NY Resolutions aka I don’t fuck with promises | No Accounting for Taste Podcast w/ Kyle and Shane

Are they resolutions or goals or even necessary? Comedians Shane Torres and Kyle Kinane start the year off right and keep it positive to defend NY resolutions. Call or Email Us! We would love to hear what you thought about this episode, and suggestions for future topics. (971) 259-8302.

Thanks to this weeks sponsors:

Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/NAFT.

Add Fitbod to your workout essentials. Join Fitbod today to get your personalized workout plan. Get 25% off your subscription or try the app FREE at Fitbod.me/NAFT.

Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app NOW and use code NAFT. New customers can bet just FIVE BUCKS to get TWO HUNDRED INSTANTLY IN BONUS BETS.
Only on DraftKings Sportsbook with code NAFT. The crown is yours.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kyleshanenaft
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kyleshanenaft
Twitter: https://twitter.com/kyleshanenaft
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kyleshanenaft

[Laughter] I it’s got It’s such a detailed sound effect because it’s the paper unrolling and it just sounds like like a staticy interference there’s a little bit of like a that makes you think like I think my I’m not plugged in all the way yeah yeah I’ve already got crackly audio

Going on Happy New Year happy [ __ ] New Year everybody the kitty cat and the shaniac are back in the studio and Charlene the queen bee is back and her havo in Los Angeles now look they love you sh we don’t but they doy anyway wow so we hope you guys have had

A good start to your year we’re 3 days in recording this and already Kyle is off to a better start than the last time he plugged his unu unplugged his computer so I didn’t write anything because a cardiologist today and I was having stress attacks and now I have a

Monitor on oh no what happened you have no panic attacks um my panic attacks I went to a Cardiologist that’s a heart doctor for all you uh brick breakers out there that listen to this podcast um yeah no so I didn’t uh write an intro but I hope your resolutions are

Good or whatever um if you get one of the 10 done you wrote down then you’re probably doing 10% better than most people so that’s the opening for the start of the Year trying to keep it consistent do I mean do you want do you want to talk about

It actually yeah okay here we go so I go in and I’m 2 minutes late and they have the front desk guy call me which already I know everyone’s time is valuable 2 minutes not a huge deal secondly they walk me in right away I go into the exam room and the woman

Goes all right sit there take off your shirt okay yeah and then I met four people for the first time with my shirt off well and I know but it’s not the best way to meet someone for the first time you never been to a pool party excellent question Kyle the

Setting is different Kyle the setting’s different but you’ve never met somebody new at the beach how often am I at the beach my point being it put me in a weird mood they strapped in on they strapped on a little chest monitor uh and I worked out before so I can’t

Shower till 6:00 tomorrow and then I can strip this thing off my chest in 3 days oh yeah and the woman the nurse that was putting it on had to like it’s like an adhesive so she just kind of like rubbed the monitor on to me for like 3

Minutes uh-huh and I could see her expression changing with the way she was just like this is like a weird chest like I felt like it was telling me that a nurse in a doctor’s office who touches all sorts of fluids and bodies and disgustingness you’re telling me that

Your body was repulsive to her is that what you’re first of all you inserted repulsive I feel like you were I feel like you were word con all right everybody this is no accounting for tast we’re talking about New Year’s resolution hit the music Charlene repulsive Jesus pal you’re good with

Words you know that man I think the gym is dumb did Rachel walk in the room of course I’ve eaten a Baconator man if you ain’t doing CrossFit you can get cross but right a long Burger is not the worst idea I’ve ever heard that’s your STI

Comom right there as a as a as a Mr Fix It All who just can’t fix his heart we will not be defending Atlantic City no accounting for Taste if it’s something that somebody loves let’s try and celebrate it instead of uh [ __ ] on it do you ever feel like money is just

Flying out of your account and you have no idea where it’s going well I know it’s all those subscriptions so I used rocket money to help me find out what subscriptions I’m actually spending money on it was eye opening and I had them cancel the ones I didn’t want

Anymore stop wasting money on things you don’t use cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocket money.com that’s rocket money.com rocket money.com naft presented by DraftKings fantasy sports check out what DraftKings has to offer this season with code nft because life’s more fun when you’re in on the

Action DraftKings the crown is yours gambling problem call 1800 Gam Gambler age and eligibility rest restrictions apply void where prohibited see draftkings.com for details whether you’re a seasoned gym goer or just starting your fitness journey fitbod will push you to make progress it’s like having your own personal fitness trainer

But even better it’s cheaper you can work out anywhere with or without equipment it’s easy to build a custom fitness plan that works for you add fitbod to your workout Essentials join fitbod today to get your personalized workout plan get 25% off your subscription or try the app free at

Fitbod domme nft that is fit.me nft we’re talking about New Year’s resolution happy New Year 2024 the year of the Epstein list a lot of people like to get in shape for the New Year’s a lot of people like to get healthier you started by going to the

Doctor and getting your heart getting your ticker tapped on yeah I guess that B I moved to high alcohol beers cuz now now I live in my house I got St stairs so I figure I’ll work it all off I think St I think having a

Staircase in your house is uh one of the keys to Healthy Living I mean I can’t argue with it I mean like your legs are probably your largest muscle group on your body I so there is some what about my big old dick oh that’s an organ

Uh I love man standing up doing this it rules there’s so much more theatrical comedy to it now we’re gonna make this YouTube channel count instead of sitting around like a bunch of adults yeah Kyle just turns into Cat Williams on us oh no oh be honest you Ain smoking weed

