Mark Jennings LIVE at Hot Water Comedy Club

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Thank you very much hello Love Sam there are we we good seems fine now right let’s start that again hello Liverpool to see my name is Mark for those you don’t know me um I also thought there would be more people here I was a bit negligent with with plugging this to be honest so I thought

Let’s make it as intimate as possible there’s actually a smaller room up the stairs that this was meant to be in but the show before this is overran so I needed to do it in the bigger room which if anything just accentuates how many people haven’t they bought tickets for

But we us are here and that’s what I appreciate and we’re going to you know we’ll get through this together it’s h it’s great to be here and thanks for coming I know it was a later it’s it’s a later time than it was initially scheduled as well because until last

Week it was listed H at the new venue for hot water which currently does not have a roof so thankfully someone picked up on that otherwise we’d all be [ __ ] soaking right now but here we are I am so it’s nice to to be before we get started just

Find out about you guys like have we got have we got Scottish people here none you I know I’ve done a census already fair enough is there no Scottish people here really Co is he’s all scouters is it anyone from outside Liverpool wh you’re from the wh which is basically

Just still Liverpool effectively is it yeah it’s not here this is what I’m confused about with the wh right because as far as the wh is like was the Posh bit where the footballers and stuff lived but I’ve also heard there’s another bit that’s [ __ ] are you which bit are you from

You’re from the sh B oh no man I was hoping JY car was going to be here tonight but that can we sort this mic sorry that’s I don’t know actually sorry I know it’s actually kind of around your uh round your your glass man um what

Right we just going to keep I mean to bonus do we even need a mic it’s probably I mean this is the this is one of the only things that does make it feel somewhat like a performance right but we might need to you know go [ __ ] acoustic if

Can I try that other one is that I right tting one two that’s better it all right that’s better right if we can turn this one off maybe I guess and then we we hear that nice anyway here you go this is comedy basically this is what

It’s like H but nice to any what was your name what guy nice to meet you Paul and and is this your your partner you’re here with from Liverpool you’re from Liverpool and you of you know across the barricade Style just came together so how did you

Meet just in town so you’d made the way from the world the water is the water between it I don’t even know the dark and so what was it in like a club in pop world or some [ __ ] heie jibbies is that all that you’re the the

Whatp what is it called the what triangle B triangle the Baltic triangle all right that’s pretty cool as in Edinburgh in Scotland there’s a one called the pubic triangle cuz there three strippers sounds a bit more classy what what do you do man medium are no we can tell that

What do you do man Pastor that’s pretty cool do do you just get this in Liverpool right because this a big thing in Glasgow right let see when you’re at a set of traffic lights sometimes somebody’s like zip tied like a a sign to traffic lights and all it has is the

Word plasterer and then a phone number and and that you but just see in this world of online advertising and all that sort of stuff like I love that that’s that is so old school and who’s like actually you know see that and going oh [ __ ] I’ve been looking for a plaster as

Well hello is that plaster I need no more information thank you please come to my house I trust you completely that’s good man did you enjoy the plaster in game good stuff man nice one and so is anyone is anyone you seen me before or have you is people I assume

Probably some people just came here randomly some people might be seen my stuff online if you have give me a cheer a couple of people you listen to the podcast oh thank you my man what’s your name nice to meet you pet and you’re you’re a some laugh head that’s my

Podcast by the way H you’re listening to that do you good so how did you find out about the podcast you wrote watch oh you’re one of the creeps that watch Rosco on on Twitch are you are you the guy that put his feet on rcky feet oh my God

So twitch for the people who have relationships is a it’s a h where people stream on oh that’s cool so you found this through Oscar that’s pretty cool man nice one well basically this show um is is one I done at The Fringe this year um up Ed I’ve actually not performed it

Since August so I might need occasionally look at my notes if he can forgive me that but and basically it’s I I don’t know if you have been to Eden BR like in the last couple of years right but see because it’s obviously it’s the kind of main tourist place in Scotland

Right and in recent years Scot like edinburgh’s tourist s of you know economy has really thrived on two major factors right one is to do loads of ghost tours right and the other is just like Harry Potter [ __ ] basically right the only thing that’s more [ __ ] than

All the ghost stories that the tell tourists here is they tell them that every Cafe they’re in is where JK Roland wrote Harry Potter if you’re in a cafe and it’s more likely that JK Rowan wrote a latest transphobic tweet there than any of them books right but there is some ghost

Stories from Ed that are based on true events right see when I was younger H my mom and my auntie went to go and watch Tina Turner perform live at concert in murfield stadium in Edinburgh right so they got a place to stay overnight they

Got a be cheap hotel right and then they turned up the place was quite nice and they like oh they’re surprised they got it so cheap right so they went to the concert that night a great time watching Tina you know so singing and dancing we

Go back to the hotel room after it and they obviously just you know singing and dancing having a wh of a time right but little did they know place we’re staying in Story Goes was haunted by a ghost known as the white lady of kisten right

The next day they realized CU he went for breakfast and one of the staff come up to him in the hotel and says also last night did you see the white lady my mom was like no we seen Tina Turner we didn’t know anyone else was playing to be honest

But I was a shame he a turn passed away recently didn’t she ear this year and here’s the thing like see do you notice see have a a celebrity dies right the news will often pick another celebrity to describe his leading the tributes to the person who’s passed away so like you

Know like like you know say say like some rocker for the 70s di right you know then MC Jagger will put a tweet going a sorry for the loss rip next thing the news goes Mick Jagger leads the tributes to this [ __ ] right now is Mick Jagger doesn’t know he’s going to

Be leading the tributes when you know he posts that he doesn’t even know the guy it’s probably embarrassing for him he he’s he’s leading the tributes like [ __ ] I’m leading the tributes to him I only met him twice I thought he was about an [ __ ] to be honest like thing is they

Do that a lot in different people right are described as leading the tributes depending on the different news sources that you look at you seen this a lot when the queen died right see the queen is um like you know so many different people were described as leading the

Tributes like if you like the BBC right BBC News understandably just went with Prince Prince Charles right Prince Charles leads a tribute so Queen Elizabeth second makes sense he’s a son he’s here to the throne you know he’s going to be the new king you know similarly The Daily Express went with

Liz truss leads the tributes which did makes sense because that that brief mental moment in history she was a British prime minister was probably one of the last times she’s ever described as leading anything to be fair but if you like me get and I’m sure n is do

Given where we are but I get a lot of mans right from the Facebook page of the news site Glasgow live right and according to them the tributes to Queen Elizabeth II were made by none other than line Kelly I I like to think that’s the story

That the Royal seene actually after a few days they like link is that the best we could [ __ ] do I mean even Holmes not say [ __ ] what the [ __ ] I am it’s I’m a I I enjoy being being on the road like in here in Liverpool actually I this isn’t really

