Tickets for Have A Word Live shows as well as Adam and Dan’s tours and previews:
Have A Word Live | https://haveawordlive.com
Dan’s Tour | http://dannightingale.com
Adam’s Tour | https://adamrowe.co.uk
Dan’s Previews | https://danspreviews.com
Comedian’s Club Chester: https://www.comediansclubchester.com
As Adam and Dan said, don’t miss out on all of our extra content, we’ve got one of the best value Patreons in the game. An extra 90+ minute episode every week plus loads of bonus content such as the now infamous Lockdown Lock-ins, Sensei Carl’s Big Fat Quiz and our Ghost Hunts! What are you waiting for? Sign up now at https://patreon.com/haveawordpod
Get subscribed to Have A Word Highlights: https://youtube.com/haveawordhighlights
Finn’s new single “I Think I Do” is out now: https://linktr.ee/finnlayk
Thanks to our sponsors:
Supreme CBD | https://supremecbd.uk
Stress less and sleep better with Supreme CBD using code WORD40 at checkout to get 40% off sitewide
Füm | https://tryfum.co.uk
Head to tryfum.com/HAVEAWORD and use code HAVEAWORD to save an additional 10% off your order today.
Lovehoney | https://lovehoney.co/word_youtube
Love how you love and take 20% off sitewide to unlock sexual happiness and discover a happier you with promo code: WORD20
Manscaped | https://manscaped.com
20% off with promo code: WORD20
BetterHelp | https://betterhelp.com/word10
Get 10% off your first month!
NordVPN | https://nordvpn.com/haveaword
Grab your EXCLUSIVE NordVPN Deal by going to nordvpn.com/haveaword. Get 4 bonus months when you purchase a 2 year plan. It’s completely risk free with Nord’s 30 day money-back guarantee!
Sneak Energy | https://affiliates.sneakenergy.com/s/have.a.word.podcast
Fuel different, drink Sneak.
Become one of the lids:
https://patreon.com/haveawordpod
Tickets:
https://haveawordlive.com
Merch:
https://haveawordpod.com
Find us everywhere:
https://haveaword.page
Discord:
https://discord.gg/haveawordpod
Follow the podcast, our hosts and our guest on social media:
Have A Word
https://facebook.com/haveawordpod
Tweets by Haveawordpod
https://instagram.com/haveawordpod
Adam Rowe
https://facebook.com/adamrowecomedian
Tweets by adamrowecomedy
https://instagram.com/adamrowecomedian
Dan Nightingale
https://facebook.com/danhasapodcast
Tweets by DanHasAPodcast
https://instagram.com/danhasapodcast
Mark Normand
Tweets by marknorm
https://instagram.com/marknormand
ADAM ROWE and DAN NIGHTINGALE are two award winning comedians from Liverpool & Preston, respectively. They are two of the UK’s most highly regarded stand-ups and have both performed all over the world.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen welcome to haveawed the podcast the greatest podcast on the planet pound for pound that is official okay first of all before we start with our usual Spiel do us a favor if you’re watching this on YouTube hit that subscribe button and hit that Bell we’re
Closing in slowly on the 100K that gives a nice plaque so do that for us okay now listen not only are we just the best group of lads on planet Earth me and this fella we’re comedians stand-up comedians and we’re on two separate tours at the minute I’m doing my tour
Dan’s doing his tour Dan’s going all over the UK as Are my tickets for Dan at Dan nightingale.com loads of shows order these all those tickets for me adamroe.com come and see both of us separately two of the best hours of stand up you’ll see this year and I
Don’t mind bragging about it I’m on fire at the minute mate I’m burning gas to the ground and so is he as he’s been doing for 20 years and you’ll know that if you’ve been a fan of this podcast for a while especially if you’re a patreon
And if you’re not a patreon what are you waiting for Dan tell them what they’re missing oh you’ve got to sign up it’s one of the biggest patrons in the world the biggest Patron in the UK for a reason we put out an extra episode of Patron exclusive every Wednesday an hour
An hour and 20 minutes of unfiltered have a word [ __ ] also the early release video of the public episode you’ve been enjoying it on a Monday you will get it on a Saturday occasionally you get it on a Sunday but it’s normally on a Saturday but on top of that on top
Of that extra weekly episode you get a patreon special every single month and on top of the ones that are upcoming you get the entire back catalog the roast of Adam and Dan we went to Amsterdam the three-part Nashville special every locking we’ve done in here two ghost
Stunts the barber special coming up this month you don’t know what you’re missing I was on three quid a month is absurd for the amount of stuff you get from us you sign up for that at patreon.com have a weird pod go and do that now go and do
It now and then come back and watch this episode and you know what actually before you watch this episode book tickets to see me and him love you you’re listening to the funniest podcast in the game from the heart of Liverpool with Adam Dan Sensei Carl and Finn this
Is the one and only have award brought to you by manscape the very best products on the market for below the waste go Ed get on me I was uh I was on holiday up until two days ago three days ago yeah three days ago and uh it’s very
Rare that I could be three days back from a holiday and already sick of all of you but we’ve had quite the intense schedule over the past few days haven’t we yes usually I think when we get dead intense there is an element of light RC
In a week love you to bits see you in a week but uh yesterday I haven’t fully processed it so I’m not sick of you I’m sort of like I feel like we have survived it together there’s an element of like I don’t know what we went through me and Carl got a
Taxi and we didn’t talk me and Carl always chat on when we’re out just me and him tonight there was just a lot of reflection time on there yesterday we recorded this month’s patreon special if you’re a patron you know what that is if you’re not I don’t know what you’re
Waiting for uh but you might you might end up selling up for the the October’s one because um there’s a lot coming in this special um how are you feeling because I was I was the most tired I’ve ever been last night and I had to go and do a warm-up
Show with the Jacaranda and then I had to go home and do some more work on a video that will had worked himself in the ground to get ready for me to go out today uh but then I woke up this morning and we [ __ ] got the holders back mates I was
Full of pep this morning oh hey thank you should have gone Linda’s there shouldn’t I um usually I don’t feel sorry for you you know because you’re just quite um braggadocious about life and you’re like I’ll nail this I’ll know that and in the end
Yes uh and the end you just go yeah Adam will nail it but as you left where we were in Liverpool yesterday to I knew your time as you were like I’m gonna go and have a nap and I’ve got to be at the Jacaranda at this time I was like there
Is you’d have to nap in the like elevator yeah you’d have to be there was no way I actually felt bad last night but I thought no it was the the show was really good it’s just I could have done a little 20 minute disco nap but what I
Did was I just got like my uh time limit on a coffee now I try and not have it after two o’clock because then it affects me sleep right uh but I had a a coffee with an extra shot at quarter past six last night okay cool just to
Get through the show and then still got in and went immediately to sleep like my body was like you can fight as much caffeine as you wanted us today we’re going to but then did you when you woke up this morning do the sort of Terror
Thing that’s what I do I can still go to sleep but at like four in the morning I’m like then I wake up anything’s broken in that’s true it’s just a cafe just a cafe just a caffeine for me doesn’t need to be a burglar Lieutenant
Daniel Caffey I woke up after a couple hours of sleep and I had about two-thirds of a edible that I’m now giving back to Dean and Amy from them to take some Pacha my God I was so stoned I couldn’t get money I did the balls before bed because
It helps you sleep it’s Supreme CBD does right cool not normal is it that’s not normal for you you’re a big wuss I don’t want to feel stoned I just want to sleep well yeah but if you bash them and then don’t sleep it’s awful because you start going oh you’re gonna start
Feeling Stone soon you need to go to sleep which is the last thing that’s going to make me go to sleep them narcolepsy drugs if you fight them you get high so you just gotta not fight the edible let let it take you to sleep narcolepsy drugs yeah there’s narcolepsy
Drugs where if you fight them is it quite lose it might be narcolepsy drugs would keep you awake tablets and then fight them and stay awake and it created all kinds of problems because uh it’s true I don’t know that I’ve ever spoke properly about this but yeah because she was a drinker
But she was in like chronic pain from a hysterectomy gone wrong um like I can’t believe like they removed their womb and they damaged their legs like what kind of [ __ ] was this guy no I was thinking the other night sometimes it’s a pilot’s first day
Just have that thought ever on a plane terrifying I think it might have been a surgeon’s first day for your mum there’s a sentence you don’t feel like you’re gonna say ever um she would like be drinking a bottle of vodka watching the Telly she’d have her
Sleep in tablets because she was like I need them to be able to sleep for the pain but then like another episode of [ __ ] Big Brother’s bid on the side or whatever come on whoa not missing this and she’d stay open no wow hopes to buy a lizard
What by uh alleged rapist Russell Brand yes yeah it was hosted by him but back then my mum didn’t know no of course she admired the chatter so she still what did she do Daniel’s loss is fuming with her I always thought that about your mum didn’t do enough about Russell Brand
She didn’t you know she’s a good woman and I miss her but where was she but then she’d stop dreaming while she was awake oh God so she was drunk and like awake dreaming that’s lovely it’s [ __ ] not when you’re 11. not as you for you but for
This yeah flying yeah you can sort of get away with whatever you want though at that stage yeah mum can we have a house fire yeah only two well you’re going to bed soon you go to school in six hours that’s something okay we have a house fire oh the crazy
[ __ ] you get up to what I did there that was I went for something that like no parent in their sober mind I know it was a bit of hyperbole but I genuinely the way you talk about your childhood I wouldn’t put it past you and
Jack to be like lad listen bonfires are [ __ ] freezing outside when they’re getting going let’s do it inside we used to camp in the backyard and that was pretty much as dangerous as a car with all the Woodland creatures of Dobby Woodland FM what did you see in the cinema
Um the new pyro film shut up yeah maidens yeah is it a part of film no I did we did go watch the new part as well without your mom yeah I did invite her not to not to last night but I did say do you want to go
And watch it and she’s a purist she’s like no I’ll wait until it’s on on itv3 on a Tuesday morning and that’s when I’ll watch it if it’s not Sushi I won’t watch anyone but Sushi it’s gonna be that she’s pretty much like it’s a disgrace Kenneth Branagh filmed what he’s in
Harry Potter who is he no uh the one that lies and yeah what’s he called that writes the book that writes the book and gives him the sign bibliography or whatever Professor Lockhart yeah yeah he can’t lay Sushi’s Muzzy Macy you [ __ ] joke with me you should see them
Ridiculous ah there’s mustache is ridiculous it’s like like a problem which looks [ __ ] reasonable at all times how old’s Sushi these days also an ITV News reader no same name that was John sushi but it is I mean Sushi is quite an unusual name probably yeah it is [ __ ] Elder Sushi’s foreign [Laughter]
‘s face was no he doesn’t now you’ve ruined it it’s the one thing that’s how they’ve made it good parado can’t solve it and he tends to drugs and he tends to alcohol he tends to [ __ ] sleep in tablets but then stays awake and fights them to watch Russell Brand
In Venice yeah it was it was all joking aside Finn yeah what uh I know your mom loves Poirot why did you go and say puero it was the only thing that I wanted to watch at the cinema right I fancy going to the cinema I just
Wouldn’t go to the salary no I like I can’t watch anything at home like I can’t focus because it’s just puero yeah it’s just 24 7 pyro I get that though sometimes I’ve been away gigging and I just go this Cinema and watch something I would never have watched like he
Probably would have watched part of but like like I If there’s nothing that I want to watch and I’ve got hours to kill in a city and nothing to do it’s a free hit just go and watch it yeah which I’d be doing in a cafe apparently
Let’s go for a hangover on your own go on the cinema no that’s I like on a hangover I need to watch something I’ve seen before it’s two I get to it solo Cinema trips are underrated though in terms of I’ve never done one but I know
I’d like you yeah trying to say the same with solo traveling I couldn’t really do that obviously I reckon more than anyone I know literally more than anyone I know you like your own company yeah but also I don’t think I know anyone who’s less likely to do these things on their own
Isn’t that weird yeah yeah you wouldn’t just go I’m gonna go to Cinemas today because you wouldn’t drag yourself out the house you’d rather say in your dressing gown it’s so true kimono yeah that’s stressing out now we’re going into the Winter though oh have you changed it up I’ve gone to the
Thicker tugged one oh nice yeah you’re right I love my own company I’m sick me yeah yeah but then you don’t go and use it you need to spend better time with yourself yeah but you know like when what you’re in is a Loveless marriage with yourself
You know like one of those Loveless managers that just go into the [ __ ] 90s but they hate each other and they’re just in the house he doesn’t appreciate it no he doesn’t take me anywhere and all it will take to read like that’s far take yourself to cinema get yourself an
Iron Splash but don’t tell yourself you’re gonna get it until you get there and you’ll be like yeah he’s like [ __ ] you know I’m so good to me go to get a nice blast but forget and go ah well in me yeah are they nice okay