Every day I don’t know what the [ __ ] you doing with your life solid it is it is very it is very fun to do I truly donate it oh man I think I need a heart monitor now Kyle let me ask you Charlene let me ask you you got any New Year’s resolutions

Nope no also I don’t [ __ ] with promises man although world’s an UNC place we got we got a name for the episode now I don’t [ __ ] with promises resolutions marriage Bank endorsements there’s just uh certain certain things I don’t subscribe to man yeah uh I make them every year so I

Really yeah every year I always got them but I love a list I’m very prone to that so users to wear more red this year it’s a red flannel it’s not yeah it’s an e wasn’t like a big joke it was just if it’s a nice red shirt I don’t

Know if it wasn’t a big joke at me Bob Evans Charlene why don’t you Weighing on this you think that was a day well I was on the fence but I think Bob Evans really delivered yeah don’t you wish you could just walk away right now do it again Kyle

No he’s on an elator I might have to start doing this standing this oh escalator oh I don’t have the legs for that anymore o what’s the front of your thighs that’s the quads quads i l haven’t been I haven’t ritten a bike I want to ride a bike more that’s what my

New Year’s resolution is yeah I said the 40 6y old man okay 47 [ __ ] [ __ ] I love that and I vow to be sassier so so you guys don’t do resolutions did you ever no I don’t I feel no I never did okay I mean I don’t need a date to like convince me to do something if I want to do something do it

Right yeah but and agree yeah but like for me it’s like a a reset and I think I enjoy that part of it and I’m pretty pretty good at getting a lot of it done honestly I mean I I would say not necessarily a New Year’s resolution but

Every single Sunday night I’m like next week is going to be the week that I get my [ __ ] together and do everything the way that I’m supposed to so I have a weekly resolution of so instead of once a year you do it 52 times do it two times and every time I

Fail yep that’s well that’s why I think that’s why like why make a grand one when I can’t like accomplish it’s like I [ __ ] I’m G to [ __ ] up a grilled cheese sandwich but let me cook Thanksgiving dinner for everybody there’s a little bit of like like I’ve never picked up a basketball

But I better challenge Michael Jordan to a game of one-on-one right now auditioning for the NBA I think that’s what they call it right yeah trying out I guess auditioning yeah I guess they’re kind of the same right yeah what do you do you you do make them I do make them

Yeah I and they you know largely they are last year I hit almost every professional one no [ __ ] yeah but but that’s you guys saw you guys saw me last year I was a mess well I don’t think that’s true is it I don’t know I’m wearing too much red

This year I uh I said you I said your it was your goal to wear more not too much I didn’t say too much no he didn’t say too much that’s fair that’s fair yeah I guess those are goals but resolutions help me I kind of consider them to be

The same thing but I think you make a good point there like a confuse them to be the same thing yeah exactly like I feel like a resolution is like you’re turning over a new Leaf to do something new and different not you’re still striving for the

Same yeah enjoy my life more this year as opposed to Oh I like that yeah that’s a good plan for you you were you all you do all you were doing was working and traveling and somewhere I’m I’m happy to hear that from you Shane yeah but I

Enjoy work so I’m going to work even more oh no that’s my new premise was like cuz I’m like how I’m loading the truck and moving [ __ ] in it’s like a chaos thing and it’s like we’ll work smarter not harder I’m like well being smart is is pretty hard for some of us

Dip [ __ ] that’s what people don’t understand you know how hard it is for me to be smart I could just do I can just move this brick a thousand times instead of going to find a wheelbarrow and do what it not a think yeah yeah yeah my brains are in my

Arms I uh that’s one of my all-time favorite 30 Rock jokes is like Baldwin has a heart attack and he’s like scared he’s going to die and he goes I only have one regret I wish I’d worked more I knew I knew people I had uh friends that even before they were done

With college they were like and then when I retire I might do this stuff and I just I it’s a buddy I talked to it’s my best friend growing up from like kindergarten and you know you were talking about like you know your you know conservative relatives and stuff

And he’s conservative you know lives in a country has acreage and yeah farms and stuff yeah but yeah he was like always career-minded and just yeah I’m going to you know and then when to retire like just planning on when you’re 60 or whatever the age will be when you can

Retire of like finally living your life and that’s how I view resolutions in a smaller sense of like if I’m if I if there’s something I want to do or want to change there dates are arbitrary you should just for sure I’m not waiting do it I mean I think I I am

Probably a person who takes resolutions and and interprets them as goals yeah uh which is I don’t think necessarily bad but they’re not really a change in philosophy they’re just more of a a shift in focus on accomplishing like so uh yeah so maybe like the resolution should be more

Uh I guess like a philosophy based way of approaching things as opposed to like attaining yeah you can you can you can app it all the time like like birthdays and things like New Year’s holidays I don’t like them I think because they are a reminder of the passage of time

Whereas I look at like you got your starting date and your ending date and then everything in between there you can let time Define how you feel like oh [ __ ] I turned 47 and I can feel old because 47 I could look at what other

People do when they 47 or I could put together my electronic drum set over here and try to ride bikes more and maybe skateboard a little bit and forget you’re confusing 47 with 11 which [ __ ] I hope I confuse every age with 11 until I die that’s not that’s not so

Bad man honestly no I I I’m being serious that people use the number to all of a sudden Define how they’re supposed to behave or use the or use the time of year use New Year to be like well I better start acting this way or start