Part of the show but I just like one of the last times I was here right in Liverpool and I stayed in an Airbnb was only here for one night and I had to I was going to Manchester after so I had to stay over got year being be down by

The docks right and it was this guy an older guy was staying in his house right he he was in his 70s or something that and um so I stayed there put my stuff in I was coming here to do a gig and then H that night I met somebody at the gig

Right and then I end up going back to our place and it stayed over right and then the next day I came back and so I was only there for I hadn’t actually stayed in the place right so on my walk back in the morning I was like thinking

Like what am I going to tell this old guy you I me I kind just be like you know like [ __ ] come in Black guess who get the hole last night high five sh like he like a whole widower and stuff that so I was trying to piece together

My story and then as I was like getting to the street for I’ll just tell him like that right but um basically when I by the time I got there it was in his garden right and I was like and and before I could like even see me he like

Oh Mark I never heard you go this morning I was like oh I just went a we walk you know I mean like he kind of didn’t really know what else to say so went in and he actually made me breakfast and stuff like that right and

Then as he was Mak me breakfast started to giving me some hints and he’s a lovely guy he was an old socialist guy used to work in the docks here this kind of stuff and then he started kind of Going H you know the next guest will be

Coming in a few hours and I’ll need need to clean the bed sheets you know that’s H that’s no job for a man you know and I’m I’m W him going that’s sh man I honestly I I really I feel sorry for I don’t know why I’m

Telling a story there’s no jokes it I just point is I like being here like because I’m I’m H I still live in Glasgow I actually live in a place just outside glas called cly bank right um basically do do you know cly Bank do you really no all right that’s

Fine just sounds funny does it well if you do or do not know c bank right one of his kind of his main sort of things is famous for it was bombed by the Germans in World War II right yeah if you walk the streets of clay bank

Today be forgiv for thinking the second world war took place sometime the last fortnite right you know it’s a big Shipyard in town a lot closing 80s thater finished off the job that Hitler started effectively and that’s probably not the only way that’s true but I am

But now I I’m from Cay bank I still live there still live at home right and that’s why I still live in Cay bank because I’m still at home that’s where I grew up a lot my mates right seeing it’s probably like similar to maybe the shap

Bit of the world or something right CU it’s like you know cuz I always thought like I I just you know if I moved out I would move away somewh a bit nicer right but a lot of my mates when they moved out the parents place they just moved to

Another bit of Cay bank I never used to understand it like surely want to get as far away to the shite hole as possible Right but recently I’ve been looking at property prices and like do you know what clay bank’s got a lot going for actually there certain charm that i’

Never noticed before you know but uh I do live at home I’m getting I’m too old to be living at home as well right basically reason I live at home is cuz I [ __ ] do this for a living right that’s only way I can afford to do

Comedy and not have to go back to working in a call center and uh but I am cuz clearly this is not you know going to be a [Laughter] profitable this is I’m running out a loss this evening is what I’m saying yeah love home I’m 33 was is too

Old to be living at home right but um and it was actually brought home to me I suppose literally and that I’m told toing at home recently cuz my the the house next to my parents house got bought right by a guy who was in my year

At school him and his wife moved in along with their three-year-old kid right and the most depressing part about this to me is when I realized it see their kid I am the Kid Next Door it’s been a bad day when he [ __ ] you know comes to the door asking if I’m

Coming out to play It’s Made even more depressing I think when he moves out before me I think that’ll be the final straw but yeah love my dad man he’s difficult guy love like don’t get me wrong you see my dad he has a Fountain of Knowledge

But that Fountain is full of [ __ ] and tell you what man like he’s always been a hard guy to talk to my dad to be honest right but like’s it’s been harder in recent years because he’s been losing his hearing he’s undenial about the fact that he’s losing his hearing right he’s

Actually been prescribed hearing AG he just refuses to wear them so like whenever have a conversation with him now I need to constantly repeat myself he sees me getting aggravated he like Mark why you getting annoyed your m mumbling and St not wearing your hearings and accusing someone else of

Mumbling that’s like not wearing your glasses and accusing someone else of being bloody need set yourself up son I should probably point out at this juncture by the way that I did buy these glasses before the Jeffrey D on Netflix was not the intended look I was going for made the purchase but

Are oh my God he does Little J that two things you acknowledged so far is Cay Bang and Jeffrey D a nightmare blunt rotation if there ever was on that don’t accept my invite for T and is that what D would do you have no idea sounds like you

Do I don’t think you should accept your inv not you’re not from the world I kind of recognize you have you have you seen me before or something only on face on Facebook all right cool it’s just for the the [Laughter] DMS Iger bigger I’m bigger than expected what do you mean taller

Taller it’s the angles I’m sending those dick PS doesn’t J you’re engaged to the wrong person that’s an awkward statement to me we’re not that far into the show I kind of deal with that level of tension you’re the only concession right my dad makes to go in death right is

That whenever he watches the T now he has to have the subtitles on but the only time he turns off the subtitles is if he’s watching the football because it takes up too much of the screen and he can of see the play right but what that

Means is that whenever I watch the football my dad he will just repeat exactly what the commentator has said like right after they’ve said it so like it will zoom in and a player in the commentary be like and of course today he’s playing against his former Club my

Dad’s like do you know he used to play for them I think I heard that somewhere recently actually he does that the time in conversation as well where like he’ll repeat something that’s just been said without knowing it to the point where it’s actually quite uncanny like I’ve

Actually developed a theory right I think what’s happening is my dad just hears something being said so faintly that it goes into his brain and he mistakes it for his own thoughts just like I’ll just say that and been talk about for the last 5 minutes he like how I know you’re

Mumbling yeah can’t complain too much you know I’ve had good parents grown up and stuff like that you know what I mean like like my mom be the sort of person that like you know like was offer to do anything for but any kind of moan having

To do it as well do I mean like times I go eye on a shirt or something put the IR board up put the eye on my mom Mark do you want me to do that for you I’m like no it’s F do like Mark it’s no

Bother just give me here would say about time actually be like our mother’s work is never done which it’s unfair you can’t just offer to do a thing for someone and then moan when that offer is accepted like you would volunteer to get blood then the to

Sck the needle in your arm you’re just like well I suppose it’s always up to me to look afterbody else so just take take take me look but I you up with like good parents like that’s the worst thing you can complain about is like it’s just we

Things like that like I think the worst thing that happens to right when you’ve got generally good parents right is that you’ll you’ll get you’ll ask for a present for your birthday or a Christmas right and then they’ll just get it slightly wrong right so I remember the

First time that this this happened to me I can remember right and basically what happened was and i’ asked to get my first ever football top right and I wanted my name on it so my mom when bought me this top gets my name printed

