy. Oh, God, who told you that?
We’re Facebook friends. Oh, yeah. -I had one in the ’80s. -A toy boy? No, a breakdown. Best thing I ever did. Resigned as housewife and eventually wound up editor of Women’s Chitchat Magazine. So not all bad, then. How would you like to have your breakdown in a weekly column? Are you joking?
Absolutely not. It’s exactly what the readers want to see. It’s tragic, yet humorous. Yeah, that’s me, tragic, all right. It’s relatable. You’d be the voice of thousands of downtrodden wives who would love to have the guts to do what you did. I don’t know. I’ll double your pay packet.
You might need the extra money in the divorce. All right, I’ll do it. Good! And more pictures, please. I just love seeing the weather in L.A. Oh, and more of that hunky boy. [Justin] This is exactly what I need. Cheers to new beginnings. To new beginnings. Seriously, sweetie,
You didn’t really think you were going to meet George Clooney here, did you? No, of course not. Don’t be silly. Anyway, you said you weren’t going to mention it again. Well, it’s good to have my friend Poppy back. Thank you. I love you. I love you, too, princess.
I’m just going to write a couple of lines for the column whilst I think of them. Baby’s first magazine column. Are you just gonna watch me? I’m sorry. I’m just so proud of you. You doing your own thing. It’s inspiring. “They tell me I’m having a breakdown
Just because my husband had an affair, and instead of mourning in misery, I jetted off to L.A. If this is the definition of a breakdown, I wish I’d had one years ago.” ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ My favorite place ♪ ♪ Oh, you take me where I wanna be ♪ [music continues on radio] Wow. Yeah. This is amazing. You know, when I was growing up, especially in my experimental teenage years, I used to come up here
And just collect my thoughts. This is a very special place for me. I wanted to share it with you. Come on. [music continuing on radio] I love the night sky. Makes me feel so alive. There’s a whole world out there. A whole universe. Mm-hmm.
It’s funny. I came here thinking I was looking for something. And I found you. I’m just not sure where I go from here. You’re not going anywhere. I feel like I’ve known you forever. You have. ‘Cause that is what soul mates are. You just get me. I do. In fact, this night–
It’s just begun. ‘Cause I have something planned for us. Are we seeing a show or something? Shh, no questions. No questions. In fact… I think we have to go. Thank you. For everything. You’re welcome. I’m going to make up for the romancing ♪ That you have been missing ♪
Now, get in the car. -It’s my chariot. -[Poppy chuckles] Are you ready to leave, my queen? ♪ Turn so rough ♪ ♪ And who knew his heart ♪ ♪ Could lose such love ♪ ♪ Into the night ♪ ♪ I let our music play ♪
♪ Into the night ♪ ♪ My story… ♪ Oh, I had such a great evening. You know, I can really just see myself having the whole dream with you. Wow. I should probably get divorced first. Look deep into my eyes.
I really want to have intimacy on a whole new level with you. I want– like our animal spirits to make love. And I feel that I am the lion energy. What do you feel you are? Um, the llama? Yes. You know, maybe I’m moving too fast with this,
But sometimes you gotta think with your soul rather than your– your head, right? You gotta just gotta think, to hell with scaring her off. I’m ready to take this relationship to the next level. So I’m gonna give you a night that you are never gonna forget. Are you ready? Yeah. Okay.
Close your eyes. Open. I wanna film you, me and Irina in a tantric three-way. It’ll be beautiful. You insane? You don’t wanna have threesomes with me? No, Irina, I don’t want to have threesomes with you. You tell me she want threesomes.
He say you need love of Russian woman to help you learn good sex. I need to learn good sex? You make love beautifully. I just know that you’re on this whole new kick of unleashing your inner wild child. And I just wanted to do something nice for us as a couple.
I thought that you would be into it. Well, I’m very sorry to disappoint you. It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry. Not sorry sorry. And it’s not okay. You were going to have sex with my boyfriend. And you. I did for you. Him, he not my type. Big misunderstand. Hey, llama lover.
You’re overreacting. Never say that again. And take one step closer, and I’ll really unleash my inner wild child. Does Justin know about this? N-No. No, this– this be our little secret. Keep it that way. Nice knowing you, Luke. [door closes] I mean, would George Clooney want to film a three-way sex tape
With me and the cleaner? Maybe. No, because he’s a gentleman. [Dr. Faye] Well, Poppy, nobody’s perfect. I mean, I’m sure even George Clooney has flaws. I bet he knows Harry Potter’s not from the land down under. Luke was hot, though. [Poppy thinking] And oh, my goodness,
he did have the most amazing– -Poppy. -Hmm? I think for now you should focus on yourself. I mean, you don’t wanna rush into another relationship. Do you know what? I think you’re right. I’ve never had that “Screw men” moment in life, but I’m gonna have it now. Screw men.