Like I don’t I have not subscri cribe to that ever in my life I think I uh I agree with what you’re saying uh I like it’s kind of like you do have your starting page and your ending page so really how you write the

Middle of the book is kind of where yeah yeah yeah I just want to start uh writing my ending soon so maybe being healthier is a good a good resolution well I think the tough part is uh obviously not a fitness Guru but you take care of

Your insides you I know when I don’t drink for a while I’m mentally sharper and I feel better it’s difficult for me to not go with the temporary like ah man a couple drinks and I’ll be silly and this night will be fun with my friends

Tomorrow will suck and I’ll piss away a whole day and I get pissed at myself for that I get pissed at myself for like how much this much [ __ ] uh you know disposable fun with friends now costs this much in daylight yeah feeling shitty and I need to know how to appreciate this

Much and this is what’s more important than the oh I should get drunk on a Tuesday night it’s Wednesday though so yeah well I think it’s also like um one of those things are like I it’s not about how much you’re drinking it’s or like whatever it’s

Really more like a thing of like how much am I enjoying this drinking because of what I’m doing so like and that’s where Um so like the other night we went out what did we go out we went out two nights when I was in town right yeah yeah and then one night we went out the night before New Year’s Eve yeah well we went on Wednesday W the show yeah thur was rough

Or no Thursday was the night we were out yes Friday was rough then we went out Saturday and Sunday was rough Sunday was New Year’s Eve it’s was rough it’s like the tax it’s such a high tax rate for those kind of nights yeah especially I

Mean I mean it really is just cuz we’re older though right yeah well and also neither one of us is like hey at 9:00 tomorrow you want to go on a hike yeah we kick each other in the dick if we said that to one another but why why that could be a

Fun thing I think I just got to start smoking more weed man why don’t you walk to your bong that’s in your basement no it’ll be upstairs I’m in the basement right now and that’s the steps that will I got I’ll monitor my steps Kyle’s in his

Rumpus room it is my it is the rumpus room I don’t want to mess up with the c you should see what’s going on around here I well I guess we’re talking about resolutions why don’t we uh I think we’re yeah we can switch into the next

Segment I think let’s keep all right yeah everybody we’ll be right back with this ad from our sponsor after this ad from our Sponsor rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions mon your spending and helps lower your bills I needed this a lot I’ve used this app several times I have a thousand subscription services and I probably used three of them everything from gym services like class

Pass to other things like various streaming services I’m not allowed to mention in this ad for many reasons but my point being money is going out the door all the time and I never know why rocket money has over 500 5 million users and has helped save its members

And average of $720 a year with over 500 million in cancelled subscriptions that is a lot stop wasting money on things you don’t use cancel your unwant unwanted subscriptions by going to Rocket money.com na that’s rocket money.com rocket Money.com and you heard that from the kitty cat Jack draftking Sportsbook an official sports betting partner of the NFL play is bringing you an offer that will help make the playoffs electrifying new customers can bet five bucks on any game and get 200 instantly in bonus bets

I like some let’s check the lines right now let’s see Sunday at 4:20 East Coast time we got my Dallas Cowboys playing the Washington commanders and Dallas is favored by 13 points and the over under is 45 and a half so that might be something you want to check out if

You’re a Cowboys fan or a commander fan uh formerly known as the Washington football team and formerly before that something else you do realize this is coming out on Monday the 8th right well they should have put smart money down earlier download the draftking Sportsbook app now and use code nft new

Customers can bet just five bucks to get 200 instantly in bonus bets only on draftking Sportsbook with code nft the crown is yours gambling problem call- 1800 Gambler or visit www.1 1800 gambler. net in New York call 8778 hope Andy or text hope Andy 467 369 in Connecticut help is available for

Problem gambling call 888878 977-7734 hourss after issuance C dk.com football for eligibility and deposit restrictions terms and responsible gaming resources working out I’m not a real gym rat I need to have some music or a podcast to motivate me I gotta have headphones I gotta have my water bottle

With me I like to stay hydrated you know that’s what I got to have I got to have my comfy shorts I usually just wear like a my favorite thing when I work out is I wear a crappy t-shirt usually from a restaurant so people think I’ve already

Lost more weight than I really already have and it’s a good look but uh what’s really important to have is the app fitbod it’s great it’s a fitness app creates completely personalized workouts that adapt as you improve it’s like having your own personal trainer but it’s even better it’s cheaper and you

Could work out anywhere with or without equipment and it’s easy to build custom fitness plan that works for you the thing I love about fitbod is when I go get my workout in I can track everything I do on it and then I’m going to fit my

B into a smaller pair of jeans everybody get in there do some tricep presses maybe a little bit of a back row and then your B’s going to be fit and then you put it in the fitbot app and it is going to change your habits

Fitbot that was some ASMR add fitbod to your workout Essentials join fitbod today get your personalized workout plan get 25% off your subscription or try the app free at fitbod domme nft that is fitbod DME naft and we are back this is the first episode of the year and this is the good

And the bad um you know what that part is you listen to this podcast if you’re a new listener in 2024 where you been we could have used your last year anyway our YouTube channel has 3500 subscribers I know that’s not those aren’t numbers

To get nuts about in the scope of uh uh ticktockers who show their ass at the mall but I think it’s no they’re comedians I didn’t those those ass shots are hilarious oh oh yeah the shots of their butts are are brilliant and hilarious they’re artists they’re valuable God nothing funnier than

