Micro-Adjustments for Lasting Life Change

0:00 Introduction
1:44 Your journey and how you arrived at this spot
7:37 What happens if we’re not paying attention?
13:21 What was it for you or your awakening?
19:16 What’s your take on intuition?
26:32 How can we support our kids more with their intuition?
32:32 What do you do with your intuitive hits?
36:46 What are some of those micro-movements?
42:04 How can our listeners start doing that for themselves too?
45:55 Where can the listeners find you?

🤔 Ever wondered how to break free from burnout and anxiety?
🤯 Do you feel disconnected from your intuition?
💪 Ready to make micro-adjustments that lead to lasting change?
In this compelling podcast episode on The Courage To Be™, Nicole Connor takes us on her transformative journey. She shares how she battled debilitating burnout, anxiety, and self-doubt, eventually finding healing through many different modalities. .
But here’s the real question: How can getting radically honest with yourself and trusting your intuition lead to personal transformation? Nicole unravels the connection between emotional and physical pain, highlighting the power of silence and self-observation.
Join the conversation as Nicole discusses making micro-adjustments in life, building trust, and embracing change. This episode is your guide to unlocking your inner strength and living a life of courage and self-accountability. Don’t miss it! 🌟

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Ever wondered how to break free from burnout and anxiety? Do you feel disconnected from your intuition? Today’s guest, Nicole Connor takes us on her transformational journey. She shares how she found healing through many different modalities with small micro adjustments. Listen up. You’ll get so many insights. Welcome to the courage to be podcast.

I’m your host, Tania Vasallo. And each week I will bring you amazing guests so that you can tap into the courage to break out of old patterns. and live your soul’s purpose. Before we get into this episode, if by the end, you enjoyed it, please

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Welcome back to the courage to be where we have powerful conversations to transform your life and your business. And today we have Nicole Connor here with us. Welcome, Nicole. Hi, Tania. Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to have this conversation with you.

Our energies have always been in such alignment and there’s several things that I want to get us started so the listeners can get to know you. You’re known to transform people’s pain and to power. And I know you’ve had your own journey of healing yourself.

Can you tell us a little bit about your journey and how you arrived to this spot? Absolutely. I found myself in 2017 suffering from debilitating burnout, and at that time it appeared to be caused by my job. I was working in corporate finance. Probably anywhere from 80 to a hundred hours a week.

It was incredibly demanding. My jurisdiction kind of spanned San Francisco to Hong Kong. So it’s, I could never really truly turn off, but there were so many misalignments between the work that I was doing and my own ethical and moral compass that that job was actually literally starting to cripple me.

I was having severe physical pain. I was starting to have panic attacks, a lot of anxiety. I wasn’t sleeping and I was an absolute. Mess. And I ended up having to quit my job because I literally did not know what else to do.

Everyone I was asking for help, everywhere that I was going, trying to seek remedy, just kept putting up, walls for me. And I think I was looking in all the wrong places. I was looking at the corporation and people within the company to fix inherent issues inside of that structure. And…

I ended up having to leave and just really focus on myself and it was when I left that job, I was lucky enough to be able to take a significant amount of time off and I put myself into almost a self imposed isolation and started to get really,

Really curious about holistically healing myself because I come from a family that has a lineage of mental illness and people who have been inside of the allopathic medical system seeking assistance. And between the lack of care that I witnessed, the over medication, I was incredibly traumatized as a child witnessing that.

So, not wanting to go through that experience myself, I just got really curious. I did what I do best and I start researching. And it led me into starting to meditate to learn about chakras. And it brought me to a Reiki practitioner who started working on my kind of energetic body.

And at this time, I had no idea what any of that meant, but what she was able to do was start bringing an awareness to me about how my physical pain was a manifestation of my emotional pain. And I started learning about body mapping and how emotions get trapped in the body.

And that became probably the most Transformative season of my life in terms of being able to understand that this high threshold for pain that I had this disassociation that was existing within my body was a trauma response. And then I was able to start really kind of digging into inner child healing and

Learning how to allow my own curiosity to navigate me into spaces when I. Was ready. I wasn’t trying to rip off a bandaid and move too quickly through it. I was truly just following my curiosity and I learned intuitive development, which was incredibly interesting.