On the front of the top like where the sponsor would normally go they just had Mark in big bold letters right just look like a [ __ ] fake get relentlessly bullied about I’ll just tell you it doesn’t really M usually but it was it was a Celtic top right and this was the mid90s

Right okay I still get [ __ ] one surprise surpris it know Clay Bankers the Reon I say that is because at that time in the mid90s right C were actually going feel a lot of financial difficulties right now but never get that bad that it have been plausible

That a six-year-old boy had managed to sponsor the [ __ ] team like as far as I know C Smith wasn’t he just another we guy for Glasgow a cash there any nich reference sponsor Celtic in the 90s but anyway um but to this dat because I I I remember just like getting

Bullied so much and my parents didn’t remember it we had a picture of it which was my only proof but see I brought it up to them like they didn’t they couldn’t remember what even happened because it perplexed me right because like there was so many points to me

Feels like where that could have been prevented right first of all my dad obviously clearly knew better right so my mom’s came home and he she showed him the top and he’s been ah [ __ ] it he’s sick okay like you know he’s not going to remember this 25 years later and

Bring up a room full of strangers cuz of the trauma you know but I know it’s longer than 25 years but you know whatever anyway but also like but even when my mom went shop like cuz was this place in cly Bank shoing Center that used to do the printing of the shirs

Right The Unofficial printing you would get and she’s obviously the and I can only imagine interactions with something she’s oh my son he’s W his his name on the top it’s Mark Mark C so he’s like no boiler so he gets the letters mapped out and he goes to turn around

The top my mom’s like what are you doing he’s I’m just putting a name in the back he like no I’m sure he said he wants it on the front he’s like no I’m sure no one has ever said that the names they go in the back of

The top end he’s like I told you I want my son’s name put on the front of that top he like do I CH your husband or something she’s like you know what just give me a mother’s work has never done anyway um so I was H tidy in my room

Recently right you got on your keep when you home basically and I was in my room I was going through some like drawers right I found this list right I’m I’m a big sort of [ __ ] you know self-help [ __ ] basically right and like I’m a big believer in like visualization and you

Know the power of affirmations and stuff like like for example I’ve got a weird thing right I always feel like I can get parking spots anywhere right like it’s all but believe because see if you visualize that parking spot right you no matter where you’re going you visualize

It and believe 100% there’s the two things you need to do right you visualize the parking Sport’s going to be there two things you need is 100% belief right the second thing is you need to be willing to take a disabled B and you always got a spot right now but

No I’m I’m a big self-help right so I used to always like set these goals and stuff right I found in my draw I found this list of goals that I made right from 2016 right and I was depressing right because six goals on this list for

2016 that I right and basically only one of them I had actually achieved right and the first one it was to pay off a credit card and the only reason I’d achieved that is because i’ done a 0% balance transfer to another with all that money still

Sets plus even more right but let get through the rest right so second one that I wanted to do right the goal for 2016 was to write every day right now it’s always been trying to get in CU like as like CU I do I do call the F

Time mainly as I say cuz I [ __ ] live at home still and so it means that I’m I’m off Jing the day and I’ll do gigs at night so when I’m off during the day what I try and do is I’ll go to Every coffee shop try and do some writing or

Something that right but I actually like it I prefer it when I’m on the road like see I’m here I’ve been living just in the city center just at Liverpool one right I like it when I’m in a city and I’m I’m doing that I go to a coffee shop

See see you’re out you’re off during the day in like a city right like you know you’re surrounded by all different types of people you know like know so I’m I got a coffee shop here you know in Liverpool today right and you know there’s all these different people

There’s there’s people that are like writers and people that are launching businesses and students and stuff like so I’m sitting in you know a cafe here I feel like an artist right see I’m just off during day in C Bank I just feel unemployed it’s just me and a bunch of

Pensioners and folk that aching the benefit system basically which to be fair is also me right but that’s I’ve never really got been harder to get habit with that the second the third goal in this list of six right was to was to move out as we’ve covered

I have not achieved that still and mainly like The Catch 22 that I’m in right is because obviously like that was one of the sacrifices I had to make to try and do comedy right as a job is that I had to stay at home a bit longer the

Last couple of years since I’ve started putting out stuff online and all that started to sell some tickets not obviously here but but to the point it’s been going all right enough and that I could maybe start to get by and the main thing actually that’s that’s probably the most

Likely way that could get enough money to get by is the podcast right cuz the last year year and a half or something me my been doing this podcast and we built it up enough um that we we got patreon and stuff that’s probably the most likely way if we can keep that

Growing that we’ll ever get I’ll ever get to a point where I can get enough a stable wage that could afford to move out the only problem is we record that podcast and a shed in my back Garden right so basically if I move out I don’t

Have a podcast if I don’t have a podcast I can’t move out it’s a cat 22 right I’m kind of [ __ ] right the the fourth goal on this right is so embarrassing I don’t even know why tell he’s like that it do right but the fourth goal my list in 2016 was

To get a girlfriend now that is sad that is sad is it you know you did you know that’s it he’s got bu don’t do it you got budy fiance you know almost oh [ __ ] I’m sorry oh [ __ ] you said fiance a minute ago did you know said

Engaged H half hang on you’ve got a half may not get that point oh doing our own wding without getting so he’s basically planning the whole wedding right material is this been recorded by the way is this would make a good clip you know no so right sorry right okay we

Just go with us right uh right so you first of all you’ve got a ring on and you’re saying that you’re H you’re engaged but you’re so you’re basically doing don’t tell the bride but it’s not been televised anything Invasion so what does that mean he’s

Going to spend all the money in Vegas on so you’re going to spend all the money in Vegas wedding you’re planning the wedding she’s going to turn up in her dress right so you don’t know what the wedding’s going to be we’re going to get

Married in Spain cuz you met on an e je life on the way to yor n years ago right so sounds like you know quite a lot about this actually I think tell the bride some stuff she knows get she knows get married inor right you know you’re get

Married in new yor no one any don’t the any everyone we know the DAT you’re invited obviously everyone’s invited we’re all invited well we’ve actually got a surprise for you the wedding’s not going to be in newor it’s actually going to be an intimate Affair in a comedy club in

Liverpool this evening right now you’d rather get m in Cay Bank no you would no you would not she’s speak for expedience Ry n he is not there first of all he’s a fictional character and he’s actually from G believe that’s Madness no the only person there is Marty p h oh he

Is that who you thought you were com wow that’s cool that’s pressure on you my man you’re all right work you’re put a lot of confidence in him because usually like obviously you know a lot of times it’s like the women will just why take all everything to do with the wedding and