Somebody who’s sexy yes that’s right Matt rif is the king of comedy oh my God this guy everyone patronage to the king we just a few we are just Jesters who have nothing to do with comedy speak for my New Year’s resolution is to get hotter this year I mean I’m pretty much

On my way but well I think with I think with I think with the standing and the rolled up yoga mat in the back you’re probably really going I think I think if I just like keep letting my hair grow long the bald spot will get inspired and want to fill

Out that’s like what how I always think that if I get enough freckles it’ll be one freckle and I’ll be Tang on yeah you’ll just the same kind of MTH it’s like melanoma like that’s not good oh my God I I believe in you Charlene I

Believe in you Kyle we’re gonna do this forget Bob Evans over here yeah oh you [ __ ] [ __ ] can never stay in your shirt when you’re wearing a tablecloth that hurt on two levels because it’s a great burn was really was you feel really good

About I got to stand up when I do this Kyle’s on fire he’s bowling me over the blood’s flowing I’m loose New Year’s resolution statistics 2024 20% of respondents say they keep themselves accountable accountable when it comes sorry I’m going to start that over we’re not editing this why I

Mean okay you don’t have to read it you can just summarize it no one said I’m going learn to read better this year oh you [ __ ] Jag good resolution for some uh 20% of respondents say they keep themselves accountable when it comes to sticking to their goals this is a

Massive drop compared to last year’s survey for which 77% of respondents said they would keep themselves yikes maybe it’s because it’s a presidential year they just ask just five people each time and then a different five people people yeah five people leaving a gym if they

Hold on to their goals then we ask five people at a bar at 2 in the morning yeah I think uh we’ve learned that polls don’t mean [ __ ] right like who believes a poll anymore after what politics is uh yeah like at this point we’ve been really duped by a few of them

Yeah yeah it’s not applicable in court yeah who was the who was the guy Nate silver the 538 guy mhm yeah yeah yeah oh Christ what do you what are you get messages from your cardiologist you up you should be your heart rate’s through the roof nobody can

Sleep through this call us we’re scared yeah I’ll knock on one for you too Charlene you knock on wood too let’s make it a three for okay I heard that that made you feel better I just turned around in a circle for no reason just standing up standing

Up podcasted rules man all all right that’s that’s Kyle Sebastian Manos scalco canine everybody oh pretty good was pretty good I mean perfect for audio format he’s a you’re not watching this if you’re watching Italian M who just says what’s happening Sebastian medelco if you’re listening to this on

Audio you really cut the tomato right I’m cutting the Tomato cutting it I’m cutting a tomato but I’m in jail right I’m in jail cutting a tomato YouTube numbers through the Rooks yep 48% of people say improving Fitness is the top priority in 2024 while 36% cited improving mental

Health speaking of thanks to our sponsor fitbot I did not Charlene put that in quotes I know I saw that I saw that in the writing good job Charlene good punch [Laughter] up interestingly another study found the practice of resolution setting may be more in common in the US 37% of

Americans uh as well like 37% of Americans say I’m going to do a resolution right which well just 12% of swedes and 14% yeah only 12% of Swedish people do so like why well well they’re happier so maybe they’re on to something or maybe yeah they’re already in shape

Cuz they you know they got health care and they eat better and they have mental health so that takes out two of the big mental health like I’m going to work yeah they get days off of work resolutions are just [ __ ] spiritual lottery tickets for the impoverished m it God I’m good with

Words I think they why failing at New Years is so common that even a slew of dates commemorating such failures some Source site that uh January 17th is quitters day and the average resolution last just 3.75 months but that’s cuz that okay again we’re looking at the bracketing of

Annually time yeah of time so January is everybody you’re going to start something in the shittiest month of the year mhm it’s cold it’s crummy out the holidays are over now you’re going to try and quit smoking now that you’re just reminded how alone you are or

Whatever you’re going to try and do this [ __ ] when it’s just lousy outside and there’s nothing to hope for and and then oh what’s coming up Valentine’s Day so if you’re single you’re even depressed on that day and you’re going to still be like but thank God I quit drinking or

Whatever like what it’s a bad time of year start it in a start it May 1st when you got summer to be like I’m goingon to get in shape you know why because it’s great outside it’s nice weather I’m going to go for a swim I’m going to walk

On the boardwalk I’m going to quit smoking who needs cigarette smoke when it’s a lovely day outside do your resolutions in the summertime mhm well I actually had a call that said that kind of summarized that if you want pop into a call early if not yeah let’s

Pop into a call Early let’s change it up new year new us let’s do it baby Kyle’s standing I’m sitting I’m wearing red Charlene still the same old hyena she ever was here it comes hey guys uh Happy New Year uh new uh de resolu resolutions uh

I appreciate the sentiment of trying to do something better for yourself or something that you want to change for the better uh I I guess from from coming from someone who lives somewhere where it is winter this time of year I can’t think of a worse time to start something new uh there

Motivation real low I don’t know I think starting a new year’s resolution in January is like going to college straight out of high school you’re going to spend a lot of money uh just to get two months into it to realize that you hate kale and

Running um I don’t know uh I also I mean like it’s a there are POS I mean like uh I I host open mic comedy and I always love for a uh new people come out absolutely I do not need an opener in sou Falls I what we got this is ex is

Absolutely he’s going to tell us about all the people that start comedy in Jan he’s right he’s right I’m just I just wanted to take a dig at sha Jordan how where I could okay well I I wanted like like that that’s a great correlation with like going to college right after