I’ll do that I’ll count those things on his own yeah Spa weekend or is that a spin-off time to spot weekends on me on have you yeah when you’re single no just what I’ve been like yeah I think gigging away excuse this whole thing because all Comics have had to spend
Time on their own because you like you’re like well I don’t know anyone here sometimes you don’t want to hang out with the comics you’re like yeah I’m going to treat myself go to a restaurant on your own it’s different if you’ve not been away working you’re like in your
Own environment where your friends and family and misses what can’t you leave them alone Crazy Golf I don’t know you know I don’t know maybe you could you know if you got there for a Thursday Friday Saturday and you’re on a Friday morning no Friday morning
You can’t do crazy golf on your own just do it twice you’re like me yeah angry no no one else coming just me if you look if you look like me you just can’t go to the arcades on your own at all ever like do you okay don’t do that
Face what are you playing air hockey I’ll just say I’m lucky what else can’t you do on your own do you reckon you could temp in Bowl on your own I don’t think that’s as bad yeah just get in your own lane and [ __ ] I think if you’re going camping
Bowling on your own you have to have your own ball yeah yeah do you know what I mean like because then it looks like you’re a bowler but if you just turn up and put the [ __ ] like the Hollywood Bowl shoes on and go look around the
Lanes with a size 10 [ __ ] thing at all then you look a bit weird but if you turn up with a [ __ ] a really sick yeah bottle more with like Flames oh cool yeah and you’ve got your own shoes and those [ __ ] pedo sunglasses that people wear inside but you should do
Turn it with your own ball the breakouts and stuff but then put the sides up and use them wow is this guy a pro he must be in traded and then you’ve got the ones we’re filming that as a sketch okay we’re filming that I had 290 games
Sorry is there like a prank video so we’ll get we’re gonna both like the Hollywood Bowl on like uh or one of the ones in town or a gas mate at like 7 P.M on a Saturday for a lane and we’re gonna have I’ll do
It or Dan play it up in full bowl of milk out with a purpose and we’ll be like taking off blowing it off I’m gonna have like hidden cameras on the other people going what that [ __ ] pedophile over there there’s some [ __ ] stuff and then just put the sides up and do
The whole game and watch everyone react to him have a caddy yeah it’s going left to right this one right yeah do stretches do stretches just before you like and then just roll it down the metal thing then I think you’d look best doing this yeah cool I’m really glad we’ve had that
Meeting I like it it’s a new idea and I’m into it oh that’d be so funny you know people’s reactions to that as well turn it would you know like like custom driver [Laughter] my own company and I’d hate to be one of them people you you’re not you’re okay with your own
Company I’m government company now I haven’t always been you used to do my Adam when we were first mates how much you loved your own company oh really yeah because you want like a FIFA night that stopped at like quarter past days because she
Wants to be on your own for the last two hours and I’d be like I’m not I don’t want to go I’m on me I’m playing yeah see but he’d be like trying to come around to last night and play FIFA back [ __ ] right at it yes [ __ ] mates
Nice yes for an hour and a half no but we we would be there for an extended period of time it would be like two hours or maybe we’ve had a bike tweets or whatever and then he’s just like like shall we yeah just stay [ __ ] off now
Like slightly more subtle I’d be like I guess mum wasn’t like right this time for Adam to go or anything like that it was just he wanted to still do this I’d go home and play him from my house yeah I do the stuff that I like hang on hang
On but in this situation if you basically tell him to go home and then you keep continuing to play the game online it’s not like you’re doing your own things you’re just continuing what you were doing no he wants to eat like he’s like [ __ ] gone yeah oh he wants
To do is stretches you can have your knob house you can fart that was a big thing for me growing up I didn’t want people to fall in front of me I I didn’t want friend time to end with anyone like I just wanted to like I’d
Want to play out until the very last second playing footy I wanted to like like if my mum ever told me let me meet at our time for them to go now it’s nine o’clock oh half an hour bedtime I never wanted it to stop but now that continued into your drinking as
Well yeah it’s the same yeah oh same thing like yeah we can keep going yeah you want to see everything that could possibly have but that is gone like yesterday when we were doing all our filming and Will was like right we’re heading top water now I went to him I’ll
See you there and I walked there on my own I was like I want 15 minutes with no [ __ ] talking to me yeah I like just to I like I do what I like I put the things in a tie that I like and [ __ ] obviously it’s nice doing it with somebody else
But you kind of like what you want to watch the [ __ ] I watch I watch stupid stuff no he’s telling me I built a garden office for the same [ __ ] feeling and men need that more than women as well Tink yeah absolutely men need their own little sanctuary
More than women I don’t know why maybe I’m wrong there but I feel like that’s that no idea I see what you mean here the older you get the more you like get a bit set in your ways and like just want a bit of [ __ ] chill yeah women
Are like this is all ours and you’re like yeah yeah it is yeah but what’s mine like I need mine I just need this place for like that’s your office that winner like the house is 100 is like and the stuff that’s ours belongs to they’ll be so heteronormal so yeah the
Living room seneca’s the living room is like it’s yours but if she wants a certain painting it’s going up it’s not even a question am I mad I don’t want to tell you I bought artwork for the kitchen that wasn’t officially sanctioned by Laura it was a
Little Cuddles in the kitchen you know like they do the lyrics of a song I really love the colors and I I really like it and I I haven’t asked for much to be out or anywhere I was like I think this will look good in the kitchen
Only did not go up it moved onto sort of the windowsill and she was like it looks all right there it’s now moved from the windowsill it’s basically prop next to the bin which is about to go in that is the the gradual movement not really not
Really probably not if Laura came home today with uh artwork she’d bought and was like I will go what has happened to him come on if it was like like you know the the spaces in the kitchen that you had your eye on for that little bit if she come home
Today with any and obviously within reason it was like [ __ ] a gang bang with 18 dogs involved you’re not gonna want battle but like painted or is that a photo it’s like we’ve seen on playing cards yeah he’s the one after that the dog’s playing snooker yeah the gangbang one um
But isn’t I looked it was in here so Laura brings homeless Hardware there’s nothing really that she would buy that you’d even argue about is that for like the communal space in the kitchen of the living room pretty much she could have whatever she wants off
Uh I say this I am a lot less strict about sort of imposing my I really don’t like that because last time I really went to town on can we get some [ __ ] artwork up it’s very slow there’s hardly anything up like I tweeted um on my
Instagram stories I put up we had the log burner going and I was watching NFL the other morning because it was cold and two people were like lad there literally is nothing on your walls there’s the still so I’m a lot less like I’m easy going she has bought stuff when
I really pressed her on it she went and bought like some artwork and I was like I’m gonna be honest I just don’t like it yeah I know it happened once in like four years a 2004 2005 Blackburn Rovers team picture you’ve got to check her for a
Head injury because that would be hugely out of character obviously this is lovely because we spent time in Japan and everything else really accents the room nicely obviously Blackburn 0405. I thought my chat bad they’re bad I thought my Derbyshire was dead who am I thinking of who’s dead Peter witting him
Sorry for him it sort of made sense but it’s again it’s great who are these people uh former Premier League Wingers um basically I’ll let everything go because I just you know she’s in the house a lot I’m on tour and out of the house a lot I’m genuinely gonna get a
Blackburn rovers0405 photo framed not a huge one not like an A2 or something just an A4 and just leave it in the kitchen see what happens oh please do I’m just gonna be like when she’s like what’s that I’m like you know I love Rovers and I grew up near Blackburn I love
Rovers yes that is Peter Whittingham never played for him and he’s dead spot and then it’ll end up in the garden office when she goes why don’t you go what would you do she goes oh my God two guys sadly but could be weirdly impressed do you know what’s a boss date night
Idea but I think you inside I could have loved go on go to the range right don’t even tell you doing this surprise her with a shot I yeah I I know Sarah has sort of likes well enough that I think she’d love this and if you’re surprised
About this she’d be like that’s [ __ ] sick go on go to the reign of the range get two massive blank canvases and a load of paints and paint brushes and when she comes home from work one day just have them on the floor where does she’s under them and say we’re gonna
Just paint these canvases and hang them up yeah we’re gonna paint them for two hours and then you need to [ __ ] off because I need my own company have you yeah so we’ve got a book shut up really yeah you’ve had portrait night yes York and coal mates York and coal shade I
Don’t know what he played with where the [ __ ] same yeah um the couples but whatever and the first you scratch it off and the first one was dress up really really smart have champagne and wine and paint and we did it it’s like trashy you’re going to Tiger Woods
Birthday a court case a wedding what and then get paint on it you paint in the [ __ ] tuxedo you look fancy Yak fancy and you paint it was fun and it’s different yeah crazy have you kept those have you kept that artwork yeah literally yeah did you just paint two guy
Is that me no it’s not it’s two go mate phenomenal midfielder she’s so good the painting and I’m not but like she respected my efforts Edge was good man was well done different was it when you were new or was it like recently is in this house but she like a year ago
Wow why are you so surprised it’s just because you all of life’s got no flamboyancy to it I have honestly when it comes to uh you know Black Tie arts and crafts no me and Laura have not done that you’re absolutely right I’m gonna go home with Laura go this is
Pathetic we’ve never worn lingerie and done a plea K oh we’re not even a proper couple so if Laura came home and you were like I’ve got some paints there let’s just have a laugh and have a drink and get drunk she’d [ __ ] love it and she’d suck it off yeah women love
Spontaneous stuff including spontaneous [ __ ] yeah who’s feeding the kids never mind that Laura we’re painting portraits the kids are just rolling down the stairs yeah the kids are with them the kids she’d [ __ ] love it yeah okay cool yeah taking applications for a nun that lives
Around us that would be [ __ ] we want to do party label that sounds like a YouTuber by the way which take it for the party class oh yeah I’ll be doing later better parsley you know what I mean with a Filipino house guests we also the party is expensive though so
We haven’t done it yet but yeah you can lend this book off us if you want yeah okay cool yeah and you scratch so what you do is you pick out at home or out and then you pick your travel time so like it might be too far away whatever
Because I might be like a Sunday I’ve got much time and you scratch it off and it goes do this and you’ve got to do it and then you get a Polaroid you take a picture you do it you put it in so here’s the thing no
Yeah and that’s what you’ve done no genuinely that was the first one I was like oh [ __ ] hell then we went to Randy’s on Ball Street when it’s still open that was lovely because we got to buy paint and paint brushes but it was a beautiful shop that’s unfortunately gone
And that was a part of it it was great but yeah I love that I love that Adam is like yeah you’re a book I don’t have to listen to you one of them would be like I don’t want to do that but you’ve kind of got to be
Invested and just do it and you have fun yeah cool I’ll do it yeah I’ll get the book I’ll get a tuxedo I’ll get Laura a ball gown and some crayons and she will Nosh me off thanks Carl great advice great advice we’re gonna book a babysitter yeah so we
Have to do this in the garden office babysitter what do you mean because that’s the mental load already surprising with what take the mental Load Away the kids that’s a [ __ ] babysitter is the mental load no booking a babysitter is meant load you go to
Make the kids no you can even tell it the kids are gone you don’t wanna where are the kids you don’t want anything like what’s he up to yeah you don’t want any of that do you want to just lock the kids outside what are you talking about
Her mother lives in bedfordshire yeah you can’t you get it Mom you get a mom to come and take the kids for the night get her mum to drive from Bedford is that your only babysitter yes apart from Jasmine shout out she’s a patron who lives down the road which always freaks
Laura out who lives what am I doing right Jasmine yeah I need to babysit where you’re out why because we’re doing uh fancy arts and crafts yo what else why because I’m surprised a lot of what’s up romantic oh that’s lovely I’ll just give my kids to the babysitter and
Just get her to wander around [ __ ] talking no knock on wander around soil they’re going to head out Shanty no that’s not a babysitter local babysitting Hotel I should have thought of booking them in at the local political babysitting hotel that’s a good idea by the way like a Doggy Daycare for babies