The guy won’t bother I know he will he will succeed because he knows he’s got if you know you’ve got to so you all succeed that’s 100% believe visualiz it’s like getting the parking spots before so it’s got experience you’ve been mared before right K me [Laughter]

Once you didn’t do that’s a last day did [Laughter] you you the one got oh my God all right good day all good things all good things that’s it come to those who wait thank you I’m almost doing nothing right now actually if anything you’re really do you’re making the jokes

Right wow that’s pretty cool good for you so when’s the wedding no way that’s my B you invited thank you I’ve got PL you I I’ll probably be H I’ll probably be I’ll I’ll probably The Fringe actually doing a new show uh but I well

I can always you know if you want to get me a flight to New York after try get there for the after I’ll go to Vegas when’s this tag oh you can we watched an episode once don’t the the the Stag spent the whole budget in Vegas like I will do that we

Know and did you apply tell the bra just I wanted to and I want to be on one born every minute when we were having our baby our baby in wase on in the month when they were filming oh that’s annoying and now we’ve only got um oh what’s that dat One Trilogy anyway so I decided I didn’t want a girlfriend thought you know what [ __ ] that sounds sounds like too much p in so so my fifth goal no see when you do live at home like your options do get Limited in terms of a partner basically I realized

That like my options in terms of who I’m like looking for somebody is just limited to someone who who doesn’t live with their parents right so like i’ be on tnd chat to somebody up tonight I’m just having dinner with my family and I’m like right is that an every night

Thing or just a once a week catchup type of deal you know but I did actually last girl that I’ve seen and she did have her own place um but she had an upstairs neighbor who’s always given her a lot of Hassle and I learned this the first time

Went back to her place but we’re in bed you know start enjoying each other’s company as right after a couple minutes we here upstairs and just this sh I didn’t really know what to do I’m still trying to impress this girl and I don’t want the moment to be ruined I’m

Also kind of want to be able to get back to things so I just thought I’m trying just say something to kind of ease attention bit so I just shouted up and I was like the harder you bang the harder I’ll bang then before she could respond to

Get that wor was like bang harder that always gets a mix response super joke but anyway um but but the fifth goal on the list actually right was to was to meditate right I don’t know if you have ever got meditation I’ve always kind of tried for

A couple of days and then I’ve never um managed to figure it out and then I was actually I was in I was in Australia ear this year right and then I decided I got an ad sponsored ad for this thing called Transcendental Meditation if you’re heard of that right but basically

Difference between normal meditation trans Dental meditation is about 500 quid and no I like they charge for it right and the reason they charge for it is cuz they give you a mantra and but they put the Mantra behind the pay wall obviously right so it’s like you know

But they tell you that all the market things like oh this is like a better version it’s like [ __ ] meditation premium kind of thing it’s like this is better the one the breathing all sh Mantra is like the thing right so I was curious and I thought maybe if I get the

Mantra it will make me stick to it more right and I so decided to sign up for it which is so [ __ ] stupid by the way right CU like I’ve always beg grudged right paying a personal trainer cuz I like I I could just go to the gym I’m

Own I don’t need someone else to be paid to to do something I can do own suddenly I paid 500 C for somebody to teach me how to [ __ ] breathe I’m like same right but I went along as soon as I signed up to I got a bit buyers remorse

Right because what they do is they they send you this email and they go right when you come to the first session you need to bring an app you need to bring two apples or two they say it’s like in a fruit and you need to bring flowers

And you need to bring a white handkerchief right um and you what the [ __ ] is this right so I was pretty suddenly I’m St I just signed up a [ __ ] cult or something like Scientology or whatever so I looked up online and people were saying like

That had asked this question or why why are they asking us to bring us stuff and people were the basically the answer was like everybody was kind of saying look it’s just this weird thing they do this weird ritual at the start if you take

That with a pinch your Sal and ignore it they’ll give you the Mantra and they don’t like beat you over the head right fair enough so went along and sure enough to do all this stuff so all the stuff that you bring they put it on a we

Where they’ve got like this we Guru guy on it and stuff like that right and they do this weird prayer and all that [ __ ] honestly see if I had not looked this up it would have been the most freaky experience of my entire life right CU

They don’t even warn you they just start doing it and speaking in [ __ ] tongues I’m just sitting there going what the [ __ ] going on me they s you down and they give you this mant right and here’s the thing that they tell you right so

Give you the Mantra and they say you do that you focus on that just keep saying that in your head for 20 minutes close your eyes and meditate but the te they tell you right is to go listen can tell anyone else your Mantra right or it won’t work that’s what I

Tell you think the reality is if I tell anyone else the Mantra they won’t work because that’s what the whole [ __ ] business model is based on right just keeping this [ __ ] secret from me but I’ll tell you I don’t give a fun the Mantra it was like it was like kind of

Weird noise it just like shum or something that right and then I know this girl right that went to school called Shen right and that’s very close to her name so I started thinking about sh I don’t know sh’s up to you still follow me on Instagram

Mess I lost my train [ __ ] bul I’m trying to get present to [ __ ] forget people at sh to be honest something get my mind so any work after see because you pay mainly for the Mantra right I think the TM transend meditation they give you a few days of a group session

After it I think mainly they make it feel like it’s worth the well right so you sit in this group with a bunch of other D CS who were stupid enough to pay for it right and and basically they just kind of take through a group session and

Then he showed us this video of the guy who’s like the the spiritual leader of transcendental meditations mahishi his name is he’s actually the guy that Indian guy that when the Beatles went to India in the 70s he was the guy that taught them meditation and stuff like

That it turns out he a b [ __ ] nons by the way right bit a beast right because Dian Kon was part try to feel her up John lenon wrote a song Dear Prudence is about him apparently it’s all about how he’s [ __ ] they don’t tell you this in the

Class by the way this I up later I don’t never really get honestly the the the last goal on this list was the one that I was the most depressed I had achieved right because it was a it was a a weight goal right now when I found this list it was

About this time last year right SE SE September last year actually and I found this list at this time I was um the heaviest i’ ever been right two on heavier L at the moment right and I wasn’t feeling good myself and I looked

At this this goal that I had to get to a certain weight and I realized right that basically the the weight that I must have been when I wrote the the goal was now an unrealistic end Target for me like you know a couple years later it’s

Bad that like you know when you’re [ __ ] before pictures now an after one that you would [ __ ] kill for mean like thought what you was your Rock Bottom has now become your Everest J like remember when I was writing this list I can’t believe I let myself go so

Much nor if only there’s someone that I could recate peak of physical fitness I’ve always been a I’ve just I think I’ve always had an unhealthy relationship with food I’m a bit all or nothing right I think the thing is like sometimes I can be quite helpful but I