High school something that makes absolutely no sense like oh you’re a years you’re a [ __ ] idiot have a summer now spend five figures on a career that you maybe thought about a little bit when you were 14 years old yeah yeah a lot of countries normalize

Gap year right you take a year or two traveling before you enter free college in countries experience other cultures get an idea of a you know more of a global stage and then let that inform you of what you might want to do for your life right okay yeah are very blue

Right now Shane they look good thanks manam is that a sign of cardiac arrest no they just pop off the red they look good thanks buddy all right oh here’s a fun thing I noticed this uh Charlene put together a combination of most common New Year’s resolutions improve Fitness

At 48% did you just did you just say I noticed this and then started reading no no no you’re going to get I’m trying to get to something okay all right sorry he is trying to keep us on track you’re doing good well guys it’s January 3rd we lasted as long as we

Could oh we have a call for that hold on please God damn it I’m not done yet I’m going to play it hold on no I got to this resolution okay okay okay improve finances 38% speaking of thanks to our new sponsor rocket money again shortly improve mental health 36% lose

Weight 34% improved diet 32% this is the point I’m getting to less popular resolutions including travel more meditate regularly drink less alcohol and Performing better at work rank in at 65 four and three correspondingly percent my point being all of these things that are less popular resolutions pretty much have less

Pressure on you to be like a better person like in a in a physical in a prevented like u a sense of presenting yourself I mean do you see what I’m saying like traveling more and meditating regularly is like healthy and introspective as opposed to like lose weight make more money like

Uh corporate basically yeah to to pile on to that point I feel like we also aren’t attacked by ads every two seconds telling us to go travel the world we do get attacked by ads every two seconds telling us to join the gym because now it’s the new year and it’s a whatever

Deal is happening yeah that might be a good like ad for like someone like like travel ocity or something like enjoy your year don’t put PR and then you do like a travel as opposed to like Planet Fitness now you get where I’m going he fat ass this country loves Chubbies come on

Down not exactly the tone I was going for hey you big old piece of [ __ ] like butter have you thought about France Travelocity hey you ugly there’s more blind people in Australia than any other country in the world oh no oh boy you don’t have any social

Skills go to somewhere where they don’t speak English come on you [ __ ] jerk maybe Spain is your spot oh my God Char what was the call oh okay I’ll play it but New Year’s resolutions are for [ __ ] if you’re making a New Year’s resolution it’s because you’re a piece of [ __ ] you’ve

Been telling yourself all [ __ ] year I’m going to lose weight I’m going quit this I’m going quit that and you don’t [ __ ] do it and then the first of the year rolls around you’re like I’m really sticking to it and then by [ __ ] January 3rd you’re like ah [ __ ] it which

Is the exact date you just said was that it yeah thank you for your call oh that’s Jesus that’s what I want I want an opinion that is definitely not a fact it is certainly an opinion oh man but I like that guy’s gust yeah good thank you for that call thank

You the other we cut the other guy off I I do forget about the joy of seeing an open mic in January there is uh ironically and unironically like ironically to see people like I’m going to do comedy and then they’re terrible and you laugh at them for the wrong

Reasons but I truly do like seeing people that like I I’m not I don’t want to forget what it’s like to start comedy or the humility that comes along with just getting your teeth checked like that oh my God just yeah just getting kicked kicked in the crotch by trying

Something like I don’t want to forget how much that stings or how much it takes to have the gumption to do that so I truly like watching open mics for all the the right and the wrong reasons so yeah um this is the I will say as far as

New Year’s resolution start to cut you off this probably is the best time of the year to start standup if you wanted to because you will blend in with the other people trying it for the first time and if you’re working hard you can be the new person with promise or or you

Or you won’t stand out as much if you’re terrible cuz there’ll be a half dozen other people that are doing the same thing as you and it’s nice to know that when you are starting that there’s other people starting along with you just like it’s nice to go to the gym when you’re

Not in shape and see other people that are just tring along like oh yeah we’re here we’re not trying we’re not showing off we’re just here because we want to feel better about ourselves not everybody’s built like a super soldier like you’re not doing maintenance you’re

Getting there like I when I was we had that gym membership and I would go and just me and the other slobs like all right cool this fuing doughy metalheads here and is all black yeah most walking on a treadmill in combat boots yeah yeah but you’re

Just walking hey hey you started you started at the walkin par good for you yeah boy so I will support the new Open Mic people in January I don’t I don’t resent them at all good for you that’s a good approach well um do we want to get

One more add in and then go to the full call box we can do that unless anyone else has got uh oh before we do that yeah is there a resolution you have heard ever in your life that has made you react positively or negatively in a way outside of the general I

Don’t I don’t think I’ve ever like been around people that really stuck to Res or believed in that kind of approach yeah okay I’d say more like not like a specific resolution but more of an attitude for the year like you’re going into the year and like this is how I’m

Going to feel this upcoming year and I heard this that Greta Gerwig um quote about she’s talking about making the Barbie movie and all of the troubles they ran into you know because women uh and she she just said drive it like drive it like you stole it pretend

You stole the car and you’re just going to go as fast as you can and get it done and I kind of like that for like let’s just all just drive the car like we stole it all right get her done not look back not worry about what other people

Are thinking yeah I think that’s a way better yeah that’s a good fall I have a hard time doing that because I’m usually standing with a group of people watching somebody drive it like they sto going look at this [ __ ] [ __ ] GNA work with them again some see that’s the thing you hear

