Did I Get A “Shut Up Ring”?

Surprise!!! I’m so excited to share the news of my engagement with you guys! On the topic of engagements, have y’all heard of “shut up rings”?

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Welcome back to the comments section I’m Brett Cooper um I have some news I guess I felt so nervous sitting down to record this and I don’t know why I guess it’s just because I’ve never talked about this before but you might have seen it on my Instagram earlier today but I’m

Engaged um so like I said there we are just full of surprises this week which is very fun but I feel a little bit awkward right now I think like I said because I’ve just never spoken about this at all and that has been intentional like if you guys have

Followed me for a while if you’ve watched the show from the beginning then you probably remember that early on I said that if there was going to be one thing I would keep private it would be my dating life I wanted to keep that super close to my chest I never wanted

To feel like I was putting on a show for people like oh here’s one boyfriend and then here’s another one maybe I’m dating this I just had no idea how it was going to turn out I just moved to a new city I was suddenly a very public figure that

Sounded terrifying to be dating while also being a public person especially considering how you know personal that is and how serious I take that so so I am very very grateful that you guys have respected my wishes and respected the fact that I never talked about it

Because I know that there were questions and speculations I’ve seen the comments I’m aware so I’m very very grateful that you have respected that my fiance that’s so weird saying that he has no interest in being in the Limelight which is one of the reasons

Why I love him um so he will continue being private and I’m going ahead and setting that boundary now he does not wish to be seen doesn’t need to be talked about at all so I’m just going to stop that right after I you know make this little announcement in the video

But this is obviously a huge and very exciting change in my life so I wanted to share it with you guys because you’re very important to me we’ve created this community I wanted to be transparent and also it’s just really fun and I’m very very happy and I wanted to share it with

You guys what I will tell you about him is that he is the most incredible and kind and Brilliant and resilient man I’ve ever met I could not be more lucky and blessed to have met him and fallen in love with him I literally pinched myself every day I feel like the

Luckiest person in the world he’s based of course you don’t even have to ask we share the same values and one of my favorite things about him that I want to share is that he challenges me and he pushes me every single day which is something that I’ve publicly talked

About wanting and finding very important my mom always told me that I should be looking for an intellectual sparring partner to help keep me on my toes and I absolutely have found one so I’m very very happy about that because I never wanted to steamroll somebody and if you

Know my personality you know that that could be very very possible so I feel lucky in that regard as well it also feels just very meant to be and serendipitous because he grew up a few miles away from me I even used to hang out with his little sister when I was

Very very young he crossed paths with my brothers at some point but I never knew him until I moved to Nashville so in a lot of ways loving him Feels Like Coming Home it feels like my hometown so that’s just another reason why it’s so

Wonderful and why I’m so happy um so all of that to say I can’t I don’t know how many times I can say I’m happy but I’m very very happy and I’m happy to sh share it with you all and to share with this community and so yeah that’s the

News and speaking of engagements guys cuz this isn’t the entire episode there is a trend online that we must discuss it is called shut up rings and hopefully I was not given one before we dive into it though make sure that you like this video subscribe to this channel if you

Have not already and ring that notification Bell so that you never miss a comment section or off the clock episode so I first heard of this term a few weeks ago during the whole Sophie Turner Joe Jonas divorce debacle that was taking the Internet by storm and it

All started with this Tik Tok according to TMZ Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner are headed for divorce and I feel incredibly Vindicated I take no pleasure in anyone’s marriage breaking up but I remember a few weeks ago when I posted about how I thought based on the circumstances of their marriage you know

Multiple Year Engagement huge age Gap some of the treatment uh that he gave to her the fact he broke up with her right before their original wedding in Las Vegas the cheapness of the Las Vegas wedding etc etc that it was giving Shut Up Ring Vibes as I pointed out Nick met

And married prianka during Joe Jonas’s and Sophie Turner’s engagement that’s obviously Nick Jonas his brother of the Jonas Brothers married to prian Chopra I believe is her last name Ranna Jonas as of now anyway so you’ve already been together for years had a multiple Year Engagement Meanwhile your brother met

Courted and married his spouse in multiple events during your engagement how somebody who met years after you beat you to the altar it it’s it’s a mess it’s shameful I am glad to be Vindicated cuz people had every excuse in the world oh she was filming this