And that was a wake up call and learning how My emotions and what I’m absorbing around me are two very different things and it taught me how to kind of learn how to differentiate between the two of them. And as I’ve kind of gone through this journey on my own, I tend

To attract people that are in similar situations as we do. Usually you attract who you be. And. I naturally started guiding people through their own curiosity to be able to find their way to their own paths of healing. Not anything that’s super linear and prescribed, but truly tailored

To meet them where they are. And that has evolved over time into the Grand Rising Experience, which is my brand. And I have a podcast, I have articles, and I work. With people through a theory that I like to call my pain pyramid, which is before

You can rise, you have to halt and halt by definition is like a temporary pause. But HALT for me is an acronym for honesty, acceptance, loyalty, and trust. And for any meaningful change to really happen in our lives, we have to be

Able to get radically honest about where we are and how we got there, except that we can’t change the past. And we cannot change where we are in the present moment, but we can begin to find a new way to navigate forward.

But in doing that, what we have to do is start to cultivate an inner loyalty, where we stop self betraying, so that we can now learn how to trust ourselves, which ultimately ends up being how we learn to trust our intuition, which is our own personal touchstone to truth.

And it is something that naturally adds and flows over time and scales as we unlayer deeper truths about ourselves. But I found it to be a very, powerful model to work through with people because at the end of the day, we can have all of these external modalities

And we can do all of the tapping and the meditating and the yoga. But if we can’t be really honest with ourselves. We can’t expect honesty outside of ourselves. We can’t expect loyalty outside of ourselves. And we can not create the discernment to be able to distill truth outside of ourselves either. Yeah.

Fascinating. Let’s go back a little bit. You said that you were working 80 to 100 hours a week and you’re working so hard. That was kind of your nudge. Let’s talk about a little bit. I’m a big believer in the universe giving us the gentle nudge.

And then it’s kind of like the slap on the face and then it’s like the four by four, you just get hit by it, which sounds like that’s what happened to you. Tell us a little bit about that. Like what happens if we’re not paying attention?

Because I feel like there’s so many women entrepreneurs. Out there, myself included, that we just were doing, doing, doing, we’re busy. I think it comes from ancestral, patriarchal, you know, it’s just like having to prove ourselves. So I want to go into a little bit of that path.

Why do you think you were working 80 to a hundred hours a week before you got that hit? You know, just like. This needs to stop. I was working through deep imposter syndrome. I was living my life through imposter syndrome. So I didn’t have, I would say, quote, the education to be

In the space that I was in. Every job I’ve ever had is one that has been offered to me based on my talents, skills, abilities, and relationships that I’ve built. But because I never had the goods on paper, I’ve always carried this chip and this unworthiness that I didn’t deserve to be there.

And in order to be there, I had to work twice as hard as everyone else. And that wasn’t always just like a silent thought. Sometimes that was spoken out loud to me by superiors within the company. And I really carried the shame of like the lack of education that I had.

Not understanding the difference between skills and talents, not knowing that skills are something you develop and talents are something you innately have. And that I was there because of who I was and because I’m highly adaptable, very intelligent and learn on my feet. Very creative.

And I have the ability to pull together big concepts and bring them to life. And the positions that I’ve always been in have required that I do that. And Working through the imposter syndrome and that feeling of not enoughness took

Me years, but it really was what pulled me into the depths of my own hell. And then it was the unwinding of it that kind of started to give me the breadcrumbs and the trails out of it. And as you said, there’s ancestral, there’s weaving of an ancestral trauma

That’s inside of there as well when it comes to lack and scarcity programming. And what I was witnessing in that space were a lot of people that were suffering from the exact same thing that I was, but all in our own way,

And it was all being projected into this collective space in its own way. So whether it was the overachiever, the person who was cuddling up to the, the bosses or the managers. Whether it was people like me who were sitting at their desk and burning

The midnight oil people who were very prideful and boastful of their work, even though there wasn’t really any discernible difference between the quality of work that was coming out. It was a really interesting kind of, character study that was happening during that time.

But I think we end up in those spaces and we find ourselves, Betraying ourself, betraying those intuitive nudges simply because we feel that we’re not worthy. And for me, it was showing up in my digestive system. I was having a really hard time digesting food.

A lot of kind of acid reflux and issues like that. I had severe back pain, that I was not able to correct. I was constantly sick. I had strep throat, I think, four times in 12 months. I wasn’t sleeping, and it was starting to creep into my home life.

It was affecting my relationships. It was affecting my ability to communicate with other people in a kind and compassionate way. But it was slow and it was insidious, until it wasn’t, until it could no longer be ignored. Because it was literally, like you said, the universe just pounding at the door

Saying, like, You need to pay attention. And the big wake up for me, I was on vacation, my phone wouldn’t stop ringing. And I had a panic attack so severe that I thought I was going to have to call 911. I thought I was having a heart attack.

