Breakwater festival 2023: Feminine Role Models within Stories

Here is my live discussion with Paster @PaulVanderKlay at this year’s Breakwater Festival in Mannheim, Germany. We begin with looking at feminine role models in both past and contemporary stories, but touch on the masculine as well. This was my first time doing a live conversation in front of an audience and I had a fantastic time.

Pls let me know what you think in the comments!

Hello can you hear okay can you can you hear me I’m running the show just to be clear so Paul no trying to no just kidding you’re you’re good at giving difference so um I’m Andrea with the bangs nice to see you all oh I feel like

We’ve moved in that’s good um can you hear me is it C is okay we’re we’re good okay so my talk I need my hands I’m a hand talker so my my it’s not a talk it’s it’ll be a conver conversation conversation um between Paul and me but

I I want to start by um oh yeah maybe some of you haven’t seen my channel my uh YouTube channel is called Andrea with the bangs and my podcast is called uh she wonders why because I’m a very curious person and it also was vague and enough that I could talk about whatever

I want So lately though I’ve been wanting to explore um femininity and masculinity as found in stories uh I see story and narrative both in the ancient forms and modern forms in like say film or television as our way that we can focus on understanding uh the feminine and the

Masculine and um so our conversation today will be centered on um femininity and masculinity and how to understand that in a world where these roles are becoming blurred and so Paul you said something about um the wind and how we can we can’t see it but we can see it

Move the leaves um I felt like that about understanding what it is to particip at in the feminine or in the divine feminine and and I don’t I I wouldn’t have known hey there’s a meaning crisis and roles as well are not clear I wouldn’t have known that a few four or

Five years ago I wouldn’t have known to say that exactly but I could feel it and we all have our own personal stories I personally grew up without a father my father passed away when I was just a year old so I thought it was that like oh I I I’m missing something

Foundational so it must be that I don’t know how to handle or be this um embody this um like Womanhood or femininity in a way that I understand it must have been because of my own personal story but I think it’s bigger and so um Paul I

Guess I want to know why why would you say um understanding who you are within the feminine or who you are within the masculine why is that foundational why is it so Important towards the end of War Thomas came to sort of redirect a bit I think because what one of the things that many people noticed who have had a fair amount of experience with Estuary which is a very different group process tool than the Mandela process that we

Just saw was all of these guys rushing into the middle making their points this was very masculine and and we could feel that masculine energy and there’s nothing wrong with masculine energy the when Jordan Peterson had his first onstage conversation with Sam Harris that was the first time I began to in

Some senses note the tension the masculine and feminine tension in the meaning crisis because I I immediately differentiated God number one and God number two which got a lot of interest because as a monotheist then everybody wanted to know either what was God number three or if I

Was dividing God and just just just just initiated all of those dogmatic reactions but as I I said to everyone that one and two were they’re just sort of containers on my workbench and as I began to continue to understand verve’s work as I began to understand the relation the agent Arena

Relationship as I listened to Jonathan Pau and you discussed we did a three-way conversation about the feminine the feminine has a very peculiar Dynamic that is extraordinarily powerful yet elusive the feminine at the same time draws attention and yet hides there were a while back there was a viral video about

A very attractive young woman in a gym wearing very tight clothing doing a particular exercise that looked a lot like a sexual act complaining about the 95 other 95% of other people in the gym who were men watching her do this exercise now for most men we’re

Like if that happens in front of me I can almost not pay attention to it and you might ask the woman why would you wear that and do that exercise in plain view of all of the men if you didn’t want attention and the truth

Is she did want a kind of attention and she did not want other attention and so that’s part of the dynamic of the feminine because the moment you make the implicit attention explicit there’s something of the feminine power has been violated and it goes back to the other

Position and so when we with now an estuary model is very much a small group protocol which means in my once I ideally try tried to run it in a group of five or six people which is a closed Circle whereas in the Fishbowl it’s a much different Dynamic it’s made for a

Very different type of process in group a much larger group so here’s the interesting thing about the feminine which is which would be in many ways the listening mode once the listening mode draws attention to itself or is pointed out it is in that way it becomes