Yeah there you go they’re in the cage to drive off from bedfordshire three hours three and a half in traffic with a piss break well she gets to see her grandchildren at the end of it and you pay like she’s driving to [ __ ] DFS to
Try and get a full price sofa is it she’s coming to [ __ ] look after him I mean if you go to DFS and get a full price over you’re not concentrated yeah pay a petty as well thanks for the fact oh right oh yeah pay a petrol get it off
From bad for sure and you put it up in the Hilton in like the sweetness now that she’s got two she’s got two rooms she’s got a bedroom the kids and the kids get to go on stay with their name for the night and you get to go to
[ __ ] posseville mate right so so far date night is costing me about 320 quid yeah you could afford it flip it give her the house you take the sweet no that’s not the same I like I don’t I but he’s I prefer [ __ ] in my own house me
Yeah I know I know every I know how everything weighs and like I know what I can bend someone over and what I can [ __ ] manipulate them on you know what I mean I like like their legs not at this point I’d take it my own eyes
Take it anywhere so that’s valid so right now I’ve got my kids in a uh five-star suite at the Hilton with my tires they’re made of rival weary mum stepmom stop what is it about him right they’re gone it’s Laura’s mom your stepmom no she’s my mother
Carry on no I have got a step mum I know um no she just doesn’t talk to me and uh she’s also not an option for babysitting dangerous water here Dan let’s swim away you can get the internet in Tarleton um yeah I uh so I’m all in so I’ve got the
How Laura’s like where are the kids and I’m like never mind about that yeah I know you haven’t seen your mum for four months but she’s around the corner in a suite for the Hilton but it’s not about her I’m taking the load off you I know you
Thought they’d been kidnapped because I didn’t explain what was going on but they’re just gone don’t even think about because that’s how being a mum Works outside out of mind and then by the way you’re going to need a frock what do you mean you’ve not got
One it’s like you’re not trying for this date now mental load again I’ve got you one women love to be dressed here you do here’s a is a lovely dress I didn’t know what size so just guess 14 so there’d be some games what check the ones in the wardrobe no
Bed oh check the ones in the wardrobe great 12. I don’t know why am I doing this um give her the dress she she’s like it’s not really my color I’m like shut up oh it’s gone we’ve gone black little black dress she’s got the black dress on
LBD yeah yeah and some shoes that want and she’s like oh my God you’re taking me on a big night no let’s go down to the Garden office I’m gonna be pretty excited [Laughter] I’m doing art attack with you it’s not an awards night why would you think it’s an awards though yeah I always wear a tuxedo idiot get the brushes she’s laughing head off what [ __ ] happened before Oh you have the funnest Night Ever After Kayla Edibles yeah a mid-shelf wine like a
Nine quid bottle of wine from the Asda oh yeah she knows that’s not a sex question that’s the good game is that one of the ones yeah that is that Michelle Crown Wine in here it is dropped to 11 quit the crime one yeah I like the yellow one
With that I like ones that have got that little gold netting around it that makes it look fancy I don’t know it’s still about eight quid um so yeah it’s all over that idea but it’s a good idea obviously she’s not gonna think the kids are being kidnapped
Because what you do is you leave them down there to get her nails done and their makeup by like a professional makeup brilliant brilliant another 80 quid sure you can afford it oh my God and I’ve also played the fuel for my mother-in-law [ __ ] 70 quid right so
I’m 470 in and I’ve not even been knocked off I’m much of my pain on paint spending on paint how much of that you get the gold paint I want them to last and a bit of a because we’ll be doing this again next week yeah yeah varnish
As well or sealant nice yeah you want to protect it varnish yeah we’re giving it you could even a little bit of joinery make a table some dovetail joints hang on so we’re doing artwork oh we’re doing carpentry dude I love kids kids I mean you’re gonna rewind
Do it in a ball gown and a ball gown yeah we can really wait for a couple to die both get electrocuted like they’re at the [ __ ] Oscars [Laughter] another month [Laughter] oh Tuesday night yeah oh God the posh’s [ __ ] suicide pack you’ve ever seen women love spontaneity women love suicide packs
Welcome into the Hilton it was suicide packed it’s on page nine and you’ve got to do what the book says suicide pact that was one that Adam was like yeah I don’t want to kill myself [ __ ] off you’re a book well boys that was a slow build but it was beautiful
Let’s have a break hey you guys on a little break if he used to listen to so why don’t you do as a favor while we’re on a break like this if you’re on YouTube subscribe to the channel if you’re on YouTube leave a comment if you listen on Apple
Podcasts leave us a five star review with a nice little comment if you’re listening on Spotify leave us a five star review with a nice little comment follow us online all our socials at have a word pod give us a follow-up stuff if you see a video like it and share they
Cost you nuts it’s my favorite piece of clothing it’s very very nice it is a lovely blue Michigan Jordan the Wolverines mate I’m Wolverine for life yeah yeah they’re doing well yeah [Laughter] I like their uniforms though I pick American sports teams like women pick horses on the Grand National ball uh I
Like the pink stop saying women like that I don’t mean all women I mean the ones I know okay a couple of questions right first one from Matty Rutter oh loves it up the scrottery rotter if a statue of you was ever made what pose would you want what
Location and what would you want the plaque to say um I’d want the uh the sexy therapist’s chair I mean what like I’m laying on the therapist’s bed sorts on the shoes for the audio listeners Adam’s been super sexy Brent to me yeah yeah it is you’re doing an office reference but I’m
Seeing that’s how it’s the sexy therapist chair for me and and then where were the Wally yeah on top of the cop over like overlooking yeah so I’m constantly just watching the match from the best seat in the house and then what is the black say yeah I mean it doesn’t really matter
What’s on the plaque because no one’s yeah it’s on the top of her stadium in it yeah the plaque’s massive though it’s bigger than Joseph’s Adam yeah what about you though uh like um a bronze statue of me in a tuxedo lore in a ball gown with a little screwdriver and us
Both dead electrocuted and I just want the play to say date night where’s that where’s that where does it mean oh do I do I get to choose yeah where it is yeah it’s on top of the cup of course where’s yours um the uh the Liverpool Road end
The anfield road end damn I’m Phil rodent they put Rose in page Moss yeah stupid the other side so I’ve just really [ __ ] up the skyline of anfield oh you’re going for a car I don’t know maybe every season people sit backwards on chairs with the legs yeah yeah yeah probably that
Like a substitute teacher who wants to get on a level with the kids call me Carl yeah I’m not like a normal teacher da um my mind you’ve been a teacher yeah telephone Barcelona as well yeah but not in schools got upset for them not in school in
School in public schools not as in private school in Japan yeah but you haven’t taught in the UK have you no I’ve volunteered in a classroom for a month or meal to go to get to see if I liked it and I was sick kids love me a teaching assistant
Uh basically I basically rang the old school and went hello I want experience in a school can I just come into the school and they’re like yeah all the receptionists were the same people recognized me was just mad um and you’re like yeah just go into a
Class for a month and I was basically what do you want me to do and she put me with this young lady who needed uh like one to one and on the last day I brought me uh Elder wanden from Harry Potter and he thought it was real and it was
The best day of his life this wasn’t a top set was it us this Landing is one-to-one help Adam he wasn’t like the smartest person in the class yeah plus he thought a wand was real no but I told him it was real but I said about work in
Schools because you’ve got to be doing your work because you’re not allowed to to do magic and yeah I was like you know if I took this outside I couldn’t do magic he’s like wow so I didn’t work in schools he was like best day of his life sitting card and
Leaning no in St Paul’s oh yeah let’s go right right okay Carl went into school and got his Wonder so let’s I honestly thought you know but um whatever I was talking about before Adam said I was a teacher yes I can’t remember what I was talking about
Uh oh yeah as after I’m close to redeemer’s shoulder and let’s just say what’s happening yeah good nice solid right from Finn Grove uh if you and your partner somehow swap bodies for a day would you shag what would they suck my own [ __ ] if you and your partner somehow swap
Bodies for a day would you shag I suppose that’s the first thing you’re doing it that’s the dream if anything to [ __ ] yourself in it is it is it a dream what do you think next time you piss someone off and they’re like go [ __ ] yourself and I’ve done it mates it was
Sick now you [ __ ] off oh maybe would you would you because you’re in cirica’s body for the day yeah no noshinoshi yeah but what about pound town and not even the power drive to the ass just a just a gentle because it’s your first time yeah I want to see what
It was like yeah well better doesn’t it the euphemism have put your finger in you yeah and like tickly which bit feels better famous euphemism what like you enjoy sex more men or women put your finger in your ear and do that which part feels better the ear Carl
Have you literally ever heard a noise of the [ __ ] yeah of course if you keep scratching your ear you will come in fact you think that’s gonna Bell enough okay I’ve got a Clayton here so there you go it’s not gay to [ __ ] yourself though is it
And anyway it’s not gay because you’re a woman for the day if you bent your [ __ ] up and put it up your own ass it’s gay next question yeah uh you know no silences just crack on yeah I was just crack on I was just reflect the noise
Yours pile through look at this I was waiting for Dan’s opinion on it yeah underrated overrated what you want oh well [ __ ] I’ll tell you what if you’re gonna crack on through I’ve got to be ready Trouble this first one’s from Oscar heated seats overrated I don’t ever want to be warm ever especially for an extended period of time I’m assuming he means heated car seats no I don’t need it I like it in the winter I’ll turn it off though don’t keep it on the whole thing
Just initially before the cars warmed up it is kind of nice because they heat up pretty quickly same BMW you have to get a subscription for that right Harland Robinson says overrate or underrated music during sex it depends what it is uh RMB Usher’s debut album yeah ah confessions
Yeah hard time for me to say it is it’s been a long time coming soon I do yeah we’re all every NFL fans just like cool everyone like throw it out but in 2021 it peaked we’ve got what we’re going for music during sex no I don’t know unless you’ve got a
Special playlist I just don’t know that’s worse shagging playlist no just put a bit of a what’s possible tunes on and then just get the black Tunes Alexa no I have because that’s all I’ve got on really and then sometimes you go to [ __ ] down spontaneously that’s different
If Wagon Wheel comes on you’re not a [ __ ] I probably have a [ __ ] to Wagon Mill yeah anything it quickens him up he definitely has [ __ ] to Wagon Wheel it’s on and off yeah I will love music being on sound I I more often than not though [ __ ] to telly
And then I have to rewind then try and remember and then you go I’ll remember that bit from where I was doing that yeah yeah yeah and also you get to know exactly how long you take because you get to go oh [ __ ] that was
Wrong so like what I do is when we stop I paused Italian I’m like that’s on 37 minutes and I go back to where it started and it’s like oh eight minutes that talks 29 minutes I do exactly the same thing you just keep [ __ ] Through The Good
Wife yeah yeah you’re not listening but you’re hearing yeah you listen with your eyes right cool I’m a I like it all silent oh just nice and I don’t need to put like it if you’re in a room where nothing’s on I don’t go Laura I’m gonna
[ __ ] bang you so bad but let me just put the TV on in the background Maybe YouTube just like no it’s already quite into a room where Lord is being perfectly silent and anyway and then trying to [ __ ] what well I was just sitting at this
Okay no I didn’t say I didn’t say we have to whisper I’m just saying the room’s quiet I’m not going in going lower it like it’s just that if the room is quiet I’m not putting stuff on why is Laura sat in this quiet let me just get a CD
Who said she was I just said me we walked in together you walked in she doesn’t just wait in a [ __ ] room like an ill person in a bed I need help what you need Laura dick you turn the lights on though what you do you turn the lights on though uh not
The big light I don’t know awful It is it’s awful you don’t like the big lights on though no it’s just a big light on the The Landing like shagging in the dentist the London light perhaps a lamp a lamp bedside one of you two bedside lamps on it’s perfect for Ambience can I just say
Fairy lights sometimes if you’ve got fairy lights in your room that that Caster I’ve had girlfriends that have kept like had fairy lights and it looks really nice if you bunk to them yeah I I once [ __ ] in front of clap activated uh Christmas tree lights yeah it changed like what they were
Doing and they went [ __ ] bananas around an epileptic fits cheeks 29 minutes right lights on glow up if you have the lights off you want to see it once in a while nothing wrong with it so lights on is overrated music is lights on is underrated underrated they’re not the
Big light not the big light you know I wanted to be clinical you don’t want it to feel like an experiment You Know Carl do you have a big like floor length mirror like a huge one at the side so you can be like well like Patrick
