Nollaig Na mBan is the “greatest load of cobblers!”
Terry Prone explains why she thinks Irish women should not celebrate Nollaig Na mBan.
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00:00 | Nollaig Na Mban
00:37 | Load Of Cobblers
02:52 | Is It Outdated?
03:33 | Time To Celebrate Women
04:03 | Reclaim Nollaig Na mBan
05:06 | Tokenism?
06:01 | Taking On Too Much
07:22 | Going On Shrike
08:54 | Conclusion
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Now yes today is no Naman which traditionally is the day that women get to enjoy themselves after working so hard over the Christmas period now traditionally roles were supposed to be res reversed in the home meaning that men did the women’s work in the house while women rested and gathered together
Informally so is it a tradition we should celebrate or one we should add to the history books Communications expert Cherry prone and author Caroline Grace are here to discuss and I’m sorry I’m so K with this is like I can’t even speak because you know we we we’ve been on on
Panels before together but now Terry I am almost afraid to go to you with this one cuz I have a fair notion what you think of no you think that I have a reverence for traditions that because I am old I really like stuff and like you’re wrong no n man is shock
Surprise greatest load of cobblers I mean the this notion first of all I never heard of n n man until I went to school it wasn’t a thing at all and then when I went home and said at home this thing is that my M gets time over my mother looked at me
With such Frozen contempt on the basis that was I seriously suggesting that my father would be relied on to cook food on that day clean clothes on that day and disassemble the crib without ending up with one of the Kings having a broken nose and the baby Jesus losing his
Naping I mean there was no way she would even consider it for a moment so your mother was a bit of a control freak and wouldn’t let him do anything she was certainly a controlled freak but also if you look at Nan and I can’t believe that Carolyn
Wouldn’t agree with me on this if you look at the Traditions they speak to a time when women had so little to do other than slavery I mean this stuff of that you got this mud pie I mean who is making mud pies and put candles in it and say
Okay that’s shiva’s candle that’s a Lan’s candle that’s a and that then you’d see which one burnt down quickest to see who was going to Snuff it the following year I mean it is the grimmest most awful we do isn’t it yeah yeah yeah some of them were mad though there’s
Another one they had I was reading there as well after that one where at midnight all the wells turned to wine but nobody was allowed go out to see I mean imagine that in this day that’s the kind of I tell you can get behind now
Because I think some the this day and age no Nan seems more like a book club and most book clubs I know they use it as an excuse to meet up and drink wine and don’t never read a book so that would be your kind of n n mon Caroline
That would be mine exactly I mean I do agree with you of course that you know there’s so much of it was I go back to my granny who I mean held all the pur strings when her husband came back you know with his W it was taken immediately
Cuz he’d spend it in the pop my granny gave birth at home because she was expecting a check and she knew that if the check came while she was in the redunda lar would lar would spend it so you know that was it so but I do
Remember we a woman moved in my granny fromand and a woman moved in from tmore and she kind of was telling my granny about this so after watch it this is actually a very good idea so her and Nanny her best friend they’d go into town sandwiches in the bag you know and
But it was kind of a freedom for them that they could do that cuz they never kind of felt that they were able to do that before but I mean look I just think now I think obviously if it we use it as a day to celebrate women and to
Celebrate you know like I kind of try to say to my girls today stories about their Granny’s or stories about you know important women in Irish history because I don’t I don’t get to talk about it enough so for me that’s kind of what I’m
Going to kind of going to say to them going forward plus we all know that uh your husband does all the C cleaning in your house anyway so un fairness today it be no different I was just there putting on put on the lipstick and he’s trying take down the Christmas tree drag
It drag it to the house I think it’s it’s something that we have the opportunity to reclaim as women you know we can reclaim it make it what we want shouldn’t we be encouraging women to maybe gather together on one day because I know there’s International women’s day
But that’s gone very corporate now whereas n Leon it’s an old Irish tradition that we can kind of give our own meaning to should we be encouraging you younger women to celebrate you’re saying that elain’s approach of let’s get together and drink wine well I wouldn’t be opposed to it now Terry no