Masculinized and so part of what we’re dealing with as a culture that has gotten in Ian mcgilchrist terms you know far to he’s got the the master in the Emissary has gotten far too oriented in some ways to the masculine well when the feminine tries to when there’s a realize that there’s

An imbalance between the two you can’t really to the degree that you impose the feminine you turn it into masculinity and in that sense it’s a very tricky dance to rebalance the two agent Arena Works similarly and so in the meaning crisis one of the things that I think

Has been helpful with respect to Estuary which John Von noted fairly early on was the real power of the Estuary protocol is listening not talking the listening is feminine and when I was looking at this process I said to somebody this morning you know the real power of this process it’s the

Relinquishing of the chair we don’t notice that we pay attention to the taking of the chair but if no one relinquishes the process dies and so I think it’s in that sense that it the feminine is so hard for us to pay attention to because in a sense the drawing of attention to

It you lose it and so you have to sort of let it be but that’s really hard so why has it become so muddled like why is the feminine being so easily turned masculine it has it all it’s not always been this way throughout time and Memorial I feel like our ancestors had

A clearer concept of this is feminine we don’t mess with that this is masculine we don’t mess with that not to romanticize the past but it feels like we don’t know where lines are yeah in in modernity the Emissary is the um the explicit the VIS the the the thing that you can

See um it is the conscious it is the controlled and by virtue of that it is always limited and agentic I’m I’m not a golden age thinker that thinks in the past it was better in the past and we’ve somehow lost it modernity has brought to this Dynamic a certain problem because in

Many ways modernity is very masculine and agentic and explicit and so you you see this in conversations around masculine and feminine you’d hear this in the church that women have no power in the church unless they are in the positions of ecclesiastical office or visual structural Authority I lived in churches all my

Life and I know that’s not true because often some of the most powerful people in the church are the women even if they hold no positions I had a friend who was a minister and he was having a council meeting and in that church only men could be on councel and

One of his Elders they had a proposal and one of his Elders said I have to pray about this and the minister handed him his cell phone and said why don’t you call your wife right now because he knew and and this is the dynamic between the arenic which tends

To be feminine and the agentic which tends to be masculine that I mean container came up in the conversation this morning container is often quite it’s the implicit context that maybe we can’t name but in a modern sphere if you can’t name it in modernity that doesn’t

Exist ah the feminine we’re always in that context and we just are not conscious of the context and so I think for that reason people have noted for example in Hollywood stories which is you know what you’ve really been focusing on on women have status when they act like

Men and it’s gotten to the point of female characters always winning physical fights which we look at and say nah I’m I’m 6’4 240 PBS my wife is 5 foot6 130 PBS should I say that um my wife’s pretty tough should we edit edit it out she she never watches this

Stuff but in a fist fight but who has power oh my wife is always an arena that I am working in even here thousands of miles away so I think the struggle came in modernity and now that modernity is receding people don’t know how to act what do you mean by modernity is

Receding similar to what I said this morning what somebody made Dr Jim the cardiologist from Idaho he was the one that pointed out to me he said new atheism arose because the modernists began to feel it slipping away when when someone is secure in their position they can be

Very feminine they don’t need to talk they don’t need to assert and demand but when you feel what you value slipping away that’s when they arise and he said you know the implicit modernism is receding and so the new atheists arose to try to bring it back

To the top but what that showed and I think you pointed out very well there’s this there’s this enormous irony with Sam Harris that on one hand he is the most modern masculine asserter but then he says oh but we need meditation oh explain that he doesn’t explain it

Very well because it doesn’t fit into his system but modernity has been we probably as a culture reached Peak modern ity in the 20th century it began to recede probably in the first world war but these things take a long time and they’re very uneven so I think part

Of the reason we are seeing what we’ve been seeing in this little corner is modernity is receding and we’re beginning to understand again in I mcgilchrist’s terms that the Emissary is only an emissary and we’ve not been paying any attention to the power of the master

So if we’ve been okay to use the Ian migil Crest example if we’ve been paying mostly attention to and acting out of the Emissary it seems like on the one side women are being told you can be a mom you can have a career you can

