‘I felt slightly hurt for Azaylia’ Ashley Cain On Becoming A Father Again | Good Morning Britain

Ashley Cain has revealed he is set to become a father for the second time – two years after the death of his baby girl Azalyia. He discusses his feelings of guilt and hurt as well as his continued ambition to raise awareness for The Azaylia Foundation and childhood cancer.

Broadcast on 04/01/23

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#GMB #ashleycain #theazayliafoundation #childhoodcancerawareness

For the past couple of years former footballer Ashley Kane has completed extreme challenges in memory of his beautiful daughter aelia who lost her life to cancer and now a new daunting challenge is going to lies ahead for him I’m going to be speaking to Ashley in

Just a moment oh it’s such a Bittersweet moment for you isn’t it Ashley yeah um I mean listen I believe that every child that enters this world is an absolute blessing um and like the journey was with my daughter it was tough but it was incredibly beautiful and that’s how I

Believe that this next journey is going to be with my son you know I always said that you know trying to be a good father is a process of navigation and now I’m trying to navigate being the best daddy to my daughter in heaven while trying to

Be the best father to my son on Earth so congratulations because you found out in July didn’t you that you were going to be a dad again and what were your first thoughts when when the baby’s mom told you while I was a couple of days away from going to the

Yukon so you know I was I was very focused I was trying to you know come back alive and then I got that news um I was going to be a dad again you know it was it was different to usually finding out that news because I felt slightly

Guilty um I felt I felt slightly hurt for aelia and and I didn’t really expect this to be the case but very quickly um like I do I talk the responsibility of being a father I realized that every child is a blessing and I got myself in

The right mind frame and had a long time to think about it in the Yukon to try and be the best person I can be my son that’s going to be coming into this world and and that’s what I intend to do tough thing isn’t it because when you um

Are expecting your first child it’s just very exciting and very new and then um but once you kind of suffer have suffer loss in the way that that you have with as alen as mom does it make it harder to feel excited the second time around I mean do

You feel conflicted all the time about kind of loss as well as opportunity well 100% I mean I I think I was meant to be a daddy and I love children I love my my family’s children and it’s hard every time to see them because I always think

That’s what Zia will be doing now and I think think that’ll be the case with my son but we also had news that he has a potential heart defect um which was very painful to hear and it was very concerning because I’ve been through you know that situation of heartbreak with

His AIA as everyone knows and um so I’m just trying to stay very positive very hopeful and keeping that belief you know that you know he’ll be okay and I’m just going to make sure that I’m in you know as solid and as good a position I can be

To to be the best best that I can either way but yeah yeah you’ve got a lot of strength haven’t you within you that that you’ve built up um the reason I say B the baby’s mother is because the baby’s mother doesn’t want her identity shared you know she’s she’s private

Person is was it difficult for you um telling safia because safia suffered the loss of AIA with you and you’re not together anymore and I wonder whether that conversation was a was a tough one and what you know how how she’s doing right now it was incredibly difficult as

You can imagine um but it was important for me you know when I found out to be as open as honest and as transparent as I could be while trying to be respectful and caring at the same time um when I told Sophia I couldn’t have expected it

To have gone any better um it was a time where we both shed tears you know but it was a time where she congrat congratulated me and wished me the best I mean we haven’t been together for years now um and we’re both adults and I

Try and respect her private life and she tries to respect mine but like tomorrow we’re both going to Birmingham Children’s Hospital to to do Santa’s Grotto for these children so our relationship remains strong and we’re still going to be United in trying to create a brighter future for these

Children you’ve been together and been talking about the foundation on our program yeah and um do is that kind of mission that you have with the foundation for aelia is that going to to carry on or um silly question of course it is um listen one thing that I said is

I cannot stop doing what I’m doing of course because you know that little girl was special to me that little girl you know was more than a daughter she she she’s somebody that inspires me she’s somebody that I look up to and she’s somebody that’s gave me a reason to be

The best person I can be for other people on this Earth and I I love her I will I miss her and I will always honor her and that mission has to continue because there’s still so many children on this Earth that’s incredible need it and in fact you had a conversation

Didn’t you with aelia you went when you found out you were going to be a dad again you went to speak to her to her grave she was the first person I needed to speak to wow um I had to go down and um tell straight away I always envisioned like this

Incredible relationship that I was going to have with my daughter it was going to be open it was going to be honest I was going to talk to her about anything she was going to be a to trust and tell me anything and that hasn’t changed for me

I had to tell her because I believe that by talking to her it will help lift the way on my shoulders and by being honest with her then I would know what the right thing is to do and how the right way is to feel

And as soon as I did speak to her I did I believe you know she would have been the most incredible big sister she’s strong she’s fearless and even now she would always watch over and protect him and that’s the most important thing for me did you tell her about your new

Challenge coming up the new challenge was actually when I got back from the Yukon it was a alas um it was aia’s birthday and so all the family were down there and I there and I was looking at a resting place and I was

Looking up to the sky and I said I need to do something else and then I said to my brother I’m going to run Jonah gr to lanzen I’m going to cycle lanzen to Jon gr and I’m going to kayak Jonah gr to lanzen 2,800 miles and everyone started

Laughing and I went I’m going to do it when I was down there I picked up some unfathomable like some crazy amount of strength and I was like I need to do something which is going to which hasn’t been done before in the world which is

Going to take a long duration of time which has the potential to raise a lot of awareness and funds for Childer cancel and especially our new PhD fund which we believe is going to have a huge impact for these kids so that’s what I intend to do and God it’s hard work at

The minute trying to prepare and train for it especially with everything else going on but um I believe that I’ll do it because I’m going to start on my daughter’s anniversary which always gives me strength yeah through the sadness and uh yeah hopefully have a big

Impact and and raise a lot of money do you know what Ashley you are such a remarkable person and you’re so good at having conversations which a lot of people would find very very difficult and I think it’s really inspiring how you have those conversations and we’re talking about that this morning because

Of course 1 million minutes incredible is our campaign to encourage people to talk to connect and perhaps have difficult conversations in the wake of things which leave people sometimes feeling broken I think you know any advice I would give to somebody that’s going through l or somebody that supporting

Somebody that’s going through loss always talk about it I think you know one thing that we miss when we when we lose somebody is being out to share those memories with other others and I think if you are open and honest with that person and you can share the

Memories it keeps the memories alive in our hearts and in our spirits and one big thing that I do every time I walk into any environment I say hello I ask someone how they are and it’s not just that person that feels better it makes me feel better about my day too talking

Is so important all of us should do it and I think it would improve everyone’s quality of life if everyone was just a bit more open with each other put a smile in each other’s face and in turn it’ll put a smile back in your heart we’ve had 6 million more minutes pledged

Just over the course of our show this morning and listening to you I’m sure there’s going to be millions and more people pledging to have those conversations and we will all be with you and thinking of you over those 3,000 miles as you’ll be thinking of chatting

To aelia and her little brother on the North Sea in that canoe we’ll all be there with you thank you so much guys I really appreciate it congratulations and love to everyone in your family Ashley thank you so much thanks Ashley