The 7 Worst Football Chants

From Chelsea fans monotonously shouting the name of their club on repeat to Major League Soccer capos creating a raucous atmosphere at Seattle Sounders, HITC Sevens takes a look at some of football’s worst songs and chants.

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Is 6’2 he will do you it’s o o o o good rude it’s o o o o good rude he’s oliv oliv oliv G he was 6’2 he will do you when he scores past you you’ll go to the he 6’2 he will do you it’s only only

Rude it’s only only only rude he will score past you you will need the L it’s only only only girl it’s only only rude he’s a gunner he’s a gun it’s o o o o good rude o o o o girl rude wow there is a lot to unpack there I would

Understand if some of you needed a moment much like the finest works of nature or Hemingway the author is Punchy concise and economical in his Pros packing an awful ODOT in to what is only actually 16 stanzas in 43 seconds so like a gcsc English teacher getting a

Chub on over the symbolism of a drinking disinfectants in an inspector course let’s analyze the form structure and language employed by the author in what I think we can all agree it wouldn’t be too grandiose a term to describe as a masterpiece we start by establishing

That the protagonist is a 6’2 in male his height presumably constituting a key characteristic to the narrative later on otherwise why would it be the first thing that we find out about him Bazinga that exactly what the author wanted you to think that is the first booby trap

That you’ve Fallen straight into but believe me it won’t be the last still in the first stanza we discover that the unidentified male is going to do you which sounds rather menacing though no further details are provided cleverly there the author allows the reader or listener to let the romance Wonder in

Regard to what that vague verb May convey next up after doing you and this is an unusual inversion of the traditional form given that it’s typically the other way around the protagonist is revealed to us as a Mr olle ole ole Oly guude and before you

Know it he’s only gone and done you again Mr gude follows that up by scoring pesters which is somewhat unsurprising after he’s already done us twice with his attention now firmly back on the football but less predictable perhaps is the response that is invoked in US namely sending us straight to the toilet

In fairness after I’ve been done twice no less in a single session I do tend to make a visit it’s just good hygiene before you know it Mr gude who is still 6’2 we reminded has done us again beginning what would appear to be an eternal cycle of the protagonist

Imposing his height upon us doing us scoring past us sending us straight to the toilet and then doing us again except Second Time Around we don’t actually get to go to the toilet we just need to go whether our urge for a second toilet visit is ever satisfied isn’t

Specified leaving open the possibility of being stuck in an eternal time Loop but being denied the ability to privately pass fluids at first you could be forgiven for thinking that this is a work of fiction a short piece of dystopian verse in which case it would

Be quite good but it is in fact a football chance about former Arsenal Center forward Olivier jeru I know that because it is titled Olivier giru Arsenal chant in which case it is very bad for a start Olivier jaru is 6’4 so the chance is already wrong just five

Words in and his first name is neither OE nor Oliver as stated nor is his surname gude given that and I did look this up there is no suggestion that jiu’s goals have ever forced an opponent to go to the toilet or even brought about that urge the cynic in me is

Beginning to think that do U and the L were only used because they rhyme with 6’2 and given that as we’ve already established jiru isn’t 6’2 he’s 6’4 the entire rhyming couplet upon which the chance is based is not only nonsensical but based upon a fundamental lie so that

Is a bad football chance and now that I’ve spent more than 3 minutes dunking on an 11 year-old video of someone who probably wasn’t much older than that when they recorded it how very brave of You Are it is time to get into the subject of today’s video which happly is terrible

Chance now the guud will do you so hard that you’ll soil yourself classic never made it as far as the Terrace is at the Emirates at least as far as I’m aware and nor did this one Oliver Jude Oliver Jude we love you Jude when he gets past your you’re

Screwed but some just as tragic rallying cries have I mean as bad as the giru gold defecate chant might have been it’s probably preferable to when Arsenal fans sang it should have been you it should have been you shot in Angola it should have been you and Emanuel adabor a

Reference to when three people were killed and a further nine injured in a terrorist attack on Togo’s team bus at the 2010 African Cup of Nations in Angola don’t get me wrong there are still some sick chants sung on The Terraces now but it is fair remarkable

To think how much things have changed just in my lifetime I can remember being in whole city a weighin as a kid that chanted about arson Wenger being a sex offender there was one that was sung against West Ham about all Northerners being wife beaters and all Southerners being homosexuals with the implication