Need to really be sticking to it and if I fall off I can fall off hard for a long time as well like because see see when I’m eating badly right I always it goes on for ages because I always tell myself right oh you know I need to start

Eat healthy tomorrow right so tonight what I’ll do is I’ll just eat whatever I like but that’s will be my last as always tell myself it’s always GNA be last you know I’ve had more last meals than someone on death row who execution is get delayed at the last minute you I

Mean but it’s B because you always say this will be my last it’s not last CU you know what happens is you have the last meal and then you have like you just eat like you know you end up picking three different things that you want because you’re like I’m not going

To be able to have any of them then you got a big dessert and then you feel [ __ ] afterwards don’t get good sleep that night and you you know you sleep in for work the next day in the [ __ ] you know gym session you might have in the

Morning you get through the next day all groggy and [ __ ] [ __ ] and hating yourself so then you get to the end of the day so to treat yourself you decide to have another last meal and before you know it’s been a cycle that’s continued on and on and

Then you know [ __ ] but I was just I was not feeling good about myself and where I was right with that and um it was weird right CU I I remember thinking because is see when you don’t feel like comfortable particular when it’s like a weit thing like you don’t want to really

Go to any social events you feel a bit embarrassed right you don’t want people to see that I’ve let myself go I remember think to myself I just wished I could have a few months but I didn’t need to go anywhere and I didn’t need to

See anyone and I remember the reason I put on so much weight is cuz those months that we weren’t allowed to go anywhere and we couldn’t see anyone I was like that lockdown is how I got in this position in the first place but the

Lost point I think for me was a booked there was a family holiday that I went on right and my dad asked me want to go like pain for it I definitely And so in this all and had six months between the holiday getting booked and going away and that’s plenty of time I wanted to two St that’s plenty of time was that way right so you know it’s three months in I put on a stone like Fu

To lose free Stone in three months I’m like looking up on YouTube and I was like how do he do this you know [ __ ] researching MMA fighters and Sh try to figure out how to drop the weight and then I got to the the week of the

Holiday I’d lost no way right I found myself the most depressing pH you tell yourself right is I just went maybe I’ll just TR lose weight on the holiday that is [ __ ] depr that is the biggest you know self you know [ __ ] lie you can tell you lose weight on the

Holiday it’s like I’m in an all inclusive but I’ll just have the fruit salad every day that’ll be the 100 lens of the pool that would like tell yourself I’ll lose weight on the holidays like those couples are say may we stop arguing after the baby arrives [Laughter]

And baby who’s next month do you really month what the hell yeah he got he got divorce having a baby fix it and she’s nearly n what the hell all right sorry not with me sorry I didn’t realize that that joke would be so triggering for you

No anyway I’m sure we f after the [Laughter] wedding six months six months I know not with me but with you the one no not not with you I don’t think it’ll last that long not Vegas goes well anyway h no anyway wait okay back on

Track anyway so when I was on this a be quiet bit AG too quiet I was bored on this family a so obviously I’m on [ __ ] Tinder and stuff I try to meet somebody for a Dr night but it was depressed like we on this we place was

So seed the the closest matches could find on the date apps were just people on different Islands you know what I mean I’m I’m [ __ ] trying to get a boat to like shag someone like so I end up just deleting the apps right because I just I realized how bad a habit they’

Become you know I was like I’m still like Sting and there was clearly no chance me meeting anyone that was was near nearby and um so delet them and I thought I’d be made delete the any because I thought I just kind of had to

Focus on myself try and sort my [ __ ] out because you know I was at that point as I say I wasn’t feeling good about my weight and stuff like and I basically I just realized like I don’t why go on any dates kind of for the same reason I

Didn’t want to you know like buy a new pair of jeans because like thought if I gave it a couple of months and lost some weight I could maybe get ones I’d like a lot better and that one makes me sound like a dick right but H but I was I was

That’s how I was feeling right I was actually had this weird thing as well I don’t know if it caus us can a be bit more weight but see the time I this real pain in my side right it was really you know I was really stressed out about and

Um first I thought it’s probably just a muscular thing that’s it felt like but it wasn’t going away so I was getting more and more concerned and I decided to going the doctor right and it’s obviously been difficult getting a GP appointment the last coule years I’m B

Hyp contri the best of times right and like you know there’s this thing they say like they go like there’s a medical I don’t know how medical this term is it was actually my physio that told me this but he’s just got like a hnc from somewhere I don’t even know if there

Qualification in England but but basically he said oh when you hear hoes you think horses not zebras I feel every time I go to the doctor it’s horses I’m but check for zebras you know I mean you’re always saying awesome so I thought I found the doctors right and uh

Basically what time cu the is like actually my problem right in the last years hasn’t been so much that I’ve not been able to get a doctor’s point I’ve always managed to get one eventually but my problem is I’ve been to the doctor so many times in recent years convinced

That I was dying and then be proved wrong I don’t think you’ll ever take any say seriously ever again like I getting decapitated in the or in your head you me it’s like but the GP right and obviously it’s been difficult you know first the Huddle

You need to get through is the GP deceptionist as we all know it’s been difficult to talk to them I actually found a we well I think I guess the reason it’s been hard is because they know ask that question don’t they it’s bit intrusive they go what’s your

Appointment for and you don’t want to tell them because you think they’re just going to tell the other we women at the desk after you hang up you get hemorrhoids or whatever and uh basically right so but I actually felt sorry for the woman in this occasion up she’s like

What’s your appointment for and before I could even answer she clearly had so much abuse that she buts in straight away and goes you can just tell us one word it’s just for the doct was if she was going please I can’t take the abuse anymore just leave me alone [ __ ] H so

I got the appointment went in here’s my be GPS right is that it feels like they come to their conclusions so unscientifically right like well actually first of all right is this is why is because it’s unscientific you need to think about things like this

Right I never know how to dress for the doctors like do you dress up or dress down you know what I mean because if you dress up and you look too nice they might just think you’re fine and send you on your way but if you look too disheveled they might mistake your

Physical symptoms for just mental health issues and just anti you know anti- depress Dr for the diagnosis you want I it’s going to do it just feels like they do come to the conclusion so unscientifically I went I told him I was worried pain inide and he went ah I’m not

Concerned I was like no I’m concerned you’re me to tell me why I shouldn’t be concerned he’s I know someone had a similar thing and it turned out to be nothing I like that’s a charm and anecdote right it’s not the scientific method that I was looking for

Coming to a professional you mean that’s kind of like [ __ ] medical advice you get in the pub what’s your m going to do I mean and then he says you opinions I don’t want an opinion I pr some facts to be honest like you know tests results

That kind of thing use that [ __ ] Fisher Place St scope you’ve got there I don’t even know how Fisher play got that NHS contract to be honest assume one of the CEOs must be mates with M hanock orever but anyway so it’s like so it just um you