It’s time to focus my energy on something more deserving. Good. Good. Like what? What’s with the pumpkins? I figured it out. I know where I need to start putting my energy instead of men. Vegetables? No, charity. We’re gonna sell these to raise money. It’s Halloween soon. Not that soon, but okay.
It’s like, I’m starting to feel sorry for myself, and I saw this article and all the charity work George Clooney does in Sudan. He literally goes into war zones to generate attention and action to stop the war. Makes me realize I really can’t complain about anything. Kind of puts it into perspective, hmm?
Exactly. So we’re going to do this pumpkin drive, and I’m going to write about it for the column. We? Where’s your costume? You’re meant to be a pumpkin. So are you. What happened? They didn’t have my size pumpkin, so I thought this was the next best thing. Anyway, Thanksgiving’s not far away.
It’s not till November. But you know what? You’re British. You can get away with it. [Marcy] Hey, all! Ready to sell some pumpkins? Poppy, what on earth are you wearing? You do not look like a pumpkin. I’m a turkey. Don’t ask. Where’s your costume? It clashed with my skin tone.
By I am wearing orange socks. Wear this. Right. Let’s do this. People, hear me now and listen well. Come and get your pumpkins from the crazy turkey lady, who somehow convinced me to do this on my day off. All proceeds go to charity. [Poppy] Hello. Why are you dressed like a chicken?
I’m a turkey. You look stupid. Marcy, would you like to serve this delightful little boy? I told you it was too early. Oh, and it’s so hot. [groans] Justin, will you give me a hand? [moans] That’s more like it. Hey, put your clothes back on. You’re gonna drive away all our business.
[no audible dialogue] Check out the hottie. -[together] Hi. -Can I help you? Oh, it’s okay. I’ve got this one. No, no, no, no, you’re all right. I’ll handle this, ladies. Oh, thanks– Wow, it looks like you guys are doing amazing. You’ve raised a lot of money. People have been very generous.
Tell you what. I’ll double it if you give me a gobble. That’s disgusting. Pervert. Poppy, he means like the turkey noise. You know, gobble, gobble. -Oh. -Mm-hm. How about you triple it, if she gives you a gobble and I give you a happy ending? Justin! I’m so sorry. We didn’t mean to offend.
It’s okay, no offense taken, and I’m good. Damn, had to try. Okay, Poppy, it’s all on you. Um, I don’t really know how to gobble. It’s like… gobble, gobble. Gobble, gobble. [mock laughs] No, no, it’s more like, Gobble, gobble-gobble-gobble… It is not like that. It is more like, [trilling] [all imitating turkey gobbling]
Collectively terrible. You do the wings, it helps. Like… [continues imitation] This is great. We raised so much money. So the turkey costume was worth it, then. Well, it definitely helped us go viral. What? I tweeted a picture of us in costume. So far almost 5,000 people have retweeted it.
You tweeted me dressed as a sweaty inflatable pumpkin? Oh, who cares what we look like? Got people talking about the Enough Project. The relief effort led by the great Halloween humanitarian turkey. [computer phone chiming] Ugh, doom’s calling. Sally. -Hi, Sally. -Stephen called. Why? What did he want?
He said you filed divorce papers without even discussing it. I have discussed it. With my therapist. There are two people in a marriage. Something went wrong somewhere. So it’s my fault? My husband cheats on me but I must’ve done something wrong
Or it would never have happened? [no audible dialogue] Poppy, you know how fond she is of Stephen, and she’s just really upset about all this talk of you two divorcing. She’s upset? It’s not her husband that’s lying and cheating. It’s mine. Perhaps you could remind her of that.
Look, whatever you decide to do, we will support you. You know that. Yeah, well, you might. Not so sure about her. Sorry Peter, I’m gonna have to go. No wonder you don’t wanna go back. Oh, I feel bad leaving you on your birthday,
But I promise you we’re going to celebrate tomorrow. Don’t be silly. The wedding planner can’t miss the wedding. [sighs] I’m so over it. You have such a gift. You should be fully expressing it. Yeah, well, tell my boss that. Just make sure you’re not on your own.
Irina’s around. You two should get together. I think I’ll be okay. -Have fun. -Ugh, I’ll try. [Poppy] I brought you a cupcake. I thought you would be with friends today. You’re a friend. [Poppy thinking] Kind of. Who I pay. A lot. Justin’s working and Marcy’s on a romantic weekend.