I be whatever you want you can have it all we’re being told we can do this men are being told you can’t do this you can’t do this you can’t do this so from what you’re saying it sounds almost like why why aren’t we super well practiced at the masculine and then why

Are the why why isn’t it like the women being told oh we don’t know what to do with you it seems like it should be flipped but it’s not are you following me yeah is there a question in there women why is it that way then why isn’t

It women have been saying we don’t have any power and men and they’ve gotten men to a degree to say okay Dynamic like that you understand who has the power I I I I forget who it was having the conversation but someone said women always control the cultural

Narrative and you say well how can you say that because the men are the ones in all of the explicit positions yeah Marette person on the stage or the person holding the strings and it’s a extremely capable power move to say I’m not holding any strings okay

So when no no I’m not disagree no I agree no what the thing that I F when I when I realized the when I was given the words you know these are all things I’ve seen but I didn’t know the the words to explain when I was given the explanation of

Well well we all want to be the hero we want to be the Luke Skywalkers instead of the Princess Leia I actually think Princess Leia had a lot of agency by by the way just to be clear um and they were the same age right and she was always way more

Whatever sorry I just recently watched Star Wars with my boys and it was nice anyway so it but when I was given the understood this role of I want to be the superhero women wanting to have that active role in the hero’s journey rather than the more passive role of being the

Dam in distress um when when I understood oh this is what’s being asked like oh we want to be the ones who save rather than being saved we don’t want to be saved you know we want to be the one doing the saving that’s that’s what my interpretation of

This is what who says that having physical strength and vanquishing the dragon physically who says that’s better what what if you used other things to I don’t know like feminine Wilds are a thing you know like Scarlett Johansson she was like oh the early Marvel um movies I like I really I

Wish they would have had me fight my way in instead of using her like uh Black Widow’s looks to get in like you left the men standing instead of killing them you know or knocking them out or whatever it is that happens to them in these Marvel films but like you used

Your implicit way of getting in without being super explicit about getting in you know getting into the building or whatever so I I don’t when did who says who says that being a physically strong is better than the way say um Sarah Connor is strong in

Terminator 2 I I always use this example I say who is stronger men or women two men can best the strongest man and let’s talk about real fights okay not what we see on Hollywood one takes on a dozen generally speaking two men can best the strongest man one woman can colonize a

World what did Helen of Troy do and let’s look at the Star Wars story so how does it start you know 2D2 oh there’s something on there fiddles with it little thing help me obiwan you’re my only hope okay now let’s what we’re going to do is watch

Luke but where is the center of the story let’s not watch us watching Luke let’s look where Luke is watching what is the center of the story what is moving that story forward it is the princess lukee is being drawn to that princess now all of our attention is

Being paid to Luke moving and acting and fighting and failing and there’s the hero’s journey but the hero’s journey is always being gravitationally drawn towards the princess the princess is the center of the story not Luke but it’s sort of a deception because all of our attention is we’re watching Luke and so

Culturally we’ve been watching Luke and saying ah Luke is the center of the story but that’s not where Luke is looking Luke is looking at the princess he’s gonna kiss his sister now we all know that’s coming but um the princess is she she kisses him oh okay well the

Princess is the center of the story but that’s the best example of the feminine you don’t see it because you’re watching Luke but she’s actually the center of the gravity and all of the story is moving in her Direction and then all the scenes after what are they trying to do they’re

Trying to get the princess now modernity looks at Luke and his power and says that’s power okay let me ask you what’s more powerful the artillery shell or the gravity that’s going to bring it to land and explode we all pay attention to the artillery shell or the rocket but you

Know what’s powering it the gravity the gravity is the feminine and so in this case it’s Princess Leia who’s help me obiwan that’s what’s moving the story forward but we don’t see it which is why it works so why why don’t we see her importance like

Why do women it feels like okay it feels to me like we’ve been told we’ve been sold a narrative that you want to be luke you want to be the hero men and women but women it’s new new so you you should also want to

Be the hero too you should not want to be saved that’s weak it’s looked at as weak to be needing to be saved and but from where did that come Obi-Wan Kenobi the Garden of Eden that’s the ba but that’s the basic narrative now again you’re talking to a