Bateman yeah no but I have to I have I have done that in rooms and I don’t love it because I’ve got to be honest with you this might Chuck yeah I’m not as uh good at [ __ ] to the eye as I am to the caucus you’re a fail player it
Doesn’t look amazing I don’t look like a porn star but like I feel like a porn star yeah if you ever [ __ ] with it Mirror On The Ceiling well every other minute on the ceiling no basically yeah karaoke right next one Gary blank oh my god I’ve just remembered my dad had a
Floor-length mirror what you remember I just remembered one of the houses we lived in I’ve just remembered that you know saying floor-length mirror I’ve just remembered the last place I saw what was in my dad’s bedroom and it’s just giving me the when he’s with your mom now a few years after
Why do you think that’s a bedroom what what were you in your dad’s bedroom I wasn’t banned from the bedroom I wasn’t Harry Potter I wasn’t living under the stairs like like I’m aware of what was in different rooms what are you turning in my room just checking where
The mirrors are it was just there was a mirror in there Carl [Laughter] can you mush it right next to my burger as well nice one I want it touching my other food can I just say most solid on base is unnecessary and overrated correct like I think it’s all style over
Substance that like lettuce on a big Echo makes other things soggy and doesn’t even keep its form like letters on a cold sandwich I guess I do it’s got the crisp yeah but like if you get your Subway toasted like the letters shouldn’t really be on that either for
Me it should only be on a cold Subway yes oh oh yeah I don’t get myself as soon as you warm up the lettuce it goes on it’s like soggy cabbage letters it’s bollocks yeah yeah Tomatoes I don’t like on Burgers I don’t like my entomologist
Now I got into a Greek salad while I was in Greece [ __ ] wonderful really nice stuff I really liked it on a bag I just don’t need it it makes the bread Audible and I feel like a child when I whenever I order a burger I have to go no letters
No tomato and then if the onions are uncooked onions they can suck me [ __ ] bollocks as well yeah like do you ever agreed with him so much like yeah anything like that is completely overrated I said I honestly think five guys are so good for this they’re like
You want a burger when you say cheeseburger we’ll assume you mean the meat the cheese and bread and then literally everything else it’s interesting you can literally say every one of them but you get to go I like a little lettuce Mayo ketchup hot sauce whatever you ask they don’t presume
Uh do you know about the free bacon for Life fast food hack no so in Five Guys all of the toppings are free uh for everything so you can go in order a Five Guys Burger and ask for extra bacon extra bacon extra bacon extra bacon extra bacon and you can say that
As many times as you like nice and they will put on as much bacon as you asked for you can take it out of the burger and then just reheat it it’s not going to be a yeah it’s not going to be a burger anymore is it it’s going to be a
Cheeseburger hidden in a pile of bacon yeah but then you take all that bacon sauce There’s No Limit no she can just have all the limits of bacon legally they’re not even allowed to go you’ve got two kilograms of bacon in that burger like no it’s trading standards
I will wait for the next delivery European consumer law which we are get on it right it’s a if that’s a hack for most things yeah are we still are we still part of that though you know four years we’re not in Europe anymore no we won’t be are you sure
Still used it last year that’s literally why we left the EU yeah we’re not in the EU because [ __ ] Brussels mates and all their Oculus see we’re controlling our laws I’m making our passports not black and look how good things are now you want to Pikachu will always fire mate
You’ve got something electrical up broke with him for easy buying it with Galaxy warranty if you took it back yeah and claimed that you’d have to change it and who owned the thing that was breaking probably Tories who benefits not having a rule that says you have to replace it
Taurus yeah [ __ ] rats right uh next one Liam F underrated or overrated wearing long sleeve tops or hoodies underneath football tops of the match personally don’t see anything wrong with it especially in the winter when it’s freezing I want my football top to be on display rather than my boring hoodie go
For that I think people who judge others for doing it are just being weird here’s the thing okay I if I went to an NFL game would do that correct if I seen someone doing it at anfield it is an immediate sign that they’ve never stepped for us in the city before yeah
To the match to the match to the match over a hoodie so this literally the one I’ve got on now with the hoodie Andre because you want this top on display yeah but if it’s the NFL that looks good because in the states they go and watch
Games in minus three degrees Celsius and they still do that that’s what they do they wear the coat and and you go cool you live in [ __ ] New England or whatever but over here it’s not looking good is it no you know you’re a tourist you’re a wall yeah it’s some that’s the
Biggest wall sign you could possibly get I would do it an NFL game if I was cold but I there’s but I’m an NFL wolf what if you took someone to the match for the first time and that’s what they turned up in well the first time I took Alfie
To the match he had white socks on rolled up jeans and a tote bag if you can survive that you can survive anything what was in the towpark just his belongings the book that he was reading his book will have been in it oh yeah yeah there’s a notebook a novel for half
Time yeah Madness but yeah you’re right that’s Taurus screams tallest hey question if we go to Buenos Aires it went and go and watch bucker are we kid I mean we’re gonna look like that are we gonna kick up or is that touristy like weapons
Tulip I didn’t mean to look oh I know they’re a bit feisty down there I’d wear a biker kit yeah yeah yeah that’s not that’s fine isn’t it is it basically just anfield that this is not allowed in all good I said no I feel like I’m not a
Taurus that I’m failed to be a tourister yeah and if you come with me I don’t want you to look like one either right because I’m taking you right okay um I’ll tell you what makes you a bit of a taller still done food let me just find smooth um
Oh this smells wonderful sex toys Welcome to our newest most popular section dance tries to eat stuff that he’s never happened food there’s your jungle um um what is it today today you’re having an OG green pot noodle um I’m sure there was pot noodles that I’d like more than this
As well you can’t try a pot noodle without going for the green one first also this is like one of the most inoffensive things ever if you don’t like this they are staple just good goodness how long ago was this uh poured Matthew four minutes so you’ve done it as it
Says on the tin oh my gosh Matthew knows me yeah you’ll always have bread with this is that’s wonderful the soy sauce is already in oh my God I don’t even think I want a bacon bottle anymore I want that you can have it so about three minutes Adam what what’s going on
Hello ladies and gentlemen my name is Adam Rowe I’m the co-host of the half away podcast and so is he his name’s Dan Nightingale he is a bit of a food idiot and he doesn’t try food so we’ll force them to try it one every single week of
Food on episode I’m an idiot ladies and gentlemen welcome to Dan tries food this is to have a weird podcast this is Dan Nightingale he’s got food phobias we’ve made him try a hot dog we made him try scouse which is essentially just stew uh you’re okay
They haven’t seen that yet but oh god um here we go this is uh Dan Nightingale Age 42’s first ever crack at a pot noodle that is pathetic and you’re gonna have to have just give me a break just give me a break it doesn’t baby just
Got that guys the more you put on the more likely I’m not gonna like it let me just go away you [ __ ] loves it that’s objectively pretty sound yeah [Applause] yeah something else then go on I want you to have a drink of it oh no that’s for the end no you gotta
Have a drink the last day you drink yeah have you ever had soup it’s soup no I don’t have soup well you are gonna have a little drink of it because it’s it’s a part of having a pot noodle it’s a part of Avenue yeah do it trust us it’s chicken soup
I don’t like chicken soup I don’t know I’m scared drinky pot noodle uh we’ll have to do this like a cup of tea That’s too hot to drink oh that’s skull town noodle was that nice it’s lovely that’s this one’s dirty now drink your pot noodle I’ll stop being a [ __ ] space idiot
Nailed it we have to cut that out good boy it’s like dirty water yeah it’s all right yeah I’ll give you this it’s all right well done yeah mine the hot dog he didn’t mind he would order this in a Michelin starred restaurant out of turn down
Not as good as hot dog that went really well oh yeah seven then again compared to what I thought I was gonna how much I was gonna hate it seven compared to food I like oh oh you were wrong for nothing go on we love you
Oh that was a ship I’ll just take it easy uh you know I’ve done is that your first noodles you had noodles before no you never had noodles before I’ll keep doing this but you’re insane have you had fried rice yeah yeah yeah all right but I’ve had that one yeah
Okay you’ve never had noodles okay I’m gonna get you a chow mein right cool so that’s gone all right yeah yeah well done tell me what flavors there are is there like a spicy one Bombay bad boy I’m telling you I’d like the Bombay beef and tomato and now no Donna kebab
Season tomato it’s not bad a lot of fun of it Donald Club One Taste it’s my how that it tastes like Kebab but it’s veggie wow I haven’t had that one I do want one though it’s nice can I just say the pressure of everyone watching and
Listening and you telling me to do it is the only thing this stuff is happening I know the only reason so on the special that is about to go out in what in three weeks yeah two three weeks not to ruin it but I tried scouse and oh
My God that’s how I expect every new food to go so so far what are we on like we’re about two and a half out of four so far aren’t we for trying yeah the baked beans was a disaster yeah I went halfway with the Greg’s
Uh yeah it’s not going as badly as I thought what’s the next one oh eggs comment below what you think scrambled eggs on toast it’s crumb oh all right cool I agree [ __ ] you know a bit of pepper and salt do you wanna do you want that for
Lunch and I’ve got a bacon body coming no I think it’s here it’s gone Abby what’s happening ladies and gentlemen as you might have heard me and this wonderful guy this absolutely handsome booger we are both on tour doing our separate stand up towards the minute
Dan’s been told him for the past few weeks my tour starts this week this week I’m in Carlisle Leicester and crew Carlisle is sold out Leicester is very close and crew has some tickets left next week I’m in Leeds Saint Helens Harrogate and scunthorpe the week after that I mean Nottingham Southport
Blackburn Newcastle and Glasgow uh there’s I’m going all over the country go to adamrove.co.uk and check out whether I’m coming close enough for user bother coming to Siri I’m almost certain that I am unless you live in Lancaster which someone pointed out is in a bit of
A black hole for my tour so you’re gonna have to travel because Lancaster’s a [ __ ] and I hate the people who live there done luckily I’m not playing Lancaster October dates that have still got tickets the rest are sold out Thursday the 5th in Oxford Friday the
6th in Brighton that is about to sell out Darwin on the 13th Leicester at the Y on Saturday the 21st Warwick Come On Warwick 27th of October October Bristol on the 28th and Cardiff on the 29th and the tour finishes in Liverpool on Wednesday the 22nd of November at the
Fill Shannon nightingale.com my apologies for stepping on you there speaking of Liverpool tour shows I’ve added the second one Saturday the 9th of March 6 p.m is sold out and 9pm is now on sale was that damn nightingale.com there Dan it was done nightingale.com oh I’ve talked over yours yeah we’re
Both rude really just get some tickets all right it’s time to tell you about Carl’s absolute favorite sponsor it’s fume trifum.com promo code have a weird gets you 10 off the journey pack and why would it be called The Journey pack because you’re going on a journey aren’t
You listen cold turkey might be good on buddies you love a little cold turkey but he done don’t you I I was raised on cold turkey but you’re not going cold taking with your habits not when there’s a thing like this which is just so easy it’s beautiful so well weighted you look
Cool you feel cool a lot of people have stopped me in the in Liverpool City Center so you look cool lad and I’m like yeah it’s my food instead of electronics instead of vapor instead of harmful calimicals you can use this all natural delicious flavored fume okay and how do
People get what we’re often and them done uh join fume in accelerating Humanity’s breakup from destructive Habits by picking up the journey pack today head to tryfume.com and use code word have a word to save 10 off when you get the Journey pack today that’s try
Fum.com and use code have a word to save an additional 10 off your order today that is so well weighted and beautiful yeah yeah it’s nice smells dead good on me all right a few ladies and gentlemen Mr Mark Normand is in the building it’s good to be here thanks for making
The effort to come because you you’re not doing a show in Liverpool and your Manchester one happened before I knew about it so I’ve seen on a Ticketmaster that you were doing Birmingham and Glasgow and I was like we can definitely just get you picked up and brought here
On the way because Liverpool is so on the way to Glasgow from Birmingham oh yeah I appreciate it we sent uh uh so whenever we’ve got a guest that we’re determined to get to the studio we will send the car to pick them up so that there’s no fuck-ups yeah that’s how you
Know we want you when we’re picking you a band dropping you off that’s that’s uh yeah I wanted to do it I mean it was weird they said we’ll pick you up at 9 30. we went out all night last night in Birmingham which is a tough town to go out in