Kind of said that right in it like I I went away and I came I came back to him later and I say look I says look I know that you’re not concerned right but see if you were like sorry CU what he done he did take some Bloods and stuff like

That right and nothing came back I spoke to say I know you’re not concerned but if you were like what what would just happen next if if you fought it maybe something and I would probably send you for some tests and like kind of scan or

Whatever can I just do that he says well we can there’s a long waiting list how long’s a waiting list says well we can’t actually tell you any CH waiting times in case it gets into the Press which is you know I’m just thinking like well

Just by you tell me that I it’s not good you know I mean it’s like the daily mails never in the H piece NHS in 4 day weight shocker you I mean it’s like you know that you know if somebody wants to conceal the numbers for me you know that

It’s not numbers you got here you I mean it’s like I know celebrities never tell people at the Press how many people they’ sh because it’s far too high or you know people under six foot don’t put the height in their descriptions because it’s too low H sorry to punch down on

The under six foot Community there but that is the only way that I can reach you to be fair but I am so anyway so I just said he said at that point he says we can’t tell the waiting times could be long but if you’re really worried we

Could I could give you a referral to go private right now I didn’t have the money really to go private you know and and obviously you know got a lot of moral you know Hang-Ups with the private healthcare you know because we all you know want the NHS to thrive and do well

But you know like uh you know it was obviously under strain during Co and actually I think a lot of people decided to go private or during Co because you didn’t want to be a strain on the system right also like I didn’t have the money

For it but you know when you think you’re going to [ __ ] die I’m like I don’t need these savings if I’m going to [ __ ] over can’t take it with him so I decided to um get that private consultation I go to this private doctor

Right and um he I walk in he’s like a an English a southern English guy right and he’s got the specs tucked in shot you know he’s a pure square right he’s Captain Tom stamps on his envelopes he’s a toor is what I’m trying to tell you right

And he’s not telling me he’s not concerned right he’s you does test same for cities and all the rest of it he brings me back in next week and he gives him my results in the most X Factor way that I’ve ever seen sits me down he goes

Okay Mark so um your blood results came back fine and your still sample came back fine and your CT scan and then you left the longest pause that I’ve ever seen anyone do in real life like it if he was waiting for a camera to zoom in

In my face and dramatic music to rise to Crescendo that’s how long the PA was I remember thinking the entire sentence I can’t even believe how long he is taking to say another word right now I thought that whole s the time it took him to say something else because your CT scan

Shows some signs of information that your other results would suggest is nothing to worry about but we would like to do some f investigations I said what’s that mean he says well at this point we’d recommend colonoscopy right now that’s quite you know invasive procedure it’s big deal you know and

Like um you know i’ i’ not been private as well so I don’t know the eate right say like listen mate I’m sorry if this is a bit inappropriate but look um how much is that going to cost L and um you know cuz you know I’ve never paid for

This before which is not the first time I’ve said that and when he told me I was like do you tell me that need take up the ass both physically and financially also not the first time I’ve said that and there a lot right but but you know

Again I thought do so I stuck the rest of the money on that 0% credit card and and off Wi so get the and before you get a call right give be lack it right you need to drain out your system now I’ve never really been a big drugs guy right

You know sorry if that makes me not available for the Vegas trip but makes not a real it’s not a real G you know I mean you’re right I mean you know but no it’s just it’s just it’s just I’ve never it’s never been my never

Been my bag right but like so thing is you take these relatives it’s like you pour this you pour it into your drink and you drink it so that was pretty much the closest I’ve ever came like taking something and waiting for it to kick in

Like 10 15 minutes go by and start think I’m not feeling it that doctor’s game dodgy batch you been cutting that with [ __ ] wash nut powder or something see I still know about it stre WF of Wall Street no I just know a couple of w of Wall Street W stre and go

Vegas and they’re actually my support acts mate but anyway so so take it then obviously when it does kick in you [ __ ] know all about it to be fair I have never felt finner by the way I’d recommend it as a anyway so next day go

For the K right I don’t really remember that much about it because what they do is I wasn’t asleep for it but they give you a sedative right which means that like and you kind like your time perception is altered right so the whole the procedure lasts about an hour right

It felt like the thing finished after about two minutes which to be fair it’s been a common experience whenever had something put on my ass before but anyway so I came came back and the guy comes in and he says look we’ve not found anything we’ve done some biopsies

We’ll get you back next week for the final results go back in for the final results he’s not getting me the X Factor sh this time straight to the point says look Mark you nothing to worry about nothing come back you’re all fine right and I was like cool and then but the

Thing is because what they’re doing with the co putting a camera up inside you right so they’ve got all the pictures they’ve taken on the camera and they got a we print out of it and he said and when he hands it to me he goes

Oh we can email you this as well if you want I was like what for exactly you put them in [ __ ] Instagram like you know put a picture of your ass on Instagram you know maybe an overshare putting you know a picture of the inside your ass that’s got be terms and conditions

Violation embarassed but I think to be honest right reason that I was I was so worried about that kind of stuff right because not long before and my mom died basically right she’d been told it was horses turned it was EAS right cancer and got quite kind

Of late and then she’ actually get a relatively positive prognosis but then took a bad turn treatment over a couple of days got a bit worse I to get rush to the hospital by the time she got there and realized that she wasn’t going to it

Right and it’s look it’s just been over two years since that happened now and you know I know it’s it’s a weird thing to talk about a comedy show all people tend don’t like to hear about these sort of things but just know that um if you

Don’t laugh you will make me feel worse so it is fine to laugh at any point even the inappropriate but you just had no no that’s right M well but yeah but that was it was [ __ ] up man right because H basically she um as say she

She had to get rush to hospital like 3 in the morning by like you know she get rush to hospit midnight we’re up for hours on end and um it was a weird weird night and um after a while they came in and they said look they just told us

Right she’s not going to make it now when that happens right um first thing they say is they go does she need the last rights now we’re not really a religious family anymore right except for my grand who’s my mom’s mom right who instantly before anyone could

Respond like oh yeah she needs a PRI right we all for [ __ ] sake that’s already been like the longest most horrible night your life so wait an extra hour and a half for a [ __ ] you know hoodo man he show up with his [ __ ] magic spells this is 3 in the

Morning like a Wednesday right it’d be hard enough to get a drug dealer I assume to you know me never mind the priest right we’re all waiting by the bedside and eventually this week priest guy comes in right and Mar to surprise my grand he’s like a we kind of Indian

Looking guy right so suddenly you just see my Grand’s face change it’s her religious fail clashes directly with her oldfashioned racism you see her face drop like what parish is he from no wonder it took so bloody long to get here that’s you get you [ __ ] D