Calvinist and what that means is as human beings we cannot secure ourselves we cannot save ourselves we can’t one virus can wipe us out one one one cell that decides it doesn’t want to play with the rest of the cells and becomes cancer puts the entire organism we can’t save ourselves and

Well we want to be self-sufficient Oh you mean we want to be God yeah we do want to be God can we no and so the the the interesting dynamic between the masculine and The Feminine is the feminine actually has the power and has always had the power but here’s

An interesting reality about feminine power it isn’t so much it isn’t wielded like masculine power it isn’t as agentic as masculine power it is more received so like I said one man the strongest man can be bested by two or maybe three men but the most beautiful woman can best a nation

Okay but that power that she wields like so the hot girl that goes to the gym she would like to be able to wield that power and only direct it to the one guy she wants and in that way colonize him that power doesn’t work that way

That power Just goes out and she starts colonizing a dozen men and she’s like no no no no no sorry you have received that power and in a sense even in your paity that’s how you wield it and women sort of know this you can’t make it

Happen you you let it happen and that’s their frustration they wait for The Suitor to propose do they do they Paul well they they they lose status sometimes when they don’t because in a sense they relinquish the feminine and take on the masculine but men have feminine and masculine women have masculine and

Feminine we all have both all both is within all of us but the different modes have different powers and so much of what’s been happening is women have been really working hard to wield the masculine that’s fine they do it well but these things are two sides of the

Same coin if you’re wielding one you’re losing the other and as a culture what we have lost is the recognition but again recognition is very tricky because recognition is making the implicit explicit and therefore you’re already crossing the border into the masculine and you’re already crossing the board the reason

You want to make it explicit is so you can wield it and once you’re wielding it you’re bringing in those limitations right away and so there’s no escaping these Dynamics when you say bringing in those limitations can can you go over that again I’m trying to piece it but I’ve

Lost that little bit that you did you lose if Princess Leia well and she does this to a degree in the story but why do we why do we love the woman that is effortlessly virtue that is effortlessly beautiful and attractive humble and self-forgetful and we pause at the woman

Who is beautiful and wields it when we see the be the woman who is beautiful and wields it in an agentic way she is diminished the woman who is beautiful and lets in a sense the beauty work through her um and so CS Lewis in the great divorce has this great illustration of

Sarah Smith and Lewis is very much taking Dante um in in there and Sarah Smith is going through and there’s this huge procession around him her she’s she’s there are many men and women attending her the beasts as Louis says are attending to her and and she is just the

Most beautiful and he says of her her kind of love she had many children and then Lewis says to McDonald what didn’t the parents of those children didn’t they feel threatened by the fact that she had so many children and everyone who came all the children that came around her

Were felt like they were her children he said no that kind of love made them more secure with their parents too and he said many all the all the men who knew her became her lovers in a sense and Lou says well didn’t that make all the other wives feel threatened and

He said no because her kind of love made all the men who became her lovers better lovers of their own wives and that’s an example of that power whereas the woman who has Beauty and is attracting other women’s husbands to herself that’s not real Beauty the real

Beauty is the beauty that oh I now love my wife more because of her beauty and and what when we hear that we almost say that’s impossible but is it and I think that’s that’s where when we I remember Pou saying trying to talk about this

This is so hard to talk about because again once you make it explicit it sort of goes away and and that’s what’s so difficult about having this kind conversation because in order to bring it into the room we have to make it masculine and so it hides but yet when it

Happens it just happens we can’t wield it but it’s there hence the uh my vintage fashion is helping it to be grounded and to remain no but I I think that it makes sense regarding what you’re saying about she who wields it I’m thinking I

Think I heard a clip um on the symbolic world of Jonathan pjo speaking about the the evil queen with her mirror who’s the fairest and then Snow White being like you you don’t know you’re beautiful like she doesn’t know she’s beautiful like she and that there is a power that

Surpasses um that of her stepmother who actually in the original like the original original fairy tale it was her biological mother it wasn’t a stepmother they added the stepmother in later iterations to make it slightly more palatable but it was her actual mother in the original which really is quite telling um but