And I ended up leaving my job two and a half weeks after that. Wow, this is, so profound and I commend you on your level of awareness, you know, because you’ve went through it. Now, obviously, you can see it in hindsight, you’ve learned so much from it.

But there’s a lot of people that either have gone through it. And didn’t learn about it or have gone through it or are in it right now and can’t, you know, pull themselves out to see this and see it as a blind spot. And you’ve mentioned now a couple of times, you know,

Of just this, emotional pain. Translating into physical pain. So let’s go down that path, Nicole, because I’m a big believer. Louise Hay was one of my mentors and she has that little dictionary. I don’t know if you’ve ever read her book.

It’s like a little dictionary of ailments that she attributes after seeing thousands and thousands of clients, you know, that they’d come in and they’re like, Oh, I have migraines, or I have severe back pain or whatever it was, the patterns repeated themselves that there was that emotional pain that then manifested physically.

And I’m a big believer that when it comes to the point of physical. That that’s our body trying to speak to us and to tell us something’s wrong. And so I always go to that dictionary, like, okay, I have a sore throat. Why am I having a sore throat? What is sore throat?

Okay. That’s related to the speaking, this chakra here, you know, like getting my voice heard, you know, is there something going on? Is there a fear? Is there something there? So. What was it for you or your awakening? For me, it was through Louise Hay of relating those correlating the

Emotional to the physical, but I want to hear your perspective and how you arrived to that conclusion or started paying attention to it. Yeah, it was when I was, kind of on my wellness sabbatical and I was looking just for any holistic way to feel better.

Anything that didn’t require a pharmaceutical and it brought me to this Reiki practitioner and I had an awareness of Energetic medicine up until that point. And I had had a brief encounter with it a few years prior. I had a near fatal infection after a wisdom teeth extraction, and it was

Actually an energy practitioner that was able to open my mouth, because my master muscle had atrophied and she had kind of planted the seed at that time that you have an emotional body that you need to tend to, or your physical body’s going to go haywire. But I kind of stuffed that down.

It was like I had that seed planted, but I wasn’t paying attention to it. And that was two years prior. So I think it was that awareness that allowed me to be a little more open to the energy work moving forward because I had such success with it at that time.

But when I was working with this Reiki practitioner, she was really, I could feel parts of my body unlocking areas that held tension. And it gave me. It kind of sparked this curiosity within me to start learning how to kind of body map. And it was something I did intuitively.

So when I was sitting really still, I would kind of close my eyes and take a deep breath and I’d start at my toes and I’d go all the way up to the top of my head. And I would take stock of every little sensation that would occur

In my body and really try and tune in to maybe where my muscles were. Tensing or where I was feeling like an influx of energy or I get most people would maybe consider it circulation. Like you really feel that movement in your body.

If I was holding my breath on the inhale or holding it on the exhale, where I was feeling tension in my shoulders and my jaw. And then I would just Google, what does this mean? And I would literally just use my little pocket computer and try and figure out

If I could almost kind of self diagnose. What those were. And at that time, I was like the spiritual meaning of and then that started bringing me into different modalities of medicine. Most recent that I’ve been exploring is German new medicine, which really works on the energetics of the body.

And it’s been put together by a German doctor who saw thousands of patients kind of like Marie Louise Hay, where she was kind of noticing the patterns. And he was looking at The physical ailment. He was doing CT scans and looking at the areas of the brain that were lighting

Up and then looking at the emotional traumas and connecting all of them. And it’s this fascinating area of medicine that really puts the responsibility back on us to pay attention to learn how to read our body. But for me, the reason why it’s so important is because we tend

To be very logical and we try and logic our way through things. And then we go see a doctor and we try and explain to them how we’re feeling, but no one can really know how you’re feeling. But you. And it becomes an incredibly powerful tool because your body, while it

Is your body, it’s still kind of an external marker for you, like you can still look at it, like you can look in the mirror and see, am I dehydrated? Like, where did these dark circles come from? Why is my tongue a weird shade of white?

We can tell if we’re gaining weight, if we’re losing weight, like this is the self honesty part. Like, can we really look at ourselves with a critical eye, a compassionate eye, but a critical eye to really take stock of our physical being to

See what it is showing us, because it is the roadmap into our soul. It’s the roadmap into our being, and we can start to unlayer the physical manifestation of our emotional pain. And there’s. So many amazing resources on the market now.