Racist for for this right so so he comes in right and God bless this guy right because he’s you know he’s trying his best but yes English isn’t his first language he’s clearly not been first nam in the team [ __ ] this guy right he’s been clearly woking up in the middle of

The night drawing the Short Straw to do I suppose the literal graveyard shift right so he’s come in and he’s doing the last rights he’s stumbling through it it’s a terrible you know terrible performance right like he’s kind of like just stumbling over his his words and

Stuff with that I’ve seen a lot of you know bad performances in my time doing comedy this is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen in my life you know I mean like you know he’s not projecting at all my dad’s like he’s mumbling I’m like no he is mumbling this time

Actually one time he’s right and I feel back cu the last R I guess is might be there you know sort of like give Comfort to your family right the gving right but I F by the end I was trying to comfort him as that was

Amazing me that was one of the best I don’t know how you got up there and do that by the way um after that that was um that was it and we just played a we song at the end of the like and just the because they

Basically just let us know and once turn off the machines that was it so we just said goodbyes and we play that song been appropriate and that was it as mad man and listen it’s a weird I don’t there’s a lot of comedy shows now that do this

Sort of hang with talk and all that sort of stuff and a lot of times right whatever right kind of wallow in the pity and the grief and manipulate the audience’s emotions and I’m not really interested in doing kind of stuff right because a name for it’s got a dead dad

Show or a dead parent show and stuff like that right and look I didn’t really want to do that but it’s Uno you know I didn’t want my [ __ ] mom to die either it happened in my job is to talk about what happened in my life but to give you

An idea how common these things are earlier this year there’s an American commedian called Mark Marin right and he released this special earlier this year and he was talking about the sudden death his wife right which means that I’m not even the only Mark who spells

His name with a c who’s currently a standup comedy show talking with death I’ve not even seen that show but KN my he’s probably got a five minute routine about how she bought my football top his name in the [ __ ] but my mom was um I was a really

Strong person you know like she was um so she would always say stuff like oh it’s not what happens to life it’s how you deal with it it’s important right so I kind of try to keep that in mind and try and keep positive I didn’t W on the

My mom never liked doing that right my mom’s a really positive person to point like even she doesn’t even like listening to depressing music do you know what I mean like my dad’s like a big fan of kind of like YouTu and all stuff kind of s music on around the

House and if my mom heard it she like get that [ __ ] off you know what I mean like my dad to be fair would say the same thing har when she’s listening to Tina for different reasons right you know some the best Ranger song but but basically um yeah suppos always say that

Right and she so I was trying to think how she would deal with and trying that way right and like I had something to go on cuz when my mom was 21 right my M was 21 she came I was actually the day before came home and work right and her

Dad Street he died heart attack had been like a a heavy smoker and a manual laborer and I because I’ve had that story in my family I’ve always had a real aversion to smoking or manual labor and but my grand still say I never get through that it wasn’t for your mom

She’s so strong for this your grandpa than I she helped me through the whole thing and my mom was like that whole life with everybody obviously grown up as kids obviously helped him my dad a lot and stuff like that even just like friends and family we always kind of

Look to her for support um and kind of I guess late 30s early 40s she she retrained and became you I found her past in life she end up doing a ROM therapy right she kind of done massages and stuff like that which I would make a

Lot of cheap jokes as a younger comedian but uh but basically she the reality of it was she ended up just doing a lot of local work in the community what called work for the care center I think called St Stones which is for people coming out drug rehabilitation

You give them therapies and stuff and Not only would they get a lot out of the the massage they always tend to just get a lot of the we kind of private consultations that my mom would get she was kind unofficial counselor for them as well I remember when she worked that

Stepping Stones thing there was a a woman there was a client of her she told me about shouldn’t have told me this because it’s breach and confidential but what the [ __ ] are they going to do now H but basically she she was the mom of

Like a mom a guy who was mared at school so it’s like his mom was going to my mom for counseling I was like feel so lucky I had such a good mom that she’d be a mom tell her moms you know what I mean

Like and that was kind of who she was to everybody um to the point where she ended up you of building up her business St she got be she built like a kind of Hut in the back Garden where she take clients from masses and stuff and

Everybody a lot older women that kind of go Mainland looking a bit world we and those come out spring the St got happy and you know it’s mainly I think a lot because the advice my mom give them like and to be honest it was she was she was

A really helpful person to be honest to the point was annoying right because like our house phone was more a [ __ ] Samaritan help line half the time like I just answered the phone some woman just wailing like oh M it’s for you hang on two seconds she’s just finishing ironing

My shot she’ll be with you a second that’s who my mom was right and I think because she had her own business and and done something as a job she was passionate about and she could relate to what I do and comedy and stuff I think

Me and my mom were similar a lot more ways and it was definitely C my mom she also provided most of the love and parental support I was F growing up you know I had good parents and and I did but particularly since my mom’s P I’ve

Realized just how much the heavy lifting she was doing you know my my dad’s a great guy and he’s worked hard for us his whole life but we’ve kind of realized he’s always just he’s just kind of been there you know what I mean like

Which is Enough by the way for a dad that’s more than most dads do particularly in a place like Cay bangr but he was just kind of there I don’t know how much he heard but he was there right but you know it’s it’s hard to not

Sort of you kind of it is hard when you lose the parent you’re closest to right and is hard occasionally not to have your mind go to places and think about what things have been different it’s not like I would I would never like say that

You know if I could have changed that I would changed it and had it be him instead or something i’ never say that right but I do sometimes now wish that he would die as well you know I’ve lost most of the love and parental support I might as well get

The [ __ ] house do you know what I mean like I mean that’s because I mean listen you know one parent dying is a tragedy if two parents die in the whole oners that is [ __ ] life changing right how sister’s been s for AG we need to get that therapy I’m like I’m not

Concerned you going to walk down the bridge that that we find just take your time you know do we need to do I don’t think that all the thing H you know was it’s obviously like we were worried about my D cuz it’s one thing lose a parent and it’s something I guess

You kind of accept that’s going to happen in life it’s a harder thing I think to lose a a partner right particularly if they cheat on you but you also if they if they just die right H so we’re worried about my dad I honestly I was really proud of my dad to

Be handled it he was really strong well he he reacted to it well straight away started just getting all the the things in order that you need to do after someone passes sorting out the funeral and stuff like that and you know he kept himself right I I thought I think I knew

He was going to be already quite early on right my dad done something that was so him I just thought no I think he’s going to be okay right cuz basically when you arrange the funeral you need order the death certificate now I had my phone my dad in the phone order the

Death certificate and they said to them went no no a second class stamp will be fine I was like you [ __ ] kid me on I was like a second class St I was like if Mom was not dead she’d be coming back to [ __ ] kill you Jesus like cuz I’m just