It’s it is something that like we are told again you can have it all like you can you can have the the looks and you can have the career you can have and it will will be of no detriment to yourself and it does seem like it is a

Detriment I didn’t have a question in there but no I and I think that’s I think I didn’t know that about the original but it makes Absolut absolutely perfect sense so what does it mean to be a human being I would say to be a human

Being we are we are created to be the conduits of God God you know we are image bearers of God God flows into the world through us he also in um holy holy holy Isaiah chapter 6 um Isaiah goes to the temple holy holy holy God is

Different you can make no image of me the whole earth is full of his glory okay so we’re not the only conduits of God to the world but that’s how we are made and I I remember Katherine from Thunder Bay talking about this process by which the

Mother first of all the evil queen looks in a mirror there’s a tell because the beautiful girl who looks in the mirror all the time is not as beautiful as the beautiful girl who knows nothing of her beauty because she never looks in a mirror and

So the but wait why I don’t know but that seems to be exactly the way it is the woman who is unselfconsciously beautiful is more beautiful than the woman who is self-consciously beautiful because the self-consciously beautiful is looking to take this and wield it according to her

Own designs and the good mother this is this is the humble selfless part The Good Mother glories in the fact that her daughter is more beautiful than she is the good mother is not threatened by her beautiful daughter what’s happening between the mother and the daughter there is that

The mother is threatened by the beauty of the daughter and instead the mother should be I want my daughter to be more beautiful than myself and every good parent should say I want my children to be smarter more moral more Su I want my children to be greater than me

And that’s actually the glory of the parent to relinquish their power to the child that’s what good parenting is and so the mother should not be looking in the mirror you know anxious for her own grasp on power but be looking at the daughter who isn’t looking in a mirror

And saying do you want to know who the fairest of them all is it’s my daughter look look at her and the daughter doesn’t even know how beautiful she is I look at this now with Cassidy and ferie and their baby girl because in many ways what the

Parent does is say look at my child isn’t she glorious don’t look at me look at my child and I think that’s how when that happens glory is a funny thing think about Two Chefs both of them do amazing the two two bakers baking cakes they both bake amazing cakes one Baker comes

In with his cake and says here’s my cake try it and he puts it out and so you pick up the plate and you start eating and the baker is watching you how is it how is it isn’t it great isn’t it good that Baker diminishes the glory of the

Cake the other Baker comes in puts the cake on the table slices it sets the table and says enjoy and then recedes and watches and or maybe doesn’t even let you know they baked the cake isn’t that how God works and then just watches people the baker who is conscious about

Their attachment to the cake dim diminishes the glory of the cake the caker who sets out the cake and lets the cake be the glory glory is Multiplied and it’s the same thing with beauty and I think that’s the feminine the feminine is the baker who sets the

Cake on the table and just enjoys the glory they have brought into the room okay so that brings me to ask how I mean I from my wanderings over the past few years I’ve come to the conclusion that that it’s story and narrative that helps to bring us

To the grounding of what does it mean to be masculine what does it mean to be feminine what like in a healthy way um so I sort of just answered my own question but I what do you see that as the way to ground ourselves in these

Roles or I mean of course there are other ways but how do you see us as a society um moving forward finding the masculine finding the feminine um participating within it how do we do that well I think stories transmit and propagate part of the

Irony has been and part of the irony of let’s say the POU Brothers Ministry has been if you have to explain a story something has been lost and diminished now fortunately many stories are powerful enough that an explanation of the story if you begin to realize that that

Exclamation has not exhausted the story then you know the story is yet more powerful than the explanation as remedial effort we have tried to explain the story as remedial effort we are trying to explicate the Dynamics between masculine and feminine here but we will not exhaust it and that’s

Good the best kinds of stories lead us to know in a in a in the other three PS lead us into knowledge in Spanish Kad rather than just sabed they lead us to know in ways that are deeper than we can explain and so in that sense stories are great

Transmitters because little girls might watch Star Wars and say I want to be Princess Leia do they know why no they just know that’s what I want to be oh so you want to be the center of the story he like no no no Luke is the center of the

Story no no no it’s Leia and the little girls might know that intuitively because they know that Luke is actually chasing she’s the one so stories have that built into them and so that’s why I think on one hand and I think Jonathan’s pivot from doing all videos explaining stories this is