These great these altruism but then you forget about the group of people going well we’ll never work with that person again because they’re a piece of [ __ ] you know it’s like the the dance like nobody’s watching except we are watching and you’re at a restaurant making a [ __ ] Tik Tock and you’re

Ruining my dinner so yeah you should set up a tripod in front of this waiter sometimes you should think you should consider what other people think cuz you have to work with them again to get the job done I hear you yeah mhm okay well let’s go on to some more

Calls yeah we’ll be right back after this ad from our sponsor rocket money to the Moon my money went to outer space it’s no good there not until Bezos sets up Moon capitalism yeah Prime give me a prime Moon delivery and we’re back yeah yeah look at who’s getting in the spirit

Drinking a cold beer out of a cc give it up for kitty cat canine beer season that’s what is [ __ ] koozy says and it’s got antlers and it’s in my friend my friend Jake yeah my friend Jake gave me that from I have too many Koozies but it is

Fun when you get a they’re it’s like a fun like L one’s fun I got one from a hot dog place just has nice cans on it good one uh my friend Tim mlof when he’s a comic he sells them and it says it’s just says this drink ain’t G to suck

Itself that’s gross and then he goes whenever I go to Indiana I get a th done in camo and it’s the richest I am all year I used to using that that joke structure I used to be come on babe this dick ain’t gonna laugh at itself that was a punchline at one

Point well everyone that’s that’s what it was that’s how it went I want I can I say my favorite New Year’s joke ever was from a comedian named Mike Olson in Chicago who doesn’t do comedy anymore and it was the simplest joke he’s like ah when I I threw up on New

Year’s Eve G out with the old that’s really even must like that one even muster like it is this say yeah simple to the point wonderful joke um yeah so let’s just [ __ ] jump into some Calls Well we’ve got some callers some of them have opinions and some of them are filling Us in on what their resolutions are which direction you want to go let’s go uh back and forth back and forth okay here is a resolution I’ve got another idea for a

New Year’s resolution try all of the soups I have never tried ministr and I have never tried matab ball soup I was just thinking about it I’m in I’m in Utah I’m in Salt Lake City Utah okay where the [ __ ] am I gonna get mats of

Ball soup huh do you it’s it’s not a very diverse Place everyone here is named Skyler or mckinsley all right not a mo ball to be found but I’m gonna do my damnedest to find one and that is my New Year’s resolution but also you can

You can take that one if you want um yum yum kitty cat Kyle Canan and the shabby Tabby Shane Torres look out for his special catch Kyle on the road because he doesn’t promote himself enough all right love you guys bye thank you I love that the kitty cat and the shabby Tabby

I don’t know if I like being referred to as shabby all the soups I couldn’t agree with this guy more on all the soups and my man if you are looking for a matab BAL soup whip one up yourself M yeah it’s they got it and oh I’ll put this to

You my friend you already know about chuckar if you’re in Salt Lake City chuckar is a buffet all right Shane like Chuck Wagon but like an orama of Chuck Wagons think about I every time we go and visit Rachel’s relatives I got to go to chakarama because instead of a buffet

That’s long it’s different Islands m so it’s like here’s the Italian island here’s the Greek island here’s the salad Island and then soup Island so you can this the caller could probably knock out soup Island just sounds a retirement center for like seniors well then then I quit now I quit

Tomorrow and let me live at soup Island it’s the greatest reality show that ever was is it yeah just tasting them oh if you and if you like like the same soup you got to go on a soup date with somebody I love it I never understood the phrase Soup To

Nuts like what does it actually mean yeah uh like I think it means like everything that’s available all the things yeah all of the things that goes into it but why still like you can get peanuts and soup it’s not like a wild thing it’s like we got from cereal to

Milk like that’s that’s those are the two ingredients it’s but it’s like another way of saying from A to Z right yeah but it’s not it’s like saying from a to c that soup is a food and nuts are a food and sometimes you put there

Peanuts that go in soup it’s a dumb phrase well you have unless you’re talking about like metal nuts that go on the end of screws you have uh comedians to blame for that phrase it is from a three stoes movie apparently I mean they fell down

Pretty good but I’m not looking at at him for how to talk literary yeah mhm yeah yeah yeah I’m not I’m not reading a book by the three stages maybe you should I don’t know I’m watching them slap each other I’m not trying to use your Linguistics anyway

That’s a great resolution trying all the soups yeah I’m a huge soup fan Rachel laughed at me because I called a head to a restaurant to see what the soup of the day was that’s because that’s important to me it’s not pathetic [ __ ] you I want

To know what the soup was if it was soup I didn’t want go to somewhere else yeah yeah I you Shane thank you Charlene yeah it’s of the day it changes yeah you don’t want to end up there on a new bwick chowder EG look exactly why would

All of a sudden he wants to try all the soups and now we can’t well maybe because I’ve tried but I don’t want to try the the clam chowder that’s just like wet and loose like a puddle get the [ __ ] out of here with that so you don’t

Like clam chowder or you don’t like wet and loose clam Chow I like clam Chow not this not whatever the one where it’s just in water that’s just like oh it’s back in its habitat I don’t want that I want creamy clam chowder preferably I don’t

Want to know we all want creamy chow chow yeah but that’s what I’m saying the other kind is is what Manhattan is what it is oh you like the Tomato one that’s yeah that’s for [ __ ] though okay that’s exactly what I’m saying Shane you show up to the restaurant thinking