A lot of just bad bars and fat chicks and then um there was it was a Shania Twain concert in town which really hurt my tickets yeah a lot of crossover but a lot a lot of big ladies and cowboy hats and Boots really cause playing it up see
That’s a bit of me though oh really yeah I went to Nashville and nearly stayed there just because of the uh just because of the women well for you guys it’s a foreign thing it’s like us wearing an Italian suit you’re like it’s a different because you don’t have
Cowboys here that’s true yeah you know so it’s ethnic almost but a lot of big ladies out there man I feel like a woman horrible teeth and dead skin and good times and then uh we went out all night and then woke up at nine
The car wasn’t there so then I went to the free breakfast at the Hampton Inn and then he showed up and it was it was a scramble but uh we made it work I sent my uh a friend of mine Nevin uh Nevin he’s a driver I wear equipment when I
Was 16 until about 17 in McDonald’s yeah you were saying you have a little bit of trouble with his accent he talked so fast yeah here’s my thing the the British in you guys invented the English language so you’re like black belts at it so you can talk so quick there’s no
Pauses and you string words together I’ve got to be honest with you mate that isn’t the problem it’s not that so Liverpool where we are now where I’m from where Carl’s from where Nevin’s from it there’s such a like uh a disassociation with most of Britain uh it’s sort of like we’re
Trying to speak our own language yeah they change sport they change sport they’ve done a bit Jiu Jitsu on it is an American city or state that’s similar to that well we have like Hillbillies like hang out try and like disassociate from America and be its own
Thing I’d say Florida or Texas maybe yeah and then you got Hawaii and Alaska yes that’s its own thing but that for me especially Texas Texas only don’t want to be part of the normal American thing because they think they’re the real America right and everyone else is doing
It [ __ ] wrong yes like Liverpool is like we we don’t want anything to do with that like we want our own little Republic we want to float off enjoy an island ideally that’s the plan I like it well you got a little Scottish sound in
There too if if I may say so but I I’m oh it’s all Gaelic isn’t it Irish Scott like it’s all a rich uh tapestry yes there you go see even with the way you say McDonald’s it sounds like a nice restaurant you know we’re like McDonald’s and I’m translating for you
Like I actually talk a lot closer to what Nevin sounds like than I am right now and also I I would really like one day next time we have an american guy in to just get our jacking get my little brother in for like a days where
Experience and get him to sit with finners and just we’ll just pretend that like Jack is normally yeah the lead host and let him ask the questions because I think a lot of people are going to have a lot of trouble oh yeah he’s Advanced by the way Manchester has a real problem
With you guys yeah yes I brought it I brought it up like hey I’m going to Liverpool or whatever and they’re like they went off yeah [ __ ] them you know what that is do you know like um football right and it no it goes back to
When the the Two Towns used to compete for the same work like the Liverpool docks and the Manchester Canal are competing for the same work they were part of the same system they benefited from the same thing yeah it’s just uh right well I I threw out the Beatles and
They go [ __ ] you we have Oasis and I was like yeah but the Oasis are just like a really good Beatles tribute that’s what I said I love that that’s like saying we got Bruce Jenner well we got Caitlyn it’s just a repeat a sequel It’s uh yeah
Manchester is like I suppose what Philadelphia is to New York uh Manchester is to feel like we’re obviously the better City and Manchester wishes to be us so it has to pretend that it doesn’t like us oh there’s some guy in a football jersey right now really getting pissed in Manchester he’s
Breaking a pencil why are you laughing do you nothing I’m right no no you just you’re just two cities too close to each other and you’ve been whining each other up for [ __ ] years it’s not that they want to be you or you want to be them they’re just it’s it’s
Just classic there’s there’s little town versions of it just up the road where [ __ ] I’ll take the local [ __ ] oh Manchester it’s got less of a soul even the architecture is just like born I agree with that it’s prettier here and I’ve only been here 10 seconds it’s just less
And that’s it yeah something about it Manchester’s like oh where’s that cool but I think you’re ready we have to divide somehow you know we gotta have a rivalry it gives us something to do something to feel you know it’s like Ireland has the Protestants and the Catholics and you
Want to go hey neither are real you know it’s all silly or who you’re the exactly your wife’s ugly you have paint fences go to work you’re drunk you know but uh we’ve lost so many patrons today I love the Irish don’t get me wrong Mark’s happy to do that because he’s
Just done his Irish thing my Irish states are still coming mate I disagree with everything this man said Vicar Street was the best show we did the whole tour if I’m being honest vicar Street’s the best venue in the world magical it’s possibly the best in the world
I’m not doing it I’m doing the Olympia this year oh and it’s gonna be great all right well uh we did the podcast shop Victor Street and it was um sick yeah please please please buy tickets to our Dublin shows bring your ugly wives yeah we need those sales
What’s the paint brushes though yeah and I do say I went to Paris for two days on a whim and the Irish showed up took over the whole city and then won the Rugby World Cup in Paris so that was pretty cool oh [ __ ] yeah they won a game didn’t
They yeah so they turned up to you like you were Conor McGregor in Vegas is that well yes it was just a sea of green and red hair and and black beer all over Paris nice so I was like I just left Dublin and hear all these freckled
Fatties you know taking over the city but uh it’s fun to see the the [ __ ] French waiter like oh and the Irish guy like come on man give me another Point you’re saying it was quite French though come again your surname is quite French I’m a half French yeah half French half
Sicilian yeah that’s sick mixture oh hey thanks that’s a really really good combination what do you think so where in America were you raised I’m from New Orleans you’re from New Orleans Louisiana French half Italian yeah that’s quite curly that bad all types of immigration going
On down there oh yeah a lot of [ __ ] not inbreeding [Laughter] Turkish half Welsh what you look like a Nazi how did that happen how about that I’ve never noticed that but you do hit this wet dream it’s the hair if you found out it’d be Hitler’s
Nightmare just reach for the top shelf let me just see what that looks like don’t do it you could be a spy for the Turkish don’t if you had to like just be one half oh good one um that’s a great game show maybe pay it
Though yeah I can and the fact you haven’t gone Turkey straight away is [ __ ] mental you either get to be terrific which one I think I think Welsh is not too not too far away from scouse in terms of it’s got its own identity it’s fun to [ __ ] on whales okay please What would you prefer well I don’t know much about turkey but it’s pretty right I mean for you well Sicilian I got the I got a little like a drop of black blood in me so I feel like I could get a job or something
Um but uh no penis help I’m very medium in the penis uh world I’ve had girls like oh you’re Sicilian huh and they’re like undoing my belt and they’re like ah you must be French but uh yeah you got a French dick yeah I got French dick it’s red blue and white
All the way down but yeah it’s circumcised unlike the uh the frogs hey it’s nice to uh it’s nice to have another unhooded brother in there [ __ ] oh that’s something you identify where people wear no it’s just everyone’s got a [ __ ] lid on the dick in this room it sounds like I’ve been
Checking everyone’s dick I just I’m you know I like it myself we do this all the time I love mine I really love it yeah I like me foreskin it’s like you know occasionally like you want to put a coat on I see but what if
It’s summer yeah well then I can pull me cope oh okay I have the option of a coat your deck’s just freezing in the winter isn’t it no I can wear I can wear trousers and Underpants that’s a car and a car park so you’ve
Got a coat and then a car and a car oh yeah we’re main Coast is a euphemism yeah I can pop pants and trousers on doesn’t really work yeah over your [ __ ] coat yeah we’ve got pants trousers and a coat on Yes sounds sweaty yeah you wanna literally sat there and
Punched trousers in the coast yeah I’m too warm as well but my dick just the right temperature there you go what about the smegma I think you get some some shawarma down there or anything little chicken shawarma yeah I just wash it every day every day oh I can let this
Thing wash your [ __ ] oh once a month it’s like a period yeah ignore he hasn’t washed his car cycling together that’s great we’re in sync yeah yeah yeah she’s not interested and I’m cleaning my dick it works really well once a day whoa I could eat dinner off this dick
Not a big dinner but maybe like a tapas or something it is amazing hey I watched to you Jen are you joking do you not what you wash your [ __ ] every day it’s honestly only it’s genuinely it depends what I’ve been doing with it like if it’s just standard
Use you know we’re podcasting and whatnot what if you know if we’re getting into our Hobbies then maybe you know you do a little courtesy you wank like three times an hour are you telling me you leave [ __ ] it’s really consistent once a day there you go everyone needs a bedtime ritual here
Here yeah I’m doing a lot of cleaning then as well so you know last night this is I think this might be the first time it’s ever happened to me so yesterday Mark we did a a full day of film and for some extra content and then I had a show
Last night just in in town and uh I was absolutely exhausted and I got in bed kind of horny kind of and I started and just went oh can’t be asking I’ve been there I just gave up that’s an age thing because when you’re you know 22 you’re
Not giving up oh yeah wake up to wank yes I’ve started but I’ve started not wanting one but then I’ll make her one though yeah I’ve never stopped halfway I literally like I had the video on and everything and I went why am I even why
I’ll do it tomorrow I’ve had that yeah it felt like I felt like I was doing the dishes and then I remembered I live on my own I was like No One’s Gonna know yeah and No One’s Gonna know I didn’t come today and now I’m telling a quarter of a million people
Oh absolutely the exhaustion just takes over and you’re like that well there’s no one wants this we’ve all been there with a jerk or a wink where you have to kick it up a notch you know it’s not doing it for you you know you’re you’re two minutes in five minutes in you’re
Like I gotta Kick this up you gotta get a new video a harder video a crazier video and I think you didn’t want to kick it up yeah you know and I’ve been there yeah it just and the video was to be honest fairly sort of high Echelon oh
Really I’ll tell you the details off camera but like it wasn’t just uh like the name of the video what you know the name no Shania Twain fun it was you know there was stuff happening it wasn’t just a bunk it was like there was things going on in this
Video there was story to it was there too much going on maybe your ADHD kicked in I’m too tired that’s that kind of [ __ ] everything okay okay what happened there looked at the camera pointed to the camera and then waved at will and I was like oh there’s something wrong with the camera and then I asked Jack is everything okay and he looked at me like Ah that’s an
Unreasonable question it’s gone keep going keep going yeah trust the production team they’re all good I mean jackets in production I do trust the production team that’s why I thought there was something wrong because he looked like there was something wrong and I trust it’s just a jack so hung over because
You know the way Mark when I was all nice in Birmingham Jack when I was all nice and then stayed up until this morning in Liverpool so hey look you look like the the women in Birmingham uh did you approach any of the ladies in
Birmingham no I’m a married guy and uh I don’t know I’m like you I’m like your dick I was just exhausted even if I had an inkling I was I was too wiped I was I would jerk and didn’t finish so it was it’s been hard we’ve been out here a
Month we did Lisbon Dublin and twerp Amsterdam Berlin London Manchester Paris Birmingham and then Glasgow today and Glasgow is the last one that’s it and then back to the States yeah back to right back to skank Fest I don’t know if you’ve heard the uh in Vegas yeah Luis
Gomez and the Legion of skanks that whole thing and it’s it’s that’s gonna be nuts so yeah column tarot put me in a group chat with Lewis last week because Lewis is coming over to do some stuff and he was like you guys need to sort of
Work on something so there you go uh skunk Fest I’ve only sort of seeing bits of online yeah but it does you know like we were talking about doing like a a have a weird Festival like next year that was like something that we’ve talked about I don’t know whether we’ve ever mentioned
That on an episode exclusive we’re looking at doing it in Liverpool over like a weekend where Comics doing their solo shows and then a few podcast shows and a few like mixed builds yeah basically yeah it’s pretty big people coming from La New York Austin and uh
They get some big names and they have live pods and Big Shows and people do their albums there they do specials there it could be fun we can get Russell Brand yeah come on here he’s not he’s not busy at the moment yeah yeah it’s not available pretty open he’s uh he’s
Busy with subpoenas yeah yeah finally and some [ __ ] but yeah um he’s uh he’s pushing back but we’ll see it’s up to the courts to decide huh the court oh is that oh no I do think uh I’ve I’ve heard uh that caused us now