There being that somehow the former was preferable to the latter and even chance taunting Queens Park Rangers fans about the London bombings back in 2005 in which more than 50 people were killed and there were several teams who were much worse offenders than us there is something about football and being

Within a crowd that just causes people’s brains to fall out it’s quite strange really I won’t be including So-Cal tragedy chants in this seven even though they are objectively probably the worst chance because that would be a fairly depressing watch and by the end of it I might have eroded any remaining faith

That you have left in humanity I will still be including some morally dubious ones though just not explicit tragedy chance basically Manchester United fans sing about South Koreans eating dogs and scousers eating rats to park g s simultaneously insulting their Rivals and the home country of one of their own

Players would be eligible but singing about Hillsboro Munich or any of football’s many other disasters would not molded by the Tigers obviously doesn’t feature I said the worst chance not the best right without further Ado and what an intro this has been by the way you

Couldn’t accuse me of being as tur as n or Hemingway here are seven truly Dreadful football chants seventh chela chela chela in the pantheon of terrible chance there is no place better to start than with [Applause] Chelsea it’s important to note in the interest of balance that Chelsea aren’t the only

Club to just shout the name of their team on repeat as if that’s somehow made it a legitimate chance Everton fans do likewise to a slightly different tune something along the lines of Everton Everton Everton and I’m sure you can think of lots of other clubs who who

Do something very similar whole city fans used to chant City All City All City all to the same tune which and I know it’s not much but I at least feel like switching the words from Hull City to City Hull even if that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever is slightly more

Inventive nonetheless whilst others may be at it Chelsea are the worst offenders and there is something about the sheer monotony of the chela chosa ch see chant combined with what I assume is a West London accent I’m from east Yorkshire it’s all foreign to me that makes Chelsea’s iteration sound like a slow

March towards death I suppose that is all that life is just an incessant and guaranteed March towards an evitable nothingness but I don’t go to football to be reminded of that fact any match-going football fan especially those who’ve tried to start a chance which I used to do a lot will be well

Aware of the difficulties of getting people on board with anything that features more than probably about eight words I remember having an entire song for Giovani that was about a minute long and within a week it had just been reduced to the chorus I get that the

Shorter and the easier to remember the more likely it is to catch on but come on let’s have some self-respect surely Chelsea fans can take a 5minute break from being racist on Twitter with a bio that says love the blues Zama 2 kids and come up with something a bit better than

That no oh well the slow March towards death it is then I suppose chela chosa Chelsea Chelsea sixth by far the greatest team my pet peeve in football and I will let you in on a little secret outside of outright racism and abuse I don’t really care that much about what any club

Chance none of this matters at all sorry but but my closest thing to a pep peeve outside of that are the tedious unimaginative chance that about 87 out of the 92 Football League teams in England sing some variation of oh when the saints is much too common that should be reserved solely for

Southampton EI eio up the football league we go though I do have a special affinity for that due to associations with whole cities rise through the divisions in the 2000s and more recently the one that goes we’ve got super Peter suck Cliff he knows exactly what we need

Barie DAV at the back Denise wal in attack and so on and so forth has become way too common to ever be interesting I did change some of the names there so that it wasn’t Club specific I’m not aware of that version ever having been sung and whilst I don’t support what

Sutcliffe davro or Welch did that adaption would at least be a little bit more surprising to hear inside of a football ground the worst offender of all in this cat atory though surely has to be we’re by far the greatest team the world has ever seen and it’s some

Rubbish leag 2 Team some rubbish Le 2 Team FC wh you get the idea not only do about 200 clubs fans sing it therefore rendering it automatically terrible but it’s also a rubbish chant that sounds terrible it also has a slight Death March feel to it and in almost all cases

It’s not just a bareface lie but absurdly dishonest if Barcelona fans sang it between 2008 and 2012 it would still be boring I assume I mean maybe it would sound better in Catalan but at least there would be a grain of truth to it if hungary’s faithful likewise had

Serenad push gash HTI and kotchish with it in the early to mid 1950s you’d have had to have said fair enough when Newport County fans while languishing in the bottom half of the Lee 2 table are singing about being by far the greatest team that the world has ever seen

Questions have to be asked such as the best team at what because it’s certainly isn’t football at singing the same song as everyone else but it making even less sense perhaps and if that is what they mean then there is a sort of tautology

To it that I can respect to be honest if you can prove to me that that is the case I’ll take it off the list no questions asked and say fair play to everyone seeing it Fifth 10 German bombers I said I wouldn’t include so-called tragedy chants in this seven