You’re going to get clam chowder you’re like oh I got this tomato buit anyone I don’t think anyone calls Manhattan clam chowder clam chowder even in Manhattan what did you just call it then I called it Manhattan clam chower okay so you’re going out to eat you’re

Going out to eat Shane you’re real excited about soup mhm that’s like to be you always want you’re not you’re not [ __ ] around with a cup you’re getting a bowl maybe a half a sandwich but the important part is this soup mhm now you’re going to a place all they have is

Soup with a day you know they do soup very well but you don’t know what the of the day is you roll in there it’s Manhattan clam chowder how do you feel cheated I am not as thrilled as I would be with regular clam chower you’re right about

Are you going to even eat that I’ll try it I’ll try it no it’s not trying it’s dinner time Shane it’s dinner you’re hungry then I just get the sandwich you try it then I just get the sandwich but what if you just made a simple phone

Call and you found out it was that orange abortion that red abortion oh my God I mean sure like great we can pivot we can change our plans yeah that guy never tasted ministr what the [ __ ] [ __ ] man well to be fair in Utah Italians are

Not white so they aren’t white a lot of places but yes uh oh that’s a anti a good joke alarm from Ian Carell chime in it oh that’s funny nobody has said that about Sicilians in many years well let’s do another call cuz we just spent 12 minutes on a soup diet try

I’m I’ll do soup a whole episode you want to talk about soup I’m and sir please call back and let us know every time you’ve tried a new soup hey yeah call back in give us your name and the soup you’re trying this week you there’s

Got to be 52 soups right we get a soup update every week yeah get over to Chuck arama yeah yeah okay let’s get a soup update here a soup God I’m so hungry for super now whatever we’re doing we’re trying to find things okay soup updates for the patreon here here’s the next

Here’s the next call hey guys I’m chard dog uh calling in about New Year’s revolutions um they’re good I think honestly at the heart but it puts a lot of pressure on individuals to follow through and I think what most people need to remember is having some forgiveness and uh patience with

Themselves because uh it’s easy to break things you know um love what you guys do uh can’t wait for dirt naap Kyle and loved blueeyed Mexican Shane it was [ __ ] awesome uh Char dog take care love you guys bye hey man thank you and also that was nice yeah and thank you for

Uh pressure resolutions that’s a nice yeah to other guy don’t worry if you don’t try all the soups a leave don’t you know don’t put so much pressure you to put it all on you but now that you got two big celebrities from a podcast

Asking you to try soup once a week soup L sports sorry sorry there’s a rat in my house well this has taken whatever happening here I was muted on all the other screams I’m sorry don’t worry about it I would love to hear what’s happening I would like a live

Update of a rat being in your house okay well it ran around the kitchen and Buster chased it and then it disappeared so then I was standing on a chair and it just popped out again now it’s on over in the living room and I can hear him

Scuffling about in there so okay bad time to play another call yeah no let’s do it I know I want to hear the sound of un folds Char I don’t want to go look in there I don’t want I think this is this is live I think you should open your

Video up and we should have access to this yeah 100% the most exciting thing that’s happened on this podcast in two years oh but my computer is in it’s all attached like I can’t that’s all right no just just you moving around in the background I want to see

The okay you get it we get to meet buster did Buster get it I he looks proud of himself oh really yeah he really does look proud oh Buster did did we handle it Buster B boy did we get there oh my God Buster what no we just

[ __ ] with you I didn’t see it oh my God no okay let’s oh I have never seen Buster before what a little cutie PTI old Buster is oh my God that felt good here’s another resolution hey Kyle hey Shane and hey Charlene uh I’m calling in about New Year’s resolutions uh traditionally

They’re not something that I would really be that into I always saw New Year’s as a really good time to reflect uh as opposed to like making a oneoff like here’s what I’m gonna do to better myself that always just never quite seemed like the good thing but um this past year for

2023 there were some articles that came out uh that made me set a New Year’s resolution that I achieved this year and it it turned out a New Year’s resolution was a really powerful thing silly um I ended up setting it what if this guy says I ate 52

Soups I don’t think he’s gonna I no he doesn’t cuz I named The Vi or the voicemail not named that I was hoping it’ be an inspiration finally K Drifter he might be an inspiration here’s the rest of it uh that made me set a New Year’s resolution

That I achieved this year and it turned out a New Year’s resolution was a really powerful thing uh which is very silly um I ended up setting a new year’s resolution to uh go to Hooters because I’d never been into a Hooters and I felt like as an American I needed to have

That experience to just experience American tradition that is a restaurant so uh so yeah so I told my buddies uh back in January last year to that I really wanted to go to a Hooters and so uh one of them actually bought me a a big ass dumb calendar that had Hooters

Girls in it and it like every month I would like turn over the next month’s page and I would send them a photo and we would agree on which Hooters lady was our preferred Hooters lady and then finally uh this past month in December we did like a little guys trip to Lake

Arrowhead um and on our way home we made it a point to stop for me at the Hooters in Ontario California on a Sunday and it was amazing it was better than anything I could have ever thought uh the people watching is incredible and that I know that sounds like I’m talking

About the ladies but it’s not just about the ladies uh the spectacle abound Hooters that is that is a whole subsect of America also kids eat free on Sundays which is silly and amazing uh so in this case New Year’s and resolutions actually turned out to be a really fun thing to