Uh I mean but you know in my opinion he did it because anyway because uh because he did it so that’s pretty good reasoning yeah you can’t fault it we think he did it because he did yeah I’ve sorts have been telling everyone for the past four years that he did it because
Uh just watched any episode we’ve ever done and you’ll let us talk about yeah if it ever came up you know like what would happen on an episode up until recently if someone was mentioned like someone who’s sexually saw someone or something to come up and then just about
30 seconds after it we’d find a reason to mention Russell Brandon just so you know if you’ve noticed that as the years have gone on it was never a coincidence uh because because he did it um have you gigged in Glasgow before I opened for Bert Kreischer there about
Four years ago and it was pretty Rowdy I can’t remember the venue but you know we just uh we drank the whole time and then we went out after and I think I got it to about eight headlocks okay just guys like hey you [ __ ] Nancy or whatever
The hell I don’t know what they say over there they’re looking for their wife Nancy I knew yeah but yeah it was it’s pretty wild in a goddamn beautiful place Glasgow oh yeah Glasgow Liverpool and Newcastle if you ever get a chance to Newcastle three very similar cities in terms of what the
People are like but also the architecture what it looks like is very similar oh really yeah okay I love that the brick and the the wet streets the Cobblestone yeah tough place to live historically a great place to do stand up because of it yeah oh right right
Yeah but that’s that’s how it goes we’ve spoke about that a million times like the the rougher a city is the best of the audience 100 Buffalo New York great crowds [ __ ] town is that just because there’s nothing up there there’s nothing up there and they’re real people they
Need a laugh you know they and they’re not going to get upset or offended they’re not gonna come out to analyze your act they’re just like I I work in a mill you know I hate my kids give me some some zingers is that one in seriously Buffalo one of
The places top of your list that’s just like Billy yeah all of that but I’ve done Hawaii tough crowds quiet crowd it’s Hawaii and then you’re absolutely ripping it I have anxiety and they’re like huh right who’s that what are you talking about I mean Maui changed everything but uh
Maybe now they’ll be better audiences if only the other fit yeah that place is lit that’s the yellow card take it do you know what I’m really [ __ ] up myself for Hawaii though Hawaii please do make it to the show I’ll be there in 2033. I’m dead before I
Play Hawaii just have natural causes by the way higher suicide rate in America Hawaii you know why because if you’re not happy there you’re like there’s nowhere to go I genuinely believe there’s something to that like nice places always have like high depression and suicide rates that’s
Because a lot of people go there because they’re like that’ll fix me yeah and then it doesn’t yeah exactly yeah I’ve been having a bad day and someone tries to cheer you up and it doesn’t work and it makes your day worse because you actually know like less happy but
Because what would normally cheer you up didn’t you haven’t been shocked off when you’re miserable and you’re just I actually know we’re like this is a horrible day sometimes I get halfway through and go love I’m just too tired I’m just not I’m just not feeling it I don’t want to take
It up to the next level right I honestly I didn’t know this Theory I’m not sure you do but I love the theory that if it’s a nice place and you feel sad there’s like you might as well just stop yourself I was like Sweden got a high
Suicide rates because that’s been so happy yeah but it’s dark all the time check the Maldives if people are topping themselves in the Maldives but no one lives in them all these people go on holidays to the Maldives don’t they this is the main island but then the the
Archipelagos that’s all sort of so live in a [ __ ] and keep hope on your side there you go if you live in a [ __ ] if you grow up in a [ __ ] surrounded by people who are having a rough time everything’s all right because you’re
Like oh I’m having a bad day my life’s a piece of [ __ ] and then you see one of your neighbors walking down the streets having a way of stayed in Union like you know what I could be Julie so yeah you’re I think you’re right I’m with you
Europe other than Russia uh is Belgium is the highest one Belgium sucks yeah we just did antwer but it was so I mean look it’s beautiful and the people were very nice but it it was boring as [ __ ] there was nothing to do yeah they’re not
A real country that’s why they’re top of themselves I’ve said it before I think genuinely like South Korea is high up Lithuania and South Africa huh they’re Rogue ones aren’t they yeah but South Korea is higher than North Korea isn’t that fascinating yeah North Korea I don’t think they’re reporting it we have
Had one suicide right would you go to North Korea then I’d love to go to North Korea yeah great patreon special let’s get it booked in Kim Jong what are we on now we’re on um Kim Jong it’s Kim Jong-un Kim Young dunelm King young is it is someone dead
Anyway because that’s a great name it’s a textile Shop King John dunelm yeah go [ __ ] it there’s not I don’t I don’t know if I’m gonna get out I don’t really you don’t get out if you go you go yeah it sounds like the [ __ ] they don’t
Let people leave the tourist board you can’t North Korea if you come you come yeah unlike him you can go on trips yeah you can you just have to get a Visa no you can’t you can’t yes you don’t just move to North Korea and just get shot
Instantly and like hidden in the cupboard people have got out Ottawa if you’re there without their without their consent you get done as a spy I literally looked into it a few weeks ago for what you can go on trips yeah you know what that is yeah he got
In trouble though yeah he died yeah all right okay yeah it looks like Adam’s Road they invite celebrities as well the same thing you and Dennis Rodman what a great mix build yes also it would do the podcast good because he’s blue pigs aren’t racist they’ve got Dennis
Rodman on oh I’m doing a podcast With You Frank you don’t want to do a podcast full of drug-based regret and [ __ ] pieces they invite celebrities because you can go on trips it’s like these insane uh tallest travel balls do we it’s not like you don’t just
Get like easy Jets it’s a mad thing oh really oh yeah yeah yeah that makes sense individual tourists are not permitted to enter North Korea they have to go with like a company that’s what I’m saying a government assigned mine that’s what I’m saying it’s a tall thing it’s
Chernobyl’s the same you can’t fly to Ukraine and go I’m gonna go to Chernobyl you have to go with a special group yeah dodgy sir guy yeah yeah you get you’re going to be buzzing a little bit one eye won’t work for a while A hundred percent I would it’s like on the moon any wow those travel companies are ran by the North Korean government oh [ __ ] even better yeah the mode never happened oh no I’m just kidding I’m just kidding I don’t want to get this guy a boner don’t but don’t rev these [ __ ]
Conspiracy theories I don’t fully believe the moon landings did nothing you know sarcasm is illegal in North Korea fun fact it’s also illegal on a Premier League football pitch now did you get a book for that yeah you get booked for sarcasm if you like oh yeah
Yeah booked yeah North Korea get shot [Laughter] so excited I dribble on the microphone hey nice moment isn’t it what would you go would you go and explore I know they control it obviously every comic World you’d go and do a show in North Korea oh yeah yeah
Well tell us a group this is the group we definitely wouldn’t get back what an awful caveat to work with Mark Norman yeah he wants you to gig with him in North Korea everyone else just said we’ve actually got it we’ve got the ball rolling on a prison gig
What yeah we’re gonna try and do a gig in a prison oh cool yeah would you do that yeah hell yeah yeah oh man ah weirdest gig weirdest sort of rather than play small sort of like venue what have you got you’ve been doing what’s done about 20 years that’s
16 yeah and uh I do a lot of corporate gigs I don’t know why they keep hiring me you know half my ex about the Holocaust you know and I’m doing a gig for a big company with HR and everything and I I have never done well not once
I’ve probably done 500 of them they’ve all been horrible whoa I’ve done The Tonight Show and stuff and Seinfeld gave me a shout out so I think they’re like oh this guy is squeaky clean or whatever but it ain’t pretty yeah but those corporate gigs don’t go
Well for anybody really okay but I feel better there’s a few old old boys that know what to do oh yeah but I don’t think they love it but they still don’t kill it they just don’t bomb completely yeah I suppose so like they never no one
Ever comes away from a corporate going you know what keep the money I I enjoy myself so much there I did a new bit yeah it’s really weird I just did a new 15. that like is normally I I think the corporate work in the UK at least is the
Reason I used to do them was if I did five to eight of them a year they’re my earnings as a Club Karma core topped up enough yes that that I was comfortable and okay yeah as soon as I was touring and selling tickets and making money that way they have to go
Way above I got asked to a corporate last week and I asked for four times what I’d have done it for like two years ago and they were like oh we’ll get back to you they haven’t got back to me yet but if they don’t give me
That I’m not doing it because I don’t need to do it for what I would do it for it I do five to eight corporates a career so I’ve hit my I remember doing um Castle main forexes an Australian beer I’ve been doing standard over 20
Years yeah and uh it was when I was like first two or three years in where if someone goes listen there’s money and you get to do it for talking you go anywhere yeah and Castle main Forex not even a good beer I’m not even sure it’s
Still a thing but they were doing a promo thing you’re like you get to leave work early we’ll arrange it with your boss you get a year’s supply of castlemaine Forex beer and also a comedian to come to your house and do again I got 500 quid to go to this guy’s house
Weirdly near where I grew up I didn’t live there at the time so I have to drive back to where I’m from and his moment he lived with his mum and dad he was like an 18 19 year old lad his boss that’s um let him out of work all his
Mates turned up after work and on Friday evening they had a barbecue outside and me and I’d say the room had maybe 12 13 people wow to do half an hour because they never just want 15. never they never just want 20. they weren’t like well listen we’re
Paying you 500 quid so do half an hour and I got away with it by basically chatting to them yeah because as soon as you go oh I’m gonna do this stand-up bit now you just stood in a living it looks insane yeah and at one point I was a
Little like a lull and his mum came in and offered everyone’s sausages oh my soul at least you got through it though because that could have been real bad I did I so I did my time within the margin of error yeah you know when
You’re like listen I did 27 and a minute of that was sausages being handed out oh yeah that’s a [ __ ] gig yeah yeah five I could I put them on sure or I’ve told this story before but I might not have um but we’ll do it anyway so any long
Time just as I apologize for any repetition the weirdest gig I ever got booked for as a corporate private gig I got a phone call from the agent and he goes could you go to Cheltenham tonight it was a Monday right and I went uh well
I’ve got a show in Manchester but it’s only like a couple of hundred quids uh it goes yeah try and cancel that because this one’s five grand on a Monday night in Cheltenham which is about a three hour drive okay damn so I go cool yeah
And he Rings about he goes yeah that’s confirmed it’s a it’s a a load of lads who are going on a shoot tomorrow they’re going uh pheasant hunting and tonight there’s 30 of them and they’re gonna have a dinner tonight and you’re gonna do a set they want to scouse her
To practice their their aim Christian have you used this company before who’s booking me and he goes no this is the first job I went does this sound a bit mental to you like a prank and he goes yeah I suppose I understand what you’re saying we’re going get them to pay up
Front and okay I get there I pull up and it’s this huge mansion townhouse and a guy comes out he’s in a suit like really well dressed but beard he looks a bit like he’s obviously not one of the guys and he goes yeah I’m from the agency we booked you
Um uh yeah coming they’re just finishing their dinner now and then they’re gonna go into the lounge and that’s where you’re gonna do the set and I went right in this 30 of them and he goes oh no no no there’s 30 of them tomorrow these are
The six guys who are Rangers the six of them I went well he goes yeah there’s just six of them and he said I’ll show you now the room you’re gonna do it and so there’s three sofas like a smaller than one you’re on two seats on each and
There’s uh one here one here one there yeah and they’re all round the fireplace and he goes you’re gonna stand in front of the fireplace and do your set it goes the butler’s gonna introduce you so the bottom goes in and goes uh gentlemen I require you undivided
Attention for comedian Adam Rowe and I walk onto the sound of me on footsteps and I’m still on this fireplace and I just start I had a joke about the meat jacket that I used to open every set with I’ve got a Blazer on so I’m doing
That joke about the Blazer and uh one of the guys goes oh what shops the jacket from where did you get it and I go oh that’s what the joke’s I was asking about it’s from Primark and he was okay Carry On he goes it’s just that he owns
Top man and looks at the other guy next time I was like all right cool anyway this is from primer and I go into that one I go to do something else and one of the oh one of the other guys asks another question and they just keep
Doing it so in the end I just go right I’ve got to do 25 minutes for this money and I don’t care how I get through that 25 minutes I’ll just answer the questions and that eats up time too 100 so I just keep answering every question