How symbolism Works to getting into here’s the story it’s sort of like the baker here’s the cake that kind of feminine energy requires a deep trust in my opinion in God the masculine says I need to make it happen the feminine says I’m going to let it happen will it happen I don’t

Know it may happen it may not happen but I’m going to let it happen instead of here’s the story here’s what the story is about it’s like explaining a joke and if the explanation exhausts what it seeks to explain it’s spent so we’ve talked quite a bit

About the feminine which I’m sure all of you here can very much appreciate being being the lovely men that you are but but so so we’ talked about well I mean a lot has changed for for women in in modernity and in this sort of postmodernity as you were saying it but

So for and so I I actually do have a picture of what um because that’s what I focused on I I I have a good picture of what it does mean to be feminine and to participate Again part of it is well it’s not talking about it it’s joining

The knitting club on Discord which I broke into tears about a couple nights ago when I was talking about it I’m glad I got that out of my system but it’s it’s a participation in like the ancient Arts of knitting but it it is it was and it touched something

Deep within me and it was beyond what it was you know and such things but for for I mean I have three sons so this is within my interests as well and within society’s interests but I have a selfish personal interest of wanting my sons to know know where they’re going and what

To embody as they go forward and so what what are men to do you’ve given a good explanation of what how how what how the feminine works it’s re relinquishing control and allowing things to happen but for men like taking up well dare I say taking up their cross

Like like what do they do what what’s their Direction what’s their path I I think actually men have been doing what they’ve always done women say you know part of the way part of the reason part of the reason women have been in the marketplace a big part of the reason

Women let’s say in America after the 1970s started getting into paying careers was when divorce rates began to climb many women realized I can’t trust men if they divorce me now some of those divorces were initiated by women but if the man divorces me I don’t have a

Career and so many women and fathers said to their daughters at least get a degree so that if the marriage fails you have something to fall back on now this is of course after things like dowes and bride prices which had been which had been practiced is in the older

World where if the marriage fails that big lump of money she gets that because she’s going to need that and so there were all these adaptations and so in many ways men have been doing what they’ve always done and the women said I need a job okay men have been continuing just as

Ephesians 5 men have been continuing to lay down their lives for the women and it was a woman who made this point to me actually it’s behind the pay wall um I remember now it was Laura who made the point and it’s so funny because every time Laura and I do a conversation

Laura’s like we can’t post this out on the open internet so you’re being very feminine about this you’re staying hidden can I post it behind the $3 membership yes you can okay and we have some of our best conversations but she says oh women totally run the show

And Men continue to do what they’ve always done the woman says this is what I need and the men say okay if that’s what you want honey I will do it and that’s what men need to continue to do now the difficulty about that for women is be careful what you ask for

Because the good man will probably give it to you but now you the burden of agency and responsibility because you’ve set the table and life always has consequences so I think men men continue to try to Good Men continue to try to do what they’ve always done which is serve

The women in their lives fathers serve their daughters father husbands serve their wives it’s what Ephesians 5 says and um it’s that subtle dance so I think men are continuing to try to figure out how can we serve these women especially now that they’re not exactly sure what they

Want and sometimes they’re asking for things and then getting it and saying no that’s not what I wanted okay well what do you want now and the men keep doing it men have always laid down their lives for their women they’ve done it in war and the Apostle Paul in Ephesians 5 says

To men that’s your job lay down your lives for your women and they do so men have to keep figuring that out and that’s why I think the part of the manosphere which is like men need to take control of women it’s never gonna

Work yeah you can be a jerk you can use women but then you’ll never know the power of masculine and feminine working together because that’s the power of the world so yeah that’s men have to men men are men are still chasing the women around and it’s the women saying I want

This I want that and so the men are okay okay but hopefully together we’ll continue to figure it out okay but but okay so my say my sons grow up and they’re young adults like they don’t have to be in a relationship or the other half of a a CO

Like if they’re going if they’re striving to be a good man they might not have a partner yet so what about the single men do you know what I mean like I okay you are giving a sort of bird’s eye view example of society but like bringing it down um on a an