One of the early books that I read was the body keeps score by Bessel van der Kolk. It’s a very dense read it’s quite dense, but, if you can get through it or even just get through parts of it can really start to unlock some awareness.

You mentioned the Louise Hayes book, which I haven’t read, but it makes complete sense to me. And another book that I read early on that. Made quite an impact on me. It’s called. It didn’t start with you and it’s about inherited family trauma and it’s by Mark Wollin.

And he does family constantly constellation work, but he really gets into the pathology of language and how language patterning gets passed down through the family and how our patterns of language can actually map into trauma and then how that trauma physically manifests in the body.

So there’s a few different ways that we can really start to pay attention. And start to kind of be the own explorer of our body and find our way into various realms of healing that we may not find if we outsource that to someone else. Yes, this is fascinating.

Let’s just unpack more of this because there’s so many different parts to Nicole. Let’s talk about intuition. You know, you were talking about discerning the, that intuitive side that we have When logic gets in, you know, like what are some tips of how

We can tap into our intuition and then we can go deeper into that honesty with ourselves because I think they’re both link, you know, the intuition with the being that compassionate, critic, but being honest with ourselves, but I’d love to hear your perspective on intuition.

I think it’s such an important higher faculty of ours that sometimes gets neglected because we override it with logic. So what’s, what’s your take on intuition, please? Well, it’s been an interesting journey into intuition because it is something that we’re all born with.

We are born with a very strong intuition and it’s the conditioning of the world that Kind of beats it out of us to a certain extent. And as you said, the logical mind begins to really override it. And I was an incredibly intuitive kid.

And I think a lot of people can probably relate to this where you just get that gut feeling, or you get the truth bumps, or something happens where you’re like, that doesn’t feel right. But we’re surrounded by people, places, things, structure, systems.

That’s tell us and teach us to override those feelings on a regular basis. This is how we’re taught to self betray. And it’s an incredibly codependent model, but. It’s we have to give ourselves space and grace around it because it is something

That we’ve been conditioned out of and now need to be deconditioned back into. So for me, intuition is that little voice like when you think that you’re talking to yourself, you know, we walk around talking to ourself all the time. Well, at least I do.

But it’s like that person you’re having a conversation with, for me, like, that’s my intuition. That’s my higher self. That is the thing that knows better than I do. And I’m either working in opposition to it or I’m saying, let’s flow, let’s go.

But I really learned how to do that through these intuitive development classes that I was taking. And they randomly popped up in the algorithm on my Instagram at the time. And it was just this little class in my neighborhood and we would sit

There were 10 ladies, we would sit around a table, we would learn how to go into a meditative state together. And then we just started practicing, reading each other’s energy. And one of the things that we did was called psychometry, where everyone

Would bring in an item and we’d put it in a box and we’d take it and we’d hold it, and then you would just sit there. And it wasn’t about clearing your mind and stilling the mind, it was observing the mind. So what was coming up for you during that time?

What physical sensations were you feeling? What thoughts, colors, words, anything that popped up, you wrote it down. And then we would sit there and we would have to describe what came up for us. And then usually the person whose item we had would be like, Oh, that’s mine.

And they would then go into a story to let us know what it was that we were picking up. And it was through that process that I started learning how you pick up. And from an energetic standpoint, how we absorb what’s happening around us and that our intuition.

Is so much stronger than we could ever possibly know, and those inputs are always coming into us all of the time, and we just think it’s ours. We don’t actually realize the power of the information that we are absorbing on a regular basis.

So intuition for me, it was through that process of being able to discern what was mine and what was someone else’s that I actually learned how to start trusting it. Because up until that point, as I said as a child, it gets overwritten. We’re usually told through the systems and structures of the

World not to trust how we feel. So when I started learning what was mine, what wasn’t mine, I was able to start trusting that a little bit more and then using it as a guidepost to feel my way through the world instead of logic my way, which is incredibly hard

Because I’m very mercurial, very logical. And that’s been a really interesting journey, learning how to kind of bridge the logic and the intuition. Fascinating. I just find this whole subject so fascinating, Nicole. I knew this was going to happen with the podcast, you know, with

This particular episode, but, cause I love the subject of intuition. I am very logical too. And so there’s two questions and see where you want to answer first. The first one is how can we start discerning what’s. Our intuition versus things that we’re picking up from around us, especially for

Those of us that can be very empathetic. Like we’re picking up other people’s energy. And sometimes I’m not sure, like, am I discerning, you know, like this, like what you’re saying with the exercises of the psychometry. I’ve practiced that in many different, workshops and classes.