Embrace with me and my friends and so I need uh I’ve already resolved to go to a Hooters again uh for 2024 uh but like I think if you build something with your friends especially and like help them encourage you to do something like silly fun and uh out

There resolutions can be a really cool thing uh in in a in a fun way so thanks you all for doing the podcast and uh have a happy 2024 nice philosophy I like that this guy’s like doing like a fun thing with it as opposed to a pressure Lo them yeah

Here’s here’s a silly thing here’s a little gift certificate to myself to make sure I go do a thing I hope you didn’t tell that whole story to your server at Hooters yeah that would not I have you know what Hooters is like it’s I’ve gone where I’m like I I just

From a vegetarian standpoint I know they do buffalo cauliflower and it’s an easy place to like oh I know I can get some food that I want there it’s not bad it’s not super expensive and if you’re not a [ __ ] just go and eat there there’s a lady in a tank top and

Shorts yeah you’ve eat you’ve eat by the pool before outside the summertime Hooters is so tame comparatively now to like maybe what every bartender wears in Brooklyn that I know like half the time you know like like I don’t give a [ __ ] but Hooters is like no like it’s fine

Instagram is more po like sexual than Hooters oh well and this is yeah now we could just be like the oldest people by my day Hooters was a scandalous place and now you can go to church wearing that outfit but also that is kind of the temperature of the world is like yeah

Hooters is like and if your kids can eat free yeah not bad and I had my 13th birthday party at Hooters thanks Pop probably that’s yeah I mean you’re going through puberties all these ladies around that’s when you’re hungriest you’re going to that’s where you’re going to put a dent in them

A dent in them D in what you [ __ ] their budget my my 13 you at 13 Going for chicken wings this kid’s on round seven he’s got no blood left in his head we know why just keep feeding him till he passes out so probably got to beat off in the

Car he can’t even help himself we got to fill him up till his arms are [Laughter] useless we got to make him more full than horny oh oh my God uh here’s another resolution okay let’s do one or two more how’s the what’s the rat update well oh Buster just came I was

Like Buster’s been gone for too long but he’s back now so uh I think the rat’s hiding somewhere which okay is my nightmare CU well get it out of my room before I come visit H God knows it could be anywhere uh so that’s great so my New

Year’s resolution is get the rat out of my house it’s probably a mouse it was it was quite small but I bet it’s a posum it could it could have been anything okay here we go here’s somebody else’s resolution I’ve quit smoking um every year for like the last

[ __ ] 10 years because of New Year you know so hey you got that going for yourself I’m smoking a cigarette right now while I’m staring at the [ __ ] nicotine patches that are like five feet away from me hope you guys are having a good one take it easy love you

Kle love you Shane love you Charlene meow meow he’s happy with it yeah every year he’s resolving to quit so in some sense he has committed to quitting eventually he will MH oh it it might be part of a package deal but I knew where you were going all right well unwrap the

Cellophane of life my friend oh boy let’s do one more and then do our plugs and get the [ __ ] out of here what do he say sh’s got to feed a rat oh God and that is not a sexual euphemism anyway there’s no way it could

Be oh my God gross here we go I was thinking about um resolu iions for the new year I personally think that they’re great why not set a goal to do something whether it’s something huge or to neat or something that that’s huge that you might actually be that’s even better um

It’s I don’t know it’s fun to hear what people think are their goals that they’re going to be focused on for the year um mine personally uh I’m coming up on a new coming up on 40 so my goal is to be better at 40 than at 39 she

Actually buys me some bonus time but anyways uh yeah why not why not set a goal why not try why not a little bit but at least for five minutes anyways everyone is they’re all just trying so yeah good luck to everyone good luck to everyone yeah that’s um I think that’s

What the captain of the Titanic set to right before oh no I think I think being better at 40 than you are at 30 is easier because I think 30 you are a [ __ ] show and you also realize you’re 30 and not 20 and you’ve been partying for 10 years yes so

Whether you realize it or not your 30s you are kind of getting things together so I think you’re already there a little bit caller more than you realize but best of luck to you in your goals and I that’s a good positive yeah no she’s like she’s trying you know like she’s

Got a couple like and that’s like um that’s a perspective based one you know like sometimes it’s like party less or just be nicer to my call my M that’s like open-ended enough to where you can do some things yeah and still land on the side of being

Better it’s not so definitive well like you’re saying philosophy not so much resolutions yes yeah she’s not trying to run an Iron Man or anything yeah it’s that kind of [ __ ] like I’m going to climb them out like all right yeah like here I am on my

Grind same old year here’s me a year later still back on my [ __ ] grind bro knuckle push-ups this year [ __ ] everyone all right everyone Charlene tell them where they can find the rat I believe it’s in my bedroom at this point so inner bedroom.com so on all socials Charlene’s bedroom rat on

Instagram Charlene’s Rat’s Nest Char in sex rat Nest everybody why am I having sex with the rat no no no no no don’t don’t overthink it okay why am I having sex with the rat that is the way to end the first episode of the year more sex with rats

2024 he’s Kyle Canan on all the things I’m Shane torus on all the things subscribe to the YouTube channel please watch my new special the blue-eyed Mexican watch special shocks and struts thank you to all of our sponsors all Fant uh no all things Comedy All fantasy

Everything is a podcast not a podcast network uh and thank you so much to the wonderful and vivacious Charlene Connelly for putting this episode together and thank you to our sponsors rocket mortgage DraftKings and probably something else until then exter Trump 2024 everybody let’s make that all our resolution no oh Charene