It’s just excuse and is that necessarily a bad ter that’s what ask no I told me and me take the wine out of it and what have you got left there’s a lot of women that I mean I don’t drink but there’s a lot of women that I don’t want
To be around unless they’re drinking sorry that’s got to be the catchline we we had we had Richard Hogan on earlier who said that women say yes to everything so I think it’s that we would take the opportunity to say met what kind of person are we talking
About I mean most of us grew up with women our parents our mothers very often our aunts who never said yes to anything who complained night noon and morning and had no rights and no careers but that’s what I’m saying and that in today you know that translates to women taking
On more of the emotional labor more of the housework and all this stuff so they yes to they say yes to everything else and they accommodate everyone else they’re like whereas this is a day where they could do just things for themselves but that’s tokenism I mean let’s be
Clear any woman out there who says yes to everything who takes on the emotional load who takes on the physical load what we should be saying to that woman is hold on a second get a grip you’re an equal citizen maybe it’s time you said no do you know something I’m not going
To do this anymore and not just for one day but there is suppos a point in that Caroline because like it or not we’re looking at Society at the moment and it’s still the same old say one you’re looking at the burden of child care you’re looking at which largely falls on
Women like if your kids are sick in school who do they ring first yeah they’re not ringing your husband they’re ringing you um and that’s something ingrained that hasn’t changed so well I and I suppose you know if we’re talking about what women have taken on coming
From you know 50 60 70 to today like I mean are lives are horrendously busy you know there’s just so much you’re right there’s so much to do and as brilliant as my husband is personally there’s still all the WhatsApp groups are are you know are to me or all the dancing
Stuff and there’s just a lot I think kids are way more demanding than they were I mean my mother never drove so we just you had to cycle school that was it there was no extracurricular activities you know unless you were just going on the road to play so there is an awful
Lot I think for women to take on and you’re trying to work full-time and you’re trying to you’re trying to be it for everybody and it’s very difficult you know it is it’s very draining and it can really get on top of women you know and I think January is the time
Regardless of today’s day but to kind of just say Okay this year I may have to pass off some of these things and I may not be able to say yes to everything like you’re saying and yes it is difficult and I do think that women do
Take the majority of child care and working and all that on their on their shoulders yeah I suppose to implement societal change you know you can I don’t know go on strike and isn’t that a little bit of what nnan is ter I I’m the daughter of a trade
Unionist so you’re hitting a raw spot here I know that a one day strike is not worth the 24 hours you devote to it needs to be longer and it needs also to stop every assumption I mean this notion that the teachers would ring the mother
Not the father why when my son was in school not that he ever had anything wrong with him he was perfect you all know they didn’t need to ring but if they had it was Tom’s number they had not mine that’s cuz you probably terrified them
On us they wouldn’t dare pick up the phone but but I can see that even in in uh my friends who like they would be the bread winner in their families and they have a much more successful job than their partners and they’re still getting the col I can’t leave my ex doctor
Surgery I’m a surgeon I’m a I’m in the middle of Court one of them was actually a lawyer and her husband was sitting at home and she still got the call it’s nuts that still happen nuts right can we all make a resolution that we’re going to collectively change that this year
For the women of Ireland yes well I don’t think the four of us will manage that now but we can find you think no no you need to have big dreams elain I do I do yes you need to be idealistic to make your Ideal World sweet dreams are a
Beautiful nightmare which which knows will happen in in the next 12 months but you so by and large you like the tradition I just like celebrating women I suppose yeah of course you know there some of the those old traditions are crazy and so outdated but I just I do
Love the fact you know I have so much love for all my friends and if it gives me an excuse to get together with them when I shouldn’t need an excuse I know I’m all in support of that yeah Terry thinks it’s a load of all you know there
You go thank you both so much for joining us on the show this morning