But one could certainly argue that tragedies don’t come much greater than World War II in which more than 50 million people lost their lives now don’t get me wrong I am glad that the Germans lost the Second World War I am happy to get that on the record I also

Think that idar mean was a bit of a dick and that putting cats in blenders is quite mean to them and if German bombers being shot down particularly in the back Battle of Britain encouraged or accelerated that outcome that it was a desirable event in the most undesirable

Of circumstances there is a very good reason however why Chance like 10 German bombers two world wars and one World Cup and stand up if you won the war didn’t take off among England fans until the 1990s and that’s because it wasn’t until the 1990s the most of the people who

Actually fought in World War II had either died or at least constituted a vanishingly small number of match and tournaments attending football fans of course any chance of standup if you won the war or to be met now with a stadium or Town Square full of people sitting

Down unless it’s actually referring to the Falcons or something in which case why do we only sing it against Germany instead it is met with a bunch of boozed up footy fans whose only scrap was with some Poland fans in dorf the night before and the closest have ever come to

A war zone being the Black Friday sale at the big Tesco when there was a two for one deal on Carling acting as though they were Marshals in the RAF four decades before they were born when we landed in Germany for the 2006 World Cup England fans were reminded that it was

Illegal in Germany to Goose step Oru Nazi salutes and a load of them still did it it is a sort of bizarre cosplaying totally devoid of any actual respect for the war dead and almost no one who experienced the misery of World War II would be so tasteless or crass

I’m not particularly precious about fans invoking offi issues in chance even if it might seem like it in this segment but the issues they pick sometimes are just so bizarre I was once at a game where fans spontaneously be enchanting the falan zeras at Pablo zabala it is

Sort of amusing but I’m not sure that there is any other industry in the world where you’d end up with thousands of people shouting that at you purely because you’re Argentinian basically 10 German bombers is rubbish it should be retired like the One World Cup and two

World wars basically has been and 5-1 even hesky scored is an infinitely better funnier and more damning Chant by any metric fourth marching on together leads fans come at me I’m willing to die on this hill I should say I think almost all football club anthems are Dreadful

That’s it Alfie alienate half your audience in instead of just leads fans add a boy marching on together is the worst though in my view because it sounds terrible the lyrics are awful and the whole scarf twirling thing makes me want to die inside maybe like molded by

The Tigers it is meant to be ironic in a sort of we know that this is embarrassing that’s the joke kind of way but I don’t get that impression if I’m wrong leads fans feel free to correct me in the comments and I shall retract everything that I’ve said but I don’t

Think that’s the case maybe it’s just me but from the first line I think that it just sort of sounds like a high pitch whining noise a bit like the sound of a V1 flying bomb which incidentally is what I hope will drop on my head and explode whenever I hear it

Together the lyrics are about as banal and vacuous as you could possibly dream up we’ve been through it all together we’re going to see see you win etc etc like if you asked AI to write an Anthem for a football club but then prompted it

To make it worse about 8 times until you ended up with marching on together sorry leads fans but it’s a racket I hate it and I’m glad that I only have to hear it twice a season third fight and win I feel bad for including this because I’ve slagged off boring and predictable

Chance in This video and yet here I am including the most boring and predictable inclusion in English football fans view American soccer fans as being sort of sanitized and a little bit cringy and I think this clip along with the USA USA USA chant just sort of plays into that narrative and stereotype

Also this guy just looks possessed come on [Applause] Seattle fight and win [Applause] it’s the way he nods after every line like he’s just dropped the sickest dist track of 2K13 or delivered a Sonic worthy of Shakespeare rather than you know just having shouted come on Seattle

And fight and win each time I actually found American fan culture in terms of the relative newness of it and how in typically American sty it is a sort of melting pot of all different cultures with some nness added in for good American measure and I don’t think that

Fight and win man nor indeed I suspect this brief clip of him that is all that most non-americans have ever seen is representative nonetheless it is terrible so regrettably predictably but sticking true to the video’s title I’m afraid it has to feature second Chelsea Ranger I honestly

Can’t believe that I haven’t put this top a bit like a plane crash in so far as you know that it’s a Trav unfolding but somehow you can’t take your eyes or ears away if you’ve never heard a Chelsea fan deliver the Chelsea Ranger chance then allow me to ruin your life

I’m afraid that you have lived a Charmed existence for far too long I want to be a ranger I want to be a chel ranger I want live a life of danger I live a life of danger I want beat every week I want to be this every week chase them up and