They ask and they don’t stop at any point about 15 minutes in I didn’t don’t don’t do the full time the butler comes in a different door and goes gentlemen that concludes I’m in the middle of a setup gentleman that concludes this evening’s comedy we now have a musician
Who’s going to perform in the smoking room uh and please follow me through there where did you get your cello question they all stand up and come over and shake me and and they go oh well done well done lad well done wow and I
Go well done I don’t feel like I’ve done any jokes to be honest mate and one of them Palms me a 50 pound note on top of the fee I’m getting and he goes we do this every year and every year we get a comedian and just try and ask them
Questions until they snap [Laughter] it goes you’re only the third person who’s ever made it the full thing we’ve been doing this 20 years John Bishop walked off after 10 minutes and we never paid him wow you’re the Pheasant yeah they were hunting you what are they
Gonna do to the musician we get a musician every year yeah he’s [ __ ] the trumpets now it’s R Kelly [Laughter] the the weird gig saying this isn’t my story but this is so funny so in a Newcastle there’s a comedian from there called Jason cook and he’s a real local Legend up there because he’s ran shows for years and he also wrote and starred in a sitcom about the area
Um and the lead and the sitcoms of any famous comedian from Newcastle called Chris Ramsey so as they’re shooting this series two of uh Heaven the name of the sitcom the production get a phone call one day and it’s from someone saying we want Chris Ramsey’s to come and turn the
Christmas lights on yeah and this is the fee and it was really nominal it was like 500 quid right so they’re like little Chris is not going to do that for that money so it’s not going to happen so they ring back and they go can we
Have Jason cook who’s the guy who wrote it can we have Jason coming to it if Chris can’t do it how about Jason Jason’s like I’m not telling the Christmas lights on for 500 quid there’s a guy in the sitcom is a bit parse and
He’s a comic who’s been gone for a very long time uh called Stefan Petty and Stefan over here and he goes I’ll go and I’ll go and do it [ __ ] it I’ll do it so Stefan takes her for a few hundred quid thinking he’s turning on the Christmas
Lights in Newcastle it was just someone who was a fan of the show and wanted someone to reach behind their TV and turn their Christmas tree on so Stefan had to go to someone’s house and turn on someone’s Christmas lights Honest Tree they were they were loaded it’s not just
Like someone from the council house oh my God 500 quit that do that yeah so funny it’s just so funny he had to literally reach behind the TV and uh well I mean I’ve got one but I’ve told us before but I’ll make it quick
Did a gig at the comedy seller this guy in a suit comes up to me goes I own a hedge fund company will you come roast my whole staff I saw your act it’s edgy it’s fun I go sure he goes it’ll be five grand I go holy [ __ ] I’m like three
Years in a comedy this is the best money I’ve ever made so he goes here’s the address it’s a country club Upstate New York so I take the train and he gave me notes like this is what’s going on going on with this guy this was up this guy this guy’s got
This this guy’s like that so I got all this ammo I got some great stuff all stuff he gave me I wrote a ton of roast jokes we go up there it’s Lamborghinis it’s Ferraris I mean this is high-end [ __ ] it’s on a golf course get into this
Club white tablecloths Butlers with the white suit the whole thing the guy goes up okay we got some entertainment you know and everybody sits down everybody’s wife’s wives are there kids are there it’s a big deal and he goes we’re gonna have a comic from
New York City Roast everybody so I go in and I grab the mic you know feedback and I go uh Hey and he he said be vicious be as vicious as possible so I was like oh this is gonna be a fish in a barrel so I
Go hey Bob we all know you’re gay and his wife’s there she’s like I knew it and the kids are crying and I’m like oh that went weird all right all right so when I look back at my notes that he gave me and I’m like all right well how
About you Jeff everybody knows you’re doing blow you say You’re Sober we know you’re addicted to blow and he’s like oh shut up what are you doing my sponsor whatever so he flips out he runs away and then I’m like hey uh hey Chris everybody knows you’re cheating on your
Wife and she’s like ah so the whole thing is just Mayhem people are leaving people are fighting they’re screaming kids are crying the ladies are pissed and I just keep going and it’s just more and more [ __ ] no one’s laughing and eventually I go into my ACT which that
Doesn’t work once you you there’s like a riot going on in this dinner the dinner ball and I was like so cereal’s weird you know and uh just eating [ __ ] and then the guy eventually I’ve been up there like eight minutes and the guy pushed me off and he was like all right
That’s enough of the show and then uh he barely he didn’t want to pay me but I got paid and I got out of there [ __ ] me yeah but they always say be vicious they always say go for it and they never mean it you yeah my favorite thing is when I
Whenever I do a corporate I always go is there any language that’s not okay and they’re like no you can say whatever everything and I go so I can say [ __ ] and they go no no no you can’t say exactly right so there is way in so can
I have a list of the ones yes otherwise I will say them because you’ve told me how to say anything yeah yeah which is the way it called it’s just the noise yeah but the guy there’s someone in charge of these things and they’re like we love a bit of Comedy
You’re like yeah you don’t speak for the 350 boring [ __ ] in this room exactly that’s why I won’t do a wedding people keep asking me oh will you come and do our wedding I’m like no because you and your wife might be a fan that’s it but
Your grandmother isn’t yeah I I did a wedding in Long Island and the wife surprised the husband at his wedding at their wedding with me and none of the other people at the wedding knew who I was so they’re just sitting there and the husband’s like whoa this guy and I’m
Bombing for everyone else so there’s just one groom going and so I’m like oh you know what’s up with uh if AIDS you know and and it’s it’s I’m ruining this whole wedding I’m like marriage is stupid you know it was it was bad I also did the VMAs I hosted
For the or warmed up for the VMAs and bombed in front of 5 000 people Ariana Grande’s walking by and uh that was brutal oh that’s tough though because it’s music in it yeah and then you’re like what am I doing who’s the most famous person you performed in front of
Uh Madonna wow probably yeah I hope for Amy Schumer at Madison Square Garden and Madonna was had a wild hair up her ass and said I want to do comedy so she came and went on after me and did five minutes and sucked which was fun to watch because you’re like whoa there’s
Madonna I did better than her obviously she’s a very talented woman but yeah five minutes needs tightening up yeah yeah bad wow um just before we go into a break I wasn’t going to tell the story but yeah I broke it out maybe I’ve got two uh and I don’t
Think we’ve sold this one before Stefan Petty Christmas I was thinking you’re gonna tell the story so Stefan who I love really good mates of mine is a really big guy like really huge his big bone heavy structure I had him I had him
Booked once to come and do a show for me at the University in Liverpool and he called me on the day and was like uh mate I’m not gonna [ __ ] make it I’m not gonna make it to the show he’s African [Laughter] like why what’s up and he goes I [ __ ]
I put my car in for a timot and it hasn’t passed so they’ve given me a courtesy car and I don’t fit in it I can’t get the car on too big for the cars got this course how big are we talking here oh he’s a
Big guy he didn’t fit in a car yeah oh was it a Mini Cooper or was it a regular car it was a monster truck it was lovely by the way you’re right you’re enjoying this loud he’s great um yeah great time should have a little break what’s happening Lids our wait
Time to tell you about my absolute favorite sponsor the best in the game manscaped .com then an OG sponsored they’ve been with us for years now and that’s because you guys love their products just as much as we do and we’re 20 as the promo code you get 20 off and
Free worldwide shipping to the best in men’s below the belts and facial grooming what have you got there lab uh uh this is the handyman now I’ve got the lawnmower 4.0 which is phenomenal technology for your pubs and they’ve got the beard trimmer now as well yeah but then what about the rest
What about the rest of the face I’ve got beard and then it doesn’t quite do everything look at this a man on the I’m I’ve got a beard so the the Hedge the Hedge trim is the one what if you’re fully clean shaving but you don’t like
The wet shave get the handyman you can do a wet shave or a dry shave with that as well shut up it’s absolutely unbelievable amazing amazing bit of Kit don’t buy crap presents for your dad anymore you know like your brother-in-law you’re like oh what we getting him for his birthday or
Christmas get him some [ __ ] manscape Christmas is coming up get them some manscape products or maybe you’re a goth Halloween’s coming up yeah some presents for Halloween yeah Goths don’t have pubes well they sure enough no we’re at 20. oh yes sorry yeah we’re 20. 20 cents off free well by chipping yeah
Even forgot how many sections how many sections four or four I’ve lost counts four or four uh follow four now thanks for coming in Mark yeah we’ve got some questions from our listeners are wonderful uh producer Finn is uh he’s prepared them he’s sifted through them
He’s picked out the best of the best and if they are [ __ ] and they don’t work as a good content it’s his fault hey hey Finn if you get tired join reading out the prep you should try sneak flavors great loads what flavor is that don’t specific yeah this is uh this one
It’s like a fruity one they’re all fruit it’s blueberry it’s blueberry bomb right it’s a special edition right okay the Russell Brand thank you I started regretting that as I was still saying his name we’re gonna start off with some Simple Pleasures yeah all right gerbils oh my God Bring It On
Kiss Me Baby One of the highest ranking Nazis that is yeah there is one way to sleep here is seconds of the worst thing ever yeah yeah yeah all right hop back on that train sir right this is pretty straightforward Mark whether you think this is a simple pleasure or whether you think this
Person who’s written in is a simpleton that’s that’s all we’re doing okay wait I don’t know if I get it okay and they say my little simple pleasure in life is this but sometimes Mark some of our listeners they’re [ __ ] stupid so they’re writing really stupid suggestions and then we [ __ ] all over
Their suggestions okay it’s a high wire act so the first one is from Paddy he says simple pleasure having the house to yourself yeah oh yeah oh that’s nice that’s nice yeah is a married guy or you have roommates oh it’s Chris Rock would
Say you get one of that you get one of those uh ain’t no one at home jerks yeah you know yeah yeah yeah I am moving around I live alone so I obviously don’t really get that right now but I understand that I will one day and I’ll
Tell you I don’t know I’ve just been on holiday for the week my wonderful girlfriend and you know fantastic having her there but there was a few times every day where she would just [ __ ] off for a sunbathe oh leave me alone yes and now oh no that’s the best
I’m trying to go over it I’m gonna go for some bathing wreath I’m gonna stay right where we are right now then you’re going over there and there’s no guilt about it no at home sit on your phone really hard they were not on
Holiday on your own wow I want to see it again in 15 minutes we went to Tenerife we went on a week’s holiday I did this all week and you’re [ __ ] seven [ __ ] wives where are you we’re at the pool I was having such a good
Time thank you yeah we went on a with the full company they’re here we all went on a holiday together oh wow and the entire week we didn’t see him in the daytime what happened he went the beach on his own every day for the whole day [Laughter]
It was great you went to your own holiday yeah I made friends with the local there was a Thai woman who wants to rub your feet yeah same thing yeah you love the person you love the people but the one hour just sitting there doing whatever you want to do I totally
Agree very nice six hours but yes we’re on the same place right next one from Max Verlander when you go into a public toilet and they have pet Max Verlander oh nice uh when you go into a public toilet and they have paper towels to dry your hands instead of shoes
Love it hey do you know what I really like the option of both hand dryer and paper towels you’re a really good hotel when it’s not a hand towel it like a paper towel it’s an actual towel yeah they have a bucket on the floor for you so you wipe it on and
You throw it in the bucket and they get washed that’s a pheasant shooting gig right there that’s high-end [ __ ] over there but yes what about you guys in the UK you got that weird Roller One the roll I hit the Rollie I’m just seeing all the dreams like blood I hate the
Rollie the cheese and balls well I’m just like I see everything that’s been rubbed off I’m like give me my own towel yeah I don’t want this uh reoccurring it sort of goes back in yeah what do you mean the cloth yes yes and it just hangs
Down and goes back in I’m like wait am I just regurgitating yeah that’s they’re trapped that that’s for tourists together oh it got me yeah that’s how we get your DNA yeah I clipped all over that thing but I hate that right it’s really good that one
Good one the little thing oh my god I’ve just I haven’t thought about that [ __ ] thing never ending tea towels it just disappears like don’t worry right the next one’s from Steph she says buying something you always wanted as a kid but never got for example I just bought a
Nintendo Wii as a 29 year old single woman wow marry this woman I love this lady she’s a keeper playing tennis with herself you did this yesterday what oh yes yesterday oh yeah you better we oh I bought a little uh little Warhammer space model when I was about 12 13.