And it’s Fascinating because you start realizing how intuitive we are and how much we can really pick up. So my first question is how to discern that. And the second one coming from a perspective of a mom that has a child, that’s very intuitive. My daughter is very intuitive.

She’s at an age that she’s 10 that I don’t want to beat that out of her. I don’t want her. Sometimes I second guess myself. With her, you know, like, I feel like my logic overrides her intuition, and

Then I’m like, Why didn’t I listen to her or oh, I’m so glad I listened to her so and I can go into a story with her. It was last year. I think it was she didn’t want to go to school. It was messing my whole day.

If she stayed home because there were things to do, my husband and I work from home and it was kind of like, we tend to give her like a hall pass once a quarter, you know, like, okay, if you need a mental day, you’re not feeling it, you’re

Too tired, whatever it is so that she doesn’t get used to, like, she can leave, not go to school whenever she wants. So we kept going back and forth. She was giving me all her reasons why she didn’t want to go that day.

And I finally like, I gave in, you know, I was like, you know what? It’s fine. At 1 p. m. that day, we got an email that the school was in lockdown because there was some type of fugitive on the loose right near their school.

And the police, like there was this huge accident on the highway and they couldn’t find the guy. So the parents at the school could not, luckily nothing happened. You know, like it was just the scare. But parents couldn’t pick up the kids from school until like 7 or 8 p. m.

At night, you know, like it was just, everything got blocked off. There’s no other entrances. I was so thankful first to her for listening to her intuition because maybe she couldn’t speak in words exactly what was going on. But I was also thankful to myself.

To not override it with the logic of, but I have work and I have to do this and I did that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, and all the reasons why she should go to work to school and do this.

So, I want more tools Nicole or more ideas, if you can give me because I guess like that with as a parent, you don’t want to. Take that away from your children to listen to their intuition and to their

Gut feelings and to be able to share it with you too, instead of like, yes, use your logic, but let’s talk, especially because they’re so young that there’s a lot of things that the logic hasn’t been developed yet. So I think it’s very important that we listen to our children’s intuition anyway.

I diverted with there, but I just wanted to share that story because I thought it was so powerful. It always reminded me of that. So going back to how can we support our kids more with their intuition? And then how can we discern the intuition, you know, like what’s ours, what belongs

To us and it’s our intuition and what’s. Stuff that we’re picking up from the ether. Yeah. That’s a powerful example. And we hear that often, usually when there’s natural disasters, people would be like, Oh, I just didn’t get on the plane.

Or I just, you know, I canceled at the last moment and that those are the intuitive nudges and we don’t always know why. They happen. And I think when it comes to supporting Children, it’s kind of a twofold answer.

And it goes back to the initial question is we can’t really support them unless we’re supporting ourselves first, right? It becomes a natural byproduct. We learn how to trust and honor their intuitive nudges when we know how to do that for ourselves. It just happens naturally.

And to hear your intuition, you have to get quiet. You have to make space to actually hear it, because sometimes it only comes in as a whisper, and it only comes once. So it’s really being mindful of how much we’re taking in.

Day to day, how much information are we cramming into our environment, whether it’s active or passive, right? For a long time, I was that person that was like, I always just need to have noise on. So I always had to have a radio on or I always had to have music on.

And I always had noise kind of happening in the background in one way, shape, or form. When I was going through this time of rest and digest, I would sit in silence for like eight or nine hours. Now it’s still moving around and doing things, but I didn’t feel the need

To have something on all the time. And I was getting really clear, and observing kind of the thoughts that were happening in my head. And I know that this is just not possible for A lot of people, unfortunately, we

Don’t live in a world that can go silent on a regular basis, especially if you have family, if you have children and you have other people that are kind of pulling at you throughout the day. But finding those pockets to be able to have silence and stillness is so important, even if it’s.

When you’re laying in bed, going, like, at night, are you watching TV? Are you scrolling on your phone? Like, stop doing that. Don’t do that. Try and find those times to find the silence. When you’re in the shower in the morning or when you’re getting ready,

Can you do that in a silent space and truly just go, Oh, it’s interesting. When something pops into your mind, like, can you actually start to pay attention and observe? What you’re thinking, because often we have thoughts running through our head all the time and we’re getting the physiological response.

So we’re thinking things that are either putting us in fear, fight, flight, fawn, sometimes joy, sometimes moments of, Aesthetic joy, but more times than not, we’re usually thinking something that is creating a physiological response that activates our nervous system. So can we start paying attention to that?