Down the street Chas them up and down the street it’s to the girl that I love best it’s the girl that I love best every night I sucker bre every night I suck sh standing sh standing shag L Shing had wi she had WI a sh flying sh

Flying now she’s dead now she’s dead but not forgotten not forgotten uper up I mean where to start oh what the hell we might as well start with the first few verses I suppose it’s starts off with I want to be a Chelsea Ranger all righty then so far so intriguing I

Wonder what that entails I want to live a life of danger well all right a life of danger apparently what kind of danger I bet you’re wondering I want to beat yids every week chase them up and down the street well boy that sure did take a

Turn for the worst for the uninitiated yid is an anti-semitic term used to describe Jewish people and in the context of English football it is chiefly associated with Spurs fans due to the club’s Jewish rots some spurs fans refer to themselves in chances yids ostensively in an effort to

Reappropriate the word in a similar way to how some black movements have done likewise with anti-black racial slurs I suspect Chelsea fans who used the word would cite that as a justification but I would just ask how would you interpret it if someone chanted about beating up

Black people and chasing them up and down the street while using a slur that black people have attempted to reclaim yeah not very charitably I’d imagine following a bit of anti-Semitism we get a touching and increasingly graphic love story and then out of nowhere and with zero explanation the girl involved dies

The line announcing this truly tragic news reads and I qu quote I wouldn’t want to get it wrong now she’s dead that’s all we get on that one this is the girl that he loved best just a moment ago but there is an awful sort of callousness in response to her

Presumably untimely and premature passing I suppose that is to prepare us for what happens next though I’m not sure that anything could fully prepare any firsttime listener to the heel turn that gets dropped in the last Daner namely well uh necrofilia the must presumably given the orchestrated nature

Of the chance be Chelsea fans who joined in at first thinking yeah I want to be a Chelsea Ranger why not and then hang on that sounds a bit anti-semitic and then before you know it oh I’m a necrofilia now in for a penny in for a pound yeah

It’s not the best on second thoughts maybe Chelsea fans should just stick to repeatedly shouting the word Chelsea rather than getting any more adventurous I’m only joking Chelsea fans I know know that you’re not really all anti-semitic necrophiliacs you don’t have to point that out in the comments

First I don’t really know what else to title this one other than and given that off the back of that you probably have zero idea what I’m talking about I’d probably best start by playing the clip your [ __ ] ah [ __ ] of ah we are the T

Ah all right I’ll level with you I’m not totally sure whether this is the best or worst chance in football to begin with the ah you’re not very good H when a goalkeeper takes a goal kick is another chant that not only loads of clubs do thus rendering it awful by default but

One that would be terrible even if it was unique I suppose the version that I just played for you is a little bit different to its credit but for all of the wrong reasons with the sheer amount of ARS in there you could be G for

Thinking that it was a chant dreamt up by Blackbeard and first performed aboard the queen an’s Revenge pirate ship you wouldn’t be too far wrong it is actually Chesterfield fans most of whom like pirates live a life of crime and suffer from scurvy due to a lack of vitamin C

In their diets I’m sorry Chesterfield fans honestly I have been to the SMH group stadium and that wasn’t my experience at all really I will say anything for cheap laughs on YouTube I’m Shameless I’m not going to analyze this one I could never do it Justice like the

Finest works of gerter or Shakespeare demystifying it would remove some of the art and Majesty so instead I will just play it one more time and ask you to pay particular attention to the very last ar your [ __ ] ah [ __ ] up ah we on the town

Ah yeah no you know what I’m sorry I take it all back it is definitely the best there’s not even any anti-Semitism or necrophilia in there really I don’t know what I was thinking do you know what swap it out put Manchester United’s Anthony martial chance in seventh and

Bump everyone else up a place I heard that sng at Old Trafford this season any chant that includes the line Tony Marshall scores again as if it were a frequent occurrence in 2023 deserves to feature I know technically you only need to have scored two goals to have scored

Again but I’m fairly sure that it is within the spirit of that song to suggest that he scores quite often martial has 1- 12 in the Premier League this season 2-8 in all competitions and he hasn’t hit double figures in a single season in over four years in total he

Scored 63 goals in 208 games at Old Trafford yeah I think it is time to retire the chant Lads and except that but for two Good Seasons and factoring in his wages during that time it has probably been a dam site more than 50 million down the drain right anyway

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