Apart from all the [ __ ] I was getting I was uh playing Warhammer and it was like a um a role play game and you had a lot of figures and I stopped playing it when I found my first pubic hair and yesterday we walked past the shop and um
Now things are going all right yeah and I wandered in you know under the guise of playing a you know messing around and came out with a 25 pound figurine good for you it looks great it’s going in the garden office with all the other [ __ ] my
Wife doesn’t want in the house is there anything that’s on any of your lists of things you wanted as a kid a baby Belford or I mean I know this is a really extravagant version of it but the car I’ve got I’ve got a Range Rover oh I always
Wanted a ranger for you yeah this one’s tough for me because I can’t really buy a dad laughs you relate cow same hey little baby all right okay last one I was gonna say I can’t buy a half Chinese sister but I reckon if I looked into enough
Republican oh you could get that maybe you get a Chinese dad at the same time really good food oh okay yeah there you go just translated right Declan McGarity says simple pleasure maybe a bit sick but I love seeing people run for the bus and miss it
Anyone try and achieve anything and fail just slightly phenomenal that’s very British you guys you guys are cynical that is the best watching someone over to you can’t get to stop for the light and you pull up next and I’m like oh man no I don’t I don’t love that I
Feel bad for the bus person now now you’re a good person I do not I will I rode the bus for years so did we but it could be like a lady going to work like a cleaning lady and she’s like I need the money that’s my job I would be late
I might get fired it should have been early all right all right maybe she got eight kids at home people want money they’ll turn up earlier and then I’ll shoot pheasants I’m watching someone get that close like ah the tube in London’s a good one for that
Yeah because it’s not that big an inconvenience that’s true okay that’s better when they Sprint yeah when they spring down the stairs excuse me excuse me excuse me Again when you spend pasture and you get on the same train you’re like you’re like what yeah you ever have the thing where you barely catch it the doors are closing you run on and you feel like a king and everybody’s like yeah who cares you want to go to pause but that’s
Really funny as well when you sprint onto a tube and then the dust and they stay open for about a minute yes yes like you could have got that one you could have crawled and got the one you got on yeah yeah right we’re gonna do
The opposite now so we’re gonna do pet peeves I love it right this one is from Killian when you’re in the shower that’s connected to the rest of the house and someone flushes the toilet or turns on the sink making your shower freezing cold say a simple pleasure for me is knowing
That you’re in someone’s obviously does that and when they’re in the shower going and flushing the toilet yeah yeah and then you hear just like a faint yeah ours doesn’t lose heat it just sort of goes better weaker yeah it’s not fully it’s not like it doesn’t hurt you or
Right irritating flaccid I’ll give yeah I I I’ll be in the shower and go I’ll shall turn the Taps off because it’s just dribbling on my head and then she’ll turn it off yeah yeah Thomas Greene another comic stayed in my flat with me a couple of months ago and
There’s two showers there’s one in the ensuite room and one in the the master bathroom yeah I would like we’ll get ready and then we’ll go for uh breakfast and I come out and was and he was just still sat on the couch and I was like
Why aren’t you getting ready I thought I couldn’t use that shower until you were done with that one I was like what would be the point of having two showers if you can only use one of them at a time it’s a very solid uh he goes I just
Thought they’d be connected because like you know normally whatever building you know if someone’s using the water you can’t use the water I was like Thomas is a 14th floor apartment block like do you think of someone’s having a [ __ ] on the sixth floor I can’t have a shower
I’m waiting two weeks to have a [ __ ] show right this one’s from Morgan Smith pet peeve for you when you’re at a concert or a music gig and everyone in front of you has their phone out to record the whole thing rather than actually watching it yeah that’s a
Classic I don’t know who it’s for right I I get this at the match as well the match it’s even worse for me when I go to a football game right when like people record every corner or penalties or whatever I understand someone at a concert taken uh you know a 20 second
Video to put on that Instagram to be like yes I went here tonight yes right but when people record an extended part of it they’re never gonna sit and watch it again because why wouldn’t they just put that song on yeah and at the match when someone’s like recording a penalty
I’m like you do know Sky Sports have got you covered here yeah like they’re recording it from a much better camera angle like on a much better camera you will still get to say to people I see in that penalty I don’t know who’s it I
Don’t know who or what it’s for I think there should be a limit a gig of how much you can record because you’re allowed you’re allowed to do A Chorus of two songs one of my mates went to a festival and did a 45 second like oh
We’re here bands on and you can’t really hear and like it’s not a great angle and then reposted like for virtually every act oh their Instagram for like two days was just like the whole [ __ ] running oh you gotta break up with that Jesus Mark have you done many of the shows
Because we went to see Chappelle and Brock when they did a double headline in Liverpool wow um and they had the the pouches for the phone yes have you performed at many of those shows and are they better the comedy seller only does the pouches and it’s so freeing because even when you
Slip up or say something super crazy you know when a dark bit is new yeah when a dark bit is new it’s ugly yeah you know so it just sounds like you’re being racist or sexist or whatever so you just have that moment of like ah nobody
Nobody could ever even they have to tell somebody and I won’t get in trouble there’s no proof yeah so it’s very comforting yeah there’s a concept there’s nowhere um they’re gonna start geotagging the area of a gig and your phone will only like use like 10 minutes
Of your camera while you’re there so I have future thing on phones that’s incredible yeah wow so I got the top like you’ve used your video you’ve used your camera for eight minutes you’ve got two minutes left oh for that yeah that’s superb I went to the Arsenal game and it
Was amazing I gotta say never been to a football game and I felt weird point no one there are all these die-hard psycho guys who are just drunk and angry and I pulled my phone out for like eight seconds and I saw a bunch of weird
Glances and I put that [ __ ] away yeah quick where’s the Arsenal Tottenham game Dutch yeah I got some some stink guys yeah so I tucked that in I’m already The Outsider you know the only time I take a photo at a Liverpool game is like if I’m
In the ground way early oh so like if I’m in long before everyone else I’ll take a photo of like where I’m from where I’m sat before the players anywhere near the pitch the second the players are not my phone does not feel weird it feels weird yeah I hate it the
Only video you’ve taken at the football is of the guy playing Candy Crush yeah oh yeah what who’s playing Candy Crush it wasn’t Candy Crush it was uh like a racing game like a really high-end racing game artist check must have been make the most the whole game wow so and
Like I really struggled to get a ticket for that game so it means he’s paid through the nose for the ticket and he was Sat one row in front of me playing wow and I’m watching the match and I just clocked it and I was like that’s
Meant a lot oh yeah and then I thought that’s weird but maybe in like two minutes maybe he’s gotta like take off something maybe places every day yeah and it’s like a two minute thing like an hour later we’re still doing it so I just recorded it and put
The only way that could be crazier if he was playing FIFA yeah we’re gonna have a confession to around us so uh we got people writing in they tell us something they’ve done wrong and we decide whether they should be forgiven or we give them some Penance like the Lord got it so
I think this is one of the best ones we’ve ever had oh a lot of pressure on you a kid hello Lids I can’t stress how much this needs to be anonymous basically for the last three years I’ve been having an on and off affair with a
Woman I used to work with we’ve been on business trips away with each other and it’s basically led to a second life my wife has never found out or even had a real inkling and the affair has been passionate and steamy to the point where I’ve recently been thinking of leaving
My wife the past week the woman I was having an affair with has died oh sorry is this true or is this Hassan I’m completely beside myself oh they don’t know the story okay I do that I really love that carry on I’m completely beside myself but I can’t tell anyone I
Can’t even go to the funeral as her family never knew what do I do uh this is a [ __ ] [ __ ] show wow yeah before we get into it you can go to the funeral you did know her what you used to work oh what yeah but on your own it
Looks a bit no it doesn’t no have you yeah you can go to female yeah I wouldn’t cry yeah like go but don’t cry I don’t go I wouldn’t waggle I wouldn’t masturbate no it’s not what they want imagine being that sad than not being able to like tell you what who died
His his mistress yeah wow that worked out he got out of it even his wife he was gonna leave his wife for this woman oh she’s died and he can’t tell anyone that he’s grieving he’s screaming he got off easy he should be glad she died I
Mean because he’s now he doesn’t have to worry about it he can he’s done yeah he’s never gonna get caught because she’s dead until he I mean he told us but I I think this is the best thing ever I mean sure he said but what’s worse get caught or
The dead wife or The Dead Girlfriend he’s like you’re really upset because she’s died and you have to make up a person to be sad about yes so-and-so’s died who uh Betty White yeah from the factory you don’t know him he’s not at any of the events on Dave yeah so he
Would have rather the wife die sounds like yeah then the girlfriend yeah that would have actually been more ideas yeah that’s the easy ghetto because he’s like oh I’ve moved on the leader in the clubhouse died damn yeah it’s just gonna cause a bit more debate should we do
Another one then yeah sorry right hey let’s go by the way he needs Penance he’s been cheating on his wife so yeah so the parent says she’s dead that is yeah yeah that’s Karma he’s leaving his penis no he’s got to go to the funeral
He’s got to go to the funeral dressed as and he’s as the Grim Reaper no he’s got to go to the funeral and at some point during the service he’s got to loudly make a joke oh like that’s what she said yeah when the police says something okay right
Hayley’s got a confession I was once accidentally racist on a flight basically I was traveling to Germany for a work trip with some colleagues the tickets were booked by the company I worked for I got on the plane first out of my co-workers and sat in my seat the
Middle seat the other co-workers sat in the row behind me with the middle seat empty I thought I was in the wrong seat I saw an Asian Couple come down the plane together the woman sits next to me and the man sits in the seat behind I
Asked the woman next to me if she’d want me to swap with her partner but they didn’t know each other do I deserve Penance he was trying to be nice though I give that a pass I think you’re absolutely fine I think that’s complete you’re okay yeah like you didn’t mean it
You know what I mean there’s no hater involved you were trying to be nice My Accidental racism is the best what’s yours not the best but there are tell Mark you’re accidental racism you sell it better than me go on so Carl before he worked with us here it was the
Manager of a comedy club ah the best his job as manager was occasionally to seat the audience as they come in so two people arrived late and they’re like we’re really sorry we’re late and he was like well look the show has started but
I’ll be able to get you in the room just very dark room just there you know you know I can’t just remember this story so he goes like just come with me and he goes right just take those two seats over there by the wall and the person
Who’s trying to see goes there’s no seats over there and he goes there is right there there’s nobody sat there oh and he was putting the two black people sat in the corner well you know if they weren’t smiling you don’t get the teeth but after comedians felt not mine
Yeah good point if you stay on his job yeah also they were probably wearing black yeah I’m like this is like the it’s a it’s a not a very well lit room at all it’s yeah it’s a comedy club sure yeah I get it yeah that’s that’s worse than the plain one
Who’s the playing guy off the hook completely off the hook you tried to do something nice racism is only a problem if there’s hatred behind it yeah generally experience I agree Michael Che has a whole bit about him taking a photo with two white people and they wouldn’t
Put the flash on because they’re like we don’t want to be racist and he’s like you have to put the flash yeah I want be in the picture if you don’t put the flash on so that’s a great bit but it’s the same thing yeah it was dark there’s
No intentions though yeah uh ladies and gentlemen that rounds us out uh this week’s episode thank you so much for listening as always I am on tour at the minute Adam wrote a code at UK he’s on tour at the minute Dan nightingale.com Mark Normand thank you so much for
Coming in mate uh tell people where they can find you online is it just at Mark Normand um Mark Norm markdorman comedy.com podcast Instagram tour the whole thing is it the YouTube podcast still is it we might be drunk and Tuesdays with stories hey nailed it you know more about me than my
Father so I appreciate it and yeah thanks for having me this is this was a blast thanks so much lots of great comic if you haven’t checked out your specials check out his specials as well and we’ll see you all next week we’ve got a bit of
Music wait I’ve got to choose this week just for the audio it’s from Anthony Russell oh nice so this is his new single called may I say nice good see you later
46 Comments
I know he's just an ordinary guy but seeing Mark with a Neros and imagining him going in and ordering is making me non-weirdly excited.
oh they get a plaghh
As a Canadian Smiths fan I gotta say Manchester's done a couple of things right…
aww Mark seems so cynical to Americans and like such a sweetheart surrounded by Brits hahaha
People literally go to north korea Adam talks so much shit it’s getting hard to watch
Those Brand accusations better not be coming off just Jim Jefferies' tales because he got caught in a lie publically before.
Mark Normand at @1:02:00
Was watchin “boiling point” the new series last night an adam literally looks like tha scouse fella whos in it ahahahah
Please get Ryan long when he's in the UK
This could’ve been great but Adam’s relentless talking and unfunny gibberish meant Mark never got out the blocks, tho tbf he was probably minging from the night before. Still thanks Adam for reminding me why I stopped listening.
Just following my promise to click on anything Mark Normand in it and was pleasantly surprised. I will be watching more eps.
I love these "Dan tries food" sections … it's so epic 😎
Answer to the pet peeve with the shower get a thermostatic shower 😂
1:02:17
Do the scousers really wana float of and join ireland? Is it that deep 😂
Mark is the funniest comedian alive
Poor form from Karl didn’t even give it the old RIP when talking about Peter Whittingham the best midfielder to ever grace the championship 👎
Nice pod, but the guess doesn't get to talk much. Maybe adjust a little bit when big guest come on.
Mark starts at 1:02:17
1hr and 2 mins is when Mark is there 👍
I love have a werd! Comedy!
This will be so surreal to watch, f'in Kevin Hart on the show, let's go ya queefs!
Where’s mi lucky charms
Clowns
1:17:56 came here for mark not these losers, stopped listening after the Russell Brand. Peace out fuckers 🖕😂
1:02:27 Mark if ya only here for Kevin Heart
Man these guys sound hilarious and I ain’t talkin bout derrr jokes 😂
Adam is becoming a bigger ⛑️ by the week. Always trying to out do the guest.
No one cares mate. Let them speak.
A Tuesgay here – wahooo! ❤ mark 💦
My argument against your suicide theory is Bridgend
Comedy
Wtf is that Adam on about acting like Liverpool talks so differently every town city county sounds different and has their own thing why so scousers think they are unique and why are they up Americans arse
Scousers are the equivalent to Texans in America and fairplay….."were scouse not British" and boo the bullshit national anthem!!! 💪 YNWA!!
No wonder the Yanks think we're weird…..😀
These are some strong accents for an American to get. Good on Mark.
Do alot of British people wear American sports teams merch or just these guys?
Doner kebab flavour pot noodle is the king! 58:27
I thought mark normand was on this podcast?
I would have been very surprised if Mark knew what ‘belta scran’ meant 😂
I just got lulled into listening to these guys talk for about 10 minutes and gun to head couldn’t tell you one thing they spoke about
1:02:20
What’s the story with theses and Russel brand ?
Mark shouting out Buffalo was cool. I’ve been up here for like 8 years and have seen him every time he’s been through, he always murders
Something tells me Russell Brand smashed this dude’s girl 🤔
1:02:18 y’welc
Dan tries food helped me realize how we are all big babies about something