Like you know for the sake of even what like is it 12 P or something probably a difference like you’re going to delay the funeral potentially you like no second class time comes just as quickly I like that’s not really the point the point is more if not now when would you

Ever order a first class St like what circumstances when he AR he goes do you know what no I will pay the extra 12p actually that it’s worth it on this occasion you know class there was um there was 10 days right between my I think in England it

Takes long longer for a funeral like in Scotland 10 days is quite a long time but to wait between someone passing the funeral it was mainly because second class stamps don’t come as quickly and but the but basically that between someone assum something really close to

You B in between the passing and the funeral is weird it’s like a weird kind of limbo it’s kind of like the bit in between Christmas New Year you know what I mean like you don’t know what day is you’re not going to work you get visits

For relatives you can’t be [ __ ] deing with you know no one judges you if drink at 900 in the morning so we’re going to say [ __ ] but I am anyway so we got to I’m wondering oh have we done over an hour [ __ ] sake oh God the don’t tell the

Bright time did take up quite a short time it’s F I am oh basically like canra this up because um we got so we had to just get through the funeral right the weird thing with the priest Club basically was a it just being a bit addicted on the phone and stuff like

That so it it was a weird kind of interaction right and and it it’s CU like we read in the Catholic church right and like because I was just where my Mom and Dad get married and stuff for that at the funeral like um it was still

Co times right so it was like at that point we’re limited to 50 people at the funeral and you still were wearing masks and stuff like that there also that point as well like if you’ve ever been in a Catholic Church you’ll know that

When you go in you dip your hand in holy water right and you might bless yourself right at this point this has been exposed by CO as a [ __ ] massive super sper style so GED off the holy water and they just had hand sanitizer there which

A lot of people are still pressing and then doing the same was M my dad started a lot of stuff out forun know so I’d said to him listen I I can do the eulogy because it’s you know it’s an important thing you know to try

And like because I just feel like I you know public speaking and stuff like that I can take responsibility for that and it’s you know it’s it’s important thing you because it’s you know you’re h on someone memory and it’s it’s a weird thing cuz you’ve got to go up and going

To try and make sense when someone dies it’s suddenly or they die young make sense you need to try and explain their life and you know try H someone’s memories an interesting thing anyway even see before see after myom passed me and my sister debated about whether they

Put in on out online right because you’re B like you don’t want to be looking as if you’re looking for sympathy and stuff but this is how people you know find out about these things UL these days and we eventually just decided that we better put something else out on Instagram before L

Kell wind and was leading the tri so we put a post right and actually do you know as weird as it is it was really nice and it was really comforting all the messages I was getting loads of people reached out and sent us nice

Messages and I used to be bad for that like see if I knew somebody who lost a lost I loved one I would sometimes not message because I I was worried about saying the wrong thing but I remember my M’s dad died and I was like T now going

Oh sorry to he about your dad dying I’m like oh [ __ ] I shouldn’t say that CU that’s going to remind him his dad’s died and he’s going to cry or whatever honestly see if you going through it I say it doesn’t really matter what you even said because they won’t even really

Remember what you you said but they will remember the message and they’ll also remember the people that should have message who [ __ ] didn’t WR you don’t want to be on that list because they will have you in a [ __ ] mental roex for the rest of the life and wish you

All the ill will in the world so that’s always a bit depressing that but but it’s just true though basically just mess someone because it means a lot to them um there’s one message in particular that I would get mostly from people that um was typical right A lot

Of people would just get in touching say this’ always kind of go listen if there’s anything I can do for you just let me know there’s anything I can do for you just let me a lot of those messages were from your I’ve been trying shag for years

Right well there’s a few things actually that might help the grieving process just one question do you still love your parents H actually it doesn’t matter it’s just me and my dad now he can’t hear anything so just come over you that’s so you is

Anyway so I just um so I done the E right and and basically what I ended up doing right is I just effectively you know try to H my mom’s me memory as best I can same way that I’ve ended up just doing with a show right by just talking

A bit about who my mom was and what she meant to the people that were closest to her what was important to her and I suppose trying to make sense out of of what happened right and I think the only thing I could really say in terms of

What I took away from it or the SCE I tried to take was that my mom passed away I just seen like the outpour in like you know few people about that she’ affected in her life right and it just made me realize that when we’re no

Longer here like you know all behind is that impact we’ve had on other people right my mom left such a positive impact just you know just in a small way we our friends and family and people in the community right our clients and stuff like that but it just made me realize if

We’re here threaten it’s just that you know if we can try and be as positive an impact on the people that we interact with we’re here and then that’s what it matters and like you so even like I just try to do it in my DayDay life even with

Stand up us think about trivial things like this what I should really my life telling stupid jokes about shagging whatever right but now I think to myself like maybe if I can be give people a laugh for a we bit that’s enough and that might be weird given that I’ve just

Spent 20 minutes talking about grief right but H hopefully and this will be my last and H next time I’ll come back with a more you know like a less depressing show like for example if my dad dies and uh back next year my show called man Jennings homeowner so an uplifting tail

About getting on the property ladder one of the ways actually that I have kind of tried to H my Mom’s memory was um was actually like um when when she passed away like where she used to do our massages and stuff is the we shed out the back where we now record our

Podcast right now you might be the last thing the world needs a [ __ ] other podcast with guys talk sh You’ be correct in that assumption right from time to time we do get people who listen send his messages say listen I’ve been going through a really hard time I’ve

Been you know struggling and stuff and listen to your podcast is has got his um has got his through it and so whenever I see those messages I just think the weing in a small way doing the same carrying on the like the leg said with

My mom done in the same space that she done it with her clients and then it took me a while to get around to to moving it Bo or moving any of her stuff right in that place and when I eventually did I was going through her

Stuff and I found like a we note right and she left I don’t really know when she WR this I even why right but just had this thing it just said notes to self on it right and it just had these three things and just said keep positive

Keep happy and live life to the full and I just thought that’s an amazing thing that I can look at now whenever I’m trying to H my Mom’s memory just keep those fre things in mind certainly a better list of goals than the one I was

Trying to go on in 2016 and definitely a better man than the when I paid 500 quid for as well so I thought I thought there’s no better way for me to honor my Mom’s memory and just keep those few things in mind I thought there’s no

Better way to end the show just to share that with you although I’m sure that my mom knew that I was using something that she’d written to end my show way she’d be like a mother’s one awesome guys thank you very much I hope you enjoyed It best of luck with the wedding guys L he been love the it’s not always easy when it’s a small stuff that been absolutely lovely and so I really appreciate you all coming out um thanks a lot and I’ll hopefully see you again something soon thanks everyone cheers