Season of Game of Thrones this happened that happened the third happened and that’s why they had to be engaged for years and oh they were playing the wedding in France and because they weren’t citizens blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Priyanka and Nick got married several times including in India

Also some context here that is important that I talked about in the divorce episode I did is that Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner dated for many years before getting engaged I think it was 5 years and then they had a 2-year Long Engagement and then prian and Nick they

Met you know and got married within two years they had huge weddings like she had a huge Indian wedding they had a huge you know La wedding and then Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas randomly I think it was after the Grammys one night it was very soon after prian and Nick I think

Did their first wedding they randomly showed up in Las Vegas after the Grammys with a ring pop and got married and everybody was like what just happed it was very weird it felt very rushed there was a lot of awkwardness around it some of the family wasn’t there nobody had

Any idea what was going on so when she’s talking about the rushed Ring Pop thing that is the context for you they’re both celebrities with plenty of money there were lots of ways to get that done snap to it but you all have to stop believing every excuse you hear the first thing

Ordinary people say when I say oh if it’s been years it’s a Shut Up Ring oh well what if they couldn’t afford to get married what if they’re saving up for a nice wedding what’s the excuse here so if someone who could snap their fingers and put together the most lavish

Celebration the world has seen with little or no effort isn’t doing it for years on end there’s something wrong with that and that’s basically the gist of all of this so if you did not get it through this video a shut up ring is basically a ring that A man gives a

Woman to shut her up because she’s been nagging him about getting married she wants to get married he’s not sure he just gives her a ring and then usually they have a pretty long engagement that you know wait for a while oh don’t know we’ll plan the wedding another time

Whatever maybe they get married maybe they don’t but that is a shut up rank that is the term we’re talking about and prior to this video I had no idea that they had a long engagement I really did not understand the context so I went down a rabbit hole with this girl

Cuz she made a few videos about it but now the random Al lopment in Vegas with ring pop it makes a lot more sense especially knowing how quickly PRI and Nick did everything compared to them somebody commented and said yep me and my ex were together for 10 years before

We got married and now divorced he’s getting married again to somebody he knew for 3 years and guys we did a whole episode about this as well and honestly that was one of my favorite episodes we have ever done I loved the comments under that episode it was about guys

Often marrying the next girl and doing so very very quickly after being in a long-term relationship that did not end in an engagement it’s great I had a lot of fun talking about it I think it’s very important anyway like I said this was the first time that I had heard

About this term I heard Shut Up Ring obviously I knew that this type of thing existed and happened but I didn’t know that there was a term for it but then immediately I was seeing it everywhere on Tik Tok and by this point I think that the tag shut upbring has over 10

Mill I views on the platform here’s another video for you guys ladies if you’ve been engaged for a certain amount of years and there’s no date set there’s no plan set there’s no anything set to get the ball rolling to say I do you’re wearing a shut up ring if you know

You’re putting a ring on a lady’s finger for so you can silence the noise Quiet the pressure yeah cuz the pressure is loud it gets heavy and you’re just trying to be like ra let me just slip it on yeah you know you’re giving her a

Shot Cup ring so it’s not just how you get the ring but it’s also what happens after the ring is on your finger and that’s very important now the other video I want to show you is actually from the original Creator who did that Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas video she

Also made this great one and she is stitching an advice video that somebody else did this one is just wild guys crazy I think this girl just needed to be validated is it stupid to stick around until my boyfriend is ready to marry me yes yes it is you all are

Constantly asking me how do I avoid the Shut Up Ring by reading the signs in the beginning this man is never going to marry her and we’re going to tick off the signs listen to what the boyfriend said been with my boyfriend for about 2 years and about a

Year ago I told him that I see him as someone I could marry and have kids with one day he straight away said that he wouldn’t be ready until we both earned x amount of money and had a house along with some other qualifications I’m ashamed as I know you’re not supposed to

Do this but I brought up how he had set all those conditions a year ago and we’ve achieved them today I earn more than he said and we have a house renting but still a lovely home he flipped out and said that it was never about these

Things and he just doesn’t know if he can marry me because of how I am as a person excuse me that should have been the end right there lady that should have been it how you are as a person run away run away like they do in Monty Python run