Because it can be really hard to tap into the intuition if we’re also doing it through a lens of fear. And fear doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s like imminent danger. Fear taps at our core wounds, like our core wounds of self worth and abandonment and lack and loss of love.

So we have to start getting really clear and taking these assessments of our thoughts. And as we begin to observe our thoughts, for me, the intuition starts to appear. So as you start to, you know, if you’re going through your day and you’re thinking

Of all the shits that you have to do and, I can’t do this because I have to do this, you start seeing where perhaps you might be self betraying, where you start depriving yourself of time alone in order to be able to get still.

So if your first thought when you hear this is, I don’t have time to be silent, get curious about that. That is a huge red flag for you to go, why do I think I don’t have time? Why do I think I don’t deserve this?

And it allows us to start kind of digging into that honesty that allows us to start unlocking these areas of our psyche that can give us the glimpses into those intuitive nudges, because typically behind the shoulds are. The wants and the desires and the dreams that we ignore, and I know that’s a

Huge part of your work is how do you really kind of tap into that potential and, and those things that are living inside of us that are just waiting to be birthed into being, and a lot of that comes through the intuition and through

Getting really honest about why we do what we do and why we think what we think. And that’s not a natural response. It’s not kind of a natural, space for a lot of people to enter into. Like, why would I question my own thoughts? Why am I going to start to do that?

But in one way or another, we’re always ruminating on something. So we’re either ruminating on the shoulds and the have tos and the need tos, or we can ruminate on the, well, why do I think I have to? Why do I think I should? Why do I think I need to?

And start reframing that to allow the greater answer to start to reveal itself. And for me, that answer is the intuitive. Response coming through. That’s great. And yes, I agree with you. 100%. We’re so bombarded with information on a daily basis.

And so it gets hard to find those pockets of quietness, but we can find them, you know, and I think we need to make an effort for those, you know, just Okay, let me journal. Let me just, because why don’t we get the intuitive hits in the

Shower or when you’re taking a bath? Because you’re still, you’re still, you’re not busy. You’re not busying that mind, but what do you do once you get the intuitive hit? Like you, so you’re questioning it, you’re asking why, you know, if it’s a fear or something like that, but what’s your next step?

What do you do with your intuitive hits? Depends on the intuitive hit. It depends if it hurts, right? Sometimes it reveals a truth that hurts. And I have to figure out, do I want to investigate and explore this now? Or do I need to push this aside for a little bit?

Because just because we have the awareness doesn’t mean we’re ready to deal with it. And there’s been plenty of times where truths have been revealed to me through my intuition and I’m like, I don’t want to look at that right now. I’m going to push this over here.

So we have to really kind of sink into this is where the honesty part comes in and really kind of sink into what is this revealing to me and what is the greater impact that it’s having. Whether I ignore it or whether I want to lean into it.

So something minor we could be using with well, not minor, but if we want to look at. Nutrition and fitness goals, for example. I always struggled with my weight and I thought it was my genetics and I always blamed my genetics, but I wasn’t paying attention to how many

Times I would get up and cross the floor and open the fridge and snack. So I had to start getting really clear on how often I was doing that and why I was doing that. And then I had to determine at that point, am I going to continue to do

Something that is ultimately self harming? Or am I going to take responsibility for it and then start making those micro adjustments that need to be made over time to start correcting these behaviors? So, for me, following through on the intuition, it could be, as

You said, it could be journaling so you can look for patterns. It could be finding ways to start moving your body because you’re being alerted to the fact that you have tension and stress and it needs to get moved out. We don’t emphasize enough the importance of movement, so

Emotions get locked in the body. We can’t logic them out of the body, we have to move them out of the body. So that can be through going for walks, it can be through, looking up a breathing routine. And this is where the beauty of YouTube is.

And the internet is wonderful because your stream of consciousness can go into a search bar and it’s going to return back to you something that makes sense. So if you want to look up like a breathing exercise or a small workout

Routine that you can do or a yoga exercise, or maybe you’re really curious about sound healing because vibration moves clogs through the body, or perhaps you want to look into various forms of somatic healing, which is. The moving of emotions through the body that can start to become a really powerful

Tool to deepen those intuitive responses, because when your body is saying, I need this, and then you show up and you give it to it, you build trust, and you might not realize you’re building trust, but you are, and it’s that trust that we build

Over time with ourselves that moves the needle and can propel us So far in our lives and in our healing and into the depths of our potential and potential that we didn’t even know that we had. But I think it’s really important to note, I said micro adjustments earlier,

We’re not talking about diving into like a workout routine four days a week and then changing your nutrition and, and doing all of the things. Sometimes it’s as simple as, I’m going to have a glass of water when I wake up before I have my coffee. And we have to start with that.