Bit different from last year. Stephen planned dinner. Got tickets to a West End show. I actually had a really lovely evening. Are you feeling homesick? Kind of. I mean, sunshine’s nice, but fall is beautiful in England. I have a great group of friends who I miss.
Some of the husbands are friends with Stephen. So that’s going to be interesting. How are you feeling about the divorce? I’ll be fine. [knock on door] You tell me what I do to make right. Happy birthday. Thanks. I’m sorry, Poppy. Luke, he bad person. He lie– Look, let’s just forget it ever happened
And be thankful he’s not around anymore. He have strange eyes, your husband. Like a bug. You know, he called me all the time at first, but now he just seems to have given up. I mean, I know I told him not to contact me, but still.
If he right man for you, he will come, and he will beg for you to return. And if he no do, in Russia we have a saying. He break your heart, we send Uncle Yakov to break his balls. He’s left me! Oh, my God, what happened?
He got a last-minute meeting on the East Coast and just dropped our romantic weekend and left. I thought meant he’d left left. He has! He’s ruined our wine tour. Ooh, I was madder than a wet hen, but then he was all, “Honey, I’m so sorry.
Take my credit card and have some fun with Poppy.” So happy birthday! [squeals] This is Irina. Three-way Irina? We’re all right now. Hello. [loudly] Hello, Irina. I’ve heard so much about you. So, Poppy, we have to celebrate your birthday. Where do you want to go? Vegas? Jerry’s paying.
Would you mind if we just stayed home? We could have a nice cozy dinner here. We’ve got pumpkins left. We could have pumpkin soup and pumpkin pie. Anything but pumpkins. Tequila. [squealing] I had bad husband in Russia. I didn’t know you were married. Da, the reason I leave and come here.
He cheat with my sister. He sold all my stuff to buy crack. When I told him to leave, he run over my dog. ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ [laughing] I heard there was a slumber party going on. You left the wedding. No. I left the job. Wait. What?
I was standing there holding these ridiculous feather headpieces for the swan bridesmaids, my boss was yelling at me, and I thought, “WWPD– What would Poppy do? She’d just get up and leave and start fresh.” So it’s time to put my creativity to work. I’m starting my own company. Finally!
I’m so happy for you. And I picked up a good-bye gift on the way out. Now, enough talking. We celebrate birthday Russian style. I’ll get shot glasses. Oh, no, not shots. Hell, yes, shots! [laughing, squealing] [snoring] Morning, Charlie Chaplin. [grunting] Mmm, coffee. Mmm. You think she’s okay? Yeah. She’s Russian.
They’re weaned on vodka. -[man on TV] Awkward. That’s our thing. -[changes channel] Got the novice coming in, so we’re going to go just in case. Okay, we’ll move. We’re going. [chattering] Where is it? Do you see it?
Yeah, that one was a rocket. It just sailed over there. See if we can see what it hit. I bet George Clooney wouldn’t abandon our romantic weekend. Or if he did, it would be to save orphans in Burma or something. [knock on door] I’ll get it. Stephen. Stephen? Stephen?
Hey, Poppy. Uh, can I come in? Stephen darling, been too long. Or should I say, not long enough. Justin, fabulous as ever. Awkward. Come on, Marcy. We leave. I can’t believe you’re here. Shouldn’t we go somewhere more private? I’m not kicking Justin out of his home. He was there when we got married.
He can witness our divorce, too. I’ll just be showering away my actions from last night. I had to come. You wouldn’t take my calls. What do you expect? You didn’t exactly try very hard, did you? I’ve been here for months. Took you this long to get on a plane?
I didn’t know how to handle it. I kept thinking, “She’ll come home.” I’m sorry, Poppy. How could you do it, Stephen? How could you sleep with someone behind my back and blatantly lie to my face? I mean, I know things weren’t great, but at least have the decency to finish it first.
I never meant for it to happen. Never meant for it to happen but let it carry on anyway. It wasn’t like that. Well, what was it like? Bird watching. You must’ve both had a good laugh at how gullible I was. We didn’t. I didn’t. I’m sorry, Poppy. Do I know her?
How long has it been going on– is it still going on? I met her through work. It was just a few weeks. Was she good? -Poppy. -Do you love her? No, of course not. Well, you’re not the only one. I met a guy out here, Luke.