Away the first red flag was when she said she had been with this guy for 2 years and she had she had brought this up a year in if a man is excited about you as we all know the rule is men know right away true so if at 6 months in he

Is not the one who has advanced serious relationship talk if he has not introduced you to his mother or whoever is important in his life if he has not you know been talking about a serious Commitment if he has not let something slip about the future with you one day

He does not see you as his wife that may be hard to accept I’m sorry that it is but it’s the truth and the other thing is you may say oh my man didn’t do that but we still ended up getting married let’s check on the quality of that later

He wanted to give you you some crazy conditions so he could kick the can down the road still enjoy your company still be with you still get all the benefits it’s like that John melany line in one of his standup specials where he’s like why would a man buy the cow when he’s

Getting the milk for free what’s been happening for two years right there we don’t even need to watch the rest of this it’s a five minute long video she goes on and she takes off some more red flags but this is the perfect example of something that could easily turn into a

Shut up ring those are the Red Flags you run away you run away you I think that this girl is like the queen of the Shut Up Ring discourse now online like I said she has so many videos about it and they are all Jeff’s kiss very

Very funny but that whole advice video was just so rough you guys can go watch it in its entirety if you want that girl just needs to leave that man maybe go get a dog and then feed that dog Ruff greens you guys obviously know this but

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To wait go to freeer rffg greens.com bread or call 87766 my dog again that is free greens.com bre or call 87766 my dog today but back to that video thankfully I did not see a single person in the comments who was delusional enough to tell that girl that

She should stay one person said why is she even asking for advice after he said that she should have already hid open tuna cans in his car and ghosted him I actually saw a video about that recently where a woman I think her husband divorced her or left her for another

Woman and so she stuck fish in the vents like in the air conditioning and just left that like he had no idea in the house stunk anyway apparently that’s a common thing online I’m seeing somebody else said my husband said that he could see himself marrying me one month in men

Know right away and now guys I can publicly say I’ve been there and that commenter is not wrong anyway somebody else said at 6 months my ex told me he wasn’t sure about a future with me I immediately left good for you a year and change later I’m engaged to the love of

My life same pattern we’re seeing guys in the old episode in this episode it’s a pattern other person said people are scared to be alone and I think that really is the Crux of all of this but you will never meet a better person the right person if you do not break away

From those Dusty old relationships and open yourself up to something new do not let yourself be somebody’s placeholder and definitely do not treat somebody as your own placeholder that is completely wrong have some self resect have some respect for the other person this situation is not great for either party

Eevee magazine also wrote a great piece about this and there are some harsh truths in here whole episode is just harsh truths but they said if he proposes to you to get you to stop nagging him or without the intention of staying married to you for the rest of

His life he does not care for you in the way that you want him to and if you accept his proposal knowing or even suspecting that he is being insincere you might not care for yourself as much as you need to it’s not just about him

It’s also about you they go on and they said we all deserve a man who wants overwhelmingly so to marry us we should settle for nothing less in fact and it shouldn’t need to be said that even if you get a Shut Up Ring you don’t need to

Go through with it from a big picture perspective it is always preferable to give a ring back rather than spend thousands on a divorce attorney as a child of divorce I can say yes that is very expensive you do not want to go through that and obviously I think I

Need to say this you need to strike a balance between telling your partner what you want and then getting to this shut up ring point in the episode that I’ve been referencing that I did a couple months ago I talked about how women and men both should not put up

With being strung along but there’s a difference between telling somebody what you want upfront what you’re envisioning for your future and then ending it if you’re not on the same page and making your goals clear but then hanging on and begging for them to change their minds

For years on end to the point where the man just says f it and gives you a shut up ring it comes down to self-respect and not wasting your precious time and energy which are things that you can never get back never you can get money

Back you can buy new things you can get a new place to live you can never get your time and your energy back those should be your most valuable assets you should know what you want you should be clear about it but if you’re dating intentionally and you’re dating for

Marriage you also have to know when to let go and move on to somebody who is on the same page as you in the Jonas Brothers world you want to be prianka and Nick not Sophie and Joe thank you for watching the comment section if you want to see more videos

Just like this make sure to subscribe to this channel turn on your notifications like this video and of course if you want even more content you can follow me on Instagram and Twitter at I’m Brett Cooper see you next time