So it’s giving ourselves the space and grace to allow the tiny little changes to build up over time as well so that we can build the loyalty and the trust within to maintain it and, begin to trust it. I love that you’re saying about these micro adjustments.

Because that’s so much easier to kind of take it in than this whole idea that I have to change my life now with everything. What are some of your habits or your micro adjustments that have turned into habits? To just kind of connect with your body, mind, and soul with your intuition.

What are some of those micro movements that have been or micro adjustments that you’ve put in place that have now turned them to habits that our listeners could use? Sure. So there’s a few, so one comes to journaling. It’s not intuitive for me to do it every day.

Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. But there was a time and place where I did need to do it every day and it was incredibly helpful. But what can happen when we build a new habit sometimes is we think that we have to maintain it forever.

And so part of the micro adjustment with that, this is going to be like a counterintuitive micro adjustment. But I had to give myself the permission to go, I’m going to do this when this feels right. Instead of forcing myself to do it every day.

And what I found specifically through my own creative cycles is that I don’t necessarily write every day and it’s not always helpful for me to do that. But what I was able to do was to start paying attention to the patterns of when

I was doing it versus when I wasn’t, and then look at the patterns of perhaps what I was writing about and what I was. Channeling or potentially, trying to process during those times. And I started noticing patterns that kind of went with sometimes with the moon cycles.

Sometimes it was with my own personal cycle. Sometimes it was with, certain emotional patterns that were starting to circulate. So in Able in giving myself the ability to kind of micro adjust out of doing it every single day to doing when it felt right.

I was able to start finding little patterns to be able to start adjusting and really lasering in on things that needed my attention and things that perhaps may have gone under the surface and I may not have caught if I was doing it every single

Day because there would have been just a volume that I might not have been able to get through when I was doing my reviews. Another thing when it comes to fitness, so I never started working out regularly and really paying attention to my physical fitness until I was 35.

So it took me a while to get to that point. And what I noticed was that Okay, sometimes I was just getting down to the gym, sometimes it was just a matter of getting into the gym and working through a lot of the mental chatter and the imposter syndrome and, paying attention

To the fears that were bubbling up for me that were preventing me from going in there and really showing up for myself. So, easing into that gently being able to slowly move myself into that and not tackling my nutrition at the same time.

So I was giving myself the permission to move into it slowly and then allowing the progress that I was making in the gym over time to start naturally feeding into my nutrition and allowing my nutrition to evolve. That was incredibly helpful instead of piling the expectation of radical

Change onto myself all at once. And then some of the micro adjustments I’m doing now actually have to do with like just basic skincare routines and being able to really pay attention to. How I’m caring for myself at the end of the day, so I’m slowly adding in a

New thing to my evening routine every couple of weeks instead of trying to do it all at once so that it’s I’m building up to maybe like a 20 minute routine instead of just trying to inject that into my life right away. So, building blocks.

It creates a much sturdier foundation than just, trying to pile a bunch of rubble and hope it doesn’t fall over. I love that. That’s so perfect. You know, just doing those building blocks because not everyone’s cut out

To be able to just quit and do and start new things and do 20 habits at once, you know, like it just ends up. And it perpetuates shame cycles too, right? Because when we fail to do something, then we end up falling into like a.

Usually self punishing and we punish ourselves for failing to meet these goals that were kind of unrealistic in the beginning And it perpetuates a shame cycle as well that puts us into self betrayal and it’s harmful. So a huge huge advocate for tiny micro adjustments I love that.

And it’s the little micro adjustments and I love how you have that level of awareness to have just kind of like, Oh, well, let me analyze it. And what’s that doing and what are the patterns I want instead of just like, Oh, I’m going to change.

I’m going to have, you know, this new habit and that’s it. And we leave it to just like the mechanics of the habit. But what I’m observing with you, Nicole, is that you’re very good at like pausing, analyzing, looking at the patterns, seeing if it’s serving you or not, which takes

Us back to this whole idea of honesty. And it takes a lot of courage to be honest with ourselves. So let’s. Take it there. You know, how did you become courageous enough to become honest with yourself, with your situation and how can our listeners start doing that for themselves too?