He’s 29 1/2, and he’s hot and fit and adventurous in bed and everything you’re not. Hurts, doesn’t it? I just don’t think we can get over this. You had an affair. She said it wasn’t a love affair. It was a midlife crisis. He tried to rope me into a threesome with the cleaner.
Look, Poppy, just know that when you’re ready to come home, I’ll be there. Is that it? What? Was that it? How many Richard Curtis movies have I made you sit through? Notting Hill, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Love bloody Actually. Fight for us. Scream. Shout.
Convince me you can’t live without me. When did Hugh Grant ever run up to anyone and say, “Well, you know, I’m here. Take your time. No hurry.” Actually, isn’t that what he always does? Oh, that’s not the point. It’s not about Hugh Grant. It’s about you.
Look, Poppy, it might be like that in your movies, but it’s a little bit different in real life. If that’s how you feel, you should’ve just saved yourself the air fare. Have a safe flight home! [man on TV] I can’t imagine my life without you. And I don’t want to.
This is making me want to be in love. …till the end of time. But it’s fake and too much. Okay, switching gears, nothing makes me feel better than a dip and a tan. Hmm, sounds good. This is nice. We should do it more often. Totally. [cell phone ringing]
-Hello. -Why haven’t you returned my calls? Oh, hi, Sharon. Sorry, I was just about to call you back. Have you checked your work emails lately? Some post of you in a turkey suit raising money for charity has gone viral, and we’re being inundated with emails.
Now the producers of the 3:00 Show have been in touch, and they want to try you out presenting a weekly segment! What? About what? Divorce. Affairs. Women’s issues. They like you. You’re joking. I’m not, but you better get your ass on a plane and back to London.
I’m not ready to come back yet, Sharon. Of course you are. It’ll be great for the magazine. No, everything’s still– Seriously, it’s a nice offer, but I can’t. [muttering] It’s all right, sitting there, rollerblading, smoking pot on Venice Beach. [Justin] Honey, this could be a really great opportunity for you.
This is the dream. I know, and I know I’ll have to go back eventually, but I’m happy here. I feel as though I’m finally being me. [knocking on window] Stephen! What, you’re still here? -Can I just– -Come in. -Why are you all– -These– for you. -Oh, I can’t breathe. -Here, honey. Some water.
I wanted to tell you I do want you back. So I ran. From the hotel? Why didn’t you just get a cab? Actually I drove over here. I ran from the car. Killed me. Anyway, it’s a romantic gesture, like in the movies.
I do want to fight for you. I came to L.A. to get you back, and it’s exactly what I’m going to do. I believe this is yours, Mrs. Wakefield. I battled rose bushes for five days looking for that. Those scars have only just faded. [panting] Let me just grab my things.
Hi, Paolo, it’s Justin. Would you be open to having dinner with me this week? I’d love to see you. ♪ Wow, this is great. [no audible dialogue] [moans] [growls] I’ve missed you so much. What have you missed the most? Maybe this? Or maybe this? Or maybe this? I’ve missed everything.
Your cooking, doing the crossword together. Making my morning coffee. I’ve missed the way you fold my socks. Can’t wait to get you home. Go back to just the way we were. [Poppy thinking] Go back to the way we were? Folding his socks and cooking his dinner
whilst he plays golf? He did travel halfway around the world to get me, though. And I’m sure all marriages have their rough patches. Hang on. That’s– It’s George. Married. And I… don’t… care… because while George Clooney
is still living and breathing in this world, he will serve as a reminder, a shining beacon to women everywhere that we deserve better. -Stop. -[Stephen thuds] I can’t do this. -What? -We can’t do this. We’ve wasted so many years doing what we think we should do.
Let’s not settle anymore. -George didn’t. -George who? Let’s spend the rest of our lives doing what we want to do. Believe me, Stephen. You’ll thank me for this one day. [Stephen] Who the hell is George? Poppy! So it was never about George Clooney. It’s about not giving up on happiness,
Not settling for what you’ve got just because it seems the easier option. Well, this certainly is a breakthrough, Poppy, but please make an appointment so we can discuss this further. No. Thanks, you’ve been great, but I’m done talking. I’m going to start living. See? I’m that good. Sharon, it’s Poppy.
I’ll do it. I’ll do the show. If other people can learn from my failed marriage, bad sex, and sleazy threesomes, then– Oh, could you ask her to call Poppy when she gets in? Thanks. And Sharon set me up with a rooftop photoshoot for my last L.A. column, with a little help from Justin.
Guess who is the new preferred wedding designer at the Chic Hotel? That’s fantastic. I’m so proud of you, Justin. And I’m so glad that you and Paolo are finally back together. Yeah, well, maybe I wasn’t the perfect partner I thought I was. Aw. Yeah, he begged me to come back.