Individual level where there’s not necessarily A partnership going on and it might be um single men like I’ve heard the statistics about so many men who feel like they don’t know they don’t have a Direction They Don’t and not in like derogatory way like oh in their basement

Playing video games but they might be like I don’t know what to do I don’t know where to go and yes a good woman can inspire you action but if it if that’s not being seen um how do you inspire a young man to go

Forth well your sons as they grow up um and because at least from what I’ve seen from you you I I I imagine you’re a very good mother and as your boys grow into men even though they might not listen to you and take all of all of your advice

If you were in trouble there’s probably nothing they wouldn’t do for you so again the feminine implicitly directs the masculine that’s the way it works now there’s going to be other feminine powers in the world the church is what the bride of Christ and so obvious viously if they’re in a church they

Might not have a woman in their life directing them but perhaps the bride of Christ is directing is directing them and being the gravitation towards which they they flow and um men there are always there’s always feminine there’s always the feminine around directing men and so

Whether it’s a mother or whether it’s a wife or whether it’s a institution you know why for for example our ship’s always feminine and all the little Sailors are serving the ship that’s there will be plenty of feminine for them to follow and um not everyone not every man

Will become a husband or a father but there will be plenty of other roles for them to follow and yeah I don’t men will always men will always seek it out that’s just what they do I’m skeptical though I I I suppose it is a fear I I’m afraid

That the the the fem Bots or whatever will come and capture attention this is easier there’s a path of least resistance she won’t make me feel bad about my fortnite habits or like whatever you know whatever like it it’s something that is a very real concern like there’s not okay there

Might be there might be battles being fought around the world or Wars but there’s not like a great War to draw all the young men towards a cause to rise up and and show their worth it feels like it feels like there isn’t a calling and which is why

So many people are here because of Someone Like Jordan Peterson or John REI or Jonathan peo because they’re giving a call of sorts that men respond to that’s why there’s mostly men here rather than women because it’s there there’s there’s a message touching on something and it seems to be

This like call to responsibility call to be your best but like why was that need there in the first place there’s a brutal balance to reality which is when things aren’t working well they fall apart and when they fall apart think about shivalry who is the Knight the Knight is beholden

To a woman not a woman that he will ever possess but a woman that that is his North Star who is pure and of course just look at Mary in the Catholic Church she’s pure she’s a Perpetual virgin um and so yes there’s porn and there’s fortnite and there are all of

These traps that men can fall into and if there’s enough of these traps and enough man enough are falling into society tends to go down I was talking to Teddy about the Ukraine and he was talking to me about Russian and Ukrainian and all of these things and I

Was like and I said but then the war is a distraction he said no no no the war is not a distraction the war is whoop all of the attention the war is in a sense feminine it’s the context and now all of these do you think that Ukraine

Is full of a whole bunch of young men that are wasting themselves on porn and fortnite right now no a much stronger thing has taken hold of them and they are training and taking up arms and now that’s brutal and we certainly don’t want things to fall that way but there’s

A cycle to this and so what we try to do is arrest the cycle before it gets that bad but that’s part of how the world works so yes as Things Fall Apart well the masculine and The Feminine will go to Greater lengths and things will get corrected and this

Is part of the reason why Wars of various kinds and various levels of physical violence are so endemic because as Things Fall Apart the feminine will call the masculine and the masculine will act now hopefully the feminine is directing in a good way and the masculine is acting in a good

Way but again think of chivalry in the night the female is unobtainable which means the masculine has infinite potential towards her and if that is functioning profit properly balance can be restored is it the force is that no because fine the assertion of the man and what’s the between the and

Mother alol and drugs but so you decide I’m going to keep my boys away from porn fortnite alcohol and drugs and so you try to you become the devouring mother you lock your little boy boys in a box and you keep them from all the now that they’re little your

Boys are still small so I’ll only let you watch these YouTu you know that’s the job for you right now for them their sides but if they’re 25 and they’re still living at home and Mom can I watch another Jord video only Jordan Peterson not PA Vander

Clay he’ll lead you a PR um if you’re doing that when they’re at 25 well now you’re assertive energy you’re trying to make it happen instead of letting it happen with the feminine energy that would be more appropriate for the relationship and that’s the difference the devouring mother