Well, I didn’t have any other choice really when I was in this season of burnout and I was pointing the finger at everyone and everything else, not realizing that when you point the finger, you have three pointing back. I had this moment of reckoning and again, I think this must have been my

Intuition coming in, but I remember I was getting ready one morning I was staring in the mirror and I was looking at myself and just the phrase, you’re the only common denominator of your life popped into my head. And I was like, Oh, no, because when you realize that you are the only

Common denominator of your life that you are the only constant that shows up in every single situation that arises. In your creative reality that gets heavy and it becomes really hard when you start noticing cycles that repeat in your life, good or bad, right? Because it can be good as well.

But when these cycles are constantly repeating, it’s because you are the common denominator in there. It’s not the other external factors. So, that was like my first initial, no, I’m going to have to get really honest with myself and really critically look at how I am constantly showing up.

Am I showing up as my best self? What are some of the things that I’ve done in my life that I hope no one ever finds out about? What are the chapters of my story I hope no one ever reads? And really sitting in those and really…

Moving through them with compassion, understanding that we all like, Okay, if I’m not the same person that I was a couple years ago, I can change. And if I can change, other people can change. There’s a capacity in there that needs to be acknowledged kind of through

A lens of compassion, that when you know better, you can do better. And we have to give ourselves that grace, first and foremost, that we can never extend that to someone else if we’re not doing it for ourselves. So that layer of honesty, it comes in layers, right? It’s on a spectrum.

Like, sometimes it’s just, oh, I shouldn’t have had that chocolate bar, and then other times it’s much deeper than that. And what that also starts to reveal is when you can start seeing patterns in your immediate present circumstances, you can then start to observe perhaps how those patterns have showed up.

Over the course of your life. And this is where that book, It Didn’t Start With You, became really important for me because I’m like, oh, these patterns, they go back to my childhood. Oh. Oh, my mom does this too. Oh, my grandmother did this too. This is really interesting.

And then you start to learn how we’ve been conditioned in some of the responses that we have, which then can give you permission to kind of go Okay, it’s not just mine, but it can stop with me. I’m not gonna play the blame game. I’m gonna accept my role and responsibility in it.

That’s the acceptance part, because it doesn’t serve anyone to blame and point the fingers. I can find my own inner peace the moment I recognize it, own it, accept it. And then begin to heal from it. So it became this really interesting exercise in clearing generational trauma as well.

Through being able to take the same ruminating thoughts that I would have had before that led to my anxiety and depression and stress that I had in my job, and actually put it to use in a more constructive way, where instead of analyzing all of the bad doom and gloom that was happening,

I was starting to question the why behind my response to everything. This is fascinating. This is fascinating. Well let us know where can the listeners find you, Nicole? Yeah. The best place to find me is at my website, which is NicoleConnor. com. C O N N O R dot com.

And from there you can access the Grand Rising Experience, which is my blog where I sit down with, beautiful men and women all over the world. And we have conversations about. What it means to dig into the self accountability and self responsibility that we need to truly heal.

And I have a membership called the portal that I am bringing together. What I like to call the wild unicorns, these healers of the world with the people that are seeking their, their knowledge and their clarity and their wisdom.

And from there, we’re going to be moving into a series of summits, both online and virtual that people can attend to be able to move into these deeper aspects of self and, and really step into an enclaim. The truth of who they are through a radically honest lens.

It hurts, but it’s worth it. I promise. That’s great. I should put you on contact. One of the earlier podcasters that I have, a podcast guest, Jessa de la Morena, she started an app called you are the hero. I think that’s the name of the app.

I have to go back to the podcast, but it’s similar, you know, where both of you ladies could join forces and, You know, healing and talking about the healing aspect. She comes from the perspective of, overcoming a breast cancer that she had. And I don’t think it was breast cancer.

I take that back. It was a different type of cancer, but it was nonetheless a cancer diagnosis. And she ended up doing alternative things. And so she put this app together so that people could talk about their healing experiences. So it’s a little bit different, but.

I think there’s things that might overlap that would be great to connect both of you. This is great, Nicole. I so appreciate your time being here. And as I’m wrapping up, I always like asking my guest, what’s one piece of

Advice that you could give our listeners to live a life with more courage. Trust your intuition. It sounds almost impossible, but, or a little corny sometimes, but courage. Is learning how to trust your intuition, how to tune out the rest

Of the world and tune into those higher aspects of self that only want to love you and encourage you and move you into your highest potential. So, yeah. Thank you so much. Thanks for your time. Thanks for being with us today. Thank you. I loved being here.

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