There’s the phone number for Uncle Yakov. Any man give you trouble, you give him a call and he come break balls for you. Thanks, Irina. A toast to Poppy. [all together] To Poppy. [squealing] Yay! Oh, they look great. Perfect for the last column. Ms. Wakefield, your car’s ready downstairs whenever you are.
Is there anything else you need from me? No, that’s brilliant. Thanks. [cell phone chimes] [George Clooney’s voice] Going down? Uh, no, I’ll get the next one, thanks. All right. Have a nice day. [elevator music plays] ♪ There’s a certain sound ♪ [Clooney] Back to the airport, Carlos.
No rest for the handsome, I guess. Huh? -Oh. -[Clooney chuckling] ♪ When you’re close to me ♪ Not again. ♪ You will hear it ♪ ♪ It’s the sound that lovers ♪ ♪ Hear when they discover ♪ -♪ There could be no other ♪ -[laughing]
♪ For their love ♪ ♪ It’s my happy heart you hear ♪ -♪ Singing loud and singing clear ♪ -[laughing continues] ♪ And it’s all because you’re near ♪ ♪ Me, my love ♪ ♪ Take my happy heart away ♪
♪ Let me love you night and day ♪ ♪ In your arms I wanna stay ♪ [Poppy] Fate– it’s all about timing. ♪ Feeling more and more ♪ ♪ Like I’ve never felt before ♪ ♪ You have changed my life ♪
A man hasn’t called me that in years. At least not a straight man. You must be hanging around a lot of gay straight men. I mean, blind straight men. [laughing] [crew laughs] You know, it’s possible. ♪ I’m not half, I’m whole now ♪ ♪ With your love ♪
♪ It’s my happy heart you hear ♪ ♪ Singing loud and singing clear ♪ ♪ And it’s all because you’re near ♪ ♪ Me, my love ♪ ♪ Take my happy heart away ♪ [woman] Action. Wait. I can explain.
Is that supposed to be a bearded tit? It was. [woman] All right, stop, hold! Oh, never mind. ♪ La la la, la la, la la ♪ ♪ La la la, la la, la la ♪ ♪ La la la, la la, la la ♪ ♪ La la la ♪
Ah… Oh… [chuckles] This is a time– sorry, one more time. [woman] No, that’s fine. That’s great. Oh, I suck. I suck. I’m doing it right now. I got it. There are no men right now. There are no men right now! I don’t know why I can’t get this line.
Maybe it’s a little self– Okay, anyway. Okay, ready. Let’s go. ♪ La, la, la ♪ ♪ La, la, la ♪ [dance music playing] ♪ Pressure ♪ ♪ Life brings so much pressure ♪ ♪ A way to see, a way to feel ♪
♪ Forget what’s real, lose track of me ♪ ♪ Pain ♪ ♪ Life brings so much pain ♪ ♪ Society says I should be… ♪ …at the supermarket. [stifling laugher] I missed our Saturdays. [laughing] [woman] Cut. I missed your cooking. [woman] Cut. ♪ I’m tired ♪
♪ Of looking in the mirror ♪ ♪ Trying to make myself fit ♪ ♪ I’m tired ♪ ♪ Of airbrushed magazines ♪ ♪ Are you telling me this is it? ♪ ♪ Just be ♪ ♪ Don’t lose yourself ♪
♪ Don’t lose your way ♪ ♪ Just be ♪ ♪ Be strong, stand tall ♪ ♪ Be proud today ♪ ♪ Just be ♪ ♪ Light your fire, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Just be ♪ ♪ Be yourself ♪
♪ Everyone else is taken ♪ ♪ Pressure ♪ ♪ No diet’s gonna run my life ♪ ♪ Maybe I should just try to loosen up, buy a bigger size ♪ ♪ Pain ♪ ♪ We put ourselves through so much pain ♪
♪ Maybe it’s time to love what’s mine ♪ ♪ ‘Cause I’m just fine ♪ ♪ Just be ♪ ♪ Don’t lose yourself, don’t lose your way ♪ ♪ Just be ♪ ♪ Be strong, stand tall ♪ ♪ Be proud today ♪
♪ Just be ♪ ♪ Light your fire, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ ♪ Just be ♪ ♪ Be yourself ♪ ♪ Everyone else is taken ♪ ♪ Ooh… ♪ [woman] Lovely. I think– -[gasps] -[laughing] You okay? [woman] All right, we’re good. Cut.