Versus the the beautiful mother who well why don’t they why won’t they get get caught in these traps because my love for my mother isn’t controlling me it is drawing me oh you’re gonna make me tear well you know you mentioned crying before and so women in the Christian Reformed Church

Are now Elders deacons pastors they participate at Sate of the Christian Reformed Church because everybody was sort of watching that through me last summer lot of you know some people were complaining and some of the women on the senate floor cried and I heard a bunch of men

Say see that’s the problem they cried on the senate floor and I thought well this is interesting because a woman crying is sort of a little telling moment of this Dynamic of power well how do tears manipulate you you think well why why are you so reactive to a woman crying

Ah because her tears are expressing her pain and some masculine thing in you is saying I don’t want her to feel pain and so a woman’s tears are powerful but you might think how could tears have power ah it’s feminine power and so when men feel that they’re she’s using her

Power and that’s the struggle we’re always in men well when men cry they are using feminine energy and feminine power and so for many women when when women see men cry when men see women cry men want to save the women when women see men cry women think I can trust

Them so I had a um I had a guy who was an older guy who had taught a lot of children and said boys and girls in school are different girls come to school and look at the teacher and say can I trust the teacher boys come to school to look at

The teacher and say is the teacher competent when women are looking for men what are they looking for can I trust him watch the golden Bachelor now look at this guy he listens he loved his wife he cries these women look at him and say I can trust him oh that’s attractive but

There’s some feminine energy in there women also look sometimes at the man who is strong and assertive and so women see that potential and think wow if that man has his eyes on me all of that power will be directed where I direct it now again if

The woman is thinking that we think oh she’s a manipulative shrew but the woman who for whom that is true and is selfless and is good and is pure will direct all of that male potent Energy power strength to the good and so suddenly she has I’ve seen this often very masculine

Men have very feminine WI lives and a combination like that incredible incredible because nobody looks at that woman and says oh she’s a manipulative shrew they look at that woman and think I wish I had a wife like her and that very powerful man knows it and whatever that woman wants she

Gets so I have a story slightly it’s not even a story but it’s a it’s a an adage I not even an adage no it’s just a situation in my life where when I when when my husband and I were became engaged um and actually and years into our

Marriage I would my friends would always say you’re so lucky to have your fiance you’re so lucky to have your husband I’m like he’s lucky to have me like that’s like I would I mean I wouldn’t say that right away the first 10 times I was like

Yeah I know thank you yes but then but then like the 11th and 12th and 50th I was like okay yeah yeah he’s great he’s wonderful he’s phenomenal I know he’s lucky to have me too guys and that was me rearranging my feminine energy into a little more sort of masculine I’m nice

Too he’s luy to have me thanks you know but and I don’t even know if I said this I just thought it but but it it’s be it it is not to be um not to be downplayed how um blessed I am to have a really wonderful husband but to

The point about the tears thing there’s a there’s a George McDonald’s story called The Light princess I don’t know if any of you have heard I would recommend it so I um I had to read it for a children’s literature class but it’s it’s been I think of 20 20 years

Since I’ve read it but I still remember the moral and so she she doesn’t have gravity so she’s light but she’s also takes everything lightly so she can never be serious and it isn’t until um super symbolic there’s like a snake that’s like sucking up the at the

Bottom of a lake that’s whatever but it isn’t until the prince figure is near death and he’s sacrificing himself to the snake or something like this in order to save her and she she can’t take it seriously she’s making jokes the whole time but it isn’t until

She cries and has tears that she finally finds her gravity and Grave it’s it’s again these double meanings is these puns he’s doing dad jokes but it’s she finds her gravity and she so she’s no longer floating and she’s able to be serious and and um so I

Mean I guess I’m just saying George McDonald really understood the power of tears as well um I think that we’re supposed to wrap up now but I I mean I think this was a Cassidy nods her head and but this was really wonderful um thank you for sharing your wisdom Paul

And sharing about the the feminine and the masculine and thank you for um listening and um putting yourselves into a passive role to receive so this was wonderful thank you very much